The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 28 Featuring Steve-O

And hello and welcome.

Hello, and welcome to the Adam Freelance Show.

Very special guest today, Steve-O.

Yeah, Steve-O's here.

So, I get there Saturday early show, and it's 10 minutes before showtime.

I go downstairs, the showroom's fucking empty for the most part.

There's a handful of people pushed over to one, the tables and chairs are pushed over to one side of the stage, and all of the wait staff is like they're shining a light at this pipe, and the room smells like feces.

And the manager tells me, he's like, he's like, yeah, we had a problem real quick.

I guess like a sewage line burst.

So we're just going to get cleaned up real quick and we're going to start maybe 10, 15 minutes late.

And they kept up this.

Yeah.

And then behind him, I hear somebody yell, like, no, don't, don't flush.

And then there's just more feces spraying all over the wait staff.

And they kept up this charade of, we're going to push another 10 minutes.

for another hour and 45 minutes.

That, yeah,

you've had multiple weekends canceled because of plumbing issues plumbing issues yeah that's your style dude i had a i had a hot water heater explode in pittsburgh and it canceled two shows that's nice that's always nice do you like it when shows get canceled

um

i don't know that i've had a lot of experience with shows getting canceled there was one time when i shattered my ankle

and had to postpone a weekend reschedule.

Was that awesome?

Were you like, fuck yeah?

It was just regular.

It wasn't prank style.

What brand?

My ankle injury.

It's kind of a weird thing.

Like

I was standing on top of this wooden outhouse while my buddy crashed a car through it and I was trying to look at it.

That's sort of a plumbing issue.

That cancellation.

That's plumbing issue.

Yeah, so you also had a fecal-related show cancellation.

So you lied to Nick.

You have had poo issues.

Yeah.

Pooh Pooh issues.

Well, he didn't say that.

He just said I didn't have shows.

I'm just keeping the man honest.

And then he said, with the exception of the one time I fell off a toilet.

Are we acting cool right now?

I don't know.

What does that mean?

Are we acting cool right now?

Are we acting cool?

I mean, dude, I get it.

We're such big fans.

It's your deal, dude.

It's your deal.

I actually met you once.

Okay.

I don't think you're going to remember, but I was walking on Sunset Boulevard in Silver Lake and a cyclist crashed.

And then I looked down

at onesie and then your penis was out.

Yeah.

And I was like, who is this?

How do you get like a

one-piece cycling suit with a penis cut out?

And then I was like, oh, my God, it is Stephen O.

None other.

It was cycling shorts painted on.

Oh, really?

Like latex, like the latex body paint or like just

latex body paint.

Like

I love that, too, because

that was the original dick painting.

Really?

Yeah, it was just like an idea for a prank, kind of a gag on the street.

I thought, like, let me

get a hardcore cyclist suit, like, all legit, everything except the shorts, just paint them on.

Yeah, I think I was asked to sign a release, and I said, it is button honor, sir.

But zap.

And then you made it into the actual special.

That was for my

second comedy special, which was my first one that had a multimedia component.

What's the worst you ever hurt your dick in your life?

The worst I ever hurt my dick.

Was there ever a time you're like, I'm just not gonna have a dick anymore i've ruined i've there are too many pranks my dick would you for the for like a special would you get the vaccine in your dick like if they if we could set that up to have you go to like walgreens and get the vaccine in your dick my dick has gotten off pretty easy all things considered it's my balls that have been your testicles yeah my balls

was kind of the dick injury guy you were the ball injury guy right you guys are all specialists kind of yep yeah yep

um and my scrotum has gotten the the the worst of it really what what happened

just like with stapling my my ball sac to my leg you know it was never a wild boys incident

um

yeah nothing really terrible ever happened to my balls on wild boys that i can remember i remember us like tying like uh

I don't want to call it a noose, but you know, like

you were racist to your point.

You painted your dick black and then

that's wrong.

That's just wrong in this day and age.

How dare we're going to, we're going to have a lot of respect for this man.

We're like this racist ball thing.

We like tied

strings around our junk and then

like there was a fish and like we threw the fish or something and the bird flew off of it and it would yank the

balls.

We did fishing where we I remember the shark thing

that makes me so scared.

Yeah, I remember being in the theaters, and you put the hook through, yeah, I saw the sharks, and I was like, I was like, uh, I really wanted to throw up.

I hate sharks, they're terrifying.

Yeah,

is that guy?

Is it where's that guy, Manny, at these days?

He's still around, man.

He's still doing his thing.

I feel like he fucks like MILFs constantly.

He's settled down with

a very attractive woman.

That guy has to pull.

Yeah.

Can you imagine?

A master of beasts like that?

I can never provide a woman with that type of

aura, you know?

Yeah.

Pheromones are strong.

How about yourself?

Are you in a relationship?

I am, man.

I'm engaged.

Been engaged for a long time.

To Manny?

Not to Manny.

No.

I got a fiancée.

She's a...

She's lovely.

She's very lovely.

And what does she do?

She works in set design, art direction.

Was she involved with Jackass?

Not Jackass, but she's been very involved in my work.

Like

the

Like the this new comedy special that I have out now

she was the production designer.

And it's pretty badass.

She built a fucking seven-foot-tall, 24-foot-wide wall of television sets that all worked and were all wired together and all like presenting the show with me.

Oh, wow.

Badass.

Tubes or tubes or L C D's?

Old school retro.

Nice.

80s, 90s, too.

Yeah, so like you're like the architect in the Matrix.

Yeah.

What's the name of your special?

Let's get it.

It's called Stevo's Bucket List.

And what the bucket list is, is like super.

You just shot-for-shot remake of the bucket list with you.

It's just utterly fucking forbidden shit that was like never supposed to happen, but then I was like out of ideas and I was like, okay, I guess I'll do those.

Forbidden, like the racist ball.

Yeah, the penis lynching.

Yeah, forbidden, like the.

You say the word in it?

No, I don't say anything.

I don't say the word, but I definitely's this is i'm steve-o and this is the scene from die hard too

now there's definitely uh some triple x rated though like i um like

i

full penetration

i i masturbate while

uh

I'm totally naked.

I got another man strapped to my back.

I'm in an airplane and I'm jacking off to where like once I pass the point of no return, I give the sign.

I'm like, get the fuck out of the plane.

And so that I'm coming out of the plane, coming out of the plane.

It's like Band of Brothers.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

That is literally what our grandparents did in Belgium.

You're like Captain Winter on the front.

They went skyjacking in Belgium.

Yeah.

Well,

they're paratroopers.

Oh, shit.

I thought I was the first one to do that.

Yeah, they saw their friends die in front of their eyes.

What is, I mean, a major part of Jackass is like this game of gay chicken that all boys play with each other, right?

The game of gay chicken.

Like we all try to push, like do a gayer and a gayer thing, but never quite cross that.

Right, right, right, right.

And, but what's the closest you got to just full-on rough trade gay sex?

Um,

there was a time in Russia when

I was videotaped kissing the head of Chris Pontius' penis.

Yeah.

That's not gay.

I have like brain damage.

So until like, just until I started the sentence, I thought you were saying like the man who's in charge of Chris Pontius's penis.

I thought that's what you meant by the head of the

head of the bench.

Like there was like a bureau.

Yeah.

Some organization that makes the decisions.

The head.

Yeah, right.

Vladimir.

Because Russia would have that.

The FSA.

They love bureaucracy over there.

They would have the head of Chris Pontius' penis as a political office.

That's what

communism does to people, you know, end up with

jobs like that.

Yeah.

They're not a communist anymore.

Yeah, it's still.

Yeah, they're just freelance penis kissers.

Sure.

Now they do it for a capital city.

Now it's all just Putin's gangster friends who have taken over that role from the people.

Yeah, that's what the, that's what those.

Man,

can we just...

Are they still talking about Ukraine and LA?

Are people still upset about that?

I mean...

Have they moved on?

I don't know that they're talking about it, but

can

what's your opinion on the Jews next?

Ukraine first, do the Ukraine first, or you can combine them.

You can just do Ukraine Jews and how you feel about that.

What's your opinion on Ukraine Jews?

I think that it is

pretty shocking and alarming that there is

like basically zero chance that we're not looking at a presidential election with two candidates,

Trump and Biden.

Like we can't do better than that.

Well, we already did.

We had that last time.

Yeah.

We already did it once.

We can do it again.

I know.

Like,

I'm not even trying to pick a side here.

I'm just saying that's a fucking rocking hard spot.

I'm voting for Wendy Williams.

I'm just writing Wendy Williams in.

Rocking a hard spot, dude.

Like, how do you vote for either person?

I'm writing in Rab himself.

Yeah.

I just think that that's fucking crazy.

Yeah.

I think that's fucking crazy.

And I think that

World War III

is like a thing.

Yeah, but we're too old for that.

No,

honestly, I'm more worried about World War IV.

That's the one where the evil scientists bring the Jews back to life.

We're going to

just...

slay so many uh military wives while the young bull the young bulls are out there at World War III.

Is that what guys in their late 30s were doing during World War II?

I thought that was like other, that was like the cowards.

They talked about that in Band of Brothers.

I just re-watched.

Yeah, but it's not like, oh, my high school sweetheart's fucking some 37-year-old podcaster.

Well, they were fucking.

It's like the guy that wants to work for the post office.

Yeah, exactly.

They were fucking

4F?

4F.

Not 4-H.

That's like what?

Like guys that make yarn.

In rural schools.

What are the 4Fs?

I don't even think a medical.

They're not going to make it to World War IV.

ivory yeah i think world war three that's a wrap dog yeah and who are you going with in this next world war we're saying china china's not even gonna have to lift a finger dude they're just gonna wait until everybody blows each other up and then they're fucking they're getting their hands on that sweet taiwanese pussy that they've been waiting for for years i just want to i just want to claim fealty to the chinese communist party and have them give me one of those long opium pipes yeah yeah that's the coolest part of the nick is it just opens on some chinese lady's pussy yeah that's the first thing you see in that show.

We love the Nick.

We were talking about that.

We were just talking about that.

That's a good ass show.

It's him waking up and it's a Chinese lady's pussy and she's like, excuse me, but it's your time, you're looking at my pussy time is over.

And then he has to go to his job at the hospital.

That, I mean, very well,

well done, the Nick.

Yeah.

Speaking of,

today's episode is brought to you by, I think Ginsburg put those in order.

Where?

i don't know

yeah uh today's episode is brought to you by blue chew

um

let's talk about sex do you want to bring the heat in the bedroom you ever use a blue chew

yes they're awesome right yeah i just i eat them every day just because i think they're good for my heart check it out dude my fiancé

like she loves it when i bone her yeah

and and sometimes like uh i'll go and i'll chew a blue chew which makes my tongue blue Yeah.

And then I'll just go up to my girl and stick my tongue out.

She'll see that it's blue.

She'll scream like, ah, she's so excited because she knows.

That part embarrasses me.

It's like having like a juice smile.

I feel like a disabled kid.

Yeah, I don't want like my girl to know that I'm like Sammy Sosa or Mark Maguire.

Oh, yeah.

I'm wondering if they get natural.

Yeah.

I know.

Like I celebrate it.

It is like kind of a half, you get an extra half inch.

You get like a six, 15-year-old boner when your dick was like angry and vibrating and you're like i need pussy i need pussy yeah my girl knows that she is in deep trouble really when the blue time

i don't even use it the fuck anymore i just take it as heart medicine

i don't have health insurance yeah it's dropped his blood pressure yeah yeah yeah but that is not a claim that we're making actually it's a medical okay guys a blue chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients of viagra sialis and la vitra in a chewable tablet at a fraction of the cost you You can take it anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever the opportunity arises.

It's kind of like Coor's Light, your tongue being blue.

That's right.

Yeah, it's like when the mountains are blue.

Yep.

Really?

Have you ever made a woman

comp

with a blue tongue?

The

I don't

remember.

I had a weird experience with

squirting.

Oh, squirting?

Yeah,

many, many years ago.

I was like 22 or 23.

This woman was

on top of me.

And at some point,

it was just like

just all

wet diarrhea.

She crapped on you.

She shit all over you.

It was liquid.

Like, I'm guessing that it was like that.

That was the phenomena of squirting.

And like,

I think a lot of guys would be like super into that, like, think it was really cool.

Like, not me, man.

I was like, kind of grossed out.

And, like, I never talked to the chick again.

You ghosted.

I ghosted, dude.

Her nasty squirt and everything.

I did see her again, and she was none too pleased with having been ghosted.

And she was right.

And so I want that

woman if she's watching.

Diarrhea Susie, if you're listening.

I can only assume that she is watching because you guys have massive viewership.

It's dwindled.

I want her to know.

We're 40 years old now.

We're not kids.

Honestly, these cameras aren't plugged in.

I just want to hang out for you.

I'm not going to name her because I don't want to put her on blast.

Tequila, Tequila.

Yeah.

We thought maybe you could introduce us to Drew Barrymore.

How about that?

I did come here from.

Adam, do your Drew Barrymore impression forum.

I'm so excited to meet you, Steve.

How's that?

I was an alcoholic when I was a baby.

I was a baby alcoholic.

I fucked E.T.

Did she tell you that while you were doing the show?

Did she bring that up?

Was she like that?

I never met her.

Oh, okay.

Anyways, Blue Chew.

Yeah, so the best part is it's all done online.

So no visits.

So the doctor.

No visits.

Maybe a Zoom call.

No awkward conversations.

I didn't have to do that.

I didn't consult with the medical provider right at bluechew.com.

It takes a moment.

He had to do the Zoom call, but I didn't.

I told the nurse practitioner about a breakup that I was occasionally

confirm that I'm not on other medication.

Yeah.

And then you just say yes, and then we'll give you more of it.

Yeah.

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Chew it and fucking do it like Steve.

And

special deal is that in the copy chew it and do it chew and do it and do it that's her that's their fire that's their line so sick i'm so mad at my podcast guy who who is that

the ad guy yeah he's never told me about chew it and do it yeah well it's in it's it's on the page you've been lied to

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Dude, this guy is, he's working for us.

For free.

What a great guy.

Yeah, so go ahead and do that and tell him Steve sent you.

All right, let's get back into it.

Yeah, if you want to be a dick,

type in the promo code Steve-O.

No, come on.

It doesn't matter.

It's fine.

They still sell a product.

It doesn't matter.

No, but I want them to do TAFS.

Yeah, that was me being a dick right now.

No,

you're fine, bro.

You're fine.

You're absolutely fine.

We don't care.

So we were talking about Scumbag Vinny before this

before the episode.

So Steve knows who the legend is.

And you say you don't want to talk about Scumbag Vinny.

I don't care.

I don't think

it's good for business.

You don't want to platform him.

Why is it not good for business?

Wait,

it's money out of your pocket.

I'm just saying that when you're dealing with a massive audience like you guys have,

like the most

infinitesimal fraction of your audience even knows who this guy is.

And so by really making a big thing out of discussing him, you're just alienating a great deal of.

Well, then we'll give you the background.

So Scumback Binny is

a friend of the show.

We've known him for years.

He's one of the best guys I've ever met.

Yeah, I did.

Last time we spoke to him, he was

selling bootleg Disney products on Amazon.

Vinny Orlando right now is doing he's doing big business

selling Mickey Mouse merchandise on Amazon.

He's also defrauded our mutual friend Bam.

I'm going to guess that those are allegations.

I think there's no Vinny's side.

They're on Vinny's side.

These are things he's bragging about.

Here's what I know.

I know that

there was a period where my buddy Bam Margera was our buddy our friend

he was in a real kind of mutual friend of you us and scumbag Vinny our collective the man who brought us together so

it was around like the dr.

Phil like also friend of the show dr.

Phil yeah and uh

like this Vinny guy had some little

Bam tour put together yeah and I met there we met him and I was like the bam the the Bam Margiero tour brought to you by Disney.

And I was like, you know what?

It's really not that rad of an idea right now.

They were trying to, like, behind the scenes, there were like concerted efforts to

have an intervention for Bam and to try to help him get better.

And like, it just wasn't, it was, it just didn't seem like a very good idea to be like carting Bam around at that time.

And

I

brought it up with my agent or somewhere was like hey can you like just kind of help like kind of maybe stop this nonsense with yeah and so like i was responsible for uh the termination of that tour indirectly well i thought he was on tmz the next night yeah i mean there was a lot going on at that time but uh i think that just vinny was none too pleased that um

that i had uh kind of nipped his fuck vinny he's a loser but but no he's a vinny's a survivor he's like a cockroach

You can't really feel bad for upsetting him.

Yeah, I mean, he's a fraud.

He's a fraud.

He's gone back and forth between being

very hateful towards me and very nice.

And he's just one of these.

He's like the abusive boyfriend who apologizes to me.

Don't give him that power over you.

He's just some psycho in Florida who sells Disney.

Yeah.

You know what?

I'm not.

He's like a little cobra at the zoo.

You're like, wow, look at this.

He's a cockroach.

He literally is a cockroach.

He will survive a nuclear holocaust.

Yeah.

Vinny will be there at Disney stealing like

me living in Magic Mountain after.

Like, good news, dude.

I found a way to eat the fuel they use for the fucking

roller coasters.

I've converted my metabolism.

No, it's all right.

I was just going to go down that road.

Vinny living off.

Go ahead.

The last I

have understood

was that Bam is defying all odds by

remaining

clean and sober

after

his ankle monitor was taken off.

He's had this like ankle thing, which will detect alcohol.

And if he drinks alcohol, it's going to go

and then he's going to get thrown in jail.

Yeah.

Would you say he's sort of the Matthew Perry of your crew?

I wouldn't say Matthew Perry.

Well, he's definitely not the Ross.

He's not Ross.

He's not Ross.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's not Joey for me.

He's not Joey either.

You're kind of Joey.

You're Joey.

Matthew Perry

Perry

is a different dynamic than his character, Chandler, right?

I think it's kind of the same guy.

I never knew his character's name on the show.

Yeah, I later found out that it was Chandler Bing.

I thought it was Matthew Perry, Ross, Joey, Rachel.

You remember when you were a kid and you find out about that like British Commodore, Matthew Perry?

Yes.

And you're like, what the fuck is this?

The captain.

He can't have that name.

He can't be fucking Chandler from friends.

He stole his name.

Yeah.

The Commodore.

That always pissed me off.

Anyway, we call you off.

I'm sorry.

I'm good, man.

So he's doing well.

I think that

at the moment, I think that he's in a better place than he's been in in a long time.

That's amazing.

Are you sober?

I am.

How long?

15 years.

You happy about it?

Is it just kind of

very, very happy about it?

I'm sober now.

I guess

16 years.

Well, I guess really, technically, only what, like three months?

Yeah, five minutes.

Yeah.

Five months.

No, I stopped drinking for nine years, but then I fell off the wagon and started drinking again.

Okay.

But I was doing Coke the whole time.

To what extent was like drugs used tolerate pain during the jackass days?

Zero extent.

Really?

I took a lot of painkillers and never once for pain.

They're not really pain killers.

That's like a missing.

Yeah, sure.

I mean,

they make you not care that you're like, oh, I guess my leg hurts, but damn, I'm fucking high right now.

I want to watch South Park right now for 10 hours on the couch.

Wait, so my assumption was always that you guys needed it because you were getting fucked, you were getting injured so badly.

but i'm i'm incorrect apparently yeah

now we just tech painkillers get

up what was your favorite

what was your note

i know like i was seeing

and like the all the opiates just like would make me like itchy and scratchy it was just kind of annoying you don't like that i used to i used to like the itchy part i used to like getting i used to like taking oxycontin and then you like you hold off throwing up as long as possible and you and then you barf and then you're like damn i I feel so fucking good.

I love taking pills.

Yeah, that was never my thing.

But, but man, I loved

Xanax and Valium.

Oh, yeah.

Those were my, like, benzos were fucking dope.

Those are dangerous, too.

The withdrawals you could die from.

Yeah, Xanax, yeah.

Have you helped other people since you've gotten sober?

It's kind of the idea is that we

make it a big deal to stay sober and help other people.

Do you have an organization?

No, but um

my lady and I

My lady and I bought a big property with the goal of Opening an animal sanctuary.

Oh for like a as a rehab dude.

That's my dream rehab just like you want to help like animals on drugs.

Drug addicts.

Farming

cows.

You don't hear a lot about that animals that are get footed.

That's my dream though is that well specifically an owl sanctuary if I could have like a fucking owl reserve.

My lady's big on owls.

Dude, owls are the best.

The coolest animal.

Yeah, and they will like fucking

grab a cat and just beat it.

Take away it.

Take it away.

It's gone.

Owls are like serious predators.

Watch out for

hide your kids, hide your wife.

Yeah.

What's the scariest animal you ever met in wild boys?

Did I ever tell you that story about that girl that was like, oh, I met the wild boys?

Did I tell you this story?

No.

This girl was like, she was like, oh, I met the wild boys.

Me and my friend met the wild boys, and we spent like the weekend with them.

I was like, Steve-O and Chris Pony?

She's like, no, it was like the other ones.

I'm like, what are you talking about?

It's just some of the two guys.

Yeah, we're actually from

that show.

Wild Boys?

Yeah, right.

We're kind of the two guys.

Yeah.

Wow, you got this guy some pussy, those two guys, those two guys indirectly.

The wombat was pretty fucking creepy, man.

Yeah.

Australia has bizarre animals.

They get killed all the time from animals over there in Australia.

Yeah.

Wild animals.

You don't have to worry about that in New York City.

They have so many fucking things that can kill you in Australia.

Insects, like off the charts, venomous shit.

Fucking, they have this bird called a cassowary that will just yeah, it like tears your stomach open.

Yeah, like these,

like

kangaroos will fuck you up.

Yeah, have you seen that video of that guy just rocking?

That's giving people license to punch kangaroos in the fucking face.

I've seen other videos now of other guys like fucking punching kangaroos and it's like

well the one guy's dog was in trouble he was the guy's dog now because of that one video you know there's just drunk australian retards going around

right yeah i'm gonna fight them they hate dogs they hate dogs they rip them

but in terms of intellect i mean regular australian guys somewhere around the level of kangaroo as it is yeah they had like they have one smart guy every hundred years

like than an average australian kangaroo might be 20 points iq higher their idea of a public intellectual was steve irwin i don't i don't know poet laureate of their yeah that's yeah i don't know how smart is iq

i'm not sure how smart a kangaroo is but australians are dumb they're yeah and kangaroos are strong dude yeah they're jacked yeah like but so are australian guys right but and they kind of have the opposite bodies like australian guys yeah they're like top heavy and then the kangaroos are And dude, I heard about this like a couple times in the last week, like a video of a guy like punching a kangaroo.

But like, I don't even understand that.

Like, a kangaroo has the distinct advantage.

Like, the kangaroo can fuck that guy up, right?

Like, they can go back on the tail and then double kick.

Yeah, that's why you got to punch him before they do that.

You're telling me that this guy punched the kangaroo and got away with it.

Yeah, well, there's the original, there's the original video of a kangaroo holding some guy's dog.

And the guy just gets out of his car and goes up to punches a kangaroo in the face.

And the kangaroo is kind of like shocked that he got stole like that.

So the kangaroo was asking for it because it was fucking with me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's like a paper, rock, scissors situation.

You don't want to do.

Manny would hate that.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Fume.

Fume, you're a big fan.

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Yes, I said.

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Beating up kangaroos.

Not a good habit.

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Did you get into Fume because they like I'm not even trying to quit anything.

I just genuinely love the experience of Fume.

So always have it in my pocket.

Did you get into this because they were like on your show?

I have never even heard about it.

You've never heard of it.

I heard about it as a potential podcast sponsor.

And I don't ever want to promote anything on my podcast unless I believe in it and I use it.

so i was like oh let me check it out and i put it together this is uh a diffusive device and it's got a core the core goes in there and so that it flavors air yeah we're trying to figure out what those were called last time

we called it a crap we thought it was a turd

so like this is how you can like

change bad habits into good habits.

You know, like filthy habits that make you stink.

Let's say you can't stop drawing swastikas all over those missing Israeli posters.

Let's say you're addicted to that.

Let's say you can't stop tearing down the missing Israeli posters.

Just switch to fume instead.

You do fume.

You do fume instead of.

You'll knock that right out of your system.

Yeah.

And there's habits, bad habits that like way more people have where like it's actual like dangerous chemicals.

Oh, yeah, that's true too.

And go ahead.

I have a standing offer with all the listeners of my podcast, and I will extend it to the listeners of your podcast.

If you see me in public, ask me, Steve-O, do you have your fume?

He's a good guy.

Yeah.

Do you have your fume on you?

You love, that's your favorite thing to say about people.

No, we just make fun of the people.

You said that, but you said it was like everybody.

He's so earnest.

You're like, he's such a good guy.

We suck as guys, maybe.

If you see me in public, ask me if I have my fume.

If I don't,

then I will make your goofy little shout-out video for your dumb little buddies you can I'll just sit there and and and do it and you know what I'll tell you how this happens People have asked me many many times.

Yeah,

I have it on me every time I don't go anywhere without it But because they asked me that means they're a listener of my podcast and I appreciate them and I love them.

I say you know what?

Let's make that dumbass fucking shout out video anyway

Awesome.

See here's a question for you.

What choke level are you at?

You gotta go look at it.

Okay, I opened it at the screen.

All the way?

Oh, yeah.

I see, I don't know.

I don't know if we can relate anymore.

That seems weird to me.

We did slim.

Yeah, you got to go all the way crank it all the way down.

I love it.

And I mean, this is like right here.

It's called the journey pack.

This is what you get from View.

Have you seen the picture of the guy you get in there?

Picture of the guy.

Open it up.

There's a picture of a really cool guy.

There's a picture of a really cool guy.

Like one of the coolest guys I've ever seen.

This is David Blaine's penis.

Your journey begins.

Yeah.

That's why they call it the journey pack.

It's a journey to a happier, healthier, less ashamed and embarrassed you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pull it out all the way, though.

Pull it out.

Underneath says,

I live in shame constantly.

Uh-huh.

I mean, dude, like, it's pretty embarrassing, man.

Can I get that one?

Can I get the new one?

Yeah.

There's a lot of habits out there.

Oh, no way.

New flavors, sparkling grapefruit.

I don't even know about that.

It's like a LaCroix.

Wow.

What do we got here?

Vanilla, orange, orange, raspberry, lemon,

and then my favorite crisp mint.

Uh-huh.

And then this guy is the guy with white cranberry.

I'm going to get it.

Let me get the white cranberry, please.

All right.

Thank you, sir.

I love it.

Like, I don't even have a habit that I'm trying to quit.

I just genuinely enjoy it.

It's good for you.

It's just flavored air.

It's all you're doing is breathing flavored air.

And I love it.

Well, it can't be bad.

It's just natural.

I'm going to guess that you have the same offers for your audience that I have.

Yeah, you want to go ahead and 10% off the journey pack.

Yes.

And what's that promo code?

I mean, that's going to be you go to try fume.com

slash T A A F F S S.

Dude, we didn't have to work the last 10 minutes.

This is awesome.

You did our job for us.

Thank you so much.

I'm sorry I restricted you into thinking this was the Drew Barrymore show.

It's all good, dude.

So

hit him with the impression again.

Say the thing about fucking E.T.

I fucked E.T.

when I was drunk.

When I was so five years.

When I was so drunk.

When I was so five years old.

Five years old.

Yeah.

Right, dude.

I'm not signing up on that.

Or the fucking.

No, she's a friend.

She's a friend.

She was a friend.

What do you mean?

The poster thing?

You told us you had that idea.

You pitched us on the idea.

Yeah, you were like to the next jackass.

We're going to go to Israel, dress as ninja turtles, and see what happens.

Oh, dude.

Wow, man.

I'm so excited.

A new flavor.

Let's get a review.

Let's get a little review, huh?

What's that like?

How's the mouth feel?

Raspberry lemonade.

All right.

Raspberry lemon, dude.

All right.

Amazing.

Yeah, so that's Trifume.com promo code T-A-F-S.

I still like the crisp mint, man.

Chris Mitt is nice, it makes you feel like you brushed your teeth.

I mean, personally, I only hit that one and stopped brushing entirely.

Good call.

Yeah, and the ladies do not know any difference.

Yeah.

How often are you in New York?

Not often, not really.

Do you like it?

Um,

I feel like getting around New York

can feel like

kind of a lot of work to get through a day like that.

How young were you when Jackass blew up?

26.

Yeah, so you never lived in New York.

Correct.

Yeah, so you've never had the opportunity to just be a guy here.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

I'm not mad at New York.

I love it.

It's a great experience every time.

I wish I came here more.

But you can't just ride the train.

You couldn't just go sit on the train and just zone out and be like fucking a psycho and not have people be like, oh, look, there's

a lot of people.

I just went walking through

Times Square to go eat Taco Bell.

But that's not like a that's not a good New York move, like coming like to go to Times Square to go to Taco Bell.

Pretty sick, though.

Yeah, I don't know, but that'd be like, that'd be like, I don't know if I like LA.

I went to fucking Hollywood and Vine.

I picked a fight with Spider-Man.

You know, it's like, okay, well, you picked the worst thing possible to go.

I think they go.

I'm out of Times Square.

Actually, I want to go back.

We were there last night.

It's kind of amazing, actually.

Yeah, dude.

We almost went to Taco Bell, actually.

We actually nearly went to the center.

Because Hard Rock Cafe was closed.

So it was Brooklyn Diner.

Dude, I was struck by just like the fucking magnitude of it.

I'm like, dude, I'm just captivated by these huge LED billboards.

And it's just like looking around.

I just like, I was like, damn, that's cool.

And so I'm going to go back there tonight to shoot.

To hang out with those?

To shoot an intro to a video that I'm like a little bit nervous to put out.

I mean, I'll put it out.

I just know everybody's going to fucking shit on it.

What?

Why?

Fuck them, dude.

Right, exactly.

Yeah, fuck everyone.

Those guys are fucking people.

I know.

That's where I'm at.

You're you.

You're doing it.

That's where I'm at.

Yeah.

You see, before I got clean and sober 15 years.

You got to hate people more.

Yeah.

Honestly, it's like,

there's a lot of positivity.

That's good.

But you got to have a little bit of...

Just pick one group of people.

It doesn't have to be a race.

It could be like, you know, I don't know, or maybe it could, the Basque.

Pick us, like a safe one.

And then just go, just be like, you know, just hate them.

Did you guys ever hear about when I tried to become a rapper?

No.

no yeah i tried to become a rapper i i even got a record deal with universal records to make a comedy gangster rap album uh-huh and i called my album hard as a rock and i thought that was funny and and i had great songs like down with stds can we hear them um well here i'll tell you what i just decided to become a rapper again Really?

You're back?

I'm back.

Really?

Yeah, and I recorded this song with Violent J from Insane Insane Clown Posse.

Oh, a friend of the show.

Also, a friend of the show.

Brought us together.

And it's a funny song.

It's called, I love my girl, but.

And it's about how one week a month, my girl.

When she has her period.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Don't get me started on that.

Demon.

Disgusting.

Demon week.

Disgusting.

Yeah.

So Demon Week is gnarly, and I made a funny song about it.

You know, it's like a nice prank that God plays is like she's feeling terrible and insane, but her breasts are just a little bit bigger and fuller.

So, us idiot guys, we're like this, and then our hands are slapped.

Yeah,

it'd be cool if there was a guy version of that.

Like, once a month, my asshole was tighter.

That would be cool.

Yeah, so I got all excited, man.

I got all excited, made this rap song, and uh, the audio version like uh was posted first before the video, and it was like, oh, you know, and people sharing something

shitting on it.

Fuck them shit.

Just fuck them, dude.

Fuck them.

You know what, dude?

Here's the thing.

Just make a video being like, you guys are all fucking losers.

I'm rich.

I'm Steve-O.

You're a fucking pussy.

Fuck you.

I'm not going to say that.

I'll start working on that video.

Okay, fuck everybody that didn't like the song.

Fuck you.

You fucking snobs.

Aren't you today?

Come lick my ass during my tight asshole.

You suck on my fucking balls.

Yeah.

Balls.

Dare you criticize our friend of the show who thought he was going to the Drew Barrymore for that.

The video is now done.

It's fantastic.

Really?

Who'd you get to direct it?

Fincher.

Dude, I got this fucking guy now who has

made 160 fucking music videos for the likes of Jennifer Lopez, MM, 50 Cent, the guy that's the most fucking prolific music video director slash special events guru.

His name's Henry Lipitov.

Henry Lipitov.

What are his famous videos?

Anything we've ever seen?

Did he do that Herbie Hancock rocket music video?

That was my favorite video.

He gave me a link to his resume.

You want to bring it up?

Yep.

Fucking Henry Lepitov.

He was a cool guy.

I was cool my bitch up by the Prodigy.

That's a cool video.

Money for nothing, but the

time.

Sledgehammer, that's a good one.

Peter Gabriel?

Yeah.

What's your favorite band?

Fuck, man.

You're not a favorite band.

It's like saying, what's your favorite food?

Ask me, man.

What's your favorite band?

CKY.

Easy.

A lot of sick.

You know, I don't always want to eat Twinkies.

Sometimes I want to fucking eat pussy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Exactly.

So I don't like, you know, it depends on what I'm in the mood for for what's my favorite band.

Did you, do you ever tell Bam that

him is not good?

I got a tattoo.

It's kind of a, you have the tattoo also.

I got a tattoo.

I don't know if that's offensive.

You're friends with them.

Are those guys?

They're like Dutch or New Regional.

They're like,

yeah, do they know who you guys are?

Do they have, do they know, do they have jackass?

Yeah, Bam West Boys.

Oh, okay.

Him had the heartogram.

Yeah.

So I got it.

Badass logo.

It is.

Yeah.

But I got.

The penisogram?

A dicogram.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I remember that.

Legendary.

Fuck, there it goes.

Yeah, there it is.

And it says me.

Oh, that's funny yeah it's cool instead of him it's a dicagram

to me yeah yeah

that is good camera

yeah it's pretty cool um

but yeah i'm gonna go to fucking times square and film an intro to my music video

you should have you ever ridden out with violent j like it's just gonna be me and my arm and say hey look uh

You ever ride to Staten Island Ferry?

No, but you should do that.

We're fucking in a hotel.

Like, look, I look out my my window and it says Staten Island.

Go down, go down.

Yeah, go down there.

Financial district.

Hey, go do that.

Go ride out.

It's free.

You go ride Staten Island and you come back.

That's like anybody who comes to New York, I recommend that.

Doesn't sound as visually satisfying as Times Square.

Why don't you just take my word for it?

I'm telling you.

It's good.

Dude, he feels like he knows New York better.

Yeah, this fucking guy, dude.

Oh, no.

He's up to New York.

It's free.

You get a perfect view of the Statue of Liberty.

It's amazing.

You got it.

You know what would be funny also?

Another New Yorker tip to you: go to South Williamsburg and maybe do a couple pranks on them.

Do a fun video there.

Yeah, do a real fun video.

We're talking about the Hasidic Jewish neighborhood.

Gotcha.

In this climate,

it would really go off.

It would really hit.

Do they know what's going on in the Saturns don't like Israel?

Yeah.

They're anti-Israel.

But they're anti-Israel because it's like you're

shortcutting.

It's like it's up to God.

Yeah, but also it's just like for some insane shit.

Like, yeah, women can drive.

Oh, okay.

You can't beat Chris Mint.

You can't beat it.

Yeah.

Chris Mint, dude.

But you got all these flavors to choose from, man.

Who knows what your favorite's going to be?

Maybe you're going to be all about that sparkling grapefruit or the maple pepper.

The fuck out of here.

Orange vanilla.

I'm trying that shit right now.

Yeah, you got to hit that.

What's the mouthfeel?

You know, they got like a zero version of every type of like Coke product now?

Oh, like Coca-Cola.

They got like Coke Vanilla Zero.

Wow.

Does it taste good?

That's like the one thing I'm really impressed by.

What's that?

Like, you know how, like, if you were like a boomer and the internet came out, you must have been like, wow.

This is the first time I'm like, holy shit, Mount Zero.

Yeah, it's really good.

Do you like soda?

Orange vanilla.

I don't pop this soda, dude.

Yeah, me neither.

But it's like not a baby like Nick.

I'm not a baby.

It's baby to like soda, dude.

Whatever.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry, dude.

I'm sorry.

That was rude of me.

Can you tell him I'm sorry about saying that thing?

He's not.

This guy hates me.

Nah,

this guy hates me because I'm friends with Vinny.

No, we're way more friends with Vinny, though.

Just kidding.

But you shouldn't be intimidated by Vinny.

I'm definitely not intimidated.

You shouldn't say that he's like your abusive husband.

Nah, I'm just saying that.

You said I love him.

You said I love him.

He's like, no, he does not hating.

He's like an abusive boyfriend who will just be really mean and then be all of a sudden super apologetic and like try to be cool with you.

And then like, he's going to do it again.

And he's going to like just, and it's like.

It's a cycle of violence.

Yeah.

And I just

kind of had enough.

Like I'm all good on him.

You know.

Maybe next time you're in New York, we'll broker a little peace accord.

I'll put on a Dr.

Phil style suit.

I'll be like, so

let's work on this relationship.

I'm not an impressions guy.

I'm sorry.

Do you do any impressions in your act?

No?

Did I do impressions?

No.

Have you ever tried one?

Chocolate.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, the Ice Man?

Yeah.

Is he still alive?

I met him at Erewhon parking lot in Calabasas once.

Really?

He does live right there.

I was starstruck.

Oh, you're a big fan of the Mix Marshall Mart

Marshall Marts.

We can't talk anymore.

Yeah.

What's going on with that?

It's been like a big problem.

The last two years.

no, I've got, I feel like it's like there's some kind of like bug or something, yeah, with mold or something.

Yeah, because I definitely have like a neurological problem that I didn't like six months ago.

I'm dumb, bro.

I can't speak, I can't get through a sentence.

I can't jumble up my words.

Do you feel like you're with two dumbasses right now?

No, man, I think you guys are freaking killer.

No, we're just two kids with dreams, but yeah, we're two 40-year-old kids, just we're just kids, just dreaming.

Orange vanilla is

dope, yeah.

Speaking of, we're also brought to you by our best friends.

You know these guys?

MyBookie.

MyBookie.ag.

MyBookie.ag.

And actually, I brought up the MMA thing because you're in town for a big event this weekend.

Who's fighting?

It's UFC T95.

We got the main event is Yuri Prohasu against Alex Pereira for the light heavyweight championship.

Alex Perry.

And you're going to

Alex Pereira is a small favorite.

I think sitting around

minus 130, minus 150.

You bet on that at mybookie.ag.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

I like Gary Perhaska.

I think he's a cooler dude.

I think he's a more likable dude.

And what's going on?

He's definitely a better-looking dude.

What's going on with you?

Nick Marshall.

I mean, dude, he's like fascinating, good-looking, you know?

Really?

Yeah.

Let's see if he's Gary.

It was all Brazilian people, and now it's uh like people from the cars yeah i was just saying that to him yuri prohoska

man is he from he's not from poland but i don't think he's from russia

poland

i think um

has he made a statement on ukraine or no

i i i don't know about i'm not sure where

he uh he's from i feel like it's from eastern europe and he's just dope here's another thing yuri prohoska was the light heavyweight champion, but then he had a pretty bad injury in training.

And he said, you know what, guys?

I don't want to hold up the division.

I'm just going to go ahead and vacate the.

Oh, he's an honorable man.

Honorable man.

He's like, hey, you know what, guys?

Like, I'll be back.

I'll fucking.

I'll beat up everyone.

I'll be back.

But in the meantime,

let me vacate it.

So then they had

a championship for the vacant title.

Oh, wow.

And now he's back from his injury.

The title is once again, ah, man, I forget his injury.

I feel like it was

probably in the shoulder.

I think it was a short.

Christinea, maybe.

No?

No?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so he's fighting this guy, Alex Pereira, who's Brazilian.

And

I did not enjoy

or take kindly to Alex Pereira's beef with my boy Anthony Smith.

Who's that?

He's another guy in the light heavier division.

Are you friends with fighters?

Yeah.

So you have a kind of a Shane Gillis lifestyle.

Why don't you get these guys to beat up Vinny if he's

the strong boys to beat up Vinny if you're so afraid of him?

You'd be like, listen, this guy I'm in love with keeps hurting me.

Yeah, this guy,

my husband, Vinny.

Yeah.

You can use my bookie for daily odds, boost, same game parlays, and take advantage of huge prize pool contests.

And the pick for this weekend is

Prohofsky.

I mean,

it's going to be a plus.

I think Yuri's a way more well-rounded fighter.

And handsome, you also said that.

Alex Pereira is a dangerous striker.

No doubt about it.

He's only got one tool.

It's his left.

That fucking left hook.

So fucking swing that.

If he catches him with the left hook, Yuri is going to sleep.

How do you think a kangaroo would do?

Why don't they let a kangaroo?

Dana White should let a kangaroo in there.

It's not a bad idea.

Yeah.

Or like Manny versus

fighting a kangaroo is definitely a lose-lose situation because if you win, then you're an asshole because you beat up a kangaroo.

That's the national symbol of Australia.

Right.

But if you lose, you got your fucking ass beat by a kangaroo.

There's really no good outcome.

I'll take that.

I'll take that.

Yeah, so we're going to go ahead and say let's keep the kangaroos out of the cage.

Use promo code TAFS on your first deposit and receive up to $200 in cash.

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Now,

guys,

you got a list.

We got an insider, we got insider info.

Yeah,

what kind of seats they put you in for UFC?

You're right behind rogues.

Um, the uh, man, this is Madison Square Garden.

Oh, my God,

like, uh,

typically,

uh, I'll be pretty fucking front row on the octagon.

But, man, New York City, Madison Square Gardens.

I feel like there's, that's kind of like if a show is in LA, I'd be really surprised if I was in the front row.

I think I'm probably sitting

like in front of like bigger.

I think I'm sitting one row behind bigger stars than me.

Do you know the lineup for this weekend?

Sure.

For the stars, I mean.

oh i don't know i'm not into violence but i love celebrity yeah i don't know who's going you don't know i i would guess uh action bronson will be there he's a new york guy cool yeah i love him

um robert de niro al pacino al pacino martin scorsedia's laying low i just read about him on tmz what's that he do

lost big in a civil trial to who

uh an ex-assistant oh robert de niro right yeah i saw the the New York Post headline.

Oh, he did.

He kept asking her for like sexy back rubs.

She said, my back's itchy.

Scratch my back.

Yeah.

There's no big difference between a sexy back rub and an itch.

Hey.

Hey,

my fucking back itches.

You know, something like that.

Itching is not sexual, but a rub is sexual.

It depends, man.

What if he's an itch fetishist?

That's going to be you one day.

Allegation I heard was that it was a fucking itchy situation.

Really?

Scratching.

Scratch my back like that.

Honestly, this is the first time I've heard in the media.

That's so crazy to be like, because you've seen the Irishman.

You see, like, you know, how old Robert De Niro is.

It's like, I mean, we know that he just turned 80.

I know, but to be kidding.

But like, there's the age, but then there's also like just looking at the like the physicality of him.

Yeah.

Like just moving that way.

And like you're moving that way and you're still like, oh, pussy.

You're still like, is that, is that pussy over there?

Like, that's still a biological process that works.

You probably can't even fucking smell anything.

I'm barely doing that at 36.

I'm barely motivated by pussy at this point.

Yeah, I know.

I'm done.

Penis on the I'm literally done.

I just want to watch Track 3.

That's the only thing I care about.

Scent of a woman.

Yeah.

Hula.

You like that movie?

I mean, I remember like...

He's blind, right?

Yeah, he's blind.

He sniffs her.

Sniffs her.

Yeah.

The way pussy be smelled.

Now, Al Pascino is 80 years old.

That was the original title of that movie.

It was called

The Way Pussy Be Smelling Sometimes.

I like that, man.

That's good.

Really?

It's true.

You know what's also true?

This is true.

That Pussin Boots, because they don't have that story in Israel, like they don't have the Pussin Boots story, that they released.

Propaganda was probably.

Well, they released Pussin' Boots in Israel as Shrek's Cat.

That's the name of the movie.

I thought that would be a fun anecdote.

Whatever.

Sorry.

I'm not kidding.

Sorry for bringing up Israel again, but there's important stuff going on in the world.

Well, I thought it was going to be way worse, what you were about to say.

Yeah.

Trek's Cat, that's neutral.

What?

That's not bad for Israel.

It's pretty funny.

For the boys.

You know what?

Also,

Patriots Day,

the Boston bombing movie.

That was released in Germany as just Boston.

You can look it up.

Yeah, they just released it as Boston.

Okay, so what is like the really fucking dope-ass TV show?

Right now?

The Nick was sick.

I don't even care if it's current, but just like fucking fire ass TV.

Do you want like a deep cut that?

Because I mean, obviously, you can be like, oh, the Sopranos or Fire Ass.

No, no, no, no.

Terriers.

Terriers is probably the most underrated show people don't know.

What's that?

It went one season, it got canceled.

It was on, like,

I don't know if it was on AMC or

FX.

No, no, no, no.

It's Donald Logue and this other guy.

But it was like a neo-noir thing about Donald Logue plays like a, like a, like a detective, basically, like a crime.

Grounded for life, yes, that guy.

Yeah, it's a show called Terrier.

Terriers is like my all-time.

This is a show that was fucking amazing and it got unfairly canceled, and people don't know about it.

What's your favorite TV?

Jackass is mine.

Wild Boy's actually the number one jackass.

I mean, they're both great.

It's like perfect entertainment.

Dude,

I don't know if television will ever get better than Don't Fuck with Cats.

What is it?

A show?

Yeah,

it's on Netflix.

Really?

What is it about abusing animals?

It's no, that's fuck with cats.

Oh, that's a different.

Yeah, that's the one where they just killed.

Don't fuck with cats is just like the most.

I mean, dude, consider yourself extremely lucky that you haven't seen it.

Oh, because so I could watch it through Virgin Eyes for the first time.

Yeah.

I wish that like the movie Men in Black, you know, where they're like, they hold the thing and then they erase your memory.

It was so surprising.

That's pretty cool.

That just happens to you as you get older.

There are a lot of traumas I wish I could have.

My grandma got men in black now.

Now she just,

yeah, she screams all the time and her pelvis breaks and she gets sexy.

Doggedly jokes.

Yeah, she's just constantly screaming in fear.

And I'm like, yeah, my grandma's doing men in black.

I wish that I could have that fucking thing boom so that I could watch this show.

Really?

Who made it?

What is it?

Just it's like an animal documentary.

Well, it's like some asshole

was cruel to cats and put the video online people were

outraged they were pissed they're like who the is this asshole and like and and they were just internet sleuths studying every like oh i think i remember this yeah and then like

they're just the internet sleuths are out to get him and the closer they get to him the more they realize that like

it's even gnarlier than they thought.

And then the more they like get into it.

And then all of a sudden, like, wow,

this is like the worst person ever.

And, like, he has to be stopped.

And, uh, and he just fucked up because the internet slash got him.

And they killed him, or what?

I don't want to ruin it for you.

Don't ruin it.

I don't want to ruin it for you.

I'm going to tell you that.

I'm just going to say that when

the, I think it's like three-part series.

Like a mini-series.

Docu series.

Docu.

I don't really care.

I started watching that.

The Apple's got a new Errol Morris.

What's it about?

On John McCarry.

Oh, shit.

I told my girl when this series ended, I said,

it's an unpopular thing to say, but if

more cats had to be brutalized for there to be another show this good,

like, I'm okay with that.

Because it was that good.

That show is that fucking.

But it's old, right?

that came out

i'm not out here trying to like toot netflix's horn believe me yeah

you know netflix has not done shit for me really yeah netflix putting out your new special yeah no one would interpret it that way i mean

netflix is like one outlet it's like one of the four outlets for entertainment it's not like recommending something netflix is not putting out my new special who's putting it out i i am i'm putting it out uh at stevo.com through a company called moment

You're doing like a Louis C.K.

like paid directly.

Yeah.

It's funny that people say that, not like a, they don't call it a radiohead thing.

Radiohead radiohead invented it.

Yeah.

Louis did $5, I think.

Yeah.

Well, how much does this cost?

I mean, it goes down to $5.

I think like right when it comes out, it's worth more.

I risked my fucking life big time for this special dude.

What happened?

Like I had fucking doctors stealing drugs from the hospital, like general anesthesia drugs, and administer them into my vein while I'm riding a fucking bicycle.

Really?

Yeah.

Is that breaking sobriety, in your opinion, or no?

It's a good question.

It's a good question.

I

felt comfortable doing that because I've had a lot of general anesthesia in sobriety and I didn't relapse.

Can I ask you, when you guys come up with all like the pranks, do you have a writer's room or is it just you guys coming up?

Oh, okay.

Because it'd be very funny if it was like a typical writer's room.

Yeah, there's an old Jewish.

Yeah, you're writing.

What if you put your balls into a toaster?

We're going to have a seaside.

I've had an idea.

I've never seen this.

Are there peanuts in this?

Because I can't have it.

But here's an idea.

Dude, I'd like to boss the toaster.

That would be good.

Yeah, yeah.

You guys haven't thought of that?

No, but.

Tell them Nick.

It was Nick's idea.

Yeah.

I did

think of peeing on a toaster.

Really?

It's like plugged in.

To see if the electricity would go up the stream.

Yeah, and I reached out to

my buddy from Mythbusters.

You're friends with that guy?

I know.

Wasn't one of them a pedophile?

No, I don't know about that.

I never heard about that.

No, no, one of them got canceled, but I don't know if he's a pedophile.

That was they just look like pedophiles, but one of them did get like me too'd.

They do.

I'm sorry.

I know he's your friend, but like, come on.

If you, if you saw that, if you, if no one knew what MythBusters was, and you were like, these guys have a show, you'd be like, oh, do they have sex with children on the show?

You have to say no.

They They bust me.

The only myth that they, the first episode, they try to bust the myth of the age of consent.

The age of consent.

Yeah.

The first one.

Yeah.

They were like, it's actually has.

Yeah.

Did you know

there was a girl in Guatemala that hit puberty in kindergarten?

So it's actually.

No, a five-year-old got pregnant once.

There is a five.

You told me that, no?

I did not tell you.

Someone told me that.

Don't fight.

Don't even try.

Someone said that they saw on Wikipedia.

A five-year-old in like South America got pregnant.

Yeah.

it was Steve.

Steve told him.

Yeah.

You haven't told me that.

My buddy.

Oh, yeah.

Go ahead.

Which one?

The Walrus guy or the other one?

Jamie or the?

No, neither of those guys.

Oh, it's been a while.

Are there two guys?

You got fucking scammed like that girl.

Yeah.

Some guys are like, come spend the weekend with us for the Mythbusters.

I think you're talking about the Property Brothers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, this guy was featured in the most recent Jackass movie.

He was there when we lit the fart fart underneath the water and there was like the big explosion.

And that's how I got to know him.

Like we hit it off and exchanged phone numbers and then I reached out asking about peeing on a toaster.

And he said, if the toaster is actually legitimately plugged into the wall, that could be really bad news.

Like, please don't fuck with that.

He said, however, I will personally rig it up so that it's not too gnarly where you're going to be electrocuted, but that, but like, I'll make sure that you get a fucking good fucking whack of electricity to your dick oh i think what did anthony fauci was the guy they just put it into a car battery or something how did i don't know he was talking about he can break it up or if i cheat on it it'll like like really but but it won't be like so it's fake you're talking about jackass not fake not fake cheating

like i get i'll get shocked

but i won't get killed oh okay yeah it's not fake it's just uh

i'm just kidding you're my hero i always said you guys should learn how to like play like a piece of classical music on the piano with your penis.

That would be like a cool like Chopin if you could do that.

Like learn it.

But also tell them it was Nick's idea.

Yeah, but you take years to do it.

To do a nocturne with your penis.

Yeah, to do Fantasia with your penis.

I got to say, as a kid,

you throwing up a goldfish.

Moment, probably in our generation of boys' lives.

I mean, nothing's funnier than jackass.

That's kind of the thing that sucks about it.

That's Best thing ever.

I did.

You know, I just recorded a special.

I have to watch it now and edit it.

I hate it.

Stand up fucking sucks.

I hate it.

Yeah, it's not.

Nothing will ever be as funny as Jackass.

I think Memorat and Jackass 2 are the two funniest people.

It's just in terms of laughing.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Even the last time I watched it and I was like, maybe I was just a kid and I was an idiot.

I was dying laughing the whole time.

I'm like, yeah, fuck comic.

It comes from your soul, right?

Just seeing a man hurt himself.

Yeah, right.

There's something like so human about it.

I'll stop talking.

I'm good, dude.

I love it.

You think it's true or no?

Everything's killer man.

Yeah, dude, pull up a photo of Yuri Prohaska.

Oh, this sexy guy that you have a crush on?

Yuri Prohaska.

Yeah, Yuri.

Why were you Googling that?

You've said nothing this entire time, and you're like, Let me look up this child's pussy.

Your manager,

my executive assistant.

Yuri Prohas.

Would you want me to type in Yuri Prohasca?

Penis executive assistant, like your Fortune 500 CEO.

Okay, dude, get the fuck out of here.

See what I'm talking about?

That's not my style, dude.

That's not my style of guy.

What do you think, dude?

What am I looking at here?

That looks like Thomas.

Doesn't it look like Thomas?

Yeah.

Yeah, he looks like a very serious guy.

My style of guy is more like mustache, a little bit long hair, red baseball cap, backwards.

Mine's Kake from

Tom Finland.

The motorcycle guy from Tom and Finland.

Come on.

Get the fuck out of here.

That's the kind of guy you like, dude.

He's whack-tasting, guys.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're not gay, dude.

You've been faking.

Yeah, you're fake, gay, dude.

You've been faking.

You didn't put the work in.

Chris Pontius is more handsome than that.

He's a handsome guy.

Pontius?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's a good-looking guy.

Well, you disagree?

I cannot disagree.

There's beef.

I sense beef.

Yeah.

What happened?

So you're trying to tell me I'll give you one more shot at this.

You don't think that's-I don't like his lumpy titties.

I don't like his stupid genie haircut.

No, yeah.

Honestly, I'll kick his ass.

I'll beat his motherfucking ass.

If he looks at me sideways,

yeah, well, God, look at his gorgeous fucking cauliflower ears, dude.

So jealous of that.

That guy looks...

See those ears?

That looks like every

ear is

hits.

He's nothing.

That's the most generic looking person I've ever seen.

Yeah.

All right.

Well,

my money's on him, dude.

There's no Pontius.

That's true.

Why'd you delay when we said that he was handsome?

You're like, was scumbag Vinny pulled some shit between the wild boys?

He cheated on Vinny cheated on you and Chris Pony.

Vinny fucked Chris and you found him.

And he swore it was over.

Yeah, he's like, it's not like that.

I just need to get

mine.

Pontius is aging fucking really, really well, too.

Yeah, yeah.

He seems so healthy.

He's crumbling and fucking Pontius is just who's the healthiest member of the crew?

Or you have vegans in the crew?

I'm aging terribly.

I'm starting to look like an aunt.

You're a piece of ass.

Don't worry.

I can feel it.

We're incredible looking, though.

He's better looking.

Doesn't matter.

I have a better personality.

Yeah, dude.

Pontius is fucking really aging well.

I don't know if he's the healthiest per se.

I know it's Noxos just tirelessly going to the gym and working out and like

all I ever hear is Noxos.

I'm out at the gym.

I'm just like

I'm at the gym.

Did he tell you the plot of the ringer before he made it?

No.

Was anyone like, oh, that's...

Don't you're that's you're really going out there.

I always thought it would be cool to do a movie that's like the reverse like a guy with Down syndrome sneaks his way into the the regular Olympics as a Chinese

national.

Yeah, he's doing it.

But they don't realize he's just a white guy and he's not actually Chinese.

Yeah.

That'd be funny.

Yeah.

Maybe he could do that at the ringer too.

Oh, if they could make the ringer.

It's a white guy with Down syndrome that pretends to be a Chinese guy.

I don't think that they could make the ringer now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the best old guy thing to say about anything.

Yeah, they can't.

You can't make that now.

You can't rape a gal.

Yeah, yeah.

You couldn't make any change.

I tell you, you couldn't make the snuff film from 8mm these days.

You can't have a sexual murder movie anymore.

And buy it on the map.

Yeah, you couldn't get away with Epstein's Island these days, I tell you.

That was more of a 2006.

Yeah.

You missed.

You went to Epstein's Island or no?

No.

That's surprising, honestly.

I feel like I was going to be heartbroken to find out Steve-O was on flight loss.

That would break my heart.

Because you're the kind of guy they would go after.

Like, you're the kind of guy that would be like, we need Steve-O's name.

You have cultural impact.

Yeah.

You speak to youth.

Yeah.

Did they invite you ever?

Did you ever get that, like, hey, there's this guy, Jeff.

He's cool.

You got to meet this guy, Jeff.

No.

No?

All right.

All right.

Because Chris Tucker is all over those.

It really broke my heart.

And he was, yeah, like, you can't watch Rush Hour.

Rush hour.

Rush hour and Jackass are in the same, like, that's the same timeframe, you know, when you guys were both both at the peak of culture.

I would say, if I think about my life, it's defined by three things: Rush Hour 2, Jackass, and 9-11.

Yeah.

And the towers coming down.

The big three.

The big three.

Yeah.

Wow.

And,

you know, I don't know.

Yeah, Chris Tucker loved that island.

I'm just glad no one in your crew went there.

Yeah.

Yep.

Sounds like someone did.

Someone did, definitely.

We man?

Vinny.

And he didn't bring him.

Yeah, Vinny.

Vinny.

Vinny left him at home.

Can you please put Vinny in the next jackass movie?

That'd be awesome.

If there was a next jackass movie,

there would be no hurt.

Are you guys going to hand the baton off to a younger generation of people that want to hurt themselves?

I don't.

I went to elementary school with Rachel.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

In Vegas.

Sick.

Sorry, you checked it out.

You're in love with Vinny.

Do you want to go?

Are you done?

Did you have a bad time?

It's okay.

I'm not even going to say I had a bad time.

That means yes.

You're just not going to say it.

It's okay.

Dude, this podcast sucks.

You're really annoying us.

You absolutely did not offend me.

I'm SIVO, and

this is breaking up with Vinnie Beaver.

Offense isn't the issue.

It's just being bored.

No, no, I'm chilling.

I'm good, man.

So my executive assistant, Isaac, gave me the heads up about how you clowns operate.

What did he say?

He's like, hey, this sucks.

He said, Hey, heads up.

That's all Isaac said.

Isaac was talking out of his ass about us.

He's like, Hey, keep my name out of your fucking mouth.

Yeah.

He said, Hey, I just want to give you the heads up.

You know, these guys, like,

you know,

they'll probably come at you with some.

We're not coming at you.

We're not coming at you.

He said they might.

He said, He said that you might come at me.

Why do you fucking say this?

Why would you extremely?

Stevo, you're

you.

You're a beloved cultural.

You know, my life.

You love it.

I love that.

We love you.

I don't know why.

We liken you to Oliver Tree.

You know, like Oliver Tree.

I thought

trolling.

No, no, no.

We don't even know what that is.

We thought

it's all Keith.

Look, we thought that you might be upset because you thought this was the Adam Friedland Show, and then you realize it was the Adam Friedland Show podcast, which is, which is dog shit.

We hate podcasting.

We don't like doing it.

So we thought, we thought, I thought I was reading it as maybe you were upset thinking this was going to be the regular talk show.

All right.

Yeah.

So I thought maybe we wasted your time this whole time.

I mean, here's the thing, dude.

No, it would never come out.

Jokes about you and Vinny.

Dude, I'm in love.

I'm honored to be a part of your show, man.

No, Jackass.

That commentary on Jackass is it truly is funnier than it's the funniest thing of all time.

Yeah.

Thank you, Doc.

And it holds up, and I can go back and watch them, and it still makes me laugh.

And it makes me hate myself.

Check this out.

Yeah.

On Paramount Plus,

which I will not be checking.

I have

you lost me,

I don't see Paramount Plus is a streaming service, which I don't subscribe to,

but I have

been made aware that if you are on Paramount Plus and select

an episode of the original Jackass TV show, it starts off with a warning.

It says this program is

like in its original,

like say has not been changed since when it came out during a time with outdated social norms yeah starts out with an apology yeah for like suggesting that that uh that it hasn't aged well and i don't know there's nothing there's nothing in jackass that's culturally insensitive exactly people are hurting paramount plus can suck a fart out of my asshole yeah yeah because there's stuff that they do they would do that for where like it's just misinterpreted and it would be dumb.

It's not staged very well.

But yeah, there's nothing in jackass.

It's the funniest thing ever.

It's pure and it's visceral.

Yeah.

Which is

kind of wholesome.

It should be your goal as a comedian to aim for that.

I mean, it is, it is.

It's

the, it's really, it's the physical version of Brian Regan.

If that's what I'm saying,

it's, you can show it to people in a village in Africa or in China, and everyone would find it funny.

Right.

Because hurting your penis is the universal comedy.

Seeing a baby alligator bite.

I mean, the fact that alligators even come that tiny is already funny.

When Ponas did the penis puppet show and snake, you could go into like an Amazonian tribe in the deep Amazon and show them that.

And they'd be like, what is this sorcery?

And then you'd say, get over his TV.

Of all the things I've ever shared with my dad, I've never seen my dad cry laughing at two things, jackass and honestly, yeah, borat.

Those two things.

Same.

Yeah, same.

That's it.

You brought us close to the bus.

And he said,

my dad.

Is a miserable man.

And just to know that that brought him happiness.

I'm a professional comedian.

Anything I've ever shown him that I've done, he's been like, oh, you know, you know, good for you.

Yeah.

That's it.

Can I, before we wrap up, I just can I ask you one question?

Yeah, dude.

Why do you have your executive assistant dressed like Sharon Stone in a powerful 90s lady business?

Yeah, why is he wearing?

Why is she working?

Why do you make her make her parade around him?

Parade around the office?

Dress like a

like a yeah this is exactly this is exactly the bullshit he warned he said we're gonna be

doing

yeah you need to take your power back who did you compare us to oliver twist what was that name i have no idea

who the did you say olive they're just like oliver what was his name tool

oliver tool exactly i don't know what he's he's a very successful musician

who doesn't take himself very seriously.

And he has a podcast where he brings people on.

He's like, nice glasses, Homo.

He goes on other things.

I imagine he's German.

Yeah, Steve-Oh, he's got nice, you know, cool glasses.

He actually happens to be like one of my best friends.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

So he doesn't fucking pull any of that bullshit with me.

Has anyone pulled bullshit on me?

We haven't pulled bullshit.

We're honored.

We're yet.

Yeah, dude, likewise.

I'm good.

have to have to be likewise.

You can say you can have a lot of time.

You can say you're bored.

You got a bad guy.

I'm good, dude.

We want to take you on a Staten Island Ferry so you can have a real New York night.

Yeah.

I would love it.

We'll dress you up like a WAP so people just think you're a guy from Staten Island.

And then I'll be Woppy.

I'm going to be Jack and Rose with you on the Staten Island Ferry.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack and Rose.

That's sick.

I never heard about it.

Pick which one you want to be.

I'm hoping I'm Rose.

I'm going to be Billy Zayn, dude.

I'm going to kidnap someone's daughter and run around.

Be like just running away from the police.

She's the only thing I have.

All right.

Oh, shit.

That was his way of trying to get on the fucking life rack.

Yeah, he steals some guy's stuff.

Yeah, really.

Please, she's the only thing I have.

I love that character in that movie.

Ily Zane, the cook.

That guy is awesome.

Yeah.

He's like, I refuse to allow you to get any more of my wife's pussy.

He's like, this is the last straw.

You fucked my wife too many times.

It's one boat trip.

Darren, can you imagine going on a cruise and your wife just some guy like you catch her six times

she keeps some poor piece of irish

this is beyond the pale over and over again

all right steve all right dude oh yeah man i love you too guys yeah hey everybody we're honored yeah check out my bucket list special at steamo.com yes please check it out.com definitely check it out thank you so much for being here yeah really appreciate thanks for doing the ad reads for us Hey, man.

That was a nice, cool breeze vacation.

I feel like I was drinking a Corona on a beach.

I didn't get behind the gambling.

You did?

Are you a gambler?

No, no, no.

I just.

Oh, you have overlap with those other products.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.