The Adam Friedland Show Podcast – Episode 13

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Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show podcast.

How is everyone doing?

Clap, clap, clap.

We're live here in the studio.

I love it.

We're live here in the studio, me and Nick.

Today is Wednesday.

Today is Wednesday.

July 22,

2023.

My father's birthday.

It's Adam's dad's birthday.

There's a lot of stuff going on in the news.

A lot of stuff.

If you are a Patreon subscriber, you'll notice that the Monday episode was missing.

We recorded an episode and there was some trouble with that and then we went to re-record and then there was trouble with that one as well.

But Ginsburg is working to create a

like some sort of Frankenstein amalgam of...

Frankenstein's Monster.

Frankenstein's Monster amalgam of those two episodes.

And Ginsburg, you said that's done now?

I just gotta put some subtitles

I guess there's subtitles, and then if Adam signs off on it, then that will be uploaded to the Patreon for your viewing pleasure.

And if you're not a Patreon subscriber,

if you enjoy the Adam Friedland Show Talk Show, I know the podcast people are not particularly fans of due to

the ratings couldn't be lower.

Rina Sawiyama's

is that her name?

Rina Sawayama's

takedown of the show.

We've seen a dramatic fall off in our number one demo, which is

AIPI Goths.

Goths.

Yeah, Goth Asians.

Which they're due for a comeback.

I'd like to see that.

They have to.

They have to.

But the problem is, is that

they had a brief period before they were taken over by the fast and the furious Koreans.

Yes, I think there was a moment where the Venn diagram met.

And when I was in high school, all the Koreans had like devil locks and breakdanced and had integros.

Yeah, they were all they were like goths with integras.

Yeah, yeah.

So it'll be up.

But if you're not subscribed to the Patreon, if you enjoy the Adam Friedland Show Talk Show, which is the centerpiece of this project and the reason we have to do a podcast and all this stuff,

is

yeah,

please subscribe because that helps fund the show.

As you can see with the strikes going on, money in the arts is

not dwindling.

It's just going straight to the top.

So this is

independent production, which means we don't have, you know, we don't, we don't have, if somehow we could produce this show and finance it by...

sending people all of their packages with free shipping and had

a multi-national logistics operation that brought in trillions of dollars a year, then we would be fine.

But we don't have that unfortunately.

So it requires support from viewers like you, the show

creatively, I'm very satisfied with it.

I think it gets better and better.

I feel as simple.

But but yeah, I mean there is a question of resources.

First and foremost, time.

And that was the thing we struggled with, which is why we decided to just do a podcast and release the episodes once we have time to finesse them and not be held to

a bi-weekly deadline,

which was tough

to not cut corners here and there where we would prefer not to.

But now, increasingly,

money is the limited resource,

like all things in life.

I guess.

Correct.

So yeah, hopefully we'll have that episode out today.

Also, another thing we should start doing is just, even though they may be public, just posting everything on the Patreon so it's in one place.

Yeah, so it's like one feed.

Yeah.

There's also, too,

there's,

if you're a new fan of the Adam Fruitler, perhaps you saw Chris Cuomo and Neil deGrasse Tyson or Jadakiss, you enjoyed those episodes.

Early on, I guess, Patreon launched

video hosting.

So there's a couple of episodes that are only on the Patreon, and we don't know how to download them to put them on YouTube.

There's also the Vimeo account, which I was duped into posting on.

I remember, yeah, the first one we posted on Vimeo.

Yeah, and then Vimeo limits you to like 10 views, and then they start charging you thousands of dollars.

If anybody else watches, well, 10 views is high for an NYU Tisch

thesis project.

Yeah, yeah.

But we need to figure out before that expires how to get those episodes off there.

Probably the Simon Rex or the Mac DeMarco

episode.

I didn't realize that

having Dracula

come

on the show and announce that

he could book Jadakiss, nobody gets that because that was set up in the Mac DeMarco episode.

Yeah, all of our new fans, which most of you at this point are new fans, we've we've lost touch with and we disavow all of our old fans.

I mean, I think for the record, we disavow each and every one of them.

But all of our new fans do not understand that Dracula

played an integral part in the narrative of the Adam Freedlung Show.

So hopefully, and then

we got the Cometown YouTube guy on board, so he's helping us fix all the YouTube stuff.

So hopefully

we can get everything kind of in one place.

Because that's the thing I didn't really give a fuck about for a long time.

YouTube.

YouTube or naming the episodes or putting any effort into it whatsoever.

Yeah, that's true.

But now that there's a story, you want it to make sense.

Correct.

And also in light of all the strikes and the way that corporate media is treating the artist,

I just want to make clear that there is no amount of money,

and absolutely no amount of money that we could be offered by a streamer or perhaps a benevolent dictator somewhere in the Middle East.

You mean Netanyahu?

Netanyahu.

We will never say that.

26, 2023, and Benjamin Netanyahu has gone netanyolo.

Yeah, that's true.

In his recent pursuit of...

He's wilding out, I believe, is the term.

Yeah.

And I was completely...

You know what's very funny if you Google Israel?

Because I just want to see what was going on.

I don't really, I honestly don't know much about their

how their government's structured, you know, because they don't have a constitution.

It's the Torah.

Yeah.

so you can, I guess you could just, you get a majority.

It's surprising, it took 75 years for it to happen, but you can just get a majority and pass a law saying, like,

oh yeah, the executive branch can do whatever it wants.

Well, they don't have an executive branch.

He is the head of a coalition system.

He's the head of the parliamentary system.

So he's the head of a coalition.

Gotcha.

So but they can just pass a law saying we can do whatever we want and the court's not allowed to.

I don't know about their judicial system or like

the issue.

I think that, yeah, now he's trying to just say that

there's no judiciary anymore.

Yeah, yeah, they don't have oversight over

decisions that are being made by the coalition.

It's tough to do.

Namely, like appointing people to government positions.

There's some guy they appointed that's like he's been convicted of terrorism and hate crimes.

And

they gave him a job.

Well, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

I guess.

Something like that.

But yeah, no, the only point I was making is I tried googling it to see what was going on.

What came up?

A bunch of articles about how Israel's credit rating has been downgraded.

Which it's...

It is

a dark time for me.

Yeah.

Even the banks are mad?

On my dad's birthday, no less.

Yeah, right.

I can't believe it.

I mean, I was completely on board with this whole Israel thing until they

treaded on the judiciary.

I can't you know

I didn't I thought I was a shining beacon of democracy until until this one.

This is beyond the pale.

Mm-hmm.

What do you think?

You think it gets worse?

You think it's gonna be pretty bad?

What I think is I don't fucking care.

You don't care?

I really I was my father and I for the first time ever on Monday night, we sat down and had a bot.

There was a bot, we had a bottle on the table and we got drunk.

And there was a moment in the night where I was screaming, I don't care about Israel.

Which is a very

embarrassing and retrospect moment.

But

does it get worse?

I don't know.

What's worse than an apartheid?

You know, the credit rating.

I guess like a full-blown

dictatorship?

Yeah.

Oh, so the people doing the apartheid also can't vote?

I mean, there's a lot of like...

So the Afric Connors now can't vote on it.

There's a lot of like left-wing Israelis that are like, yeah, we shouldn't do apartheid.

Now they're turning the hoses on those guys, too.

I think those people are just basically doing burning man.

They're not really doing much.

Okay.

Yeah.

They're like doing...

Yeah, they're doing like

they're listening to infected mushroom

and

ignoring the apartheid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Many of whom are in my family, so I'm sorry if I've offended anyone.

Yeah, I don't understand how that guy is still around,

Netanyahu.

Yeah, apparently he went, he got like, he had a pacemaker put in, and then two hours later, he pulled like a Teddy Roosevelt, and he showed up for a vote.

So badass.

Yeah.

Americans like him because he speaks English with an American accent.

Yeah.

So they're like, we're going to give more money to his apartheid.

Yeah.

Also in the news, I guess you told me this.

I mean, I think, I thought Trump had a court date set for like November or something ridiculous.

They gave a very short time frame to prepare this case.

I think they moved it to May 20 during the election.

Yeah.

But they say the judge is a conservative.

I don't fucking know.

Yeah.

Is he going to jail?

Actually?

I don't know, man.

That's like a tricky issue, right?

If you have, you can't, like, if he's the nominee in May, you can't that trial happen.

It would be so sick if we had

a completely brain-dead guy and then live via satellite, a guy in jail running for president.

It would be so awesome.

I think they should just get

like a psycho to assassinate him.

Like

the capacity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, they've been doing that for a decade.

I know, but they should make it should be clear.

It should be a certain

guy

that

you know who it should be.

Oh my god.

Soder said RFK Jr.

He said that's who he's going to kill.

You think he's going to kill him?

That would be funny.

That would be like.

We're talking about a guy we both know.

We both know.

I've had a theory for years that he's being set up as a Patsy.

He is.

Yeah.

He's Manson.

No, he's.

He's a less effective man.

Yeah,

he's not Manson.

He's the loser.

Yeah, he's like lee harvey oswald

alienated

on the fringes yeah

bitter bitter the the entire psychological profile is there yeah right he's he's gonna kill

he's gonna either kill trump or rfk jr

he's too much of a loser even to get that to pull that off after january 6th i feel like because you have all these people that are like cheering on these convictions or whatever

you would need like one right-wing protest where they're just literally peacefully demonstrating but you a lot of them and then send the cops in and kill somebody you know when they're just civil war no not civil war but if you can do that if you could have a big right you could you could provoke some kind of big right-wing protest and then send cops in to just like can't state them and then get fucking rachel mad out to be like this is good yeah this is justice yeah these are the people that the cops should be killing the cops are batmen though then after that i think you could get your CIA Patsy to kill Donald Trump, not have to worry about it.

Because then you could just bring out the troops.

You could just, you know, if there is any kind of protest, just, you know,

kill all, just murder Lauren Boebert and,

you know, in the streets at that bowling hour.

It would be so cool if he assassinated someone.

Yeah.

It would be the funniest thing that's ever happened.

Uh-huh.

This guy we know.

This guy we know, yeah.

It would be.

I've said for years, I think that's that's how it ends.

That's how it ends for sure.

But I saw a mutual friend in

Detroit, and he was like, What?

Is he going to kill himself?

I'm like, absolutely not.

He's going to kill RFK Jr.

But why would RFK?

Well, I know I understand for like why.

Because he's a Kennedy.

Yeah, they all die.

It's very funny that that's the one that they let live.

Well, Ted also.

Ted, Ted.

Yeah, but they had like a little

microwave tube pointed at his brain for 20 years.

They were like, let's try something different.

Let's not.

He's like Keith Richards did.

He probably just survived.

He just survived.

No, he got brain cancer.

Oh, Kennedy.

Yeah, yeah.

No, but this one,

this one is like...

Was he ever in elected office?

No, I don't think so.

He just wrote books about the vaccines?

Yeah, he's mad about it.

Him and De Niro used to get mad about the vaccines.

And his wife killed killed herself because he wouldn't stop cheating.

Yeah.

Apparently she pulled the Elliott Smith card

where she was like,

no, she was like, this is because of you.

That is the most alpha move of all time, what Elliott Smith did.

To blame it on somebody?

Like,

people say that he didn't kill himself.

Yes, to blame it.

But people say he didn't kill himself because you can't stab yourself twice.

You wouldn't even have enough purchase on a knife to like break the breastplate.

But to leave a note that says, Yeah, it's your fault,

that is

like self-immolating is the coolest way.

I know, you love that.

Buddhism style.

Yeah, well, I always thought it was funny that the most famous guy burned himself, presumably for some reason.

Yeah.

And now people just know him as

a rage dimensional machine guy.

You're going to kill yourself, and then you're just like,

you're an album cover.

I used to think that Che Guevara was

like.

I bought a Che Guevara t-shirt in Mexico with my parents, and I thought it was a Rage Against the Machine t-shirt when I was like, when I was 13 or something.

Yeah.

Zapata, too.

That's also a Rage Against the Machine Guy.

Yeah.

Yeah, so that's going on.

There's other stuff in the news.

People seem to be really upset about climate change again.

Yeah.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't don't watch MSNBC.

It's very hot in America right now.

It's very hot.

But remember that New York Times magazine feature?

Yeah, we were on the beach.

I was reading it.

I gave it.

We were not on the beach.

You were with Brandon Wardell on the beach?

No,

at the time I had a Times print subscription.

I read it and we talked about it.

We talked about it.

Okay.

But

yeah, that was like that came out and everyone's like, oh, it's too late.

The world's ending.

And I don't think that's changed, but people stopped caring, naturally.

There just wasn't new Matty news.

Life goes on, right.

Yeah, you got to think about Matty Healy.

And then now something's going on.

Is it just the heat wave?

Is that why people are up?

I think the southwest is like 120 degrees.

Yeah, people are upset about climate change again.

But a lot of thunderstorms.

Honestly, I think that's kind of nice.

I love thunderstorms.

Yeah.

But no,

I think that wasn't that article about the fact that they knew in the late 70s when they deliberately chose not to do anything.

Yeah.

But not that it's too late.

I think it's too late.

Isn't it too late?

Yeah.

What I've heard is that if we get to zero carbon emissions today,

it'll take 10 years for the changes to stop, and then those changes are irreparable.

Oh, you can't reverse it.

Yeah, you can't reverse climate change.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What What do we do?

I don't care.

We gotta do that.

I mean, I mean, like, not even, like, about climate change.

I mean, these are such big things that it's like, there's no, there's just no reason to care or put any.

You can't do anything.

Yeah.

I'm gonna stop China from polluting.

It's not gonna happen.

Yeah.

We can't do it with our art or something?

No.

I don't think so.

Yeah, no.

That has no power whatsoever.

Dude, it's so cool.

They won't stop spitting and polluting.

The Chinese?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's really cool of them.

Yeah.

So yeah, climate change is also in the news.

Okay, so

we've covered that a little bit.

Rudy Giuliani admitted to lying about the election fraud.

What did he say?

He said the election fraud in Georgia.

He said that it came out that he admitted under oath to

lying.

What did he say?

I lied about it?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Something like that.

I don't give a fuck about the election either.

I don't either.

It's kind of the problem with covering the news, I don't give a fuck about any of the.

Yeah,

I know.

The news is gay.

Yeah.

But what else?

What other?

Really, I've just been playing Zelda.

I don't.

It's good?

Yeah.

I gotta.

I gotta get

back into exercising and taking care of myself.

I need to.

There's not going to be any time to take any kind of like break for

ever

from

touring and working on the ship.

You can just say that you're taking a break.

From what?

You can just tell your agents not to believe.

No, I mean, my calendar's filled up for...

For the rest of the year.

Yeah, for a while.

Oh, plug your days.

Oh, yeah.

I'll be in Chicago next weekend.

Please come out to that.

And then, finally, in Denver, I'm going to try and shoot this.

I'll shoot an hour, hand it to Steven.

He'll edit it.

We'll watch it.

If it's not dog shit, I'll put it on YouTube.

And I only have like 30,000 YouTube subscriptions.

So I don't know how that'll play.

But yeah, hopefully that leads to...

more ticket sales

if it does you know do theaters the move everybody seems to be doing I I always feel like anytime I see other people doing stuff it's like okay well it's got the ship has to have sailed on that it's too late yeah because coming out of the pandemic I mean I was supposed to go on tour when the pandemic started and then that got canceled and I was like oh stand-up comedy's dead now and then

and then that was the wrong take like it's yeah there's more

alive than ever there's more money in it now than ever but I keep thinking it's like okay well if I put something that it'll have to be over by that time.

And then,

but after,

yeah, I tried to buy tickets to the Barbie movie, and it sold out for like three weeks.

I mean, it's like impossible to see this.

Yeah, I couldn't get tickets to Oppenheimer yesterday.

So I saw Mission Impossible.

Well, yeah, it's like it must be that

I don't know.

I mean, I guess now, like, you know, people say, oh, the pandemic's over.

I think people actually feel that now.

Sort of across the board.

Like, really, you go around New York, you don't really see people wearing masks.

or at all yeah that's done and then this neighborhood this is where that was like the the craziest in flatiron

flatiron in chelsea i remember going to the fucking waverly diner like uh the end of 2020 or something it was like fall of 2020

and i walked in i had a mask on because you have to wear a mask everywhere And I walk in and there's some guy who like startles.

He was like picking up food and he startles back because I'm like three feet away from him.

and he's like six feet six feet He starts yelling that at me and I'm like

What

then don't leave your apartment.

I mean if it's that if you're really that worried don't leave your apartment.

Yeah, I was uh I was walking my dog I remember like peak of COVID not wearing a mask outside and I remember there was this like ancient Jewish couple and they like saw me without a mask and they put their groceries in front of their faces and they're like no

no

Yeah, even those people I think stopped they stopped.

Yeah, or they died, which...

Yeah,

I think it did kill every old person, right?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The bioweapon from Netanyahu.

Yeah.

Ukraine war is done.

People don't really give a fuck about that anymore.

Is that true?

I guess they have some kind of counter-offensive, and they've been talking that up for a while.

And then that's like, it seems like it's just going to be this prolonged stalemate.

Yeah, so we keep selling weapons.

Yeah, right, exactly.

Yeah.

Just sell weapons them indefinitely but the the like um

enthusiasm is gone you know what i mean like

you don't see any more of those like uh slava ukraini

you only see it on russian owned businesses where they're clearly russian not ukrainian and they have a ukrainian flag on the

for what reason to trap them No, to tell people that

they're Ukrainian and they should come in and spend money.

To trap them trap who Ukrainian if you said it's a Russian business never mind Russian businesses in New York yeah all have Ukrainian flags on the on the windows thing I'll be right back too let me grab

we got an unboxing for you folks oh unboxing

oh this is exciting yeah

Oh guys, this is very exciting.

Now,

these are props.

These were made specifically for the show as a one-off as a prop.

But

Adam's friend, who runs both of our, I guess, merch

stores.

I don't know.

Incredibly active merch operations.

Yeah, I don't know.

I want to start making t-shirts again only because

it's kind of fun to do.

But I don't know if I really have the ability to do the numbers I used to so I'll have t-shirts on my own website somewhat soon but these

this we are about to launch official Adam Friedland show

merchandise all right we got some bubble wrap yeah

there you go here we go let's check it out guys

Adam Friedland show merchandise here

man I lost my

Swiss Army knife.

I had two of them, and I don't know where the fuck they went.

But it's crazy how dependent you become on those things.

I'm having trouble with the tape.

All right, let's see here.

So

these,

this is the official, this is the prop, and this is the

real one.

The merchandise.

As you can see, the art is,

you put it that way, so when it's on your desk, you know, you're left-handed.

Oh,

what am I doing at work?

I'm having a coffee and watching the Adam Friedland show.

This is actually a massive fuck-up.

Yeah, this actually looks terrible.

And they're left-handed.

They're left-handed, but also look at the quality.

The font is bad?

Honestly, this one should have been the prop and this one should have been the one we released.

Can we call them right now?

Yeah, tell...

Alright, I'm gonna call them.

Tell uh...

Call Max.

Yeah, tell him this is

a piece of shit.

Can you show this on camera, Dick?

It's actually really bad.

Wow.

Yeah, what we want is this logo over this way, right?

So you're right-handed.

Yeah, it's a logo.

Please leave your message for two zero

Max

it's it's like honestly

I I was like you why are you even sending it to us to us like I don't even fucking care

but we've but it's first of all it's a left-handed mug right

most people are in society are right-handed right so if you if you take a sip with your right hand it's a it's a it is blank

well it shows the people that it shows the rest of the

no

no no no no, no, no, no, no.

It's the other way around.

It only works that way from the from your left hand.

Also, the logo.

Nick, what's your feedback on this?

Yeah, I mean, I don't, like,

it's first of all, even looking at it right now, it's printed

like a skew.

It's on a diagonal.

Yeah, the font is also different.

It's this is like,

frankly, like, yeah, pretty bad quality.

So the left-handed thing, that's a stupid oversight.

That's an easy fix once I'm moneywork this down.

Yeah, I mean, I'm just looking at, because

we have the mugs that are used on stage as a prop.

And like the font, the font has no weight to it.

And the black area bleeds into the font.

I mean, yeah, it just looks...

Yeah, like here, Adam can just take a picture and send you send you this.

I'll take a picture.

The difference between

I have 10 more of these modes at the office.

I'll show you a picture.

Do you guys have

your logo without the like funky effects on the lettering?

Yeah, I mean what I sent over was a Photoshop file so it's all in layers.

So if you do me a favor and resend that

I don't know if I have that.

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Nice.

Yeah, we're on the show, we're doing the show right now, also.

Oh, did you drink out of that?

No, we haven't drank out of it.

It looks like off the mug on the right in the picture has like a coffee stain by the.

Oh, that's the one.

That's our mug.

Yeah, that's been stained for months.

That's the one for guests.

But we don't have a dishwasher or anything.

Yeah, so we wash in the toilet.

What, your, it looks like your mug has a handle on the same side as the one I sent you.

Yeah, this one is it's printed directly in front, which is stupid also.

No, it's stupid.

But Dave ordered those months ago.

Okay, so I could make it bigger.

I could tell them to make the black glossier.

It's not that the yeah, it's uh the the glossiness is one thing.

It's just I mean if you can you can look at the letters and they're just like it's not the same font at all.

It looks like it just somebody

within Helvetica just wrote the name of the show.

But the actual logo, there's the only file I had to send them was the logo with the blur or whatever on it.

And

I guess they uh

look, they're Chinese people that sell mugs for $1.99, you know, I think.

Yeah, well, I mean, Chinese people made the other mug.

Yeah, Chinese people can make great mugs.

Yeah, the but the yeah, the the the the logo of the show,

you know, there's like, it's like there's, what do you call it, kerning?

It's not just like typed in.

Like there's consideration for how the letters are spaced.

Yeah, there's kerning.

So yeah,

resend that the

file.

Okay.

I'll reach out to these guys.

Okay, because we just did an unboxing on the show.

For the fans, we're like shooting the show right now.

And we were expecting

we were going to be like, oh, these mugs are just props.

here's the good one here's the good mug and uh and now we're now we're fucking like now they're gonna be laughing at us well they're certainly not gonna be laughing well they won't be laughing

dude but soon we'll be laughing all the way to the bank boys that's right baby potentially um all right i'll talk to you later's gonna make 20 million dollars this year no we can't talk about that on the show we're on the show right now you're on the show yeah you're on the show

i didn't

bye

that's really funny what did you hear what he just said no

he's like do you think stomp's gonna make 20 million dollars this year 20 million i don't know about 20 million

probably five to ten for sure yeah yeah

he's rich

He is rich.

That boy, that boy done it.

That boy, wretched.

That boy done it.

All right.

Okay.

So also,

not only the mugs, but today's episode is brought to you by mybookie.ag

an offshore gambling website that has we've has hosted our show or what do you call it fucking sponsored sponsored our show for years

and the big thing that they got going on is gambling you go on there it's i think you they match your deposit up to a thousand dollars um but the big thing they're promoting this week, if you want to gamble on it, and please go gamble on it and use promo code TAFS when you sign up.

This is Crawford Spence.

Is

UFC heads to Salt Lake City on Saturday?

Fight at the top of the mountain.

Oh, okay.

In elevation.

Yeah, with a rare pay-per-view card featuring no UFC championships.

Fans will instead be treated the Dustin Poirier versus Justin Gaith J.

Oh, Gaetchy.

Gaiti, is that how you pronounce it?

I think so.

Okay.

Justin Gaetchy.

Even the fucking white UFC guys have impossible names.

Dustin versus Justin?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Gaiti and Poirier.

Yeah, Poirier's, I guess that's fine.

That's kind of Cajun.

But what is Gaetchy?

That's like Welsh or something.

Yeah, or German, maybe?

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

Follow-up to 2018 Fight of the Year with the ceremonial bad motherfucker title at stake.

BMF'd or fighting for the bad motherfucker title.

That's pretty good.

BMF also blowing money fast.

Yeah, kind of rude to give that to a white guy.

Are these white guys?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That you shouldn't.

You can't have votes.

You can't have two white guys.

Yeah, fighting for the BMF.

The biggest dick in America.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Don't Tread on Me title, maybe.

Yeah, but not

Shafts

honorific.

Yeah.

In the co-main,

Alex Pereira moves up to the UFC light heavyweight, and his first bout will be against the former champion Jan.

Is it Jan or Jan?

Blackowicz.

Blackowicz.

He's a

Jewish black guy.

Jan Blackowicz.

He's a Nazi Jewish black guy.

Jan Blackowicz.

That'd be a cool name for like an electro

funk producer.

Yeah, it'd be pretty cool.

Yeah, yeah.

Also, there's boxing this weekend.

Yes.

One of the most anticipated boxing bouts in years will take place this weekend.

As Errol Spence Jr.

and Terrence Crawford, we have a lot of work to do this weekend.

I don't know if

there will be work to do at nighttime.

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I'm taking Spence.

I was just the other day, too.

A lot of these weight classes in boxing and fighting, they just ran out of words and they just made shit up.

Yeah, Wilter.

Yeah, Wilterweight.

We got a Gazula Wade.

Yeah.

Dingo Wade.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

What are the other ones?

Bantam?

Bantam, that's not real.

That's the tiniest one.

Yeah, it's like a Bantam wave fighters are like 85 pounds.

It's the Filipino boy.

Yeah.

It's dingy.

It's back from like the, when boxing, the golden era of boxing during like the Great Depression.

Yeah.

And there was a guy that was like raised in a can of beans.

And he's like, yeah, they call me

Mickey the Spook O'Donnell.

He's like, I look 75 years old, but I'm 17.

Yeah, yeah.

And I had to fight my way out of this neighborhood.

Right.

I woke up yesterday at 8 a.m.

Fighting a duck.

They got me in a ring with a duck.

And I say, you know,

because the thing about ducks is they're smart.

But, you know, you get in there.

Some of them can fly.

But, you know, that's how life was on the Lower East side.

I woke up at 8 a.m.

yesterday to watch a fight that was in Tokyo.

The Americans have been linked?

Was it Gundams?

No,

it was a guy from Philadelphia versus a guy from Japan.

And he's the best, he's my favorite fighter, the Japanese guy.

He's now taken the title of four different weight classes.

And this was his fight at 122, which is the heaviest.

Are you excited about this one?

This one is, I'm so excited about it.

Well, the Americans have been linked for a long time, and they will finally go head-to-head in Las Vegas on Saturday with the Southpaws putting their titles and unbeaten records on the line.

I'm taking Spence, but I love Crawford.

Spence, 33, carries the WBC, WAA, and IBF belts into the T-Mobile arena.

While Crawford, 35, is

WBO champion.

Spence has a professional record of 28-0,

and Crawford is 39-0.

Earl Spence has also been in a crazy drunk driving accident.

You could also mention the Women's World Cup for soccer too.

Promo code is TAFS.

Women's World Cup.

That's coming up.

Whatever happened.

That's right now.

Remember that, what was that thing where they're like, oh, female soccer players should get paid the same as men?

Did they win that?

I don't know.

No.

No.

Yeah, yeah.

That was, what's her name?

Rapino.

That was her big thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you ever seen her speech?

She gave like a speech.

Was she the one that got in trouble for like pulling her like pussy out at the Olympics?

Or is that the other one?

I know that was Brandy Chastain took her top off when we were kids.

No, it was, what was the other one?

The one that was like ham, something.

Megan Ham.

Mia Ham.

Megan Ham.

Yeah, Mia Ham.

Didn't she pull her vagina out and like

open it off her?

I thought she opened it at like the Greeks or something during the Olympics.

I think, yeah.

Yeah, I don't remember.

She opened her pussy all the way up.

Out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She pulled it

open.

Gold.

She pulled it.

Yeah.

And then blew across the opening.

Woo.

And made like cruise ship noises.

Yeah, like a conch shell.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I do remember that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that, yeah, that's...

that

that was like after

that was in 98, I believe.

Yeah.

Clinton was president.

Yeah, she went to the White House.

She dragged her pussy.

Yeah.

I'm thinking, you know, because everybody's upset about trans

people in women's sports.

They should invent newer sports that are like...

You can only play them if you're a cis, I guess.

Not by restriction, but that there's only physical capabilities that...

Like the genitals?

like period sledding,

you know what I mean?

Yeah, like you have like rubber knee pads and you have to have your period on a slide, and then it's like a bob sled, yeah, and like the woman with the heaviest flow would have the

advantage, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'd like to see men tried that, and then you don't have a gender listed for it at all, you just call it period sled.

Yeah, guys could try, yeah, like men are welcome to try it.

You could drag your balls on the fucking on the

lung or something, yeah, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it would suck yeah right yeah or like breast milk sledding yeah where you have to make breast milk and then slide down a hill with it yeah

like a

kind of like a maybe like a like a like a sport where you have to grab someone's penis you know like a you know that turkish wrestling style yeah where's the two guys in underpants yeah yeah yeah yeah but you could just do that where they it's like tight they're not underpants actually they're leather capri pants we have a visitor

Thank you.

Thanks.

It's a podcast.

We got to start locking that door.

That happens way too often.

Yeah.

I also don't understand the no-knock.

What if we were therapists?

What if there was like a 400-pound manager?

He's like, I was molested.

Again, the guy comes in.

He's like, I'm terrified people will find out that I was molested.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

And it's a fucking thing.

And I have to gain another 400 pounds.

Yeah.

I watched probably three hours of my 600-pound life.

How's it these days?

Well, I don't know.

Yesterday it was like all the good stories.

And those are the only ones I watch.

I don't know.

Like half the show now is, and maybe it's always been this way.

Admittedly, I'm not a huge.

I'm not a 600-pound.

Let's just say I'm not the biggest fan of my 600-pound life.

But I feel like more often than not, it's like, you know,

they're like, it's first of all, someone living in abject poverty.

They're like, I gotta do something.

I gotta change my life because I don't wanna die.

And then they have to get in a van.

They put them in like the back of a car and then they have to drive eighteen hours to Houston to see that Persian guy.

Persian black pants.

And he's yeah, and he's like,

you're you're you're too much fat bitch to live.

And if you want to be not fat bitch, you have to, you know, make change and you have to we need to see you lose maybe two hundred, maybe five pounds before we decided you know and then you know change our life so you're saying the good episodes like where they get it together well yeah and then and but they it always is they drive to the doctor just to get weighed like the initial consultation so they have to like do this organ trail

and um and then they always show they film the car from behind another thing they do on that show when they do like the like how fat the car is when they do the initial like confessionals they have the people sit on like a couch i guess and talk about like how eating has destroyed their life, and then they shoot them from like down here.

So they make them look as big as possible.

And I tell you, on a 65-inch screen, it's like this is just this massive person.

But they have to go for the initial consultation and they get there and then they just weigh them.

And he tells them they need to lose a bunch of weight.

And then they have to get back in the car, drive back to fucking Ohio,

and then

try to manage the diet on themselves.

I think the show, the show pays each person like $1,500

and they tape them for a year.

and

then they cover like the surgery itself and then the follow-up visits afterwards.

But, I mean, like, really, they should be covering, that show is like massively popular.

It's been around for a long time.

I'm sure they have a massive production budget.

They should be paying for like a nutritionist.

Because if you just tell, like, somebody that has a crippling food addiction, you need to eat 1,200 calories a day, which is the diet they put them on, it's insane.

Yeah, it's like, you know.

That's so hard.

And they have to do it for a while, too, because they have a lot of weight to lose.

It should just be they get, you know, they get a nutritionist also that helps them.

Like, you know, and maybe they do.

Maybe you just don't see that part.

But anyways, the point is, is watching the show, like it feels like the majority of the time they go back.

They get back in the fucking car, go see the doctor again.

And he's like, you only lost 35 pounds.

You're still a fat bitch.

So we cannot do surgery.

And then they just send, he sends them home.

And then it's like another year of them doing a diet without much guidance other than like it seems like they just give them a number like calorie boss oh yeah and in the meantime they're like literally in the Stanford prison experiment with cameras all over cameras all over them but also too it's like they're so big that unless you have some kind of industrial scale yeah I don't they they don't know they're like well we're gonna see how much weight I lost and they only get to check like once a year Well, what about like at a county fair, like when they like weigh the biggest pumpkin?

They guess.

They guess for those?

Yeah, they guess.

That's how you win the pumpkin is by guessing the closest you know

don't they have like a livestock yeah but they they just they judge that's pig judging i don't know if they have really have a way of weighing

you know the pigs they just say that's the biggest that's the biggest pig to me it looks like yeah first prize you think there's like a mean gay guy that's like the best pig judge maybe but it's like look at this bitch over here probably it's like best like you've been eating yeah yeah

tyra Banks' pig contest, top pig.

But

yeah, last night there was a lot of

success stories, and those are always fun.

They got the surgery?

They did all right.

No, I watched that show.

What do you do with the skin, though?

It's awful.

They cut it off.

They cut it off.

Yeah.

I watch that show, and often it's like sometimes I'll feel like, oh, I wish I was 600 pounds just so I could lose the weight.

Just so I could feel like I could.

Like you had a new lease on life?

Yeah, just so I feel like I accomplished something.

Because they're, I mean,

a little bit, yeah, honestly.

I find myself jealous of the 600-pound life you've law.

That's nice, though.

Yeah, well, they have such like a tangible problem right in front of you.

Yeah, when it's like something that's not, you can't really put your finger on, it's way worse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it can be fixed by

not doing something,

you know,

by depriving yourself of something.

You know, there's like a

you know, well, it's like quitting smoking, maybe, but no one celebrates that.

Yeah, right.

No one's going to be like,

you also can't see it.

You wouldn't see somebody in a year and they're like, oh my God,

you're not vaping.

Yeah.

There was a guy, Michael,

on the episode last night.

It was very funny because he,

because of his size, he was very ashamed about

going out of the house.

He wouldn't take his son's day.

He really wouldn't go out of the house.

But they have the scene where he goes to meet the doctor for the first time.

And they had already lived in Houston He goes to meet

the doctor and you know he's like explaining that he doesn't really like going out of the house because he's ashamed

and then the wife is like

you know they're getting ready to go she's like you got your hat and he's like yep and then he puts on he's wearing like a bowler hat with autism puzzle pieces around like the band

I don't want to leave the house if nobody makes fun of me

where's the dumbest hat I've ever seen

But that guy did it.

He's actually on Instagram.

You can look him up.

It's unreal.

He's jacked?

Or is he just skinny?

Yeah, he's like lost all the weight.

I mean,

he lost like 700.

I've never watched that show.

Is there like a common pathology?

Do they have like feeders in their lives or they went through a trauma?

Yeah, often it requires, I think, the other person to be enabling them.

I mean, I feel like

older ones I watched, there was always like definitely, like there was one where this guy's sneaking Taco Bell Bell into the hospital for his like his wife and the doctor comes in.

He's like, What the fuck are you doing?

He's so calm about it.

Yeah,

you can't even.

That guy is wild.

And it's so funny.

It's like, imagine being a production company.

You're like, we want to do a show about lap ant surgery and people changing their lives.

Let's find the least charismatic man in the entire fucking world to be the doctor.

He's the doctor for everyone on the show?

Yeah, yeah.

They always go to him.

So he's the one that's making all the money.

He also too, I used to feel like he was in a hospital and now he's in a strip mall somewhere.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, so it's like a private practice or whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, maybe he was at some big hospital and like the

big old boy, but the Bob's Big Boy Center.

Yeah.

In Hurston.

Yeah, Hurston International Hospital.

I think I saw only one, but I think it was a woman who lost a child and then the next child,

it was his mom who was like just enabling it.

And she was like, hamburgers are good for you.

Yeah.

Often they have like a history of like sexual abuse or something.

Really?

Yeah.

And then, you know, I mean, obviously further isolation from being so big.

And being in their house.

From being in their house.

And then if you find comfort in food, I mean, it's like,

and it's like, that's the worst addiction to have is food because

you need to develop moderation.

Right.

There's no other addiction like that.

Yeah, you can't have like just a little crack.

Right, exactly.

Yeah.

It's like full abstinence.

Yeah.

You just have to smoke less crack.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That sucks, man.

Dog was dying when he put that hat on.

You got your hat?

Yep.

Is it okay?

Also,

what percentage of them have normal-sized partners?

And what percentage of them have also fattish shit partners?

I don't know.

I don't know like a percentage-wise.

Is it more common that they have a normal-sized one or more common that they have like a fucking?

That's the other thing, too, is they all seem to like to have relatively stable home life.

Yeah, they have maybe.

It's also too, it's like shot a certain way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, they edited.

How do they pay for their like their houses and their food and stuff?

What do you mean?

It just seems like it's like a lot of investment.

They usually have jobs, you know, work from home and stuff.

Yeah.

The funniest one was the the guy with the red hair whose dad was like he loved his dad.

Him and his dad loved each other.

They lived together, but he was uh he just plays Xbox Live all day long.

Oof.

Plays Xbox Live all day long.

And

let me see if I can find the picture of him sitting in that bed.

600.

It was like one of those bedrooms that you see on Reddit where it's just a mattress and a T V and a console.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Casey King.

It's a cool name.

No, I mean this guy, this guy has an insane

stressing me out.

Yeah.

It's stressing me out.

Well, it's also I don't understand what his legs are doing.

He looks like Fat Bastard.

It's literally just Fat Bastard.

Who plays video games all day.

Is he good at gaming?

He

has to bathe outside like a pig.

Oh, sorry.

This was on the series Family by the Ton.

Oh.

A spin-off of the TLC reality series, My 600-pound life.

So he didn't lose the weight, and he got a spin-off.

Yeah.

They're literally killing these people.

Yeah.

I mean, the show is, like,

pretty depressing.

I mean I they haven't I can't watch it because it's so stressful.

Again, I haven't and the music is stressful.

It makes it more stressful.

I've never watched it consistently, but it seems like there's a therapist on there now that there wasn't before.

I don't recall that when watching it years prior.

To like drill into the trauma?

Yeah, they have a therapist named Mr.

Dr.

Paradise

who

comes off like he has like a mental insufficiency.

He's like, you know, he's like, so why'd you start eating so much?

And then they'll be like, oh, I was molested.

And he's like, oh, wow.

Wow.

Okay.

So how did that make you feel?

And he's always got this weird half-smile.

It's so stressful.

Yeah.

And they're like filling up

the other side of the room.

It's crazy.

That's, I mean, that show in hoarders, I just like,

I can't take.

Yeah.

Hoarders is cool, though.

Hoarding is cool.

I don't know.

I'm sorry, but

I don't think that's a disability or a problem.

The whole society.

They have poo and stuff in their house.

They have poo-poo on the floor all day.

All of society is based around accumulating as much as possible.

The poo-poo, the poo-poo drug.

Some poor people.

There's always a poo-poo act.

Some poor people figure out a way to do it that threatens, because Obama's like, I can't do that.

I was president.

Yeah.

I can't fill my house with stuff.

He couldn't do it.

I have to keep it in my bank account.

Yeah.

Well, too bad.

Somebody figured it out.

Oh, so now it's a mental thing.

Something they could have.

But there's always a poo-poo aspect to it.

Is there?

There's always shit and like dead things.

Yeah.

There's always like a biological aspect to it that's like revolting.

I haven't watched much hoarders either.

Yeah.

Storage Wars, I haven't watched either.

I really haven't watched it.

That show is nice.

Storage Wars?

Yeah.

I kind of don't like that.

What?

I think it's boring.

Yeah, but that's what's nice about it, how boring it is.

I would like to do a reality show where you find people that are morbidly obese that want to change their lives, but they don't want to lose any of the weight.

And the show is we attach as many, see how many balloons we have to attach to them before they're lifted up into the atmosphere.

And then their family can just say goodbye to them.

Like a, yeah.

Yeah, and then like up.

Yeah, right, exactly.

Yeah, like up.

Yeah.

And then the big triumphant moment is when we tie on the final balloon that actually works.

And then they wave goodbye.

They wave goodbye.

And everyone's on the ground waving.

Yeah, waving goodbye.

It's kind of beautiful.

And then the credits roll as they sort of just like disappear with the sun behind them.

Yeah, and every episode is the same.

The same, yeah.

There's no like narrative arc.

No.

It's just tying balloons to a fan room.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I spent 15 years just bedridden and it got progressively worse and my husband died and I really don't want to carry on anymore and I feel like a burden to my family.

And so I've decided to consult with Dr.

Now for the balloon treatment.

Okay, so we have to make more balloons.

We're going if you want to be in space we have to put balloons on you.

We have to go to national weather center.

We do not know if we have enough balloons so you have to lose 100, 150 pounds before.

It's not even like he has an accent because he doesn't speak English.

He's just lazy.

He's just, yeah, he's just lazy, man.

Yeah, it's fucking insane.

Yeah.

That's so funny.

Like, I think if you heard him speak Persian, if you were like a.

Do the same thing.

Yeah, you'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with this?

Yeah, right.

Why does this guy sound like this?

And the laziest doctor in America.

Is he deaf?

I've only seen like one episode.

Doctor now Zaradin.

That's such an insane life that that guy has.

That he just has to like

all day just like look at

those type of bodies.

Yeah.

And then lazily tell them to stop eating.

What do they have to get down to to get the lap band surgery?

I think 450 pounds.

Is there a reason for that?

It's like dangerous otherwise?

It's dangerous and then I mean you can't like do surgery like

It just doesn't work that way.

I think they may be small enough.

Do they still make shows about like this guy's got like the biggest balls in America and stuff?

I don't know if they ever did a show like that.

They're always like

Yeah, like like I like like body should be a monster truck that has truck nuts.

That'd be so just giant nuts.

Yeah, that'd be so badass.

Yeah.

It's just yeah

unnecessarily large nuts.

They drag on the ground.

They spark while he drives.

Yeah, that would be cool.

There's always those guys that have to put their balls in a wheelbarrow or something.

Or maybe I'm thinking of just one guy.

Yeah.

Then moved to the United States.

He participated in a medical orientation there in St.

Louis University in St.

January.

College of Surgeons.

That guy left after the Revolution?

No.

No, he left in 1971.

Oh, before?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Moved to the United States in 1970, so before the Revolution.

Yeah.

Yeah.

To be a fat doctor.

To be America's fat doctor.

Yeah.

He's been married to Dolores McRedmond for 27 years.

Oh,

he got an Irish wife?

Oh, his son is a director on the show, so that's probably why he's on the show.

It's an inside job yeah that's bullshit dude yeah Jonathan knows everything

John

nothing

no

Zaran

see if this guy directs anything else

well when you google him it's his credit is that he's that guy's son so I don't know I don't know who was first

Yeah, no, his son started in 2015.

So

he was on the show first.

He got his boy a job.

He got his boy a job.

My son, the best director.

But yeah, the Xbox guy was the best one on the show.

Yeah.

And his dad was just sending up Taquitos the whole time?

Yeah, his dad loves him.

Oh, it's so sad.

I'd probably be like that.

I think I'd be.

If you beat cancer.

I think I'm a feeder.

Honestly, anytime I'm in a relationship, which is always going to be with another depressed person,

constantly, I'm like, you want a little treat or something?

I'm always bringing peanut MMs and shit.

It's like a cat.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe this will cheer you up.

You want some sour patch, kids?

Dude, it would be awesome if you had a 900-pound wife.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

He lost all the weight.

Who?

The guy from last night?

No, the fucking.

Oh, the fat bastard?

Oh, he really did?

Yeah, he lost all the weight.

I think beating cancer.

What you were saying before is like, oh, you wish you could...

I mean, it isn't physical, right?

Because you can't see a tumor, but that's like...

People have to be happy for you.

I don't think I'd beat cancer.

I think if I got cancer, I'd just die.

Really?

Yeah, I don't think I have it in me to beat cancer.

Well, it wouldn't be you.

It'd be a good thing.

I'm not going to go sit and watch a 5K, you know?

Or like fucking...

I'm not going to put a bow on my head.

I'm not doing any of that shit.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I don't want t-shirts.

If people are fucking...

Oh my god, the t-shirts.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

No bumper stickers.

I went to my uncle's funeral.

He died of cancer.

My cousin's in a frat.

And like, all the, the whole, all the brethren were in the back wearing the t-shirt.

Mm-hmm.

Holding it down for my cousin.

It was like so sweet.

Yeah.

Yeah, but like.

That scene in the new Insidious where he goes in the bathroom and the kid who died in the frat throwing up

comes back from the dead.

That's very scary.

But I didn't see it.

The new Insidious is good.

I heard, yeah, you told me it was scary.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mission Impossible sucked, by the way.

That's my review.

Oh, did it?

I love that franchise, and it was the longest, worst one yet.

Is that the one where he does the motorcycle off the thing?

That's the thing,

that was my takeaway.

My dad and I were talking about it afterwards.

Seeing him do it six times in that clip, just the stunt

it it just the it doesn't ruin the stunt, but it's not like you're in the theater, like, wow, cool.

It's way cooler seeing the guy, Tom Cruise, doing it.

The guy that we love doing that.

That clip is insane.

But it's wild.

It came out so long ago.

I figured that that movie had already come out.

I think it came out last year.

What?

The VP?

It was up?

Yeah, it was after Top Gun came out.

He released that clip.

And then he released the other clip where he's skydiving and then he's mic'd and he's like,

thanks for coming back to the movies.

We're going to save the movies.

Yeah, yeah.

He's the coolest guy of all time Tom Cruise fucking rules he's the coolest guy of all time we gotta get him on the Adam I heard

okay well then I won't say it what I heard like a

like one of those fifth-hand urban legends about

about how he likes to have sex and it was it was also very cool while skydiving no

no no

Like um just skydiving, just riding a motorcycle off and then just into somebody's pussy.

No, no, it was gonna say no.

I'm not going to say it.

He's a friend of the show.

I don't want to.

We'd love to have Tom Cruise on.

Anyways, we're going to have this brand call.

Yeah, we have to call it Advertiser.

Folks, thanks for watching.

Thanks for watching.

We'll get the better mugs soon.

Oh, I will be in Washington, D.C., I believe the last weekend of August, returning home

back to the place from whence we came.

Are you doing Big Hunt?

Big Hunt doesn't exist anymore.

What are you doing?

I forgot the name of the place.

The Comedy Loft.

Comedy Loft.

Five shows?

Is that a Sean Joyce joint?

No, Sean Joyce opened up his own club, I think, in Adams-Morgan.

But I don't know what it's called.

I don't know what it's called.

I would love to.

Shay Jay's.

Shay Jay's.

Shay Jay's.

Shout out to our boy, Sean Joyce.

Sean Joyce,

inventing the DC comedy scene.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The mastermind, the architect.

Yeah.

Does he even do stand-up anymore?

I think he stopped doing stand-up once he started all his rooms.

Yeah.

But I think COVID kind of, because he was running like five, all those shows were sold out.

He was doing really well,

I think.

Yeah.

Shout out to Sean.

Sean Joyce holding it down.

All right.

Bye.

Thanks, guys.

When is this called?

1.30.

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