The Adam Friedland Show Podcast – Episode 5

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Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.

The podcast.

The podcast.

I'm with the Adam Friedland Show Podcast.

Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show Podcast.

I'm joined by Nick.

I'm Adam.

How are you, Nick?

I'm all right.

I'm good.

It's beautiful outside.

It is.

I went to Auntie Anne's.

I had some pretzel bites.

It's always good for me.

You enjoyed them?

They're good.

Kind of like a, you know, like a mental health break.

I wouldn't say that, just sort of enjoying pretzel bites.

Not everything has to be self-care now.

I don't understand that.

I'm not one of those people.

Well, you just called eating pretzel bites a mental health break.

I don't know.

It's something that makes you happy.

They just taste good.

And

how does that make you feel?

People used to just.

How does that make you feel?

People used to just live their lives and they would enjoy things.

Not everything had to be like

some sort of process process in

like

you know, like escaping trauma.

Uh-huh.

I don't know.

Everything's branded now as trauma.

Yeah.

I don't understand it.

Yeah.

Speaking of trauma, I'll be in Austin, Texas tomorrow night, the first of June through the third.

Five shows at Cap City Comedy.

Nick, where are you next?

I'm in San Diego.

San Diego.

Hell of a city.

June 15th through June 17th.

It's San Diego.

The American Comedy Club.

Also, July 13th through 15th, I'll be at Cap City Comedy Club in Austin.

Amazing.

So next month, if you want to go see that, I'll be at Cap City.

Amazing.

Competing dates.

I don't know if they're really competing.

Well,

you got to catch them all.

You got to see Nick and me.

Six weeks apart.

Six weeks apart, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Anyway,

yeah, I'm not trying to brand your pretzels as trauma or a coping mechanism for trauma.

I'm not being defensive.

I'm making

a general point about the way.

I'm just saying if it tastes good, it makes you feel good.

Sure.

Yeah.

That's what a tasty thing does to someone.

If you have a candy.

If you have an ice cream Snickers,

it tends to make a person feel better.

or good just good not better good

yeah

what did you get huh the small pretzels I got pretzel bites yes the bites yeah how many did you have I don't know I don't count how many a dozen I don't I have no idea you housed them on the walk back here there's not that many yeah I took a walk around the block I had

a couple of pretzel bites yeah

we've we've had some frustrations here at the studio getting set up today, but we're on course right now.

We're feeling good.

Yeah, everything's working now.

We feel good about it.

Feel good about it.

Yeah, we need we need better HDMI cables.

Those things like fail fairly frequently.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, these ones are are garbage.

And whose fault is it?

It's mine.

I got them.

No, you didn't.

It's not your fault.

Yeah.

I got them at Moise electronics going out of business

limitation you know what how about this this is big on youtube because we're trying to get youtube we're doing tech reviews go ahead right so a lot of people look maybe we'll do a different preview image for this where it's like you superimpose like the camera and then you can do like yeah soy face what the fuck is this thing

this will be our review of the black magic pocket cinema 4k which came out probably like eight years ago so nobody's looking up reviews of it and what's your like star system that you've

identified?

I don't know.

I think we should use a little pineapples.

Because you know, it makes your cum taste better.

Yes.

So the more pineapples, the better the better the cum tastes.

Yeah.

So it's unlimited.

I guess, yeah.

You'd probably want to cap it.

So if you give something 15 pineapples.

Yeah, if you want to go that far on a 15-point system.

You're going up to 15.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Yeah.

Anyways, no, the cameras are good.

What does a cum taste like?

What?

Has a gal ever told you?

I don't know.

No.

Anyways,

and you bought it.

Oh, review, review.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you want to keep that separate.

We bought these, and they all have the

raw light OLPF filter in there.

Mm-hmm.

which Ed tells us is just in case somebody has a

like a shirt with a pattern on it that's supposed to help.

What is it, moiré?

Or what's it called?

Moire.

Moiré.

Moire.

With that, and then also the blacks won't be as red looking.

What do you mean by the blacks?

They have like a red, they look muddy, they're like a reddish hue, I guess you put those filters in.

But if doing it all over again, I would have gotten those studio

They have the same camera, but for what we do.

You know, so they got a bigger monitor on there,

and the tally lights have little numbers you can put on them.

It comes with a set of numbers, so you can do one, two, three

on the camera.

What is like the distinction from a red light?

Well, when everything was fucked up, we had Ginsburg out here and we're setting everything back up.

He was having trouble keeping track of which ones were which.

So now there's tape all over everything.

Yes.

It's tape.

It's tape.

Not a good system.

It's tape.

How does he say it?

Who?

It's tape.

People will know.

Doesn't matter.

What guy?

Doesn't matter.

But...

Why can't I know?

Yeah, they weren't recording.

So now they're recording.

Feels good.

What time is it?

It is

now 12.36.

It's taken her approximately three hours and six minutes to troubleshoot this.

So how many pineapples what of the black magic pocket 4k I don't know I haven't used any other camera yeah so I have no idea let's say 15 all right and then it'll revise yeah depending on it'll either go to zero or stay at 15.

That's the other thing too.

We only give either 15 pineapples or not.

Or zero.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Something's awesome or terrible.

Yeah.

So check it out.

Black Magic 4K.

It's what, $1,500?

There's something like that.

You can can probably find them on sale.

You probably want to buy it used now.

I think they got a new one out.

The studio.

Yeah.

Well, no, that's a different camera.

I think they have a new 4K Pro or something.

Yeah.

But if this show ever starts, you know, the money starts going in the other direction,

you know what I mean?

It goes up.

If the money starts going up,

maybe at some point we'll swap the cameras out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then you can for what?

For the studio.

Studio.

The studio cameras, but the big monitor is on there.

And we could get rid of some of these cables too, because I think you only need one.

The problem with these is they only have HDMI out.

Correct.

They don't have SDI.

Yeah.

To use SDI, we only need one run of SDI.

We can strike that, save the cables for something else.

Would you be opposed to having like an NYU-tish

summer

fellowship kind of person around here?

We'd pay them.

I know how you feel about own.

We've done that.

We've already do that.

We've had crew and people in here.

Yeah, but like

on a consistent basis.

For college credit.

To do what?

I don't know, tidy.

Yeah, we had that.

You got rid of them.

You get into fights with everybody.

What are you talking about?

Well, I mean, you asked me,

yeah, that would be great.

To have someone in here with the tidies.

So you're going to Austin.

Do you have any plans for Austin?

Yes.

What are you doing?

I'm going to Big Mama's House.

Oh, they got that down there?

Yeah, Martin Lawrence.

It's weird.

They only do that with Friends and

Cheers and Seinfeld.

Do what?

They do like pop-ups where they'll have the set of Seinfeld.

Or they'll do Central Perk.

They'll do the Friends

Coffee Shop.

In the West Village, the exterior of the friend.

Yeah.

They'll have that.

They should do it with Big Mama's House.

They should.

yeah, or the Death Star.

They should build a full-size Death Star that takes up all of downtown Manhattan, and you can go in there.

I think it's a little bit bigger.

The Death Star, it's a planet destroyer, it's the size of a moon, right?

That's the size of a planet.

That's what they say.

Yeah, yeah.

How big is the moon?

Um

Texas, yeah, yeah.

That's the thing I don't understand with the flat earth stuff.

Is the moon also flat?

Yes,

it's a picture.

It's how does that work?

Let me see.

What do they say?

Do you know a flat earther in your life?

No.

No, me neither.

I think it's a fake thing.

It's a fake thing.

Kyrie Irving is the only one I've ever heard about.

How flat earthers explain total lunar eclipses.

Yeah.

So what else you got planned in Austin?

Well, I looked this up.

Gonna hit some taco spots.

When's the last time we were back?

austin yeah probably march of

2022 yeah when i did uh creek in the cave what do you make of the change

what do you mean

has it changed well every is it less weird every city's always changing i'd say even when i lived in austin you know you get the old heads like the guys that lived there in the 90s yeah and then alex jones yeah well yeah

but they'd say you know all austin's changed you know it's funny about Alex Jones.

He used to just be this sort of like,

you know, just like a weird guy that lived in Austin and was sort of like a conspiracy theorist.

And back then it was like harmless.

And now he's, you know, it's crazy to see what he's turned into.

You think he's harmful now?

Well, people interpret him that way.

That's what I say.

I don't know whether, I mean, I guess you could say he is in the grand scheme of things.

I mean, I don't really care to defend or condemn Alex Jones.

I think the world does enough of that itself.

Yeah.

I don't

only

God can judge me.

Sure.

That's what I say.

Yeah,

I just, yeah, I mean, I would say people think he's like harmful now.

But it is kind of, it's nice.

You know, that's like the,

this is sort of a charitable interpretation, but like the story of, you know, like people pitch Barack Obama as this guy that represents hope.

you know?

There was this whole thing is hope, you know, and it's because his first black president, right?

Which is like a milestone to overcome.

But honestly, it would have been more impressive if it was like 1960, maybe, you know,

not like

2008.

Right?

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

If he got like more than half of the electorate to vote for him, then.

Yeah.

I mean, that would be...

Yeah, but there was no...

That would be like, that would be crazy.

No one was trying.

At the time, it's like you already had a black president on the show 24,

which is a pro-torture,

like Islamophobic show.

You know, that's like probably one of the most right-wing shows you have on television.

And even they were like black president.

The Republicans were running black guys,

you know.

Well, just for fun.

For fun, right.

You know, Alan Keyes could have been president.

No, he couldn't have.

He could have been.

No, he couldn't have.

Yeah, well, he had that weird Kermit voice.

Sure.

But I guess not to take anything away from Obama being the first black president, but

they say that, you know, like, okay, this is a camp.

Can you believe it?

And it's like, yes, of course I can believe it.

What would have been impressive in 2008, which 24 I think also did, is Chinese lady president.

You know?

Yeah.

That you didn't see.

You wouldn't see that.

But you said 24 did it already.

I know.

Your standard is that Obama's not impressive because 24 did it.

The point I'm making is this.

Okay, go ahead.

Donald Trump, that truly represents hope.

Because he's probably the worst guy.

The worst guy you could come up with.

In the world.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's a guy who takes his dad's racist landlord money.

Loses most of it.

Yeah.

Turns his name into a thing.

Destroys

nationally protected

buildings.

Fucks up.

Atlantic City, does all these bad things, raping children.

I don't know.

Yeah, some of them his family, maybe.

You know, I don't, like, you know, I mean, he does all this bad stuff.

And then on top of that, it's not like, you know, like people say, talk about it, oh, can you separate the art from the artist, right?

Yes.

It's like Polanski.

We talk about Polanski.

It's like, because there is weird, you know, you do, I do, at least, in my head, there's, there's people who are,

you know, it's like, I love Chinatown, right?

I love that movie.

The movie, not the place.

Yeah.

Well, and the place, but the movie.

Okay.

And, you know, you think about like Roman Polanski raping a child.

And I try not to.

And in my head, like, I see it happening, right?

I visualize.

I don't.

You shouldn't.

Okay.

But this young girl, drugged, scared, whatever.

And Roman Polanski, he comes in.

He's 4'11.

You know, she doesn't.

Is this a nightmare child?

I don't know.

Even though the tour, though, yeah.

He's wearing Austin Powers outfit?

And yes, it's the 70s.

Swinging.

And in my head, at the the same time, I see Jack Nicholson with a bandage on his nose, and he's down at the aqueduct.

So the worst thing he did and this great thing are just sort of intrinsically linked.

And more and more in my head,

Chinatown just is superimposed and completely obfuscates this bad thing that he did.

Whereas if you told me Larry the cable guy raped a 12-year-old girl,

I would imagine him on stage doing the voice raping the girl for an audience of people.

And I wouldn't be thinking of his material at all, if that makes any sense.

And I guess you're talking about

Alex Jones?

I'm talking about Donald Trump stuff.

Didn't start with Alex Jones.

To Obama, to Donald Trump?

Well, I guess, yeah.

To Polanski.

But Alex Jones.

To the film Chinatown.

The fact that Alex Jones could possibly be sued for, what was it, $300 billion or something by the sense?

A zillion.

He started off as just a guy on like AM radio.

You know what I mean?

Like local AM radio.

I thought public access.

Public access, something like that.

He was already well into his 30s.

And it's like that's a hopeful thing.

In a negative sense.

It's aspirational.

Yeah.

The fact that Donald Trump could become president despite being this guy.

So you're like celebrating the achievement.

The achievement for some and you say that Barack Obama

barely achieved it.

Well, who do you think?

Because it wasn't.

Who's the less likely president?

The guy's a

half black guy that's a constitutional lawyer.

I would say half.

I was able to one-drop him.

Yeah, but half African and you know.

African.

Well, he is.

He's half Kenyan.

Okay.

You know?

Yeah.

Obama, or you're saying who's less likely.

Or Alex Jones going from AM radio.

Or Donald Trump, a pedophile, failed businessman who's inherited racist landlord money.

A television star also.

And yeah,

a celebrity.

Yeah, who's less likely?

Prior to all of this, who's less likely?

I don't know.

There's never been a black guy.

Let's put it this way.

Let's say if you met the movie Rudy, right?

Okay, I like this.

Let's just add the element.

I can relate to this.

Let's just add the element

that Rudy is racist.

Okay.

You know, Rudy is like, and...

He's a good guy.

Okay, go ahead.

Go ahead.

No, no, no.

Don't forget it.

I don't mean to cut you off.

No, no.

Rudy was racist.

Go ahead.

But he was a good guy.

He got that sack.

They let him play that one play.

But let's add that he's racist.

Okay.

Does that make it a what is the is the movie?

Are you still rooting for Rudy?

I wouldn't say it's a sympathetic character.

He's not a sympathetic character.

Or a protagonist, yeah.

But it would still function as a movie.

No, I don't know if people would see it.

Is there like a guy who's too short to play at Notre Dame football?

Right.

And he's

also.

In point of fact, he's a white supremacist.

But

he just happens to be a white supremacist.

But he's like the least qualified guy to play football.

Yeah.

He doesn't have size.

If you put your

mind, which is already operating in a diminished capacity,

to it, you can become president or you can play at Notre Dame.

Yeah.

You're saying as a film character or as a guy in general?

I guess what?

What?

I'm just trying to wrap my head around this.

Well, both.

you're saying okay how about this you say is it more of an achievement if someone is repugnant i i would say that there are plenty of people that have achieved in athletics

that were racist rudy right yeah but it's not like barack one could argue a lot of presidents were racist no yeah but it's not like barack obama that doesn't make it an achievement you know what i mean is radio yeah he's not radio if radio became president it would be more impressive than barack Obama.

I will concede that.

Yeah, right.

So now let's just imagine instead of being black, radio was a racist white guy.

Okay.

And mentally handicapped?

And yeah, diminished in capacity.

Okay.

Slow.

Right.

Can you say that anymore?

What, slow?

Slow.

Yeah, why not?

Who knows these days?

So you're saying that Barack Obama, because what?

Because he was

just black

or half black,

it doesn't represent as big of an accomplishment as Alex Jones' ascent or

Donald Trump's ascent.

Barack Obama becomes president

barely in spite of one thing.

That's like, you know, it's like, I don't even feel like feel comfortable saying that, that he became president in spite of being black.

You know what I mean?

Or dispute.

What do you think?

Donald Trump becomes president in spite of

bad personality.

Don't do that list of things.

Yeah, done bad things.

Right.

Television star.

That's the one thing that helps him.

I mean, it's a big thing,

especially in our society.

People love television stars.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Obama didn't have that going for him.

In many ways, you could say that it's more of an achievement for Obama to do it than Trump as someone with a network television show.

I guess it's like I see Donald Trump as so you have you compare Donald Trump and Barack Obama and we'll use David and Goliath as an example.

Regular David and Goliath everybody understands that story.

We'll add a little bit of nuance, right?

So you have one David and Goliath where David is the same size as the giant, but he's black.

And then David and Goliath...

David is black.

David is black, but he's the same size as the giant.

Well, it doesn't work as a story.

Everyone's rooting against him because it's 6,000 years ago.

Oh, because they were racist then.

Yeah.

Okay.

And Donald Trump's story is he's still the same size as David,

but he's racist.

But everyone was.

Who is closer to the real David?

Well, 6,000 years ago, when most people were racist, as you're claiming, I wasn't there.

I guess it's more of an accomplishment for David.

The Donald Trump, the racist David.

I thought you said Obama is David.

They're both David.

So you start in the middle with David and Goliath, right?

The regular story.

Okay.

Yeah.

Alright, so I'm following.

I'm following.

Here's

David.

Here's Goliath, right?

Who's bigger?

Here's Donald Trump, David.

Alright, Donald Trump, David.

regular Goliath.

Who?

Okay, hold on.

Who?

David, Goliath.

Okay.

Donald Trump, Goliath.

Barack Obama, Goliath.

Okay, Goliath, same, cross-border.

All three, same ones.

Same Goliath in every scenario.

Okay.

Same Goliath.

Obama and Trump are Davids?

David is David.

Donald Trump, David, also.

Barack Obama, also David.

Okay.

Three Davids.

Three Davids, you have three Goliaths.

The middle ground is the story we know.

A little guy.

Slingshot.

A little guy.

The odds are against him.

He's fighting a giant.

He's got a slingshot, right?

Now,

Barack Obama,

now David, same size as the giant.

You take away...

Disadvantage.

This disadvantage, the racial disadvantage, right?

And if Barack Obama was just a senator from Illinois that people liked, was very charismatic, that, you know, could speak well.

Great speaker.

One of the greatest orators of all the people.

Nice smile, yeah.

Right.

You know, like that, that guy, all things considered, he's the same.

He's the same size as Goliath, right?

That's not a guy where you think, okay, this guy can't be president.

You know what I mean?

Right?

So he's the same size, but he's black.

Right now the

Donald Trump one, he's still small.

He has none of the qualifications.

There's nothing that you would say like, oh, okay,

this guy can't be president, right?

He's disqualified for all these things.

And on top of that,

he's a bad person.

So he's just at base level, unqualified for the job, even if he wasn't racist.

You know what I mean?

Even if people didn't like him.

But you're adding something on top of it.

So he's further away from the David and Goliath story than David itself.

Whereas this is a more like

equitable matchup.

You follow?

I'm just saying it's cool that Alex Jones kept working and got to the point where he could be sued by those families for saying that they didn't.

It was a come-up.

It was a come-up.

Yeah, you know.

But why is

Donald Trump, in your example, smaller than Obama?

Because he's unqualified.

Because he's uniquely unqualified for the job.

Okay.

Sure.

Yeah.

But Obama's...

So you're saying it's more of an accomplishment.

Is that the point?

It's more.

It's a...

More of a David versus Goliath.

If you were to add nuance to the story.

Because Obama is a product of the system?

I don't say he's a product of the system.

But to some extent, he's a

mainstream politician.

Yeah, right.

Very qualified for the job.

I guess it doesn't matter.

No, no, no.

I see what you're saying.

It is an accomplishment, but in many ways, Trump was a mirror to all of us, right?

To our own ugliness.

Maybe we're all terrible people.

And maybe we all aspire to be terrible people that are also

firing a meatloaf on celebrity apprentices.

The American people are Goliath.

We're Goliath.

We're Goliath, yeah.

So winning an election is defeating all of us.

Yeah.

Okay.

Tricking people into selecting.

Wait, why did you say there are three Goliaths?

What?

You said there are three.

There are three.

Who are the other two?

It's the same in each one.

So it's three triple.

It's a triple.

I'm tired of this now.

Why not?

Because

you understand what I'm saying.

You're just saying that it's a...

You're making me explain it over and over and over.

No, you're saying it's more impressive, right?

Yes.

Okay.

Not in a way, because

you can't take the word impressive to mean this is a good person.

No, you're saying

he overcame more?

If I saw

the most racist guy in the world jump over the Grand Canyon,

you know, I wouldn't be like...

Evil can evil.

Yeah, but very evil.

Why is his name?

Yeah.

If I saw that, he still would have jumped over the Grand Canyon.

You know what I mean?

Now, if I saw black evil can evil do it, I wouldn't be like, well, why can't, you know,

but he's black.

Well, he's the first guy to do it.

What do you mean?

Well, if he's the first black guy...

He's the first black guy to jump over the Grand Canyon.

Yeah, it's something of note.

I guess, but...

But you're like, oh, he wasn't racist like the guy.

that jumped over the Grand Canyon.

If a racist guy that didn't know how to ride a motorcycle,

they couldn't tie his own shoes, jumped over the Grand Canyon,

and then the best black motorcycle guy in the world did it, I wouldn't be like, wow.

You know what I mean?

But if a racist guy did it, you'd be like, incredible.

Particularly incompetent if a racist guy did it on a tricycle.

But if you, okay, imagine the president.

This guy's got some bad ideas.

So in high school, they say class council is just a popularity contest, right?

This is someone that was already incredibly popular.

So it's not

incompetence.

No one's looking at his resume before they vote for him.

They're looking at who's more popular

in their mind.

So it's not like he was from the slums of Calcutta.

Who Donald Trump?

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't say he was from the slums of Calcutta.

No, I'm just saying, like,

he was already a very famous person.

You need something.

I mean, obviously, it couldn't be.

That's how he became the president.

Yeah, there's.

Because people liked his show.

But there's all...

Alright, whatever.

You don't need to all right, whatever.

There's all these other things.

Like what?

Him being racist?

You think there are people that are like...

One thing.

I'm saying there's all these other things that disqualify people.

You think there are...

Okay.

You think that there were people in the ballot box.

Mitt Romney, already

popular.

People, you know.

He wasn't popular.

He was popular.

He was one of the biggest.

No, he wasn't.

No one liked him ever.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm just saying Donald Trump won because he was more...

Because he was...

I'm just trying to have a good day and feel.

I'm just saying that.

Okay.

I'm just trying to fuel...

Try to look at the bright side of things.

What, that Barack, it wasn't that impressive that Barack Obama.

That's not what I said.

I said that it's e it's there's also an impressive element to

whatever, fine, you're right.

No, it's not a debate, it's a thought exercise, right?

What do you mean?

I don't know.

I guess you tell me.

You you presented this, right?

Okay.

I mean, Donald Trump was in home alone too.

Yeah, but so was, uh, what's his name?

Joe Pesci.

He's not president.

He could.

I mean, he could have been.

No, he can't.

He's 5'4 ⁇ .

What do you mean?

He's like Rudy.

There have been 5'4s.

Who?

John Quincy Adams?

Madison.

Madison was 5'4?

Yeah.

That's awesome.

I mean, everyone was 5'4 back then.

I don't think so.

That's not true.

Both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were over 6 feet.

George Washington was a giant.

But Thomas Jefferson was tall, too.

Yeah.

Thomas Jefferson.

Washington was 6'3, I think.

Yeah, Thomas Jefferson was 6'2.

Yeah.

Everyone was like two feet tall back then.

Yeah, James Andrew Jackson, 6'1.

Wait, did I get it right on Madison?

This is fucking.

It says Franklin Roosevelt 6'2, but it's like, hmm.

Yeah.

Come on.

Shortest ever.

Let's be honest.

I think James Madison is the shortest ever.

Wait, is Lincoln the tallest ever?

I think so.

He's like 7'2?

Yeah.

He was 6'4.

But what it like.

6'4?

They should have Betelgeuse as president.

That'd be cool.

That'd be great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That you, if Betelgeuse became the president post-Obama, becoming the second black president, it would, in my estimation, be a greater triumph.

It'd be more impressive.

I'll grant you that.

You think he's a Republican, no?

You saw the

Bill Maher episode of Stern, where he said that he's a...

Support for the Adam Friedland Show is brought to you.

Support for the Adam Friedland Show is brought to you by Manscaped, who is the best...

Is it supposed to be who?

Who are, who, or who is?

Support for...

Adam Friedland Show is brought to you by Manscaped, who is the best in men's.

You can't say that about company who.

Yeah, no, you can't say that.

No.

Support for the Adam Freeland Show is brought to you by Manscaped, who it should be are the best, right?

Who are the best in men's below-the-waist grooming.

I would say Manscaped, the best in men's below-the-waisting.

They want us to read it exactly like that.

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Ginsburg, can we get the package out here?

Yeah, one second.

Thanks.

Now, full disclosure,

we already opened the package.

Yeah, we used it on our balls.

Yeah, so normally we should have waited, but we thought it was Dave's shoes.

So we opened the box by accident to make fun of Dave's shoes.

It turns out it was a ball trimmer.

It was products that Manscaped has sent us to try and we thank them.

Now,

we did a read years ago for Manscaped, and they sent stuff and I think their product line has expanded

significantly.

They're huge.

Significantly.

I think partially

we can't take credit for it, but you know what we're all thinking.

Yeah, so they sent us a bunch of stuff.

Let's hear it.

Let's see it.

So this is their performance package, the ultimate men's hygiene bundle.

Okay.

I don't, also I don't know if it actually comes with the shirt.

I think they just sent

that's for us.

That's for us.

They sent us shirts.

Nice shirt.

What brand is this?

Oh, it's white-labeled.

It's big.

They white-labeled the shirts.

Okay.

We have the Crop Reviver.

Well, hold on.

Let me read this.

Okay, go ahead.

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That's a lot of customers.

A lot of guys.

8 million.

That's a lot.

That would be even a lot, even for just

a face razor.

Yeah, that's impressive.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a lot.

Makes you wonder why they're advertising.

No, it doesn't.

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Look at this.

If my math is correct, that's about 16 million balls.

And that's in reference to the 8 million men.

And I'd say

that's a little, you know, if you've had testicular cancer, you've only got one man.

That's sensitive.

You're still a man.

So

don't let this copy bully you into thinking you're not a man if you have one ball.

Maybe they've done the math and it's been offset by the guys that are born with three balls.

How many of those guys are?

I have no idea.

Adam, have you ever hurt your genitals

constantly?

Yeah.

What happened?

You have a story about a time that you've...

Oh my god.

Don't get me started.

I was

about to,

you know,

make whoopee.

Yeah.

And I noticed that my pubes were longer than the tip of my cock.

And I was like, what am I going to do?

And I used rusty shears.

And I almost completely cut off my own penis.

Yeah.

It was hanging on by what the doctor said was

just, you know, one layer of skin.

You know, I tell you, it was just Labor Day.

So we can relay

a piece of labor history as it relates to

the landscape.

One of the biggest L's

in

labor history is the

Australia's biggest union.

They're like

the guys that organized the sheep shearers.

They had a rule in the 1920s that banned people from using,

you know, they would have the clippers and the clippers back then, I think they were all like belt-driven or something, but they had these weird metal arms that would attach to them.

There's guys that would, they were,

like the most talented ones, they call them gun shearers or whatever, because they were the fastest and you got paid by how many sheep you could put on the board by the end of the day.

And so they'd bring all the sheep in, they'd shear them.

And the union dictated that you couldn't use combs that were wide.

There was like a width limit to the combs.

And it wasn't based on anything other than the guys that were the best at the job would use the wide combs.

And so they would do it faster.

Oh, is it cheating?

Well, it's not cheating.

I mean, it made them more productive, I guess.

And so they made a rule against it.

And in the 1970s, all these day laborers would come over from New Zealand.

And in violation of the union's rules, rules they would use the wide shears

and and then it turned into this big thing that were like people would fight in the streets about it it was like this whole big issue over these New Zealand guys using the wide shears because they were better and eventually the and they were non-union

yeah they might have been or you know I don't know they tried to I don't know if they were were non-union or they were in the union they were doing it anyways I don't I don't remember all the details point is these are the equivalent this is like the chat GPT of

I know what you're saying.

We all know what you're saying.

We all know.

We all know.

They work better.

In a lot of ways, you'd say the guys that were using the small ones that were less talented, sort of the Donald Trumps to the wide shears, Barack Obama.

And through sheer stick-to-itiveness,

they

hear that?

Why don't you do a little slash in your eyebrows?

You can do that.

I'm not going to do that.

Yeah, so you hurt yourself with

rusty scissors.

Oh, my gosh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

these will reduce the chance of nicks and cuts.

And it's waterproof.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, so you can use it.

So you can do it in a pool.

Yeah, well, shower.

I don't know if you do it in a pool.

So the performance package 4.0 has arrived, and oh man, is it a game changer?

Inside this package, you'll find their lawnmower 4.0, which this might be that.

I think it is.

Okay.

I don't really see labels on here.

It doesn't say.

There's this thing also.

Nose trimmer.

These all look like accessories.

I don't know.

Oh, these are boxers that come with it.

So there's special underwear you can put on.

Nice.

These are different combs.

So these are some type of liquid.

It's a toner for your bowl.

Crop, yeah, ball toner.

Yeah.

And this is, oh, here we go.

It's all labeled here so they got the crop mop no those are a different product

oh other these are additional products you might like okay all right

listen folks all right hold on you find the lawnmower

4.0 trimmer that's this

the weed whacker ear and nose hair trimmer and you already shoved that in your nose when it showed up i needed it

And crop preserver ball deodorant, that's one of those.

Yep.

Performance boxer briefs.

briefs, so it does come with the boxer briefs, and then there's a

daub kit under here.

Look, you get this nice

take it on the road, nice thing.

This

is called the shed

storage bag, okay.

And then there's a newspaper, yeah.

What's it saying there?

It's an old-timey newspaper, so you can be in journalism, and it gives you

how to do it.

This is a big newspaper, yeah.

Obituaries.

They got obituaries.

Okay.

That's funny.

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That's this one here.

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I bet that would be painful to have your nose hair ripped out.

I guess you don't have to worry about that with this thing here.

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So yeah, the shirts, I think those are just for us.

Just for us.

Just for us.

And I'll wear that with pride.

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And yeah, so they're waterproof, they reduce foot owner.

Lawnmower 4.0 helps reduce nicks, reduces the risks of ingrown hairs, and reduces the risk of grooming accidents.

And

what I would say about this is this is, it's got a nice feel to it.

Oh my gosh.

Wow.

I mean, this is like heavy duty.

It is.

You could feel it.

This isn't some Chinese crap.

This is made in China, actually.

All right.

This is Chinese.

But the the good kind.

Yeah.

Well, China makes good shit now.

Oh, great.

If you're anti-Chinese manufacturing, you're just, I think you're just a racist.

No, it's like an older thing.

Yeah.

In the 80s, it was Japanese.

They were like, oh, I don't want to.

Yeah.

And then Sony came out.

And they were like, oh, they do a hell of a job.

They failed it with consumer electronics.

And then

Korean stuff was like.

And then Samsung?

Well, yeah, they used to just make...

Koreans would just make fucking like toasters and like oscillating fans.

Daewoo.

Yeah, and then they had shitty cars and it was Hyundai that f flipped the flipped the script on them.

And Kia.

Yeah, well Hyundai did it.

I'm pretty sure, if I remember correctly, it was Hyundai that did it because Hyundai, they made shitty cars, but they would they offered like uh like the for it was like a 10-year

warranty.

Yeah, I remember that.

So you could just buy a shitty car and just have the engine replaced 17 times.

It's not a bad deal.

Yeah, no, and that that's not a bad deal.

That that changed people's perception of Hyundai.

Yeah.

And now look at Korean.

They're not sponsoring the show, but shout out to them.

And shout out to Daewoo

and

everyone around the world.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I think that was a comprehensive ad read.

Yeah.

And it was a word perfect.

Yeah.

My ad.

Well, we got to stick to the script because the free songs.

I mean, are we allowed to say?

Yeah.

I was going to say.

We had a big problem with apparently our

Batman, that whole thing we did.

They didn't like it.

Yeah, so we'll try this.

Hopefully they enjoy it.

And if not, then...

Is it the same ad buyer?

It used the old show, we got away with a lot more stuff because people couldn't see us.

So they could imagine whatever they want in their head.

It gave them 40 minutes on those pipes.

When it's two little worm men and you can see us as long as we're the same.

And we're like,

oh, what the hell is this?

CBD gummies?

Where do you put that?

Your ass?

That's funny.

And people just don't like our faces, I guess.

No, we have nice faces.

I think it's that's the problem.

No, those pipe guys are like those fucking like cannabis culture snobs.

We were like doing too many riffs and they're like, we take weed seriously.

Yeah.

He got pissed at us.

Remember how

back in the day, I feel like everyone had this opinion that like the main reason to legalize weed,

unless, you know, I mean, A, there's a bunch of people in prison for nonviolent offenses.

Yeah.

That's kind of fucked up.

But secondary to that is to kill weed culture.

You know, because you can't be like a pothead if it's a thing that's legal.

Yeah.

Nobody's like, dude, Skittles, you know, like,

oh, man, I love watching Rick and Moore.

I think it worked.

It did not work.

It made it worse.

Now that it's legal, the fucking weed guys are way worse.

How many obnoxious weed guys do you know in your own life?

Not personally, but I don't know many people.

I don't know.

I used to know a ton.

Because you were in college.

When I was younger,

I thought the day they legalized weed would be people would run into the streets.

It was like the end of Star Wars.

I thought it was

everyone like, finally.

And they did it quietly.

No one cared.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know?

I thought it was going to be the, the, you know, like a.

Are you watching The Mandalorian, by the way?

No, are you?

I think now that.

Should we get into it?

I've got a week sober.

Yeah.

How does it feel?

I feel better.

Proud of you.

I feel a lot better, honestly.

I fell off the wagon for a year, and then I kind of offset that by being vegan.

I was like, oh, dude, I'll do the right thing for the world and hurt myself.

Yeah, okay.

And then...

That kind of makes sense.

Yeah, I started eating fish again, and then I just, I completely fucking just, I stopped drinking.

But no booze.

Yeah, no booze, but I had nachos probably the next day.

Yeah, you walked into the studio carrying a bag of barbecue.

Yeah, almost immediately.

And you said that alcohol makes you depressed.

Yeah.

Well, I was already depressed.

Alcoholism is a symptom.

Sure.

You know?

Sure.

But yeah, no, I feel a lot better.

I feel a lot more stable.

So the Mandalorian.

I think that's a good test.

Because look, I'm an idiot, right?

Like, I should be.

That whole

Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Alex Jones, David Goliath, that was one of the smartest things ever.

Okay, go ahead.

I should be able to enjoy The Mandalorian.

As a dumb guy, I should be like, did you see what Boba Fett fucking his turns out his mom is Yoda or whatever the fuck happens on that show?

Is that what it is?

Stuff like that should make me just over the mood.

Someone of my intelligence, I should be delighted to find out that Yoda was a a baby at one point.

But you were never into that kind of stuff, though.

Yeah, I like Star Wars, but I was able to booze.

Prohibited you from that?

I don't think booze prohibited me.

I think I had an inability to enjoy.

And I spent 10 years sober prior to this, and a lot of that time as like, you know, what you call a dry drunk, you know, where you can't enjoy your life.

Also, just a cocaine addict.

That was the other thing, too.

I stopped doing cocaine and immediately started drinking again.

It was almost like clockwork.

I don't know if the timeline works that way.

It pretty much does, because it was members of the...

First of all, you weren't a cocaine addict.

You did a lot of Coke during COVID because everyone was getting fucked up.

Right, right.

But February is when we stopped.

It was in Chicago.

Remember?

You had a bad time.

I had a bad time, and then I stopped, and it was probably a week later I started drinking.

It's not we.

It's like you, like, I don't think you're making like deals with yourself, which is like, I guess, what addiction is, right?

You're like, I'll do this, I'll do that.

I'm making a different point.

And this is, it's a trite point, but it, and it's obvious, but.

The Mandalorian.

That I'm just not enjoying my life, and I should be.

And

like, a better test is not, because I'm very, I've also been very lucky.

Like,

the way things have worked out,

in spite of being Donald Trump, basically, a racist landlord and kind of a pretty bad guy, honestly.

Been very lucky to have a lot of things.

And I don't enjoy my life.

And it's not like I shouldn't look to the things that I have because those are sort of like unique right like it shouldn't be like okay well if I have this problem and I'm drinking or doing whatever like you know like doing things that are bad for me because I'm unhappy so I need to reorient figure out how to enjoy my life so I don't do those things rather than just abstaining from them it's not like I can look at these exceptional aspects of my life and find enjoyment in that because like what if I didn't have any of those things right I should try to find the things that I would enjoy if I had none of those things which would be stuff like The Mandalorian or Funko Pops.

And if that doesn't satisfy you, you'll pick up the bottle again.

No, that's not what I'm saying at all.

It's like I should figure out what mental work I need to do so that someone like me watches The Mandalorian and I enjoy it.

I don't know, maybe like hurt your brain.

I don't need to hurt my brain.

Maybe just like a traumatic brain injury.

No, not a traumatic brain injury.

Also, you should start at Andor.

I hear it's a little bit elevated from.

Is that a different show?

Yeah, I hear it's kind of more like pretty.

It's so funny that people waited 30 years for, well, not 30.

Well, yeah, well, no, hold on.

So each installment of the prequels, like they waited 20 years for the new Star Wars movies, right?

And those were dog shit.

And then we waited another 15 for the latest trilogy, and those were somehow even worse than the original, the prequels.

Right, so they got progressively shittier, but you had to wait all this time and then after the last series now It's it's just 24-7 Star Wars.

They're just pumping out more Star Wars.

And somehow they have no problem just making as much Star Wars.

I think it's Disney-bought Star Wars.

Okay.

All right.

I think that's what.

All right.

Well, then I'll stop talking.

I think that, listen, I don't think that you should use The Mandalorian for that.

As a litmus test.

No, I think you should just...

I think it's a matter of just like,

I don't know, just being kind to your friends and family.

And just like...

relationships and bonds.

You're talking about behavior.

It's not behavior.

No, it gives life meaning.

I am

nice to my family and friends.

But that's what matters at the end of the day.

Sure, it matters, but that's still just trying to use behavior to

change something internally.

Yeah, but maybe the problem is fixation with oneself.

No, maybe the problem is fixation with oneself.

In what way?

Just

like thinking about

whether or not

you can fix your ones.

I mean, like, okay,

in this conversation,

we'll game it out.

Here's why that's not the right answer.

It's not, I'll tell you.

Because there's plenty of people that do that.

They feel miserable, and then either they self-harm or they do this thing where they say, okay, well, I'll just nullify myself and then focus on other people.

And then you're still sitting on the bottom.

It's not about nullifying yourself.

Yeah.

That's not what I'm advocating for.

What are you advocating for?

You said focus on...

At the end of the day, what matters truly is

having love and giving love.

I can't believe we're saying this on the show right now.

So then what is...

And I saw it in person when my mom passed away.

Yeah.

And I didn't realize it until then.

But that's the only thing that makes sense to me.

Yeah.

And those are the people you want around

yourself at that time.

That's a completely separate thing from what I'm talking about.

How?

In your day-to-day life.

I'm not saying use that.

I'm not saying use that to fix one's own brain, right?

What I'm saying is, think about what matters and think about what gives life meaning.

Well, I'm not, yeah, those things, those bigger questions are almost, they're easier to fixate on and find answers to than just like

enjoying the day-to-day moments in your life that are banal.

Uh-huh.

And if you.

I'm not rejecting the Mandalorian thing.

I think you might be onto something.

Yeah, it might be.

If it's nice to watch Mandalorian and it makes you feel good, that sounds awesome.

Yeah.

That sounds fucking awesome.

But I'm saying your experience watching Mandalorian

is not.

Because if you want to flip it and try to make it an ego thing.

If you want to flip and make it an ego thing, it's like, and that's why, you know,

it's inherent in your statement.

You need brain damage to enjoy the Mandalorian.

No, I was just kidding.

I was being a snob.

Exactly.

You're being snobbed.

My dad loves Mandalorian.

Being a snob is an extension of an overemphasis on the self and being an egotist.

I watch all Marvel and stuff.

I know it's.

You're too good for The Mandalorian.

I don't know.

Maybe I'd like it.

I watch all crap.

I think we should watch The Mandalorian.

I'd be happy to watch Mandalorian after that.

I'd like to sit there until we're like, hell yeah, baby Yoda.

I mean, it's nice.

They spent a lot of money on it.

It's there.

You know?

It's nice.

You know?

It doesn't matter if it's good.

It's just there.

Well, why are you saying it doesn't matter if it's good?

Because I watch all the Marvel movies.

But you're still watching them with the understanding that they're bad.

No, it's just there.

They did it.

They made the thing.

I don't care about Black Adam, but I watched it.

Okay.

I don't care about Shazam, which I watched on Sunday.

But Shazam's old.

No, it's a new.

Oh, I'm thinking of it.

It's not the Shaq one.

It's DC Comics.

Kazam.

Kazam.

Kazam.

Yeah.

No, it's just, it's there.

I think the whole thing of complaining about that kind of crap is useless.

It's just where that's what's that's what's there.

But can you enjoy it?

Yeah, kind of.

Yeah.

Because it's there.

All right.

Yeah.

They used to make other crap.

Maybe I would enjoy The The Mandalorian.

It's not a matter of making you feel right about yourself.

It's not a matter of you watching Mandalorian and feeling at peace with oneself.

But it's not the behavior.

It's just there.

But the behavior itself is not going to do it.

Something needs to change internally that will enable me to enjoy The Mandalorian.

I don't disagree.

I'm not.

I don't disagree.

Facetiously, as a joke.

I don't disagree.

I said we should sit down and watch The Mandalorian Times.

I'm happy to.

And what I'm saying is I should sit down and do whatever needs to be done so that

if and when I do sit down and watch The Mandalorian, I say, tell me more about Boba Fett's mom.

But what if you're farther along

and I just slap that shit on and you watch it and you just, you're like, all right,

let's see what happens.

I don't think that's the right answer.

Why?

I think.

But maybe that tells you that shit isn't as bad as you think it is.

What do you mean?

You think that you're not intellectually capable, okay, of letting that shit wash over you, right?

Because

you're not right with yourself, right?

Yeah.

What if you just put it on and it just washes over you and you're like, this is fine, right?

Maybe you'll find that you are more right with yourself than you gave yourself credit for.

Maybe.

Maybe everything isn't as dire as you're prescribing for one thing, for yourself.

I'm not saying anything is dire.

I'm just saying like maybe you just put that crap on and it feels okay.

Or it just feels like fine.

And fine is good too.

I think you should be excited about it.

I don't think.

I think you should go to Comic-Con.

I think so.

I think you should go.

I think so.

Then you're losing me.

Why?

Because it's just, what does that prove?

Imagine if you met data.

You met data from Sarah.

That would be awesome.

Okay.

Yeah.

And that's just a complaint.

And Data wouldn't give a fuck if I met him.

But that's the promise of Comic-Con, is that you're going to meet Data.

No, you're going to meet the guy that played Data.

But he'll be Data.

He's not going to do Data.

He's going to be like, I'm a guy and I'm doing this for a check.

I felt really bad when I said that to Ernie Hudson.

What'd you say?

I said, you probably do Comic-Cons and stuff.

And he's like,

he's like, what do you mean?

Like, I have to.

I didn't realize it was condescending.

But I thought, because he's like part of a nostalgia media property.

It's rude, I guess.

I didn't mean it in a rude way.

Yeah.

It's rude, right?

Yeah, I mean, it seemed like he was kind of offended by it.

Are we going to go to

Comic-Con kind of stuff or Compton Town?

No.

In fact, that's why this is a good idea.

I definitely will.

For a check, I'll do anything.

With Alex Jones.

I mean, you'll probably...

This has been a wild run.

You will probably do a genocide.

What do you mean, a genocide?

You accused me of

homophobic potential hate crime yesterday.

It was.

No, it wasn't.

No, it wasn't.

Well, it was uncomfortable.

No, it wasn't.

What do you mean, uncomfortable to be around?

It was uncomfortable to be around.

No,

you were deliberately doing something that you knew was embarrassing for me in a costume shop.

And then you said that I was reacting to it because of my homophobia, not because I saw that you

were trying to do something that you knew was embarrassing for me.

I did not think, first of all, you were trying to have me put on a costume

that I had expressed to you over a week.

I thought it would be funny, and you agreed it was funny, and you think it's funny.

In retrospect, I said I'll do anything for the show.

And if it's not.

Stay tuned.

Stay tuned.

I will be wearing the costume on the next episode.

Don't blow it, don't blow it, don't blow it, don't blow it.

What's the costume?

They don't know.

It doesn't matter.

Point is, it's not to embarrass you.

It is about

it's funny.

I had expressed to you.

When was your option?

Would it have been funnier?

Would it have been funnier?

Would it have been funnier?

It would.

I'll do it for the show.

I'll do it for the show.

Okay.

You wouldn't have won.

You wouldn't have worn mine.

It wouldn't make sense.

No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You wouldn't have worn that costume.

If it was funnier, yes.

And it would have made it funnier, yes.

And it would have been funny if you wore it.

It wouldn't have been funnier.

That is the thing with it.

It would have been as funny, probably.

Funnier.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Now.

So, Alex Jones.

A genocide.

Okay.

Okay, how do you suspect I'll commit a genocide at some point?

And again, back to the original point.

Go ahead.

I am being optimistic for you.

Oh, that's an accomplishment.

Yes.

Okay.

The amount of people that I've killed is

kind of inefficient.

I guess, you know what?

That's a little different.

That wouldn't be.

I think it's wrong, personally.

It is usually little worm men that do the genocides.

What do you mean, worm men?

I thought you said we were both worm men.

Okay, yeah.

We're probably, me and you are probably most likely to do a genocide.

Hasn't Alf ever done one?

You'll probably own a car dealership or a string of them.

No,

I'm too lazy.

I'm too lazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I think the sky's the limit.

For me?

Yeah.

Auto dealership?

That's the sky?

No.

I don't know.

I mean, we'll see what happens with this show.

We got to get enough money for the right cameras at some point.

Yeah.

It's got to go up.

It has to.

We got to figure out how to turn this into a camera.

Somehow we did everything backwards.

We figured out how to make the show profitable before it was a show.

Yep.

And then the show came out.

And then it became a show.

And now people hate it.

So it's bad?

It's not bad.

It's very good.

I think people like it.

Watching the show, it's one of the only things I've ever felt proud about.

It's really cool.

It's really cool.

It is genuinely a good show.

It's something that didn't exist.

The Ernie Hudson episode is great.

It's something that didn't exist before.

Yeah, that's how.

That's cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But what are they?

Who cares about them?

Well, I mean, you know, you care.

You have to balance it.

Some business you got to run.

The books aren't balanced.

they're balanced yeah yeah they are balanced yeah but how do we go bigger you gotta be thinking bigger bigger bigger bigger bigger

how can we make the show bigger is that where genocide comes into play or no i don't think i don't want i don't want to i don't want to do genocide i don't like genocide yeah

i don't think that was the wrong answer maybe you'll make maybe you'll be directing the mandalorian in 20 years Is it still going to be out?

Yeah.

Or whatever the new Star Wars is.

I believe you could do that.

No,

I think you could do it.

What, directly new Star Wars?

I think you'd be out.

I'll probably be dead.

Not even dead.

I'll probably be dead.

Why?

I don't know.

I think I'm dying.

Your own.

How do you know?

I just don't feel good.

I swear to God, and I'll say it to you right now, on camera,

I'll die before you.

Out of respect.

No chance.

What do you mean?

No chance.

Why?

It's just not going to happen.

Why?

It's just not going to happen.

You're in good shape.

Everybody knows that I'm not in good shape.

I'm in terrible shape.

How do you know?

I'm out of breath standing up from the toilet.

From the toilet?

Yeah.

And I'm not even shitting.

I just hang out in there.

I stand up and I'm like, oh, boy.

It's probably because you're thinking about if the Mandalorian will make you ultimately happy.

It's not.

God.

I know, I know.

I'm misinterpreting on purpose.

I get what you're saying.

Will I be happy enough to enjoy the Mandalorian?

I know what you're saying.

I mean, it's a pathetic thought, but I know what you're saying.

I'm not happy enough.

But primed

for happiness.

You shouldn't be, look, staying in a perpetual state of happiness is impossible.

Yeah.

But you should be in a perpetual state of being open to the possibility of happiness.

In the same way that, like, you know, when people like, they get out of a relationship, they're damaged, they can't, you you know, it's like they just can't connect with somebody, right?

Maybe they meet somebody and it would have worked, but they're just in this fucking too hurt.

They're right, they're shut off, yeah.

Too wrong.

Mechanism, yeah, it needs to be reset.

Now, the same works for enjoying the Mandalorian.

Yeah.

You know, the Sopranos ended 20 years ago.

It's time to move on.

And maybe the Mandalorian isn't as good as the Soprano.

Can I go bigger?

Yeah.

Zoom out bigger.

It's really sad that you know you're alive and in knowing that you know you're gonna die, right?

That is a truth that we all know and that we all live with constantly.

I guess some might say that underneath everything there is a existential dread that that informs every it's really sad that we will stop thinking at a certain point, right?

So

the baseline of existence is a cruel, mean, awful joke.

Well, that's a that's all you have to

find.

Because look, you can't, you can't, you have a concept of infinity, right?

You understand it.

Infinity war?

No, infinity.

There's like this thing, or endlessness.

You understand that universe is endless.

It expands forever.

No, it's not endless, but it's expanding.

Well, I get whatever.

I don't fucking know you can get it.

Then what's outside of the universe?

I don't know.

But so you have a concept of...

No, I just want to be nice to my dog and my girlfriend and my friend.

That's all you can.

That's all you can handle you're turning this into you're this is a separate you're having a different conversation I'm just saying like if you if you're constantly riddled

and like you're constantly just like focusing on that which is a logical

a logical like thought no it's right it's not it's not logical

what

to to to like perseverate on on

Is that the right word?

On death.

I don't fucking know words.

You repeat a thing over and over again in your head.

I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die.

What are you talking about?

It's the saddest thing imaginable.

But it's not real, I guess, my mind.

Death?

Yeah, it's not.

What do you mean?

What happened?

No, nothing.

Because

you understand your life to be finite in relation to what?

There's no end point of time.

There's no anything else.

There's just your life.

Yeah, so your whole life is...

That's the entirety of everything.

So just be good to the people that you love.

No, but now you're...

That's all you can have.

That's all you can control.

You're just taking a conversation about one thing and turning it.

You're just

jumping into this needle point.

It's not needle point.

I'm just saying.

This like hobby lobby, you know, placard.

Maybe it's not.

What?

Maybe it's not.

What do you mean, maybe it's not?

I don't know.

Why are so many songs?

I don't know why.

You're pitching a problem that I say doesn't need to exist in your head, and then you're giving me a solution.

The problem of the fact that you're going to die doesn't need to exist.

It doesn't, yeah.

But you're saying that

you're saying the problem of not being able to enjoy Mandalorian does exist.

It does exist.

But I'm saying that doesn't stem from

a fact.

I'm just saying you just

do your best.

You do your best.

And it's never going to be good enough, but you just do your best.

That's it.

That's all you can do.

Right?

Sure, but that's like separate.

I don't like it.

Why?

Because it's like you're like, I'm scared I'm going to die.

Yeah, but if people are left on earth

an ad campaign at the end of it, you're saying, well, but but no, I don't care if it sounds corny.

I don't care if it sounds corny.

It's just if people are left having been impacted by your love,

I think that is a life.

That's the best you can do.

Beyond that, it's just fucking really sad.

It's really sad that you die.

Well, it doesn't, you don't really die, though.

Yes, you do.

No, you don't.

Yes, you do.

You only die from other people's perspective, which you can never have in your own head.

Your perception will always be the totality of your own existence.

Yeah, but then what happens after you're dead?

Nothing, because you don't, what happens is against.

I get what you're saying.

I get what you're saying, but it's, come on.

Why is it better to die then?

What?

Okay, I get what you're saying in theory, but in practicality, that's not not true.

Well, you don't seem to be any happier.

What do you mean?

You just say, oh, I just want to be good to my dog, and life is terrible otherwise.

That's all you can do.

No.

You can shift your perspective, and then you can enjoy the Mandalorian and just be good to your dog.

It's part of the same thing.

Be good to your dog.

It's part of the same thing.

It's part of the same thing.

Because you just happen to enjoy it.

Being good to your dog can be just as fine as watching the Mandalorian is.

It can be this non-thing and just a normal state of being.

And you don't have to use being nice to your dog, your family, or your friends as a coping mechanism.

It's not coping.

You diagnose your own problem, is that you have this perpetual fear of death and then prescribe.

Everyone does.

And if they know they're lying, they're projecting.

They're not lying.

No, that's not true.

They're not lying.

No,

some people are just nice to their family and friends and they just enjoy the Mandalorian.

That's all I'm saying is, like, there are certain...

No, no, there are certain realities.

There are certain realities.

The way you think.

No, no, no.

You're mischaracterizing my argument.

The way you think.

No, you're mischaracterizing.

How watching The Mandalorian should be is the same as you should think.

You're mischaracterizing my argument.

I'm not mischaracterizing my reality.

Yes, you are.

I think you're not understanding your own frame of reference.

What I'm saying is there are certain realities that are beyond our control.

It's like people in AA have to say this shit.

There are certain things we can control.

There are certain things we can't.

So we focus on the things we can control, which is like being good to your loved ones.

Or enjoying the Mandalorian.

Or enjoying the Mandalorian.

It's part of the same thing.

But you're saying, I have to be good to my loved ones because I'm going to die someday, and what impact am I going to have?

That's the only thing I've ever in my entire life been able to decipher that gives life meaning.

But every time you're nice to your dog, you're also thinking, I'm going to die someday.

No.

No.

I'm thinking that this is meaningful.

It's meaningful because...

Because I'm extracting meaning.

Because you're going to die someday and therefore it needs meaning.

No,

because I'm showing love to another being.

There's a negative relationship with life being meaningful because life being meaningful is a way to justify this fear of death that you have or placate it.

I know,

and it's really,

I don't know if I want to say this in public.

Then don't say it.

But I know

that from what I've seen

in practicality.

You haven't seen the Mandalorian.

That is the only thing, and it's from what I've learned, that is the only thing that

really

kind of makes sense.

You shouldn't look for meaning in life.

You should just be able to exist within the suchness of it.

In the same way, like whatever.

It's the point I just...

Made.

Then what are you fucking like?

Come on.

That's not how people exist.

People are emotional beings.

You can be emotional, but if everything has this underline of, oh, I'm going to die, I need to find meaning, you're existing on these two extremes, right?

Where it's life is this tragic, sad thing, or it has meaning.

No, that is something that is in the background constantly.

And then there's all these people.

There is no either or, right?

I'm not denying that I'm going to die if I have me, if I extract meaning from life.

You're not going to deny, but you balance it in a certain way.

It's It's finding a balance between these two things.

You shouldn't be looking to balance these two extremes.

You should be looking to remove the extremes.

I'm not going to be afraid of that.

Because there is no meaning.

Because just in the same way that life gives meaning, you know, like life having meaning kind of makes it okay that you're going to die someday.

Otherwise, why wouldn't you kill yourself or any of these other things?

What's the point of living if you're just going to die anyways?

Whatever.

Life has meaning, so you stay alive, and that sort of like, you know, allays this underlying fear or sadness about know, the tragedy of death.

Yeah, correct.

Right.

So.

Or you believe in heaven.

Yeah.

So you're always operating.

Or you believe in a

faith system.

This is the negative one.

Death is Roman Polanski raping the little girl.

And then life having meaning is Chinatown.

Right.

And instead of the two things existing at once, either this great piece of art or this grand tragedy, let's forget about Chinatown.

Let's forget about the Roman Polanski raping people.

Let's watch The Mandalorian.

Right in the middle.

Yeah.

You see what I'm saying?

Right in the middle.

Are you being up to some purpose or am I not making any sense?

No, you're making sense.

I just don't.

I'm just saying that like there is

a tragic truth that underpins everything, right?

No, it's not our best.

And all we can do is.

It's not a truth.

In my opinion.

Okay?

It's no, but it's not a truth.

Because here's the thing.

All we can do is our best.

You're making all these intrinsic statements about death.

I'm saying what makes sense to me.

Like death being a tragedy is perception.

So it's nothing.

It's badass.

That's badass.

It's not about being bad.

Why is it sad when a young person dies?

Why is it sad when someone dies unnecessarily?

Why is it sad when someone gets killed?

Then why is it sad?

You're still looking for an intrinsic statement.

So

if someone gets killed, if someone gets shot to death,

you say that why is this intrinsically sad?

You're talking about somebody being murdered and an injustice.

So why why is it an injustice?

Okay, so everyone should constantly be sad about the fact that

it's very simple.

And cognition is finite.

And we're very lucky to experience it and it's really sad when we can't experience it anymore.

You know?

All right.

Well, go ahead and

enjoy it.

What?

Go ahead and be nice to your dog and not enjoy it.

That's what you're advocating for.

I'm not advocating for that.

I'm advocating for petting your dog without the context of death being involved at all.

No, I'm saying that is what I choose to fill my life with to extract meaning.

To cope.

Extracting meaning is coping.

Oh, yeah.

With this other thing.

It's badass.

It's Bukowski, dude.

It's not Bukowski.

You smokes some sigs.

It's not Bukowski.

You're badass, dude.

Come on.

Yeah.

No, no.

We're not even speaking at cross-purposes right now.

No, we are, though.

No, we're not.

Yes, we are, because you're not, you're not, that's not what I'm saying.

It's not like, oh, you're saying

you're trying to say that I have some nihilistic approach to the thing, and I'm not at all.

It's that there's a way to just pet your dog and enjoy it, and enjoy it for that without it giving your life meaning to cope with this other thing.

I'm not doing it to cope with the other things.

I'm doing that because that is how I choose to

spend

what I have of cognition.

But that shouldn't enter into your mind.

Why?

Because you can just enjoy petting the dog.

I would rather do that than fucking

wasting my time

doing some other shit.

Yeah.

I would.

It's better for me.

For me.

It's a personal choice.

It's better.

Okay.

And I'm not saying I'm spending my whole life loving

motherfucking

pervert.

No, I'm just like,

that's what seems meaningful, in my opinion.

That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

I'm not a very smart person.

That's the only thing that's, to me, I can...

that's ever

what you need to do is figure out I'm not petting my dog to

to to uh cope with death I'm petting my dog because uh that's how I want to s spend my life

Right?

Yeah.

But what you need to do is you need to figure out how to watch The Mandalorian and not be thinking about...

I do that kind of shit, dude.

Okay.

I watch the multiverse of Madness.

Then maybe start there and figure out how to pet your dog as if you were watching The Mandalorian.

You're a freak.

You're a fucking freak.

It's not all

you're a freak.

I'm not a freak.

You're a freak.

I make sense to me.

I'm right and you're wrong.

I make sense to me.

I know.

It's not a matter of right and wrong.

It doesn't even exist here.

But maybe it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

You can choose to live your life that way.

That's how I choose to live my life.

And I'm going to try and figure out how to fucking have my eyes roll back in my head and drool all over myself watching The Mandalorian.

And those two things are.

They're different, yeah.

They're different.

They are different.

I thought you said they're the same.

They are the same.

The sensation of doing that.

In terms of objective reality, they are different people.

They all get it.

But who cares?

Well, you obviously do.

Otherwise, you wouldn't have had the conversation.

What?

You care.

You sort of the conversation.

You, no, I was trying to talk about fucking Chinatown.

What?

You sort of it.

Alright, well, what I started, you started.

It doesn't matter.

What do you mean?

I'm glad the cameras are working.

Are we going to put this crap out?

Instead of what?

We have to.

It's so embarrassing.

Acting this way in public is just...

I'm not.

I don't know.

You're smart enough to

pop off in these ways.

I don't care.

Yeah, but I'm like, I'm shy because it's

like I'm...

Who cares?

I'm a simple man.

This is just the pod.

This is a free podcast.

Yeah, but I don't know.

They're seeing it with video and stuff.

It's fun.

It's a free podcast.

They want to hear it.

That helps out.

That helps fund

the talk show that we want to do.

A new episode will be out very shortly.

It's our most ambitious to date.

Don't stop overpromising.

I mean it.

It is.

Okay.

You agree.

I'm happy with it, but I don't want to.

You can't be happy with anything.

I'm happy.

What the fuck are you talking about?

No.

That's your fucking flaw.

Anytime anything good happens you have to convince yourself you're really sad you've put you put that you're such a bitch dude that's not true you're saying i just i've been saying i'm happy i'm happy with no you've been since we did that yesterday you've been like a little

moody no i haven't i'm relaxed you all day you've been saying what's wrong what's wrong and i tell you nothing is wrong i feel fine

i feel good i feel good about yesterday it's a beautiful day outside Yeah, so let's enjoy this day.

I am enjoying it.

Well, we're in this windowless room.

That's where the studio is.

Let's just go watch Mandalorian.

Let's try it out.

I don't want to watch Mandalorian in the afternoon.

I'll watch Mandalorian later.

Also, we have more work to do.

We got to get this all.

Me and Ginsburg got to work all night.

All night?

It's going to be a lot.

It's already fucking.

What is it?

It's like, yeah, it's almost three o'clock.

We'll fly out at fucking 6 a.m., dude.

You don't have to be here.

All right.

We'll get

everything set up.

Thanks for joining us, folks.

Did I sound like an idiot?

We both sound like idiots.

No, you're saying probably better things.

No, I don't think you sound like an idiot.

This is Bethany Frankl from Just Be with Bethany Frankl.

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