Ep. P02 – Hot Flashes

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And we're off.

And we're off.

And tonight we're going to party like it's 2023.

Welcome to the future, ladies and gentlemen.

It's Adam Friedland and Nick Mullen.

And this is the Adam Friedland Show podcast.

Is that correct?

This is the Adam Friedland Show podcast.

We are back.

We are back from our winter,

from the holidays.

I was in...

The dark continent, the heart of darkness.

I was in Africa.

I was in South Africa.

I was visiting my grandmother.

Had a nice time.

I met a couple of people that liked the show.

Thank you for everyone that

shouted at the show when I was there.

Adam was proud of this.

He said it was mostly black black women.

Bapaks.

Bapak.

But no, but what?

Ba-walks.

Yeah.

You know what?

Bee Walks.

I told you they're called.

We took a week off from the show.

I don't know.

I don't remember how to do this.

No way.

I don't.

I don't.

What do you mean?

You got broadcasting in your blood, baby.

We have to take the headphones off here.

Yeah, take them off.

We got a lot going on.

We've missed a lot.

We missed a with there was a January 6th in Brazil.

Right up top.

Thanks to everyone who came out to San Jose on New Year's.

It was good to see you all.

I will be in Tampa this weekend and then at the end of the month, if you go to my website, mall.dog slash live dash shows, I am in Salt Lake City at the end of January

at whatever the club in Salt Lake City is.

Move those tickets, folks, please.

And then

I think

what?

What?

Oh, no, you had one more thing to say.

I thought you were about to end.

Oh, no.

Yeah, Salt Lake City.

Please come out.

Let me see what the exact date is here.

Okay, 26th through the 28th, Salt Lake City at Wise Guys Comedy Club.

I will be there.

You're definitely going to want to check out Nick.

And also, if you're in the Chicagoland area, Rosemond, Illinois, January 20th, 21st, I will be there.

That is next weekend.

We need to sell them ticks, baby boys and

baby girls.

And then I'm going to be at Helium in Philly the following weekend, January 26th through the 28th.

and then the Pittsburgh Improv in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, February 3rd through the 4th.

We're going to be doing some live Russian roulette on stage.

Yeah.

Deer hunter style.

I got to get a

little document.

I should have done this before we started.

I'm panicking because I forgot my credit card at a restaurant four days ago.

And I called, and they said they had it, and then I forgot that it was there again.

So what are you panicking about?

Well, I'm hoping they still have it.

I hope they didn't give me a deadline before they throw it away.

I don't think it would have been before.

Use it for purchases.

What if they went to Costco and bought a bunch of oatmeal?

Oat milk or oatmeal?

Oatmeal.

Yeah, I don't know.

That would be a disaster.

All right, we got a lot of things we got to talk about this week.

A lot has happened.

A lot has happened.

It's been a while.

You guys missed Avatar.

Adam went to Africa.

I went to my own Africa.

I saw Avatar 2, The Way of the Water.

And we'll get into that a little bit later.

Yeah, a lot of people have been in my DMs telling me to go back to Africa.

I went back.

Yeah.

And now I'm back in the United States.

But there's a lot of big things.

I guess.

Should we bring up the

funniest thing happening this week?

Folks,

sexual assault.

Sexual assault is back.

That's how you know the pandemic's over because people are getting canceled.

People are raping.

We got a backlog of three years of pandemic rapes, and now the chickens have come home to roost.

What is roosting?

I think it's when they sit their fat asses on those eggs.

What does that mean?

When the chickens come home to roost?

It's when the hoes sit on the chicken.

The farmer's been out raping chickens, and then now they're pandemic.

They come home and they're like,

is that what roosting is?

I believe so.

Well, the fellows are getting roosted.

The Comedy Central roost

of, you say it.

You say the guy's name.

I don't know him.

He's your friend.

He's not my friend.

You were like, this guy's so cool, dude.

Comedian Louis C.K., I think he's a big fan of Louis.

No,

not Louie.

Say it.

You say it.

Say his name.

Say his name.

We've had a lot of like near.

We almost got Kanye on the show before he said the swastika is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

We were very close.

And now we, yes, I think we can say it.

Who the fuck cares?

We were almost, we were, before we had Gene DiNapoli on the show, we had someone cancel.

And that person is in the

airplane.

Why are we afraid to say it?

We used to be unafraid to take, you know, those guys will say anything.

Now we're like, I don't know.

Now we have rant or something.

I would never say anything.

What are you talking about?

I would do racist voices.

That's not saying anything.

And racist words.

I'm doing, literally, I've spent the last six years doing Looney Tunes, 1940s Looney Tunes level comedy.

I stopped popping off about anything.

You were doing like, yeah, like.

Have you heard a fucking word from me about the vaccines?

You know how I feel about that shit.

I haven't said a word.

You have not said a word.

I've not, yeah.

I've spent the last two years keeping my mouth zipped up.

Yeah, that's why they call you, Nick, terms of service, Mullen.

Yeah, you used to be, I guess, yeah,

you were doing some goofy, like,

anti-Japanese, anti-German cartoons.

I'm basically Elmer Fudd.

I'm not fucking, I'm not Joe Rogan.

All right, yeah.

So we, well, I don't know.

I don't know if it was necessary to say we were going to have that fellow on the show, but.

No, you were all happy about it.

I wasn't happy about it.

I was happy.

We were trying to find a guest.

You were like, I'm texting him, and he's so cool.

I didn't actually end.

I got his number and said he was going to come on the show, and then he never responded because he had to.

I didn't even know who he was.

I didn't even know who he was.

I thought it was just one of Brandon Wardell's sneaker friends.

Yeah.

He's one of these Zoomers that gets famous for wearing sneakers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So anyway,

we could talk about it.

So talk about it.

It's your Adam Friedland.

It's your thing.

It's the thing that you've been reading about for the last time.

I've been reading about it for different reasons because I didn't know who the guy is.

And I'll get into my fascination.

I didn't really know who the guy is either.

Except you text with him all the time.

I don't text with him all the time.

Someone I know knows him, and he said he would come on the show and

did not respond to my reply and say, Are you down to shoot tomorrow?

What's the name of

his program?

Don't be afraid.

Why don't you say the name?

Because it's the Adam Friedland show.

So what?

I have to say that.

You have to take the lead.

This is center-left.

It's the time for you to do center-left.

So, okay.

Yeah, I guess we can go on the record and say we're going to have

this guy.

Say his name.

What do you mean?

Say his name.

I kind of forgot his name.

No, you didn't.

What's his name?

You say his name.

Andrew.

Andrew what?

Kunanan.

No.

Say his name.

Yeah.

We're going to have the guy, Callahan.

We're going to have him on the show.

There you go.

Yeah, and neither of us really knew who he was, but we knew that he had a lot of heat.

He had a lot of clout.

I didn't know anything.

I didn't really know anything either.

Yeah.

No.

I thought when they said he was a street journalist, I thought he was

one of those kids that's like, would you let your girl run train for $500,000?

I'll get who we do now.

I thought he was one of those kids.

This is the thing that blew me up.

I thought he was one of those guys with the cell phone that's like, would you watch your girl get trained?

I'm so fucking out of here.

Would you watch someone run train?

I'm out of the loop.

I had no idea.

I thought this was a guy that did like Wacky Man on the Street.

I thought it was Jay walking.

I thought he was doing...

I thought he was doing it.

I thought it was Billy on the street.

Yeah.

So now there's all this.

He's also been accused of...

There's all this hullabaloo about

a little,

you know, whatever he did.

I don't know.

I don't give a shit.

But

I'm reading the reactions

and seeing these.

And this is the thing.

I have no idea who any streamers are.

I didn't know.

I know Hassan.

I know Hassan, yeah.

That's the only streamer that I know.

Hassan, because I've had maybe one or two conversations with the guy.

And I know R.

Kelly.

He's another type of streamer, but that's the golden stream.

He is a streamer, but I don't consume any of this YouTube Zoomer culture stuff.

Yes.

Because I'm old.

And I, like I said, I thought this was just a comedy guy.

And the reactions from some of these children saying that they've lost the greatest journalist of their lifetime.

And I'm like, was this guy doing something I was not aware of?

And so I watch some of these videos and it's like, what?

He says nothing.

What do they think journalists?

I don't understand what it is.

Yeah, what is journalism?

Maybe it's making us seem really old.

Yeah, well, that's a thing.

Because I think a lot of our fans are probably really into that shit, too.

It's the principal Skinner thing where it's like, no, it's the children.

I'm going to assume that I'm wrong.

And I don't know what, quote unquote, this is an expression.

I don't know what this hip-hop music is.

This is a phrase I've seen numerous times in relation to this guy.

Groundbreaking journalism.

What does he do, though?

He just interviews like fat people and ugly people.

But it's not even interviews.

It's just like a bunch of cuts of going up to somebody wearing fireworks and a Donald Trump hat.

And they're like, would like say something.

And then, of course, it's fucking insane because they're like a living Facebook meme.

But even then, it's like the reaction as if this is an unseen part of American culture and not something that's been drilled down our fucking throats for the last four years as this dangerous threat.

Right.

That somebody's a fucking aunt on Facebook.

Yeah, interviewing mentally handicapped people has been like

something that's been going on for a very long time.

But they're not even mentally handicapped people, are they?

Well, I don't know.

Yeah, probably not.

You're just Donald Trump supporters.

Right, he's just interviewing basically bumper stickers.

Yeah.

He's going up to somebody in a parking lot with a bunch of fucking bumper stickers and say, hey, what's all this about?

And they're like, oh, yeah, fucking Obama's a lizard person.

And then people are like, wow, a dark side of American society.

As if not like what the entire world's impression of us is.

Yeah, right.

You know what I mean?

That's just an avatar for that's not

what we think.

You know what the dark side we are?

Look, and I'm sorry, not to make this about me, but you know what a dark side of American culture is?

Go off.

The hermit crab form.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

The people on the hermit crabs are

who knew about that before my quote-unquote ground

journalism.

You broke that.

They were just doing that on the internet.

It's fucking nuts.

And you did a journalism article.

No, it's nuts.

People are like, oh, well, he made this documentary about January 6th.

Wow, I haven't heard anything about January 6th.

Well, my girlfriend, she said,

they're acting like he did spotlight.

She said she watched it, and she said, by the way, she wouldn't have watched it had she not heard that he was accused of sexual assault.

I think it was good, probably good press for them.

But she said she watched it, and she said he didn't even go to January 6th.

Yeah.

He didn't show up because he got COVID.

Ariel Pink did, though.

Friend of the show.

Friend of the show.

Ariel Pink was there.

Yeah.

Best friend of the show.

He was there.

Ariel Pink was there.

John Mouse was there.

Ariel Pink was taking shots at Callahan on

somebody.

He's like, where's your boy Andrew?

No, but like you were saying yesterday, and Maya brought it up to me.

She was like, there was one good part where a guy was like, Hillary Clinton's a pedophile.

And then he looked up and he saw that the guy was a pedophile.

But like you were saying yesterday, like this guy, like, he was awesome.

Well, everybody made that point.

Everyone made that point.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's like,

so what?

This guy's saying Joe Biden's a pedophile.

But by that logic, he would also think that Joe Biden was a pedophile.

Yeah, but also, too, it's like...

I don't know if this guy's accused of pedophile.

I haven't even looked into.

I don't even think that's really how projection works.

It's like this guy might.

That's not what projection is.

This guy might hate something about himself, so when he recognizes it truthfully in other people, he also doesn't like that.

But that doesn't mean that Joe Biden's not a pedophile.

In fact, what this guy is.

We're also not saying he is a pedophile.

What this guy is, this QAnon guy at the end that's the pedophile or whatever,

he's basically, he's the movie Black Hat, you know, where like the FBI gets the best hacker in the world.

Who's also sexy and knows how to fight.

Right.

This guy is,

like, if who fucking, like, if I want to be like, who in this room is a garbage man?

You know who I'd ask?

My friend who's a garbage man.

I would say,

I would say, just based on your instinct, who else do you think would be a garbage man?

So,

like, projection or whatever you want to call it is a pretty useful tool.

Sure.

So, if I wanted to know who in government is a pedophile, who I would want making those accusations more than anybody is this weird old man that had sex with an eight-year-old boy.

Yeah.

Was that what that guy did?

But that's what I saw in that clip.

Who knows?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

It is very funny that he almost came on the show.

Yeah, it's weird because

I don't really pay attention to this stuff, but I just got so sucked into it seeing people act like fucking like they compare him to Hunter S.

Thompson.

Like Gonzo journalism.

Yeah.

Like, oh, like he was like fear and loathing on the campaign trail.

Yeah, but he also didn't go to January 6th.

He's just

a guy that just doesn't turn his phone off.

I don't understand.

Yeah.

Listen, we're trying to make a nice center-left.

Not for nothing, but this is a, this is, zoomers probably don't know this.

This is how people used to treat Tim Poole.

Like during Occupy, everyone was like, oh,

Tim Poole.

Yeah, everyone makes fun of that guy now.

Yeah, everyone hates him now.

For five minutes, people were respecting on that guy.

You were reading a really good one off that Reddit yesterday.

I told you to screenshot.

Oh, yeah.

Let me see that guy.

We just got to read these guys.

comments.

This is fucking insane.

Like, the thing that we're reacting to here is the reaction to it,

which is truly entertaining.

Which is not only truly entertaining, it's groundbreaking journalism.

The journalism, this is actual journalism, is just documenting these fucking 12-year-olds' response.

What are they saying?

This is from the Reddit.

All of this falling apart like this is on you.

We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch.

We had Saddam.

Whatever the fuck that is.

We had HBO.

Wait, Saddam Hussein?

A side damn?

Maybe that's one of the other guys in the fucking.

I don't fucking know.

We had HBO.

We had everything we ever needed.

It all ran like clockwork.

You could have shut your mouth, made content, and made as much money as you ever needed.

It was perfect.

But no, you just had to blow it up.

You and your dick and your ego.

You and your dick.

You just had to be the man.

If you'd done your interviews, left girls alone, we'd all be fine right now.

I mean, this is

insane.

It's insane.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

It's so sad, honestly.

Like, what do these people think?

Yeah.

I guess that's, I mean...

No, I got to check again.

Now you got me back into it.

We got to go, right?

We just got to read these comments the entire episode.

Channel five.

Nick was just sitting here reading these to me yesterday and I was dying.

Yeah.

I mean, I just, I don't get it.

I thought it was called all gas, no breaks.

There's a lot of people that are like, I can't believe this.

I bought all of the t-shirts.

Oh, they did the merch drops.

Yeah.

I guess that's how our guys act.

No, but we're not doing journalism.

I don't know anybody.

Nobody's regretted buying my t-shirts.

Yeah, I guess people like the t-shirts.

People have regretted thinking Come Town was ever funny, which that's fine.

Yeah, whatever.

The nature of humor is that it's ephemeral.

No, the nature of liking anything is like, oh, that was gay.

I never actually liked it.

Yeah, because it imbues narrative.

The crux of all this parasocial thing is that it is impossible to consume somebody from a distance as entertainment

and not expect

narrative arcs that are inculcated into people for millennia.

So that's why you always want to see a triumph and then a downfall or whatever.

That's a narrative.

No one wants to see it consistently.

I don't think it's based on any kind of

maliciousness in people that they want to see people fail.

It's that they can't, you know, it's they want a story.

You know what I mean?

But then after the downfall, they want the Phoenix rising from the ashes.

Maybe sometimes.

They want the returned to Jesus moment.

Well, I guess that's how you get that with, like, I mean, you know, who's very good at that, is the right.

That happens all the time.

It's fucking, well, I guess it's like liberals that just like rehabilitate people.

But remember when, because they did it with like Glenn Beck sort of kind of

glasses.

He put glasses.

He put the lenses.

He's got glasses.

People are like, oh, he thinks he can make a time machine.

They're like, actually, you remember Glenn Beck, that crazy bastard?

Yeah.

He actually thinks Donald Trump is

the funniest of all of them was when they did it with Sean Spicer, who has no political utility whatsoever.

Yeah, he was a nobody before.

He was fucking no.

He was a nobody.

Just some loser.

He was the end of the bench.

Yeah, right.

He was like one of the three guys that would work with Trump.

Yeah, and then they did the Sean Spicer welcome to the team thing.

And they were like, actually.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's just people wanting to cancel merchandise.

People are mad they bought hoodies.

Yeah.

That's wild, dude.

Yeah, I don't even really understand what a streamer is.

Does Hassan just do that all day long?

First of all, this is all Hassan's fault.

For being too sexy.

Literally.

That's, I mean, I kind of feel what you're saying.

No, literally, because, like,

Hassan, and look, I don't have a problem with Hassan.

I don't consume any of his content.

I don't really know anything about him.

I don't know how to.

We've had two or three conversations.

I know how to see on Twitter.

It's also whatever.

Yeah, the guy's sexy.

So that's how

he's a piece of ass.

That's the way the world works.

Attractive people get to do whatever they want, and you just feel good for them.

Yeah, you're like, go off.

Yeah, that's it.

But

Hassan will attract all of these people that think all you have to do is the politics, and then you can reach that level.

And you can't.

You're just going to be a different kind of rapist.

You know what I mean?

Hassan will never get.

Hassan could probably actually rape somebody and not get canceled because who's going to regret fucking that guy?

No.

You know what I mean?

It's impossible.

Nobody's going to ever look at that guy and be like, oh, what did I do?

You know what I mean?

It's just not going to happen.

With his strong arms.

Right.

He could rape somebody at two guns to their head.

Fucking just two nickel-plated 45s to their head.

Just fully raping them with a knife

and saying no the entire time.

And then Hassan will be like, yeah, so I'll call you later.

And he'll be like, okay.

Wow.

Wow.

Hassan likes me.

Yeah.

The problem is when you try to do the politics, but you don't look like that.

You don't look like that.

That's the problem.

That's the problem.

Tim Poole is that guy looks like shit.

Yeah.

Well, I don't think Tim Poole will rape anybody.

I'm just saying.

I'm just saying.

He'll get celebrated, but listen, dude, you're not sexy enough to be bulletproof.

The only two bulletproof, sexy men in America are probably Hassan and Donald J.

Trump.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Donald Trump just acts like a black guy.

That's what he's saying.

You're like, did you rape somebody?

He's like, let me put this straight to you.

I get pussy.

I get pussy.

No, we were talking about that the other night.

I remember they tried to cancel.

I don't even know if I want to say his name because he's my friend.

So they're like, how many women did you rape?

And he's like, seven, bitch.

He just doesn't care.

He just doesn't care at all.

Really?

Yeah, I don't know.

That happened?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow.

He was outside the salaries a couple years ago.

Did he do that as a bit?

That would be a good defense.

He does everything as a bit.

I don't know.

He doesn't, you know.

That would be

If there was like one real accusation and then you were like, actually, it's been thousands.

You just dilute it with a bit.

Yeah.

But really, I cannot believe this fucking, this journalism.

These kids are so mad.

Yeah.

Oh, there's people that want to kill themselves over it.

They want to, what?

And they think he's like Walter Kronkite or something?

Yeah, there's all these people like, oh, can you separate the art from the artist?

What art?

What fucking art?

Well, it's actually even easier.

I mean, I don't even know.

Maybe it is artistic or something.

Yeah.

Well, no, it's like, I don't know if I can watch fucking sham wow commercials anymore.

Oh, because that guy got beat by a prostitute.

Yeah, just this passive garbage that you just sort of, you know.

Whatever.

That guy's mugshot was the best.

The sham wow, man.

He's Israeli, right?

I think so.

Some sort of it some sort of Israelite.

Oh my god.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, that's the, I think you're on to it, though.

That's the main lesson here.

It's like, we can't, we just gotta let hot people cook.

Yeah.

That's how it was forever.

Yeah.

Throughout millennia.

They just let hot people do whatever they wanted.

Right.

And that was the system that all of society agreed upon.

Yeah.

Or an ugly, deranged, deranged, like, uh, you know, monarch, right?

That forced everyone to say he was hot.

They're like, okay, that's just the rule.

I don't know, am I being Curtis Yarvin or whatever?

I'm saying that we need, like, just a busted-ass monarch to tell us what to do.

Yeah, you assume you're going to start dressing like the life is good guy.

I love his rebrand.

Whatever this thing he's doing now.

What is it?

I don't know.

He got like dumb sunglasses.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Dude, I, yeah, we just like,

here's the thing, folks.

The kids, like, they really, you just need to go on YouTube and you just need to put in Jay Leno Jay Walking.

And just understand that great

journalism has been done before in the past.

People went on the street and they got people to say wacky things.

All the best good journalism is fictional.

Like what?

The movie The Insider.

Is that not true?

I don't think it is true.

It's based on a true thing.

I mean,

I guarantee you.

It's definitely pimper than what happened in real life.

Sure, that's what I mean.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Okay, yeah, you're absolutely right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just watching it.

What's Al Pacino's character's name in that movie?

I don't know.

He's based on a real guy whose name's like Leo Blank Fine.

Yeah, he was Noah Colwyn's professor.

Yeah, there's no way that guy in real life is anywhere close to Al Pacino.

No way.

There's no way.

No, it's just an old, ugly junior guy.

Maybe we could do a story about cigarettes.

I was around in the 60s in Berkeley.

Right.

I was a radical, and now I work for 60 minutes.

Yeah, and then you get the movie version of him.

He's like, I make the news, motherfucker.

The news.

And it's like, yeah, I don't think that's how that guy was.

Or is.

Yeah, just watch movies, guys.

Yeah, just watch that.

That's the answer.

Just watch movies.

Watch all the president's men.

Watch the Adam Friedland show.

Watch the Adam Friedland show.

We've got to figure out how we're getting this next episode out.

I know.

Well, we'll just do...

Well, we'll talk about it.

I guess, yeah.

We'll give you guys a little quick update.

Yeah, I got back on Sunday.

The studio is now fucking completely disassembled and being put back together.

Yeah, we're doing something.

But we are happy with the future.

We've been making do with lights.

We can't say the name, but we had...

The reason.

We cannot say the name.

We can't say the name, but the reason things

got kicked down the road so long is because we got lights for free.

Yes.

And then we accidentally.

And then we accidentally said who sent us the lights, and then the man who did it was fired.

Yes, he lost his job.

He lost his job.

We feel really bad about it.

We feel terrible about it.

We really do feel terrible about it.

And shout out to him.

They were also going to send lav mics and stuff like

20 grand worth of stuff.

But then I guess that didn't happen.

So we had to wait to see if that was going to happen.

And then we ended up having to purchase it on our own.

And then we got to set up a little like basically like a control room.

So there's a thing we weren't doing the entire time, but we need to be doing live switching during the interviews to make it easier on the editor.

It's the only way for us to actually be able to do the show because the fucking production turnaround after we put these episodes out is just not sustainable.

Yeah, it takes we had to hire two editors and then just like do final pass-throughs.

And I was up till three, all three episodes the night before they dropped.

Yeah.

Just like with the editor.

well which is which is very fun to do it's just like how it feels like the news baby yeah we just got to figure out how we can do that every single week in a way that you know also like you know we have to go tour and stuff um but um

yeah that should be that should be i guess you know we got dave and and the guy out here wrapping this up and then yeah that control room thing should be done and then we have a talent booker hired and then i guess there's a stop gap we should do more like an iPhone stuff.

We'll We'll do that.

Yeah, we'll just make.

Now that I know that you can be a groundbreaking journalist just by

asking someone if they would let their girl have

someone run train on their girl for $5,000?

Is that what he asked?

No, but have you seen these TikToks?

It's just like black teenagers with iPhones with doing man on the street.

And they just ask the stupidest questions.

They're like, Would you get for $5,000 watch your girl have

watch people run train on your girl and they're like I would I would sit there I would have popcorn

they they are very funny videos that that guy Sahib did a parody of those that was very funny shout out to him he will be at

Helium with me on

in two weekends time

and our friend of the show Caleb Pitts will be with me for the Chicago people he will be at Zani's Rosemont and he will also be in Pittsburgh with me.

And he's a very funny comedian, so we will be

whatever.

I was saying that what they should do was HBO should just reshoot the documentary and use a fat woman.

Yeah, just word for word.

Yeah, it should be a fat woman

should get the opportunity that was taken from her.

What's that?

A fat woman should get the opportunity that was probably taken from her.

Oh, that was taken from her.

I mean, that is is the lesson here, I think.

Yeah.

That

they wanted to actually do a January 6th documentary where they don't actually end up going to January 6th.

But it was stolen from them.

Do you think streamers are happy?

It can't be.

It can't be a way to live.

I don't care how much money you're making.

It cannot be.

You don't have to sit every single day.

You can't live that way.

Yeah.

It must be insane.

Yeah.

i mean it's like a very high you talk to the computer all day long it's basically a high-paying customer service call center job it's literally that's what it is

and then the chat is like going insane yeah constantly and then like if you make a mistake then like you're like constantly seeing all the comments coming up where like

and then like that must be fucking stressful too yeah where people are like

Where people are like, address the allegations.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're just seeing thousands of messages streaming past you.

And also, it's just like, for us, when we were doing Come Town, I mean, we made a joke about that, about how it was like the laziest thing in the world.

It's right?

It's completely.

These people are working 100 hours a week.

This you can put up, you forget about it, you can just pretend it doesn't fucking exist.

You know?

No, it's your life.

Yeah.

I never look.

You know what I mean?

Like, if you go look.

No, I don't look.

You know, it's like feedback positive or negative.

It's just you're going get in your head about it no matter what we had to learn that lesson yeah well i think everybody has to learn that i think everyone does if you make shit that's out in the public yeah but uh yeah to be have no separation from it no you there's just a can you imagine right now there's just a fucking stream a chat stream i honestly wish people just saying in i wish i hadn't stopped doing stand-up like for years and years because you go do shows and it's nice even if you fucking just completely broke Everyone's nice.

Everyone's nice.

Everyone's nice.

Everyone's fucking nice.

Yeah.

You know, and even if they're not nice.

Like, you get some people who want to say like weird internet stuff.

And then they feel pathetic.

Well, it's not that they feel pathetic necessarily.

It's just that, like, you're talking to a person.

So you're like, oh, this is just some guy.

You know what I mean?

Right, it's just some guy.

Like, this guy, you know, he's going to go home and feed his cat.

You know,

jack off before bed.

Right, jack off before bed.

Just like you and me.

Maybe have a sandwich.

Yeah.

Make himself a PV.

Yeah, whatever.

And then fucking have boring conversations with his friends.

And, you know, it's like we all just

come in a late 20 minutes, come to work 20 minutes late.

We're all just waiting until it becomes undeniable that

myocarditis

that are occurring all over the world.

Massive excess deaths in horny vaccine countries.

According to Nick, yeah.

You know,

until that, until we get just an admission

from the Pfizer CEO, who is basically just a fucking bad guy from No Country for Old Men.

Have you seen this fucking guy?

Wait, he's Anton Shigur.

Anton Shigur, yeah, basically.

He's got glasses on.

No, show me a pig.

You got to listen to the way he talks.

He's like,

Yeah, he's like, there's no guarantee that the vaccine will prevent transmission, but we remain hopeful that it will.

Really?

Yeah.

No way.

He's not American?

He's Spanish.

He's Spanish.

Yeah, but like Spanish, Spanish, like the bad kind.

Yeah, España.

Yeah.

He's that kind of.

How the fuck did they, like,

how did they do that?

You know what I mean?

Like, Spanish people came over here, raped a bunch of Native Americans, created Latino.

They did.

And now Latinos are a minority, but Spanish people are like, oh, yeah, me too.

We're still white.

Yeah, no.

No, not that they're still white.

They kind of slide under just because they speak the same language.

It's like, oh, well, that guy's

the architects of the rape.

Yeah, they're the ones that did it.

They're they're white.

They get away with not being white people somehow.

Uh-huh.

And they fucked their way into it.

It's true.

It's insane to me.

Oh, shit.

They are literally Caucasian.

Yes, this episode is brought to you by Blue Chew.

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I've been struggling to open emails.

Why, man?

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I'm getting worse at emailing.

Oh, you'll be fine.

That's the funny thing, too.

I remember as a kid, you realize how bad older folks are at technology.

They can't send an email, and you're like, oh,

well, that's probably because this technology didn't exist for most of their life.

And then, you know, it's not like they forgot or whatever.

And now that I'm getting older, I don't know how to use email.

Yeah, no, it's just annoying.

Yeah, no, I don't know.

I don't know what attachments are or any of this stuff.

You just got it's at the bottom.

You just click it.

Yeah, well, I don't really know.

If you click it, then you get kind of a pre-view.

But if you click download,

it saves it to your download folder.

I know what?

The folder.

And then you can make another folder where you just keep,

you know, categorize the what are folders?

You know?

Well, it's just like imagine a file cabinet, you know.

Yeah.

Anyways.

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Adam, are you growing breasts?

No, those are pecs.

No, they kind of look.

I don't know.

I've never seen you with breasts before.

I don't have breasts, dude.

I'm just asking.

You can say no.

I'm not growing breasts.

Alright.

Those are pectoral muscles.

Alright, okay.

From push-ups and stuff.

I'm just asking.

I'm just asking questions.

Are you growing a fucking pussy, dude?

Let me ask you this.

When did you get the booster shot?

I never got a booster.

Why?

Well, man, if you're growing breasts.

I just, what?

What's underneath the breast?

They're muscles.

No, underneath that.

My heart.

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What's the deal, Nick?

If you're a listener to the show,

what can they get?

I don't know.

I'm getting back into picking my nose these days.

You are?

Yeah.

See, I never stopped.

Well, I stopped using my automated neti pod thing.

Why?

Because I got an air purifier and a humidifier in my room.

So you stopped the neti pod because...

I feel like I got too much machines

regulating me.

Wait, you had like a machine neti pod?

Yeah.

What did it do?

It did like a hose?

Yeah, it blows in one side and sucks it out the other.

With air?

I want that for my whole body.

I've been obsessed with the idea of putting a garden hose in my ass for the last like two weeks.

I don't know why.

I keep thinking about it.

Why is that?

I don't know, but like it's got to be on a spool.

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Alright, so what's up with this thing with your ass?

Oh, nothing.

I don't know why.

Just like.

Just

and you just blast your ass out.

I mean, I guess that's what gay guys do when they get colonics.

Yeah.

I think it, I mean, you know, the body knows itself.

And I probably just need to be taking probiotics or something.

That's why you're fantasizing about putting a tube in your ass and having it blast out.

I'm imagining myself on Joe Rogan explaining to him the benefits of putting a garden hose in your ass and sending it full blast and then quietly Ted Nugent next to me me just nodding with his eyes closed.

Just being just fully in agreement with what I'm saying.

Yeah, and that's what January 6th was all about, baby.

Yeah.

Does the nuge go on Rogan?

Yeah.

He does.

There's a clip.

I don't know how many times.

I don't want to watch the show.

There's a clip of him talking about vegans where he's like,

if you want to be a vegan, you better

be prepared to kill every rabbit, every mouse, every frog, every turtle, every squirrel, every rat, every cat, every dog, every animal that will go onto the fields and damage the crops to make soybeans just so you can have a tofu burger.

Fuck you.

And then that's where they click.

I don't get that.

I have no idea what he's saying.

What is he talking about?

I have no idea.

He's like,

when I kill a deer, it's one arrow, one animal.

Headshot.

Yeah.

Instant death.

He's just bragging.

Yeah.

I shoot it from an electric guitar using one of the strings.

I'm like, jokes on you, pal.

That's exactly how I buy my produce.

I go in there with a compound bow, and I say, give me the papayas.

Esmeralda, hand the papayas over now.

And then she says, okay, please don't kill me.

Just

right through the dome.

I killed killed her.

Through her head into the papaya.

And then I do a little shish kebab.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Little Esmeralda papaya shish kebab.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you've never been caught.

No.

They can't catch me.

They can't.

I'm the gingerbread man.

That should be a fucking serial killer name.

The gingerbread man.

How about this for a serial killer name?

Damn, I got nothing.

Sorry.

I thought I had a joke, but I don't.

I can't hear you, dude.

I'm not wearing headphones.

Oh, yeah.

You're too cool for headphones now.

No, you just put headphones and you didn't give me any.

Good.

What are you muttering to yourself over there?

I don't know.

I'm trying to find more.

I'm trying to find recent tweets about this.

I'm still trying to...

Like, things get stuck in my craw when I can't figure out exactly how to articulate my frustration with something.

Your frustration is with the kids that

are

straw.

It's more because they thought that this guy was more nuance than that.

It's like the

specificity of the language revolving around the thing.

And it's like, it's like specific phrases and the way they say it.

One of the most like I saw somebody being like, he really showed, like, he really had insight into U.S.

slash American culture.

U.S.

slash American culture.

Yeah, it was like US-American culture.

There's like a way, it's this new type of like dumb guy trying to sound smart speaking that it departs from what I'm used to.

You know, like it used to be like the sort of the Latinate thing, or if you want to be racist, you know, you make fun of the way, you know, like the stereotypical, like, well, I'm trying to philosophize you.

You know, like the kind of shit thing.

There's a new type of

reaching dumb guy talk that's that's emerging.

where it's just like they're trying to sound smart right

but

they and they have a complete lack of self-awareness and the fact that they're self-awareness but they're perhaps the dumb some of the dumbest people yeah but they're not even bottom 10

they're not even using big unnecessary words like i do i'm slash i'm an old school type of dumb guy that pretends to be smart right right which is how i use words like obsidian or is that like a rock it's a type of rock.

Yeah.

And I bring that up all the time.

I'm like, I'm tired of your obsidian

attitude.

Attitude.

Yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't blink an eye.

I would think that that's an actual.

I say stuff like, this guy, he thinks he's Dwayne the Obsidian Johnson.

Oh, yeah.

When really he's just Dwayne the rock Johnson.

Right, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I see what you're saying.

Yeah.

I use the word obsidian basically in every other sentence, probably.

Is it like the case where it's mostly girls that are upset right now, or is it guys?

I have no way to tell.

It's Reddit.

I'm assuming 50% of these are just Gheelane Maxwell.

Remember that?

Remember when we found out she was like the number one moderator on the fucking world news subreddit?

Oh, I totally forgot about that.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course you did.

You forgot about all that shit because we had a fucking pandemic

that still isn't proven.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It has killed a single person, Ethan.

Well, you were saying earlier in the show,

like, the pandemic's over and rape is back.

But, like, it kind of people completely forgot about me, too.

Yeah.

I mean, like, beyond the Epstein Little St.

James thing,

like, that was the biggest thing before

COVID.

Yeah.

That and Trump.

Me too culminated in that and finding out that basically every politician was a prisoner.

Right.

That was kind of like the last step.

But like beyond that, we're forgetting about the entire.

And here's his timeline.

Epstein kills himself.

Correct.

Let's go.

Epstein

attempts suicide once, is placed on suicide watch, and then somehow while on suicide watch, the most important prisoner in the history of the world, kills himself again and the cameras are off.

Right.

That happened.

But it's important not to forget in the whole Epstein thing the first suicide attempt two weeks prior.

You remember that?

Yes.

That's the thing, you know, you can say, oh, well, the camera's up.

All of these other things,

you know, whatever.

Maybe he did kill himself.

Was it a hanging attempt?

It was with like blankets.

Literally the same thing.

They put him back in the cell and he quote-unquote did it again.

Okay.

All right.

And then his cellmate, the Italian guy, I think it's the guy that wrote

the true detective.

Yeah.

Oh, it was.

Yeah, Nick Pizzolato was his cellmate.

That guy?

Who turned out to be like

step cousins with Hillary Clinton?

He was.

He would dog sit for the Clintons or something.

Really?

And then he was in prison for still no reason.

They don't explain that.

No way.

Yeah.

Nick Pizzolato was Jeffrey Epstein's cellmate.

No way.

Yeah.

And he attempted, he beat him up, and then they said he killed himself.

And then he was.

He gangster checked him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I believe that's what they call it.

Anyways, that happens.

Fucking like a record number of CEOs resign

in fall 2019.

Then Chinese virus,

you know, now vaccine that seems to be designed to kill British people.

And top-level athletes.

Yeah.

Have you noticed they have this NHS crisis right now, and then also now we have a nurse strike

in New York?

Oh, no, I have not noticed that.

Yeah.

And the only

man willing to call out mainstream media has now been me, too.

It has now been me too.

Andrew Callahan.

Yeah.

The only person to ever say CNN is wow.

So you're saying he was about to get to the bottom.

Yeah.

I mean, have you seen a lot of things?

Have you seen some of this guy's insights?

He says that CNN and Fox, they just sell fear to sell advertisements.

He said that?

He said that, dude, which is, you know, that's

that's bars.

Really?

That's crazy.

That's bars.

Yeah.

When he said that, he really snapped.

Brought to you by HBO.

Brought to you by

the punk rock outside organization known as HBO.

Yeah, that is.

It is like,

you were saying yesterday.

it is like newsbusters.

Or what's ad busters?

It is like punk rock citizen journalism.

Yeah, it's this thing has existed forever.

It's gay.

It's gay.

Yeah.

It's not cool.

I don't know.

I guess there's some dumb argument in there about like some fucking Mark Fisher thing about like Che Guevara wallets or how everything is just immediately commoditized and so there's no way to actually be anti-capitalist, but it's just gay.

That's the easiest way to write the thing off.

Yeah, that's a much more efficient means of dealing and addressing things.

Look,

I got news for young folks.

Speak to them.

There's never going to be a revolution.

It's not going to happen.

Yeah.

It's not going to happen.

Healthcare is important.

If we can find a way to do that, great.

That's all I have to do.

No, that's not happening either.

That's not happening.

It's not happening.

So hopefully you can figure out how to make as much money as possible and take care of the people that you love because that's a good thing.

That's all you can do.

That's literally all you can do.

Is that libertarianism?

I was thinking the other day, there was like one.

Is that what that is?

No, it's nihilism, is it nihilism?

It's giving up.

Yeah, it's just that, like, yeah, everything's fucked and we're the cause of everything being fucked.

Yeah, whatever.

I don't have power outside of what, you know,

what's in my immediate vicinity.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Stop arguing with your family about the vaccines.

Yeah, just be nice.

If you're anti-vax, lie to your family and tell them you got the vaccine.

Yeah.

If If you're the vaccine guy and they're anti-vax,

either let them lie to you or pretend you don't care, whatever you need to do.

Right, because they're going to get cancer.

Everybody's going to die.

Yeah.

Spend time with the people that you care about.

100%.

And then, yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, I was thinking about it.

There was one John Brown.

In 400 years of slavery, there was one guy that was like, no, this is pretty bad.

Yeah.

That's kind of fucked up.

There was one guy.

There was one guy who was like, I'm about to pop off.

There was one.

Yeah.

so there was one uh there was one fucking uh the lapd guy yeah christopher dorner there was one christopher dorner yeah yeah i have no idea no one's gonna pick up a fucking break i'm just trying to get through the last

the last 20 20 minutes

the look on nick's face right now i don't give a fuck

no i know exactly what you're saying

i mean it's yeah it's true that's hoping that would go somewhere funny.

What?

I was hoping that would go somewhere funny.

We could go somewhere funny with it.

I don't know.

What if a Mexican guy was saying that?

About a rebellution.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, listen, guys, we used to have a band called Of Revolution.

And we didn't get anywhere from that.

We need to all, as a whole, embrace nihilism.

So I can stop killing time with fake opinions.

Yeah.

So we can go, but get to the real opinions.

Like,

there are no good games for PlayStation 5.

Yeah, it kind of sucks.

Nick got PS5 yesterday.

Last night.

Yeah.

I did.

And then he realized that they had it in Union Square, and I was like, all right, let's see.

Wait, was the first release for PS5 the new Spider-Man?

I have no idea.

I don't know what Spider-Man is.

I played the last two.

Is it like a guy that's a spider?

No, it's from Marvel.

And then what happened?

Like, so it bit him and he turned into a spider, but it also turned him Mexican now?

No, he's a...

Because he used to be white, and now he's...

No, he's a mijo.

His family calls him Mijo.

Yeah.

Miles.

The spider did that to him?

I don't know if it was from the spider, but his dad was a cop.

The good kind.

But then he died.

Border Patrol.

No, I think he was New York City.

Did I ever tell you about that time I saw a Border Patrol agent wearing a kilt?

No.

Where were you?

The border?

Yeah, the border.

Yeah.

Driving through Arizona.

What were you doing there?

This was like 13 years ago.

Why was he wearing a kilt?

That's their funeral outfit?

I used to do citizen journalism down on the border.

Oh, yeah.

You and Tim Poole?

Me and Tim Poole.

In Callahan?

Yeah, no.

No, I was just driving.

The band.

I was driving to LA and I went through the desert.

And I saw the Border Patrol agent and McDonald's.

A group of them.

And then one of them.

It was like a Highlander?

One of them had a kilt on.

You know how fucking offensive that is to a guy that just walked 8,000 miles to just see some Scottish retard.

From Nicaragua through the Mexican desert, right?

Fucking

Duncan McLeod.

Right, to see arguably the shittiest culture of all time in the history of the world.

The Scottish people.

Yeah, right.

Allowed to come here.

Dude, hey,

you know the old joke, right, about the Scots.

What?

What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?

a rolling stone gathers no moss.

What?

A Rolling Stone gathers no moss?

No.

That's good, though.

What?

It's uh the Rolling Stones say, Hey, you,

get off of my cloud.

And a Scotsman says, Hey, McCloud, get off of my you.

What?

Because they have they have sex with animals.

Oh, what's a you?

Oh, a lamb.

It's a female sheep?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

It's not like a laugh-out-loud joke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know.

I thought Chris Rock was pretty funny when he said it.

Chris talk.

How about Chris Talk?

TikTok.

Oh, he's TikTok.

He's TikTok.

T-O-K.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah, I feel, I mean...

These kids are...

These kids are...

I feel bad for them that they've lost this guy, but

they're going to be alright.

Yeah.

I guess.

I'm trying to change the subject.

I'm trying to think of something else to talk about here for the

last 10 minutes of this.

The last 10 what?

The last 10 minutes of this podcast.

You're talking so quiet, dude.

I don't know if the can's on.

I'm sorry.

It's so hot in here.

It's so fucking hot in here.

Yeah.

I like want to take my shirt off.

We're recording in the office rather than office.

Because Dave and Connor are out fucking fixing the studio right now, which is in disrepair.

Yeah, well, they're not fixing it.

They're setting the lights up, and then we have our homeboy Ed, who is with us from the start.

He's coming tomorrow?

Ed's coming tomorrow to do like a real pre-light with Connor.

Shout out to Ed.

They're going to lock the lights, and then that's fixed.

So hopefully they get that together and we get the look we're going for.

Which is sort of a a mix between like a moody or Dick Cavot is what we want.

So charlie rose meets dick cabot yeah kind of like a mora and then they have a sex off like a sex they have a molest off like a sex yeah

they both open a robe at the same time yeah they just both have a kimono

open with the it's funny they play dick cabot on the decades channel all the time and i watch that because i'm like this is this has got to be you know we're going for this

awful show it's so boring and it's so funny because everybody you bring it up to people and people now i don't know what happened, but recently.

You heard when Doug Levinson was talking about it.

People talk about it.

Because it was our show.

He was the one for us.

Everyone said

Carson was the best, but it was, it was, Dick was our guy.

They were like, that's really where they got.

They talked about things.

And it was funny.

Yeah.

It was just like, I've never seen anything funny on that show.

Yeah, no, everybody brings up the, what is it, the Casavettis interview?

Which is just funny.

No, it's the Groud Show interview is the big one.

No, people mentioned the Casavettis one, which is a disaster.

Damn, I feel like.

What happened to the Casavetis one?

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Why?

Huh?

Open the door, dude.

Yeah, well, it's hot, and I ate too many vitamins.

Did you have breakfast?

No, I haven't eaten anything.

You can't have vitamins on an empty stomach, dude.

They don't work.

That's my

piss is going to come out green.

Look, I miss the opportunity to go to war.

Dude, I wish it was Vietnam.

Yeah.

It would be so cool.

When I was a teenager, I used to clown on those middle-aged guys that wear vented shirts and sunglasses and like

the POW MIA guys?

Well, the guys that would like get they get really mad at the CIA and they dress and act like they were Vietnam War veterans.

Yeah, they wear aviators.

But they spent the entire time working at Hobby Lobby.

Yeah.

And now that's me.

That's

now I've just become

one of those guys

where I'm like, I'll tell you what it really is.

It's Jeffrey Epstein and the fucking, you know.

And that's why.

That's why it had to happen.

Yeah.

No.

So this kid got in trouble.

Yeah.

No, it's funny.

I saw a tweet from somebody that was like, we had to weather, it's some anti-vaxx guy being like, we had to weather years of mistrust and accusations and being demonized by our families and workplaces because we saw the truth.

We knew what was happening and you didn't listen to us or whatever, something like that.

There's a lot of this.

And then some guy responds and he's like,

he's like, I'd be completely honest, I didn't do fucking shit.

Somebody told me I had to do something and I'm not the kind of guy you can tell to do stuff.

like, I just get off.

I said, fuck you.

He's like, I just get off on saying no when somebody asked me to do something.

And I'm like, I've never related to something more in my life.

Yeah.

That's exactly how I feel.

No, you were pissed, dude.

What?

Don't act like you weren't pissed.

I was pissed, but for that reason.

I just don't like being told what to do.

Yeah, I know.

Fuck you.

Yeah, dude.

It's because I'm doing citizen journalism.

Dude, we gotta go out on the street.

Yeah.

We gotta do some man on the street.

We gotta ask, we gotta go down

to the slow walk and ask them if they'd let someone run train on their girl for $5,000.

Does that really happen?

Yeah.

This is great.

I saw this meme.

Emmett looks on from heaven, disappointed, and it's a picture of Emmett Till.

And it says, it happened to Emmett in 1955.

It's happening to Andrew in 2023.

It's a pro-Callahan pose?

It's a pro-Callahan pose.

I mean, it's obviously a gym.

That he got lynched.

There's no way someone seriously posted that.

I mean,

it was very funny.

I love that.

The only picture we have of Emmett Tiller, the one I've ever seen, he's dressed like Al Capone.

Yeah, he's got that hat.

Well, there's that, and then there's the picture of him after he dies.

Well, this is like the 1950s version of when a black teenager gets killed and they show him looking like a thug.

Oh, yeah.

So in the 50s.

You're saying that that's bad.

Yeah, well in the 50s, they're like a scary guy.

This kid was killed, so we're going to make him look like spy versus spy.

He was a rough customer.

Yeah, right, exactly.

This guy was one slick cucumber.

Yeah,

he was one cool guy.

Dude, yeah.

That's really fucked up.

What?

It's still fucked up to think about what they did to that guy.

Who?

Damn it.

Oh, yeah.

And what's the other Andrew?

Andrew Tate?

The guy with the tiny head.

Yeah, I don't even know about what that is either.

Yeah.

I don't know anything anymore.

He was sex trafficking?

He was?

I guess.

Why do they call it that?

Sex trafficking?

Yeah.

It's like, hey, move it, child ahead.

I got too much sex over here.

I was looking at a porn website recently.

There's a new subcategory that's

self-driving car pornography.

Oh, that's awesome.

It's people fucking in Teslas.

Yeah.

That is a version of sex trafficking, I suppose.

I guess all the leftist journalist accounts are mad at the self-driving Teslas.

Why?

I don't know.

Because they get into car accidents or something.

It would be funny if people died while they were doing a porn in one of those.

Yeah.

They're like, rest in peace, Lisa Ann.

Yeah.

They were running train in a Tesla.

Yeah, people are mad at that.

I don't know.

I guess people just don't like Elon Musk.

Yeah.

Mad at the cars.

Do you like Elon Musk?

I don't really care.

I don't give a fuck, man.

I don't care.

You don't care?

Yeah.

I'm trying to think who I like.

I don't like or dislike.

any do you like Bruce Springs here?

Yeah, I like Bruce Springs.

You want to go to Madison Square Garden?

Sure.

What happened to the Janet Jackson plan?

Is that still happening?

I don't know.

We're me and Alex and Stephen, but we're going to go see Janet.

I want to see Bruce Springsteen at Madison Square Garden, man.

Yeah.

Be with our people.

Madison Square Penis.

What are you looking at?

Tickets?

No, don't look at tickets.

You say something while I look for more good tweets.

Oh, he's playing at Barclays Barclays as well.

Should we go?

Who?

Spring Scene?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I kind of really just like seeing Tool, and that's it.

That's the only band you'll see?

Yeah.

I don't even like Tool.

I just like sitting down.

Oh, because it's a seated concert?

Yeah, they had seats at Barclays when I went.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is nice to sit down at a concert.

Yeah, I saw them at First Mariner Arena in probably, what, 2006 or 7.

Where is that?

In Baltimore.

I went with Jordan Owens to see a fool.

And there was a guy doing interpretive dance to schism in front of me.

And I was like, this guy's awesome.

Was he wearing a kilt?

He was like, no, he was like,

he was like, I know who the pieces fit.

And he's like, putting like

every word.

Yeah, he's like,

I know who the pieces.

And then he watched them tumble over.

And then he did this

robot falling over

He's just like just all fucked up on cough medicine probably he was like one of those like you know like some like there's like a that like white trash guy look where you wear a white speeder even though you have like the absolute worst body for it.

Yeah, right

you're all like just just love handle.

What is the fat?

What is the kind of fat where in the like beneath the belly button it kind of goes up?

What?

There's like you have like a beer belly, but like it's like two lumps.

Oh yeah, just like the like the quark

deep space nine stomach.

Yeah.

Why is it like that?

Um I don't know man.

I never knew.

I was like.

Well, I'll tell you why.

It looks like C-section kind of or something.

The vaccine.

Maybe it's like a...

It was the vaccine.

No, come on, man.

You can't say everything's the vaccine.

Why not?

Why not?

I don't know.

You saw what happened to this football player.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was it?

I don't know.

I mean, they're saying it's the vaccine.

Who's saying that?

I don't know.

People I look at.

The doctors I read.

What?

The doctors?

The doctors I read.

The doctors that can only practice medicine on Substack now.

The only doctors I like reading.

The guys that went to the University of Nicaragua.

Yeah.

Or like

St.

Lucia or something.

Yeah.

It is very funny.

I mean, I have no idea what happened.

They're saying it's like,

what is the word for it?

Comociocortis.

I thought it's myocarditis.

No, no, that's the heart inflammation.

Anybody that resists

people are saying it's if you get hit in your chest at a certain time, it can make your heart stop.

Which it's like, well,

that seems like something to be more afraid of than

like anything.

I had no idea that was possible.

No, that's like a thing people said in elementary school.

Yeah, it's like fucking, it's literally blood sport.

It's like the

punch.

Yeah, it's like that punch.

It's the punch that only like John Claw Van Dem knows how to do.

Yes, literally.

Yes, that's that's what they're saying it is.

They're like a doctor saying, oh, actually, I don't know if y'all have seen blood sport.

It's like if MSNBC was like, no, someone had a voodoo doll.

Like, that's like, that's what, that's where my head goes.

It's that level of like, I didn't know that was fucking real.

So can people fly also?

Maybe.

If you can do a death touch.

Yeah, is that what it was called?

It's like a, yeah, the death touch.

Yeah, it's not Kali Ma, is it?

Is it Kali Ma?

Maybe it is Kali Ma.

Yeah,

the government is saying that

he received the fucking fatality from

what's it?

No, Kali Ma is like the, I think that's the cult from Indiana Jones.

Oh, that's what that is.

Dim Mock.

Dim Mock?

Yeah.

Martial arts touch of death.

The touch of death.

Yeah.

That's badass.

There was all the people who were practicing a comment.

One of them was brought into acupuncture points.

According to Rose, it's very related to the fighting skills of the past.

Meanwhile, critics insist that dim mock points either do not exist or are ineffective in combat.

You know, what's going to happen now, too, is like this Kamoshio Courtis thing.

There's going to be schoolyard fights, and kids are just going to be punching each other in the chest.

They're going to be trying to do it.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

That's the best thing.

That's going to be like the new trend on TikTok.

Yeah, yeah.

And then there's going to be panic articles about it in the New York Post.

I'd still say one of the funniest articles I've ever seen in my life is when the Ruto got popular.

Some little boy died because his friend buried his head in the sandbox.

He was like, I'm going to be in the Ruto.

And they just fucking like buried him from his chest up with his head in there.

And then he just fucking died

with his legs sticking up

oh god yeah anyway guys we're gonna be back to regular talk show episodes in the next week

folks we love you i hope you had a good christmas new year season good christmas and come see me in salt lake come see adam in philadelphia come see me in philadelphia and chicago people come see me at zany's rosemont i'll be with caleb pitts my boy it's gonna be fun we'll be on the road a bunch this year.

I'm going to be on the road a lot this year.

Folks, we love you.

We appreciate you.

Take care of your families.

Kiss your mother.

Yeah.

Kiss your mother.

Have a good time, folks, and don't forget to laugh.

Yeah, you gotta laugh.

You gotta laugh.

You gotta laugh.

That's true.

You laugh at us.

You laugh at your family.

Laugh at Dr.

Fauci.

Whoever you want to laugh at, it's fine.

Just don't get the vaccine.

Shut up.

You can't say that.

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