Ep. 313 – Space

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Whoa.

Come on, Barbie.

Show me pussy.

Let's get right into it, folks.

I got chocolate all over my hands.

I was in a pretty bad mood.

You look awesome, dude.

Now I got cookie in me.

I realized that, you know, life is pretty bad.

Yep.

You know what I was thinking about the other day?

This is a dumb thought.

I mean, like, not in like that the idea itself is stupid, but that it's just the kind of thing a moron would think and think to repeat.

But, like,

you know, so it's like Elon Musk is trying to to buy Twitter, and then everyone's calling him a faggot for doing it.

And then he's on there being like, these are political attacks.

And it's like, this is the richest man in the world.

I know.

And he is not any happier than me.

No.

He has all that shit.

And it still doesn't like, it's just visible.

Because there was, at least before this, you know, it's like, yeah, everything's fucked.

There's people at the top that control everything and make your life dog shit and fucking everyone has to suffer so they can have this position.

But at least you get to think like, well, he's probably happy or something, or at least fucking kids or something.

No, he's just being a faggot on Twitter.

I almost preferred the world where they were secretly having sex with him.

100%.

My Kevin Durant's point is going to war with the subreddit daily.

Yeah.

Kevin Durant.

I mean,

that's not a guy with hundreds of billions of dollars.

Well, he's got one billion.

He's got a billy.

Yeah, but he's still not like.

I know what you mean.

You know, he's not fucking Carlos Slim.

That's always been my issue with Elon is that he's fucking a

loser.

Yeah, he's still posting.

Because it's like Bezos ain't posting.

I guess he's

doing muscle picks.

Bezos is posting a little bit, just a different tact of posting.

He's also a fucking loser.

If you're that rich, we should not even know your name.

That's the real fucking guys.

There have to be guys like that.

There are.

They're in Monaco.

They are definitely

getting

pussy.

They're doing the satanic.

Fucking Dominic Strauss-Kahn, dude.

Yep.

Dominic Strauss-Kahn.

Hey.

Remember if I suck on your coconut titties there.

Now the bit is that Dominic Strauss-Kahn is Joe List.

He is Joe List.

Right.

Hey, nice titties, Congo.

Why don't you let me play him?

He's also Robin Williams.

Yeah, that's I don't know.

I'm not even doing Joe List.

I'm covered in chocolate.

You are very covered in chocolate.

Would you get a chocolate chip cookie or a scone or a chicken?

I got a chocolate chip cookie and a snicker, dude.

Oh, ho, ho.

I went two cookies.

The dick is hard today.

Because the ice cream shop was closed.

That did break my heart, too.

And I'm actually very sad.

I deserve it, but I either eat this shit or I try to cry and fail.

That's the thing, I haven't been able to.

I literally have not cried since the Fast and the Furious 6 finale

movie.

All right, Pete.

What about Up?

You were watching that.

That came out before.

You're right.

And

I remember getting close, but at the first five minutes.

The first five minutes are brutal.

You cried, Call Me By Your Name.

And that's after Fast Six.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, he did.

That's right.

He was crying the whole movie, actually.

I think he cried at the end where they called each other by the name.

No, he was crying the whole movie.

No, it's a good movie.

But I did not cry.

Yeah, he cried.

Adam, you cry every fucking day.

So what?

So what, dude?

Making an accurate point.

You got me by your name.

I'll tell you what's worse than crying is trying to and not being able to.

Sure.

Yeah, it's true.

Because then you're like.

It's like you're trying to push out.

It's like trying to grow a beard.

It's like that same kind of, it's natural.

It's going to happen or trying kind of squeeze out a cry.

Well, yo, after you cry, dude, you get a natural rush of endorphins that's most similar to doing Molly.

So I'm fucking tripping, bro, all day.

You're tripping over my dick and balls.

I'm not.

I just want to say, real quick, at the top of the episode, because I gave a wrong date in the last time I was on the pod.

My special officially is coming out June 5th for real.

100%.

I know I said it would be out literally two days ago, but

we had some technical snafus, and then I didn't want to release it on Memorial Day or Labor Day, whatever the fuck's coming out.

Out of respect.

Out of respect to the fucking

labor.

What's that shooting Memorial Day is for?

Is for workers who got sucked in the machines?

No, that's Labor Day.

Memorial Day is when you remember the best pussy you ever got, and you take a whole day off to be like, damn, that was awesome.

Is it?

I know Memorial Day and Veterans Day were both veterans, and then Labor Day was workers.

Yeah, that's what I just said.

No, no, Veterans Day is for veterans.

Memorial Day is to remember the pussy you got

and just sit around and have a barbecue.

And that's why whoever got the best pussy throws the barbecue and celebrates it.

No, for real, though.

What the fuck is Memorial Day for?

The Titanic?

No, the people that died.

The veterans are for the people that

were just winning.

They just went.

A bunch of John McCain losers.

Yeah.

Not the real heroes.

When's gay day?

Gay days a month.

Whatever, December something, I forget.

But yeah, that's what it is.

Damn, that's

fucked up, dude.

I know your birthday.

Now I'm going to forget your birthday.

And it's gone.

December 10th.

And it's gone.

I know it's in December.

And you know what?

It's gone.

So don't even bother remembering it because I've forgotten yours.

I don't know Adam's birthday.

April Fool's Day?

No.

April 10th.

Fuck.

It's fine.

I don't remember anyone's birthday.

Including my girlfriend.

I know Eldis' birthday.

Well, of course, you know your girlfriend's birthday was two years ago.

What are you talking about?

Her actual

the day she was born.

I don't know, but people celebrate the day they were born every year.

I love the idea of somebody going

pussy to table.

Yeah.

From your mama's pussy to my mouth.

Gene charts on some buy a bride website.

You bred two people.

This is going to be my child, bride.

The charts.

What if you just got an ugly, like you just picked two of the hottest people, but then the baby was ugly?

That would be fucking devastating.

Yeah.

If you're doing sexual eugenics, that's bullshit when that happens.

It'd be a fun

summer.

Ugly baby.

Are they ugly?

They're ugly.

Really?

Yeah.

She's a fucking piece of ace.

And she's really beautiful.

Let me see.

Let me look up Zendaya.

Who's Zendaya?

Is that Z-Way?

It's like another type.

No, Zendaya is from Spider-Man.

And Euphoria.

And I think she was in the Disney.

Like.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, these...

Oof, Maro.

These really are.

Yeah, so it's like you never know.

Right, you never know.

You could get two Uggos together and make a.

Her dad looks like bootleg Randy Jackson.

Yeah, he kind of does.

And her mom looks like bootleg.

Who's the fucking Russian bitch?

Randy Jackson is so funny.

The fact that he somehow managed to continue losing 100 pounds every year.

He looks a lot.

He needs the weight back.

Yeah, I mean, he looks like a fucking floor lamp at this point.

Yeah.

He does not look good.

Yeah, it's like Al Sharp.

He lost too much weight.

Yeah.

Yeah, but he keeps doing it.

Every time it's like, wow,

Randy Jackson is unrecognizable after recent weight loss.

Yeah.

And it's like, I forget what he even started at.

And what was even his, why was he even on that show?

He was the like a replacement bass player for Journey?

No, he was a producer, isn't he?

I thought he was a producer, but

you could be a great base for Journey.

I love it.

You've got that soul.

You've got that style.

You've got the X Factor.

Oh, god, yeah, he's too skinny.

Yeah, he definitely is.

It is very funny to have a music talent show, and the judges are some British fucking cunt

that nobody knows.

The only one, yeah, the only one that they talent is Paula Abdul.

Yeah, right.

But she wasn't necessarily known for her singing, it's a singing competition, but she was a dancer, but she had a hit single

straight up to me.

Can I see your fucking pee?

Miss with binoculars.

No, you can't.

Paula Abdullah.

It's wild to hold on to that name, you know?

Paula Abdul.

Yeah, not to a stage name.

Why?

Because it's just, you know, it's very threatening, kind of.

Abdul?

Do you get nervous when you hear that name?

Well, yeah, it's like perspire.

It was originally Paula Abdullah.

She took out the A.

Abdullah.

Abdullah.

Paula Abdullah.

Wait, did I say my special comes out June 5th?

Yeah, you did.

On my YouTube channel.

What's the name of it?

Live at the Lodge Room.

Live at at the Lodge Room.

I wanted to call it Fat Little Slut, but

the algorithm, that would have been a problem.

I know, but the algorithm.

Oh, no, you shouldn't have said that.

Now you broke my heart.

I know, dude.

Believe me.

Fat Lil Sut would have been a problem.

Believe me, Adam.

I had this.

This was something I was wrestling with for months.

Oh, my God.

You must have been tortured by that.

I was torn when the.

Because I asked a couple

algo-type motherfuckers.

They were like, look, it's going to be an issue.

And I was like, fuck!

But, you know, whatever.

The fat little slut lifestyle continues.

We've got to push these tickets.

I'll be in Raleigh June 9th through the 11th.

You can check that out.

And if you're in Jersey, actually.

And I'll be the same weekend.

I'll be in Providence.

So come there.

And if you're in New Jersey that weekend, my friend asked me if I could just mention the AsburyTattooFest.com.

All right.

Check that out.

So tell us, say hi to John John.

Go say hi to John John.

Ask to see his penis.

He'll give you a free tattoo.

He's got it up.

Say, Nick sent me.

You have to say, Nick sent me.

Can I see your penis?

And then he'll give you a free Paula Abdul tattoo.

But more importantly.

With her pussy.

With a photorealistic picture of her pussy.

She's got a scale.

The scales.

She's got a little pussy.

She's got a needle that comes in and out of her pussy to do tattoos.

And she just sort of scoots around you like a CNC router.

Yeah, she does.

Leaving designs.

Let's look up young Paula Abdul here so we can get her.

She was a lady.

Young Paula Abdul's asshole and pussy.

Yeah, look that up.

Let's look at the music.

Oh,

she was married to Emilio Estevez?

She was.

Wait, who's that again?

Oh, right.

Now I remember.

Emilio.

Her father was Harry Abdul.

Now, that's a threatening name.

Hari Abdul.

My name is Scary

Abdullah.

Scary Abdullah.

My name is

Scary Ahmed.

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and search Paul Abdul Nude.

Muslims are really.

They're going to have to do another 9-11.

Is she Muslim?

She's from Syria.

That's Muslim.

Or at least Harry was.

She could be Christian.

That's true.

Yeah, but Muslim.

You know what we mean by Muslim.

What do you mean?

Jesus means any brown guy.

Yeah.

It's not Latino or light-skinned.

Yeah.

Straight up knocking us on your fucking pee.

Is it the tooth fairy or the teeth fairy?

Tooth.

Okay.

Who's the teeth fairy then?

There's no teeth fairy.

You fucking fairy.

Well,

I think it's a colloquial thing.

I don't believe it is.

That's the funniest of all the magical children.

The tooth fairy?

Yeah, the fake.

He's a gay guy.

He's a gay dentist.

What the hell?

Sorry, dude.

I went too far there.

You honestly went too far.

I shouldn't have said that.

She looks real Middle Eastern in her high school pics.

I love her.

She probably has ba like big eyebrows, huh?

No, just her hair.

Honestly, I would smash no problem.

Honestly, right now, I'll smash.

Yeah.

When she was sitting on

those Mexicans during...

What the fuck was that movie?

The Borats.

The Gabe Borats.

Bruno.

When she was sitting on those Mexican guys on...

Oh, my God.

So fucking funny.

Yeah, the human furniture.

And how about this, Paula?

You can sit on another part of me.

My back or my cock.

You want her to sit on your back?

Well, like the guys.

You should get a cock on your back or a pussy, like a little bowl.

That'd be cool.

I don't want a pussy.

I want a even a cock on my back.

I want to watch.

Like, if someone's sucking my cock, I can't see it.

It doesn't really do that.

I'm a very visual guy.

Yeah.

Half of it is looking at her sucking cock.

Dude, she has a lot of involvement with the police.

Yeah.

Paul Lafayette.

A lot more than you would expect.

With a name like that, you gotta prove that you're.

Oh, guess what?

Prove you're on the Abdullah is observant in her Jewish faith.

Oh, what?

She's a Syrian Jew.

She's a Syrian Jew who her family immigrated to Brazil.

Her mother's Canadian with Jewish roots.

Oh, because her mom.

And her dream is to go to Israel for a real holiday.

Oh,

now we understand how Paula stuck around in show business.

You're literally a rich person.

You know what's got to be.

My dream is to go to Israel.

You know what to be a fun sitcom, like a Norman Lear sitcom, is a Jewish family that leaves

Nazi Germany in 1933 and they move to Argentina.

And they're like, we'll be safe here.

And then 10 years later, they got some new neighbors.

They got some.

Uh-oh.

Yeah.

Guess who's moving next door?

Rich Adolph.

Adolph's next door.

Adolph's next door.

They filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Now they're they're here also in Argentina.

And we can't convince them.

They learned Spanish.

We didn't.

So they're telling the neighbors about us.

Damn, dude.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Shout out to what was that guy's name?

Herman Mueller, who was like a power forward for the Spurs, who was Argentinian, but his name was Herman Mueller, and he looked like he was a 6'9, blue-eyed.

There's a lot of that.

I remember Tiago.

The funniest of the white Argentinian, clearly this person was a Nazi bullshit, was when there was that one,

that white Argentinian girl wrote the article about Hillary Clinton.

Awesome.

Her Abuelita.

Yeah, my Abu Alita.

Yeah.

Oh, wait, Herman Mueller.

That's a chair company.

Yeah.

But I thought you said Mueller.

Maybe it is Mueller.

The Mueller Report.

I love the Mueller Report.

We wish you a Mueller Christmas.

Oh, God.

It's so nice knowing all those guys are going to die of monkeypox

on SNL.

No, no, the Mueller Christmas video.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe.

I don't think I was thinking of Thiago.

Who the fuck was that guy?

Maybe he didn't play for the Spurs.

Well, I mean, the funniest,

obviously authentic Brazilian is

Giselle Bunchen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuck, who the fuck was this guy?

There's this guy, the goalie for Liverpool, Allison Becker.

Becker.

Ben didn't like Becker.

He's just a.

Ben didn't like Tennessee.

Did anyone watch that show?

I did.

Really?

I honestly watched that.

Yeah, his best friend was blind.

Yeah, he was cool.

It's weird because I remember that show being on forever together.

I remember that being, like, I was like, I'm never going to watch it.

I feel like it was on a lot.

Not like you try to watch it, but it's just on.

It was on a lot.

Yeah.

Becker got himself some pussy, too.

Dude, Danson's got some sauce.

Becker.

Let's look it up.

Let's maybe play play a video.

You want to watch an app?

No, I mean...

1998 to 2004.

Oh, and he's got the Joe Harari haircut.

Who the fuck am I thinking of, bro?

Who the fuck was that blonde guy?

Fuck.

Ted Danson.

Alex Dessert.

That's the name of the black guy.

Sounds awesome.

Severio Guerra.

Hattie Winston, Nancy Travis.

Mondays.

Am I right?

It's Tuesday.

I'm just trying to...

Oh, it is Tuesday.

That fucked up my whole day.

My whole week, actually.

What the fuck was this fucking guy's name?

Boris Becker.

Tennis player?

He just went to jail.

He did.

For not paying his taxes.

Who did?

Boris Becker.

Who the fuck is that?

He's a famous German red-headed tennis player.

I got Adam has pictures of him all over his room.

That's not true.

Posters of this guy.

No, you know that's not true.

You know I'm an Agassi man.

I love Agassiz because he was wearing a weaves.

Yeah.

You're not a man at all.

What are you talking about?

Prepare yourself to be misgendered, my friend.

Don't you dare.

On guard, man.

Don't you dare.

People talk about how painful it is for trans people to be misgendered, but what about cisgender people?

Was it Walter Heinrich?

Yes, Walter Herman Heinrich

is an Argentine former professional basketball player.

I mean, just look at this.

Walter Herman, that was his name.

You know what's funny?

It's like all the

he was born Walter Herman Heinrich.

He had to drop the Heinrich.

That's so fucking sad.

Yeah, they have a name.

Some of those Nazis, they had even like super Nazi names that were like even more.

Because you would think Hitler would be the apex.

Of course.

But then guys that are like Heydrich Haitheart.

Dungeon Wolf.

Yeah, I guess he never actually played for the Spurs.

I just thought he did.

But he was on the Argentinian team.

He played for Charlotte and Detroit.

He was only in the league two years, and then he played in Europe.

But yeah, his name was Walter Herman Heinrich.

A 6'9, 225 blonde hair.

Argentinian wink wink.

Oh, fuck.

I have to shit.

Should I shit in your house out there?

You absolutely should.

Give me a little taste of your own medicine.

You can.

You can, but just leave the door open.

And I

are

Gentinian.

You guys can have fun with that.

Argentinian?

Yeah, hard Argentinian.

Hard Argentinian.

Yeah.

Something smells like it's burning.

I don't know.

It might be from outside.

I think, yeah, outside.

I have the window open.

What do you think that is?

Garbage?

Sometimes on my block, there's a garbage whiff.

Lady Goodiver, something fucking hell.

Show us your pussy.

Jonah Vark.

Horny for pussy.

Let me see Maude's pussy.

Let me see your pussy, baby.

Maude.

Oh, Becker was a doctor.

Yes, I knew that.

I said that already.

I forgot.

I wasn't listening.

Dude.

Don't disrespect the Beckman.

You got six seasons out of that?

Four questions for Harmony Becker in Publishers Weekly.

This sounds like good content.

All right, let's harmony.

Well, obviously, she's the author of Himawari House by Harmony Becker.

It's a manga for young Asian American girls.

Asian American author and cartoonist Harmony Becker illustrated George Takai's acclaimed graphic novel, They Call Us Enemy, before writing her debut graphic novel, Himawari House.

Himawari House.

Which originated as a webcomic called Himawari Share.

The book tells the coming-of-age story of a Japanese-American girl reconnecting with her Japanese heritage while spending a year.

You know, it's funny because I remember reading stuff like this as a kid.

I remember reading about Japanese kids in internment camps and having emotions and empathy and relating to it and thinking like, oh, it's weird because we're all people or whatever.

Now I'm an old man.

I'm like, fuck these kids.

Fuck this book.

Yep.

Fuck, we should have dropped the bomb.

We should have, but they should have dropped the bomb here too.

Right.

We should all be dead.

Yeah, that's badass, dude.

You think that has to do with age?

I think it is.

I think you mature and you realize, you know, because it's like the classic saying: if you're not, if you're not a liberal when you're young, you got no heart.

And if you're not a genocide, suicidal drug addict,

by the time you're 30 years old, who just wants a gun

to just really make some real kind of noise

before

you turn it on yourself.

Right.

You want to get your money's worth, though.

The garners expensive.

Yeah, that's Mark Twain, I think.

Well, Samuel Beckett.

Yeah.

That's actually the title of the blog line of

Harmony Smith.

Becker's the show.

Harmony Beck was.

Idiot.

You're right.

Don't try and out tidbits.

I was going to do tidbits of it.

Mark Twain and Becker.

What can you tell us about Ted Danson and Mark Twain?

Ted Danson with gray hair and Mark Twain are very hard to keep apart.

That's true.

Can you tell us a bit about the inspiration behind him, Warrior House?

I I wanted to write something I knew, and I wanted to explore something that maybe wasn't a super common experience.

One experience I've always had a hard time relaying the depth of is how intense the immersion experience into a foreign language is.

I moved to Korea for a year and a half.

My mom is Japanese.

I just thought, what do I know a lot about?

Well, this is interesting because this is being presented as like a diversity story, but this is the...

the Japanese oppressor moving to Korea.

Yeah, they fucked up Korea.

Yeah, so this is a...

I don't understand why this is supposed to be like a story about immersion.

No, you're the colonizer.

Mayo ass, Japanese.

Koopu Mayo.

What's that Mayo called?

Koopi?

Cupie.

Coopie Mayo ass.

That's what we call Japanese people.

That's cupie Mayo asses coming into Korea.

Western media has a hack

of displaying accents in a negative way.

But your graphic novel treats accents in a respectful way and not for comedic effect.

What are they even talking about?

Like a snooty French waiter?

Is that what they mean by?

I think they mean probably, I would say, 30 to 40% of this show.

There's nothing negative about it.

You would say every time you do a Chinese voice, it's a celebration of the culture.

I would say it's funny.

That's not negative.

It's funny because different people sound different.

Yeah, that's funny.

There's different cultures.

That's just funny.

I'm just saying what they're saying, man.

Yeah, I know.

But

I hope that China's laughing at us.

I think they are.

And the way we do.

I think it's respect.

Yeah.

Because it sounds different.

That's funny.

You see that video, that famous video of a Chinese.

There's a Chinese guy that's like, oh,

Adam Friedland.

Jing Chun.

Jing Chung.

I do have a lot of fans.

Adam Friedland.

Have you seen that video of the guy being like, I think I'll use my credit card.

It's a classic.

Do you have anything non-dairy?

Like a hamburger.

That's a shout out to.

There's a,

he's not Asian at all.

He's from England, but there was an exchange student at my college, and his attempt at being American was like, I'll have a hot dog.

He's British.

Hot dog hamburger.

Yeah, that shit is always funny.

When you ask a foreign person to do an impression of an American, American,

it is hilarious.

Yeah, but then like half of Hollywood.

My cousin was like, where is my dollars?

That was just American shit.

I don't know, Neither.

Where is my dollar?

Where is my dollars?

Yeah, the phrases they land on is always so good.

There is a Belgian kid in my college who's like, Cowboy spaghetti.

And

he's like, I am learning your curse words.

And we're like, like what?

And he's like, like, you are a bomb.

He thought that was a cuss.

It was cute.

Did you suck his cock?

The Merovingian.

Shout out to Nico, good boy.

The Merovingian.

The Merovingian.

Shout out to the Merovingian.

That's why I speak French.

It's like wiping your ass with.

It's like wiping your pussy with dog sheet.

It's like wiping your pussy with cake.

I think that was a line, right?

Yeah, I think it was so.

Wiping your pussy with cake.

Neo, I must show you something.

You see the dumb bitch sitting behind you.

I have just invented the cake that makes her pussy tickle.

Watch.

Watch.

Watch her pussy become f makes so much gum that she her pussy farts

because of the code.

Thank you.

That's the Merovingian.

That's the Merovingian from that.

That was a scene for memory.

Entirely.

Honestly, you're like,

my acting is getting pretty good.

Ah, Neo, I see you brought your girlfriend.

I have many girlfriends because I'm fucking a French guy.

So I sound like a fan.

But I'm just

a robot who loves pussy and going to a restaurant.

Honestly, that's how I've done that.

That's my source code, too.

Going to restaurants, getting pussy.

Having dessert.

A pie that would taste like pie and then also make a girl's pussy wet.

That's probably, yeah, that's how you get all your hypotheticals.

I might try to re-watch The New Matrix again.

No, dude, it's not worth it.

Come on.

It was really upsetting.

I was trying to figure out what the movie felt like, and it feels like you can tell Lana did not want to write the movie and is just frustrated at having to write another Matrix movie the entire fucking time.

Honestly, I see where she's coming from.

What is the last two years of this podcast?

Literally.

If not the newest thing.

In fact, you could say the statement I just made is entirely projectional.

I don't think, yeah.

You could make the claim that that is.

I think they probably wanted to make the movie.

No, I think the studio kind of like bullied.

Yeah, because they were like, look, either we're making it or you're making it.

They were like, look, we couldn't tell a man what to do, but some fucking dumb bitch, you better get in there and sew us a new movie.

Why don't you

cook up a new Matrix movie?

It was cool when that was.

You know, there's probably some studio, dickhead studio executive that said, like, maybe you could do something about being trans.

Yeah.

You know, that shit probably got that note over.

What if you did like a Matrix about being fucking trans?

What if there was a trans.

What if it could really explore that?

And thought about, you know, how the Matrix is about being.

Maybe then you could do a new movie.

Maybe you could queer it.

Maybe one of the plugs could be in his penis.

His ass.

Or maybe the plug turns into the pen.

Maybe he could get his penis cut off and turn into a plug.

No, you can't fire me.

I'm Jewish.

I can't be fired.

I'm sorry.

That's not how it works.

It's 100%.

I was in the IDF.

You can't fire me.

That's not how it works.

I was a homosexual IDF soldier.

I am basically.

Oh, that's

end tier.

Yeah, I'm basically like one of the

only ones higher, the hot IDF bitches.

You ever see them?

Yeah, they look awesome.

I would love to get that.

So Hollywood has been purged of

all its Jews.

Nice try.

Persecution.

Nice try.

They called it Kristallnacht, too, when Harvey.

When Brian Singer and Harvey

called it the Knight of Long Knives.

The sequel, number two.

Number two

ah, shit.

I fucked up.

Bluechew.com.

Blue Chew makes your dick call.

Blue Chew.

It's pill.

Then here's what were you watching?

Traffic earlier?

We were just watching Traffic.

My daughter's gone to the hood to take dick pills.

She's gone to Black Neighborhood to take dick pills.

It is cool when they just make it into

that other movie.

What movie?

Sicario?

Where he's trying to get his daughter back from being a whore.

Sicario's like 20 years after Traffic, isn't it?

Yeah, but they're the same kind of movie.

It's like Sicario.

I haven't seen Traffic.

My dick is too hard to have that fucking Paul Schrader movie with George C.

Scott.

What's it called?

Bluechew.com.

If you haven't seen Sicario, check it out.

And while you're watching it, think about going to Bluechew.com and picking up some dick pills.

Sicario is brought to you by Blue Chew.

That's right.

Yes.

I actually re-watched Sicario.

I never saw the second one, Day of La Fiesta de Siesta.

Day of the Sol Dei.

It's very funny because the guy that wrote both Sicario, Hell or Highwater, and that show Yellowstone.

Dads love Yellowstone.

He's also on Sons of Anarchy.

He's like a guy that's like he ⁇ they're good.

They're good, but it's like,

I don't know how to explain it.

Because Sons of Anarchy is also good television, but then you watch interviews with the guy that made the thing, and it's like, this is a

like

mentally disabled person yeah yeah yeah but he wrote this shit out

yeah well because some people are just like good at stories and yeah doing things and stuff like that yeah write shit that's like compelling

he wrote all that shit same guy yeah Taylor Sheridan nice I guess I mean I haven't read any interviews with anybody how to ride a motorcycle

no no Kurt Sutter wrote Sons of Anarchy Taylor Sheridan is on Sons of Anarchy as the local cop oh he's an actor he's an actor also Wow.

I think he started off as an actor and then transitioned to writing.

Wow.

Hello.

High water's a banger.

I love that movie, dude.

Yeah.

That one's that fucking Comanche scene is awesome.

I like that even better than the Casino.

In the casino, yeah.

Yeah, it's so sick.

He goes, yeah.

He's crazy.

Comanche means enemies.

Yeah.

He's enemies with who?

Everybody.

He's like, you know what?

That makes me

a fucking.

I don't remember that part.

Ben Foster's like, that's right.

It makes me a fucking.

Don't you forget it.

I really.

Because now we're with each other.

I don't actually think these things are.

Everyone in this whole fucking casino is a.

And if I'm going to go down to the bank, I'm going to stick a gun in their face.

And when the cops show up, he's going to say it did it.

Because who else would have?

That's right.

And don't you and your Native American ass better not forget it.

I'll see you in heaven.

Yeah.

You're You're Indigenous first

at the banana buffet, pal.

Yep.

Me and you in line in heaven.

I really don't think he said.

I don't think that was from it.

I'll see you there, hell or high water.

Yeah.

That part was cool.

I'll see you in heaven, hell or high water.

Is that what he's saying, man?

I was saying, you come hell or high water.

I'll see you in heaven, pal.

Mr.

Comanche.

I really, really, really remember that scene differently.

I'm talking about the

screenplay.

I read the screenplay, yeah.

I know you've been trying to get into writing more so you've been reading this screen.

I've been reading Taylor Sheridan's screenplay.

Sicaria, also a good one.

I haven't seen Yellowstone, though.

Yellowstone?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's pretty good.

Kevin Costner is like.

Let's hear it.

What does he like?

You want to know what I like about Yellowstone?

I'm the only here.

Nobody can tell me differently.

Who's going to stop me?

I decided I'm the

of Yellowstone.

That's right.

Taking it upon himself to be the only of Yellowstone.

Kevin Coffee.

Really?

That's what it's about.

Yeah.

I had no idea.

Well, that's what I mean.

There's a common theme in a lot of his Taylor Sheridan's work.

Of his work where there's a white guy that insists...

Claims he's the N-word.

Yeah.

This guy going around saying he's black.

He kicks down the door.

He's like, I didn't say I'm black.

I said I'm a

there's a difference.

Oh, yeah, there's two kinds.

And don't you forget it, come hell or high water.

He uses that phrase a lot, huh?

Why are you saying that?

We're in Yellowstone.

Come Yellowstone or Highwater.

Don't you forget that I'm the

at Blue Chew.com.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

If you love sex, you'll love Yellowstone and Blue Chew.com.

If you're a recently divorced man whose wife left you and a combination of old age, poor health, and heartbreak have left your cock completely useless.

I almost re-upped.

I was about to re-up because I always thought I'll subscribe.

They used to give it to us for free.

When that ended, yeah.

And then I'm just buying it myself.

Oh, terribly.

But I just subscribed to the top-tier plan, and then you get like way too many day pills.

So you just have one month?

So you have a stockpile.

But

now they offer like nine milligram to dollafil.

I don't know if you you remember.

That shit started with like three or something.

I don't even remember.

Dude, you got to keep up with the dog.

They keep up all the doses.

It's the tolerance.

So, yeah, I was like,

is this safe?

I'm sure they know what they're doing, but I went.

I mean, yeah, they do.

They definitely do.

They know what they're doing.

They do.

Yeah, yeah.

But that's what I like about it.

Don't think about it.

But I went on Reddit, and there's like a Reddit.

There's a Blue Chew Reddit.

Hell yeah.

So there's, I guess they're a whole community now of Blue Chew.

I think it's all those come towns I've read if people went to the bottom.

But I saw, like, yeah, I saw this one post.

It was like, do you tell your spouse or whatever?

And all these guys are like, I haven't told her yet, but things are getting pretty serious.

And I don't know.

It's like, what kind of gay world do these people live in?

That fucking, like, that a woman will, like, hey, guess what?

I have a pill, so you don't have to suck my dick for an hour

while

I watch Yellowstone.

So go to bluechew.com and tell your wife.

Yeah, tell your girlfriend.

No awkward visits to the doctor, no waiting in line at the fucking pharmacy.

No, just a hard-ass dick.

A hard-ass dick.

And chewable tablets sent directly to your house in discrete packaging.

And that's my favorite part.

That's the best part, dude.

Because there's other cock enhancement brands.

You get it.

It's a big envelope that says this guy's comet.

Mr.

Soft Dick.

And you want to make sure, too, you're using promo code Come Town or Come Town 20.

Yes.

For

first order free, just pay shipping, and it's only $5, post.

Five fucking bucks for a free month at both.

Madam, where did you get this plan?

How the fuck did you even get that in?

I got it on on fucking Craigslist

from

an office was getting rid of it.

It's like a jungle.

It's really big.

It's really big, yeah.

It's dying, too.

It's not dying.

You need to take better care of it.

It's pretty dormant.

You need to take better care of it.

It was so funny to have a giant plant like that.

I mean, it looks like we're in the zoo, basically.

I like it, honestly.

I love it, too, but it's clearly dying.

You're not taking care of it.

It's not clearly dying.

You don't have to be a little bit more dying.

It doesn't look good.

I have to be honest.

Okay, the plant was sad.

When you move a plant, it gets sad and then it comes back, and it's come back.

You've lived here for years.

I have lived here for a little bit over one year.

And I've had that plant for less than a year.

Okay.

A plant gets sad.

You got your plant, you got your copy of Alice Neal's Painted Truths.

She's a good painter, I have to say.

She's one of my favorites.

And there's Truth Painted.

You should look at the painting.

She's pretty good.

Yes, my next film is a movie called Painted Truths.

It's not my book, it's my girlfriend's book.

And

it's a modern western about

a painter

in New Mexico

who finds out he owes the car.

He paints a picture that the cartel is offended by.

Oh, no.

And so he's being hunted by them, and he has to reinvent himself.

Really?

And where is he exactly?

He's in New Mexico.

New Mexico.

But it's mostly a white community.

It's sort of ex-hippies and stuff.

I see.

But he was, you know.

No Latinos there.

No, he was.

He's painting now because

he was in Afghanistan Oh to deal with the trauma and that yeah, he's so he's paying he had nothing to do after high school So he and he was pissed off about 9-11 so he went over there and his call sign was

and I don't know why they let him get away with that But that's what his call sign was call sign in the army?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Like this is

what he's driving the big army trucks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then so he was a trucker in Afghanistan for the army.

And there was yeah, there was another, there was a black guy in his unit that was like, man, you got to pick a different name.

Yeah, that's fucked up.

You can't be that.

Yeah.

We're supposed to be on the same team here.

And he's like, well, you got to take it up with the general.

Oh, the general gave him that name.

And the gener, so his friend went, and the general raped him.

The general killed him.

And so he's like, now, out of respect for my dead friend, I will never, I will keep this name.

Right.

To honor him.

To honor him.

Which he hated.

He hated the name.

No.

And now it's kind of like.

And now the cartel is after me also.

And so I'm going to show them.

why are they after the painting?

And I haven't used that.

Here we go.

I haven't used that name since my friend died in the army.

Oh, he has to bust it out.

But now that the cartel is after me,

I gotta let out the in me.

Yeah, right.

And they're gonna show me I'm not just some painter

because they got mad at my painting.

But in fact, you're what?

But in fact, he's what?

He's

wow, call sign.

It's called call sign

los desert de los revengiosa.

revengiosa.

That would be a pretty good movie.

Call sign colon.

Se desertas los revengiosas.

Revengiosas.

Yeah.

That sounds like a good movie.

Who wrote that?

Taylor Sheridan.

The man cannot stop.

He is so prolific.

He's so good.

Yep, yep.

Bluechew.com slash Taylor Sheridan.

It'll change your life.

But don't think that it'll afford you the ability to say that word in public.

You've always had that.

It's in your heart.

If you believe.

If you believe you have the past.

But listen.

If you don't, if you're, it's kind of like Peter's.

I believe I can fly.

Remember in Pan Imagination where he tries to see all the food?

If you say it and you don't have the power, we can't help you.

That's right.

So it's up to you, man.

Big risk.

You have to believe.

High risk, high reward.

You have to believe you can fly.

I believe I can say.

I believe I can say the word.

I think about it every night and day.

And I GG.

I'm gonna say,

I'm gonna say that word.

Say that word.

Big black church choir.

Say that word.

Say that word.

That's what's playing in a Cometown fan's head before he says it and gets this shit kicked out of him.

Yeah.

I would love that, dude.

I would honestly love that as some retard who loves the show.

Being like,

I believe I can say it.

And then just being beaten to death.

Like the post office

by a woman.

And then, yeah, his friends reaching out and being like, you really like the show, and then just fucking send it right to the trash.

Locked.

You give him a shout out, dude.

Kitty, he died.

He's actually died.

Take the N-word.

Garbage.

Delete.

That's so good.

Yeah, so go ahead.

Fuck around and find out, boys.

How about you guys fuck around and then so fucking true at him?

My next film is actually about a guy

who

got into listening to podcasts while in Iraq.

And he got, it's a follow-up to call sign.

It's a follow-up.

It's a five-sort of a spiritual companion to it.

Oh, I see.

A spiritual sequel.

Of like Yojimbo and Sanjuro.

Of course.

Sort of a companion film.

And I, oh, fuck.

What happened?

You know when you put too much pressure on like a nail for too long and then you like touch it the other way and it hurts?

Yeah, you do the electric shock.

I just did that to myself.

What was the second movie you said?

Yojimbo and Sanjuro.

I've actually never seen Sanjuro.

I've never seen Sanjuro.

I just know it's packaged with Yojimbo, so that's just what came out of my mind.

What's Sanjuro?

What happens in San Juan?

I've only seen Yojimbo.

Yojimbo's good.

Yojimbo rocks, dude.

That's sick.

Do you know who should take a sort of put their spin on that?

Is

Taylor Sheridan?

And he's like, we started with

Yojimbo, landed on the last samurai, basically.

But the twist is instead of a samurai,

he thinks he's a different.

No, it's called

the first in Japan.

The first one.

Just that final scene on the battlefield against the Gatling gun, and it's a bunch of just guys in like shredder outfits.

And then ju Tom Cruise spinning like a watch chain, dressed like you know, fucking Steve Harvey.

Yeah, he looks like the mask.

And he's like, Y'all got a machine gun now, how?

Damn, I didn't see that.

You guys see the movie.

The last samurai.

Yeah, that's how the movie ends.

That's stuff.

I hate spoilers.

Who's never going to see that?

I might watch it this afternoon.

Why not, dude?

It's sick.

You got our boy Ken Watson Nabez and all that?

Oh, he's good.

And listen, Cruise is great.

He's my favorite.

Dude, I'm Friday Top Gun Boys.

Oh, Oh, my God, really?

I'm so stoked.

Apparently, theaters have been giving it standing ovations.

This is a new top gun.

This is an early ripple.

Brockheimer.

I don't know, but Tom really flies the planes, apparently.

Nah.

Yeah, dude, he's amazing.

He does everything.

He really is incredible.

He's the coolest guy of all time.

I believe I suck dick.

It's really weird his career became I'm the most realistic action guy in the world.

It's strange.

Well, it had to go.

I think that's the way an actor matures into.

Not at all.

Like a hot guy.

Not at all.

He could be actually acting instead of jumping off.

Listen, I'm happy he's doing it.

I love these movies.

I think it's what he likes to do.

I think he likes the stunts and stuff.

They've had a bunch of fucking Oscar-type.

Can you do me a favor and pull up a little something on your phone?

He's never won an Oscar, right?

Ridgewallet.com.

Okay.

Yeah.

Their website is.

Himawari House is filled with many specific Asian restaurants.

Smidge Wallet is a wallet about your guys' dicks because it's just a smidge.

Snacks to media.

There is even a part where one of your characters refers to herself as Miso Soup.

Wow.

Were there any instances you drew from your own experiences that made their way to the pages of your book?

That was actually a real thing that happened, except she wanted her name to be oatmeal.

One of my Korean friends came to the U.S.

for the first time, and my friends and I asked her, what's your American name?

At first she wanted her name to be Harry, like from Harry Potter, and we told her, I don't know if people are going to go for that.

And she said, okay, what about oatmeal?

I really like oatmeal.

I was like, I don't think that's going to work.

Oatmeal's a sick name.

Yeah.

Yeah, she could just turn into like a big titty Asian burning man bitch.

Exactly.

And just say you're non-binary.

Literal dream girl.

It's just fucking big titty Korean burning man, fucking brain-dead psycho.

I'm going to start crying.

Yeah.

Sounds awesome.

Well, I paint the picture, you know,

as an actor.

Right.

As you may remember, my work is the Merovingian.

And as a writer,

my work remembering the Merovingian lines and saying them on my podcast.

My work as the Merovingian.

Also, my work as a writer in recalling Taylor Sheridan's rough script for

Heller.

Hello, Highwater, Yellowstar,

Col sign,

Cole in the N-word,

Los Revenge.

desert the desert

all right we ready to talk about

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So, what's next?

Cards for the Ridge team?

A machine learning wallet that automates the process of making irresponsible purchases, maybe?

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And basically, what they do is they strip down everyday items, their bare essentials.

It's minimalist.

They shave the pussy hairs off it.

Exactly.

Because that's not essential.

No.

That's what I always say.

Gotta shave the pussy hairs off.

That really settles the grass on the field debate in my book.

But here's the deal, guys.

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I don't fucking know.

They got carbon, fiber, aluminum, titanium, premium ridge wallets.

Let's get a premium ridge wallet.

Let's get something real premium.

That sounds awesome.

18 karat gold, perhaps?

Only $225.

Forged gold.

What does that mean, forged?

Oh, it's aluminum-infused carbon finish.

Oh, that's cool.

Wow.

They're forging it in fires.

Men.

Have you watched Yellowstone?

No, I've never seen it yet.

I've watched a couple episodes of it.

I don't understand.

I don't like get.

Well, what I heard is that Kevin Costner's character character carries a Ridge wallet.

Yeah.

Isn't that true?

That's where his name comes from.

It's because it costs money.

I believe he carries the burnt titanium.

Because the wallet costs money.

It costs

more.

Yeah.

And the nerve, the nerve part of his wallet.

It was originally Kevin Costa.

It was the cost

family.

But they shortened it at Ellis Island.

Did they?

Yeah.

What kind of name is that?

Well, his family

slaves in Italy.

And when they came over,

the Ellis Islanders.

They did not know that they had slaves until

the 1900s.

The two drunk Irish guys at Ellis Island who pranked every European family in history by coming up with silly names to them, they were like, nah, we're going to get fired if we let this guy through.

Yeah.

This one's too on the nose.

Yeah, this one's for us.

They're going to know that's us.

Oh, and guess what, guys?

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That is awesome that that happened at Ellis Island.

There was a guy that was just like me that had a shitty job.

Yeah, it was just.

And it's like, oh, what's your name?

Michael Spaghetti Dick?

Yeah.

Okay, we'll put that down.

And then now there's like a guy who's like, hey, I'm the VP of sales at

Merrill Lynch, and my name is Jonathan Spaghetti Dick.

My family came over here in 1885,

and we only recently found out that our name wasn't Spaghetti Dick.

Yeah, I did it at 23.

I did an ancestry.com.

Some asshole at Ellis Island really frankly.

You know what 23andMe is better for?

Guys with second families.

Yeah.

Because then your fucking nosy ass kids do 23andMe.

They connected their half-siblings.

Yeah.

I don't know why anyone would do that.

Yeah, I'm going to send my DNA into a database.

Yeah.

To find out what race I am.

What type of white I am.

I mean, Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

That's like, and for $15,

you can suck my dick, Tom.

To get fence painted in the

adding your fucking genome to some shitty company.

Yeah, I mean, I see

the initial, like, ooh, it'll be fun without realizing, like, oh, they're stealing your fucking data.

Yeah, they have to be funny.

I get the original excitement over it, but then it became very clear that it's like, oh, yeah.

And that's how you got tricked into sucking dick numerous times.

I didn't get tricked.

It sounded fun.

Yeah, exactly.

And they stole your data.

They stole my data.

We'll charge our phone.

You blew a guy for a while.

You blew a guy for a time share.

And then, lo and behold, every time you wanted some of that time

at ridgewall.com, you put in promo code ComeTown or ComeTown20.

Is there a promo code?

Is there a promo code?

It's a promo code.

And you get a great discount at Ridgewall.com on their greatest.

The finest place to wallet.

Dude, someone told me recently that their friend got like 10% Roma, and they were like, oh, fucking sick.

I'm Italian.

And it's like, no, you're actually a gypsy.

You're one of the worst kind of people.

Eldis's family did that.

I think somebody's direct family did.

Maybe it was his dad, maybe it was his sister.

And

they were 100% Albanian.

They were like from their village, like little Vill Ever left.

Nomadic people.

Not to be, I know we joke around, we flirt with racism a lot on the show, but it's all in jest.

But any kind of nomadic people, they're not operating with a full deck.

Those are like,

those are probably unevolved.

They should be classified as a different species, I think.

You mean the Roma?

Any kind of nomadic people.

Ireland has that too.

Ireland has these like roaming, this roaming ethnicity, and they just sell pots and pans to each other and get into fights.

They're just like, have like bare-knuckle boxes.

Yeah, like the guy from Snatch.

Gypsies.

Yeah, there are gypsies.

Irish gypsies.

Yeah.

And

they're apes.

I don't think you're allowed to say gypsy anymore.

I think it's like

a slur.

You say Roma?

You have to say Roma or Romani or something?

Romani.

Romani.

I don't know.

Anybody that travels around sells

that girl?

Did I tell you that's.

Oh, yeah.

Romani, Malco, or Romani.

From the show Weeds.

From 40-year-old Virgin.

40-year-old Virgin.

Was he on Weeds?

Maybe it wasn't even on Weeds.

I don't remember.

I don't even know.

I don't know like a half-episode of that, a half-season of that.

I want to fuck that.

Everyone was sucking off weeds like it was the best show of all time.

Because it's weed, dude.

Weed's cool.

It was back when weeds still had a little more casualty.

That's when weed.

It's when

TV was

starting to get serious.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

It was breaking bad, and then fucking every retard in the world was like,

oh, I think about TV.

I think about the TV shows I watch.

I think about what the TV shows I watch mean.

Yeah, and I disgust it.

And how about this?

You're supposed to get high and watch that shit and not even think about it again.

Yeah.

That's good TV.

Yeah, that's what television was.

It's something that just turned your brain off.

You're supposed to watch it and form opinions, and then on every single double date you have to go on with your girlfriend, you get to talk to the guy about it.

That is one of the game games.

Because it's comet, yeah.

That's one of the gay states.

That you have to date the guy, basically, because they want to have dinner together.

Yeah, I'll have a double date, but it's got to be with a lesbian couple.

Hell yeah, dude.

I'm only talking to chicks.

I'm chilling with that butchie.

Exactly.

We're talking about replacing transmissions.

I hear about this: these things that women make men go through, and it's like, it's time for a change.

Okay, what are you thinking?

It's time for the men to have their own come up.

Okay.

Our own Me Too movement,

if you will.

But this time, we're the ones falsely accusing women of

some sort of crime

that lands them

being used for fuel.

What kind of crime do you think we could falsely accuse them of?

I don't know.

Let's just jump right to the thing where we find a way to use women as fuel.

Imagine.

Do you mean melting them down?

They really had it.

No, so

you're familiar with Tesla.

You're familiar with Tesla's electric car product.

Sure.

I thought, what if, you know, what's the next revolution in automobiles?

Yeah.

And it's.

Bitches in a hamster wheel?

Everyone's always talking about you make want to make sure you never reinvent the wheel.

So what if we applied that literally

to the automobile?

Okay.

I'll hear you.

Step one, no wheels on the car.

Okay.

You replace where the wheels were with naked nude women.

Nice.

Wow.

And they carry the car.

That's awesome.

And, you know, you say, well, what do you have to feed the women?

Or

no, you kill them when they're done.

They're tired.

When you get to the place where you need to go, you kill them.

And there's there's a you get to fuck them?

There there's a two-story back seat in the car, so you have extra women stored there.

And instead of gas stations, we have breeding facilities where we have an endless supply of women slaves

that become the instead of gas, you stop there, and it's simple.

And it's all underground.

It's underground.

So it doesn't take up any more space.

Oh, nice.

The carbon footprint is zero.

It wouldn't go that fast, though.

It's four women running.

Yeah, they're pretty, they're not that good at sports or running.

Well, obviously, a lot of this is proof of concept.

Okay.

I mean, when you figure out the speed.

The speed thing is...

Speed kills.

Speed does kill.

You would never have a there would never there would be the end of deadly car accidents.

That's a great point.

You're saying that car accident.

It would take longer to get to work, but just think about it.

You'd get to work and everyone at the job is a man, so there'd be more efficiency in the workplace.

Right.

Now would you be afraid of somebody going out and fucking your tires?

You start the day.

Yeah, but so what?

Then you just get more tires.

They they just make more tires.

Now what if you fucked one of your tires and you liked it and you wanted to bring it inside?

You'd have to hide it in your attic.

Well, we would

be hiding women.

Yeah, would you?

In this world.

Yeah.

Because you can fuck a tire now and no one cares.

So if women became a tire, then you could probably.

Well,

if they get old enough,

they can't be like a wheel anymore, then you turn them into a tire swing.

You just hang them by their neck in the backyard.

And people can have a go on it.

Right.

Nice.

And what age does that that happen?

You think 19, 18?

You give them, you know, what you do is you use the used w women, you give them to the zoo, and then an elephant sort of knocks them around.

An elephant just sort of whips them around with his nose and kicks it around, and they become toys for elephants at the zoo.

That's a great idea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They do tricks with the women.

Fuck, dude, I'm getting tired.

That fucking Jamaican food made me sleepy.

Yeah, I had two cookies.

I'm going into diabetic shock now.

Yeah.

there.

They took a long time to get it.

It did take their time.

It ruined my day.

That shit ruined my fucking day.

Yep.

We lost a full hour waiting for it.

Yep.

And it was alright.

The guy seemed like a nice enough dude.

He seemed nice.

Does Mike Tyson also have a book called Painted Truths?

No.

Punched Truths.

Punched Truths.

I'm literally falling asleep on the podcast.

Yeah, you call asleep twice.

Dude, I did Skanks last night, and fucking Jay died.

Jay Jay had a seizure.

He had a seizure from dabs.

Yeah.

Dude, you can't see it.

He started seizing for a second and then came back.

That's real drugs.

That's not just getting high on pot.

Yeah.

It's weird to fall asleep on the pipes because it's like I'm just hearing your guys' voices.

It's nice, though, right?

Isn't it comforting?

It kind of is.

You want us to talk you to say?

What if you accidentally turn into a podcast fan because of this?

That would be weird.

And then you get beaten to death in a Dayton mall by trying to say the end.

I love that, dude.

I love that idea.

Hopefully it happens.

Can you give him a shout out?

He loves you.

He loves the show.

He loved the show.

And there was nothing he would love more.

And then if you could just say his name once.

Let me make a point of never using that name.

Yeah, even as a hypothetical joke.

Never.

Take it off the list of fake names.

It just goes dead side as always.

Yeah, I know this guy.

Do you want us to tell you a story as you fall asleep, Sav?

Honestly, yeah, go ahead.

I'm feeling nice right now, dude.

There's a little breeze.

This is actually really comfy.

There was once a boy named Sagros.

He lived in a magical kingdom.

He was the prince of the kingdom.

Everyone loved Sagros.

Why do you have to do that?

You have to tell a kid a story where they're royalty.

I love it.

Just so they can go to sleep.

Well, it's more girls than boys.

You don't tell boys, really.

There was a little girl.

She was a princess.

I thought she was a princess, but she had her her mother her evil mother's genes and so she would grow up to become a tire and

unfortunately she was half her dumb bitch mom

she deserved whatever happened she got it because she wouldn't go to sleep

and she told she told her guidance counselor she was being molested even though she wasn't because she saw that on a tv show and wanted to get attention like a little girl and her father went to jail For guess what?

He was molested.

Yeah.

Sad.

He was molested.

And then when the little girl finally admitted that she was lying, and it's too late, the divorce already happened.

And because of that, the mother killed herself.

And now the little girl has nowhere to go but to live with her father, who is regretfully telling himself that it's family and that's more important than everything.

And even though this little girl fucking made it so that my wife is dead and I got raped in prison,

I'm still going to sit here and tell this fucking bitch a bedtime story.

She's like already asleep.

Yeah, he's hovering a pillow above her head.

Yeah, he's like, well, I guess that's fatherhood.

Coming up next week on Becker.

I think that's what

that's what happened on that show.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

Taylor Sheridan's Becker.

Becker's about a,

he's like, the scrawl man.

It's a Western doctor.

He's a doctor that he has to leave New York.

He's run out of New York on a rail after his daughter.

She sees an episode of Doug where Patty Manes is molested, and she wants the attention that Patty Manes gets.

So she accuses her father of molestation.

And it causes a divorce.

And the father has nothing to do but enlist and go to Afghanistan.

And he just detours.

And then he comes back and he's still, you know, hey, we know you this is molestation guy.

Right.

You got to get out of New York.

So he moves to the new

desert.

Yeah.

Last little bit of the West.

He's found carved out.

And he sets up shop as a, you know, sort of like a frontier medicine doctor.

Right.

And

then that's when he's a Dr.

Quinn medicine pussy.

That Dr.

Quinn medicine guy who thinks he's black.

Because that's sort of always an important element in any story.

Of course.

Is race.

That's what people want now: an exploration of race and gender in America.

Yeah.

Coming up on frontline.

Race.

Good or bad.

Should we get rid of the other ones?

Come back next week on frontline.

I'm head coppel.

I haven't watched frontline forever.

Trump really destroyed frontline.

He's bad, and he's an illegal president, and

Russia did that.

It was all illegal.

Did Frontline do that?

I don't know if they did any Russia gate shit.

I can't imagine that they did.

I feel like they wouldn't.

Yeah.

No, they would.

I feel like they're pretty hard.

No, they were like the whole thing for two years, it was nothing but Putin and Trump.

Really?

On Frontline?

Yeah.

Frontline got like lazy.

They did way too much ISA shit.

They used to be the best.

It was good, yeah.

The ISA stuff was good.

Yeah, but it just was the same content over and over and over again.

My dick used to be the best.

What happened?

You sucked it too long.

It pruned up a little bit.

You just fall asleep and die right now.

That would be your last words.

You sucked it too hard and it pruned up.

Dead.

I wish.

All right, guys.

It's been great hanging out with my friends.

Good night.

And good night.

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