Ep. 301 – garbage man can

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Which chair?

This chair is lovely.

Good afternoon, if you're just joining us, Adam, is complaining about the chair that he bought himself.

No.

After shitting on the other chair.

After shitting on the other chair.

Now he's saying that chair made my legs go numb.

You get another one of your lives.

How do you?

Maybe, perhaps it was your romantic tryst from the night before.

I didn't say it made my ass.

It was having a lingering effect.

I said the legs went numbed from the lack of blood.

Maybe your vaginal nerve.

You do have a vaginal nerve.

Listen, nigga, sometimes it's hard.

The nerve of this guy.

Of this vagina.

The vaginal nerve of this guy.

Sometimes it's hard for your legs not to fall asleep when you're doing a pretzel with him behind your head.

Come town

2020.

The show's ending.

None of us want to do it anymore.

The year is 2020.

What is happening?

Listen, we could do one more year if we record every single episode in one week.

Yeah.

If we did 2023.

Don't tell them that we are doing that.

2023 can happen if we do it in literally one week.

And then I got to rethink the way I sell ads because this year I really fucked it up.

So we're going to do a mystery box thing.

So if you want to buy ad reads for 2022, you send me some information about your business.

And then, you know, we can't promise you when we'll talk about it,

but we will.

But we will.

And we want $150,000.

Up front.

And stay tuned because you got to listen to see what we're doing.

In unmarked bills.

Yeah.

And you'll know because your business will be booming.

They won't need to stay tuned, Adam, because their sales will fucking quadruple through the roof.

Yeah, just watch your sales.

You'll know when we touch it.

You'll know when we fucking mention your bitch-ass product.

Bluechew.com was

one of our sponsors was just two gay guys in a garage

when we started.

You mean Adam and Eve?

But it was you.

Adam and Steve.

It was you and a guy who he asked you to call Eve.

His name was Evan.

He just was a silent N.

Adam and Beave.

Adam and Beave.

But it's not

pussy.

It's a beaver that puts his tail in your bath.

And he thumps on it.

He thumps onto your prostate, and that's how you come.

That would probably feel pretty.

If you like getting

your prostate stimulated, a beaver thumping it probably would feel good.

Mario giving this guy dabs.

Yeah, I love the dabs.

Yeah.

If you're just joining us at home, we are watching episode, I'll tell you right now, season 18, episode 6 of Mari, and it's now at minute 32.09.

He is really my hero, this guy.

And a hot woman.

Mr.

Povich.

A hot woman named Shineida, I believe.

Or Shaleda.

is claiming that June

is

I barely know her.

June is a cool guy's name.

We were just talking about, actually, we will talk about on Sunday how men have women's, how women took men's names.

Yeah, they were all men.

June is a cool name for a guy.

Yeah.

What day is it today?

This episode?

Do you know?

This is March.

Is it March?

March 2nd.

Okay.

Yeah.

Wow.

Top of the morning to us all.

Top of the morning.

St.

Patty's just around the corner.

I'm going to be in Vancouver this weekend.

I'm going to be in St.

Louis, the one after that, Chicago, Burlington.

Going to my brother's bachelor party, which I have already planned.

What are you guys doing?

I will have already planned when it is March 2nd.

No joke, I'm trying.

One of the activities might be going to Maury.

I'm doing it in New York.

We rented a big house in Queensland.

No, it's Connecticut.

Connecticut, but it's only 40 minutes from Astoria.

Oh, that's right, dude.

Is it in Connecticut or in French or something?

No, no, it's in like whatever it is, it's 40 minutes from Astoria.

Oh, I thought it was like the My TV studio in Secaucus.

I used to drive by there because that's where they did the Morton Downey Jr.

show.

Yeah, that was in Sekaka.

You don't know about it.

Yeah.

No, but I watched the documentary.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Who's Morton Downey Jr.?

You've never been to Secaucus.

You've never been to the game.

I went to the place.

I used to go to the place all the time.

Did you watch the game?

The show?

Did you watch the game?

Did you watch the show?

No, did you watch the game?

The show is off airplane.

I don't know where I am.

The show is off air.

I'm thinking about games.

What?

Because I'm a fucking person.

Because I'm stupid.

Mr.

Cuomo's here.

Mr.

Cuomo.

Okay.

Adam, don't interrupt the photo.

Why are you interrupting me?

You should.

Stop.

If you haven't seen it, you got to watch the documentary about Morton Downey James.

You haven't seen the consequences of your actions.

What are those consequences?

Being put in the cabinet for the litha bars,

which is where you'll do the show from now on.

If that was the case, then I would.

Well, we do have a guest coming.

We're going to trust the science.

We're going to trust the data.

And from what we've seen, the place where you belong is inside the cat's bathroom

do you think you could fit in that litter box Adam just hypothetically fuck you well think my fuck you my body type and and ethnic makeup and genetics makes me incredible squeezing into tight spaces and hiding in tiny little spaces yeah

well it's been a while though No.

No, I'm always ready.

You're always ready?

Oh, yeah.

I stay ready.

ready.

Yeah, I guess this hasn't been.

I guess you're

regeneration.

I should reread Flowers for Algernon and Anne Frank's Diary.

Just because they come up so often.

Do they?

And I feel like if I had a more concrete

understanding, they would be easier to make up.

He gets pussy in flowers for Algernon, and then he gets too retarded.

He gets it, and then he gets too retarded.

She's like, I'm not

chilling.

She gets mourning, too.

And gets her period, I believe.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, I haven't read Anne Frank's Diary.

Oh, you gotta read it, bro.

I don't really.

I feel like I missed it.

They should have made me read it at school.

It's fire.

You know what

I am reading right now?

Because we were talking about a couple months ago,

we had a

history lesson

where we went over Israel.

Yeah.

And you said that it was, that at a certain point,

Alaska was considered.

Yeah, you're reading the Yiddish Police Manager.

I'm reading the Yiddish Policy.

I read that book.

For real.

not even lying.

I read that book.

I'm reading it now.

And we had that conversation, and it unlocked the memory in my brain of listening to that guy on fresh air when I was driving back from probably,

I don't know where.

When did it come out?

Was it like high school?

He wrote that other book, Cavalier and Clay.

Cavalier and Clay?

The Adventures of Cavalier and Clay.

Who were they?

Two gay guys.

This had something to do with Harry Houdini.

I read it when I was in high school.

I don't fucking remember, though.

Anyway, the Yiddish Policeman books and some there was a comic book element.

The Yiddish policeman genius pretty humble.

There's a French fry element.

I gotta pull up that clip.

This fucking dumbass reading, Eating the Shake Shack.

Keep talking.

Oh, yeah.

De Blasio.

Billy D.

Who's now?

He's free.

Set free, dude.

Genie, you're free.

What do you think De Blasio's doing with his time off?

I think you and me both know, buddy.

Just clapping cheeks.

Build the clapasio.

Oh, my God.

Build the fuckasio.

He is in the

born Warren Sio.

We need everyone to get vaccinated.

Warren Wilhelm Jr.

So we know we have to make it convenient.

We know we have to make it easy.

We know we need opportunities for people to speak to their trusted community.

Voices, doctors, etc.

We're doing all that.

But we also know

that

incentives help.

They really do.

And so we've been announcing free tickets, gift cards, all sorts of incentives to encourage people.

A lot of people are ready to get vaccinated.

They just haven't gotten around to it.

They need a little extra incentive.

We're doing that now.

And we are going to have a lot.

He reads his daily briefing off like a fucking Cheesecake Factory menu.

It is laminated.

That's sick.

We've corresponded this.

Because they know he's going to spill.

Yeah.

Because the mayor of the city can't be trusted not to have an oopsie all over his.

I'd give him credit.

He is 6'5.

Fuck him.

De Blaggin is worth having a net worth of

that means a lot to all of us as New Yorkers.

Because one thing I think that does unite New York.

Yeah, that's every politician.

You get into some kind of executive office.

How the fuck did you say that?

Obama's net worth was like $20,000 before he became president.

That's sick.

And now he's worth like $80 million or something.

Yeah, because he's out there sucking off Richard Branson.

Oh, shit.

Let's find out if...

Hold on, hold on.

Live from the original Shake.

Pause it.

We have to find out if June was the father.

That was a lie.

Whoa,

it's your cousin, Monique, you fucking bitch.

You tried you tried to sabotage their fucking relationship.

Oh, it's her cousin.

Have you ever had sexual intercourse with your cousin June?

You said no.

The lie detector test determined you're telling the truth.

Of course, the fuck.

This girl is hot, though.

The lie detector test determined you're telling the truth.

Oh,

interesting.

Don't you want to know that the moment I hear?

I don't care what he's doing.

Let's find out how to father.

That's not picking up at all, bro.

Yeah, it is.

You can hear it?

Yeah.

In your headphones?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, and she's struggling.

Take responsibility for your kid.

Take responsibility.

Take responsibility for your kid.

Take responsibility for your kid.

Actually, maybe it's not picking up.

I don't know.

Psychology.

No, I was rooting for June.

You rooted for the father.

I was rooting for the father.

Shake Shack location in Madison Square Park, the CEO of Shake Shack, and he is generously joining into this incentive effort.

And I welcome him.

My pleasure to introduce CEO Randy Garudi.

Welcome, Randy.

Randy gay sexy.

Good morning, Mr.

Mayor.

Good morning, New Yorkers.

I'm Randy Garudi, the CEO of Shake Shack, and we are here live in Madison Smart Park at the original shack.

20 years ago,

this shack was born as a humble New York City hot park.

It started here to raise a little money for this park.

And even today, all of our rent

goes directly to paying for this park's beautification.

We were born and raised in this city.

This park eats the fucking sand.

There are a lot of hot women in that park.

I like that park.

Having lunch in the middle of the day.

Yeah, I go there.

I get pushed.

I'll tip to our listeners.

If you want to leave

hot women having lunch

when it's a little bit warmer out.

there.

Thank you so much, Randy.

Thank you to the whole Shake Shack team.

This is really going to help us out.

And did you say free fries when you get vaccinated?

Not even a fucking burger.

I got vaccinated.

You're saying I could get this?

You delicious fries?

My matt.

His mouth.

But there's also a burger element to this.

Oh, a burger element.

You flip the ball.

Let me check with Bill Ritard.

Is it two or three?

Bill Retard.

Yeah.

Wait a second.

He's got a friend named Bill Retard.

Bill de Blasio, Bill Retard.

Dude, that would be so sick.

Bill Retard.

I heard you're going to be on De Blasio's show.

That's right.

Let me check with Bill Neetard.

Is it Joe?

Neatard.

Oh.

Neetard.

Even better.

Even better.

A little something for me.

The smile across Nick's face.

You hadn't even considered NITAR.

There's a different element that's been introduced now.

900 episodes in.

I've never gotten to NITAR.

It sounds a bit like the burger element.

Yeah, okay.

There you go.

We'll allow that.

It's going to be breakfast.

Okay.

Okay.

I want you to look at this.

Why do you say okay like a fat woman?

Again,

some people love hamburgers, some don't really want to respect all ways of life.

But if this is a picture of...

How about respecting people that don't want to take the fucking vaccine?

Right.

Where is their free shit?

Respect.

The good people of Staten Island, who've been living off disability and are now

storming burger camp GoPros.

Who have no problem with heartburn and heart medicine in general.

I walked by one of those the other night.

Outside Union Square.

Was it happening?

Was it like in the mix?

It was like 12 people trying to get into Union Union Square Cafe.

That's awesome.

There was like a lady like,

in 2021, you're not letting a disabled woman eat the food.

And the cops just like bored as shit.

Yeah.

They're like, we're going to be killing people right now.

They're like, do you understand?

We know you're racist and you're stopping us from killing black people.

So think about that.

This is a waste of time.

Just think of this when you think of vaccination.

Mmm.

Vaccination.

Why is he talking with his mouth full?

I'm getting a very good feeling.

Because he's not good at literally anything.

Except clapping cheeks.

About vaccination right at this moment.

Thank you to Randy Garudi.

And of course, Danny Meyer for doing so much to help us.

And my favorite.

Nagatard.

My chief of staff, Nagat.

Nagat Neatard.

Dude, Neetard is great.

Like, imagine growing up and your name rhymes with Retard.

Growing up in the 80s.

You know what I mean?

And your name rhymes with Retard.

You know, all the kids on the playground were incredibly respectful about his background, whatever led him to have that name.

Yo, this lady's Caitlin

is married to someone named Keanu.

There's an extra U in there.

Keanu.

Keanu.

Oh, damn.

So do you want to know what this guy looks like?

Imagine Keanu Reeves would make him even gayer.

Me.

Both a name.

He's not gay looking.

He's hot.

Keanu?

Yeah, dude.

The original Keanu.

He's a peaceful looking guy.

You guys ever swoosh dyed Dr.

Pepper on your mouth and it foams up a little bit?

No.

Fucking awesome.

No, I don't aspirate it like a wine or whatever that's called.

Dude, it feels like you're eating a slushy.

Is that what that's called?

No.

Where you pump food?

Pump food in your mouth.

I don't think so.

Wow, this lady that wants the DNA test has a Monroe piercing?

A Monroe piercing.

She has huge eyes, but it's still ugly somehow.

Disgusting.

Big eyes is usually kind of a cheat code to look hot.

Yeah, Keanu's...

Keanu's bitch is not looking too

hot.

Keanu.

Oh.

Keanu has a huge nose.

He probably has a large penis.

Oh, yeah.

He's got that look of those tall guys with big Adams apples that have probably like big ass dicks.

Yeah.

Gray sweatpants, guys.

Yeah, they were always unathletic, but then in gym, they would change, and you would just look at their huge, delicious cocks.

You'd be with the rest of the girls in the girls' locker room.

And like it's porkies.

Looking through the peep.

By the way, I watched Porkies thinking it was going to be a movie.

I was just stop in high school looking through like a keyhole in the vending machine.

Why would I do that?

You could easily look at the vending machines.

You didn't even have to look through a peephole.

That's what makes it funny.

Do you guys ever seen Porkies?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

So I saw Porkies.

Think it was going to be like an hour and a half just like tits.

And like,

it's a movie about them having a feud with some guy they try and buy pussy from.

Yeah.

It's not good at all.

Yeah, you should have watched The Last American Verge and like Nick and I told you to.

Wait, do we have this conversation?

I don't know.

Are you ready for the sex?

Are you ready for the sex girl?

The big breast girl.

Big, big

Are you ready for the fucking pan pussy?

Are you fucking focusing on your pussy?

Apparently,

they used that song also in Revenge of the Nerds.

I'm sucking dick because I am gay.

Are you ready to suck my dick?

None of that old-fashioned

Are you ready for the pony girls?

Pony girls,

ride pony Like they ride your cops?

Are you ready for the lonely girl?

The Zambo

We gotta get back in that era where this show was just

40 minutes of music.

Yeah, 40 minutes of white snake.

We were doing that at the end of the cabin run, I feel like.

We were playing a lot of music.

Oh, look who remembers his romantic evenings.

He is the father?

Keanu's the father, and now he's happy.

And he wants to be the father.

I love that when they accuse their wife of cheating on them, and then

they're proven to be a liar.

Now he's hugging his wife and he's a woman.

Now he's happy.

Damn.

He brought her on Maury because she should be pissed.

He accused her of being a whore.

White trash girls like this have no self-esteem.

They should have a show called Moron.

And he's like, no, she says that you're the father.

Explain what that means.

Like, well, when a man and a woman they have sex, they have a baby.

What do you mean to have sex?

Coming up on Moron.

I'm 13 years old and nobody can tell me what the fuck to do.

Moron was at some, at some point every word used to be, every word that we say is like stupid used to mean retard, right?

Like moron.

Moron, idiot, dun, stupid, dun, idiot,

mongoloid, of course.

Yeah.

Poindexter.

So that's what they think.

Why don't we just let retard take its natural course?

Yeah.

Instead of making it

so offensive, it would have run its course by now.

And we just let it be in the lexicon.

But no.

That's what I say about the N-word.

Well, that's a little different.

We're giving it powers.

I think that's a little different.

If we all say it, then it doesn't have power, brother.

You're actually technically correct.

I think that was the point Michael Richards was trying to make.

It's just a word.

He didn't really put it very much.

Those guys are knee-tards up there.

A couple of Bill Neatards.

20 years ago, they would have been in Madison Square Park cooking Shake Shack for you all day.

Don't laugh.

It's not funny.

Don't laugh.

Neetard.

You ever fuck with a nebulizer, guys?

You ever have asthma as a child?

No.

No.

Really?

We had nebulizers on deck at the Halkis household.

No, Max, my lungs are actually in good shape despite

being

fucking lazy.

Smoking bogies.

Vaping all day long.

Vaping, smoking.

Vaping.

Smoking cigarettes for 20 years.

Getting coronavirus every eight weeks.

Yeah, getting repeated coronavirus.

Links had coronavirus constantly.

Link has had every single variant.

He's like the patient zero.

You know me.

I'm a completionist.

Of course.

You have to have every fucking little

variant.

I heard that the coronavirus was actually started by a gay guy having sex with a monkey.

Really?

Yeah.

Are you thinking of AIDS?

Oh, no.

Yeah.

That is so funny.

That's not true, right?

That's not how AIDS started.

Well, they

started in a fucking lab.

Every disease.

Every disease.

Yeah, woo-hoo.

The fucking military experimenting on shit, and then they killed a bunch of people.

And they're like, actually, it was a monkey.

An African guy had sex with it.

And they could get away with that until basically two years ago.

Right.

Yeah.

And they'd be like, yeah, some dumb fucking jungle guy

married a gorilla.

Yeah.

They're like, it makes.

And now gay guys can't fuck each other.

And I'm Dr.

Anthony Fauci.

This has been...

That was Anthony Fauci Sr.

Junior.

Basically, he got married to a monkey.

Every study we have points to the indication

that

a African-American man was married to a baboon.

And during a heated domestic dispute,

the baboon threw a bottle of hypnotic at his head.

And some of the grease from the baboon's hand mixed with the hypnotic creating the HIV virus which we have yet to isolate and will never have a vaccine for because it doesn't actually exist

yeah isn't real the government chooses a hundred gay guys at random every three weeks to kill speaking of

super speciosa are you getting a package or something no you guys you guys talk about that for a second while I'll make sure this isn't the police okay oh yeah so the cops are downstairs.

So first of all, pray for us.

Yep.

Nick was at a...

You know, Nick always said that if he was born black, he'd be dead.

Well, Nick was trying to get into David's bridal, but they wouldn't let him in without his vaccine.

Yeah.

And he was like, please, I want to try the dresses.

Yeah, it's my right.

Why would you call it David's then?

That's a guy's name.

My name is Nick.

I have a manner named David.

I should be able to try on the dresses regardless of my vaccination status.

That's true.

And so the police now have a warrant out for his arrest.

So hopefully that's not him.

But hopefully he can get through this stressful time with some nice, cool kratom powder.

That's true.

And you can get that at super speciosa.

Oh,

a new Vitamix.

A new Vitamix.

I mean, a new box of Super Especiosa Kratom.

That's awesome.

What do you mean, a new Vitamix?

It's a gift.

Oh, first someone.

Oh, that's nice.

No, it's a box of kratom.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But they...

I love buying people Vitamix.

It is a nice gift.

It's a very good gift.

I've got

a couple people.

No one wanted the Neuro Fuzzy.

What?

No one.

That's because they haven't tried the Reinzzyze.

Yeah, everybody I've offered it to has just said.

That's because they don't understand the power.

Well, they're like, oh, that'd be great if I'd made rice that often.

Wow,

you don't eat rice enough?

And then I go,

well, it's just...

The Neuro Fuzzy is Japanese, not Chinese.

I know, but I'm speaking the Chinese people that I know.

Oh, I see.

So basically, well, they definitely make rice, though.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

They're like, well, they're like, I would much rather have a Vitamix to put a dirty diaper in to make a dirty diaper sauce.

That's not a type of Chinese sauce.

I want to have a dirty diaper sauce from Sweden.

That is not a kind of sauce.

Getsuperleaf.com.

Get Super Leaf Common.

I love GetSuperleaf.com.

If you like the taste of dirty diapers, you'll love the taste of kratom.

That is actually probably true.

They start off with a bunch of the Southeast Asian dirty diapers, dry them out, put them in a Vitamix.

Like beef, they put them in a food dehydrator, like jerky, and they grind them up as Vitamix, and they send it to Anthony Fauci's lab

to guarantee

that this shit definitely fucking works.

And let me tell you something.

I'm going to disparage this product a lot.

Okay.

Interesting.

I would say don't disparage it.

I would say

whatever.

I said I've disparaged this product a lot.

Oh, you have?

But that's only because I dismiss this stuff.

Look, you can, if there's one thing you can trust me on, it's that the things we sell on this show

are, I see some value in them.

Right.

It's not.

Be it illegal sports betting.

Well, legal.

Legal.

Or clothes for finance guys.

Right.

There's some value.

We like the products.

We are not, we definitely wouldn't advertise literally anything as long as someone gave us $6,000.

Let me tell you something.

I have taken this stuff

to what some might describe as excess.

To the limit.

Nick has pushed it to the limit with regards to some of this beautiful products that get super leafy.

I had a couple of months I'd like to call my reverse scarface era

in which I was losing a bunch of money,

becoming more of a coward and getting fucked up on down.

But you had a problem.

Some of you might remember those as some of the worst episodes we've done, that era.

And you have getsuperleaf.com to thank you.

Basically, got to...

I tell you, this shit got me through the Capitol riot.

Having to read people I used to respect demand that everyone helps the FBI.

There is nothing to do but turn to a bunch of dirty diaper sauce.

You got to grind up the dirty diaper sauce.

From getsuperleaf.com.

But here's the thing.

You don't even need a vitamin because you need any dirty diapers.

It already comes

in a capsule.

A tea or a powder.

That's right.

Pea.

And it is a really nice product.

It gets you feeling mellow.

It gives you some energy.

Yeah, mellow and energy.

It's like...

It's both.

I don't know.

I can't remember if this is in the copy or just something I read online, but many have described it as combining a Percocet with a cup of coffee.

One of the nicest little combos there are.

And I don't, and now that I think that was not in the cup.

It's certainly not in the copy, and legally we didn't say that.

Yeah, but it is.

I imagine, you know what this shit would be great for?

What's that?

And you would have to chase it with,

ideally, if you could put it in coffee without making the coffee.

Right.

It tastes like dog dick.

So, you know, I would go the capsule route.

I would go to capsule and drink a cup of coffee.

The powder is the easiest way to do it.

Yeah.

Your big heaping table scoop, because if you go to capsules, you got to, if you're trying to, if you're trying to, if you're trying to make the day go by,

you know?

Yeah.

And look, if you like niche, electronic,

weird type of music, I'll say this.

Good friend,

Dan Deacon, used to do Kratom years ago.

Yeah.

He was on the bleeding edge of this stuff.

So if you want to be as cool.

And now he's dead.

And now Dan is dead.

Now he's dead, Deacon.

I remember that's the first time I ever saw Kratom.

He was doing a show here in Brooklyn.

I hung out with him.

He had scoops of all this fucked up powder.

I was like, what the fuck is this?

I took some of it.

I was like, this is pretty good.

Years later, I would take a different type of Kratom and I would say, wow, this is even better.

And that's Get Super Leaf.

And that's this Kratom from GetSuperLeaf.com.

Super specioso.

Yeah, I'm imagining I'm at work at the car dealership.

I got to go in.

I'm going to be there 12 hours.

I want to die.

Right.

And then I take.

My wife is cheating on me.

I'm pretty sure of it.

I take eight to 12 kratom capsules with my cup of coffee in the morning.

Cut a lot of people's brake lines by accident.

And the boss has no idea.

Right.

They have no idea who they hired by accident, but it doesn't matter because I live off commission.

He's checked out too.

The boss also barely gives a fuck.

I just sit in my cubicle in the double wide next to the old Trinidadian man that has to be rushed to the hospital for mini strokes once a week.

And I'm fucked up on Kratom.

Doesn't that sound awesome, guys?

Yeah.

And that's it, getsuperleaf.com.

They have tablets, too.

I haven't tried the tablet.

I guess

they're just pressed into a tab.

Actually, the tablet kind of splits a difference.

It might be better.

I like the tablet.

Yeah, so buy Kratom tablets.

It's just like they're innovating over at getsuperleaf.com super speaking.

This shit is lab-verified, clean, safe, and GMP compliant.

What's GMP, you ask?

Good question.

Get money pussy.

Our selection of kratom powder for sale features popular.

Green, red, and white vein kratom.

The green, that's the light skin kind.

Light skin kratom be like.

Yeah.

The kratom you find in our stores contains only pure kratom and leaf, and its natural form has not been altered in any way.

It's awesome.

Let me go to the tablets here.

Green Mong Dung Kratom tablets out of stock.

Red Mein Mein Tong Datum Krablets.

Out of stock.

White Mei Dang Trong Kratom tablets out of stock.

Green Bali Kratom tablets out of stock.

And that's how good this shit is.

It's flying off the shelves.

It looks like they're completely sold out.

But you know what?

By the time you're listening to this,

it'll be back in stock guaranteed.

This is even better, too, because dude, when you click on the buy link, you go to it, we have a promo code.

It's either Come Town or Come Town 20.

It's either Come Town or Come Town So it gets you 20% off your order.

But you go to the website, and it's covered in branding that says 120% off your order.

Click here.

Sort of like negating any kind of benefit.

The necessity for even thinking of entering their promo code.

Even though you probably have heard of it from us, you probably aren't entering the promo code and we aren't getting credit.

We're not getting credit, and therefore it damages our ability to do the show again another year, which we won't be doing anyways.

Which we won't be doing anyways, unless we can figure out a way to do it in one 24-hour period.

One 24-hour period?

And the sponsors will just, I'll just send them my monthly budget.

And then they can figure out why I've spent $300 this month on twist ties.

Well, you know what?

We could.

We could.

How about this?

We do every single bonus for the year, and then

we meet up to record advertisements, and we cut them into episodes from 2000.

When did we start?

16?

We should start doing ads the way that other shows do them, which is just

after the show, Lewis struggles to read something off a piece of paper.

And then they just insert it into the part of the show before even the dumb intro music.

Oh, interesting.

No one listens to that.

Well, but then we wouldn't be able to eat up over half of the show by quote-unquote, doing the ads.

You know what I'd like to eat up half of?

A man's penis.

And then also eat up half the other half.

A bag of Kratom.

Yeah, I would love that.

That sounds delicious.

Both things you would love, Adam.

No, absolutely.

I agree, though.

I would like to eat up a bag of Kratom, too.

And where would I get it from?

Get Super Pennsylvania.

GetSuperleaf.com or Super Speciosa.com.

Get Super Penis.

Get Super Penis?

I would love that website.

In your conception, what does a super penis look like?

Super penis?

All right, well, here we go.

Get superleaf.com slash come town.

There it is.

So it's right in the URL.

Right in the fucking URL.

Yeah.

It takes all the guesswork out of it.

So you have to go to that specific URL.

So they deal with the People's Court over Zoom?

Just to be clear, this product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

No, but it makes you feel awful.

Yeah.

It makes you feel real good.

Make you feel fucking awful.

I'm just taking some more shit.

I'm fucked up.

We should do an episode on Kratom.

Yeah.

Just as a testimonial.

As a testimonial.

I'm on Kratom right now.

A breastimonial.

This woman on People's Court, not the one that looks like Tim Dylan, but this one.

This one, yeah.

She got a drum.

I thought I fucked up.

I actually did.

That looks like Tim Dylan.

It does look like Tim Dylan.

I'd fuck the judge, too, but the judge don't fuck her.

She'd have to be wearing the robe.

Yeah.

Put her up on a counter, fuck her under the robe.

I would love to get head from this judge.

This is season 25, episode 22 of the People's Court.

I'd like to be high.

Originally aired October 5th, 2021.

I'd like to be

under her robe.

Eating her pussy.

Eating her pussy.

At Getsuper Leaf.

During the trial.

At Super Leaf driving.

I'll tell you what.

That's going to be all the reasons for it.

I'll tell you what.

I'd love to fuck this actress on In the Heat of the Night at getsuperleaf.com slash Comptex.

I'd love to blow Kratom into the judge on the People's Court's pussy.

Yeah.

Yeah, that lady can get it.

That's yeah, she can really get it.

Stop looking at my girlfriend.

That lady looks like Tim Dylan.

Yeah, incredible.

I want a roundhouse kicker head off her shoulders.

Would you get head from the Tim Dylan-looking lady to get head from the other lady?

As like a

troll,

exactly.

You have to.

You get head from her, but you get to fuck the other lady.

I mean, of course.

What am I out?

I'm asking the question.

The answer is, of course.

Thank you, you, Nick.

Adam?

No.

See that?

And that's why we play the game, Nick.

I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend.

You can play the game if you cheated.

You can play the game at GetsSuperlief.com.

Yeah, you can.

And the game is by hundreds of thousands of dollars of Kratom.

Yeah, by a lot of it.

Because it's the highest quality.

It's independently labeled.

And look, these supply chain issues, you never know when you're going to get a chance to have more Kratom.

So you can supply chain.

Where is it gone?

Is it in my ass?

Is it in my ass?

What is happening?

It's just one of those huge boat chains, but

it's coming out of

Tucker's ass like a magician taking out handkerchiefs.

Already in 2022, three shipping containers have been lost in my ass.

And it's going to get a lot worse.

Microchips are impossible to find, probably because they're shoved up my ass.

what is going on

oh fuck i love his concerned face that he has when he gets upset about something yeah when he looks like a little bijan freeze and lost his ball yeah exactly he does look like that

oh fuck dude

Fuck, what was I?

What did I ask you?

I asked a question that I think was really rife for discussion.

Getting head from the big ones, you can get head from the big choice.

No, there was something before that, but I'm forgetting.

The gambler's choice.

The gambler's choice.

Oh, you see that they found out.

Okay, how about Odinger from Schrodinger's Cats?

It was a pedophile.

Interesting.

When was he alive?

That was some news from two months ago.

When was he alive?

I don't know.

In the olden days?

What people scored episode is this?

Let's go ahead and.

I already said.

Season 25 episode season 22.

Oh, you're going to look up her name.

Yeah.

Let's go on.

October 5th, 2021 was the original air day.

Yes.

More info.

Pooch problems.

Oh, so she's there's something wrong with her poochie.

Her poochie's all fucked up.

Dr.

Poochie.

I am a scientist, but I also have a dog's pussy.

I have the pussy of a dog.

The pussy of a dog.

I have given birth to a litter of puppies.

They're all sucking my eight nipples.

The pussy of a dog.

Very funny.

I'm a man, but when I see a hot Rottweiler, my dog pussy starts to get wet.

Do dogs' pussies get wet?

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

They do.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think the dog's dick is wet.

Oh, the dog's dick is wet.

The dog's pussy get pushed.

You know for a fact, Adam.

Oh, yeah.

It would be funny if your dick had to get wet.

Yeah.

It would be funny funny if your dick had to get wet.

Men had to titch, and they gave birth, and women were just this dry hole.

Dry, flat-chested hole.

They're like, Can my name be Steven also?

Shut up.

Fine.

I don't care.

That would be horrible.

I put on a little Airbud.

My dog soaks the couch.

Airbud?

She wants to fuck Airbud?

How old is Airbud?

Hold on.

She might be a pedophile.

I put on a hot dog show.

Mm-hmm.

She's going to soak up the whole thing.

Well, because you're right.

A dog's dick is inside, so it's slimy and shit.

The little red rocket pops out, and it's wet.

Also, I don't think dog girl dogs can come, can they?

Most animals can't come, they come every day.

That's just because dogs ain't be hitting it right.

Rachel, Rachel, I can tell you, first of all, thank you for having me on, Matt Ow.

I can guarantee you a dog's pussy can come.

Take it from me, personally.

Thank you, Dr.

Fauci.

Dr.

Poochie.

Thank you, Dr.

Poochie.

Dr.

Poochie.

Dr.

Poochie.

He's got a dog's pussy.

Where does the fur star?

Like, is it just a skin?

There's so many interesting questions.

I'm a scientist.

I have a dog's pussy.

What kind of dog?

How big is it?

I just.

There's just so much I want to know.

Have you found this woman's name yet?

No.

Fuck, dude.

Oh, oh, look, there's a picture of her.

Okay.

She looks pretty good.

She looks good.

Oh, I did fuck her, actually.

No, dude.

Stop.

I did, actually.

She the defendant?

I can't tell.

We're listening to it.

She's got a kid, so that means she's fucking.

So you know the pussy's good.

You know, she's fucked before.

I wonder if the pussy bounced back okay.

Your honor, can we call in?

Yeah.

We're going to have to take a look at this woman's.

The jury's requesting to see pictures of the witness's pussy.

Before and after giving birth.

I want to see before and after.

Look at this woman watching a video with her dog.

You should get a fresh pussy.

You should get a little pussy freshened up after you give birth.

If you want it.

if you want it i'm not saying you force it on every woman if they want their pussy to get fucked up but

if it only feels fair yeah you go through that whole ordeal you should get a freshened up pussy a whole ordeal a whole ordeal

speaking of a whole ordeal you got a

whole new deal with dietsmoke.com wow

fdr the only thing we have to fear is not getting basically edibles over the mail that's That's right.

Not only did he say that, it makes total sense of why you said that.

Yeah, yeah.

What the relation to when you were talking about it.

Well, you said New Deal.

Oh, yeah.

You know?

The only thing we have to fear is...

Why does he sound like SidePoint?

He's paying full price for DietSmoke.com.

Fly aside, that doesn't sound safe.

I might be in a wheelchair, but I can still get pussy from a 19-year-old.

Wheel Cherokee.

That's good.

It's the handicapped Indian.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yes, sir.

He's like, hey, I'll warrior.

He doesn't have to be in a wheelchair to say that.

Hey, How Warrior, how you doing?

By the way,

by the way, I'm in a wheelchair.

Hey, how are you?

How are you doing?

How it's going?

How you been?

What is the wheel Cherokee?

Because he still, I would assume, has pains pains in his legs.

Yeah, and he does it at dietsmoke.com.

What does he use to dull some of that pain?

Well, he uses

the glamour shot.

They're selling on this.

Dude, they're making us horny.

They're putting it

out for a stroll.

Put him on your bitch.

Yeah.

Put him on your bitch.

Put him on your bitch.

Bring balance back to your day with Diet Smoke Delta A THC Gummies.

It's the perfect medium high, folks.

They come in two flavors: raspberry and watermelon.

Isn't that right, Star?

That's correct.

And I love both.

I can tell you, both are equally delicious.

This is a smooth buzz, and that you guys can enjoy.

That's so fucking smooth.

Sometimes I get a buzz, but it's not too smooth.

I hate a rough buzz.

A rough buzz?

Nothing worse than that.

Nothing worse than a rough buzz.

You're probably wondering, so what the fuck is Delta 8?

Just what the fuck is this bullshit?

What the fuck is this?

It's 100% legal THC.

Delta-8 is simply a slightly less potent tetrahydrocannabinol Delta-9

subunit

of the marijuana plant.

Oh, what the fuck is that?

They're showing a picture of a dog's pussy?

Oh, that's another dog got bit.

This is the pooch problem.

That's Voucher's pussy.

That's Voucher's pussy.

You have no idea how resilient the dog pussy can be.

Sav says a woman's pussy gets fucked up for one kid try a litter of 12 dogs I had I I gave birth to 12 puppies during the pandemic yep and now they've been taken by Trump who's turning them into a beautiful coat oh no

12 Dalmatians they came out of Anthony Pucci's pussy he kind of looks like Corella de Ville who Eugene Carroll yeah that's true that's true that's true

Corella de Ville diet smoke is non-prescriptive

it's a non-prescription, so you can skip the doctor visit.

No prescription or medical marijuana card required.

None of that.

You can get it.

You don't need a fucking doctor.

Somebody.

Maybe you a fucking pussy.

Some nerd who tried it hard at school.

A cough.

Let me hold your balls.

You know that kind of thing.

That you're probably most familiar with is Delta 9.

Right.

And while both are natural to the cannabis plant, Diet Smoke extracts your Delta 8 from hemp.

Somebody called this a loophole.

I call it the secret recipe to getting a smooth, stable, and most importantly, legal high.

That's such an awesome sentence.

Why even bring up that it's a loophole?

I mean, it is.

So, basically, what Delta 8 is, is imagine you're a pedophile and you find somebody that's 18 years old, but they had some sort of pituitary disorder, so they look like a child.

Yeah,

all that type.

And you are just

tearing that shit up.

Just tearing that shit up.

It's a mild pedophilia.

It doesn't compare to the buzz of actual pedophilia.

When you're looking for something a little less.

If you're women on People's Court season 25, episode 22, you know which one.

And you happen to be a listener of this show.

Right.

And you're looking to leave your husband and your child.

Yeah, don't bring the child.

Yeah, for, let's say, an afternoon.

Right.

Of bugles and whatever may be.

And wherever it may go.

Maybe a a little delta.

Date from our friends over at Dyed Smoke.

And they were trying to watch your figure after you got all loose from that.

After that pussy got beat it up.

From the baby, you didn't want to.

And then

shitted out a little baby.

And the baby didn't want, but now your dream

of cheating on your husband.

Your husband.

Your lifelong dream.

Cheating on your husband with...

you know, a mentally disabled man-child with a fading

whose 15 minutes ended two years ago.

Right.

And now you're just biding your time until the FBI asked you about people you were texting on January 6th.

That kind of guy.

Yeah, that kind of guy.

Then you need to go to dietsmoke.com

and use promo code COMETOWN.

Right.

Because you know what my problem with edibles is?

Sometimes you get too high.

Yeah, it's true.

And I want a mellow, smooth type of buzz.

And it can be really difficult to control.

I hate to.

Yeah, something with less head rush and anxiety that can sometimes come with traditional THC.

Right.

You know?

Sometimes you get, it's being too high.

You feel like a mentally disabled guy who's broken free from his leash.

Right.

And

you're in the mall with your family, and the collar has snapped, and now you've made your way into the candy store.

Right.

And you can't figure out

how to do it.

Those little weird windows that you have to lift up.

Yeah.

So you just start punching.

What is this?

What do you feel like?

That's what you feel like.

That's too high.

Okay.

But Diet Smoke.

Diet Smoke,

you know how to eat it.

You're a chained-up retard with the appropriate amount of candy.

Yep.

Completely nude in the front yard.

Eating out of your bowl of Twizzlers.

Firmly attached to the porch.

They got a new chain because the last one broke in an escape attempt.

You sit there suffering, stoned out of your mind.

Right.

Thinking about every embarrassing moment of your life, wanting to kill yourself.

That's why when I need the perfect medium high, I hit up my friends at dietsmoke.com.

That's the most important part: the people that sell you these drugs are your friends.

They are good friends of ours.

Everyone that's ever sold me anything is my friend.

And for the delicious Delta 8 THC gumies.

Gumies.

Diet Smoke isn't light, it's just right.

Yeah, what if you're like me and you've never actually taken a THC product because it's illegal?

Good, good.

They recommend you start with half a gummy.

But if it's not your first rodeo, you should be fine starting off with a whole gummy.

And I'll say this.

They're really pushing the, it doesn't get you that high angle.

If you're trying to get high as fuck, take four or five.

Because let me tell you, even CBD.

I've done that a couple times.

It fucks my ass.

Even CBD gets me kind of high.

Right.

You know?

Yeah.

So this shit, I can't even imagine.

It's this weird straight

because I've done it and I do it all the time.

I can imagine it.

I have literally done it a lot.

Diet smoke almost exactly like it's a diet smoke is perfect if you're coming down from doing too much cocaine at 10 a.m.

You know what?

I'll say it is.

And you just need something to give you the mellow ability to go to Best Buy

and sit in the magnolia section

and watch Kung Fu Panda with the sound off off

and think, what am I going to do when I have to get a job again?

I literally, I have no,

I've been turned into a woman

where I just expect to be paid

for exposing the most disgusting aspects of myself.

How am I supposed to put on a name tag and say please and thank you to strangers?

There's no turning back, brother.

Yep.

So anyway, the way you do it is you do it at DietSmoke.com.

You go to DietSmoke.com.

And you try out there, too.

And if you just flavor it.

And if you order before 2 a.m.,

2 p.m.

orders, we'll ship that very second.

Blue raspberry.

And USPS.

Blue raspberry.

Mm-hmm.

And watermelon.

And watermelon.

I like blue raspberry, but insert secondary host name likes watermelon.

Adam.

I say try them both.

Nice try, Adam.

We already covered this.

I'm the secondary host, bitch.

Yeah, what about the tertiary?

You know what I always say?

I say try them both.

Try them both.

I do try them both, and I like them both.

I said, try them both.

I say, try them both.

You see, when CBD isn't enough, the traditional T.

You ever try to do an impression and you're like, let's just see if I accidentally land on somebody.

No.

Let me just do a voice.

Let me do a voice and see if it sounds like somebody.

What the fuck?

What the fuck is Siri talking about?

Wait, do you have a male Siri?

You're gay, dude.

Oh, that's gay to get a male Siri.

You came with the computer.

You're fucking gay.

You changed it to a guy.

No, Nick's chirping.

You want to talk to a fucking robot guy?

You're gay, dude.

Yeah, I changed Adam.

I changed Adam to silence.

My man got a male Siri.

When CBD isn't enough in traditional...

Siri, describe your penis to me.

It's delicious, Nick, and you love to suck it every day.

This is the most important part.

Each gummy is infused with 10 milligrams of Delta A THC derived from American-grown hair.

Siri, am I a good boy?

Yes, your daddy's a little good boy, and I'll let you suck my cock if you keep listening.

And you know what they say?

Buy American, get high with American.

Delta A gummies are low in sugar.

I'm back, folks.

Wow.

Oh, Adam, the Robin Hood of the board.

I brought us back.

Stop.

Thanks, man.

Yeah.

Adam Robin Hood would be like, it's, look, look, everyone, it's Robin Hood.

He steals from the poor and keeps a little bit for himself and gives to the rich.

Send the rest to Israel.

And then he goes and then he tells everyone that he's Robin Hood.

Right.

And then increasingly he takes more and more for himself.

And eventually he's just stealing from poor people and reminding everyone of the time he was Robin Hood.

That's true.

I always considered Bernie Madoff to be the Robin Hood of Wall Street.

He was.

Yeah.

Isn't it crazy that a Ponzi scheme isn't named after him?

Real quick, let's make sure that we just know that if you go to Godiansmoke.com and use the promo code COMETO,

you get 20% off your order.

That's 2-0 off.

That's nice.

DietSmoke.com promo code Cometown.

C-U-M-T-O-W-N.

That's 20% off, not your first order, right?

20% off.

All orders.

All orders.

In perpetuity.

Delta ATHC gummies are not for use or sale to people under the age of 21.

Please use responsibilities.

Right.

And I'm guessing they're really going to check that out.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Yeah,

when I was checking out on my Diet Smoke order.

They really asked me a lot.

The website was like,

I'm going to need to see some ID, young lady.

I can't believe you're over 21.

Yeah.

That's true.

Yeah, it was flirting.

Do you think you would suck the dietsmoke.com's website?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, for some.

somebody called adam's penis's diet poke that's i have heard that they call it that yeah it's it's lower on calories no it's smaller on calories it's way smaller on calories it's lower on calories and sperm count it's definitely lower on sperm count

big have you have you checked should we that would be a fun thing for the show to all check our sperm count i heard that the omicron variant lowers it for three months are you serious that's why i've been busting times

yeah

i feel like that does uh

that everything does that and they're just they're doing anything they can because there was that other article that was like some guy's dick shrunk three inches from covet covet that guy was lying the daily mail article there's no way that's real no that happened to me my dick was huge up until december 2020 your dick has never been big that's not true a lot of everyone has told me your dick is small who's everyone eric adams

no he never said that bill de Blasio.

Every mayor of the city of New York.

Your doctor?

Neetard.

Yeah, Neetard.

Bill Neetard.

Whatever that guy's name is.

No, his name is Bill Neetard.

Bill Neetard.

Yeah.

The wonderful thing about figures is a figure is a wonderful thing.

I don't know if your name can be that figure.

Shut up, Pooh.

Oh, bother.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

You know, oh, wow, they've got Eric Adams in the booth of the player.

I've gotten stuck in the tree again, trying to eat pussy.

That's me.

Eric Adams.

Eric Adams is doing the playability.

Everyone can see my little bear pussy

as it's stuck in the air.

You know, Winnie the Pooh is

public domain now.

Oh, is he?

Yeah.

So should we do a Winnie the Pooh?

Winnie the Pooh is public domain now?

Yeah.

Oh, damn.

I'm going to make some Winnie the Pooh shirts.

But you can't do the red.

It has to be like the old school Winnie the Pooh.

What do you mean you can't do the red?

Because I think the red shirt is Disney.

That's updated.

But there is like an old version of Winnie the Pooh that you can use.

I wonder what Eric got him.

I'm going to look this up.

It's going to look nothing like Winnie the Pooh.

It just looks like a little naked bear, dude.

Public domain Winnie the Pooh.

I think we should make a movie.

where I get to be Winnie the Pooh.

Oh, 100%.

Is the name Winnie the Pooh trademarked?

I don't fucking know.

No, it's this fucking one.

It doesn't look anything like Winnie the Pooh.

That's just a fucking teddy bear.

No, that's not.

It's not even yellow.

Luke McGarry began drawing a nude poo bear as soon as he heard the news.

That's how this article starts.

That's awesome.

The original nearly 100-year-old bear of very little brain from the 100-acre wood had rung in this new year by entering the public domain.

No, quite humbly, McGarry.

So I don't believe that I don't have time.

Anyway, anyway, I want to be.

I'm Winnie the Pooh.

I'm going to do a reboot, a horny reboot of Winnie the Pooh.

Where Christopher Robin is that.

You remember Jessica Robin from porn?

That redhead with huge tits?

Jessica Rabbit.

No, no, no.

Jessica Robin.

But she was a redhead.

There you go.

Here's an article from a website called Plagiarism Today.

Adam's joke writing website.

Adam's going to push notifications for me.

Plagiarism today.

you remember Jessica Robin?

She had huge tits.

She was a redhead.

It was really hard to find her, do hardcore.

I think she only did one porno.

It was a threesome.

Anyway, instead of Christopher Robin, she's in it, and Winnie the Pooh is me, and I fuck her at the woods or whatever it's called.

What's Winnie the Pooh's Woods called?

The Thousand Acre Wood.

Hundred Acre Wood?

At the Thousand Acre Wood.

That's where I was Pussy from Jessica Robinson.

Yeah.

I'll be Eeyore.

I'll be Piglet.

Eeyore Piglet.

Bangbros.

Yeah, Battle of the Red.

Mickey Mouse is also in public domain.

Mickey Mouse is public domain?

Yeah, but only the Steamboat Willie version.

Oh, that's a fine.

That's a good question.

You know what?

Sav, I'm seeing a lot of hardcore scenes.

No, okay.

Here's what happened.

Here's my question.

Some other woman took her name.

When does Aunt Jerima go into public domain?

There was an original Jessica Robin.

I don't know.

There's an original Jessica Robbin who

was hard to find, and then a different redhead stole her name, took advantage of

the

goodwill she had built up in the big titty community, and started doing hardcore.

She dyed her hair the same way.

Sort of looks like her, but it's not as hot.

I'll tell you right now, I'm going to look for it right now.

I did a lot of bidding off to this woman when I was in middle school.

Bidding off?

Bidding off?

I love bidding off.

That's what I do.

I love bit off.

My friend, he came over and we bit off together.

But my wife, she come home from the grocery store and they had their slap.

She must have become slapped.

Yeah, this is not her.

She's not as hot as the original Jessica.

You remember that video?

Why do she slap?

No.

Yeah, of course.

This is a classic.

How can she slap?

How can she slap?

How can she slap?

Let's give everyone at home a minute to look up the how can she slap.

Just play it.

Why don't you just play?

Yeah, this bitch stole.

I can't believe she did this.

There was a ray.

There's a.

I wonder what happens if you search Jessica Robbin original.

Hey, this is cool.

Check out this steamboat Willie Lego.

Look, it's off.

I didn't get to see it.

How can you slap?

How can you stop?

How can she stop?

How can she stop it?

That's all.

How can she slap Indian people?

I mean this original Jessica Robins.

This new one is pretty good too.

Who's Jessica Robbins?

What the fuck are you talking about?

Maybe it is Robbins that I used to jack off to.

No, it's Jessica Robbins?

And it's a Winnie the Pooh character.

No, I want to reboot Winnie the Pooh where I'm Winnie the Pooh.

Instead of Christopher Robin, it's Jessica Robin.

She sucks my dick.

Oh, okay.

That's pretty cool.

Yeah, that sounds like pretty good.

Thank you.

That's all I needed to hear from my friends.

You know what I was thinking about?

I almost went to draw it, but then I was too.

I couldn't be bothered to get a pen out.

Yeah.

But like,

it's like a family crying

at one of the wheel wells of a monster truck, and the son's like jumping up, trying to reach the door.

And the wife is like, Richard, stop!

No, don't.

And there's a husband just sitting in the cab of the monster truck, and there's a hose going from the tailpipe into the window.

He's just ignoring them.

That's pretty good.

I like that.

Be pretty badass.

Would be badass, dude.

I'm trying to find the original Jessica Robin.

I used to beat off too.

This woman stole her whole shit.

She swaggerjacked her whole vibe.

That shouldn't be allowed.

This really goes against kind of a social construct or contract between the porn performer and the audience.

Whatever new membership

is going to do membership, probably.

I didn't go once this year.

Well, I went once, I think, this year.

The thing is, is like, if you want to go to the Bronx 2, you got to make, and I still have said this before, but I really want to drive this point home.

Yeah, please do.

You got to set aside a whole weekend.

Weekend?

Yeah.

I must have not been listening if this was the first time.

No, it's like an amusement park, dude.

Like any amusement.

You know, it's not like you think like Disney World is the one you got to do like a week of, you know?

Yeah.

Because there's like two parks and there's all this shit to do.

But really, it's like even if you go to fucking Six Flags, like if you get there when they open, you have time to go to one roller coaster.

Right.

I'm not a big

theme park, I got to be honest.

Well, have you been as an adult?

No.

Then you you gotta try it.

You gotta take a bunch of edibles, some kratom,

a couple of blue chews.

Okay, get your dick hard for it.

Yeah.

You know, you gotta make sure you've got your baby powder all up in your shit so that you're not.

Oh, yeah, your nuts don't chafe.

Yeah, because there's a lot of walking, a lot of heat.

Oh, yeah.

And it's moist.

Yeah, and you're going to be wet.

You've got to cut the webbing out of your bathing suit and then duct tap.

That's true.

Cutting the webbing is huge.

Cutting the webbing and then duct taping your dick to one of your legs so people can't see it.

Yeah.

No, I want them to see my little ass dick.

Oh, you're a dick print guy?

Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to find the original Justin Cliff.

Oh, God.

I'm a concealed carry guy.

Yeah, me too.

I'm a Tucker.

That's what Tucker Carlson, actually, that's where he got his name from.

That's true.

And you can find out on Tucker Carlson.

And we'll see you this weekend if you go to patreon.com slash come town, where you can hear more about

Tucker Carlson.

You go to Scott.biz.

Buy tickets to all my shows.

Yep.

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