Ep. 293 – chunk madden

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I was sipping my latte when my friend gasped.

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Privacy starts at the source.

Clear is the one you got to pay for, though, right?

You got to pay for pre-check, too.

Yeah, but the clear one is like a private company.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's when I saw that in the airport.

That's when I was like, you know what?

This is just

like a cruel joke.

Oh, it's all bullshit.

Because they offer it at the airport.

They go in the days when there's a huge line.

They're like, do you want to pay $20 to skip the fucking

security?

And it's like.

That shouldn't exist.

Like, what do you think?

Al-Qaeda can't put together $20.

That's the premise of cleaning.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You just skip the line.

You still got to do security.

You got to go through the metal detector.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no.

If you have pre-check, you get to skip whichever line you're supposed to go to.

What do you mean?

If you're clear, but you don't have pre-check, you just skip the non-pro-check.

But also, they can take pre-check away from you.

Really?

Yeah, for sure.

What?

And they don't have to tell you.

They'll just take it away.

That would honestly.

I would kill myself.

Let's say you're standing in line at pre-check or whatever, and you say something like, there's not supposed to be a line at pre-check or whatever.

They soup Nazi in.

Yeah, they'll fucking go on the computer.

They go on the computer and they click something, and your name goes red.

Oh, my God.

Because that happened to me when I got into a fight with that lady in Chicago, and I started yelling at her, and then ripped her name tag off her shirt.

No, you didn't.

No, there was a lady who, like, I'm like, I was like, what's your fucking name?

You're going to tell me that it's weather.

And she's like, well, it's weather, so there's no refund.

It's like, you just canceled a fucking flight.

They said on the plane it's fucking mechanical.

Yeah.

And you're going to tell me, like, let the customer service agent on the phone lie about it.

But you want to do this now.

Yeah.

And then

she had her name tag flipped around.

And I'm like, what is your name?

You know, I flipped it.

You, I can touch your tits.

Yeah.

And then she went on and she was like, yeah, they put some fucking red thing on my name.

I'm like, what the fuck did you just do?

What did it say?

Juan Tonamo?

Yeah.

God damn, dude.

That's so fucking funny.

Fuck you.

You lead the league in fucking.

You're so bad at customer service.

Customer service fucking squabbles.

Here's the thing.

I have all the sympathy in the world for customer service people when the company fucks up.

Yeah.

But if you want to be a company man and try to act like when you got

goddamn.

And there is just something about your energy that's like, these people are like, yeah, I'm going in on this.

Then fuck you.

If you want to take the fall for yourself.

There's something about.

I know what he means.

I mean, it's like...

Then you can get it.

Of course.

But you know what I'm saying?

If I was just had to merge up, I'd never say that.

I've worked a lot of customer service jobs, and I was never that.

I was literally fucking.

Of course.

And who am I?

You think I haven't gotten into some fucking shouting matches

when it's just that kind of day?

But I feel like it happens to you 98% of the time.

I feel like.

Not 98, but a real percentage, 60%.

I think it happens more often than it doesn't.

And there's a mix of bad luck and just something.

The way black people hate Adam, customer service people hate you.

I don't know.

You know, I've been dealing with Verizon lately, and it hasn't been like that at all.

Everyone I've spoken to, they get it.

They know it's fucked up.

That's good.

The thing I'm in with them now, Verizon cut all the fucking phone lines in the city with the understanding that they'd roll Fios out.

I've waited years,

years, to not have to use fucking Optimum.

Yeah.

And they say that it's ready in the neighborhood.

So they report that to the city.

That like, oh, well, you know, per our agreement, this entire block is files ready.

But they can't install it.

They have to fucking, there's no access to any of this shit back here.

They're like, yeah, just talk to seven of your neighbors and coordinate a day where all of you can, you know, and it's like, they're not going to fucking do that.

Of course.

If somebody came to my door and they were like, hey, let's all put a group chat together.

Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, for the build.

So that one guy can get fucking.

Yeah.

So one guy can watch Tucker Carlson.

just telling my dad i'm trying to watch tucker carlson i i'm tired of catching him online yeah i need to i want to watch it live

and i was wondering if i could have your phone number something i'm the guy

i'm the guy that's been blasting joe rogan episodes

i'm trying to upgrade yeah to joe rogan 2.0 to bow tie

the guy with a bow tie who looks gay

tucker does Tucker get pussies?

He ever had, like, is he married?

I think he got a pussy.

I haven't gotten a pussy.

Ever.

No bow tie anyway.

How much pussy have I gotta?

No, I think he's stopped.

Zero.

None.

He really had a nice little comeback there after being on Dancing with the Stars.

After getting Jon Stewart yelling at him.

I know.

Crossfire.

About Dancing with the R's.

Oh, okay.

And they're like, who wants to dance with me?

That's good.

Would it be on ABC still?

Uh-huh.

That's awesome.

I would watch that.

A baby channel.

Shout out to fucking.

Who won it?

Who was the NBA player that just won it, Adam?

What was his name?

Michael Jordan.

No, no, no.

Kobe Bryant.

No, no.

He was on the Cavs.

He came down from heaven.

He was on the Knicks, yeah.

His wife.

J.R.

Smith.

His wife is really hot.

She's a singer.

Oh, Imon Shumper.

Imon Shumper just went dancing with us.

Imon?

Yeah.

Oh, well, I can't believe that a professional athlete that's really good at moving his body

would be able to beat.

But I think football players have gone on before.

Yeah, don't you dare besmirch Ricky Lake.

Is she good at dancing?

I guess she was in a dance.

Don't you fucking dare besmirch Ricky Lake.

You fucking piece of shit.

Who else do they get on that?

You should go on that.

I would love to.

I would love to see you in like a conga, like with a bunch of fruit on your head.

My goal is to be like the fat neighbor on like a sitcom no one ever sees.

Yeah.

but that qualifies me

to be a star.

And that way I get on there and I fuck

one of those little dancer.

I was the fat neighbor.

I get to skip the line at the airport.

And I get to wear this fruit basket on my head.

I would love to start taking dance lessons.

I feel like there is a fluidity to my body, but

I lack a natural dance.

You can meet a woman.

My little brother's good at dancing.

One of my brothers, the trainer, obviously, he's got a fucking very fluid.

He's fleet of foot.

But I think I got a little of that in me, but I need a little instruction.

You can meet a woman at salsa.

That's how

my cousin salsa dances.

I would show up on the dance floor and then just slowly start spinning and then increasingly pick up speed.

Okay.

And then gravitational force.

Yeah, just sort of how gravity works.

And then just sort of twirl around the whole room.

And you have a layer like a tornado, like a jazz situation.

Exactly, yeah, just kind of clearing out the room like a tornado.

Okay.

And that's how I would win dancing with the stars.

No, it's.

I'd also bring a gun.

It's not a combative.

It's not like a fight type thing.

I'm thinking of Battle Bots.

Yeah, I think.

You're thinking of

the fuck were those things called?

Where you would do the fucking, you'd rip it.

Huh?

Or play the

top.

You had Beyblades.

You ever fuck with Beyblades, Adam?

No.

I've never even seen them in person.

Oh, I had Beyblades.

Really?

Yeah.

Damn, that's weird because I only knew them as like an autistic thing that people online liked.

No, they were pretty fun.

I mean, they didn't last long.

Me and my brothers gave them a shot.

They didn't maintain.

They didn't stick in the rotation.

We started this podcast.

But they had a cup of coffee.

Early on when I was putting commercials in, I think I put in a.

Remember, we used to take a break after 30 minutes?

Yes.

We should bring that back by the way.

Yeah, that'd be good.

As many breaks as possible.

Maybe a break right now.

Well,

we are going to sell something at some point.

Let me wait till ibuprofen kicks in.

We basically have started just kind of taking breaks.

We basically do a 50-minute podcast, then we do commercials.

And from there, it's kind of like we wait till the episode's over.

Yeah.

And then when we stop recording, then we really have fun.

Oh, yeah.

This is the last year of the show, by the way.

Yeah.

And maybe not.

Here is kind of pushing it, I think.

It has to end.

For sure.

It has to end.

For us to be free, it has to end.

There's no, I don't care.

If for whatever reason the Patreon is at $800 million a month at the end of the year, even in that circumstance.

Well, here's what we do.

We keep the Patreon going.

Yeah.

And then we just, it's up to you motherfuckers to cancel it.

And we just keep cashing checks.

Yeah.

Well, for me, it's, I got the coronavirus a couple weeks ago, and I have a new lease on life.

Right.

So I'm so excited to be sitting in this chair because

I thought that I wasn't going to be here.

I got the De Niro virus.

The De Niro virus.

What's that?

Hey,

I don't feel too good.

I can't smell.

I have no sense of taste.

I don't feel too good.

I'm not doing too good over here.

I'm coughing.

I'm telling you, I don't feel too good.

Okay.

How does it feel to be a survivor at that?

It doesn't feel too good.

It feels good.

It feels good.

I feel connected to all other types of survivors.

Yeah.

Breast cancer, Holocaust.

We're all equal.

Sexual assault.

Sexual assault.

We're all equal.

Dude, I love this thing.

Omicron is just as bad.

Like far-right-wing.

They say it's the rape.

Far-right-wing people.

Your lungs were raped.

They say that I was.

I didn't even really feel anything.

Far-right-wing people have gone from denying the Holocaust as a way to annoy Jews to now claiming that having to show their paperwork is the Holocaust.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then people are like, excuse me, but I was in the Holocaust, and this is not the same.

It's like, can you just die?

We thought all you guys were dead.

You're making me agree with these people.

Because having to hear from you is kind of worse than the Holocaust.

For me,

for you.

I would rather be put in a work camp than having to listen to you complain about something that happened 100 years ago.

So true.

You know what I'm saying?

I took a sip of my tea.

Nick was saying that hearing Holocaust survivors complain about

complain about

the cynical use of the Holocaust is, to him, as bad as being in the Holocaust.

Just to catch you up.

Because it's happening now.

Right.

You know, it's not a distant memory.

It's not something that happened so long ago.

Literally so long ago.

They didn't even have fucking telephones back then.

They did, dude.

They did.

No.

Yeah, dude.

The 40s.

Yeah.

It is fucked up to watch a movie.

I watch a movie from like the 30s.

I'm like, damn, these motherfuckers didn't even know about Hitler at all.

Shit's crazy.

I mean, they did.

Shut up.

Not really.

Not in the early 30s.

He was some fucking bitch that got his fucking shit fucked up with fucking gas.

Yeah, he's making blimps and doing marches.

Hitler wasn't fucking shit in like the, you know.

No, I think he came up late 20s.

Really?

I think so.

Yeah.

You know, the real

fucked off late 20s.

The real, the real, like, I said it.

The real tragedy

of history of education is that they, like,

you know, they're like, oh, well, like, you know,

why didn't people stop Hitler's rise to power?

And it's like, there should be more emphasis placed on how gay Germany was

prior to that.

Because there had to have been a lot of people like, I don't know, this Hitler guy sucks, but these other fuckers are just fucking annoying.

Whoever was the boss.

The Kaiser.

Yeah, the Weimar Republic.

Wait, was the Kaiser still on deck?

No.

Yeah, Kaiser.

So is that.

No, they had an interim period in between the war.

So after the war, they got their shit fucked up so bad the Kaiser had to go.

Yeah, he's gone, and then they had like...

Where does he go?

They had like 14 years of like basically like Justin Trudeau or something.

Some guy doing blackface.

Yeah.

Some guy dressing up like a genie.

And he was like,

hear me now.

And destroying the economy.

The government was all wish-based.

I wish for food.

Yeah.

But the thing is, the Jews were first in line.

They wished for all the good stuff.

Yeah.

And the genie, Justin Trudeau, Chancellor, had to give it to them.

That starts anti-Semitic.

But he respected the line.

Because he was like, look, it's wish-based.

It doesn't matter if they cut, you respect the

line.

There's a lot of shit, like, you know, like, crystal knocked happens.

And if that happened now,

like, for the most part, you just have people saying, like,

property, people are more important than property or whatever, sarcastically in response to it.

And it's like, yeah, I guess I don't really care about this.

What do you mean?

If they

specifically synagogues is getting sad.

Just burned or destroyed.

Jewish business.

If it was just Jewish,

I think people would be a little bit.

I would be like, yeah, that's probably.

Pretty much all the businesses.

That's true.

That is true.

That's what they learned from Christopher.

And you know what?

Who is the Jew of now if not big business?

Corporations are being

assailed.

I think it's Kyle

House is the Jew of now.

I think he is.

I think they decided that

he's a murderer.

They got away with it.

He's always wet.

He kind of looks like he's kind of having an allergic reaction or something.

Right.

You know?

He looks F to M.

He does look F10.

F10M, yeah.

He looks like his voice should be like one of those little helium voices.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've been on T for a couple months now.

He really does look like he's on T.

Yeah, he was doing all the podcasts.

Yeah, saying he likes big bitches and stuff.

Does he?

Yeah, he's like the day he says he likes exonerated.

Yeah, he's like talking about a sneaker collection on fucking Steven Crowder and stuff.

Yeah.

Jesus.

Oh, I like him big.

Yeah.

That's fucking hilarious.

You think we could get him to suck our cocks?

Ridden house?

If we invite him to the podcast?

Like, this is for justice.

I think he's a child.

How old?

I think he's 17 years old.

Nah.

I think you're talking about having sex with a child.

I was talking about trying to get street justice,

making him suck.

I don't want to get too controversial on here, so let's go back to the crystal knock Knox thing.

That thing was a big L for everyone.

What, Crystal Knox?

No, the Colorado House.

Why?

Well, because he killed like an insane pedophile.

It was crazy that he was a pedophile.

Everyone said that it was...

Yeah, the pedophile.

Everyone thought it was three black guys.

The pedophile that's like using the N-word, but then

Republicans are like, yeah, he's using the N-word because he's racist, which is like, you know, he's not racist.

But it's also, you know, that, like,

no, you're not supposed to do that.

You're not supposed to fucking call people the N-word at the Black Lives Matter

protest.

It really is.

One of the strangest situations of all time.

Yeah.

The second guy.

But he's like, but it's just.

The second guy was sad because he just likes skating.

Yeah.

Apparently.

Yeah.

I mean, of course, Kyle Redhouse is a fucking loser for

having a gun to try and go fucking pretend he's a fucking cop.

It's just, yeah, the whole thing.

But the pedophile angle is really, really funny.

Yeah, an insane pedophile being the first one to cast.

Especially considering that it's not like it's, you know, I, because initially, I mean, I said it too, but I go people like, oh, this guy's a pedophile.

It's like, okay, so what, 30 years ago when he was 19, he dated a 15-year-old girl, that kind of situation.

They're like, no, he anally raped

like seven, eight-year-old black kids.

He was on his fucking

shoes on his Penn State shit.

He was a youth football coach that raped all the kids.

I think he was also like 5'2, also.

There's another weird.

So he was prosecuted.

Another weird detail about the insane Pennsylvania.

He was a persecuted minority as well.

Yeah, he was a.

And it's like, how does that guy end up

at a black hospital?

Because he couldn't get his meds.

It's a really crazy story.

He got let out of a mentalist.

He got let out of a mentalist.

Because he kept fucking?

No.

Because he kept beating off?

no, because he was crazy, and then he couldn't get his meds.

He was too crazy to get out of the middle of the menu.

He freaked out, and then he couldn't get his meds, and they freaked out.

Then he went nuts, and then

one fucked over a two-year-old.

And then Kyle killed him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Pretty crazy story, honestly.

That is nuts.

When you get that nine-year-old beaver in front of your face.

Oh, yeah.

Doesn't he talk about a 14-year-old or whatever?

When you get that 15-year-old beaver in your face,

you can't tell the difference.

That movie opens with you.

That character is a pedophile.

Yeah.

I remember seeing that and being like, damn.

He goes hard.

He goes real hard.

Also, beaver is just

hilarious.

This is the written house nest.

Yeah.

Beaver is just such a wild word for pussy.

We got to bring it back.

I don't know, man.

I don't really want to fuck Beaver.

Did you ever see the IMAX Beavers documentary?

No.

They're real good.

That was the first IMAX I ever saw.

What's it about?

They make dams and stuff?

Yeah, they make dams.

They're really.

They're pretty cool.

They're very, yeah, they're interesting creatures because it's like, you know, it's like some gay ass fucking rat.

Right.

But then it's got this thing.

It's swimming.

It's got a big ass tail that's got this thing that requires like a certain, like a lot of

engineers.

Yeah.

Like, imagine if like fucking like

you know, like flamingos just did their shit.

They ate shrimp or whatever, but then they also could write python yeah yeah yeah and they built little helicopters

there's a flamingo flying around in a little helicopter right exactly you're like well hold on a second yeah

they understand retaining walls and shit yeah it's pretty cool

and what is a beaver we all call them uh call their species we make it synonymous with pussy well does a beaver's pussy look like a woman's pussy it's the closest one that could be something What does a beaver's dick look like?

Also, like a woman's pussy.

Like the flat tail.

Like the flat tail, that'd be awesome.

Yeah, they just have two.

And they, yeah, and then they just, it goes like on the

woman's cunt.

It's like, half half.

Oh, it slaps.

I do it.

A bitch.

That's awesome.

Makes pizza.

Oh, hell.

I'm almost sure there's a beaver penis.

I'm sure it's not.

Do you guys ever watch Three Angry Beavers or whatever?

Leave it to Penis.

Who the fuck is my fucking penis?

Whoa, they have a weird little cock.

Yeah, the angry beavers.

What's that?

The woman's march?

Dude,

I believe their cocks are like little fucking.

Oh, they have bones in their cocks.

Ew.

They have a little conical bony cock.

Ew.

What the fuck is this?

Are you serious?

What the fuck?

All I can see is the bone, though.

They're not showing me actual,

you know, an actual penis.

Yeah, sorry.

It's not really showing me a beaver's penis.

Let me look up beaver pussy.

But see, that's just going to show me pussy if I do that.

Yeah, just a bunch of woman's pussies.

Let me search beaver animal pussy.

Or beaver pussy animal.

Animal pussy.

Yeah, there's no way to see a beaver's vagina on the internet.

All right.

Guys, you want to hear something I did during during my winter break?

I'm almost.

Can I finish what I'm doing?

I'm trying to find a beaver's pussy.

Just for the show.

It would be really funny.

One second, dude.

It'd be really funny if I go look at my computer real quick to check the.

That would be really funny.

Yeah.

It's impossible to see what a beaver's pussy looks like because every time you, any way you search,

just women's pussies show up.

You can't say beaver animal vagina.

I'm doing that and nothing's coming up.

What searches have you tried?

Beaver pussy beaver pussy animal yeah beaver animal pussy beaver animal vagina

nothing dude yeah

this is so fucked up

anyway what did you do over fucking spring break uh i read a book okay

called chaos

And by red, I did not finish it.

What a fucking list.

And by red, I also mean I listened to the audiobook.

Adam read the car.

Adam listened to the chaos, the audiobook.

Yeah, not too chill.

Not too chill.

Chuck Manson was up to some.

He was on his Epstein shit, actually.

He was on his Epstein shit.

Free Galane.

And also at DietSmoke.com is what we really want to be talking about.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, me as

Diet Smoke.

Now, there's a book Adam's actually read.

DietSmoke.com offers this

better ingredients.

Really good shit.

Better ingredients.

Better pizza.

Better pizza, dietsmoke.com.com.

Note for us, feel free to riff the introduction.

I love it because I love smoke, but I'm not trying to gain weight.

Yeah, diets smoke.

You know how sigs are.

You know what it is very funny.

So, what this shit is, is it's edibles.

So it's like literally the opposite of diets.

There's no smoke at all.

Well, it's also, it's not diets.

There's fucking calories in it.

Yeah, there's calories.

This will make it.

Smoking is zero calories.

Yeah.

Damn,

smoking's better for you.

I love the drug companies.

I know.

They're the only

part of this business that's less professional than this.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

They're operating a little grazing right now.

Anyway,

Diet Smoke is perfectly balanced.

You can enjoy the smooth buzz of Diet Smoke.

It's me, Robert DeFeffio.

Defeffio?

Robert DeFuck, my

fuck me and my pussy.

You know what my problem?

You know what my problem with edibles is?

Sometimes you get so high, it can be really difficult to control to dose it right, and your penis falls out of your pants

when you're meeting the fucking son-in-law.

You ever seen that, Greg?

You ever seen one of these?

I have a penis, Greg.

Can you milk me?

You ever seen a penis fall out of your pen?

I have a prostate, Greg.

You ever seen the movie Ronin, Greg?

I was in that movie.

I was in the Ronin.

Ronan taxi driving.

Greg.

There's nothing worse than being baked out of your mind when you didn't plan on it.

I don't know.

How about being fucking raped?

How about being

your cock chopped off?

How about being cut off in traffic by an angry, large African-American man and then being raped by him in the middle of an intersection?

That would be so much worse.

That would be worse.

In fact, I routinely get too high, and it's kind of fun.

Yeah, it's all right.

But, you know, it's bad also.

And, you know, once you eat it, there's no going back.

You just sit there suffering, stoned out of your mind.

That's why I need the perfect medium high.

I hit up my friends at Diet Smoke for the delicious Delta ATHC gummies.

Diet Smoke isn't light, it's just right.

Yeah.

Unlike being raped in the middle of an intersection.

Diet Smoke is better than being raped in the intersection.

That we can definitely say for sure.

Now,

let's take a moseon down this Word document to the section titled The Product Benefits.

So what exactly is Delta 8?

That you're right, that is a benefit.

It's clarifying what the product is.

I'm curious, what is it?

Because I've been eating a lot of these and getting pretty I'll say getting pretty fucked up.

I thought it was a type of Oldsmobile, to be honest with you.

I thought it was a big old Oldsmobile for

pedophiles or uncles.

But it's simply a slightly less potent THC.

The THC that you're probably most familiar with is Delta 9.

And while both are natural to the cannabis plant, Diet Smoke extracts their Delta 8 from hemp.

Some may call this a loophole, like lawyers for the federal government.

Like the Attorney General.

Like anyone with a fucking brain.

Yeah.

I call it the secret recipe to getting a smooth stable.

And most importantly, legal high.

It is legal.

Kind of like using advanced computer software to create an extremely realistic picture of an eight-year-old's vagina.

And then masturbate it to

the perfect

victimless crime.

Some may call that a loophole.

I think I would just call that illegal.

Is it?

I think it probably is.

I don't know.

It is a good.

I think if you run simulations.

The autistic part of my mind can help but argue that it shouldn't be illegal.

Yeah.

And that's where you have to.

Autism has to take.

The robots have to.

They don't run the world for me.

For me, someone that isn't autistic, I really can block off the it's the principal 100% aspect of my brand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've learned that a lot recently is that there's literally no value in having principal

none whatsoever.

It's all about vibes.

That's kind of my

monster.

They really just sort of get you in trouble.

Yeah.

And you should really just sort of look out for yourself and have no loyalty to anybody.

Well, I mean, you can have loyalty, but.

Yeah, sure.

But it's got to be someone you know.

Sure, absolutely.

Not an idea.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, loyalty to another person.

Somebody you're good friends with.

But ideas, no.

And

Nick is referring to, of course, being arrested for his synthetic child pussies, child pussy drawings.

That's why I always learned this lesson.

I'm not that good of an artist.

But, you know, you go back 500 years ago, they would have arrested fucking

Michael Leonardo for

his turtle pussy.

Donatello for fucking drawing a turtle pussy.

Yeah, and now he's considered Diet Smoke is legal in most states.

It's not a prescription.

Just check Diet Smoke's website.

That's an awesome product.

And they ship their delicious gummies to your state.

Most places, this is fine.

And you're probably asking yourself.

26 or more.

Does Diet Smoke really get you high?

Of course.

It does.

The high you get with Diet Smoke is best described as somewhere between the chillness of CBD and the classic stoned feeling you get with regular.

I'll go ahead and say as a frequent user,

it gets you high as fuck.

I don't know what this chill is.

It's weed.

I've never tried it.

It's weed that they haven't figured out that for some reason you're allowed to sell.

Plus, Diet Smoke comes in two delicious flavors, blue raspberry and watermelon.

I like blue raspberry, but insert secondary host's name likes watermelon.

So

hey, Adam.

I'm the third.

Tertiary?

I'm the tertiary.

I say try them both.

Buy both of them.

Buy all of the products at dietsmoke.com.

Buy everything.

Nice.

Well, you still can, because this probably will be illegal in months.

Actually, who knows, man?

Biden's sleeping at the fucking wheel.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He's passed the hell out.

I'm looking at this damn website right now.

A lot of people are telling me to make this stuff illegal.

I'm liking the groovy aesthetic they have.

I'll see you later.

I'm going back to Delaware.

I'm going to Robot Beach or Suck Cock.

I like it.

I'm going to Robot Beach to show my asshole

to a nurse shark.

I'm going to Suck Cock or Robot Beach.

Okay, so if you're in the states, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Delaware, Idaho, Iowa, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, or those damn Mormons over in Utah,

you can't get that.

That's fucking a lot of shit.

California.

California.

Whoever the fuck is buying Delta 8 in California?

You're just buying weed.

Yeah, regular weed.

That is funny that it's illegal in California, but that's how much it's like, you know, immediately there's fucking just rich people have control of the weed.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, the lesser version of this should still be illegal.

It's illegal.

You got to buy my shit.

You have to buy the crack version.

Is it lab technology?

You could buy fucking dads.

Honestly, fuck California.

Half the reason I argue against climate change and pro-fossils.

You want them to flood?

Is because I would love it if,

yeah, all the meteors, floods.

If the California.

what happened to the big one weren't they gonna get that here's a good one over in california delta 8 show up on a drug test yes

when cbd

isn't enough

traditional team is too much

enjoy the smooth buzz of diet smoke that's sick officially sponsored by buzz lightyear of toy stores officially disney butler Lightyear.

I'm a fag and I smoke.

I smoke diet smoke.

I eat diet.

To infinity and fuck me.

And I'm gay.

And I'm gay.

Oh, they got a blog on the diet spoke.

Each gummy is infused with 10 milligrams of Delta A THC derived from American grown hemp.

And you know what they say?

Buy American, get high with American.

Ooh, we got a little black rifle coffee company kind of vibe.

Yep.

I'm going to start the white rifle

coffee company.

Yeah.

And it's black guys, too?

No, it's white, whites-only coffee company.

Okay.

Veterans.

Isn't that kind of black rifle?

It would be fun to just start a coffee company called the Nazi Whites Only Hitler Rules Coffee Company.

And black rifles, like, hey, stop.

And they can't really say why.

Yeah, right.

The swastika kill all Jews coffee.

Hey,

chill out.

Come on, man.

That's a touch beyond.

When CBD.

You have inched over the line.

You know what they say?

Buy American, get high with American.

Delta gummies are low in sugar, fat-free, and delicious.

Nice.

I love that.

Oh, and did I mention their illegal?

Nice.

Did I mention their legal question mark, question mark?

Because they are.

The question is, did I mention?

But this is some Lionel Hutt shit.

It's like, oh, and did I mention, comma, they're legal.

They're illegal?

Yeah.

No, they're legal.

Legal with the question mark stands alone.

So

the declaration is they're legal.

But the implicate, whatever.

You know what I'm saying?

I get what you're saying, Pappy.

Go to dietsmoke.com and use the promo code ComeTown for 20% off your order.

That's 2-0 off.

DietSmoke.com, promo code COMETOWN for 20% off.

Diet Smoke's Delta 8 THC gummies are

not for use or sale to people under age of 21.

Wow.

Please use responsibly.

Yeah, please do.

Well, I'm looking at their Instagram now.

Oh, yeah.

It looks like they have a lot of

real followers?

A lot of kind of hip-hop style

black people?

No,

like uh no, there's a white DJ guy here, DJ Scheme.

He looks that's a cool name.

He looks to be like and this guy Fat Nick, he also appears to be a white guy.

But he has facial tattoos.

I don't know.

They got a smoke shop.

Yeah, they got a lot of cool celebrity.

I guess we're joining the family of celebrities.

We're not.

They haven't paid us.

for anything other than right now.

Yeah.

So, you know.

I don't see their Instagram.

Oh, I'm on Real Diet Smoke.

Oh, Real Diet Smoke.

God forbid you think it's the fake one.

Yeah.

Let's see this.

Real Diet Smoke.

Okay.

Yeah.

I don't see what you're saying.

I don't see any.

I don't see Fat Nick Auntie a DJ.

Unreal Diet Smoke?

Yeah, they only have 10 posts.

Yeah, they have 10 posts.

Whatever.

These guys look very cool.

I'm on Instagram and now I'm on my TikTok.

They have 18,000 followers.

On my Explore page, it's just a bunch of bitches with their titties out, which is what I like.

And somehow K-pop has gotten onto My Explore page.

And they're following only 30 people, which is...

None of us.

Ooh, and here's Brianna with her titties out.

Respect.

I love Instagram.

Although, it seems like they really want you to start making fucking TikToks now.

Are you on TikTok?

No, I'm not, but it seems like they want you to do videos all the time.

I was on there for a day, and they took the audio.

They don't even ban you.

They just strip the audio out of your...

Oh, really?

All my videos, yeah.

So now you have to be a mime?

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I have no idea what I'm going to do when this ends.

What are you talking about?

I'm going to have to fucking work at the mall again.

No, you're not.

You'll be rich.

You'll be sucking dick.

You'll be rich.

Sorry, I was some bitch, again, with her tits out, so I'm just kind of looking at my Instagram now.

Yeah.

I'm aware I...

So for some reason, so basically Instagram has just stolen TikTok the way they did Snapchat, and they just have it as part of Instagram.

So a bunch of TikToks are popping up and a bunch of...

Weren't you into K-pop for like a month?

I started doing that as a joke, and then it didn't go anywhere.

Oh, okay.

Because I'm ready to talk about Blackpink now.

That was me desperately looking for some other kind of

weird angle or new thing or something.

Yeah, a new thing to make life feel.

No, not make life feel, but like a weird prod.

Because I would say I'm really into K-pop and then could navigate that world and then figure out a way to sort of ruin it somehow.

From the inside.

Well, I just wanted to say I would fuck the members of Blackpink.

Yeah, I watched the documentary.

They have a documentary?

Yeah.

There's a tie girl.

Yeah, I'd like to get a girl.

Lisa.

I'd love to get sucked off the corner.

I'd like to make sure they're pink, black, and blue by holding them down on.

No, not holding them down.

You just fuck them.

You just put a sock in their mouth and then...

But they're into that sort of thing.

They like that kind of thing.

Oh, they like the thing.

I'm saying in this fantasy, you're not talking about raping anyone.

Yeah, you just brutalize.

No, I wouldn't say brutalize.

Ah, fuck.

Sorry, I just fucked Nick.

And Nick just went in his ass.

Ah.

Sorry, I'll take it out right now.

There it is.

Okay.

You think Lisa would fuck me, Adam?

You saw the documentary.

I don't know that much about it.

Based on her vibe.

Lisa Chinkson.

From the Chinxons?

No, Lilisa.

Lisa from Blackpink.

Based on her vibe, do you think she's into fat guys?

I don't think that's a good thing.

It doesn't seem like they have boyfriends.

Right.

So I have to go in.

I have to steal her from them.

I think you have to do kind of like what Borat did with Pamela Anderson.

Put her in a big...

Throw a bag over her.

I would do that for her.

And take her.

For her to feel freedom.

This one looks weird.

She looks...

What is she?

That's Lisa?

No, that's not...

Is it?

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

I'd fuck her.

She looks good.

They're pretty skinny, I will say.

That could be an issue.

This girl looks fucking disgusting.

Yeah, you might break them.

That's gross.

They all look good.

Look, I've seen four TikToks of her, and she looked hot.

What do you want from me?

No, we're going to pull up Momo from Twice real quick.

Twice.

No, Momo can get it.

Momo's hot.

Momo definitely could get it.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

How many of you speak Japanese and would like to...

Oh, wait, Momo's Japanese.

We're talking about K-pop, dude.

Yeah, but this is K-pop.

Oh, she's a Japanese K-pop star.

If any of you speak Japanese and would like to harass Momo on my behalf,

sending her, possibly breaking the law,

if you will.

International laws.

And

the nice part about this is if I was married to this lady, I could accidentally fuck all of her co-workers, and it would be an earnest claim.

It'd be like, my bad.

I thought it was you.

I swear to God, I thought I was fucking you.

I will say one thing.

Oh, there's also one of, there's one lady

who

has big tits that pops up.

I almost got a pair.

They're all right.

Nah, I'm telling you.

In this world.

Who's got big tits?

There's one of them.

I think her name is Jesse or some shit.

Ghelane Max.

I think she's a little older, but she's got big-ass titties and big lips, and I would absolutely fuck her as well.

But other than her, I haven't really seen a lot of K-pop stars with big titties, which is some I think that's a market inefficiency.

And if I were to get involved, I also just watched Moneyball.

So if I were to get involved in K-pop, I would say they need big.

My group would have all huge tits.

And I think that would really do something.

Well, when you watch the documentary, you see that they have basically like these

in the shadows corporate interests behind them

putting them together.

Bill Gates is behind all the K-pop.

They have different combinations of girls until they get the right combination.

Of course.

So basically, we need to start our own idols.

Do you think any of them fuck each other?

Any of the idols?

That would be cool.

I think some of them have.

That's awesome.

But I mean, girls.

I don't want guys to fucking have a girl.

Some of the guys have.

No.

Now you're ruining.

Oh, some of them.

That'd be cool.

I don't want guys to fuck them.

I'm saying they all go to the idols.

I fuck them.

Yeah.

I don't want other guys fucking them.

I guess they could.

Let me take that that back to learn some skills.

Listen, those guys look like girls anyway.

That's true.

It's pretty close to two girls.

That is true.

Actually, they look like pretty girls.

I could probably jack off to a guy in a K-pop group and a girl kissing because it would look from the right angles like girls kissing.

Well, you know what I mean.

I wouldn't want to see his dick.

Yeah.

But if you give him tits

slender and you give him tits, all right.

Anyway, that's that's my I'm just saying.

K-pop stars with bigger titties.

A lot of those guys in my in my book, Brother, that's a gal.

So you would fuck those guys.

Oh, yeah.

They're pretty cute guys, yeah.

And they can dance.

Oh, my God.

I don't really care if they can dance personally.

It'd be funny to, like, just use the money to get in, like, a little apartment in Korea and just fill it with, like, girls' toys.

And I just sit in there masturbating the K-pop.

Leave the house to get ramen.

I'm just bowing at fucking people,

just wearing those wooden shoes.

Hell yeah, gain 300.

Yeah, you're just eating those corn dogs with French fries, like glued all the ponytail.

My hair's falling out.

I'm like, oh, oh,

all I gotta do is order ramen and masturbate the fucking K-pump.

Dude, why do those

showing up at events trying to get fucking things signed by

these women?

And I'm like, like, have you heard the coup of Comatone?

Just being escorted out.

I would like to go to Korea.

I've only been.

You went to Korea?

Yeah, but I only went with that USO show.

I didn't really get time to hang out.

Yeah, you were on a business.

I was on a business trip.

You were being a business.

And

I didn't get to go to Seoul.

I was just in some fucking shitty.

It'll never happen because this show's ending and there'll never be another tour again.

But if for whatever reason we never went back to Australia, if we we could do a soul trip rather than a Tokyo trip,

I don't know if I can.

I'm just rewriting the past.

Right, right, right.

I don't know if I can relive my Asian trip to Australia experience.

We're never going to

do a live show again.

Probably not.

Unless someone...

Here's the thing.

We start saying that, and then maybe somebody offers us like $100,000 to do it.

It's got to be at least fucking the quarter million

at thecrypto.com.

The reason Australia probably won't have it is because we just won't make enough money because it's too expensive to go there.

Yeah.

But if someone in Philadelphia wants to pay us like thirty thousand dollars each, we'll do a live show at the damn liberty bell.

I'll ring that shit.

I'll break it again.

Yeah, dude, I want to go to fucking, I want to go to fucking Korea and Japan.

But I don't know.

Oopsie, Daisy, let me tell you about the fucking

Blue Chews icon.

Is it Blue Chew?

Oh, nice.

Let's just confirm that.

Let's just confirm that before we go on.

You want me to confirm?

Oh, I don't know how to.

Oh, are you confirming?

I was just looking at Instagram stuff.

I was looking at more Korean.

Why don't you talk about it for a second?

I'll go look at my computer and make sure that you're doing it.

I'm almost 100% sure.

Okay, that's fine.

Yes, BlueChew.com, folks, tis the season.

I don't know about you, but the holidays, I packed on a couple LBs.

I wasn't doing my normal routine.

I wasn't out.

I wasn't exercising like I was.

I was eating like shit.

And that can take a real toll on my side.

Normally, Saga is 135 pounds.

I'm usually a zveldt.

I'm a bantam weight when I box.

But

I did gain

over 200 pounds over the holiday season.

And I don't know about you folks, but those extra

holiday croissants,

those extra cookies,

that can do damage to your penis.

It can make your erection soft.

It can make it not as long-lasting.

And there's nothing worse than inviting a gal over in December.

The chill is in the air.

She wants nothing more than to suck your little prick.

And guess what?

You're too fat.

You're too fat and too soft.

And unhealthy.

Yeah, and too good.

We don't have to say fat.

I've been doubling up and taking two of the pills.

So I get the maximum dosage.

I get to take two of them to offset the cocaine.

Right.

What's the other aspect of it?

Holiday eating, holiday cocaine use.

I've realized I don't actually

need dick pills.

My dick will work, but only because my body understands.

For a long time, it didn't, but it was because it thought my body was like, there's something wrong.

Maybe we shouldn't be getting hard right now.

But now my body.

It's a fight or flight response.

Now my body knows, okay, we're going to die.

Right.

So we need to get the dick hard to try and start over with a new person

that might not have.

Your dick is on its best behavior right now.

Right.

It's like we need to get it.

And the thing is the news is.

That's why I've been knocking up women left and right.

Right.

As well.

I piss myself.

Well, the good news is that will stop.

That will end eventually.

And you will need pills to get your dick hard again.

Everyone will.

And when you do that, and I'm sorry, you will need chewable tablets to get your dick hard again.

And when you need a chewable tablet, not a pill, because pills, that's what's that's medicine.

When you need a fun, chewable tablet that tastes good and can work quicker than some alternative to it.

The goal is to take the blue chew right before you die.

Before you die, I think you.

That way, the coroner is like, you know, they take your clothes off to make their little

recording or whatever.

Of course, like in Manhunter.

Yeah, and then they're like, fucking damn.

Why'd this guy kill himself?

Hard cock.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was a good guy's got a nice one.

Yeah, and then they read the psychological file and they're like, okay.

All right.

Close it over sexual podcasting.

Yeah.

Subject

was a fad.

Yeah, he's working.

That guy, that particular corner is working off a very dated DSM.

Yeah.

Where that's one of the worst mental illnesses there is.

It's worse than schizophrenia.

But the good news is, folks, if you want some tubal tablets that have the same active ingredients as

tadalophil and sedenlophil, which is

Viagra and Sialo.

Which is sedanophil to Dadalophil.

For a fraction of the price.

For a fraction of the price.

I found a subreddit called K-pop Fap.

Okay.

Where it's just

dedicated to

masturbating the K-pop.

It's this bitch holding flowers.

Yeah, you don't even see their tits.

What the hell is this?

She's pretty cute.

Who's that?

Yeah, that's Geo.

Nice.

The total package.

Everyone else is racing for second.

What machine?

From Vinoculus.

Vinoculus.

From Vinoculus.

No, that's the guy's name.

I read it.

The third pick exemplifies a perfect date setting with the sun in the background.

Oh, no.

All right, let's finish this guy next to me.

Let's go back to Geo.

I've

stay in there.

Why are you just standing there saying to yourself, taking a picture of the view and thinking, I wish this would never end?

Oh, no, dude.

Okay, well, if you need for your dick what that man needs for his whole entire swine,

ship to your door, cancel any time, no gimmicks, no locking.

No bullshit.

Just a hard-ass dick and some chewable tabs.

No bullshit.

No visits to the fucking pharmacy.

No pharmacist making you feel like less of a man because your cock doesn't work.

No doctor saying, hey, you're pretty young.

Maybe you should try exercising.

None of that bullshit.

All you have.

All you get

is a fucking discrete package sent to your fucking house that'll make your cock harder than fucking you can even imagine.

The rest of these guys are normal guys.

Those tits look big and juicy.

These guys are all normal.

And there's this one guy imagining like putting his napkin on his lap and fucking kissing her hand

on a painting.

So you go to Blue Chew.com.

And by the way, if you love sex, you'll love that website.

If you love it, you'll love Blue Chew.com.

So basically you go there, you use our promo code, which is Cometown or Cometown20.

And all you have to do is pay the shipping on your first order.

That's our fucking

New Year's gift to you.

A hard-ass dick all January.

You can't beat that.

Let's get back to this league.

Let's get back to this.

All right, so we're going to have to look at this.

No fap.

We're going to have to take a look at Vinoculus's.

Nah, don't say his name.

Beep his name out.

Dealer of sorts.

4908.

Beep his name out.

I don't give a fuck anymore.

I really don't care.

So, what other stuff is this guy into?

Yeah.

Okay, here we go.

This is 27 days ago on K-pop fap.

It's a picture of Jenny from Black Pink.

Let me take a look.

Oh, Jenny is pretty hot.

Yeah, wait, how come I can't see his comment?

I could see the preview of his comment, but now it's not saying

I want to pin her to the wall and tell her you want to taste my

popsicle.

Yeah.

Then she says yes.

She says yes.

God damn.

Jenny's pretty hot.

Yeah.

Jenny is hot.

Anything, any other good stuff?

And they made this cut.

Oh, my God.

It's nice living in this realm.

Realm.

Oh, God.

Did we finish the read Bluetooth.com?

We did.

Promo code.

You got it?

Yeah, we said Come Town or Come Town 20.

That's the most important part of the promo code.

If you are Mr.

Vinoculus,

please visit

on the house.

We'll give you a cut.

Yeah, honestly, we will.

Come town sent you.

Oh, my God.

That's awesome.

Give me now.

Most of these are just weird.

Yeah.

K-pop fab.

Yeah.

They probably don't let them.

You won't even find like they probably don't even take nudes.

No, they don't let them take.

They get in trouble if they're sluts.

Yeah, the most elusive cleavage of all time, and here we are.

What a time to be alive.

Let's see the elusive cleavage.

Is this this girl?

It's barely.

That's it.

for a second.

You sort of see her title of your tit.

Somebody named the silent courage responds, the era is changing, finally.

Are they opening up to more cleavage?

More cleavage, dude.

I love the K-pop fap subreddit.

Yeah, dude.

Thank God the era is changing.

The 2021 K-pop RK-pop fap subreddit survey.

And the survey is strictly 18 plus.

Titles are more than 18 will not be listed.

Oh, I guess this is just.

Oh,

K-pop make up the majority of your fapping.

These guys want to know how much the other guys beat off.

What year did you get into K-pop fapping?

Oh, my God.

Both, where are you from?

Oh, it's not about who the hottest girls are.

It's about how long.

When did you start beating off of these girls?

I thought it was about who the hottest one was.

That's so fucking sick, dude.

These guys are awesome.

That just goes to show you, like, people really need friendship.

Maybe the only reason that I am this horny is because friendship has always been covered in my life.

Yeah.

You know, I've had my same friend since I was a little kid, so I've never felt the need to try and connect through horniness with other men.

Right.

I just am trying to get my dick sucked by girls.

But these guys are...

You're desiring and you go back and hang out with your friends.

These guys are desperately looking for...

you know a community of guys that like to jack off to the same one they just want friends and they happen to tr be trying to bond through beating off to these.

You don't even see the outline of a nipple.

Like, it's not even close.

I couldn't beat off to this kind of stuff when I was 13, and there were grown men beating off to it.

Vinoculous.

Shout out to Vinoculus.

What does that even mean?

Just drunk?

It's just like a drunk, drunk vision.

I don't even fucking know.

I don't even fucking know.

And now I'm looking at Jesse, who's hottest.

She's got big-ass titties.

I just want to see more binoculars puzzle.

Damn.

Yeah, dude, I'm about to move to Seoul.

And I'm going to do the life you said, but

stay this fat, not gain weight.

Yeah.

I'm just going to see who gets expelled from the idol school and try and marry her.

Yeah, for being a slut.

Yeah, I gotta find the word.

And then you see that.

She gets kicked out for sucking cock.

You star your own group of sluts and then they defeat all the other groups yep because again what's the market inefficiency huge tits new era i get them all big ass implications that'll be a new era that'll be the new era of k-pop ushered in ushered in thanks to all the tick tocks that got into my instagram yeah what's up with jesse damn

all right i got a new follow

you got a new follow what i'm just gonna start following nine million she's got nine million followers you think think I have a chance for that?

That's the problem.

Because for a while, I thought that myself.

When I kind of got into this, holy shit, Lisa has 71 million followers.

Yeah, they're way more famous than us.

Oh, without even quit.

I thought, look, bitch, I got fucking 40,000 people to follow me on a parody account.

And

I continue to get banned from Twitter for spreading vaccine missions.

Lisa will like that.

She'll like that.

Lisa's going to like that.

Yeah, Lisa might be anti-vax, dude.

You never know.

Damn, 71 mil.

That's awesome.

But Jesse's only got 9 mil, you know?

That's something.

Taeun, she is feeding us a lot lately.

I hope she keeps doing it more.

Like thinking that they're secretly showing cleavage so that they'll be masturbated to on K-pop fap

by Jon Froff.

We're Unforsaken Dick.

Damn, dude.

I want to come on her cleavage.

There we go.

Something regular.

Fantasizing about hearing her throaty moans as I'm furiously thrusting into that tight, petite body, planting kisses on her neck, and looking into her eyes as I erupt inside.

Dude, what the fuck is that?

Somebody says, Why are you posting that or the public?

And feeling how her muscles fight to keep you inside of her, squeezing

your length out.

What the fuck?

Why are you posting this to other guys?

None of these people have had sex.

No, that is what it'd be like.

Feeling how her muscles fight to keep you inside the thing.

Hey, fellas, here's what I'm talking about.

All the while staring at her, sweat running down her exposed naked beauty.

Do people like these?

How many like these are?

I'm feeling that fragrant scent and hot breath, feeling her tremble underneath you.

That's a gay guy pretending to be straight.

I need an intense blow job from her and spray all my stick comb on her face.

I've even

blowjobs.

What is that?

Half these people, English is their like third language.

You know what?

If you're using it as a tool to learn English, that's fine.

That's fine.

My God, these photos look like sexting photos.

I wonder if she poses like this, too, when she sends news.

This is so hot.

Fuck.

Oh, my God.

So, do people interact with, are they getting like likes of these comments?

Well,

that one is 18 upvotes.

This one has negative two.

Mommy, sorry, mommy, shit.

Sorry, mommy.

Sorry.

Mommy, fuck sorry.

What about the one with the fragrant breath or whatever?

How many upvotes?

Zero.

Poor human.

No, this is somebody said, I don't know what this is.

Poor humans, you can only jerk to them through pics like these.

Meanwhile, I get to lick and suck Nuna's titties on a daily basis.

Yeah, I'm sure you do, bro.

That's why you're on Korean Node and K-pop NoFAP.

What if her boyfriend, her boyfriend is actually posting?

Go to that guy's account.

It would be so sick if he's just like some famous guy.

That would be

so fucking awesome.

Yeah.

I fuck her, dude.

Jacquun Bop.

Some Korean businessman posting on it.

I fuck all of them.

You have to masturbate to ideas.

Meanwhile,

I have made fuck to Jacquun Bao

every day for for four years.

I make fuck to her.

You only touch penis.

That would be awesome.

That would be so fucking.

No, if there's a guy from the community that made it through the ranks.

That would be awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

These photos are too fucking sexy.

Seriously, we'll need to allocate a separate session dedicated to these photos alone.

I will need to.

Like, he's an organization.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When he beats off,

she's combined all of his trademarks.

Honestly, but these guys are habit, dude.

If my whole life was just like, I wake up every morning, I'm like, Time to jack off the Korean winner.

And then I'm like, morning, boys.

Fellas, how was your beating off?

Just a coffee going.

You put on a suit?

Yeah, there's just like scabs all over my dick beating off all the time.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

And I'm like, ooh,

Tajuni has really got me wild.

I have to be careful lest I get a bacterial infection.

Oh my God.

From sweet

Tay June has,

I have

not, there's literally nothing.

That is insane.

She's just wearing a dress.

She's an adorable person.

It's taken as a bathroom selfie.

She looks like my fucking stepmom.

There's nothing

hot.

I mean, you know, she's hot, but there's nothing hot about these pictures.

Who the fuck cares?

The guy said that those are like nudes.

He wonders.

Sometimes I wonder what Taeyun is doing when taking this kind of photos.

Nothing, sitting in a fucking chair.

That's so fucking sick.

I don't know what she's doing, but judging by her expression, I got a very good idea of what's being done to her out of frame.

Really?

You think someone's eating her pussy while she's taking with her completely almost flat aff.

She's just sort of smiling.

I love K-pop fab, dude.

This

is like music to my ears.

Shout out to the K-pop fap group.

Yeah, all right, let's see.

God damn, Wendy.

I guess one of these bitches is named Wendy.

Yeah, they give him names like that.

That's awesome.

Cheryl.

Cheryl Jock Boone.

Yeah, my name's Trishelle June Wando.

Some men are getting their dick sucked by Karina, Tehun, and this fucking goddesses.

Let that sink.

Let that sink?

Not even in.

Let that sink.

I think about that quite often, and the feeling is not pleasant.

Ha ha.

Shit.

Let's go back to masturbate.

Ha ha,

let's let us, that motivate us to be the best version of ourselves.

And as we're going to be

able to women

this hot.

We all men gang.

Let's keep the grind.

Good.

That's a good point.

That's a nice point.

That's nice.

It is nice.

Let's let this inspire us to get better, to get better women.

Better men.

To be better.

I have no reason to be sad.

Instead, aspire to get a girl like one of them.

Ha ha.

Thank you for the words.

Let's get it.

Hell yeah.

I'm like, let's go.

Let's get it.

Let's get it.

Damn, what I'm imagining doing to them, some dude might actually be doing it for real.

Chill out, man.

Holy shit, must be like heaven.

Tyun and Winter look like they could be sisters.

Tyun is the classy and hot big sister.

You'd like to wine and dine while Winter is cute and sweet little sister.

You'd like to put your arm.

How do you have the energy to do this authentically?

I mean, I guess if they're chilling.

But at this point, yeah, exactly.

I don't even fucking look at anything.

I struggle to get my day card.

And then I think, I'm like, fucking like, those motherfuckers never gave me my security deposit bag.

And then I fucking, I wipe my cum on the carpet.

I just wipe it on the floor.

And then I'm like, time for a cigarette.

And to do my fucking job.

I got to do my job.

And read posts.

Read posts by Korean 11-year-olds.

I love it, though.

Yeah.

This is very good shit.

Shout out to fucking.

I'm glad we found this.

It's probably the best subreddit.

There's another one, K Feets, that's just pictures of these women's feet.

Korean women?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I'm not that interested in that.

I do want to say real quick, guys, if you're in San Diego, please come see me.

JG has a natural sex face, in my honest opinion.

That is true.

San Diego, I'm going to be there at the American Comedy Company the 13th through the 15th.

Then I'm in Vegas the 27th through the 29th.

Sacramento, February 3rd through the 5th.

Houston, Austin, Addison,

also in February.

San Francisco in February.

Vancouver, March 3rd through the 5th.

St.

Louis, Chicago, Burlington, Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Toronto, Providence, D.C., Philly, and that will do it.

And then I'm going to fucking quit comedy and disappear into the woods.

But San Diego and Vegas are coming up.

So if you fucking buy some tickets to that, and the special, for those of you wondering, I'll have more information on it.

It'll probably be out, I'm going to say, late February, early March.

And I'm still figuring out where it's going to go.

But I'm leaning towards releasing it myself.

So, you know.

I'm doing Atlanta, New Orleans,

Shreveport,

Fayetteville,

Dallas.

Actually, I would do that, Ron.

Fayetteville?

Yeah, Shreveport and Fayetteville?

Yeah, fuck it.

Why not, dude?

Just find a bar.

Off the wagon

on the zone.

On the road.

Off the wagon, on the road.

Off the wagon, on the and then in parentheses, in the zone.

On in the zone.

On in the zone.

That's That's a good one.

That's the tour.

But I guess I got to start doing Stanley to get it.

Oh, and buy my fucking calendars, baby.

And folks, I'll be in Chicago

for mezzanine.

I will.

As someone who studies breasts for a living,

I think it's safe to say she has a low B cup.

Full enough for a handful of

studies breasts for a living.

Her tits are tiny, but she tries so hard to jiggle them because she wants to be the center of attention.

So true.

Who's this?

Let me take a look.

It's Sado

Unamami.

She's also hot.

No, it's what's crazy is they're all hot.

They are hot.

They're made by machines.

I would fuck them.

I do want to fuck all of them.

Maybe I'll watch that documentary, Adam.

What's it on?

I don't know.

I think it was on Netflix.

Okay.

I watched it.

Okay.

A couple months ago.

Thank you.

I just fapped to this.

Oh my God.

I instantly get hard

just telling your boys you got hard

me i come even without touching my dick oh that's fucking that's nice insane you think these guys are like korean uh just they're like a nice probably like weird german guys i think half of them are and then the other half is everything else no k-pop is international i know huge

huge

I think way less than half are Korean.

You think so?

Yeah.

It's interesting.

We'd have to do somebody figure that out.

Somebody go on K-pop NoFAP and tell us where they're going.

Imagine devouring that tight goddess ass after a long workout.

Nice.

Hell yeah.

It's a Pilates video.

Okay.

Damn.

Yeah, so if any of you guys know them, let them know that we say what's up.

Yeah.

I want to be one of the guys that they're jealous of on K-pop.

Yeah, yeah.

I want them to suck me off.

God, can you imagine someone fuck them for real?

Don't shit.

You have to go back to masturbate.

Dude, there's nothing to be sad about.

We gang men get together to aspire to fuck them.

And that's the kind of shit you can do if you live in Korea or one of these countries that's on the come up.

Right.

What the fuck am I supposed to do as an American?

Right.

We're in a declining empire.

They're inspired as shit.

No.

They're going to force me full of vaccines I don't want to fucking take.

They'll make me get a job sucking dick for a living.

Right.

Yep.

Just so Bill Gates can get another fucking helicopter.

Yep.

And I'm supposed to pretend that one day maybe I'd actually be able to fuck Yuna.

We know that's not happening.

I know it's not happening.

Your dick's not going to work because of all the vaccines.

Yeah, exactly.

It's because of the vaccine.

Yeah, the vaccine made my dick really small.

Yeah, that's small.

But I care about the greater good.

Yeah.

It was big before.

The vaccine ruined my dick.

The vaccine, before my dick was small.

You could ask anyone.

Ask every hot girl.

Ask literally every girl.

But they forgot because they got the vaccine.

Yeah.

But before they had memories of me feeling.

Because the vaccine is also like the men in black blinky thing.

For hot girls, you know.

For hot girls.

For hot girls.

Yeah.

A lot of people don't know that.

Now I have to lie to girls that I never got the vaccine.

That's why you just take a shit in their pussy.

So true.

Because that'll fuck them up worse than the vaccine.

What does it give them toxic?

Women are always saying they want their pussy destroyed.

And it's like, yeah, well, let's see what happens when you have a bacterial.

You have a Chipotle diarrhea in your fucking snatch.

From two.

I mean, an entire day of leftover eating it from

pass through a digestive system that still hasn't fixed itself after a decade of being a raging alcoholic.

Just imagine her tight butthole wrapped around your cock stomach,

holding your cockhead until she milks you dry.

So you come inside her ass, and then proceeds to dance like this on stage.

Well, that's the amazing thing.

She's dancing with a butthole full of cum.

Yeah, right.

Wow.

That's awesome.

Ryujin wearing them shorts nicely.

There you go.

Trying to better myself so I can feel as though I deserve her.

Yeah, they're definitely Asian because

it takes a Zen mind to

spend your entire day masturbating the pictures of women and being like, there is a spiritual path forward here.

That's what the third Matrix should have been about.

Neo should have been some fat guy masturbating to.

The fourth, you mean?

Yeah, the new one.

He should have been a fat guy masturbating to K-pop, and then he's just a fat, white fucking loser.

And then, if he thinks hard enough,

he doesn't get to fuck them.

He just becomes a Korean guy masturbating.

And that's good enough.

Morpheus is like, you should be happy with this, Neo.

Neo.

And by the way, we get into the.

It could be worse.

You could be on the down low.

I mean, not like me.

I'm straight.

And by the way, folks, we get into the fourth Matrix in a major way on the bonus episode, which you can find at patreon.com/slash Cometown.

Comes out this Sunday.

Comes out this Sunday.

Now's the time to sign up.

It's not, it's $60 tops

because it ain't going to exist in one year.

So do it now.

Enjoy it.

Yeah.

And

we really get into the new Matrix.

Who's that?

I love mature Chinese idols.

Chang Shao, Pinky, and now Shao Ting are in my must-fap list.

The must-fap list?

What's up with Pinky?

Is that Cheng Shao?

She looks hot.

Pinky and Give Brain.

Maybe the mature ones, maybe it's kind of like when porn stars age into MILF and they just get bigger tits and a bigger ass.

Maybe the mature idols get bigger tits and bigger ass.

One of these guys is literally going to just sit down Indian style and set himself on fire because he can't fuck one of these women.

That's not so bad.

He went out swinging, dude.

I see a Camel toe.

That's what this guy says.

how we doing we're doing good dude the episode's over the episode is over

we had so much fun reading these guys fucking little messages yeah well get ready for a fucking year of that

i'm just gonna find

she does have big tits oh yeah who's this that's momo damn okay that's how we're gonna maybe you were right

all right and that's a beautiful way to end this

Everyone, go beat off.

That's what I call a gift dress.

One unwrapping, and she's fully naked, ready to be used for your pleasure.

Oh, yeah, these kids have never had sex before pleasure.

And that's why he calls it a gift to dress.

Yep, because it's a gift.

Because that makes sense.

That's schizophrenic.

Yeah.

That's what I call a gift to dress.

No, you know that.

Oh, you're right.

There's certain.

She does have a nice little pair on her for sure.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Shout out to Mo Mo.

That is a type of porn where a guy, it's called like luxury porn or something.

Yeah, you would know.

Where a guy gives a woman an expensive dress.

You have got to be kidding me.

I swear to God, I met this guy once that told me he jacked off.

That's what he jacks off to.

Really?

You met yourself?

No, yeah.

No, it wasn't me.

You met a guy.

It wasn't me.

Adam meets another classic Adam meets a guy story.

You meet a lot of guys who do gay shit.

Luxury porn.

No, no, no.

It is quite possibly the gayest straight porn you could watch.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, it's just like, look how fabulous he is.

And the most Jewish.

I need my face buried between Benny's fat ass cheeks.

Amen, brother.

I would love it if K-pop fap had like just one just hood-ass black dude on him.

It's all just

all Korean 12-year-olds, and then one guy's like, you know, just fucking.

Yeah.

I'll tell you why.

But

like, it is not honorable the way you describe her body.

Well, all right.

Yeah.

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