Ep. 288 – sexual pret a manger

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And this is

week

19.

Well, to all our fans that were frustrated with us in all the cabin episodes, we are back in New York.

We were back in New York.

We drove back real quick because Adam had diarrhea in every one of the beds.

We are recording now

concurrent with the release of the episodes.

This is being recorded on the day of the release of this episode, correct?

It is, yeah.

This is live.

Stav is

Stav has succumbed to

candy poisoning.

Yes.

Which

sorry, I feel like you're at a burp, but nothing's coming up.

You need a peek real quick?

No, I'm alright.

You want to just

take a couple seconds?

We could all take a couple seconds.

Yeah, we'll take a couple seconds.

I feel like we've worked hard enough, Ted.

Oh, it's on the coffee table.

I'll get it.

Okay.

Well, then it's just me.

It's December something,

probably.

December something.

I hope you guys are in.

You had a nice Thanksgiving holiday.

You maybe tried

a different type of cuisine, went outside of your comfort zone, no turkey and stuffing.

What the hell is stuffing anyways?

You know?

How did that come about?

A bunch of garbage?

Bunch of garbage they put in the bird's ass?

That's right.

That's crazy.

I wonder if anyone's done that bit a million times.

I think you're the first, probably.

Yeah, what is that?

Just

a way to redo bread, right?

As a condiment?

Yeah, I really don't.

I think, and it stabbed will agree with me, Thanksgiving food kind of garbage.

It's just a lot of it.

Overrated.

Overrated.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think turkey is peasant food.

And

as we now find ourselves in the

in sort of the top 1% of the 1%.

It's nice knowing with the little run we had before we came out here how bad the show had been already.

Yeah.

That it doesn't really, it goes from like a 2 to a 1.

I feel like we're not.

I think in general we can gauge that it's good or bad, but I feel like beyond that, we're not good at gauging.

At gauging

quantifying things.

Or the quality of the product.

Yeah,

I can't do that with anything.

I'll look at a woman and I'll be like 250 pounds.

Yeah.

And she'll be like, excuse me?

She's like, I'm dying from anorexia.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And,

you know, I was like, well,

you know, I didn't say you weren't beautiful.

Yeah.

I just said you look like you're 250 pounds.

So if you take offense to that, that's on you.

Yeah.

I saw a woman

and I was like, that's a 14-year-old.

And she was like, I'm 28.

And I'm like, that's disgusting.

Did that happen for real?

No.

I was trying to play off of your quantifying thing.

Stav is taking a shit right now for everyone that's listening.

You know, I've never seen his shits.

What do you think they're like?

It's weird that we know so much about his body.

Well, here's the thing: is that you would expect his farts to be powerful, but they're kind of a feat.

Well,

his asshole is squeezed shut.

But

by fat.

By fat.

Yeah, I would say it quietly.

Yeah, we don't want him to hear.

We don't want him to hear that we think he's fat.

Honestly,

I never laugh harder than when he pretends he doesn't know that he's fat.

That gets me

pretty good.

It's kind of like Eric Cartman, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Big-boned.

Oh, here he comes.

Oh, hey.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

It's fine.

I was just telling the audience how we're back from the cabin now and we're doing the episodes live again

so they can relax.

I know we got to.

Yeah, it's December.

it's we're in the Christmas spirit right now doing some holiday shopping.

Yep, I'm buying.

What are you getting your mom for Christmas?

That's always a fun conversation.

I'm getting her

a

couch.

Yeah.

I'm getting her a couch and I'm getting her a stand mixer that we already discussed.

And I already bought her the stand mixer because my mom, you guys have had my mother's cookies.

Fantastic cookies so i got her a heavy-duty fucking stand mixer so that she can get a nice batch going for the whole team yeah so she can get those cookies out and then go back to mothering get back yeah yeah well her and my grandma just fucking chill out they got my brother's old room

They put a couple I bought them lazy boys two two or three Christmases ago.

They made a little bitch cave.

They made a bitch cave, dude.

They got a TV and a little and my grandma has a tablet that she plays Sudoku on.

Nice.

And they're just fucking in there watching fucking Greek TV.

Fucking.

My aunt just reached out.

She's got a hot plate.

Like their hot plate.

Like they're living like fucking crackheads, like in an abandoned place.

They're cooking rocks on the hot plate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Going to West Baltimore.

My aunt just moved into a new house and she was looking for stuff to throw out.

Oh, yeah.

There's all these boxes of shit in her house.

What kind of stuff does she have?

She's opening the box and she looks at me and she goes, Do you know anyone that does Sudoku?

Wow.

And I said no.

And she's like, She had a book of Sudoku.

Yeah.

She'd have given it to my grandma.

She loves it.

It's probably a probably like a $1.3 million house that they moved into.

Yeah.

And she doesn't want to throw out the Sudoku.

That's how rich people be acting, though.

Yeah.

That's how they got rich.

Yeah.

By not throwing shit away.

Next Jewish family.

Yeah.

That he keeps secret.

That he does keep secret.

He's half.

I keep them hidden.

He's a quarter.

That sounds like I'm Dugapad, but it's true.

No, I know it is true.

But no one will believe you.

They think I'm Dugabet.

Did he mute me?

No.

oh no he didn't oh that's fine um yeah i'm getting i'm so yeah and i'm trying to get a get the guy who did my basement yeah uh i'm trying to get him to remodel the bitch cave i want him to come in rip out the floor she they got they put when we were babies they put wall-to-wall carpeting yeah everywhere yeah i want them to and god knows how many of my brother's teenage loads hit that carpet.

I used to bust on the carpet

in high school.

I just remembered that.

I was joking.

It was so lazy.

You don't think that it's going to do anything.

It's like decomposing biologically.

Yeah, you think it's going to disappear.

You're like, oh, it's like water.

I think I told this story already, but when I lived in Austin, the apartment complex had a community room with computers in it.

And half the apartments in that complex would be like, it would be a one-bedroom apartment with like 12 Guatemalan guys.

And anytime, because the gym was in the back.

So you'd have to walk to the computer area.

And anytime I walked in there, there was like two computers at desk, and there would be like a four foot seven Guatemalan guy that would just scoot the computer chair closer.

And then he's looking at the desktop, you know, for whatever reason.

Like the start menu.

Oh, he's not looking at dirty videos?

Well, he is.

He's just closed minimum closed.

Yeah, so he they're like scoot all the way close to the wall

so you can't see it.

But

my roommate was the manager of the apartment complex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you can like shine a light under the desk in the back wall,

under the computers.

I mean, it looked like fucking LeRay cats.

They didn't even bust in their own hands.

Look where, like, Tom Sawyer went missing.

Yeah.

You know, that's fucking.

Remember that show on MTV Room Raiders?

Yeah.

It's dead, Nick.

We got to charge the jewel.

You got a charger upstairs.

I actually have a special kind of e-cigarette that you could use, Nick.

Yeah.

What is it?

It's a really cool cigarette.

It's really cool.

That's what they call it.

Would you like a Euro cigarette?

Would you like a Euro sig?

Yeah, it's really cool.

It's warm.

It's not cold metal.

Oh, it's warm.

It's already at body temperature.

And it's got a nice salty taste.

What is that?

And you suck on it.

Okay.

And you suck on it for like...

It's got nicotine?

12,

14 minutes

with your eyes closed.

Do you get cloud from it?

Can you blast it?

Yeah, a certain kind of...

The thing is, cloud starts as a liquid form.

Oh, that's right.

It's a vapor.

So this, you swallow a little bit of this juice, this cloud, and you don't need any for the.

Yeah, I just remember that Rory Scovel joke.

What Rory Scoville joke?

Where he's like, yeah, my dad caught me smoking cigarettes,

and then he made me finish that pack in front of him, and then he made me jack him off with my mouth.

Here's the thing, is like I've never smoked a cigarette since then, but I can't stop sucking guys off.

I miss Rory, man.

He's the funniest guy.

It's weird because

I guess he probably still does stand-up.

But he's like an actor.

Well, yeah, he was just, he became famous.

What was it?

What's he on?

That's it.

That's what the body don't see.

He was in an Amy Schumer movie, right?

He was on the Bo Burnham MTV show.

Which show?

Oh, yeah.

The one where Bo Burnham's trying to get famous or something.

And then he's in a movie with that hot bitch, Rose Byrne, or a show.

But I think it's on Apple TV, and I don't.

I saw her IRL the other day.

You did?

She's so hot.

She's unbelievable.

She's married to

a hot guy.

Who?

How hot guy?

I forget now.

But I saw them at the

fucked up, dude.

How hot, and it's Red Man of the Community.

Is it Bobby Cannaval?

I think it's Bobby Canavalle.

Oh, dude.

He's a piece of it.

He deserves it.

He deserves it.

Yeah, I was going to be mad, but

that's a hot guy of respect.

He's not like a hot guy.

I have tremendous respect for him.

Oh, that's awesome.

Salute to Bobby Cannavale if he's fucking Rose Byrne.

Is Bobby Cannavale the

guy with the kind of the shovel face?

Or I'm thinking of that actor, that Italian actor, the guy that played Fredo, died of bone cancer.

Yeah, that was all five times.

He was a good actor.

Yeah.

Look at them.

They look great together.

Yeah, he's hot.

I thought that was Armand DeSante when I was a kid.

Who's that?

A different actor.

I always confuse him with that guy that was at your old gym,

the Jewish Bobby Canaval.

John Bernthal.

John Bernthal.

Oh, that's a

hop.

They're a similar.

I think they go out for the same roles.

You think so?

Yeah, you know, Bobby Karnale.

Conival could have played, could have played

Tony Soprano's dad.

Yeah.

They do.

Yeah.

Who's John Bernthal, man?

We're due for a fun John Bernthal movie.

I feel like there hasn't been one this year.

You know, Bernthal, of course.

Yeah.

We're all friends with him.

Yeah, we're friends.

He was the Adam.

Texts him sometimes.

I got his number.

Out of the phone book, too.

Just listed.

Yeah.

So we got a burn book.

Yeah.

I did the most cringe thing.

Shut up.

You're not.

It's been weeks.

Adam.

It's been weeks.

It's been weeks.

It's December.

It's Christmas season.

We're back in New York City.

We've missed each other since the cabin.

We had a great time.

Yeah, I miss you guys.

Stop lost £150.

He lost £150.

He actually looks kind of sick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you get a parasite or something?

Well, yeah, ever since we had those raw

to see you thin.

I'll never be thin.

But I mean, I would just want to see it.

Like if a computer could do it.

You remember how they're like, this is what Jesus actually looked like?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is thin style.

This is biblical stuff.

I don't want to be thin, but I do want to.

Listen, once the fucking tools are going to be.

You pull Matt Kazam.

Remember what happened to him?

Kazan.

He moved to Vegas.

He was a Vegas act.

He got like a hot young Russian wife.

Yeah.

And then got really into juicing.

Oh, yeah.

And then

his Facebook was all like, he'd be like, check out the hall today.

And he'd show his fridge.

With fridge and vegetables.

Which was just stuffed with lettuce.

It's crazy that his name's because I know it's Kazan, not Kazan, but he looks like a genie, too.

I think that's one of those things where you kind of.

Chicken or the egg.

It makes you, you live up to that.

I saw a couple of Sikh teenagers coming out of, like, I think Ikea.

Did you want to seek their dicks?

I did.

Seek and destroy.

Yeah.

But they were clearly high.

And that's got to be awesome.

You call the police?

To be a Sikh teenager and get fucking high as shit.

And then you go in the bathroom.

You're like, dude, like three wishes, bro.

Whatever.

Do you think they forget they're not genies?

They're like, damn.

Where'd the lamp at?

I'm trying to chill in the lamp.

Can I do

just a thought I had crossed my mind?

a minute and a half ago?

Yeah.

It's an unfunny, probably 1990s observational economy.

Why are you so self-aware right now?

What's ever stopped?

Has that ever stopped you?

No, no, and it won't.

And I'll never stop.

Who, okay, the first guy to do steak tartare had to have been an absolute fucking psycho.

Yeah.

I'm going to put a raw egg in some ground beef.

Yep.

And this is going to be fancy.

Yeah, I want to be at the meeting.

I want to be at the.

I would love to be at the meeting.

There was a meeting where they decided that.

They were like, we need to make a new food.

Right.

Yeah.

And it would go a little bit.

How would it go?

I want to be at the board meeting where the fucking guys like steak tartare.

Hey, how about steak?

But we don't cook it.

Okay, let's take hamburger meat.

Yep.

Let's put a raw egg in the center.

I missed the underlying reference.

Well, it's just a crazy thing to invent.

I don't know what it is.

Steak tartare?

I don't know what it is.

You don't know what steak tartare is.

I would imagine

it was a processed steak.

No, you

raw meat.

You've never had it.

You've never had steak tartare?

It's really good.

I don't have it, dude.

It's raw, ground beef.

I order pate

all the time, and I don't know what it is, really.

It's liver.

It's liver that's cooked.

It is cooked.

It's like blended liver and fat.

Yeah.

It's good.

It's tasty.

When you get the good shit.

Yeah, I don't.

I just like sort of cruise through life.

Yeah.

There's a lot of things I don't pay attention to.

Oh, yeah.

Here's a really nice one.

Because I fixate on bullshit.

This one looks good.

That looks great.

You know?

I had some.

For those of you who want to know the picture we're looking at.

Like, I know different types of.

From the local palate, Mediterranean beef tartare with pickled Vidalia onion.

Different types of elevators.

Yep.

But I remember

being at a group of people.

Anheuser-Krupp?

Isn't that one of them?

Sure.

I think that's a beer company.

Krupp, isn't that

Anheuser-Busch.

I think you're thinking toilets.

Isn't there

a gladiator?

Toilets.

I went to SeaWorld with my family as a child,

which I think was owned by the Bush people, Busch Gardens.

And they had Clydesdales there.

I think it was when we went to SeaWorld.

And there was a horse, a Clydesdale named Duke, who had...

Anheuser-Krump?

Is that something?

Anyway, this horse had the most incredible penis I've ever seen in my entire life.

Like, the most.

How awesome was it?

It was the biggest cock I've ever seen in my life.

Do you think the only reason horses let us ride them is because we're wearing pants?

Like if a horse could see your dick and then you tried to ride it, it would be like, no, it wouldn't come out.

Yeah, they think our legs are dicks.

Because they don't have human legs.

They think we're birds with

two big dicks.

Two big dicks.

Yeah.

Or wouldn't we be birds?

Because they're like, oh, I'll let this bird land on me.

Sure, it's got a bigger dick than maybe.

Oh, so because it respects us, it thinks our dicks are bigger than its.

Right.

I can't imagine being a horse.

Yeah, you're a big

one.

They have been, over the years,

so nice to us.

Some little dick bird.

Well, it has a big dick, I thought.

Well, yeah.

If our pants are off.

If the pants are off, yeah.

Now it still thinks we're a bird.

Well, they're dumb.

They're horses.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't think about that.

I wonder what a horse feels like.

Like, if imagine you put your bare balls on a horse's back, you would think that they would get annoying.

Here's the thing about a horse, right?

We want to breed them to have a smaller dick because they're racing animals.

And so you want to cut as much weight as possible.

Well, sometimes it's a drag.

Horses might be the only species where

the women's sports

are just as comparable.

Yeah.

They have Phillies that win like Kentucky Derbies.

Well, they race women against horses?

They let women.

No, they let the lady horses.

What's a guild?

You don't mean female jockeys.

They would still lose.

They would lose.

You need a little Mexican guy.

You need a little tiny little Mexican guy.

Yes, absolutely.

My dad

went on vacation with his family

and they were like on a horse trail and the horse broke and it galloped and my grandfather was like that boy's a natural equestrian he's also a short man and he said i think it's one of his greatest traumas his dad took him to a stable to be measured as like a potential jockey your dad yeah his my grandfather took my dad to a stable to be like measured my

i don't think uh I don't think he went into jockeying.

He didn't want to be a jockey.

I mean, it's pretty embarrassing.

Your dad's little, isn't he?

He's not crazy.

I'm crazy.

He's like 5'6 ⁇ .

Yeah, that means he's smaller than that.

He's probably 5'7.

No, you're lying.

He's probably smaller than that.

Why would I lie?

He's taller than.

Are you taller than his dad?

We're about the same.

Yeah.

I'm taller than my dad.

He's taller than his dad.

Yeah.

I feel like you're supposed to do that.

You're supposed to get taller than your dad.

Yeah.

If you're not, you should kill yourself.

I'm shorter than my dad.

My dad might be, my guy, an inch on me.

I'm shorter than my dad, and I'm the same.

You should kill him.

My parents have shrunk, but my mom used to be the same eyes as me.

Really?

Yeah, they're old now.

That's hot.

What about her tits?

Same size as you.

Show a little respect.

What?

Am I asking a question?

I would never say that about Venetia.

You have said.

You said you wanted to fuck her, I think.

Just said that when she hugs me with her giant tits, it feels comforting.

And it does.

I feel so loved.

I feel like no matter what,

if I have kids that are

taller than me.

Your cord's fucked up.

But they'll be taller than me when they're like 10.

Yeah.

That's going to be terrible.

Because they're already not going to respect me on like an emotional.

Of course, of course, of course.

Well, you won't be in their lives.

Yeah.

That's not a big deal.

I will go through Wikipedia.

Yeah.

The cords.

Yeah.

It's really cool in that movie Boyhood where Ethan Hawk

doesn't have to be in his son's life because he has a cool enough car.

Same thing.

Never seen it.

I don't like movies where angels don't get shot.

Angels in the outfield.

That's a good point.

No one gets shot in Remember the Titans.

Yeah, but it's implied.

There's implied violence.

There's racism, which is a type of shooting.

Yeah, there's a

type of shooting.

And a guy gets his shit fucked up.

He gets paralyzed and dies or some shit.

He had in a car accident.

And any people.

Okay.

Violence or someone making fun of a guy calling him gay.

Really?

They do that to sunshine?

I just mean hazing or violence or something.

Shout out to

Ethan, friend of the show, too.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You could probably pull an Ethan move.

I could.

Yeah.

Once this show.

No, that guy's my fucking role model.

This show ends.

You know, I totally, how I started talking to him.

Ethan wants to put you on a program.

Yeah, we're boys.

I'll fuck with you.

How I started talking to him is I DM'd him.

I think I was probably all coked up.

Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, you got to help stop.

I was like, I don't know how to get through it.

Dude, you know what I want?

He thinks I'm criticizing.

You know what I want?

I am doing, by the way.

One thing I would love to do is Ethan could help me.

I wish it could be a looper looper situation where Ethan could help me now, but I go back in time and I help fat Ethan believe in himself and get pussy when he's like 500 pounds.

Maybe he was getting pussy.

He wasn't.

We've talked about it.

No, you'll probably.

He hated himself.

You're going to hit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so, dude, imagine.

He didn't get pussy off of being a Nazi in American hoodie, but he didn't get the amount he could have.

Finally, allow yourself to be in a relationship with someone that cares about you, and then you'll lose the weight.

That's probably true.

But then you will absolutely turn into one of those, like,

change-your-life guys.

Yeah, well, I think, but I also think we all should change our lives.

I'm barely, the only reason I'm not that guy now is because change nothing.

I'm in the middle of the battle.

No, no one wants, no one wants a fixed clown.

They want us broke.

Yeah, they want broken toys.

They want broken toys.

Maybe they also want maybe

one of the best things for me.

Do they want dick pills or do they want

dick pills?

Do they want

something else also?

Very good observational.

That's what I'm here for, boys.

Very observational.

Wait, is it dick pills or literally and figuratively?

You carry a lot of weight.

Is it dick pills or is it maybe a fake drug of one or two fake drugs?

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And you can swallow this dick also.

You can swallow Stavros Halgius's penis.

Blue chewed sildenophil.

I still can't say it.

Sildenophil table.

And Tadalophil.

The tablets are chewable, and they're made in the U.S.

and they prepare to ship direct, so it's cheaper than the pharmacy.

Here's the deal.

You know what?

You know what king?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What they should have.

I just wanted to close this strong.

If Blue Chew is listening, which they have to, that poor woman has to listen to all of these.

A real woman?

Yeah.

Oh, I would have used my sexy voice.

No.

Yeah, they have to make sure that we do our job.

Oh, that's funny.

Yeah, but I don't care if it's a guy listening to make sure I do my job.

Fuck God.

The pill that's a hot chick and she's touching herself.

The pill that prevents you.

You ever get the, you ever like

fuck up the bottom of your tongue uh

uh like going down on someone to sure of course yeah yeah what do you what you get on the downstroke the like the the whatever like the look

that weapon you cut it yeah you cut it on your teeth i guess i have a chipped tooth so maybe that contributes and or you can be you can be eating pussy too voraciously and it happens yeah it doesn't happen to me yeah i get all kinds of mouse injury fat lips my tongue fucking gets fucked up i i only need like 30 to 45 seconds and the girl is screaming in ecstasy

you know what i need help with is my shoulder hurts i'll help you sometimes and i have to go get i think i might have to go get surgery because i have a torn labrum so you can finger pop better it used to never affect me but your hand no my shoulder oh your shoulder and it's well you know i like you got a slap tear fucking i do have a slap tear yeah and i you got to eat put you got to mouth on the clit finger pop the pussy hole and that's why i'm bad at it because that's for me that is like totally the pat on the head, rubbing the.

It's not a rhythm thing.

It's a.

I can't.

Yeah, I just literally.

It's my labor.

I'm talking about it right now, and I feel it hurting.

It's just, I got to get it.

When you said on the show, you're like, yo, this, uh,

like, I never in my life has someone squirted from me going down on it.

Oh, that's.

I just don't know how to do it.

I love it.

Pretty much.

I get busted.

I get busted in my face like a little slut.

Yeah.

And I love it.

I'm just sopping wet.

And the girl's like, do you want to have sex now?

I said, it doesn't matter if I bust.

It doesn't matter.

Madam.

I gotta make myself female pleasure.

But you know what gives women pleasure?

Is Blue Chew

because your dick is hard.

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And we thank Blue Chew

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And we thank that hot girl from Blue Chew that's listening right now.

And I'm single.

I'm sprayed up.

I'm in December now because you broke up in November, as we all know.

Well, you let me

tragic.

You let me progress.

And I'm trying to get over the car accident.

And

I need an ad, a boner pill ad bitch to get me through this.

You were giving me like lessons on your girlfriend, and I killed her.

That's what happened.

Yeah, yes.

Because I used too much force trying to learn.

To learn.

And I want to say real quickly before we go on here, and we have a lot to talk about.

I, it's December, as we all know.

I've probably already announced, I've already announced the next leg of the Prince of Pleasure tour of the pleasure continues.

I think I've already recorded my special.

And if I hadn't, if I haven't,

come see the warm-up shows on December 5th.

Or come see me in Boston December 9th and 11th.

But also, I have a Pantheon coming up on the 15th of December.

And go to stavi.biz.

Very exciting.

We are announcing the West Coast swing.

We got San Diego.

We got Vegas.

Nice.

We got Sacramento.

I think Austin.

I think I'm doing a Texas run.

Austin, Houston, Dallas.

So

my whole family will be there.

Yep.

Stavi.biz slash tour.

More announcements coming soon, but yes.

Nice.

At this point, I believe I have already announced this on the internet.

As we all know, it's already December.

And for the Boston show, you were saying everyone named Kevin gets in for free.

Everyone named Kevin.

It's a pretty common name up there.

Yeah, well, that's amongst the Irish.

That's what the club feels I needed to do to move tickets.

All right.

All the power to you.

Yeah, you gave yourself a slap tear, fingering.

That's insane.

No, no, it was from football injury.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, but it aggravating.

It was a magnet.

I'm like, is that the kind of effort people?

No.

I got a helmet to the top.

I was swimming over this kid because I was tearing his ass up.

I was a nose tackle.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, man.

And we're playing at Morgan State University.

We got the big lights.

They got the high school team under the at the college stadium.

The dick is hard.

I'm feeling amped up.

The cuties are fucking watching me.

And

I'm getting pressure on the quarterback.

Now, he was a scrambler, so

I only got one sack, I believe, but I was beating my man consistently.

And they know what you mean by scrambler.

He did happen to be an African-American gentleman.

Our quarterback at the time, Laquan Williams, went on to play a special team for the Baltimore Ravens.

Oh, very nice.

So, anyway.

But, yeah, this little cocksucker jammed his helmet up into my fire as I was swimming

under my arm, jammed it up, tore it up.

That was my move.

Did you feel it?

I felt it pop.

it felt horrible I had that happen to me I was benching once and I was done and I was re-racking the weight and something yeah like like it felt like you know where

I forget the name of it but the like the tip of where your collarbone hits your shoulder

yeah

the to that bump something popped there yeah and it like you know it like went down my arm I don't know what it was and then I forgot about it and this was I had like a writing job at the time yeah and I went to work and sitting there it was my my arm was just on fire.

Something similar happened to me, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where it was like, I was, there was like, I was a backup quarterback for the Miami Sharks.

And the coach was Al Pacino.

Right, right, right.

And the quarterback gets injured.

And they were like, listen, you're a flashy young black man.

He said that to you?

Yeah, but we think you can carry the team.

And we're going to call you Steeman.

Willie Beaman.

Yeah, yeah.

And basically, I don't know.

I was with you until you just bailed on the bit.

I hated you.

I was in.

I was in.

I was ready to yes in.

This is because I'm at this level now.

I have to bail that often.

But don't say that about yourself.

You had

a bail like me.

If you just had.

Don't do that.

Don't you have to do was describe the movie

was you?

Describe the movie, but then you can jump, you just go into an Al Pacino, which is the easiest impression.

That would require an impression.

Dude, it's so easy.

Just try it.

Go ahead.

Dude, my favorite.

That's good.

That's a good start.

You missed it.

We were outside.

He's telling me about something Steven said.

And he tries to make Steven sound more Jewish than he was.

Right, right, right.

When in reality, he's

way more Jewish.

He is.

It would require you gentiling up your voice, not Jewing it up.

Al Pacino's Jewish.

No, Steven.

Oh, Steven.

All actors are Jewish.

De Niro.

All those great.

Not only that, but they're all like.

Al Pacino, 5'1.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're all so tiny.

Pesci, 4'3.

Yep.

Dude, Pesci, that picture of Pesci was just a hot-ass tall bitch.

Yeah.

That's what I need to get on.

I need a 6'2 girlfriend.

Yeah.

100%.

And our kids are going to make the league, by the way.

Yeah.

You're going to get married to a chick that looks like

the girl from Third Rock from the.

No, no, no, no, no.

She's going to have kind of a.

She's going to be very hot, sexy,

a little bit more from from the sun.

No, she was a big,

tall, like maybe a little bit like a butch.

Yeah, but not in an unfuckable way.

I'll fuck a girl like that, no issue, but I'm not.

In a way that you you would watch the big game with her, and she she wouldn't be.

I would love that, but I don't see that in my future.

I would love, I would love a girl that wants to watch the big game with me.

Yeah, but but

I don't know.

You'll probably get married to a chick like Kathy Ireland.

It's so funny because that's such a low standard to set.

What?

Like, I wanna

meet a woman that will watch the Super Bowl.

Oh, I don't mean the Super Bowl, actually.

But you know, just.

What big game?

I I'm just in general.

Oh, you thought we were using the euphemism because we don't want to get sued for the copyrighted day of the Super Bowl.

No, I have no idea what you said.

I'm using the words you said.

Yeah.

I didn't mean the Super Bowl.

He just means like a little bo a bit of a butcher.

Not butch, but like you want to chill.

That's true.

She's fun.

Yeah, I could see that.

She could chill with just the boys and hold her own.

Sure.

That would be nice.

These aren't bad things.

No, but I just, I guess.

What the fuck did that bitch look like?

Kristen Stewart?

Is that her name?

Kristen Davis?

Kristen Stewart.

The reality is you should pick a partner based on their genetic profile.

Okay.

Because what, I mean, I don't know, I know you think I mean it in a racist way.

But, you know, fuck the high.

You don't want somebody that's going going to like die.

That's the biggest bummer.

Yeah, don't get married.

You marry somebody five years later to get branded.

You know what?

I take it back.

Can you imagine how embarrassing that is?

I take it back.

I would absolutely marry you.

Yeah, no, I'm saying she has a vibe that's attractive about you.

Yeah, I'm with you.

I didn't mean it in a way that you'll get married to a lesbian.

I wasn't trying to say that.

I was trying to bigger you up as your friend.

I'm in there.

I'm in there in a major way, actually, now that I think about it.

Gattaca style arrangement.

Indian Gattaca.

Indian Gattaca.

I'm going for it.

No, I don't want.

No, you shouldn't do that.

You got to do for love, dude.

For the love of the game.

Have you ever been attempting?

Have you ever attempted doggy with a girl that's taller than you?

100%.

And that your femurs aren't long enough to actually get it in.

I bought a bed specifically.

So that when I am standing up,

a woman is at perfect dick height.

Oh, you do a a standing dog.

So then I can do standing doggy.

Wow.

Because

I don't have the mobility in my lower back or the height to fuck doggy with my knees on the mattress.

Standing doggy, that's like how Napoleon probably feels.

I love standing doggy.

You feel so noble.

You have no idea how powerful you feel.

And when I'm on my knees, I'm like,

I just don't have a nice base.

That's why you got to go one leg up.

You do the cap.

One leg up is nice, too.

But that also, again, that's lower back mobility.

Yeah.

And I got to work on that.

Yeah.

But yeah, absolutely.

And even standing sometimes,

if the bed is wrong, if it's too high, I've fucked all my tips.

You've got tippy toes in a mate a lot of times.

Yeah.

I fucked on my tippy toes quite a bit.

Yeah.

And that, that, and you know what?

That's where the calves come in.

You're trying to see what mom's cooking off the ground.

That's where my calf strength comes in.

From sex.

Well, no, it's just an added bonus.

Yeah.

Because

I have fucked a prolonged amount, both tippy toes.

Because I fucked plenty of girls taller than me.

Oh, you've pumped for multiple minutes on your tippies.

I've pumped on my tippies.

Damn, I'm terrible at fucking.

You ever run out of breath on the bottom?

Not breath.

You ever have to be like, I need to take a break.

I need to reflect

from your cow girl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've run out of dick hardness on the bottom.

Where I'm like,

honestly, I I have a real goal in my life.

Or I've run out of, I'll say, this track, because I like to grab and

fuck from the bottom, be a power,

be a top from the bottom, grab a girl by the hips and move her around.

Yeah.

That's when the gym, when I'm working out, I feel that's awesome.

This is probably going to be the most hated episode.

No, this is

the city talk.

This is like after this.

This is like sex in the city for the fellas.

Sex is for the fellas.

Yeah.

I have an actual goal, and this is not a bit in my life.

Hit me, dude.

At a certain point, and it's not very long from now, to commit to exclusive missionary for the rest of my life.

Rest of your life.

Yes.

Why?

I think it is the most intimate and loving position.

There's no reason.

Everything else is showboaty and flashy.

You don't ever want to eat ass from the back.

No, I'm not a hip-hop.

I'm not a hip-hop style quarterback.

Just an old-fashioned missionary.

You can get missionary.

You can have a 90% missionary diet, but you got to keep.

What about vacation?

You're not going to fuck on the hair on the music.

Having sex with a woman from the back is because you want to be having sex with a homosexual man for the moment.

Or maybe a straight guy.

Yeah, yeah.

Or another straight guy.

Yeah, that's true.

Especially if you have short hair.

Simulated gay sex.

Okay, all right.

That's fair.

That's a fair point.

That's a fair point.

I recently watched A Normal Heart.

Or the HBO.

The HBO AIDS movie with Mark Ruffalo.

Yeah.

And only because it's like, I was like, I'm in the mood to watch an 80s period drama.

Did he get AIDS?

That was the first thing that came into my mind.

Yeah, he did.

It's method.

But there's a scene where he's having missionary-style sex with...

The man?

Yeah, with the man, which, like, you know, I mean, it's pretty graphic because it's basically like softcore pornography, the sex scenes.

Awesome.

Do you see his cock?

No, you don't.

That's why I mean it's softcore.

But like...

But not even soft?

The implication, like two guys fucking on camera, but like one of them is behind the other one.

My mind's not doing any work.

There's no like gestalt there where it's filling in the rest of it.

But two of the missionary, you got to like

figure out the physics of it.

You have to do the map.

It's like, well, how did Building 7 come down?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And your sleeves closed.

The guy's, the bottom's cock is drooping.

Yeah, it's just fucking like Snoopy on the doghouse.

Honestly.

Sitting over the other guy's.

Honestly, I think that's romantic.

Yeah, of course you do.

I think two fellas having heterosexual sex with each other is incredibly romantic.

So you approve of gay guys going missionary.

Adam, do you also approve of the Ridge wallet?

Oh, really?

I do.

Nuh-uh.

Wow.

This is fun.

All right.

Huh?

Give me a beer real dude.

What the fuck?

Stop getting your beer, man.

What the hell?

Why?

I was about to get up and get a beer.

Well, now you're about to do your job.

Okay.

What?

You know, you did it.

See, here's the thing.

It's not that I'm against getting you a beer, but you did it silently as if it's my job, as if I forgot to get you.

No, I didn't want to order you around in public.

Well, now Guess who's getting his own beer.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll do it after the Ridge Wallet.

So, Ridge Wallet is an exciting.

And by the way, you're drinking it.

You're drinking at 10 a.m.

on this December day.

Listen.

That's crazy.

As we all know.

The death of my girlfriend was hard.

While I tried to Lenny my way into learning how to...

Because I feel like I'm going to have to learn at some point because eventually the pills are going to stop working, right?

Dick pills?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, they got to.

All medicine stops working.

Well, you got to go on a break and then you got to cycle on the different one.

Yeah.

You got to go from Miagara to see Alice.

Yeah.

It's like going from steroids to HGH.

It's a real crisis, you know.

Like some people are like, oh, I'm 30.

I don't know how to build a deck or whatever.

Right.

Yeah.

I don't have a fucking shoulder.

I have a shoulder injury.

I've never aggravated.

Right.

I didn't even know the shoulder was supposed to be involved.

Yeah.

I thought it was all like wrist.

I'm pretending.

I can get away with that.

You know what I do?

I clearly do that.

That's what I do when the shoulder locks up.

I'm on wrist.

I imagine I'm reorganizing files on my desktop upside down.

And you got to get both.

Yeah.

You can go.

So when the shoulder goes, I go wrist, but then, and then you, if you really need to, you can go finger.

And then sometimes I go

the whole body.

Yeah.

I barely have room for my fucking peanut head and my hand.

It's tough.

You have like a full-size, huge head, ag fair competition, pumpkin size.

Huge head.

I got titties and arm fat that gets in the way and a fucked-up shoulder.

And still I rot.

And nevertheless, fucking like a champ.

Nevertheless, he persisted.

Very impressive.

Thank you.

Yeah.

That's more impressive than anything.

And I think about Elizabeth Warren when I'm doing anything that Artie was.

Or whoever it was.

Yeah.

Who was the one who did it?

Was it Hillary?

Yeah.

Because she lost like a

bird.

Was it really about her?

Yeah, she per I don't know.

Anyway, father and son team Daniel and Paul Kane launched the Ridge wallet on Kickstarter in 2013, and now it sits in the front pockets of men,

of over a million men and women worldwide.

That's honestly really impressive.

Front pocket, that's kind of a million.

Yeah.

The two have since recruited a small, close-knit team to execute on their vision.

of creating quality and functional products.

At Ridge, we're part of the Ridge world.

The three of us are on the payroll.

We prefer to do more with less.

It's not just a remark on resourcefulness.

It's a call to maximize your life by minimizing what you bring along.

Because you don't need everything to be prepared for anything.

We're streamlining daily life through quality products, redefining the everyday essentials like wallets, backpacks, and chargers with minimalist designs that don't sacrifice function.

By eliminating excess and building a performance grade, we turn the items you carry every day into tools for better living.

Oh, yeah.

Carry less, live, moss.

Live moss.

Suck more.

Carry less, suck more.

Anyway, with the promo code.

Come town or come town.

I think it's come town.

Why don't you go put some in the cart?

Pretend you're shopping on the website and walk us through it.

Yeah, buy the rich.

I'm going to go to the best sellers because

I don't like leaving the crowd.

No, I like being just

a face.

Sure.

I'm going to buy the 18-carat gold-plated $225 Ridge wallet.

Please do.

I'm going to add that to the cart.

Yup.

And by the way, while Adam's doing it.

I'm going to check out.

Folks, remember to get your Stoppy Baby 2022 calendars that are now for sale.

Yes.

And the code is...

Do you have a December, after all?

Come town.

One word or two?

Let's find out.

Come town.

Do you want to integrate stores?

I could probably, because I have to switch over to a bigger company.

And that saved me.

Yeah.

That saved me a

really amazing website anyway.

So it's the promo code is Come Town, and I got a big discount.

I won't say what it is.

You guys can find that out when you're buying.

Tell them what it is.

How much money did you say?

$23.

That's a lot of money.

That's real money.

That's real money.

That's real money.

That's a romantic evening with your lover.

That's a lot of fucking Scottish.

Anyway, so go to ridgewall.com, put in promo code COMETOWN.

Tell them about the bags.

The bags are fantastic.

The bags are great.

Yeah, I'd love to know more about the bags.

I can only, of course, so they have a commuter bag.

Are you taking it in the rain?

Because they're waterproof.

I can only speak to the small bag.

I'd love to speak to the larger backpack or even

the duffel bag.

But unfortunately, my expertise is only with the little bag, and it's very good.

The backpack is waterproof.

I had used it in the rain several times, and I was like, this thing's great, it's waterproof.

Got home, a book I had was soaking wet.

Well, and I can't open it.

But that is the bag open.

I left it open.

Yeah, you left it over.

But I was pissed for a moment there.

You were like, fuck Daniel and Paul Kane.

And then when I realized it was my fault, I was even more mad.

Right.

Yeah.

And fuck my humiliating.

I'm going to go to the HQ and kill them and then kill me.

Yep.

Which was a parody.

Parody.

Parody.

On Minecraft.

Anyway, so check out Ridgewall.

The bags, the products are fantastic.

They have a slot for a charger, and you can slide the cord through the backpack.

I don't know.

Walk around like you have a corded phone.

Isn't that cool?

That's so cool.

We walk around with these cell phones.

And it's like, who's in charge of who's

in charge of what?

Yeah.

Who's controlling who?

Yeah, exactly.

Are we controlling the phone?

Well, it's just

the phone controlling us.

That's a good question.

But when you have it corded, it feels like the old phone.

It feels like the old phone when we were the masters.

The old phones.

Right.

When guys were guys

and chips knew their fucking place.

Right.

Do you want the duffel bag for real?

I'll take it.

Don't fold on.

It's been longer.

It's become more of a meme.

I had a use for it and I don't agree.

It's become more of a meme.

You want to know what the use was?

What was that?

Remember when we got all those baseballs to do home run derby?

Did you bring the baseballs?

I didn't.

Come on.

But that's what I brought my glove.

That was holding all of the baseballs.

And then what did you do with the baseballs?

I'm going to get rid of them.

You're going to get rid of them?

Yeah, we're not going back out there.

Battered women's shelter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys were going to do home run derby?

We went last fall with Matt and Will.

Nice.

And then most of it was fishing balls out of the puddle.

Yeah, Prospect Park.

Yeah, which ended up for me

more fun.

Than hidden dingers?

Yeah, because I had to figure out a system.

We had logs.

Yeah, big puddles.

Yeah.

Destroyed a pair of shoes.

Who had the best, who hit the most dingers?

Oh, I was just going yard.

Long dingers.

It was you?

You were the best one?

Bat flips.

Korean style.

Who was it?

You, Matt, who?

No, Matt was just

head and shoulders above it.

Really?

No.

That would have been shocking.

Yeah.

Was it Nick?

No, it was probably pretty even even between me and him.

No one did well.

No, no, we're not.

I don't expect any of the four people listed to be good.

Yeah.

And then I fucked up my elbow just throwing the ball.

Yeah.

It's tough.

Dude, it's wild how your joints.

They're gone.

Yeah.

They're immediately gone.

They learn how to do like the five things you do.

Yep.

And then even still with that, you're going to fuck it.

Your heel pop out of nowhere.

A day you're feeling good.

Yeah.

It'll just pop.

I feel like if I reversed the hinges on my refrigerator, I'd have to go to the hospital.

Just it opened on the left.

It's a novelty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It would break my

entire.

Oh, yeah.

My body's garbage, and being on the road every weekend is not helping.

But

once the Prince of Pleasure tour of the pleasure continues, once that's over in about June, and by the way, we're coming to a lot of places.

Just keep your eyes peeled, folks.

I'm trying to go everywhere.

Once that's over, I think I'm going to do another health retreat where I just

disappear for like three months.

You know where you should do a show?

At a maximum security penitentiary.

I'll roast them.

You'll do crowd work?

I'll do crowd work.

With hardened criminals.

I want to do steady-rost stuff.

You know what I want to do is I want to take a stab at the Chappelle stuff.

Yes.

Because I think I can be the...

I'm going to be the guy.

Well, you need a jacket that says mullen on it.

That has the M.

You need an M logo.

Oh, he does wear a lot of Chappelle branded stuff all the time.

Yeah.

That's a tough look.

Yeah, you can.

Did you watch the special?

I didn't actually.

No, I didn't watch it.

I'll watch it now if you guys want.

Yeah, let's watch it tonight.

I don't want to watch Sandu.

Well, we'll watch it until we turn.

It'll barely be stand-up.

We'll watch it for like four minutes.

But I'll be interested.

Yeah, well, let's watch.

Fine.

You know what I got back into the other night?

Is Pablo Francisco?

Hell yeah.

Best comic.

Dude.

It's just so good.

Look, the first time the Inner World bit dropped,

Tortilla Boy, dude.

That was my favorite Santa boy when I was like 12.

Comedy used to be so much better.

Absolutely.

It's really, it's fun.

Like even, you know, like the guys that are like, you know, I guess our age, but,

you know, they're like sharp, they're in their prime or whatever.

Yeah.

Very funny guys.

Your Soders, your, yeah, Soders, Shane, yeah.

Even like Tim.

Sam, yeah.

Yep.

It's still, it feels like...

They're where they are because there's a vacuum because like.

Pablo Francisco's not doing work.

Well, I feel like in total, comedy was better fucking 20 years ago.

Well, I think those guys are, I think there would just be more and varied acts with them.

Well, that's what I mean.

They're the like guy, they're the because that style of stand-up was around in that generation.

We're missing,

we're missing like guys who just are, yeah, do voices, do like artists, theatrical,

Cat Williams, you know what I'm saying?

Like, and you got to think, is it because I'm like old?

Could be.

Would somebody that's like 18 watch the Pablo Francisco tortilla boy thing and say this is the worst shit I've ever seen?

I don't know.

I feel like that might translate even more than like

really, really good stand-up of its age.

I feel like as much as I love stand-up, I think it doesn't hold up for the most part.

I'm way more down to watch his presents than the Chappelle thing after this.

Okay.

I think I remember every bit.

I watched it so many times as a kid.

Well, I don't know how we're going to watch it.

YouTube, dudes.

Yeah, it's on YouTube.

Yeah.

Nice.

What are you doing?

You done?

No, I'm not done.

You getting a beer?

No, I got my beer.

Oh, you did get your beer?

Yeah, yeah.

Drinking beer.

That's another thing that used to be great.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, man.

Maybe it's time.

It might be.

I was thinking, you know what?

We do a Europe, a final European tour.

Yeah, yeah.

Or we just go to vacation in Europe.

That's our swan song.

Well, what I wanted to do is...

There's that, you know, those like

monk beers, the Trappist beers yes yeah there's one there's a brewery you have to like ride a bicycle to because they only sell the beer the fat tire brewery no because they have the bike on the that's that's true they do have a bike so it's like getting exercise yeah

but there's one you have to in belgium you have to ride a you're going to relapse there yes you know what i wish i support that because that That took a lot of effort to get there.

You had a hundred times to change your mind.

But here's the best part.

You have to drive when you leave.

You have your car shipped there.

Yeah.

You have to soberly ride a bike.

We have to drive through very narrow roads.

That's awesome to be a monk, to be a guy in just like a Franciscan robe.

Yeah.

And you're just making beer all day.

They're still doing that?

Yeah.

That's pretty chill.

You can see why, like, you know, whatever this,

I guess, like, atavistic trend of wanting to be like a

clergy member from 600 years ago.

I don't know what that word means.

What clergy member?

Attached.

Atavistic.

Like something that's like gay?

Well, like

gay and fucking

annoying people want to do it.

No, I know what that word means.

You know, like a super throwback.

You know?

Like

retro.

Yeah, that's what I could get into.

If you were like, oh, it's my...

Racial duty to make beer in a church all day.

Yeah, yeah, I get that.

That's the one.

Like, all these kids pretending to be Catholic is fucking so annoying.

But if you threw it back to, like, yo, we're just hanging out with the fellas.

We're going to cut the middle of our hair off.

I love that.

Yeah.

Just look bald, yama.

And we're just going to say, fuck getting pussy.

It's just the fellas, and we're going to chant.

And get fucked up all day.

Just chilling with a pussy.

All my clothes on with a robe.

That sounds...

That is the first religion that.

But for not getting pussy ever.

Yeah.

Also, didn't the guy who did

the guy who did genetics, wasn't he a monk?

I don't know.

Darwin?

No, what the fuck was his name?

He did like X.

He did alleles.

He figured out alleles.

Oh, shit.

The fuck was his name?

Meng.

No.

Mengela.

Al Leal.

Mendel.

It was Mendel.

Oh, Mendel.

I remember that name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think he was a monk.

So you can even do little science projects, basically, is what I'm saying.

Yeah.

If you could just get pussy like every three weeks, then I'm in.

Just to clear your look.

Just to clear your head.

Yeah.

You're not allowed to jack it either.

You can jack it.

Come on.

In your chambers.

In your fucking chambers.

You're going to stop.

On your wooden bed.

Bed made about a battle.

Yeah, I'm going to need, you know what?

I'm going to need a good mattress, too.

Oh, do they sleep on like...

If we just

aesthetic.

If we just sprinkle a little bit of modernity into this.

And I basically mean just, I'm going to need the Helix mattress plus size.

It sounds like what you want is just a robe.

You can just get that and continue.

You can just get that for your apartment.

Yeah.

That's all you really need.

You're right.

I still do stand-up.

You're actually right.

I live with one of my best friends.

I just hang out all day.

You're right.

I just want a robe.

Yeah, your life is better.

My life is so, yeah, it's pretty sick, honestly.

Yeah, that's great.

If I didn't have to, if I wasn't on the fucking road so much, but that's my dumbass choice.

I'm just going to stop doing comedy.

Yeah, that's it.

That's all I meant.

It's quit my job and fucking hang out.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm not going to fucking make beer.

Fuck that, dude.

I'm going to live in my apartment.

I'm going to play the World Station.

Those monks are probably like IPA monks.

Yeah, and I'm going to

do what I want.

Fuck you.

I'm going to try my

homebrew.

That's actually a stupid thing to watch.

Yeah, fuck them.

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, so we're going to watch Pablo Francisco.

Yeah.

Cab Williams.

Make some popcorn.

Yeah, Yeah, I do want to, I guess, watch some of that Chappelle.

I want to watch it, too.

So we can just actually tell Adam to suck our cocktails.

So afterwards,

I don't care.

I'm a team player.

I said this already.

Who's angry in the right way?

Yeah.

Did anyone like it?

Was anyone like, this is good?

I think some people do.

Comics, though?

I haven't asked.

Yeah.

I wonder if people said it was good.

I think.

I think most of it is just

like kind of

Chappelle gets a pass because because he's a legend, more than the special was good.

Yeah, I agree.

Is what I think.

But I wasn't even really paying that much attention.

And what's the story at the end?

There's a trans person he knows who killed himself.

I don't know if that was the last.

See, that's the other thing.

Even if this was a good special, he's been talking about trans people for like three in a row.

Maybe a little fixation.

To be fair, though, everyone talks about trans people.

Except for Eddie Murphy, who sucked one of the people.

No, I mean, he loves to give them a ride.

I mean, you would get,

if you were only on social media, which is probably what the problem is, he probably just looks at social media all day.

Which is crazy.

You would get the impression that that's the only conversation.

I guess, yeah.

But I mean,

plenty of stand-up specials don't fucking have to talk about that.

Name one special in the last year that hasn't entirely been about trans people.

Cat Williams did a full trans people special.

Yeah.

It was tremendous.

Yeah.

Monumental.

I would love to see that, actually.

Yeah.

So fun.

Yeah.

He would really knock that out of the place.

That would be awesome.

I feel like he still hasn't found out about them.

Nah, he knows.

But once he does, he knows.

Yeah, how would he not know?

He's from Atlanta, dude.

He's fighting kids.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, you're right.

It's a pretty gay place.

Atlanta?

It's a pretty LGBTQ place.

I would spend much time there.

It's nice.

I love Atlanta.

Really?

Hot Atlanta.

Yeah.

They got good fucking restaurants, bro.

Do they?

I don't know.

I think I'm actually going to be there as well

in March, maybe.

I don't know.

Stay tuned, folks, to these podcasts that are recording live.

Back in New York.

It's so good to be back in New York.

It's so good.

It feels good, yeah.

And we apologize for the 9-11 2 has already happened.

We don't have to

fudge our pearls about it.

And this time the Jews admitted it was them.

This time we kept it real.

I warned you.

What's going on with there's like new JFK stuff

that

declassified or what did they say?

That Oswald, I think some guy said that he, a guy that was in like part of the CIA's anti-Cuba thing, where they got like

Cubans, like rich Cubans

to fight again for the Bay of Pigs shit.

I think a guy like that claimed that Oswalt trained with him in Guatemala.

And what does that mean?

Because the CIA did that.

Oh, the CIA.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I thought we knew that or something.

I don't fucking know, dude.

Yeah, they're never going to.

It's not fucking cares.

They got away with it.

It would be funny if eventually, like five years, they're like, okay, we did it.

That would be awesome.

Yeah.

Everyone's dead.

Here's why I think they did it for sure.

Have you seen a video of LBJ when he's old and he grew his hair out?

No.

That's the kind of man that went insane from guilt and just grew his shit out.

You think so?

I think so.

Maybe he was transgender.

Maybe.

Early.

He had a big cock.

He probably could have made him a nice clit with that thing.

Yeah.

But webcamming didn't exist back then.

Yeah.

So there was nothing.

So that's why he went crazy.

Yeah.

You had to wait until Chatterbait existed.

Yep.

Well, sorry again, again, folks.

That's uh

okay.