Ep. 287 – remember when we went to japan lol

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Okay,

switch it up.

Switch the pussy.

287.

And guess who is late?

Late again.

Late again.

I don't even.

I went to the bathroom, so I thought he was.

Yeah, I don't know where the fuck Adam went.

He needs

dresses on DP.

He is looking for vintage fucking,

I don't know, styles addresses.

Pencil skirt.

I need to learn more about dresses, I just realized.

You know,

I should take an interest in what bitches.

You don't have a good repertoire?

I don't.

Because I like, you know, just for making jokes, even.

Most of jokes is knowing things and saying them at the right time.

Exactly.

And that's what...

No, no, no.

Don't want like we're the assholes.

You know what you we said?

1150.

11.50 at the latest.

At the latest.

And then what did you do?

Disappeared yet again.

Yeah.

Late for two out of three.

Or three out of four?

How many were there?

Out of four, I believe.

Late for three out of four episodes.

In a place we're all in the same house.

What were you up to?

I took my second shit of the day.

I haven't even done one.

I just got to be honest.

You know what?

You know what the problem is?

I come up here and we eat like shit.

Yep.

And I think, like, oh, that's the food.

But really, what it is, a lack of water that gets me.

I get fucking dehydrated.

Yeah.

And I can't, I can't, I still haven't learned the difference between hunger and thirst.

Sure.

So I eat more.

Right.

When you're thirsty?

And it drives me out.

Yeah.

Smart.

That's why at home I drink like I drink like four liters of water a day.

That's

the metric system.

That's wrong.

No, it seems to work well for me.

What do you mean apparently it's wrong?

If you overhydrate, you piss out all your nutrients and shit.

They just changed.

Didn't the lying fake news New York Times try to

cancel drinking water?

I drink when I'm thirsty.

You say just drink when you're thirsty.

You don't eat eight cups a day.

Yeah, well, I drink when I'm thirsty.

You do, you do.

You feel so much better when you have a whole

cup.

I feel.

I never go by a cup.

You know, the Essentia, the big Essentia bottles?

Yeah.

So I drink three of those a day.

Those are like a liter and a half.

Yeah, so two of them is three, and then three of them is 4.5.

It's water for hot girls.

Essentia?

Yeah.

What are you trying to do?

Misgender me?

No, you're.

You also drink essentia.

Yeah, because I'm trying to attract.

I'm a fucking piece of shit.

Why?

You don't have to.

Yeah, I say, oh, I drink essentials.

I think hyperlink water.

I drink that water.

For a while, it was.

Eldous drinks that water.

He is hot.

He loves that water.

Pete loves that water, my friend Pete.

I sent you a picture of my penis.

I say that.

Every time I pull that bottle out of the fridge, I say that.

Hey, I sent you a picture of my penis, and I didn't hear back.

Can I get a receipt?

Just tell me, ballpark.

What did you think?

It was good or it was bad, my cock,

after I sent you the picture of my penis.

Received with thanks.

That'd be a funny response to a nude.

Received with thanks.

Received with thanks.

What is your go-to response when you get a nude?

I do the double-tap haha on it.

The question mark.

I did the question mark.

You call these titties?

Did you meant to send this to a doctor?

No one's ever sent me nudes.

You're lying.

No, never.

You're so full of shit.

No, so if if you're out there and you're here.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, nice move.

I respect it, actually.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just a classic style.

I've actually never in my life.

I actually have never gotten them either now that I remember.

I've gotten too many.

Stop sending them to Adam.

Start sending them to me

on this beautiful Thanksgiving Eve.

This is Wednesday.

Wow, Thanksgiving Eve.

That's kind of the whole family's gotten back together.

Thanksgiving Eve is the tradition.

What I hear is the biggest bar night of the year.

Oh, you go back home.

You go back home, try and get pussy pussy from the girl from high school.

She's married.

You're like, please.

The Nicolas Sparks kind of vibe.

Please, I need this.

Getting pussy on Thanksgiving by Nicholas Sparks.

Yeah, yeah.

Have you ever gotten some hometown pussy on Thanksgiving, Adam?

Seems like a move.

I never had a pussy relationship with the hometown.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

You go back.

Yeah.

And it's time to get pussy.

No.

No.

I never went on pussy expeditions back home.

Yeah, I never, honestly, I've only gone out on Thanksgiving, Eve, like maybe twice.

I was always doing shows.

That's what it was.

I always took it as an opportunity to do shows and see your friends.

I don't think I've ever gone home for Thanksgiving.

If I go to Thanksgiving, I go to my aunt's house.

She's got a nice big house up in Westchester.

Oh, that's nice.

That's the spot.

That is a nice spot.

Yeah, and I don't think I can do it.

I might have to stop going.

Why?

Well, because I have no self-control.

Same thing as this shit here.

Right.

And, like, I don't know, in the last couple of years on Thanksgiving, I can't help myself.

You do sniz with your family?

Well, I eat too much.

Oh, yeah.

But the last year, it was last year or the year before that, like, someone made, like my cousin's, like, fiancé made, like, salted caramel or these like candied pecans.

And I ate so many of them that I was like, I mean, I could feel like my blood sugar getting fucked up.

I was like dizzy.

And like my joints hurt and my head hurt.

And it was like, I had to drink.

You were getting inflammation.

No, literally, I was having trouble thinking and my heart was like, it was like, you know when your heart gets bogged down, a great feeling beat and I just still could not stop myself.

Yeah, hell yeah.

It's like I don't like you're like

crawling through the desert.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're just making it worse, just eating sand

or drinking salt water on a lifeboat.

Yeah, hell yeah.

No, dude, I love, but that's what Thanksgiving is for.

You got to fucking stuff your shit.

I can't do it, man.

Even now, just having like those pretzels, which I shouldn't have bought.

That's on me.

It is.

The peanut butter-filled pretzels.

I respect it, though.

I'm getting chest pains and shit.

Shout out to the big Y.

Yeah.

In where are we?

Great Barrington.

Great Barrington.

G-A-Y.

G-A-Y.

Big G-A-Y.

What does that mean, the Big Y?

I don't know.

What does any supermarket name mean?

Key Food is a foods.

Giant.

I played Seatown.

That's always funny to see.

Yeah.

They're taking our branding.

Yeah.

Fuck, yeah.

I don't know.

But we had a nice little burger lunch here.

You know what?

And we'll say it.

Kudos to Adam.

Did you see Michael Jordan got arrested for child pornography?

No, he didn't.

Yeah.

Well, I think I heard somebody say that at a gas station.

Really?

Yeah.

I think I heard somebody.

What kind of child pornography?

I don't know, man.

My ear was burning.

And then I left.

You think it was Michael Jordan, the best basketball player of his generation?

That's one of the words.

Arguably all time.

That's one of the words on the street.

That's really a question, Stav, that no one asks after you hear the term child pornography.

You never be like, oh, is it two chicks?

Or

no one's like, oh, is it, oh, it's, oh, yeah, not into gay.

What style of child pedophile is he?

Like, there's that norm joke where he's like,

it is funny to imagine child pornography, and it's a little boy knocking on a door and he's got like a pizza.

And there's like a little girl that's like, our TV isn't working either.

Yeah.

And he's like,

you got to mess around with the wires.

A little sausage pizza.

Little

aposta.

A little sausage pizza.

This is a little hairless dick coming through a personal pan pizza.

Driving like power wheels around and getting his dick suck over.

Your honor, we were making cute points.

It was cute.

It was cute for kids.

What do you want these kids to jack off to?

Full-grown adults?

No.

technically every the director was 16.

we had nothing we just we were just the producers smash kosh we only

smash kosh bang trike

bang tricycle

it's got to be a little power reel

you're right

yeah yeah yeah he's yeah

one to get want to make some lollipops

it looks like you need a ride that was like the ultimate toy when i was dude my my shit got stolen.

I had one for three days.

I would always see kids on Christmas just looking out the window at these happy kids.

Dude, my shit.

Damn, I want a car so bad.

I had the red fucking convertible, bro.

It was the best day.

I wanted it on her age, too.

And it got stolen immediately.

My cousin

Baltimore in like 19.

It was like Baltimore in 1996.

It was like when Greektown was like dog shit.

Before they came in and were just like, all right.

They stole kids' toys.

They literally did.

But there was like a Greek,

this Greek guy was like the acting

commissioner for like six months.

There's no garage or whatever.

I've been here.

Yeah, yeah.

We have like a little Shiro house.

Yeah, yeah.

And my dad just left it out for like 20 minutes.

Gone immediately.

So I was so fucking sad, dude.

I'm still actually, I'm actually kind of sad.

So it's like two weeks later, you just see like a fully grown black man driving to work.

No, it's mock off.

He's got license plates.

He's got Texas auction plates on the back.

I got the registration.

Yeah, dude.

No,

that was the fucking absolute Cadillac of presence.

And then after that,

and then one time my dad fucking,

he would get shit all the time randomly because he had like the big, he had like a big warehouse where he did, you know, his carpentry.

His workshop was gigantic.

It was too big, actually.

He's fucking stupid for keeping his overhead so high.

But people would like, when they wanted to get rid of.

He was like a finished carpenter, right?

He'd do like cabinetry and stuff.

He'd do cabinets, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cabinets and table, whatever, yeah, whatever.

But yeah,

whatever you needed, though.

But yeah, he was, he was, I mean, he's a really good carpenter.

I will, I gotta give him credit for that.

But so one time when people get rid of big things and they had nowhere to go, they'd be like a ping pong table or like a.

They just put it in the shop.

They'd put it in the shop.

And one time he got a Pac-Man.

And we had

a cabinet.

And he'd put it home, and it was like, dude, this rocks.

Yeah, I don't really fuck with arcade games.

The only one I would ever really want maybe is like Time Crisis 3.

Yeah.

But if I could have any one just to have in my house is the Jurassic Park game, a little curtain that you sit in.

Yeah, yeah.

Jurassic Park.

That's like

Columbus.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's just awesome, dude.

And let's talk cabinets in a second.

I want to finish the story here about my dad and what a piece of shit he was.

So the Pac-Man thing, and then I get home one day, and I'm like, Pac-Man's gone.

And I'm like, what happened?

He's like, oh, it's broken.

We're going to take it it to a guy to fix it he lied and and and then he's like dude we couldn't it would be too expensive and I got it I was like all right well I was sad but I was like okay and then we go to his friend's house one time and he has it and it's just there and he clearly just like gave it to his friend or sold it to him or some shit and it was and it was just like and I had to just look at it and be like are you fucking are you and he didn't even prepare me it's clearly the same one and I'm just like did the friend have a kid he had a fucking older kid he had like this big fat fucking, like, half American, half

something going on.

Black?

Huh?

What do you mean, something going on?

Just like a fucking loser.

He was a DDR.

He wasn't autistic, but he was like a fucking loser.

And he was, like, I was at the time, me and my holders.

Oh, no, there's nothing wrong with.

I was 10 and 8.

He was good at DDR.

He was like a competitive DDR.

Like a fat,

like a fat, chubby, like, just fucking nerd who was

on the, he was on the cutting edge of that, the bleeding edge of those guys.

Before he, in fact, he was the first topic.

I'll tell you, though,

being fat, DDR is a great cheap exercise.

He stayed fat the whole time.

Most of those guys do.

Yeah.

But anyway, this guy was like, at the time, maybe 14 or 16, and I was 10, and my brothers were 8.

And it was like, we are so much more in the Pac-Man range for enjoying it.

And my dad, he would do that shit all the time.

He gave away a ping-pong table.

And we're like, oh, we love, me and my brothers loved ping-pong.

And we would go, it was like, we would see my dad would go.

He had like an extra little zone of the shop, and he just gave it to a friend.

He was just like,

he wanted adult male friends more than he wanted his sons to have a good time.

Yeah, he was trying to buy a bunch of people.

He was a people pleaser, for real.

My dad was like a fucking, like

the way a little kid's like, yeah, whatever you guys want.

But let's talk

fucking cabinets.

Jurassic Park, awesome.

Yeah.

Simpsons, of course.

Yeah, the kids.

I don't really like the Simpsons game.

You don't like The Simpsons game?

No.

It's very easy.

It's boring.

Yeah, it's fucking...

It was one of the easier games.

Wow, you switched up.

Rampage?

No, that shit's cool.

Rampage was fucking sick, dude.

Rampage was the dynamo.

Honestly,

Time Crisis was the...

Anytime I went to a bowling alley and they had Time Crisis,

fuck yeah.

Yeah, I would like to get into the story, too.

Like Mad Dog kidnapped Rachel.

Yeah, yeah.

That's all I really remember of it.

I was never good enough at those games.

I would die immediately at Time Crisis.

Time Crisis is fucking...

the mechanics of it were great.

They're like pedal to hide.

Yeah, it was cool, but I just sucked dick at all shooting games.

That's not my fucking cup of tea.

I don't think I was good at a single arcade game now that I think about it.

I just recently played Big Buck Hunter in a bar.

Yeah.

A classic move.

But I'm bad at that shit.

I was bad at the little NES when you had the little duck.

The duck hunter one.

Yeah, yeah.

You got to be a quick draw.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would do the move obviously.

Cowboy.

You would stand right next to you.

You stand right at the TV.

Yeah.

You just hit it right in the fucking head.

Damn, we should go shoot guns this week.

Let's do it.

There's got to be a gun.

I think I saw a gun club somewhere here.

Yeah.

But do you have to be a member to shoot guns?

You might have.

They might do that thing where they make you join or something.

It was weird.

I remember being in Asheville, North Carolina, like years ago.

And I don't know what their law is or how it works, but they don't have bars.

You have to go to like a social club, so you have to have a membership to a social club to drink at certain places.

In Asheville?

Yeah, or it may have been because we were doing a a show there or something.

But I just remember that the place we went to, like, I had to have a member vouch for me.

It was like a fucking VFW type of flavor.

There's no way it's every bar.

Yeah.

It's pretty fucking wild.

North Carolina rocks.

Yeah, dude.

The fucking hills.

Yeah.

Fucking the smoky hill.

No, is that Tennessee?

Yeah.

That's Tennessee.

Whatever, dude.

Who cares?

Who gives a fuck?

Fuck North Carolina.

North Carolina.

On second thought.

Yeah.

Fuck their little vinegary barbecue.

They got a little too big for their britches within the span of two sentences.

Fuck them.

Fuck Duke.

Fuck Mike Shaszewski.

Fuck Pete Pablo.

No, now you've gone too far.

North Carolina.

North Kakalaki.

North Carolina.

Come on.

I thought he was just naming places.

I didn't realize he was.

Take your shirt off.

I thought he was like a Tampa guy.

Well, he's only saying North Carolina in that song.

He's not saying any other places.

Let's see.

Let's find out.

I believe he is from.

It would make a lot of sense to him to be.

So if he is, then we Pete Pablo, you're exempt.

from Greenville.

Greenville, North Carolina.

Take your shirt off.

Yep.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Greenville.

Spin it like a halo cotton.

That's it.

It's like, is that the right colour?

You should use this by straight.

It's like a Greenland, Iceland.

You know?

Yeah, kind of a fake out.

Yeah, there's Blackland.

That's what they should call Africa.

They should call it Blackland.

Because you got England.

Right.

You got fucking Italian land.

Yep.

You got Chinese place.

You do have Chinese place.

Chinese place.

You got Japantown.

Japantown.

And then out of nowhere, Africa.

That sounds nothing like.

Now, granted, there's a country there.

They're on the right track.

Yep.

They're doing it.

Right, they're close.

There's one country.

And of course, we mean the Cote d'Ivoire.

Yeah.

Côte d'Ivoire.

Sounds awesome.

Yeah.

The Ivory Coast is a fucking sick name.

It is sick.

You just feel like there's ivory everywhere.

I kind of want to go.

I want to do a little Ghana trip.

It would be awesome to go to Africa.

Africa seems like it'd be awesome.

Absolutely.

I honestly really do like Nigerian people.

Anytime I meet them.

Oh, they're really cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, dude.

They got cool names.

Yeah.

Well, they're chill.

They're very chill.

They're very excited about everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They have that kind of entrepreneurial.

They love college.

They love fundamental

education.

Not in the way that.

You know how Persians are just, they're really into fucking.

They're like, you know, I'm starting a fucking cell phone, etc.

Nah, but you know, you know, Black BMW is.

Yeah, they're annoying, but there's a Nigerians are like,

I have a new con that I am doing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am now with Quickstar.

Yeah.

And it is a scam, but it is one you do with your friends.

It is about friendship, ultimately.

Whereas, like, yeah, Persians and fucking, they have that, like, just that Guido Greek.

Greek people have it, too, where it's, like, they want to prove they're the best.

They're better than everybody.

That's why they're doing it.

Whereas Nigerians seem like they're doing it for the love of the game.

Yeah, they're pure capitalists.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whereas Somalians.

I don't know about Somalians.

Pure libertarians.

Oh, yeah.

Well, pirates.

Yeah.

That's the most libertarian you can be is a pirate.

Because it's like the cra you're the world is fucking there's no rules, so but a fucking goat.

You're not living under a I'm gonna steal Tom Hanks's fucking estate and get pussy on it.

You're in international waters.

Listen to me.

I am a faggot now.

I am gay now.

I can't do it, Tom Hanks, but he'd probably be like, No, I'm gay.

Knock, knock.

Knock, I'm gay.

I'm gay.

I'm actually gay.

Go fuck yourself.

Go fuck my ass.

The Hanks man.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck, dude.

Tom Cranks.

Tom Cranks.

He's jacking off.

I'm beating off my penis.

Hello.

I'm trying to jack off in here.

I'm trying to jack off.

How does he talk?

I don't know.

On this road to perdition.

This road the penis.

Do you think he loves Chet?

Of course.

It's a single.

I think he's proud and loves him.

It's from a first marriage.

No, Chet.

Chet Hanks.

Oh, Chet.

Chet Hanks.

I thought you meant Jet Travolta.

No, he's Rita's kid.

Do you remember Jet Travolta?

He's not Rita.

Oh, no, you're right.

He's Rita's kid.

The other kid is from a different marriage.

Do you remember Jet Travolta?

I do remember.

He died on that island.

He died from being

cuckoo.

Oh, yeah.

Do you remember his mom?

Didn't know the difference between retarded and crazy.

Yeah, that guy's crazy.

That guy's real cuz.

That guy's insane.

That guy's crazy.

That dude is nuts.

He's a nut.

I saw him shitting his pain.

That's what

a lunatic does.

That guy is a lunatic.

That's wild.

Oh, yeah.

No, I think he loves him.

You're right.

He is Rita's kid.

So that means, you know what?

I just realized this.

Chet is Greek.

Oh, Chet's Greek.

Rita's Greek.

So now you like him?

I'm back in.

I'd like to read her her pussy, you know?

Yeah, like a book.

Flip those lips like a book.

Breaking news.

I'm sucking your big pussy hole.

I'm sucking your pussy.

It wouldn't be cool if you could read a pussy and every page was a guy that the lady fucked.

No.

That wouldn't be cool.

I'd like to know.

You'd like to know.

Yeah.

You don't need to know.

And then the more pages, the more guys she fucked.

So you know if she's, you know.

Yeah, but that's cool.

And look, I have nothing wrong with.

If my balls got every time I fucked, I got a wrinkle.

I would like that.

Every time you fucking fuck.

Yeah, like have a ring on a trigger.

Every time you fuck me in my Cushy Dreams, Adam hit it.

Yeah, Adam, don't you have something to tell the people?

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filming

of filming little sausage pizza.

That does sound very cute.

Like little sausage pizza sounds very cute.

Nothing takes the edge of the sideways

fitted hat.

Yeah, yeah.

Just a skew.

Yep.

Nothing takes the edge off like a nice pre-roll.

When you mean you don't have money for the pizza.

It's just an eight-year-old with like a huge dish.

Just got an adult's pizza, your honor.

An adult's penis, your honor.

This should be legal.

From a close-up, you couldn't tell.

It's got a little like lunchables pizza.

Yeah.

Yeah.

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And you know what?

Cannabinoids.

I love cannabinoids.

People talk about cannabinoids.

Yeah.

So I don't want to lose the cannabinoids.

Delta 9 mongoloid THC.

That's right, dude.

This is the same stuff that you're doing.

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They're smoking cushy dreams.

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So basically, here's the deal.

It's so funny calling CBD flour.

Like, it's already pretty fucking stupid calling weed flour.

Yeah.

And then when you start talking about CBD,

oh, fuck.

Anyway, I don't even understand why you get that, not just the pre-rolls.

Yeah, some people like to put it in a way,

like to mix and make a blend.

Oh, dude.

That's right.

And split.

So what are you supposed to do?

Like, cut down your

regular weeds?

I will say, no joke,

when I quit weed, because I did, because I was like, I'm smoking too much weed and i'm probably going to relapse on this cabbage royal because we're near a dispensary and we're going to get bored we're going to start doing drugs yeah there's no cell phone service up here so all you can do is get and like smoke weed and go to that burger place yeah which was good by the way it was good but

and we don't have cocaine this time right and well we're gonna we're gonna go re-watch

we have cocaine

we're gonna go re-watch the james bond movie which adam now insists that he said on the show oh yeah that's it.

We don't have to.

No, we do.

We do.

We do because Adam insists on the music.

No, no, no, we can talk about it on the show.

Let's just be a rare dub.

Let's just go ahead and finish the Cushy Dreams Add Adam.

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Wow.

And I don't know, it says in order of quality.

I don't know if private reserve or premium are.

You're going to have to smoke all three to find out, fellas.

Ultra premium is probably better than premium.

So private reserve would stand.

Yeah, I guess private reserve is the nicest one.

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And we're back.

And we're back.

And Adam lied about liking James Spawn.

Oh, yeah, that's true.

No,

I said that

he said on this show

that I loved the movie.

I literally said I cried at the end.

You said you loved.

Here's how we know he's lying: because he's going back and he's clinging on to one thing he said, which is you did say you got emotional.

Why would I cry at the end of a movie that I didn't like?

Because it was bad, but it was the end of a movie.

No,

it was the end of a chapter.

And endings make you sad.

Okay, listen.

And that's reasonable, by the way.

Let me catch this, Doug.

Goodbyes are sad.

Here's what I said.

And we were saying goodbye to

Daniel Craig.

I said that

the sort of nod towards wokeness by hiring a black lady at 007

backfired.

Yes.

Because she was bad at her job and then had to give her a bad thing.

I don't understand how you have the confidence to do this after

the breakfast sandwich fiasco no i'm i'm fine with that we listen nick to be fair we did bury the hatchet we buried the hatchet

okay fine then i don't know how you have the confidence to do this after the chaos yes yeah yes no no there's a you were one he's a done so honestly that one is that one is and you're you are so lucky it happened off the show but you're supposedly screaming no we can't come we can't it's too it's too bad you can't keep for at him like i don't it's i want to i'm throwing my body in front of this one thank you so much i can't Let me tell you this.

It requires your whole body.

Yeah, it does.

It's that bad of a thing.

It's so embarrassing.

I can't have Adam flagellated for this in public.

And just remember this, Adam.

I will always.

To be honest, but truth be told, I wouldn't say anything.

Right.

Even if you said I'm not, but just so that...

Just so everyone knows,

my only thing is I'm saying

the luck that you had that that because we were moments away.

No, we weren't.

And you weren't.

You are lucky.

After we did that.

You are lucky that didn't come out.

Anyway, yes, I said something.

Just so everyone knows.

I'm not embarrassing and humiliating to my boys.

And not only boys, and we were going to keep it between the boys.

Not only that, but Adam, he said, oh, I did something so embarrassing.

I said it.

I knew that.

Hold on, hold on.

And then Nick said, this is going to be like one of those things where you pretend it's embarrassing, but it's a brag.

But it is embarrassing.

It is embarrassing.

Objectively.

It is also a brag.

It is exactly what Nick said was going to happen to a fucking T.

It was unbelievable, actually.

I don't want to brag, but someone told me the other day that if Patrice O'Neill was alive, I'd be his favorite comedian.

Yeah, no, it wasn't even like that.

It wasn't even like, because that's not even embarrassing.

That's just a fucking gay thing to say.

It's like, oh, these like four girls, they want to have sex with me.

And we got back to their place, and I busted immediately.

Right, right, right.

Right, right, right.

That is the letdown.

But you should have seen it.

I mean, Adam, that is like Ray in.

Let's move on.

You're incapable of being a drink.

You're so in love on your wealth.

You're incapable of being able to

love me.

You don't know what fucking shame is.

Listen, Adam, you got a deal on the table from the DA, but your conduct is making him rethink it right now.

I'm signing this.

So let's move on.

I'm taking the plea, dude.

You're taking the plea.

I'm taking the plea.

I'm the only thing keeping him from you.

I wouldn't do it.

You can't do hard time, dude.

Here's Bill Flurry.

Here's the reason.

Here's the reason.

Because

he's getting flurried.

He's going to get very flat.

Here's why I wouldn't.

He's going to get flurried.

And I will.

Don't do it.

That's why I'm.

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

Don't call me.

I'm an edge dancer.

No, no, because very often

you claim to do that, and you just actually give it away.

I'm an edge dancer.

I know.

He does that all the time.

They play with matches.

He's going to set the house on fire now.

We're going to move on.

We're going to hear me out.

Okay, man.

The only reason I'm not saying anything is because I have the utmost faith in Adam that he will top that on the show.

That's true.

That is now

at some point.

Where are you going?

Where the fuck are you going?

He's just doing nothing.

He's literally doing nothing.

He's looking for a.

What is that?

It's a thermosphere.

A Yeti bottle, yeah.

It's a water bottle.

That is nice.

What did you spend on that?

$150?

I think it was $40.

And then it came with a form where they said you have to register it on their website.

I kind of wanted to get a lunchbox.

I was, you know,

I needed a lunchbox.

And I went to Dick's Sporting Goods and I looked at the Yeti lunch boxes.

$80.

Hysterical.

And it's like, what the fuck is that?

It's a fucking lunchbox.

I'll taste the cold.

Taste out cold.

That's a great bottle.

It's a great bottle.

I might have to get one.

Honestly, it's the best water bottle I've ever seen.

Anyway, and the poor,

excuse me, but we're shitting.

Excuse me.

And don't think that you got away from the James Bond conversation either.

Okay.

All I was saying was that...

I'll tell you exactly.

They tried to like...

Can I tell you exactly?

They tried to appeal to wokeness and then it backfired i'll tell you exactly what you said okay what did i say what you said this is exactly how what you said about the movie the opening was really good the opening scene is one of the quiet quiet opening was good yes your honor opening was good okay before i hold you in contempt you said the opening was good you said the end got you emotional because it was the end of james bond but that in the middle it was

quiet but in the middle it was with the bad no that's what you said when we talked no the Cuba and the Forest thing were really sick.

The two middle sections were.

Basically, what you said.

Oh, you're completely.

Basically, you said it was okay.

You did not say you loved it.

You did not say you loved it.

Why would I lie about really liking it?

Because Nick's not.

Why does you lie about reading chaos?

Exactly.

Thank you.

It's not different.

It's not different.

It doesn't make any difference.

It is a shitty beach read.

You know why, Adam?

The two people you're friends with read.

You know why?

Because of that fucking thing about the scorpion and the fucking frog.

You're a scorpion, motherfucker.

It doesn't make any sense.

The scorpion killed himself.

He stung the frog.

And that's you.

You fucking lie.

You lie for weird little reasons.

And that's one of the central things of your personality.

You really are just a constant liar.

And not for anything huge.

That's the other thing.

It usually is something stupid and inconsequential.

Because you're a good guy, but you love to lie.

So you get it out of your system with things that don't matter.

I bet Joe Rogan's really into chaos.

and I didn't want him, if he was listening, to think that I didn't read it.

Yeah, it's not even like an impressive deal.

Honestly, on the way up here, Maya was like, I told my

I told my friend about it.

Yeah, yeah, and put the timestamp on it.

No one knows your name.

I think I said it the other day.

And she's like, You should listen to the audiobook of chaos on the way up.

That would be funny.

They give a book report.

That would be funny.

You should have done that.

Anyway, for some reason,

since we last did the episode you have upgraded your belief that i didn't like james bond that that you didn't you you today you said you loved it and said it was a great movie from time from start no i said i said that the two movies that i've seen at the theater by us are dune and james bond i i liked both of them all you said you loved you said you now you're even now you're lying about the thing you said you said you're famous and that's the difference people say that no see this is i mean incredible

what's the difference between liked and loved

because what you said was it was okay and it was kind of shitty, but whatever.

It had a couple good parts.

And you upgraded that to love at the Burger Place.

Now you're trying to walk it back to like because like is closer.

I'm standing by love.

Is closer than what you said to me?

Having known you for a decade.

I'm standing by love.

Having known you for a decade now.

I'm going back to love.

I can tell you, I know my head immediately I heard that and I said,

Something's up.

Yes.

Why did you put male bullshit on me?

And then I'm going to be able to do it.

Adam, something happened.

No, no, no, I had the same reaction.

Something happened.

But my mind immediately goes to which one of our friends that you respect more

told you they love it.

That it was really good.

You had to retcon your opinion.

First of all, and I will say this.

I don't know why I respected

people that are in this room.

The only person I know that said that they loved the movie was Sean.

I didn't know Sean.

You told me that you saw him.

This is good.

This is a nice piece of evidence.

I didn't know that.

Hold on.

Did you see James Vaughn?

Because Because you claim you didn't know that guy.

I don't know the guy we're talking about here.

Sean.

Your friend Sean.

You claim that you don't know that he said that.

So all we have to prove now is that Sean told him that it was.

Call him right now.

Let's get him on the line.

And

that will, and you have hung yourself there.

I'm happy.

This is going to be a rare dub for me.

I'll say this.

I didn't think like Nick thought, right?

Nick, you're 100% correct about it.

All I know is that.

He's just a good cop.

That's all I know.

So Nick is going back to.

He's just a good cop.

Here's the thing.

Yeah, you're the seasoned detective.

I'm you on the force.

I heard love.

Something went wrong.

I was like, no, that's not what you said.

No, no, Nick is Denzel.

I was confused.

Yeah, yeah.

He's going to make you smoke cess.

That's true.

That's true.

That is me.

Yeah, that is me, Nick.

King Kong ain't got shit on you.

But I loved.

You just absolutely.

Look, here's what I'm willing to bet my life on.

You upgraded your opinion of No Time to Die since the time we talked about about it.

I guarantee you did that.

I probably said I loved the Burger Place.

I really had fun seeing it, and I enjoyed going to see it.

And is that a modifier of love?

You keep shifting around.

Adam,

you're like one of those watches that see-through, so the gears are all visible.

Why is this an interaction?

You shifted because you said it was weird.

What is it?

It was weird that you loved you, Bunny.

Yes, because you didn't say you loved it.

No.

You said it was just okay.

Here's the thing, Adam.

Maybe even that it was bad.

I don't remember.

You don't have opinions.

You have aesthetic choices that you make that reflect on you.

I have plenty of time.

So anytime you say you like or don't like something, it has nothing to do with your emotional relation to the underlying friend.

It only has to do with your emotional relationship to yourself.

Okay.

So

I can't vouch for that.

All I can say is

maybe a hyper.

I'm a husk.

No, you're a good person that cares about your friends.

No, I'm afraid.

You have good.

I absorb.

You do absorb.

You're definitely an absorber.

I absorb it.

You've seen it time after time.

Don't let me go back to the case of O'Brien versus Friedland, where you did it.

Here's the thing.

You did it with the next episode.

Adam.

He's the guy who wrote.

Adam genuinely enjoys his life, so he doesn't need to enjoy things.

There's a lot of things.

So it's really, there's not like a piece of art isn't going to elevate him out of the doldrums.

Come on.

You're insulting and complimenting.

I think you're taking it.

I think you're a little too extreme in your

characterization with a single bit of a piece of money.

But I think you're on to something.

It has any affection.

Frankly, no.

No.

And I will say this, Adam.

I think you 25% do and 75% don't.

I think Nick is right three-quarters of the time.

So I'm going to give you a more charitable reading on it.

But I do think he's on to something.

I'm capable of it.

No, you'll sit

You'll sit there and watch

Come and See, and you'll think, I'm going to be a guy that likes this movie.

What a beautiful day it is outside.

What do you mean that?

I'm going to have a piece of expensive toast.

That movie put me in a terrible mood.

No, it didn't.

Yes, it did.

It was.

Fucking that's one of the heaviest movies I've ever seen.

That's what you texted everyone you know to pay due respect after you saw it.

Yeah, that movie is heavy.

To let them know that you felt that way after watching the movie.

No, you felt that.

Probably during the first five minutes of the movie, you started texting.

Pretty slapping five minutes.

And a check

box was changed.

No, you're right.

You know what it is?

It's the way you used to do

reading for college class.

Where you're like, I need three things for discussion.

Three things.

And I'm not going to read the whole thing.

You read the intro.

You read the intro,

you go to a random part, you read the conclusion.

That's how you interact with art.

Because everything is about the discussion that you're going to have next time.

Not every.

I said 25, 75.

Mine might bump it to 40, 60, but it's more than

a lot of things that I love not

completely independent of social pressure.

Object to this.

Okay, that's true.

There are a lot, but there's more that you like because of social pressure.

Badass.

It is cool.

The hook, yeah.

Yeah, I get a lot of use out of that thing.

What do you use it for?

Stringing shoes.

Oh, that's good.

It's good for that.

Yeah, I'm surprised because I don't even know what it is, but it's had a lot of uses.

I've never actually

dude, I've said it before in the show, but like a girl I was dating got me a Swiss Army knife years ago, and I was like, what the fuck is this?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, it's like you're checking out somewhere and you're like, and I've now I have two of them.

You're a Swiss Army knife guy now, for sure.

I can't live without it.

How often I use a Swiss Army?

These are tools.

Yeah, it's a Swiss Army knife.

Respect.

This is like a chisel thing.

I think it's a screwdriver, Adam.

Let me see.

It's a flathead screwdriver.

Yeah.

smart how did you get the legs on the tv by the way i went into the family's garage and found a phillips head screwdriver ratcheting screwdriver very nicely done brother i love when it ratchets you the ratchet flat

yeah you feel like you're a union man i feel what i you know what i i've never been able to find what is a tool in the movie uh Ghost Dog Way the Samurai.

He's got one of those screwdrivers because he steals a license plate where it goes on the screw and you just push it in and out and it like the

lateral movement makes the thing spin so you can just do it real quick and it just pulls the he steals a license plate my dad had one of those because he had all these fucking tools yeah i never see one it was fun to fuck around with it the what's the advantage of that so you can steal license plate it's faster faster tight tight squeeze ratcheting screw tight squeeze if you can't like turn your shit pushed pushing is a lot easier than turning yeah i guess so yeah you get more leverage remind me talk about super organics all right nice don't forget to mention Super Organics, they have a Delta 8 product now that's on a different website that I forgot to call the guy back to get the name of the website.

It'll probably be linked.

You won't have it on next week's episode, but maybe the week after or the week after that, you might hear about it.

All right, so basically the URL is get superleaf.com slash.

That's an awesome place to start.

So let's start off with the URL.

This is is the Super Speciosa ad read.

That's what it says at the top.

Speciosa is pronounced speciosa.

You're getting honestly this is so fun because I talked to this guy on the phone recently and he was like, yeah, we're launching a Delta 8 thing.

And he's like, so.

What's delta 8?

Well, it's beautiful.

It's like a

legal technology.

It's basically weed.

Delta 9.

It's either delta 8 or delta 8.

But it's not like delta 9 is the one that's just weed.

And delta 8 is the one that's.

I've taken delta 8 edibles, it's weed.

Yeah.

It's 100% weed.

Yeah, that's what you say.

It's just one little thing is different.

I don't know what it is, bro, but you can buy it at Bodega's.

And when I was truly addicted to weed, in the early 10, because the beginning part of the tour, I was just getting so fucked up, and I needed massive amounts of edibles to get me.

Well, Super Specials, they told me they're changing the name of the company.

I still have no idea what the name of the company is.

It's not Super Special.

Well, which honestly I kind of like because it's sort of like an anti-branding sort of thing.

Which I like about it.

Well, it's not anti-branding, it's just

about the product.

It gives me like Asian market vibes, you know, where their companies are like, super good time, good luck, LLC, number one, big stuff, good guy.

Right, right.

Happy dragon.

Yep.

And it's the same product, and the next day you come back, and it's completely different.

Completely different.

But I'll tell you, I mean, look, it's drugs.

The important thing is

the URL is getsuperleaf.com slash combat.

Get Superleaf.

And hopefully they have a little web ring or something.

Remember those?

And then you can click on it.

What are those?

Used to be a thing.

Websites, they would be in web rings.

So the bottom of them, you could hit next, and it would take you to a completely different website.

Other links.

Other, like, you know, like we're going to do.

You would link to your friends.

To help your traffic.

That's when the internet was fun.

Yeah.

No.

I don't know if those days it was fun.

That's fun.

You just go to a new place, you don't even know what it is.

Yeah, you remember what was the website

that was like that where you just hit a button and take you to a random website?

I don't know.

I didn't have the internet back then.

Kratom gives you your whole body energy.

This was like 2011, 2012.

But for some people, it's like coffee for your cock.

I don't remember.

Wait, what kind of websites are we talking about?

I'm trying to remember the name.

It was a website that girls would use.

You click the button, it would just take you to some.

LetmeFuckStaff.com.

It would just take you to a random website.

Stumble upon.

Oh, yeah.

I remember that.

Oh, that was in the...

Oh, damn, you just fucking opened something up in my mind.

That was the Tumblr porn days.

Yeah.

Where you would, like, jack off the

Brazilian women.tumbler.com or fuck yeah black chick it was everything was fuck yeah something

you don't get that anymore I love that that was a great time into Tumblr yeah they took the porn off Tumblr the porn off dude that was a fucking awesome era oh dude you just transported me back in my house do this fucking gay ass read and let's fucking talk about jacking off

are you an aging millennial do you have new aches and pains kratom is great for pain relief if you hurt your back pull of muscle from all that fucking, unwind with a glass of kratom tea.

Yep.

If you're only jerking it and you develop a wrist injury and you need a little bit more push to get to come town, super speciosis kratom will get you there.

Kratom is the secret supplement that influencers don't want you to know about

influencers don't want you to know about.

Why are they hoarding it?

Why?

Are they hoarding it for themselves?

There should be a comma there.

Right.

Kratom is a great pre-workout.

It helps you write jokes.

I imagine this is why you, the listener, are so damn funny.

Kratom is a super leaf.

Its cousin coffee is just brown water.

That's right, you fucking pussy.

What do you drink coffee?

What do you drink fucking?

Hey, look at this.

This

over here, cousin coffee.

Cousin Coffee.

Cousin Coffee.

Let's give the over there the microphone.

Get motherfucking cousin coffee.

I would once again suggest that everyone tries kratom instead of my stinky brown water.

Right.

No one wants brown water.

Super speciosa's kratom is 100% all-natural.

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So

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That's getsuperleaf.com slash Cometown.

Promo code Cometown for 20% off.

Yes.

Got it.

And don't forget they're Delta 8 on some weird website.

And also come see me.

This is Thanksgiving, so I'm happy Thanksgiving.

I'm going to be in Los Angeles taping my special, and I'm probably going to have some LA area shows.

The special's probably sold out by now, but there's some LA area shows before and after that.

I'm also going to tape a special.

I didn't prepare for this at all special.

That'd be good.

And it's a straight-up hour of

the first time you do stand-up

and just tape it.

It would be fun.

One night only.

And it's called This Can't Be Any Shittier Than Anything All the

Women Are Putting in.

At least I'm Not a Woman.

At least I'm not some dumb live in Delaware.

At least I'm not a woman.

One time,

one of my best lines.

This is just a thing an old man says.

Yeah.

And I also want to say, come see me in Boston December 9th through the 11th.

Oh, I might do a Baltimore warm-up show.

Hopefully.

Hopefully, that's sold out.

But anyway.

We're at.

MNT Bank Stadium.

I just know a place that Umar hooked up that I did a show one time, and it was pretty good.

What's place?

I don't remember.

It's in some market somewhere.

Oh, okay.

They have like a little side room.

It's not like a good.

Baltimore has real fun venues.

Yeah, but this is more like just like a room that we're going to put a fucking speaker in.

Yeah.

It's not like a real nice venue.

I mean, it's a nice place, but it's not.

It's like they usually do weddings and shit.

What was the little thing?

What was the theaters connected to Club Charles?

Fucking Yellow Sign.

I loved Yellow Sign.

That's where me and Umar did our show.

Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

I used to love doing that show.

That was a great show, dude.

Yeah.

That was one of my highlights in comedy, doing that show.

Yeah.

Dude, Yellow Sign was fucking sick, actually.

Yeah.

Damn, I just.

Didn't you hang at the bar after?

That was a great show, dude.

Yeah.

We would hang out.

That was a fucking awesome night.

John Waters would be in there.

Getting head.

Yeah, he would be from some hot young guy.

Dude, shout out to him for not moving to New York like every other gay guy, just holding it down in his small town.

A little pencil gay guys.

Yeah, should I go back, dude?

John Waters stayed.

Yeah, he's going to be.

You could easily just move back and be a local celebrity.

You got enough money.

You should buy like

one of those old theaters.

Yeah, that would be sick.

And then just program it to have film festivals and also do a monthly show there.

Weekly, fuck it.

Who cares?

Yeah.

I really could.

how much do you want i wonder if you could buy like the senator theater and how much that would cost it's i had to i think it was sold recently because it used to be like the light the center is probably yeah that's true and so somebody must have bought it yeah there's probably a theater but that'll give you an idea of how much that shit costs

right

it's probably got like um

poison and stuff in it i mean i would buy a yellow sign that'd be sick but it's too it's kind of small it is small oh boys we got a rope swing at this place no don't look at that.

If you guys want to

push me on the swing later.

You wish.

Come on, dude.

Not going to happen, Chief.

Yeah, because the senator was renovated

probably like 10 years ago, right?

Yeah.

Oh, never mind.

It was like 2 million, probably.

What?

I guess they're unrelated.

Owners Buzz and Kathleen Cusack.

And so if it was John Cusack, he's blocked all of us on Twitter.

He blocked all of us.

Oh, dude, this sucks.

You know what would have been perfect?

What?

Oh, it's the creative a lot.

There was a porn theater that got sold for 30 grand in Baltimore.

Yeah.

That would be fucking sick to buy an old porn theater and turn it into just like a sweet venue.

But no, I can't.

I love Baltimore, but

I'm a big city bastard.

What can I say?

I love New York.

I'm going to live in Queens, probably.

Portland has a real cool theater.

Do you remember that one?

Portland, Oregon?

Yeah.

Portland rocks, dude.

I think my boy's going to move back to London.

I think I'm going to be in Portland for like four times a month, hopefully.

I think Ian Carmel, before he moved to L.A., they had a show at some theater in Portland that I remember going to once.

The Aladdin Theater, maybe?

I can't remember, but I remember being like, this is fucking awesome.

Yeah.

Big old theater.

Firehouse or something like that.

Anyway, who gives a fuck?

Yeah, dude, certainly that is one way my life could go, and it would be awesome.

Yeah.

And also, you're not that far from New York.

Should I just buy an awesome house in Baltimore it's not that far it's what three and a half hours the only problem is the taxes right yeah in the city the taxes are pretty high but whatever I don't give a fuck yeah but you just you just got I love paying for the Baltimore Police Department I love for some fat cocksuck from Harford County who comes in and does and does fucking hate crimes does I love that I get to pay my taxes so he makes two hundred thousand dollars a year for some reason they make a lot of money yeah dude cops make so much money I'm so fucking cops have such a good yeah they make all their money in overtime.

They get overtime, they get everything.

And they complain.

Oh, you know what?

I was like, I was always complaining about that.

I was thinking this shit, the Boulevard Theater in Waverly.

Oh, yeah.

I'm two years out from my pitch.

Yeah, it's like right at 33rd in Greenmount.

I love that place, dude.

Yeah, that you could buy, probably.

I probably could, man.

And I like that area, too.

But it's far, yeah.

Oh, never mind.

This sold for 1.2.

Okay, never mind.

That's cheaper than a one-bedroom apartment in New York.

No, it's not.

You get a one-bedroom in New York for cheaper than that.

But it's an apartment, not a house.

Like, I could worry about it.

We could buy an apartment right now, but it's like, who wants?

I don't want to buy an apartment.

I want a house.

Yeah.

I want a fucking.

I want a little garden, dude.

I'm a fucking immigrant.

I just want to fucking.

I want to be in a wife beater just washing my cement.

Yeah.

I don't want to be in a fucking, you know,

patting your brow.

On the fourth story.

Yeah.

With your hot wife.

Yeah.

Putting my wife too hot for me.

Putting linens on on the lawn.

I need to go to Greece and find me a fucking girl.

You got to get one of those bitches.

I do.

You got to get

the lady that Tony Soprano imagines.

I think

it's a Northern European ideal woman.

I think wearing a children's Halloween costume.

Fucking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's my favorite.

Dude, that was so awesome.

Yeah.

Oh, no, that's the lady in Italy.

That's the mob boss.

No, the woman he hallucinated.

The woman he hallucinated.

He thinks he has lunch.

Saying at the at the

Cusumano's baby surgery.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she's a dental student from Italy.

Yeah.

I definitely do need me a bitch like that.

She is perf.

Anyway, back to Tumblr and jacking off to it.

F.

Yeah, Brazilian Girls was a favorite.

I just want a modest family somewhere, nice little house, quiet

cassette problem.

Nobody knows.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you can keep it.

Yeah, you're clean.

You're clean.

And then you have a back injury and you have a minor procedure.

And he's like, look, just in case, I'll give you some of these.

Just going to dinner.

The whole family's silent, breeding pizza.

I'm clearly on drugs.

Everyone knows.

And I'm like, isn't this great?

We're going to remember this.

Just silent, looking down.

Yeah, you hold your son's hand too hard.

You're like, I love you so much.

I'm just sweating.

You can just feel the sweat in my hand.

My hand's like just kind of, it's got a tremor.

That would be awesome.

And they know I'm dying.

They just want it to be over with.

Yeah, they're just all biding their time.

There are a lot of guys like that.

Yeah,

it's very funny.

60.

It's so funny.

That's the thing.

Boomers don't really get credit, but they really know how to just cruise through a supposedly middle-class life, just being fucking absolute tragedies and destroying everyone around them.

Yeah, and not even realizing.

They're really good at it.

They're the best at it.

And they think they're so defiant.

Just

put on a happy face.

They think that.

Because of what they did in college.

Literally, it doesn't even work.

For

That shows you, man.

You get pussy for like six months and do drugs, your life's not.

They got pussy.

They got pussy that did a little acid and didn't get a haircut for a year.

And they're like, we changed the world.

We were part of a social revolution.

Meanwhile, Gen Xers all like did ecstasy and had gay sex with each other.

Literally, nothing matters.

Right, right.

Let's just make the best music.

They do have better music.

Honestly, now I'm set, but fuck the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

Wow, dude,

chin blossoms, screaming trees,

God Smack.

Wow, dude.

He went there.

Yeah.

Who's a Gen X?

I can't think.

Boomers are so clear in my mind, but who's like a Gen X person that we know that I would, that I could like?

My friend Norman.

You know, my friend.

Okay.

There's people in there.

Literally every older comedian you're friends with, Bobby.

Those guys are Gen X.

Yeah.

I guess you're right.

They're not boomers.

They're not us.

How old's Bobby?

50?

Yeah, if you're 50, you're Gen X.

Is that Gen X?

It's also, too, it's one of those things where it's like, what's a Zoomer and what's a millennial?

You can sort of pick.

And also, a lot of Gen X.

I picked Zoomer.

A lot of Gen X.

I picked Gen X.

I'm basically your dad.

You pick Gen X?

Yeah, Adam, you're a Zoomer, you think?

Dad's a boomer.

I'm a Zoomer, dude.

Hell yeah, dude.

I don't care about shit.

I've been dancing on TikTok.

I guess, but you know what it is?

A lot of Gen X people, like, culturally picked being boomers.

Even though they're younger, they're all listening to, like, I mean, a lot of them, like, listen to fucking, you know, the Beatles and shit, like Zeppelin, that kind of shit.

Like, I don't know.

I think that there is a weird,

I guess, Gen X I think of as like, I don't know,

like you were saying one time, Adam, like guys with their cocks pierced or whatever.

Yeah, leather jackets.

Yeah, going around.

Having gay sex at raves.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think of them as pretty fucking losers.

When there was like

the older, the people in that age group I respect culturally are boomers.

In the early 90s, the Grateful Dead came back and they got huge, like the biggest they ever got

right before Jerry died.

and also acid was introduced to clubs interesting acid house and ecstasy

and that's kind of their that was their moment early 90s Woodstock 94 I see was there Woodstock before the rapes yeah there so they did Woodstock up until 99 no they did 69 94 and 99 really there was a 94 yeah they brought it back for the what is that the 20th 25th yeah the 25th Woodstock 94 I had no idea yeah woodstock 94 was oh you hear about 99 because you had about thirst or whatever yeah because the rapes of 99 really take the head of the rapes of 99

who's in woodstock 94 now i'm interested uh

oh baby let me suck your fucking pussy i was too young to

no you weren't you were 12.

in 94 i was seven

you were seven damn you're old you were old dude i was only five i remember having gen X babysitters and wanting to fuck them as a little kid.

A bunch of shit I've never seen.

Like teenage girls when we were little kids.

Big-ass tits and a pair of flannel.

Yeah, flannel.

Yeah.

I always associated flannel with those.

We got the violent femme, Cheryl Crow,

Blues Traveler,

Apex Twin.

That's sick.

Little Louis Vega.

I don't know what the fuck that is, but that's a good name.

Frankie Bones.

DJ Spooky.

That sounds sick, too.

Joe Cocker, Cypress Hill.

Joe Cocker came back.

Crosby Stills and Nash.

Melissa Etheridge, Nine Inch Nails, Metallica Aerosmith.

God damn.

Yeah, dude.

It was a good show.

Salt and Peppa.

That's Primus.

The band.

The Cranberries.

Bob Dylan played 94, but not 69.

Damn.

Oh, Aerosmith was in the original Woodstock, too?

Were they?

Yeah.

How?

I don't know.

I didn't know.

Oh, they were at it.

They went to it.

Yeah, they were at the show.

Yeah, I don't think they were in the right show.

Yeah.

And then Sunday, the Almond Brothers band.

Bob Dylan, your boy, Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Porno for Pyros.

Everyone thinks he was at the first one.

Or people think, but he wasn't.

Gil Scott Heron.

The Neville Brothers.

Santana.

Oh, yeah.

Green Day, dude.

It's a big show.

Do you have the time to look at my little ass dick?

Nick was at Woodstock 94.

I was.

Yeah, were you?

You were the baby that they sucked off?

I was.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I was just a little five-year-old guy.

You guys were six and seven.

Yep.

But you weighed as much as

both of us.

This is the entire elementary school.

No, I wasn't fat then.

You had a special bus that took you to school.

I got fat.

Monster truck bus.

We've been over this.

I got fat in third grade when I realized you could get milk for free, so I used my milk money to buy cupcakes.

And that was the beginning of my life.

That's what did it.

It was.

That's just smart.

It was smart.

So you were a busy.

So you're just a smart guy.

You were a fat cat.

I was, dude.

You were cutting deals.

Well, you got to take your call, don't you?

At one.

What is it?

We got

$12.55.

Okay.

We could do one.

Listen, we can...

One big riff.

We can spoil the listeners with an extra minute this one.

Yeah.

One big riff.

Or we could just, I could keep reading off the Wikipedia.

Who the hell was Orville Redenbacher?

This is just one of

some airplane

airplane that fucked around with popcorn.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

This made a bunch of airplanes, and he was like, you know what?

Time to go to the movies, bitch.

Get your pussy out.

I'm going to put some corn in it and see what happens.

I think that's who he was.

And then he fucked the bitch so hard the shit turned into.

It started popping out.

It turned into candy.

Yeah.

So he threw corn into

shit.

Don't invent two things in his lifetime.

I didn't know that.

And he called up his brother.

Who was his brother?

I don't know.

Frank Lloyd Wright.

Oh, he was making houses.

Well, who Redenbacher and Frank Lloyd Wright invented the airplanes?

I didn't know.

They're the Wright brothers.

The Wright brothers.

Yep.

Yeah, Redenbacher's a stage name.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He would go on stage and fuck pussy so good it turned into popcorn.

He would throw unpopped kernels at a girl's pussy, fuck it so fast it got so hot it popped.

That's the original style of popping that pussy.

Yeah, that's where popping the pussy comes from.

It comes from.

Pussy popping.

You know what?

And there.

Pussy popping who invented popcorn.

There we go.

And as Adam promised, one big

it's time to head back to school and forward to your future with Carrington College.

For over 55 years, we've helped train the next generation of healthcare professionals.

Apply now to get hands-on training from teachers with real-world experience.

In as few as nine months, you could start making a difference in healthcare.

Classes start soon in Pleasant Hill, San Leandro, and San Jose.

Visit Carrington.edu to see what's next for you.

Visit carrington.edu/slash SCI for information on program outcomes.

This is Bethany Frankel from Just Be with Bethany Frankel.

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