Ep. 271 – pussy passports

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Well,

we're coming in hot with absolutely nothing this week.

It's

yeah, a lot of people

complain.

They say, oh, the show is

past its prime.

You know, it peaked, and now it's only getting worse.

That's right.

Yeah, we've heard your complaints.

And

A, who cares?

B.

I care, actually.

No, you don't.

No.

Don't pretend you care.

No.

No, I said it sarcastically.

Now, if

I don't try and explain the other side of the coin, none of us are passionate.

I wasn't being sarcastic.

I care.

Now, if you were to say such awful things about my Bichon Fries grooming business,

that might get to me.

If they find out the name of it, they're going to just bomb your Google reviews and stuff.

Your Google reviews are going to go down.

The Bijan off.

Bijan Off.

Bijanoff of a Bijan Fries grooming business by a gentleman who's not as gay as you might think.

That's right.

He's actually straight as well.

He's just gay enough to sneak his way into the good graces of a Bijan Fries owning type of bitch.

Of the Bijan Fries industry.

Joey, we can use the dogs to get the women we have sex with.

We can fuck the dogs.

Chandler, that's a great idea.

I'm Italian.

Chandler, I want pussy in a me Paul fucking sub if you want to hear the rest of that bit go to patreon.com

oh yeah the Patreon this week was really good it was really good

it was pretty good

yeah that's what we're saying it's been it's too hot it's too damn hot and we got Indian food that was on in hindsight it wasn't mistake I mean it doesn't matter how much you blast age if that was an Adam decision this show is only good you're right you know what I have to say if that was an Adam decision, if I pushed Indian food

hand up, we'd be crucifying.

You're right, we should have gotten Cuban food instead.

Yeah, I could have gotten a fucking salad there and a sandwich.

You could have gotten a salad at the fucking Indian restaurant.

No, Indian

Indian restaurants.

They're vegetarians.

What do you mean they don't have a salad?

But they boil it.

They get different hot sauces and sugary hot sauces.

Different things and different hot sauces.

Look, I enjoyed the meal, but I'm sluggish.

The meal was good.

I just feel like dog shit.

And then we walked home seven blocks in 90-degree heat.

But you know what, guys?

None of that matters because I'm with my friends right now.

It sounds like it does matter because you were at Mr.

Joey Blamiani.

Okay, well, it feels good.

It's everyone's fault, but fucking mine.

I will say if it was Adam's.

I'm with you, Adam.

Let's remind everyone.

You've blown it many times.

On meal calls.

Many times.

Listen, I feel like...

I honestly think anything you could eat when it's this hot.

I mean, it's brutal.

You go outside cold.

A cold meal.

What's a cold meal?

It feels like having your face pissed on.

Yeah.

Or not even pissed on,

like a woman's just like

venting a gas out of her, like a fat,

a fat, smelly pussy gas.

Yeah, hot, pissed.

Well, folks, the only way to describe the humidity levels out today is like a fat pussy gas hissing in your face.

Okay, that's the weather for it's gonna be bad.

And we're going live to

Mario Josante's with the traffic report.

Right.

Thanks, Megan.

I'm fucking gay, and I suck my

feet.

Okay, we're back in studio.

And we said it feels like a fat woman's pussy.

So, to actually give you guys a demonstration, we are going to put our faces

by a couple fat ladies.

We've got got a local woman that's been going around to school showing children her fat pussy and some tricks she can do with it.

She's doing it to teach them about global warming.

She's going to show us some of those before she heads to

John Rocket Elementary School

to show

her pussy.

Her pussy out to the children.

To the baseball pitcher?

No, that's John

Rocker.

Oh,

who had some insights on what it's like to live in New York City?

I was trying to think of the name of a segregationist, and what popped into my head was Johnny Rockets.

Johnny Rockets, yep.

Used to be one of my favorite restaurants

as a child.

That's a fucking bad choice.

I love Strom Thurman.

That's who I wanted.

Strom Thurman.

I was just thinking about Johnny Rockets.

Segregationist asked Strom Thurmond with some secret black pussy on the side.

Secret black pussy.

A tale as old as time.

Secret Black Pussy.

Secret Black Pussy.

I love that song.

I would love to.

A movie called Secret Black Pussy, and it's like maybe a hot black girl that's James Bond.

Fat gay, faggot, but I'm bad.

What's that?

Why are you singing that?

That's just a song about a guy.

Interesting.

Yeah, why are you getting so.

Just curious.

Why are you getting so tired of it?

Wire beads of sweat.

Excuse me.

I'm not sweating.

Wire beads of sweat.

I'm not sweating.

I was the only one who dressed sensibly.

I have a cut-off shirt.

Really?

That's it.

And I have shorts.

That was good.

Because

Nick did promise us no walks.

He said, we have work to do today.

No long walk in the middle of the day.

Well, we didn't go on a long walk.

The last walk was.

We were planning on a long walk.

The last walk was what Claire Daines might call a walk to remember.

I don't know.

I think that was Mandy Moore.

I think it was

Omar Sharif

and Claire

Giraldo.

Claire Giraldo,

a hot little teen starlit from the 2000s.

Yeah.

She was great at rooms.

It was Omar Monday and Julia Smells.

Yeah.

Julia Smells is one of those female comedies.

Julia Styles does seem like out of all those ladies, she has the smelliest.

Isn't there a girl named Julia Smells that does comedy in Brooklyn?

I don't believe it.

I think it is.

Yeah.

Julia Smells.

Yeah.

No, it sounds right.

She's got a master's.

She's really,

changing the way people think about comedy.

Yeah.

Yeah, with her.

Her set is her just doing the New York Times crossword.

Yeah.

I don't know her.

Julia Smells.

Yeah.

She's deconstructing the genre.

You're deconstructing my penis.

That means I'm not doing it?

No, you're doing it in a new and interesting way.

Oh, okay.

Well, you've got my balls in your throat and you've got and you're licking my dick.

I'm sort of sitting.

I'm sitting on you.

So I'm upside down.

You're you're laying down, and I'm dipping, and you're sucking my balls like they're a cock, but you got them all the way down.

You've actually swallowed them.

Well, sorry, dude.

You've swallowed my balls.

No, you're going to throw them up eventually.

Yeah, yeah.

Got your balls.

You got my balls.

You got your balls.

But your tongue is licking my cock.

Yeah.

And then eventually you're going to throw my balls up, and then I'm going to rub the saliva.

Yeah.

You got a whole way to do it.

When an adult did that got your nose thing to me for the first time, it really pissed me off as a kid.

I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

I never believed it for a second.

I never felt for it.

But I'm like, why are you lying to me right now?

You believed it.

No.

You both believed it.

I got scared for a second.

Split second.

What?

The you got your nose thing.

No, I didn't believe that shit.

Yeah, you did.

I wasn't fucking stupid like you.

No.

No, you're stupid.

I wasn't smart.

I wasn't stupid.

I was smart.

You were stupid.

No, I was smart as a baby, and I'm dumb now.

No.

You're still a baby now, and you're as dumb as you were.

No, I'm not.

I was a smart baby and I'm a dumb man.

No.

What kind of shit were you doing as a baby?

I was talking at eight months.

Thank you very much.

You really?

Yes.

And everyone's like, look who's talking.

He's like, oh, she's kisses.

Hungry.

Milano.

Tahoe.

Sasserito.

Pepperidge farm.

That's how Sabo.

He won all the geography contests as a kid.

Because I learned.

Because I learned via Pepperidge Farm.

Yeah, you knew all the

animal crackers.

I was a very verbal baby.

You were.

In Greek, though.

I didn't speak English until I was like three or four.

Really?

What other words did you know?

What other words?

Yeah.

What was your first word?

Probably mom.

I don't fucking know.

Well, you just said you were speaking.

I would imagine if you were speaking, you would remember what you were saying.

Do you remember what you said 10 years ago?

Yes.

What?

Your first words.

10 years ago, people don't need health care.

If they want it, they can work for it.

Ron Paul is a faggot on net neutrality, but everything else,

especially the anti-war stuff.

I'm tired of Americans having to die for Israel.

Right.

Yeah.

And then there.

You were part of the Ron Paul Revolution.

And in the end, there is the one bit of consistency.

Right.

Yeah, ten years ago, I remember saying something like,

you'll never be able to find me, so the allegations will never surface.

But now I'm terrified.

You think it's the internet, the democratizing power of the internet,

you'll be held accountable for your rape?

So now I've come out as queer

to

deflect from the allegations which I get.

Queer meow, queer me now, fuck me, asshole,

fuck me, and the asshole rule.

Queer menow man.

Queer menow.

Queer me now.

That's cool.

Well, you know, whatever.

And what were the allegations?

The allegations were

that

I helped

a struggling family find a new house.

No.

And they said, how could we let people know?

He was a surrogate mother.

And he killed the kid.

And

he killed the baby by letting somebody blow his ass out while he was.

That's not physically possible on two fronts.

He was nine months out of the bus.

He was incubating a baby in his ass.

Yeah, for cash.

And then he fucked up.

For a rich, childless family.

That's awesome.

That's true.

It's true.

You could probably incubate a baby in an ass.

Don't they have those machines now?

That's what gay guys are doing, though.

And they're lactating.

Really?

Well, it's true.

Gay guys were lactating before they could have babies, but now.

Were they?

If you get cumbed in and stuff.

Gay guys breastfeed each other.

It's one of their favorite things to do.

Can you breast my penis?

That's a fucking awesome question.

Can you shed my penis ass?

Oh, man.

The Lamb Rogan Josh.

He got me sleepier than a motherfucker.

Has anyone pointed that out?

That they got a Joe Rogan dish.

Yeah.

Indian Russia.

Yeah, Indian guys are really into the experience.

It's like,

what the hell is next?

Lamb Louis C.K.

Yeah.

Josh.

Josh.

Josh.

Lamb Louis C.

K.

Josh.

Lamb Joey Coco Diaz, Josh.

Yeah.

What the hell is next after that?

Fucking

Jerry Seinfeld.

What do we got?

We were doing podcasts.

Why were we?

Oh.

You're doing comedians.

Yeah, I said Louis C.K.

I know.

You weren't paying attention.

I fucked up the bit again.

No, no, it's fine.

I was going podcast.

Nick went more traditional comedian.

Just believe in yourself, Adam.

It's okay.

I'm getting.

Isn't it weird how anybody named Armstrong always becomes famous for something?

This is

so far.

Louis Armstrong.

It's so motherfucking.

It's like the Armstrong curse.

Yeah.

You just want to have a private life.

You're basically destined for some kind of fame, either bicycle or trumpet or being an astronaut.

And guess what, guys?

Getting your nut chopped off and fucking Sheryl Crowe.

We can say this as three successful, famous guys.

Be careful what you wish for.

Yeah.

It's not so fun to be an Armstrong.

I heard Lynn.

Yeah.

I wish for Adam to get the HIV virus for my birthday last year.

Yeah, and be careful what you wish for, Nick.

Yeah.

Because.

Is that what you did right before you blew out the candles?

Well, now you said it, dude.

Now it's not going to come true.

I know.

Well, I had a time frame.

I was doing magical thinking.

Oh, wow.

You ever heard that shit?

Magical thinking?

Yeah.

It's just like how women's brains work, I guess.

What's magical thinking?

They're like, if I go on a diet for three weeks, he's going to call me back.

I'm going to get the job.

Is that just manifesting?

Yeah, well, when a man manifests something, it's different than magical thinking.

Okay.

Manifesting is like

sort of like a will to form or a will to power.

You bend the world to your desires.

Yeah.

To the strength of your mind.

Hold on.

How did Benito Mussolini describe fascism?

I'm interested.

It's history.

His girlfriend was like a fucking hot bitch, right?

He got a hot bitch?

I think so.

So that was the difference between him and

an old Adolph.

Yeah, Hitler wanted to fuck his fucking child niece or whatever.

Or cousin or whatever.

Mussolini girlfriend.

Yeah.

I think I saw a picture like his grandma.

How about a guy named Bruce Solini?

Yeah.

I have a dude that karate.

Oh, that's good.

I have to do a karate and help a hitlara with the karate.

Oh, damn.

Never mind.

His bitch wasn't that foin.

Oh, never mind.

Now I don't like him again.

Now I don't like him.

Ooh, there's some not-chill pictures of what happened to her.

She got her pussy slammed.

No, her whole body was kind of hung upside down.

Her body.

Her body is busted.

Yeah.

She's got a busted body.

How's the new camping chair, Adam?

The new camping chair is just as comfortable as the old one.

But I got a new one that's now arrived at my house.

We got this padded.

This shit glamping.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

So I was really benefiting my...

I really pooped.

You pooped.

You shitted your way into a deliberate poop.

Yeah.

No,

what's the difference between glamping and camping?

You have like nicer stuff there.

Maybe PS5.

I don't understand the difference between the two.

Camping, you're just outside in a fucking little dick-ass tent.

Bugs are sucking on your dick and shit.

Sucks.

That sounds like being bad at camping.

Yeah.

Nah, dude.

Any camping, you're just in a tent.

No, camping is like you're being real efficient with what you're taking.

It's like poor shit.

Glamping is like there's electricity.

You got an RV, maybe.

They got that.

What's that game where you're going to?

What's our RV stand for?

Recreational vehicle.

Really?

Yeah.

What did you think it's supposed to?

Okay.

There's retard, there's

retard vagina.

That's what I thought he was going to say.

There's retard virgin.

There's.

Speaking of

retard virgin, they had to cancel the Virgin Atlantic flight to space.

How come?

Because you're gay.

What the fuck?

What the hell?

Come on, man.

Yeah, I don't know why.

Why are you going to say anything?

Are you fucking serious right now?

No, he's not being serious.

Am I really gay?

Come on, just look through that.

Come on.

Am I actually gay and that's the reason we're doing that?

We do this joke all the time.

But is that true?

But it's not why they had to cancel a space flight.

You weren't even on it.

I thought the space flight happened.

You weren't on it.

Because they plugged in the directions of the moon and they realized it was actually going to your house.

I don't understand why they do that.

What did they got Google Maps for a fucking spaceflight?

Yeah.

And it got confused and was going to go to my house.

It was going to go to your house.

You too, let me guess.

I'm as round as the moon and as big.

Yeah, and it was because your gravity pulled the directions in that direction.

I wish my gravity taught me, because you know what?

People say that about fat people?

I would love it if a hot bitch got pulled into my gravity.

And then I just pulled my

weenus out.

Your elbow?

No, my dick.

Your weenus is your elbow skin, bro.

Nice, dude.

You feel good about that?

Yeah, that's like a little kid thing to know.

That was pretty meanous of you, Adam.

Wasn't being mean.

Now I'm going to fuck your to talk about Stav's tiny penis.

No, I'm saying anything about the size of my dick.

I'm just telling you, you shouldn't use that word for to refer to his tiny.

Tiny classic.

Yeah.

Yeah, my dick is a fucking classic classic miniature.

My penis is a tiny dancer.

Like a Hershey's Kiss.

That's how they describe Stobb's dick often.

No one doesn't describe the tiny dick.

Like a Hershey's Kiss.

See you balance the top of Tootsie Roll.

Okay, at least we're getting closer now.

At least I got a little more girth.

Or I guess length.

Length.

That gives you some legs.

Not a lot of girth.

Like a little, like, a little, like.

Tootsie roll minis.

Yeah, like a plain.

A regular Tootsie Roll.

Don't even try it.

In fact, you know what it is?

It's the big Tootsie Rolls that they give you on Halloween.

No, guys.

And we've gone too far.

I found out about

shots, and the description is now completely incorrect.

No, it's completely correct.

And it's wrong.

I found out about a new food that they're selling.

I went to the movies.

They're called Pop-Tarts Minis.

It's not.

I came up with the idea for that.

Not you.

What do you mean, not you?

Old.

Everybody knows.

Bite-sized Pop-Tarts.

Everybody knows about about that, Adam.

I just found out.

That's what snacks are.

You don't even fucking keep abreast of snack technology.

You're going to come here.

I thought it was a cool advancement that I just wanted to share with you guys.

And Nick apparently came up with that idea.

When?

I remember there was an Oreo, when Oreo's minis came out?

I remember that.

There was a commercial with a little boy.

where he's in school and they put it in his hand and he's looking at the size of the Oreo in his hand and he runs him from school and like measures himself against the wall to see what through

And if there's a way to edit that commercial, so it's a little boy like looking in his hand, he's like, and then you see him like run home and he's running to the kitchen and he just like quickly grabs the ruler off the counter and then he like runs into the bathroom.

Hell yeah.

It's like Oreos minis.

It'll make you think your dick will be big.

Your dick will look huge.

It'll make you think your dick is bigger.

You could put one of them on the top of your dick head.

It'll looked like you're

gigantic

packages of oreo minis for two free tickets to see harry potter the sorcerer's stone

stop when's the last time you legitimately measured your penis

i don't know man it's been a while

the last time i went to the doctor i guess

i'm in a health insurance yeah that's true

They should make you put that on your ID.

Dick size?

Yeah.

No, they shouldn't.

Well, it's all kind of some things.

It's all shit that, like, women ask, like, your height or your eyes.

Well, let them fucking wonder.

No.

There should be a couple of guys,

questions for the guys on the ID.

Oh, so the guys are the ones who want to know how big your dick is?

Yeah.

No, it's the girls.

The fuck, who the fuck who's at random messaging you?

It's always.

It's all guys.

It's always the fellow.

What do you mean?

See my dick?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've never gotten a guy asking.

Well, I mean, I guess.

You're out of your mind.

Well, I guess I kind of just want to oil you up and roll you around like a big old

like a big old butterfall

in a sexual manner

make Thanksgiving dinner I guess in the bedroom is what they call it that's true what they call it

look they want to see my dick but you know play pilgrims and Indians so you're saying gay men playing the first playing the first dinner playing first thanksgiving play a little Plymouth rock and I'm the dinner my ash or my dick and they're all tasting.

You're a nice hot roll.

They want to split you open, have some steam coming off.

Yeah,

big old piece of Hawaiian King's bread.

Ugh, so good.

So damn good, that's Hawaiian bread.

Well, girls may not ask because they don't have the.

Good lord.

You know what they would ask about is taking a pillow by

bluechew.com.

Home of chewables.

I love chewables.

And I'll tell you what, folks, if you're new to the show and you've been listening for the last 20 minutes and you're like, this is one of the funniest things.

How can I

give it to you?

I need to give these guys money.

These guys, I need to give it

to them money and their sponsors money.

Yeah, I'll tell you what.

I saw the fucking Beatles with fucking social distortion live.

Wow.

No way.

Where are your Post Pavilion?

At Carnegie Hall, fucking January 87th, 1977.

Really?

And I tell you.

What was this show?

What?

It was a good show.

It was, I mean, it's historical.

Yeah.

It's probably the crowning achievement of my life.

been living in a rent-controlled apartment on the Upper West Side since 1915

When I was a part of the free love movement,

by seeing Bob Dylan all the time.

And dressing like Bob Dylan and pretending I was Bob Dylan.

And carrying a guitar around to hit on women.

Getting a little pussy, but not enough.

Getting a very little amount of pussy that in my senior citizen years I've convinced myself is a lot.

With every year and with more people that have died, I embellish how much I used to feel.

And now my entire life is just creeping people out on Facebook.

Posting pictures of pictures that are clearly framed

in my house.

Framed polars in my house.

Yes, you can see the fucking reflection coming off of the fucking.

When I saw that, and I listened to this show, and I listened to the first 20 minutes of the show, and I said, these guys,

it reminds me of fucking Dylan and McCartney in concert together.

Yes.

Corona Park, 1977.

Social discussion.

I went with my girlfriend at the time.

She was half Puerto Rican,

about 95% Jewish, but she had a tan.

Yeah.

And Puerto Rican style.

Diane Feinstein.

I used to call her Feinstein Stee Steen.

Diane Feinstein.

That hot piece of pussy.

Yeah, Feinstein Stee Sai.

And we went together, and

I never fucked her.

We never got to stay.

How long were you guys dating?

How long did you guys date?

We were going steady for a while.

You were going with her.

That year my father died.

I inherited $3,500 and she took all of it.

And that was a summer love.

And the only thing that makes me feel remotely like that feeling is going to Bloonshoot.com to buy chewable tablets.

To make my dick hard.

To make my dick hard.

And I look at that Polaroid of

me outside of

me outside of the Bob's Big Boy

in Asbury Park, New New Jersey, with the man I thought was Bruce Springsteen's manager.

But

it wasn't.

It was just some guy, but I was basically famous.

You had a moment.

That was a moment.

You had a real moment.

And I went to BlueChew.com.

And, Adam, why don't you do us, why don't you tell us about your experience?

My experience with chewable tablets.

Chewable tablets.

Well, I had a great experience.

Chewable cock tablets.

Because one of the benefits of Blue Chew.com is that there are no in-person doctor visits.

And there are a lot of doctors around town that I'm banned from seeing, actually.

Right, how come?

Because I tried to see them too many times.

I was making up ailments.

But now you're showing each other cool things on the phone.

No, just to

get his name.

Don't worry about it, dude.

Just keep talking about the fucking pills.

I just fill up.

They're not pills, they're chewable tablets.

Good job, Adam.

And so, anyway,

I was able to have a brief consultation over video conference with a medical professional that BlueChew.com set me up with.

Wow.

And I was immediately provided with a prescription for

sedalophil and telatophil.

Both.

Both of them.

No, you choose one.

Or I chose one.

It was right for you.

She said, you want the red pill or the blue pill.

Yep.

And I went blue pill.

Wow.

Send me back.

Send me back.

But with a hard-ass dick.

With a hard-ass dick.

Send me back.

You can either take the red pill and know what's going on.

The dick will be soft as shit.

Or the blue pill.

Or you take the red pill.

You take the red pill.

Or you can join me in the real world.

Where you're taking the.

You get a bunch of chubby pussy.

Listen, one of the world's finest delicacies, if you ask me,

a little piece of chubby pussy pie.

Well, it's the Ford Model T of pussy.

Classic.

The pussy for the middle class.

That's right, brother.

That's absolutely correct.

Anyway, so after a brief consultation,

I'm a blue-collar guy, and my dick is a blue tablet, kind of like I got blued up after a brief consultation.

The blue-collar comedy tour is actually

they take out one of Star's balls, and everyone laughs at it, and his penis, and then they laugh at it,

and then they laugh at his other ball.

Where's the collar part?

And it's wearing a shirt.

He's wearing a shirt.

Blue shirt.

This is a blue shirt.

Kind of a best buyer.

And it's all a blue chew.

What the hell?

Blue chew.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

And

after taking these chewable tablets, I have received no complaints in the bedroom.

Afterwards, I have received a couple suspicious text messages from lovers of mine.

But in the bedroom, they say, What the hell?

Were you thinking of a man again?

Your dick was fully hard.

What the hell?

Okay, that's a mean.

That's a rude, that's a rude impression.

It's me,

your boyfriend from hell.

Your boyfriend, Satan.

That's scary.

Yes.

I mean, I have had.

You filled my ass too good, Adam.

Yeah, it's true.

I've been topping Satan much like Saddam Hussein in the South Park movie.

Right.

Yep.

And we've been having fantastic sex.

That's awesome.

Thanks to the chewable tablets.

But it's only thanks to the chewable tablets provided to me from BlueChew.com.

I love them myself.

And if you love sex, you'll love bluechew.com.

Blue Chew.com.

All three of the hosts of this show get their dicks card artificially with the help of Blue Chew.

And if you want to be like us, which we know

for some reason you do.

For some then go to Blue Chew.com and use promo code Come Town or Come Town20 or go to go.bluechew.com, I believe.

Come Town.

Did you tell them about the no-in-person document?

Yeah, he's very adamant about that.

And did you tell him about second-chance financing?

No.

I didn't tell him about that.

No, you could put your dick toes on lay with me.

I thought you guys would make fun of me for talking that way on the show.

And we would have.

Listen, there are no gimmicks.

There's no tricks.

There's no.

I'm getting.

Should we podcast with our eyes closed for the rest of it?

I think we should.

I'm getting.

Honestly, this fucking.

We had that samosa.

I might need a fucking nap.

I'm starting to get into thinking about that old

guy looking at his penis.

Who?

What old guy?

The old guy with the big go.bluechree.com.

No, the guy going to see

the stones.

Oh, that guy.

Oh, yeah, that guy.

That's a new guy.

I like that guy.

That's a.

Because it's you.

I saw the stone temple.

January 15th, 1969.

Scott Whalen.

Scott Whalen.

Actually, scratched that.

It was Velvet Revolver.

Slash was there.

I saw Scott Whalen.

I asked myself a question.

What if Slash and Scott Whalen were in the same band together?

And I think someone from Rage Against the Machine, maybe?

Who else was in the middle?

It's hard to say.

Velvet Revolver?

I believe it was just Stone Patel Pots and Guns N' Roses members.

What was the Rage Against the Machine side problem?

Audio Slave.

Audio Slave.

Oh, that's Adam.

I'm a dumbass.

I'm sorry, I'm mixing up super groups.

Adam.

I'm mixing up late 90s, early 2000s super groups.

And you should remember Audio Slave because you were in a band called Penis Slave.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

And it was just you.

And

it was a combination of the groups Rage Against Being Straight

and Penis Guard.

You know what, guys?

Rage Against Bell, we feel like we're.

Penis Guard.

We feel like we're

found out.

And by the way, you were in both of those bands, too.

And the band members were you?

Tom, more penis, please.

Chris Hornell for penis.

Zach de la Penis.

No, he was not in audio slave.

All right, man.

I thought it was different.

I'm sorry, man.

I think we, you know, it's fine, dude.

I wasn't.

The point is, you were in Penis Slave.

All right.

And the important thing to remember

is that you won't skip.

Coc

Cock de la sucka.

That's you.

I'll suck

on your dick.

See the famous songs.

Lock

I'm gay.

Bulls in my ass.

My dick's ball.

I'm gay.

Fuck my ass.

I'm gay.

Sucking in the name of.

That's you.

Power bottom.

Power bottom.

I won't lick on a pussy.

I won't lick on a pussy.

I like to suck.

A man's harm.

Gay Rillo radio.

Yeah, Gay Rilla Radio.

That's pretty good.

Sleep now in a guy's bed that's on fire.

There's

you reaching

to a cookie jar filled filled with cock.

Yep.

And flex of cock.

Shit, I'm sorry.

Not flex of cock, flex of shit.

Yeah.

Because it got shit out there.

Why don't people just learn how to dose fentanyl?

What do you mean?

What's nice?

Is it fun to take?

It's an opiate.

Yeah, I guess so.

Here's the thing.

Most drugs aren't fun to take, really.

Once you're old.

It just becomes a necessity.

I thought fentanyl, even if you have a little, you just die.

Or is that what

is that with the liars at the anti-fentanyl?

How about instead of fentanyl, it's the United Colors of Benton?

Oh, yeah.

Nice little pre-callback.

You'll hear that one in let's say about five and a half weeks.

I'll suck on your dear.

United Colors of Benton.

I'll get

my ass fuck.

Instead of an English muffin, it's an English blumpkin.

Okay.

And that's

where a woman eats your ass while you're pissing.

So

you have to straddle the toilet with your ass out in the air, and you piss while she eats your ass.

So you're sort of bent over.

No, you're kind of like...

And you're angling your dick towards the point.

You're straddling the toilet reverse.

Reverse, like a cool teacher.

Like a cool teacher.

Yeah.

And then you're but you're leaning forward to p push your ass out.

I see, I see.

And then your dick is probably completely submitted.

It's submerged in the water.

That's hot.

That's awesome.

And you're you're jet streaming into the water while that must feel cool.

And that's the English uh blumpkin.

Now, let me ask you about the English Blumpkin.

Are you worried?

Because we've all been there when we're pissing.

Sometimes

we ought to make sure we don't make this a regular thing, Miss Schmoner Benny.

Hey, James.

Aren't you afraid you would fart in her mouth or is that part of it?

That's part of it.

Yeah, like when you're pissing and farting, yeah, because

you know what, Sav, people say sometimes that guy's not a feminist.

No one says that.

I thought about it.

You thought about that.

No one says that.

You know,

what if, in case you fart into the lady?

Everyone knows I'm basically fucking Susan B.

Anthony.

What did she do?

No, she made the flag.

Fuck.

No.

Who's the suffrage bitch?

That was Dolly.

Are you sure you're not Susan M and Anthony?

Susan M and Anthony?

That is who I am.

I just remembered.

Yeah.

How about Susan, Opie, and Anthony?

That'd be cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, fucking

they're like, women should be able to vote, stupid.

Yeah.

Every hole should get the vote.

Why don't you let women vote, stupid?

Yeah, you goofy bitch.

Yeah.

That's good.

That would be pretty good.

Is she the suffrage person?

No, Susan Banthe made the flag.

Who did suffrage?

I thought Betsy Rossy Ross did the flag.

Susan Beatoff and the Black Blacks.

The best thing Beatoff did until losing to Donald Trump, the only thing they ever did was probably make a flag.

I think that's...

The flag's not that good.

I think it's an all-right flag.

I like the look of it.

It's fine.

Don't tread on me thing would have been cooler, the snake.

It's a badass flag.

How about a snake and it says, don't insert me into your ass?

We need those for pride.

Yeah.

No one talks about how harmful snakes, pride is for the snake population.

Yeah, they're not meant to be just shoving up.

They're constantly being shoved up.

Hot ass dudes' butts.

Breastfeeding each other.

There's a guy going down the street like, woo!

There's a snake python.

It's like his tail is slowly losing animation as it dies in his ass.

Well, you know what?

That's what snake, honest on the other side.

What are you doing to that snake?

And they're like, the gerbil got stuck.

Haven't you ever heard of the old lady that swallowed a fly?

Fuck.

Damn.

God,

have you ever had to put a snake in your ass to get the gerbil out, Adam?

No, that's never been a problem that I've.

But I do think that's a pretty creative solution to that issue.

Yeah, it probably is, isn't it?

Dude, you know what's so hard to find?

Your penis?

No.

In your pants?

No.

Yes.

I'm looking at it right now.

Fuck.

A Blu-ray copy of To Live and Die in L.A.

You can't stream it anywhere, and I really want to see that movie.

You should just torrent it.

I guess I should.

I should get back into torrenting.

Is the Pirate base still up?

Yeah.

It is?

I think.

Damn, I miss private trackers.

I remember when I was the steal everything lifestyle.

Ooh.

My teeth just started hurting real bad.

Indian food was a mistake.

No, it wasn't a mistake.

Now you're trying to get so much mileage out of this.

I was the one that.

Oh, shut the fuck up.

I was, guys, isn't it true that you're in the middle of the day?

If it was me, if it was me, there was

a pill to pay.

pet.

That's true, but we've covered that, Adam.

90.

And

I even so much.

How do you think this is pronounced?

What is it?

Nick's been on Tinder laughing at girls' names for the whole literally the entire show.

Before the show.

Nick's been swiping for them.

He was yelling at their profiles.

Yep.

Dating.

It's funny that now it's SJW where when it used to be bourbon.

Do you remember that?

Girls used to say they liked bourbon and travel.

Travel, sure.

Now they're all communist.

If you're not a communist, swipe left.

If you don't want to defund the police.

I think it's also where you're swiping.

Come to Queens.

Nobody's a fucking communist in Queens.

Yeah, everyone wants to be a police.

I'm on regular Tinder.

I'm on regular Tinder.

I fucked a few not-fat girls off there.

Thank you very much.

I fucked up.

Hands full of not-fat girls off regular Cinder.

Thank you very much.

Fat hands.

They should make a raya for fat people.

No, they shouldn't.

Famous fat girls.

You know what I'm in?

I don't give a fuck.

I'd be the cock of the walk in there, dude.

It's Bristol.

Raya is ice cream.

You wouldn't match.

No, you can't match with ice cream.

It'd be you, Don DeLoise.

He's dead.

Dom DeLouise.

The guy that plays Galfanagus's mom in baskets.

No, that's too old.

What's his name?

How am I forgetting his name?

The guy with the buck teeth.

Yeah, that guy's funny.

Buck Rogers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Buck Angel.

Buck Ang Angel.

Buck Angel's not fat.

Well, Buck Angel has

let himself go.

Really?

I don't know.

Has he gone fat?

That'd be sad.

Buck Angel's no.

looks like he's a fat.

The fat guy with a pussy.

Buck Angel looks like you before

you grew the hair out.

That's thank you.

Yeah.

So he's still sexy as fuck.

I have to say, and we've mentioned this before, the first time you Google Buck Angel naked on Google Images, it's one of the most amazing things you ever see.

I agree.

I agree with that.

Does Buck not want a cock?

Buck?

Yeah.

I don't know.

His name is Buck, and he came to fuck.

At this point, I guess he could have gotten a cock if he wanted one.

Yeah.

Some people don't want a fresh cock.

Well, shout out to Buck.

Buck Angel's an American pornographic film actor, producer, sex educator, and motivational speaker.

Should we hire him?

A motivational speaker.

You guys should

the little tiny microphone with the fingers tended being like, get your penis cut off say it with me G Y P Y

P

C O

G P

What's that stand for?

Get your penis cut off and where can you get it cut off?

And where can you stop?

Do you want to let us do the honors?

I don't know.

Where can you?

I'm not sure which at cushy dreams.com.com.

you can get your penis

cut off.

At Buck Angel, the Grim Reaper of the penises.

The penis reaper.

Well, Buck always never had a cock.

Yeah, why would that be Buck's cause?

Oh, no.

Buck's got a pussy.

Sorry, now I got to re-watch the thing.

His pussy.

Why?

I don't know, but

it just struck me, and now that's what's happening in my mind.

That's cool.

Yeah, you can

re-watch it real fast.

We'll talk about how you can get your cock chopped off of CushyDreams.com.

CushyDreams.com is the premier source of CBD flour and high-quality and genital reassignment surgery.

That's right.

Well, look, a lot of people are taking all these unnatural painkillers.

That's true.

Nick was talking about fentanyl.

You know, we're talking about all these opiates that are ruining us.

Well, if you need to get your cock chopped off, you might as well use something from Mother Gaia.

Yeah, something that came from the earth where all of the getting high part was taken out of it

by science.

Science took the part.

It's still technically from the earth.

But it's from the earth and it's the highest quality.

But it's a quality version of that.

And it's the highest quality version.

And by the way, what are you, some kind of little bitch

that fucking takes vape or gun?

I'm not a bitch.

No, you smoke that shit like a fucking grown-up.

So you

smoke the whole damn pack.

That's what my father taught me.

And what I like about Cushy Dreams is that it does come in packs.

You can get the little half-gram joints.

That's my choice.

Three pre-roll joints, an extraordinary smokable flour.

I love that colour.

Smell-proof and discrete packaging.

Boy, I wish I had that for my penis.

That's right.

Nick's dick is fucking rocking this place.

The packaging is indiscreet.

His dick is

fucking making me gag.

I don't bathe.

And there's a bunch of, it's permanently attached.

Part of my dick is colored the same color as my underwear from where it got glued to my underwear by old cum.

Right.

And I peeled it off, and so there's part of the Adidas logo back.

It smells horrendous.

Part of the Adidas logo.

Permanently, and there's a juice smile on it.

Wow.

Because I was feeding my dick juice.

You were watering your dick with juice.

Yeah.

And usually what I do to copy with that.

I did that at cushydreams.com, by the way.

Well, usually what I do to cope with that is just light up and spark a fat one gram joint of Cushy Dreams.

Full flower, full full spectrum full flavor available in create dream energy and hustle hustle peace and relax oh i love peace and relax i love to spark that shit up

choose your mood bro you go here we got the eight three fifth three

three point five

grams oh whoa grams those are just metrics grams yeah we got an eighth for you one eighth oz cans of beautiful bud and you can choose your can

That's my favorite part: is pressing the button that says choose your can.

And I go here and it says dream flower, and I click, I click select strength.

And I'm gonna put in that I'm basically one of the strongest guys

that use this stuff.

So

choose an option, ultra premium, and then we're gonna leave there's a number you can add in here.

And I'm gonna hit the plus button.

We're gonna max this out.

Okay.

And see how much.

Let's see if I if I put a th one a twelve eighty.

Add the card.

You're going to purchase

1,280

grams.

Add the card.

Sorry, 3.5 grams.

And it says please select some product options.

Ultra premium, done.

Okay.

That's awesome.

Oh, and it's 424 is the amount I'm allowed to add.

Okay.

So now I have 424 items in my card.

Check this out.

For only $21,200.

Using promo code, we're going to go to checkout right now.

What does it go down to?

Oh, what's that?

What's that $21,000 go down to after promo?

Let's see here.

Where's the promo code?

Where's your order postal code?

I don't see where.

I can't wait till you accidentally buy $21,000 worth of C V D.

Oh, have a code.

Click here to enter your code.

What is it?

Come town?

Come town.

20.

I think it's just Come Town.

Come town.

Apply coupon.

Coupon code applied successfully.

And let's see.

Here we go.

How much?

Coupon Cometown, it removes $4,240.

That's a great fucking deal.

You hear that, folks?

I just woke up.

I just found a way to get $4,000 worth of weed for free.

Yeah, weed doesn't get you.

That's essentially it.

Basically, for free.

$4,000 just by using our promo code.

And And you can turn around and you can sell that $4,000.

You chop it up and sell it as the half-grand pre-rolls.

We told them to do this last week.

Oh.

We did weekly.

Yeah, I just remembered.

Maybe we did.

That was with Kratom.

That was with Kratom.

Yeah.

We're businessmen now.

We're businessmen.

This is part of the Buck Angel business strategy.

Yeah, if you take our seminars out and bust.

That's right.

CushyDreams.bussy.

CushyDreams.bussy.

CushyDreams.bussy.

And

I can't believe this, dude.

$4,000.

Wow.

I'm winning in the cash flow business.

That's so awesome, bro.

And you can check it out at cushydreams.com and use the prone code Comtown.

And you can join our newsletter to receive 15% off for an extraorder.

An email exclusive coupon code.

I mean, so another coupon code.

And their news letter is interesting.

The newset.

That's what they call it.

They call it the

weed beacon.

Most of those newsletters that I'm signed up for, I want to unsubscribe to.

I've had them subscribe to the cruise letter

and it's all about finding guys not night at the park no it's not you are subscribed no it's about carnival cruises norwegian cruises it's about different cruises you can go on and america's back open for business and i want to learn about the different options that we have i like getting stuck on a wood

i like being on a boat yeah with other straight

guys

only other straight guys you go on a little rowboat filled with gay guys and they fuck you in the ass.

You go to the little boat in Central Park and you say, it's international waters.

I'm not gay here.

And then you get your ass fucked in that little rowboat.

That's right.

Intersmational waters.

Yeah.

Yeah, and listen, you know, you buy Cushy Dreams, but also you go to, you should fucking buy some shirts at stavi.biz and buy some tickets to my upcoming tour.

Fucking, it's about to kick off.

Patreon.com slash Cometown to find about exclusive access to information on where the show is.

You can go to stopby.biz slash tour for access as well if you don't have the Patreon.

And we're going to be in Portland, Seattle, Utah, fucking

Minneapolis, Denver, San Antonio.

I might try and add some other Texas states.

I've added New Orleans, Cleveland, Phoenix, Madison, Detroit.

That sounds good.

Tampa.

Some of the best cities I would know.

And Boston.

Boar State.

And I'm working hard to keep adding shows throughout the beginning of next year, but come out and see your boy.

Come out and suck my fat little titties.

Or just buy a shirt, you know?

Yes.

And suck a dick also.

Absolutely.

Try penis if you haven't.

What?

Try sucking penis if you haven't.

At your show?

Just in your life.

Alright.

I'll let you know.

I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to everybody.

Okay.

Philadelphia cream cheese.

Let's get into it.

Where do they get the nerve?

Thank you.

Thank you so fucking.

Do they get the nerve?

Who do they think they are?

As if there's a fucking single piece of Philadelphia history or cuisine that would warrant cream cheese.

Yeah.

Who the fuck wants a bagel from Philadelphia?

Not me.

Tell me about it.

How did that even fucking start?

Clifford the Big Red Dog?

No.

No.

No, come on.

Clifford the Big Dog?

Fine.

Clifford the Red Dog?

Fine.

So you think it's too many adjectives?

They got too much going on.

One or the other.

Clifford the Little Gay.

And do they ever explain why the dog is so big?

No.

They don't.

This is Cuomo's.

This is Cuomo's daily press briefing.

Is that still going on?

Yeah.

Wasn't it like an emergency thing during COVID?

No, he's still doing it.

He's addicted.

He loves it, dude.

Yeah.

He loves getting due some time.

We're going to figure out the right questions to ask

regarding the size of the dog.

Is he big or is he red?

You can't have both.

Thank you.

You have to follow the data.

So presidential.

It's going to be awesome if he runs for president.

Yeah, he's going to win by so much.

I'm going to suck his dick.

The dogs, Mr.

President?

When I sucked his dick,

and the dog, he came in my mouth.

Clifford.

Clifford fucked me in my ass.

Listen here, Jack.

Is that so?

He's a good dog.

He's a good dog.

He didn't know what he was doing.

And he bent me over and he fucked me in my ass.

He fucked my ass.

Clover came over and gave me top.

You say.

He's a throwback.

Fuck.

I wish there was somebody else to talk like.

Instead of the same five fucking guys over and over.

What about Liza Minelli?

I don't know what she's saying.

Yeah, you do.

You were doing it before the show at the Indian restaurant.

Was I?

Yeah.

I think I was just doing the waiter.

I just think I was trying to speak to him in

his native tongue.

Yeah, that was really embarrassing, dude.

Well, I thought I could guess it.

It seemed like a guessable language.

That was English, just in an accent.

No, I was like,

and he's like, excuse me, and I was like,

if you just lower your volume, I'll listen to him on the phone

late at night when they're driving a car.

When they're driving the car, taking a quiet phone call.

Taking a quiet, sensual phone call.

That's the worst part of it.

They have a very sensual way.

They sound romantic.

Yeah, and it's like kind of grading.

It's usually their brother.

Yeah, they're like, you know,

there's always

sounds like they're licking the other guy's ear.

I think they ever beat off while driving.

Yeah.

Yeah, Yeah, for ladies.

That's awesome.

We've never seen it because we're guys.

And they have respect.

For girls, though.

I feel like

well, New York schools are returning the in-person learning starting June 30th.

Isn't it summer break?

Ending June 30th.

They're returning

August 31st.

And you know what that means, folks?

It's time to start thinking about school supplies.

Yeah, about brought to school shopping.

Protractors.

Spiral notebooks.

Trapper keepers.

Trapper keepers.

A gun for some students.

Gun if you didn't get any pussy, and it's time for the world to pay.

I watched that interrogation of that Nicholas Cruz kid.

Who's that?

The kid that shot up the Parkland School.

Damn.

It's really embarrassing.

What's he talking about?

Well, he's just like, he's like, oh, the freaking voices, man.

The detective's like, oh, yeah, the voices made you do it.

Oh, he's trying to, you think he's trying to act crazy?

He's trying to act like crazy, but he's saying, like,

you know, I mean, it's like watching like Lloyd Christmas get into.

I'm a freaked up guy.

I'm messed up, man.

No, there's a demon, and he tells me what to do.

The cop's like, so

what is, I mean, what has he told you to do other than the shooting that's bad?

He's like, nothing.

Jack off to Gayporn.

Demon is trying to see my penis.

He's a bad boy.

Nicholas Cruz?

Yeah.

Is he in jail?

No, they let him out.

They let him escape.

Guess what he's doing now?

What?

Principal of the school.

He got off on a technicality.

They call it

one of the Cosby mysteries.

Damn, Bill's out and about.

They should reboot Cosby mysteries, and he and Felicia Rashad have to investigate the women that are falsely accused of murdering.

Yeah,

they just take each case each week.

It's a procedural, and they debunk all the

women's claims.

Just Cosby and Felicia Rastad standing in the front in peacoats, and then next to them are like Ice T and Lil Boozy and detective outfits.

And Tariq Nasheed.

Yeah, Tariq Nasheed.

Oh, Ice T was.

Oh, with their family

arms crossed.

Yeah.

And it's Law and Order.

Cosby Mysteries.

Ice T was pro-Bill?

No, he's just a crossover from

the city.

Yeah, they just had to have one character from the Law and Order universe.

Richard Belzer is also on the chest.

Yeah, Richard Belzer is a big,

truly believes in cosmos.

I've been looking into this Eugene Carroll woman, and I got to say, I think she's a lunatic.

I think this woman might be not so for bust, though.

That's what they used to call him

back in the summer of Free Love.

Right.

Me, Richard Belzer,

my first year in comedy, 1947.

I did seven open mics, and now I've been on every cop show for the last 400 years.

It's true.

I haven't taken the sunglasses off because I got a corneal tattoo of a swastika while I was drunk.

Whoa.

I don't know if that's true.

It's true.

Nobody can see my eyes.

It's true.

I've never seen his eyes.

He has the same eyes as Adam.

Ew.

What do you mean?

Gorgeous eyes.

Fuck.

Green eyes.

No, look a little.

Somewhere my eyes little dinosaurs.

It is dinosaur-like.

Come on, man.

That's a great.

You know, that's a trope.

That's a trope.

Because dinosaurs are lizard-like.

Whoa, you brought the lizard.

You're doing a trope.

You're the one that said you look like a Jew lizard monster, man.

No, I didn't say.

I never said that.

You kind of implied it.

You implied it.

No, you brought it up by saying my gorgeous eyes are dinosaurs.

All I said is that you're gay and I get more pussy than you.

That's not possible.

It's literally not possible.

How is it not possible?

Because I'm in a stable relationship.

He does have some fucked up.

Yeah, you're in a stable relationship, and then you visit the stable to get fucking your ass out.

Your boyfriend, the horse.

That makes me fucking bad.

By your boyfriend, Dream Horse.

No, you get fucked by it.

You dream about it.

I watch Dream Horse, and I say, this is touching.

No, you watch Dream Horse.

Actually, I'm sorry.

The Dream Horse is a movie about you dreaming about getting fucked up.

Nick, let's do a Dream Horse review.

So what's the basic plot?

You want to

break that down for us?

Yeah, a couple of British people

pool their resources.

Oh, we talked about this movie.

Yeah.

Oh, they all buy a horse.

So about Secretariat.

Oh.

Okay.

I've never seen it.

I've never seen it.

I saw a war horse.

You're thinking of Sea Biscuit, not Secretariat.

Secretariat was an actual horse.

Sea Biscuits.

They made a movie, I think, Secretariat, too.

When?

I don't know, I think they did, though.

I am thinking of Sea Biscuit, though, you're right.

Sea Biscuit with Toby Maguire.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a pretty cool movie.

Sounds like a little cunt biscuit.

Yeah.

You know, like a little biscuit made out of cunt.

Remember

that era?

What era?

Before the communist ladies in New York, a bunch of women were making food out of their pussies.

Yeah, pussy food.

Bread.

Yeah.

Yeah, cheese and yogurt.

That wasn't that widespread.

No, pretty much every

single woman.

About a company called Widespread, Spread, and it's cream cheese made by Stop.

Yeah.

Okay, that's a good name.

Wide Man.

On the front, I don't think anyone would think that.

Spreading cream cheese.

You know what?

It would be a pussy-themed cream cheese.

Yeah.

Spread eagle.

Spread eagle.

Yeah.

It would be a chick with.

Oh, dude, that's the mascot, the spread eagle.

The spread eagle.

It's an eagle carrying a little thing of cream cheese.

And he's like, follow your nose.

You know that there was a school.

pussy.

Yeah, see, this is a great business.

Thank you.

Just 2K with the whole front of his face and a woman's pussy.

And he's like, In here, children.

That's all.

I found it.

I found it all.

Kids, come out, come look.

It's all the way in here at the back of the pussy.

Oh, look at that.

Sam Diego one.

2K and Sam

eating fruit loops out of a woman's cervix.

She was hiding the cereal in here.

She's got cereal all the way on the back of her pussy

Come follow me children Follow me

like wings flapping.

Yeah, yeah, some woman at a restaurant screaming.

Yeah, this is a British bird with his whole face in her pussy assaulting her sticking his beak that's gotta feel

that's gotta feel bad to get a beak in your pussy.

I'm having sex

technically.

I'm getting puffer.

But Toucan Sam would have been doing it for the cereal.

We all know he's gay.

Why?

How are you going to say that?

He seems gay.

Why?

Because Froot Loops?

That's like a gay sound.

You can cram my penis into you.

I think that's pretty fucking prejudiced.

No, Toucan Sam.

Fruit Loops, sure, that's part of it.

I'm not going to lie.

I'm not going to deny the subtext there.

You don't have to be gay to have Fruit Loops, dude.

But his...

whole manner is of that of a homosexual.

You're thinking about Zazu from The Lion King, not too much.

They're similar.

They're very similar.

Gay birds.

They're very similar.

Yeah.

I'm glad they gave.

Zazu's definitely gay as well.

2K and Sam is also gay, mostly because he's British.

Zazu.

They're both British.

Is 2K and Sam British?

Yeah.

I would like it if you would misazu my penis.

Why would you like that?

Because it would feel good.

I'd be like, this is...

It's weird.

It wouldn't feel good.

It would be weird, man.

We couldn't be normal friends again.

That's true.

You know, it would just mess up our thing.

That's true, I guess.

But at the same time, you should suck my dick.

Why should I do that?

It'll change everything.

Because not for me, I don't value you right now.

That's really mean.

You would just become a fuck toy for me.

That's really hurtful.

You would elevate.

You would really hurt.

You would elevate yourself as a fuck toy.

Now Nick's playing with the board.

I like those sliders.

Yeah, that's good.

They're fun.

Yeah, they're fun.

I'm really about to take a Vinda nap.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Would you say you're the Vinda

you're fat?

You put on a song to help us wake up a little bit for the last 15 minutes.

I don't know where the fucking wire is.

Oh, dude, we lost the wire.

We lost the wire.

We can't even have a song.

I love the songs.

I see it right there.

On the floor.

It's right

between your legs.

I'm good at it.

I got a cease and desist letter from Sony BMG telling me that if I play any of their music again, they're going to dispatch former IDF people to

follow me around and gather as much dirt as they can on me.

Oh, and so you should do it.

Gang stalk me.

You should do it.

Just tell them to suck your dick.

That's kind of like what Weinstein was doing, right?

Unless you're scared of the IDF.

I'm not scared of them.

Nick is.

That's why I won't play fucking.

Maybe I'll rewatch Munich

later.

I haven't seen Munich since it came out.

Munich and Argo.

I'll do a double feature.

That's a nice double feature.

Yeah.

I've got to watch Munich.

I've never seen it.

You know what I haven't seen Munich?

I haven't seen The Good Shepherd.

I haven't seen the fucking.

What's the one with Chris Cooper?

Superman.

The spy movie.

He plays like Tinker.

Tinker Taylor Soldier Penis.

No.

Penis Soldier, fuck my ass.

But Tinker Taylor, I haven't seen in a while, which I would rewatch.

The one, the Le Carrier movie that came out more recently that's pretty good is the Bridge one.

Yeah, The Bridge of Spies.

The Bridge of Spies.

I thought it was great.

Yeah.

Steven Spielberg made it.

Yeah.

Is Tom Hanks in that?

Tom Hanks is spies.

I'm spying on your penis.

He plays a lawyer for a Russian story.

What about Tom Yanks?

I spy with my little eye.

Tom Yanks, he's jacking you off.

I'm jacking you off in the airport.

I'm sending you an email and jacking you off.

I'm cast away to Epstein's Island,

the original draft of the screenplay.

No, I don't want to have sex with kids, but

I'm stuck out here.

I might as well.

I'm dying for maids, and I'm going to jack you off.

Damn, imagine getting shipwrecked on Epstein's Island in the middle of a child sex ceremony.

And then you have to escape them because they're they're trying to kill you because they've seen you fighting

most dangerous game eyes wide castaway surviving the game wide castaway yeah

a classic iced tea movie that's a great iced tea movie dude that movie fucking is awesome surviving the game surviving the game yeah never seen it

um

that's our come town recommendation for the league

you're gonna sit down and i know you guys you get a lot of free time and you get off work and your job at

I don't know where you guys work, Cheesecake Factory or something.

Yeah.

And you're going to sit down and you're going to watch Bridge of Spies, The Good Shepherd,

Bridge of Terabithia, A Wrinkle in Time, The Covenant.

A Wrinkle in My Nuts.

The Covenant.

The secret is which wrinkle.

Raisin in the Sun.

Because all my nuts, my nuts are basically all wrinkles.

Fences.

The color purple.

The color purple.

The babe.

The babe series.

No, the babe movie starring John Goodman as Babe Ruth.

Should have cast a fucking Dominican.

He's pretty good.

They gave him a fake nose in it.

He looked a lot like Babe Ruth.

Did he?

Yeah.

Did he get pussy?

Why should they have cast him?

He's been a Dominican.

Because Babruth's Dominican.

Was he?

There's like a rumor that he was a black man.

You see a picture of him when he's old.

The fucking Hebrew Israelites.

Look at a picture of him.

I mean, I've seen pictures of Babe Ruth.

That's a black guy to me.

And he used to go to Harlem and get a little bit of brown sugar.

Is that so?

Yeah, he was really into it.

Babe Ruth old.

I'll suck on your dick.

How about a guy named Rape Booth?

He's He's a very good baseball player.

Tell me this guy doesn't look Dominican.

Check this out.

I mean,

the answer is no.

That's a black guy.

No.

Come on, that's an old guy.

Let me see.

You tell me this guy isn't Dominican?

Yeah, he's black.

That's an Afro-Latino.

Yeah.

Maybe he was a socialismo.

He's playing for Los Janquis.

Poca Socisto de Socialism, man.

That's true.

Alright, folks.

Well, try to stay cool out there.

Ty Cobb said some shit about him.

He said Rape Booth is...

What?

What?

That would be mean.

That would be a mean name for him.

Rape Booth.

If you played in those days of Murderer's Row, or was that pre-Murderer's Row?

He was right before Murderer's Row, right?

What is that?

The 1928 Yankee.

What is the Murderer's Row?

I thought it wasn't it later on with baseball mantle and shit.

I have no idea.

I don't care.

It's some gay New York thing.

Baseball can suck my dick.

All right.

This is Bethany Frankl from Just Be with Bethany Frankl.

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