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That's it, Grommet.
Suck me off.
That's right, Gromit.
Fuck my ass.
Keep sucking, Grommet.
That feels good, Grommit.
It feels good to get my penis licked by a dog.
Very good, Grommet.
Fuck my ass.
Watch out, Grommit.
Those chickens are gonna fuck my ass.
You better fuck it first.
I don't remember the plots to any of you,
Wallace and Grommet.
Yeah, this one opens and Grommet.
Wallace is reading the newspaper, and Gromit's like looking scared at the breakfast table.
And then he drops the newspaper down.
He's like, Grommet!
And Grommet's like, you know,
like
the cereal bowl kind of shakes.
He's like, did you know I don't know how to read?
I'm looking for pictures of guys' cocks in here.
I've got a new invention.
And he turns the newspaper around, and there's just a picture of a guy's
big printout of a guy's.
Isn't this awesome?
It's a way to look at gay porn instead of reading the newspaper.
If you don't know how to read, Gromit, who can look at a guy's penis?
That's a great invention, isn't it, chap?
In fact,
I've come up with another invention while looking at it.
It's my cock.
It's my cock, and it's getting hard, Gromit.
It's hard.
And then he puts on the pants and walk for him and
to go like three feet across the room.
With his hard dick.
And his dick's just posing.
And every time
his dick is bouncing a little bit on his balls.
And then his dick's hard and grommet's face.
You know what to do, Grommet.
It's that time, Grommet.
It's pretty, Grommet.
Somebody needs a serving of my cum grommet.
And he's like, what's a dick suck without a little bit of cheese?
I'll get the cheese from the cabinet so you can suck my dick, grommet.
That's awesome.
Yeah,
like a diving board every time it takes a step.
He's got a really nice hard dick.
And now with the cheese, does he kind of catapult it?
He opens up the
cabinet and there's no cheese.
Oh,
fuck.
Come on, man.
You write for television.
I know that man.
I don't remember Wallace and Gromit.
Gasp!
Grommet, there's no cheese.
There's no cheese here.
Maybe the mice took it or something.
It's been stolen by blacks.
Wait, what?
I think
it had to be stolen by somebody,
and I'm assuming it's the new Caribbean neighbors.
I'm going to go over and
I'm going to go next door and ask.
Somebody forgets to put his pants on.
Remember,
an insert of all the newspapers?
Sex criminal who fucks his own dog, arrested for indecent exposure for racist attack on the Caribbean family, accusing them of stealing his cheese.
Wallace is in jail.
Grandma's having to take care of the house, make things meet.
Right, he's gonna he's gotta find other guys to suck off because now he's addicted to it.
And then Wallace gets jealous.
He has to run out, you know, go one of the bedrooms to
like a cat or something.
Yeah.
Right, right, to make to make rent.
And they fuck the cat, maybe.
No, then there's a woman that lets her cat eat her pussy or something.
That's good.
Or the Chinese neighbors that try to eat the cat.
And it vindicates.
So this is like kind of a grittier.
Is your mic on?
I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.
Hello?
No, you're not.
Well,
I guess we'll just have to.
What'd you do?
Well, in classic Adam style, you've done something.
I haven't done anything.
I was on the last episode.
Yeah, I know, but you took your headphones.
You did something, for sure.
And now you've derailed all the awesome momentum we had on Gay Wallace and Grommet, dude.
Notice how...
Check, check.
Now I'm on.
No, I'm on.
Notice how me and Stop, no problem whatsoever.
Yeah.
No, whatsoever.
Stop sufficient, guys.
Grommet, you have to get me out of jail so I can fuck you, Grommet.
Grommet's like trying to make him keep his voice down.
He's like, what's that?
You want to suck my dick right now?
You just got to throw the bars.
Everybody.
The prisoner is like, what are you doing, mate?
I'm fucking my dog.
I'm an inventor.
So is he fucking the dog behind the dog sucks?
Grommet's begrudgingly licking his penis.
Right.
In big, like, ice cream style licks.
Yeah.
You can do better than that, Grommet.
He's been doing this since he was a pup, you know.
We went to the moon together.
Was it all the inventions are like Steve and Punk, kind of, right?
The man who molests dog,
a man arrested for racial attack and dog sex,
led off by reason of insanity
after announcing he went to the moon to fuck his dog, and they were attacked by a vending machine.
They have a romantic picnic with his dog lover.
Now, what are some other plots?
There were some chickens, right?
That's the movie Chicken Run.
There's three.
As far as my memory can recall, there's three Wallace and Grommet movies.
So there's no chickens involved in Wallace and Grommet at all.
No, that's Chicken Run.
That's Chicken Run.
Wow.
Maybe I've never seen Wallace and Grommet.
No, is there something with...
There is something.
Yeah, I never watched it.
I only know that girl that gave me a butt job looked like Wallace and Grommet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there was...
That girl that let me do the hot dog and the bun.
And you busted on her back?
Now you're horny posting again.
You're pulling us away from Mariah.
I'm sorry for being horny.
Wait, wait, wait.
I feel like horniness is.
I think the COVID status is such a great public horniness.
Did you know I had sex one time?
Yeah.
No, it wasn't sex.
Where did you come?
No, we eventually started having sex.
She woke me up by
giving me a butt shot.
Oh, I see.
I see.
I'd say if the genders were reversed, it would have been inappropriate.
Why?
Because I was.
But the genders are reversed yeah you are not the lady yeah you are she both look listen is it inappropriate to get hard and have your dick between a girl's butt cheeks when you're both in a consensual some kind of relationship she got into the bed i was sleeping in oh really yes oh i see yes yes so i'm saying if a guy did that to a girl who sleeped and you had never you had never hooked up or you weren't and we had never hooked up really no so i'm saying if the genders were reversed it would have been well that's female privilege yeah it is female privilege.
They get to rape just a bit.
Women get to rape just a little bit more.
And that's fair.
To rape.
They get to just
sort of rape.
Yeah.
And I think all things considered, that's fine.
That's fine.
It's not ideal.
Yeah.
That's where
the 27 cents of their paycheck goes to.
Oh, I see.
Wow.
To rape privilege.
Rape privilege.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Sorry, where were we with
Gromit getting
the dog?
Lick the top, Grommet.
Put my whole penis in your mouth, Grommet.
That's it, Grommet.
A little bit of teeth.
Show me what you're working with.
Just every once in a while.
Go ahead and break your neck on it, Grommet.
Take it to the base, Grommet.
I want to see you.
Your eyes water, Grommet.
That'd be cool.
A dog could probably lick your ball.
Lick my balls, but you suck on my shaft, Grommage.
That doesn't sound like him.
Throw it all the way down and then lick on the ball.
That sounds like fucking.
Yeah, you're doing the graph.
But I'm doing the voice that you guys are doing.
No, you're not.
You're doing it wrong, Adam.
Adam, you're actually gay.
Oh, I back up.
Wallace.
He's ruining the bit, Grommet.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Stop didn't even see the show.
Yeah, but I'm a fucking natural, bro.
I know.
I'm
a show about
sucking a guy getting his cock sucked by.
I'll learn fast.
You don't need to see the show.
I'll get up to speed fast.
You're an awesome.
You're a real pro.
I just want to acknowledge.
Thank you.
There's three shorts.
The first one.
They go to the moon because the moon's made it.
They run out of cheese, so they go to the moon.
Maybe I've seen that one.
And they fly to the moon, and then there's a vending machine that lives on the moon
that,
you know, I guess he wants to go to Earth to go skiing or something.
Okay.
And so he keeps trying to attack
Wallace, and then eventually they go back to Earth.
The second one, they have to
rent out a room to make ends meet.
And it's also Gromit's birthday, so Wallace makes those pants to walk for him
to walk Gromit automatically because he's too lazy to walk his own dog.
Wow.
I don't actually remember that.
I just remember.
I remember from the bit you just said earlier.
The penguin rents out the room.
And Gromit doesn't trust the penguin, but Wallace is an idiot.
Right.
The penguin steals the pants so that he can walk up the side of a bank and break in and steal money out of the bank.
Damn.
Respectful.
And so the penguin is the Jewish landlord.
He gets blamed on
Wallace.
And he goes to jail?
Yeah, he goes to jail.
He does hard times.
Sorry, it's blamed on Gromet, and Gromet goes to jail.
The dog.
Or maybe, I don't know.
It's blamed on one of them.
Right.
Maybe
let's not get into details.
That's fine.
The third one, there's a bitch.
Oh, nice.
Oh, they get a bitch.
And Lily says a crush on.
And she yarns.
And we see her suck his cock on camera.
Yeah, she yarns her.
Her father, her deceased father was also an inventor.
So Wallace invites her over for cheese and crack.
Fucking Freud.
And she says that she doesn't like cheese.
Whore and fucking like whore.
Yeah, Wallace loses his mind.
And he beats her
to a pulp.
She pushed me, Grommet.
She was being a whore, Gromit.
What would happen?
She pushed my buttons.
Sometimes you should be allowed to hit a woman.
I'm a faggot.
Now get back to sucking my car.
Now I'm gay.
I'm gay and I'm a faggot.
I'm gay, because a bitch didn't like cheese, Gromit.
I'm Ryan Schott.
I'm Ryan Schott.
I'm Barack Obama.
And I'm Obama, and I'm gay, Gromit.
That happens in the third one.
I haven't talked to Shutt since he moved out.
Yeah, she owns a yarn store, and her dad was an inventor.
And she has a...
Dude, there's like a factory where the yarn is made.
Does she look like him?
him.
No, she looks like a she looks like him
There's a factory where the yarn is made or something and her dog is actually a robot
and the robot is grinding up sheep to turn into meat for him to eat for dog food.
Whoa.
Whoa, that's dark.
What the fuck?
Oh, you know what?
She's kind of hot.
Let me see.
Gwendolyn, right?
Can I see her?
I don't know.
Lady Campanula Toddington?
No, no.
Can I see a picture of that girl?
Because it might have been the girl that gave me the butt.
That's the girl that gave me the butt job.
She's kind of hunted.
Yeah, I know.
She's wearing a heavy red lip.
I like red hair.
I'm a fan of red hair.
No, it's this bitch, dude.
Oh, she stinks.
She's fucking gross.
Oh, fuck.
Ew, dude.
What's her name?
Wendolyn.
Wendolyn is a fucking dog.
Wendolyn is a certified fucking piece of shit.
I wouldn't fuck Wendolyn with your dick.
Wendolyn Ramsbottom?
Yeah, no.
I'm not Ramming no bottom, you fucking uncle.
Rams bottom.
What's up with Lady Campanula?
I'm trying to get my dick sucked on the bottom.
What the fuck's Lady Campanula?
That's from another one they did after the movies, I think.
Lady Campanula,
or I'm sorry, Lady Toddington.
Campanula Toddington.
Attending her vegetable garden.
These are her hobbies.
Holding vegetable competitions.
I got a fucking zucchini you can hold competitively.
Actually, not even.
For the love of the game.
It's a little one, but it's flavorful.
Uh family, no information.
Friends, Wallace Gromit Hutch.
Enemies Victor Quartermain, who looks fucking gay, honestly.
And Philip, who let's see what he looks like.
Oh, it's a fucked up dog.
Wow, if you ask me, Wallace should be trying to get pussy off lady, whatever the fuck her name is.
Yeah, this shit came out in 2005.
I don't know what the fuck this is.
Oh, they made a bunch more of them.
Dude.
Oh, wait.
He's got a different girlfriend, Chelsea Jose.
See what she looks like.
Yeah, I heard he was dating Grimes.
I heard Grimes is fucking Wallace.
Oh, wait, no, Chelsea Jose is a real.
He's just with him for the money.
Oh, Chelsea Jose is some guy named Matt Wallace.
A golfer named Matt Wallace.
Matt Wallace from Wallace and Gromit?
No, I think it's a golfer named Matt Wallace.
Oh, this was a whole movie.
Oh, they made a bunch of whole-ass Wallace and Gromit movies.
Really?
We got a lot to catch up.
Cracking contraptions.
It was 2002.
I don't know what the fuck this is either.
Oh, there's a beat.
There's a blonde BBW.
He seems to be.
He seems to be.
Wendelin is honestly fucking brutal.
Wendell
is fucking disgusting.
You little piece of clay.
How dare they make this bitch that unfuckable?
You know what I'm saying?
It pisses me off.
It pisses me off, dude.
I'm mad.
That's Adam's ideal woman.
No.
That's Emo Phillips.
She does have an Emo Phillips ass haircut.
Damn.
The fat blonde lady could get it, though.
You know what I'm saying?
What's her name?
I'm trying to think of a real-life equivalent of Wendelin.
A matter of life and death.
What the fuck is the blonde bitch's name, though?
I see her pictures, but I don't see her name.
Oh, fuck.
Bless you.
Bless you, friend.
You know, when I watch Wallace and Gromond, I can't help but think there might be something wrong with the idea of a man letting a dog suck his piece.
And
that's why I have to call my insurance company, Liberty Mutual.
Okay, so apparently the blonde.
All the Zoomers that all of our biggest
don't know anything about Wolford Brimley.
No.
Oh, and they're worse off for it.
Yeah.
Your Lancets, your Medicaid.
You get crushed as a guy just being like diabetes.
Yeah, you say diabetes.
Paella Bakewell.
She's a BBW.
She makes some pies.
She looks like she could suck a nice prick.
So I like her better.
That's who you'd get head from.
No, no, the redhead, bro.
The redhead, for sure.
Universe.
The redhead.
But I would take Paella Santa.
And Nick's
the dog.
Liberty Mutual protects you in the event of the money.
And you would fuck Wenthel and Ramsbottom.
You're ever accused of rape?
Really?
Yeah, Wolf of Brimley here.
As you know, several whores have accused me.
Several gold-digging whores.
I've been meeted by several sluts,
and they've come after me and my money.
Liberty Mutual killed all of them.
Call up.
Made them all disappear.
Pay $15 a month.
I called them up and I said, I'm being muted by sluts.
Meeted.
And they shot him with a sniper rifle from
350 yards away.
That's pretty cool.
Wow.
I would think you would want to make it look like an accident, Wilford.
A black accident.
No.
I mean, I guess.
Yeah.
What's a black accident?
It's what happened to that cop.
It was a black accident on the Long Island Expressway.
Your Greek friend.
Dude, R.I.P.
Anastasios.
Give a headsios.
Suck up.
Dude, respect the dead, brother.
Yeah, if you give a heads, yos.
We really go in.
This the Sunday episode coming up, we really take a deep breath.
Give a pussyos.
Which, if you want to listen to, you can check that out at Patreon.
Go to patreon.com.
We discuss the tragedy of the cop slash come town.
If you want to hear more about Wallace and Grommet.
Oh, yeah.
We do it.
We do our special Wallace and Grommet rewatch podcast.
Yeah.
Fuckless and pussy.
If you don't understand how the show works,
FLP.
FLP.
The fuckless and pussy.
Fuckless and pussy.
That's the name of our and the cats in the cradle and the service balloon.
Fuckless and pussy.
I got myself good with fuckless and pussy.
It's good.
Anyway, yeah, we do a full bonus fuckless and pussy podcast on there.
We do the bonus one first,
and then we get we eat too much.
And then we get real warmed up for the regular
one.
Because we want to be hot.
We're hot.
We're fucking.
For our advertisements.
We're basically tungsten right now.
This is just a
you know, this is just a vessel for ad sales.
Exactly.
You know, exactly.
We care about our sponsors.
DreamWorks pays us $8 million a week to advertise the Wallace and Gromit movies.
Yeah, I just got off the phone with Katzenberg.
Listen, we're trying a new way to make even more money.
We're going to advertise through Podcasts.
Jeffrey, what's wrong?
I just remembered.
I have trauma from it.
15 years ago, I was on my way to the grocery store, and when I got there, the coupon I had clipped out of the newspaper had fallen out of my pocket on the way to my car.
Are you okay, man?
And when I got home, it wasn't in the driveway.
Oh, my God.
And so I accused my servant of rape.
And they executed him.
What?
And they did it by electric chair.
And when they went, they found it in his pocket afterwards and it was
burned.
It was a justified burn.
And I couldn't use the coupon.
So, you know what I did?
I bought the entire grocery store and I had my own coupons just for me printed out that I can use.
Wow.
That's awesome, dude.
And sent to my house.
Anyway, so it's about
Wallace getting his penis sucked on by the door.
By the door.
And the message should be clear.
Christian children do this.
We want the whites and the blacks mixing
and then pitting them against each other.
Listen, listen, whatever you say, you write the check, we'll say whatever.
Find a way to squeeze in something about the Uyghurs.
What are these?
Because China's doing their own Palestine now, and people should be focused on that instead of...
And we're pissed.
Yeah.
It's taking our thing.
How dare they?
We should be focused on that Palestine, instead of the
classic
powers, the one that nobody cares about.
They really are.
They are the one that doesn't exist.
They're going the fuck off recently, Adam.
What do you have to say?
Listen,
I didn't get my briefing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To be clear, I didn't get my briefing before the show.
I normally get a briefing from Israel before every episode, and I didn't check my email before this one.
So I'm kind of lost.
But I say, you know what?
It's a complicated situation.
It's a complicated situation.
It's very complicated.
Really complicated complicated.
And there have been dealings with it.
I saw that there were clashes.
They've been having clashes.
It's a tough, complex situation.
And it's, you know, this has existed for 2,000 years.
This isn't going away anytime.
So true.
Yeah.
And
there were clashes.
Yeah, there were
even clashes between people trying to live in the home they've been for generations.
You saw that video of that guy,
the settler, being confronted.
Yeah, that guy from Brooklyn.
Yeah, the big fat guy.
Yeah, the fat guy.
If I didn't steal it, somebody else would.
With his classic Israeli accent, like a guy that's clearly been there for 20, like for 10 years or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah, that guy.
Maybe you should go back, Adam.
Go back?
What do you mean, back?
Back from where you came, from whence.
I'm not from Israel.
Yeah, but you didn't spend a lot of time there.
I've been there.
Yeah.
Didn't you do it?
You worked in like
construction.
So you could go back.
listen if you've been somewhere could you go back to it you had a job like blocking ambulances in gaza that was yeah that was your camp that you i yes well no i i drove uh bulldozers
you went to you at the israeli bulldozer camp i got a job on one of my dad's sites okay
listen call it nepotism it's fine but you accept that you could call you wanted you also had the skipper he wanted me to get a summer job okay so he put me on one of his crews his bulldozer cruise.
I didn't know, I was just following orders.
That's right.
You were just following orders.
Yeah.
But yeah,
the podcast, the come town podcast stance is Free Palestine.
Free Palestine, our official stance.
That's our
suck my dick.
Now, Gromit,
give me some dog pussy.
Now back to Waltz.
Now back to sucking my coffee.
I want some dog pussy, Gromit.
Gromit, look, I'm wearing my special underwear.
My Mac Weldon underwear, Gromit.
Makes my penis even more delicious, Gromit.
Mac Weldon is the official underwear of Wallace and Grommid.
I love pulling my cock out of my Mac Weldon underwear so my dog can suck cum out of it.
Uh-huh.
Mac Weldon is the official sponsor of Wallace and Grommit.
And the official sponsor of Getting Your Dick Sucked By Your Your Dog.
And fucking your dog.
If you're the kind of guy who fucks his dog, you'll love Mac Weldon underwear.
Well, I don't know if you guys know this, but when a dog, they have so many antimicrobes in their mouth.
Yeah, it's actually cleaner.
That's a nice pair of antimicrobials.
That's how I clean my penis.
So when you get your dick sucked by a dog, it's fucking sparkling clean.
And then guess what?
Good news,
because fucking Blue or Mac Weldon
has a fucking line of antimicrobial underwear.
So you get it from your dog's mouth, which is as clean as can fucking be, and you put it right into the antimicrobial underwear.
Your dick is pristine like it just came out of your mom's pussy.
It's it's which happened from birth, by the way.
I'm not insinuating you fuck your mother.
Which is one of the nicest ways to fuck a dog, by the way.
It's clean.
Clean, brother.
Clean dog fucker.
Clean.
You fuck the dog's ass or pussy first, then you put it in the mouth for a little rinse, and then you put it in your Mac Weldon silver antimicrobial line of underwear.
That's right.
And I have to say, folks, Mac Weldon has saved me this weekend because we had a bit of a plumbing issue in my apartment, and my landlord uses, I would say, maybe the worst, cheapest plumbers of all time.
And
my shower drain was slow, so we called the plumber, and somehow he clogged both showers in the apartment.
Not only did he not fix my slow shower, but it was clogged to the whole bit.
In your shower.
And now, and I had to spend the whole weekend without shower.
I only showered but once.
And thank God for Mac Weldon's underwear because it kept my cock smelling fresh.
Yes.
As fresh as can be in those circumstances.
And I got to say,
I wasn't too fresh.
Because it was also my brothers, my brothers were turning 30 this weekend.
So we went out and we ate like fucking animals.
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and my dick was unwashed.
And even still, thanks to Mac Weldon's high-quality underwear,
I smelled beautiful.
And that's what they call Preems Men's Essential Brand that believes in fucking dogs and high-quality fat cooks.
Thank you, Michael.
You may believe that fucking dogs is only for white women.
Right.
That's true.
So we're not going to argue with you.
You're right.
You know what?
I want to let you know that you you're not.
You can actually fuck dogs with Mac Weldon.
It is just for white women.
This isn't one of those ads that tries to tell you what you don't know.
Right.
That's right.
And so it's agreeing with you.
This ad just reaffirms.
Mac Weldon stands with the Indigenous and black women populations of color that rightfully acknowledge that white women fuck dogs.
Right, that's right.
Now that that's out of the way, by Mac Weldon.
That was for Canada, by the way.
We had to say that for Canada.
we'd like to do a land acknowledgement a dog pussy a dog penis acknowledgement a woman fucked a dog here
white woman a white woman back when this was a Shones yeah
in 1996
they're acknowledging a white woman fucked a dog here
Mac weldon officer stop shop for me's basics socks shirts hoodies underwear polos and active shorts whatever you need you know it's funny it's like it's probably some white lady's job to like clip these ads.
Like send them to the accounting department
to be like, yeah, they did
the ad.
I guess they did their rebuke.
They said this stuff, but they added a couple things.
And listen, I know about the Karen stuff.
I don't want to make a big.
But they're so bad.
Because women are like, we want jobs, and then they got jobs, and white guys are like, all right, well, we'll make up fake jobs.
That's right.
They make nine times the money and aren't even jobs.
We're just a couple steps ahead.
That's right.
That poor lady with her fake podcast.
Anyways.
True.
And you're going to want to get on the Patreon to find out about that.
Yeah, you find out about that story, which is we broke, by the way.
We broke it on the Patreon exclusively.
We broke it on the Patreon in four days.
In four days, five weeks after it happened.
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That's right.
I hate what I hate most about my other underwear is it's always changing size.
I hate that.
I prefer an underwear that
isn't the same that
fucks me in my ass.
Whoa, you sound hot, dude.
Sexually.
Mac Weldon.
Is this police?
Yes.
I'm gay.
Get him, boys.
Woo!
You can't get him.
We're tracing you.
Stay where you are.
I can't tell you who I am.
Sir, please, are you near any cock right now?
I have to suck tick to live.
Do you have any cock near you, sir?
The fabric technology, Macweldon, offers a wide range of customized fabrics and can keep you no matter keep you keep up with you no matter what your day looks like.
That's very interesting, sir.
But we're are you gabbing gay sex right now?
Come town or come town twenty.
I can't remember which.
I have information that'll lead to the sound.
Keep your ass and mouth where I can see them, sir.
I have information that'll lead to the arrest
of Mr.
Stavros.
No, you don't.
What?
No.
Take the shot.
Take the shot.
Take the shot.
I keep wanting him to take the hand.
What can I?
I don't understand.
It was a high.
I can't hear you anymore.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, turn your highs down.
I thought I was trying to figure out how to do that.
Oh, there you go.
That one's cool.
Yeah.
That's cool.
That's like...
It's what?
It's like Wendy goes, Kid Rock goes, get in the pit and try to love someone.
Get in the pit and try to suck my dick.
Yeah, that's cool.
Damn, that's a cool sound.
We should all sound like that.
You want to?
I do, not at all.
No, please cannot.
Yeah.
Okay.
Damn, hell yeah.
We're on the phone.
Get in the pit and try to love something.
What's up, everybody?
What the fuck is up?
This is clean, dude.
I like this sound.
Yeah.
We should fucking switch it up from now on.
Just sound like this always.
Yeah, so it's like me and Cyber having, we're old friends having a private phone call.
Right, and somebody's
recording it and talking to himself.
And then, you know, he's gone.
Oh, yeah, that's that's good.
There you go.
So as the FBI agent, does the FBI
I love having a secret phone call with my best friend?
Yep.
Yeah, and I'm the
one gay is listening.
No one gay is listening.
And if they are listening, I hope maybe they can remember the promo code for Macworld.
Right.
It's Come Town or Come Town 20.
It's Come Town or Come Town 20, and they have created a totally free loyalty program.
A level one gets you free shipping for life.
Once you reach level two, by spending $200, MacWalton gives you 20% off every order.
Incredible stuff.
I'm already a member.
It's a great deal.
And I'm about to go order.
You know what?
This just reminded me.
I'm about to order even more underwear for my cock.
That's great.
Yes, it is.
I really actually enjoy the way this sounds.
Is this better audio or not?
That's good to me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, shit.
That's me.
That's me.
Someone's recording from inside his own ass.
Who's that?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Wow, wow.
I like this.
Now he gets interrupted by himself.
Now he knows how annoying it is.
Okay, if you're digging small, talk with an echo.
We'll keep doing the rest.
Yeah, I guess we'll just keep talking.
Listen, if you guys...
That rule applies, by the way.
If you're digging small, talk with an echo.
If you guys
don't like the way this sounds and you want it fixed,
like here, we can do this.
That probably sounds annoying to you guys.
Oh, yeah.
People like that.
My right ear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you don't like the way this sounds,
in the right ear.
Patreon.com/slash content.
That's a great
feeling.
Yeah, if you want, uh, hey, what's up?
Mama, can I see your fucking dick?
Tell me, tell me a secret if you don't like the way.
Stop it.
Oh, that's not really annoying.
That's Nick's softly.
If you don't like that,
you can sign up for me.
You can sign up for the the Patreon, paragraph.
Sign up for the Patreon, you piece of shit.
Sign up and check it out.
Where the audio sounds like this, perfectly clean, every clean.
So clean.
No more bullshit.
Ain't nobody's sucking me.
My dick is fucking large.
It's like, no, it is small, small.
I have not gone have sex with you.
Yeah, anyway, MacWaldon, good underworld.
Even better piece of pussy, even better piece of pussy working the fucking boards over there.
Shut up.
If your dick is small, you got to talk with an echo.
Yeah,
we were giving them a little taste of what the
hearing might be.
I know.
You love it.
That's why we did it.
So now you know.
Now you know.
No, you're just very quiet.
Very quiet.
Quiet echo.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Versatility.
Guaranteed, MacWold wants to be comfortable.
If you don't like your first pair of underwear, you can keep them and they'll still refund you.
No.
Breastions at.
That's awesome.
I hate breastions, but I love breasts.
Breasts, the breast question.
You're listening to the breast question podcast.
Angela Lansbury, where Titty's Big.
Yup.
Next.
Let's discuss Arena.
Let's discuss.
We've found as many pictures of her from
her youth as possible.
Everybody knows murder she wrote, but murder she do she fuck?
Murder, she sucked.
Penis, she sucked.
Murder my penis, maybe.
Penis, she sucked.
Yeah.
You know, I'm looking at some young Angela Lansbury.
I would say her kids aren't big, but they're not small.
Angela Glansbury, and I bury my glands in her fucking desk.
I love that.
Yeah.
I really like that a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah,
you know?
Yeah.
Angela could get it.
Marissa Tomei.
Does she got does she suck dick?
Marissa Tomei, she wanted to suck me off.
Yeah.
Marissa Tomei.
Adam, relax, dude.
Can you?
We're having a conversation today.
I wish Marissa Tomei would give pussy to me.
So fucking true.
Maybe you don't know what I mean.
I do.
Yeah.
I read you loud and clear, Haws.
Nobody can make you normal.
Alright, there you go.
All right, I'm back.
You're back.
Nice.
Too loud, if you ask me.
Yeah.
Yeah, make me quiet.
Let's give you the little girl's voice.
Why?
I don't sound like a girl.
Whoa, that's perfect.
He sounds like a girl now.
Yeah, he sounds exactly like a sound.
What do you mean, I don't sound like a girl?
Whoa, dude, that's a great effect.
No, it's not.
Adam, is that you?
A four-year-old girl with a really small pussy walking.
Well, of course.
No, she's got a loose pussy.
No, I'm sorry.
With a really loose pussy walk.
With a loose pussy?
Yeah, she's got a huge loose pussy.
No, she just was born with a big pussy.
What's that?
Was that Trinidad James?
Yeah,
I was going to try and just see if I could find the little ad-lib from that song.
Tell me, this is one for my niggas.
That's close enough.
That's cool.
Oh, the ad-lib, which is just the ad-word five times.
Okay.
It's a great line.
It's a great, yeah.
One of my favorite.
I would definitely, you know what?
I would fuck Angela Lansbury in her youth, even though she always kind of had a bit of a good time.
I'll sweat.
Pops them all.
I'm sweating.
I suck dick and I fuck guys.
Yeah.
This song for them gay guys who fuck me this summer.
Suck the penis and I'm sweating.
Woo!
Damn, that song's probably like 10 years old.
That's so old.
That's wild.
Definitely.
Time just goes
Angel Lansbury.
It's funny how fast.
Are you still looking?
I'm just checking.
How fast time moves until it's time to do the podcast.
And then it just feels like.
And then it just feels like
it's a really good photo shot of an old woman with Angela Lansbury's face.
Spreading that pussy.
Spreading that pussy and that ass.
She looks like she's fucking like...
You know one of those raincoats that turns into a bag?
She looks like she's taking an air mattress out.
Fucking getting the air mattress ready for her grandchildren.
This one for my gay guy sucking penis all night.
She was kind of hot looking in one movie.
I don't know what it is.
48 hours.
No.
Samson and Delilah.
She's got a little bikini on.
Angela?
Angela, bro.
1949.
1949.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, we just won the war, dude.
Time for Angela.
Time for Angela.
To show some fucking Bush.
Now I'm looking at
Sally Kellerman's news.
Now I'm looking at Hedi Lamar.
Dude.
I would love to get Hedley.
Get Heddy from Hedi Lamar.
Adam,
why don't you run from 1932 damn she was showing titty in 1932 who Angela is no no Heddie Lamar let me see fuck you come on dude why don't you run you
the show while me and stop looking pornography all right for a change watched uh
dual double feature this weekend watch shut the fuck up what
coming to america midori is new i don't know who midori is is that the royal penis is cleanly the royal penis is clean yeah that's cool.
That is one of the coolest things
that's ever been said in a movie.
Yeah, I watched You've Got Male followed up by what Women Want.
How about You Got Braille?
And Meg Ryan is a blind woman.
And Tom Hanks is like, ah, here, eat this hot dog.
Don't use your teeth.
Yeah, just kind of put your lips.
I've had hot dogs before.
I don't think this is a hot dog.
It's a hot dog.
You've got Braille.
I'm raping a blind woman.
That would be a good take on the movie.
You've got Braille.
I'm gay.
I'm Tom Hanks, and I'm gay.
But I'm still raping this lady for some reason.
Well, the movie is like, I'll say this, incredibly enjoyable.
I love that movie, but morally incredibly questionable.
This guy destroys her career, destroys her.
You've gay sex.
You've
gay sex.
And then
he finds out that his friend from online is this woman that he's
gay.
And then
he continues to catfish her.
That's actually dick.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Go ahead.
Explain.
He continues to catfish her for months.
And then at the end of the movie, I sucked Cock.
You're gay.
I remember AOL.
Yeah, I remember that.
What the kinds of shit did the AOL guy say?
I am gay.
My dick is wrong.
I suck dick.
I suck dick.
You've got cock.
I'm just trying to find it.
This is what I typed in.
AOL Slate's gay meeting.
Deb, you had a meeting with AOL, Adam?
No.
I didn't have a meeting.
Interesting.
Anyway, so it's an incredibly enjoyable movie.
Also,
her boyfriend, before she gets with Tom Hanks, is Greg Kinnear, and he plays like a DSA.
You got mail.
Yeah, that was it.
He plays like the DSA cuck boy.
And he writes articles in the newspaper about how.
Hi, I'm Elwood Edwards.
And 22 years ago, I recorded a very well-known catchphrase for AOL.
Okay.
I'm sucking a guy's cop.
Ha, I'm Graham Elwood.
And 15 years ago, I contracted HIV
while having sex with children.
I couldn't go to the...
I didn't know who to tell.
So anyway.
On the one hand, I was molesting kids.
On the other hand, I didn't want to die of AIDS.
One of them gave me AIDS, I guess.
I accidentally fucked a child with AIDS.
You're right, remember.
So we were kind of even on that.
Oh, you wanted me to talk about my time at AOL?
I thought you just meant...
Okay, all right.
Yeah, I said the thing.
It sounds like you're making fun of me.
I just got an email.
You've got mail.
Whoa.
Hello.
Welcome.
It all started when my wife Karen, who worked for Quantum Computer Services, overheard Steve Case talking about adding a voice to the then upcoming AOL software in 1989.
So she volunteered my voice and on a cassette deck in my living room, I recorded the phrases that you've come to know, such as the...
Hey, hey, Ella, look what we got.
We've got emails.
You've got mail.
So I went on to record, welcome.
You've got mail.
Files done.
Goodbye.
And what started off as a text
has continued to this day.
So that's the story behind the catchphrase, which, well, I have a certain amount of trouble trying to escape.
Hey, Elwood, no one gives a fuck about your face.
Let me guess.
You got a new email?
Goodbye.
Damn, what a cool video to produce.
You've got mail.
You've got mail.
You shaved your ass for me.
You fucked my ass.
Who produced that video?
Can I see your pussy?
AOL's in-house.
And by pussy, I mean penis.
AOL was doing comedy videos like 20 years ago.
I remember that.
Remember that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they had like Alec Baldwin and shit.
I don't remember that, actually.
Yeah, they did.
I knew a couple comics that wrote for AOL.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
Didn't Giannis have like a sports show on AOL or some shit?
Possibly.
You've sucked cock.
Yeah.
Oh, this is.
You've turned gay.
Hold on.
This is great.
I've discovered this by accident, but this is
one of the most depressing headlines I've ever seen in my life.
Guy who voiced AOL's You've Got Mail could be your next Uber.
Oh, no.
No.
Brandy Barker hopped in an Uber and got the surprise of her life.
No, she didn't.
When Elwood Edwards.
Who the fuck would know?
Elwood Edwards.
Stupid name.
How about Elwood N-Words?
Yeah, lesbian.
No.
To your question, the answer is no.
Come on.
It's his name.
Okay.
No.
Overruled on that.
Hypothetical.
What's your name?
My name's L.
Word Edwards.
You've got mail.
You've got pussy.
Oh, shit.
You know what?
He drives an Uber now?
He drives an Uber and he doesn't have enough money to afford or put money into his Ridge wallet, which he can't afford.
Wow.
Because it's so affordable.
It's going to be very affordable, but not not cheap.
Right.
Well, the best thing to be.
The best thing.
When things are cheap.
Quality but affordable.
Quality but affordable.
Graham L.
How funny it's in this picture.
He just didn't have pants on.
He's like, walk.
We've been pinching pennies here since my last job in 1995.
I kind of got drunk with power after the AOL thing and started beating my wife and cheating on her.
Which I did.
I used to say the catchphrase into girls' pussies.
You've got mail,
you've got gonorrhea.
File done.
I fucked Angela Lansbury off that.
You got pussy from Lansbury?
Yep.
Damn.
Y'all.
The recording, a test tape, was accepted and has since become recognizable to nearly anyone who used the internet in the 90s or watched a certain Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks film.
Good movie.
Big Penis.
Whoa, big penis.
My dream is to have a big penis.
Isn't that what happens in that movie?
Yeah.
I want to play a piano with a big piano with my big dick.
Yeah.
We're going to.
I need surgery to make my dick big enough to play piano with it.
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom.
Oh, wait, is that the?
No.
No, that's the.
Just stick your big dick on the piano.
Big ass dick on the piano.
Just take your bed back and shove it in my ass.
Put your balls on the ivory keys.
Just fuck me.
I'm a foul.
Fuck me in my ass.
That old times are cockam gay.
What are we talking about?
Ridge wallet.
Bridge wallet is
a streamlined credit card-sized wallet that holds all your little fucking.
I use it personally
it holds all your little cards yeah all your cards my Costco card my
NRA membership my NRA membership my wildlife conservation society membership my uh my
my good guy who deserves pussy card yeah which you got ironic gag gift no it's a real gift no it's a real gift I don't you saw my real one I donate $25 every year you saw my real one and you got jealous I donate $25 every year to the Good Guy Who Deserves Pussy Foundation.
Yeah, it goes to kids.
And a lot of that, the movie goes to breast cancer for Latina socialists.
In a good way, it goes to breast cancer for yeah, because that's how why he's a good guy.
They get the breast cancer.
Breast cancer.
You're giving money to the cancer itself?
For Latinas.
It buys breast cancer for trans Latina Marxists
who are also members of wildlife.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Homeless ones.
I see.
Homeless teen.
It buys breast cancer.
It gets them breast cancer.
It gets them breast cancer.
You are giving these marginalized groups breast cancer.
It's medicine that cures their tuberculosis, but also gives them breast cancer.
I see.
I see.
Because a lot of people, and it's mostly conservatives, but they do have a point that you're not a woman if you're not getting breast cancer.
That's true, true, true.
If you just have tits,
what evidence are they that they're woman's tits unless they're filled with tumors?
And if you're in one of those rare cases of a man getting breast cancer, you're a lady.
Up until the foundation of this charity, sponsored by Ridgewallet, which is ridgewallet.com buy their backpacks or wallets or any of the other stuff.
A lot of good stuff.
That was sort of a checkmate situation
directed at the
tea community.
Right.
I would say so.
And the nice thing about Ridgewallet, it's a checkmate situation, like Nick said, and you can actually play chess
while you have a Ridge Wallet.
Ridge wallet is the only wallet that you can play chess with.
You put it on the other side of your pocket.
They actually got N-word L-word to record.
Is that the same guy?
It's the same guy.
I see.
N-word F-word is the voice actor who recorded the Ridge Wallet.
You put it on the other side of a chessboard, it'll detect, and it'll say E5 to N1.
Right.
And it'll make the moves.
So you move the thing, hit the clock, and it says NI to GG.
Well, that's not how chessboards work.
You had it right the first time where it's
a number and a letter to you.
TR.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's never two letters together.
It's always,
it's always
a letter and a number.
The chess feature is in beta.
And so they're figuring that out.
But I'm telling you, I'm really excited about some of the new stuff they got going on or RidgeWallet.
Right.
Such as N-word, F-word's chess feature.
The wallet.
I'm sorry, just to clear this up.
You put your wallet on the table next to the chess set.
Yeah.
And it will just sense where the pieces are going.
Yes.
There's a camera in it.
And the camera actually,
the wallet actually has a microphone
that's always listening.
And
it records everything you say and do, and it sends it to a central computer that parses out anything that's non-essential.
And then, when it thinks you might be getting ready to play chess, it puts a chess master online who analyzes what's going on
and it relays it through pre-recorded N-word, F-word sound bites
of all the different so there's a chess master listening into your conversation, yes, and I guess pressing a soundboard with
L, what's his name?
N
L-word.
L-word.
Wow.
That's awesome.
And it's still, and all of that, and it's still very affordable and nice.
Yeah.
And it still, by the way, keeps all your cards.
You know what I'm saying?
Your money.
And it's
slimmer.
Slim.
You can use the shit on the back and either be some kind of strap or a money clip.
Which is great.
I don't know.
I just use a money clip.
I'm a money clip guy myself.
I never do that.
I don't know what the strap's for, to be honest with you.
They got a little for something good.
I think they got a cavity thing.
I put the SD card after we do the show in that.
Goes over to the office with it.
Ridge Wallet, if you use promo code.
Actually, do they have a promo code?
I say that all the time, but I don't think I think so.
Come town or Cometown20?
I'm going to guess they do.
It gets you something, but Ridge Wallet is definitely.
There's some good guys over there at the Ridge.
Big fan of the Ridge Wallet, guys.
I can't wait to try out my duffel bag, which is mine, and we have decided as a group I deserve.
I already gave it a welcome.
Who did you give it to?
To Latina Socialist.
I guarantee you it's in your little fucking weird half-office.
No, it's filled with
radioactive material.
No, it's not.
And I said, I want you to hold this close like it was the breasts of your indigenous.
Why would you do this?
To give them breast cancer.
Of Gaia.
It's the spirit of Gaia.
That's rude, dude.
What?
To give Latinx women breast cancer.
It's a charity.
To give Latinx Wixman breast cancer.
It's a charity.
Let me see here.
I'm going to add to cart a leather keychain.
I'm going to check out.
And I'm going to use code
Cometown.
It's come town at ridgewallet.com.
And it appears
it did do something.
Oh, it did.
Oh, Oh, it stops on FridgeWallet.com.
Not on fridgewallet.com.
Which is not a sponsor.
It's actually a wallet that looks like an ice cream bar.
Do you eat it?
Yes.
So it's an ice cream bar?
Damn, I'm getting an ice cream sandwich immediately after this.
That sounds awesome.
And by getting, I mean, drinking a krum and then
thinking about an ice cream sandwich and then maybe throwing up on myself a little bit.
Sounds awesome.
Ladies.
Ladies, you want to come elick?
Ladies, if you weren't already intrigued by all that talk of giving women breast cancer.
Maybe you want to suck my puke-covered balls.
Maybe you'd like to just sit here while I fall asleep while watching King of the Hill
in my own bottom.
Bum, bada, bump.
Bum, bada, bumf, suck them a buck.
Every 20 minutes, I'll offer you a rice cake.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, because girls like to keep it light with their snacks.
Some of them are very good.
The peanut butter flavor.
Caramel?
You ever have a caramel rice cake?
Adam doesn't know what the fuck you say.
I know about rice.
No, you don't.
Because the only time you get the bullshit plain rice cake.
Yeah, but you could put stuff on it.
I put peanut butter on it.
No.
Get the fuck out of here.
That sucks.
You know what?
It is really the movie theater popcorn on.
What's that one?
It just tastes like popcorn.
I never had that one.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
I'm interested.
That was a total fat kid move, too.
It's healthy, mom.
Yeah.
I need it.
It's healthy.
You bitch, mom.
You need a fucking bitch.
I need it.
I need it because it's healthy.
And you want me to be fat forever, you fucking bitch.
I used to fuck my stomach up with the little ones in the bag.
Yeah.
Quakers, remember the
sour cream and all that.
Yeah, yeah, those are awesome.
Those raw.
Just pop them in.
Damn what they say.
I literally remember the
first time I ever had them.
Yeah.
Being like, yep.
This is going to turn it around for me.
Yeah.
These are healthy.
No, not even they're healthy.
I'm like, these are so good.
Yeah, I remember being like, this is, but, but because.
I was probably like 11 or 12.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I remember sitting in my room just eating fucking chips, being like, what a great night.
I'll still fuck with those every once in a while.
And in my head, they still feel healthier than potato chips.
You can check them out at Ridgewallet.
Go to ridgewallet.com and get yourself some
baggage chips.
And then pop chips.
Let's not forget about those.
Pop chips.
Pop chips.
China chips.
Spiritual successor
from the small
spiritual successor to rice cakes.
New kid on the block.
Did you see the video of that guy in New Orleans confronting that white lady that said they have a block party?
No.
You showed it to us.
One of the best videos.
Didn't you show it us on the show last week?
No, no, no.
This is new.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I sent it to the thread.
Oh, okay.
Oh.
I don't remember anymore, dude.
What did he say to her?
Well, like, they block off the street they live in in New Orleans.
Yeah.
And they don't have a permit or anything.
That's rude.
There's an older colorful gentleman who's i guess lives there his whole life and this white lady comes up she's like we got margaritas and like just you know right like being like do you maybe do you want to come inside for a second and we can give you get you drunk and give you drugs we have fried chicken
you know
and he's like i don't he's like why the fuck is the street blocked off yeah
and it's a public street yeah he's just going he goes through the block party and mogs every one of them and it gets even better at one point like these two white guys come up and they're dressed like Native Americans.
They're like, we can record you too, pal.
Wait,
can you put it on?
Yeah, sure.
You put it on.
Can I hear it?
I watched the Tiger Woods documentary.
I watched it a couple of months ago.
Yeah.
It's great.
Dude,
I'm going to raise my boy like that.
It turns out I'm going to be getting pussy in front of my son.
Didn't he just
think he got fucked up again?
Yeah, he got in a couple of times.
He got a terrible thing.
Every six months, that guy's like...
But I think he fell asleep at the wheel this time.
He was wasted?
No, I think it wasn't a DUI.
He fell asleep at the wheel.
I like that he likes to train with the troops, too.
Yeah.
To get his mind right.
Yeah, but so this video is great because it's like 15 minutes of him berating.
I don't want any margaritas.
I don't want any tacos.
What I want is I want to be considered.
Where are you from?
How long you been here?
Or you can just come shut my fucking street down and don't tell me you're having a party or nothing
where you from this street ain't your home where you from here you're not from this street i live in my great-grandmother's house you a fucking lie where you really from now you're running you wanted to talk to me talk to me where you from i'm trying to hang out with you where you from if you come hang out with me where you from tell me that you don't want to hang out with me you don't want to answer no mother i live here where were you raised you weren't raised here i was raised there i know you weren't raised here be real with me if you really want to hang with me where are you from arkansas okay thank you
thank you now we can begin a basis of communication i don't know where it'll go but i'll calm down now
but you didn't come like you wanted to be see i came i walked you came on a false premise you're from here i had to break you down from that
but you're really from arkansas
why weren't we notified you were going to shut our street down i pay more property tax than anybody anybody here.
I can't get through here.
It's a one-way sweetie.
Yeah, that's yeah.
I know your fucking sentiment, bitch.
Let's get straight to it, hoe.
Let's get straight to it, hoe.
I don't have no parties where I block the street, hoe.
What you talking about?
The fuck out my face.
Substantiate a party where I block the street, hoe.
Substantiate that, hoe.
Substantiate it, hoe.
Substantiate that, hoe.
You're a fucking filthy hoe.
Substantiate that, hoe.
And then just.
We can help by fucking not creating a gentrification.
This bitch came over there and told me, we come to hang with you.
I said, well, where you from?
I'm from here.
No, you're not.
I lived there fucking my whole life.
She from Arkansas.
You came over here to patronize me, bitch.
I carry a gun everywhere I go.
I haven't said nothing about it.
you, bitch.
So don't try nothing to me.
And the call that I ate, bitch, just now was the commander of this district that I've been calling.
I don't need to be nice, hoe.
We at wall.
We at wall, bitch.
You done showed me that how you came, hoe.
I ain't fucking stupid.
I ain't fucking stupid.
Yeah, I know.
I ain't fucking stupid, hoe.
Man, look.
Look, look.
Look.
This is my fucking neighborhood.
What happened?
Is there a resolution in my cell?
Check that hole.
I mean, this is 255 into an eight-minute long video.
Jesus Christ.
It keeps getting better and better.
Good God.
And there's a special little treat.
The woman in the beginning, at one point, she pulls her ass out.
Oh.
A sign of disrespect, and you can pause it and masturbate to that part.
Wow.
It's got it all.
It's like you're enjoying it, and then there's a little something for your dick.
There's a little for your your dick as well.
Which is a balanced piece of media.
It's great to me.
Something for the mind, something for the cock.
The mind, the heart, and the cock.
Yeah, the only thing that would be better if this lady fucked a dog.
That would be cool.
Yeah.
Brought to you by DreamWorks.
By DreamWorks, yeah.
Jeffrey Katzenberg presents.
Check her.
We want to know why the fuck they blocked the street and they tell us.
This is an old bitch that comes by at one point.
Oh, here she is.
Did you see it?
What?
Yeah.
She has kind of a nice ass.
She does.
That's what I'm saying.
You can beat off to her.
Yeah, she's pretty hot.
I'm trying to find the part where the old bitch comes up.
Hey, Arkansas, bitch.
Move your shithole, and you're going to get sighted.
You ain't fucking...
My elderly neighbors are calling me talking about they can't get through
So fuck y'all look at this hoe.
Yeah, we know what you was from the jump, bitch.
We know what you was from the jump, you $5.
They really did have an official
fuck you, bitch.
Your privilege is extinct here, hoe.
Your privileges extinct here, hoe.
Get the fuck, bitch.
Get the fuck, hoe.
We ain't asking you shit, bitch.
On what authority did we gotta ask you to move on our fucking street, you old trifling fucking hoe?
He's on a fucking fucking
hitch street, dude.
He's got the multiplier gun.
Plantation, Miss Daisy Ho.
Yeah, your plantation Daisy Ho.
Fuck you and your mama, please.
Fuck you and your mammy.
It's so good.
Wow.
He was going the fuck off.
I got right on that one.
And I'm glad that he's just open carrying the entire thing.
Yeah.
Carry a gun gun everywhere everywhere I go.
Why do you have a gun?
Fucking Second Amendment, bitch.
Yeah.
That guy was awesome.
They really did have an official block the street setup, too.
They had the cones and the fucking whole thing.
Yeah, that is rude.
If it's a one-way street,
good for him.
He who's not a one-way street is Adam's asshole.
No, that's not true.
It's true.
You can shit out of it.
You can come into it.
Yeah, it's got
It's only poo comes out of it.
No fingers?
No.
But I did get a procedure done recently, too.
I got a little
lightning.
I had to get it sewn up a little bit got something called the husband's stick.
I don't know why they call it that.
They got a real tight for me.
That would be awesome.
Do they really make pussy?
Is that even you can really make a pussy tighter?
I don't know.
That doesn't seem like it.
That's what they say.
I feel like you could if you applied enough like heat to the
outside and then put like an
tube in it.
Yeah.
Well, women are devices.
Sure.
I've downgraded them from objects.
They're not devices.
To be upgraded every year, traded in for a new one.
Mm-hmm.
To get their pussy bat tightened.
Yeah, I'm trying to get the bitch 12S.
You better have face ID.
You better recognize me.
Oh, fuck, dude.
You know what people say that?
Recognize?
That's got to come back.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
And it also has to come back.
Chocolate goldfish.
I never had them.
Yeah.
Wait, the cheesy goldfish that are chocolate.
Sorry.
I never had it.
So true.
Sorry.
Shut the fuck up, Aaron.
All right.
I'll chill out.
Fuck you.
Fuck off.
Yeah, I know.
Fuck you and your motherfucking mammy.
You don't run the Seven Wall, hoe.
You better get back to Kenna.
Wherever you're from, bitch.
I know they got laws and rules, bitch.
Laws and rules, bitch.
Laws and rules, hoe.
Laws and rules, hoe.
It's funny.
all the white people in New Orleans look like guess who characters.
If I blocked the street by your house, to have all black black party, you to call the police too, bitch.
Fuck you, hoe.
Fuck you.
I know, bitch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That guy's awesome, dude.
I'll show you Pocahontas, bitch.
Oh, shut up.
Yeah, I know.
I am at home, bitch.
That's my point.
That's my point.
I am at home.
I am at fucking home.
No, not till this hoe gets a ticket.
Get it.
You got video, I got video too.
Oh,
thank.
Great video.
Great vid.
That was a good one.
That, that, and the, I mean, it's going to be, that's an old-timer, the, where you're coming from.
Uh, I was coming from the studio i do a podcast yeah yeah yeah and then the door shutting salute as she's crying as she's salute that's a classic piece of being loaded into a copper walk yeah yeah yep powerful cultural moment for podcasters for podcasters if you want to check out other powerful cultural moments
go to patreon.com
cashles contain um
go to stabi dabiz probably gonna have a couple shirts up there pretty soon probably gonna have a couple tour dates up there pretty soon.
That's right.
We got Funny Moms.
The link should be up.
At the end of the month.
I'm going to be doing a couple more.
I will also be doing a couple more warm-up headlining sets in New York.
I think I'm going to do one at
the Slipper Room.
Where's the Slipper Room again?
It's on the Lower East Side.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
What's the date?
It's the 24th?
The first Funny Moms?
First Funny Moms, I believe so.
We will have that up by the time this comes up.
Okay, and you're going to want to get a ticket because it's going to be reduced.
It's reduced capacity.
So you're going to want to get your tickets online.
Get them shits online.
There is no other.
You cannot actually get them in person anymore.
For COVID.
We used to say get them online.
There would be a couple at the door, but for COVID.
Until we open up
wide open,
like Chris Cuomo's ass cheeks.
Yeah.
You have to get them online.
So that'll be a fun one.
Welcome.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
My dick sucks.
My dick is small.
My dick sucks.
Mom gave.
Meg.
File's done.
My dick is done.
Cock's done.
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