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And here we go.
Rodo.
Rodo.
Have you seen Orbits and Shaw?
No, I haven't seen it yet.
You haven't?
It's good.
It's a movie.
We gotta watch the last hour and a half.
Why don't we throw it on
after this?
I wrote a whole movie while doing
karate.
Really?
Yeah.
You wrote it?
I wrote the movie and I directed the movie.
Nice, dude.
A lot of people don't realize that.
And you're Jason Statham?
I think so.
I can't remember.
That's awesome, Jason.
Transporter.
So
then they start doing the Hobbs and Shaw movies because Vin Diesel and The Rock hate each other so much?
I think so.
There's too much sexual tension.
And you know what?
Vin Diesel can fuck off.
Really?
The Rock brings so much to that franchise.
Vin Diesel is dead weight.
Wow.
That's true.
He got it at the beginning.
Dead weight.
He's the emotional center of the movies.
Well, I mean, the best entry in the series, he's only in it for one scene at the end.
I'm talking about Tokyo Drift.
That's right.
Right, right.
That's fair.
But The Rock's not in that either, to be fair.
Well, when they brought him The Rock, they really changed direction.
They did.
It became less of a franchise about family, which is what I like.
Cool cars, and it became more of like a heist, like a sort of like dirty dozen, like heist super action squad franchise.
I like those films in.
That's why they did it, is to get guys like you to watch watch them right because the movies used to just be for Hispanic teenagers
right guys who were fucking working on their civics god can you believe it's like they had the Honda but also they had the the 180 SX yeah can you imagine if you had like imagine having like imagine it but uh imagine if you could like if you could have like both of those cars man
but that's like they did that in the movie like there's a guy who has like he's got the the 180 SX, but he's also got, and, you know, they did the SR, they got the SR swap and that, you know?
And then he's also got, like, but he's also got, like, you know, but he's also got, like, a prelude.
A prelude.
Yeah, he's got, like, a prelude.
Like a
prelude.
I remember a while ago, I think he said, like, best type of guy to me.
kind of guy whose girlfriend wears a von dutch hat and drops a bandana to kick off a street race Yeah, yeah, that's that's that's fucking
bad.
Guys who aspire to the
guy
my girlfriend's busy tonight.
She's hosting a race.
Yeah.
I've been that guy before.
They can't afford lights, so they need breasts.
Yeah.
Adam, you've been that guy?
Yeah, but I didn't have a car, so.
You didn't have a car?
No.
What were you racing for?
Shit, I wasn't racing for anything.
Oh, your girlfriend was just the center of attention.
Yeah, she was just slutting it up for the...
Sutting it up for the guys.
When I was a kid, I'd been cruising USA.
At the end, there's a woman that comes out and she shakes her tits.
Yeah.
And I was always intimidated by that.
I was like, I'm never going to be in a crowd of people and see tits.
If you meet Cruising USA on the hardest difficulty level, you can fuck her at the end.
It's like Custer's Revenge.
That's what I did in my life.
Life is kind of...
And there's
white guys, you're kind of playing on easy mode.
Dude, you should do a bit about that.
I saw it on Tumblr.
They had this analogy for how white guy privilege is kind kind of like playing Life on Easy Mode.
Wow, like a video game.
I never thought about Life on Easy.
I never heard of that analogy.
That's clever.
That's good.
Yeah.
You know, when I heard about Cruising USA, if you unlock the super extra hard mode,
you can play as Al Pacino and suck guys off at every single rest stop that you stop at.
You go back to stroke.
You do Cruising Us.
You do Cruising USA.
Yeah, yeah.
It brings out as a meat packing district.
You can drive anywhere in the other ship.
San Francisco.
San Francisco.
San Francisco.
I hope there's some come here.
Knock, knock.
I'm here to suck dick.
Hips o' lips, huggy.
Hips o' lips.
That movie is oh, gosh.
That's a great.
That's a great fucking flick.
I just saw a guy,
and he's got a great ass
that I want to fuck.
And I want to stick my dick all the way up it.
Who fucked me in my ass?
Was it you?
Just when I thought I was straight.
They make me suck dick again.
I suck my dick again.
I get my dick sucked by a man again.
Fuck.
Say hello to my little ass dick.
Okay.
Let's think about that.
That gets hard when I I see a man.
Something like that.
Adam, you want one to do one?
I just thought of one, but I think Nick's already done it on the show.
So just try it.
The inch by inch speech from
instead of saying it.
Give me your best shot.
Yeah, just do what you...
Because I don't remember saying it.
I'm sure we've done this joke exactly.
No, I don't think we're going to be an inch by inch.
I'm taking his cock into my eyes.
There you go.
See, did you need to fucking...
You know, being outside of the city, I feel a lot more loose.
A lot more loose.
I can try out some bits.
Try different stuff.
Throw some pasta at a wall, see what sticks, you know?
There's no laws up here.
It's just fucking speeding.
We're in international waters.
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
We were thinking about getting a yacht.
I found one.
50.
So we could fuck guys in international waters and we wouldn't be gay.
It's not gay.
Yeah, it's not gay.
We found a 55-foot yacht.
But also, if you get pussy in international waters, that doesn't count either.
So it's a double-edged sword.
And then I can gamble on, you know, who's who's gonna come first.
That's right, and it's just you know, let's wait about think maybe about 10 minutes, maybe, before we talk about stuff we can gamble on.
Yeah, I think you're mighty might be right, so give it 10 minutes and then let me check my brain.
Nope, oh, never mind, yeah, no, no more, there's not going to be any kind of gambling for the rest of the year.
Oh, okay, gambling is it's Christmas today, isn't it?
What's today, Nick?
Today is December 23rd.
Wow, Willie, 2025.
Wow, I just gotta say,
I'm so glad COVID's over.
Yeah, COVID's over.
Nicely there in mid-November.
Yeah, he's done.
Thank God Joe Biden sold it.
Joe Biden, he's a president.
He believes in science.
Ms.
Kamala saw it.
Just like a Mayo-ass white boy would
people were getting sick and now they're getting pussy.
Do you see that thing that Hillary tweeted?
I didn't think we were all going to get sick, but we got pussy.
Everybody's getting pussy.
Everybody's getting pussy.
Woo!
We're going to make it so everybody gets a piece of pussy.
What'd you say, Adam?
Hillary tweeted something.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't click on it, but Hillary tweeted out an article that said
other countries have a social safety net.
We've got women.
Oh, my fucking God.
I thought that was pretty good.
That's true.
I don't even know what that means.
It means...
Well, women have stopped me from getting sick many times in my life.
So I've never even used the health insurance I have because I have a girlfriend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think Hillary's saying if you get pussy, you don't need student loan debt forgiveness.
Oh, okay.
If you get enough pussy, which I do, by the way, but I don't know if that applies to you.
You don't have to pay your loans?
Because I get so much pussy, I just tell Sally Mae or whoever the fuck.
That you're a pussy getting sick.
That's why the student loan crisis happened is because not enough pussy to go around.
Well,
Sally Mae, who respects that?
I'm not paying some bitch back.
Sally, come over here.
Bitch better have my motherfuckers.
I don't know.
I'm not a black pussy on my dick.
We don't know that Sally Mae's black.
Nothing like Black Pussy on my black black.
I was thinking Sally.
Word to the motherfucking DJ quick.
Okay.
Oh, I see.
I see.
I didn't realize the quote.
What did you say, Adam?
I don't know.
That's what I'm saying.
Sally Mae, fuck you.
Yeah, fuck you,
Fanny.
Fannie Mae, you think I'm going to pay some British ass with the word for British ass?
Yeah, it's actually pussy.
Pussy.
Yeah, Fanny means pussy.
Fanny means pussy?
Yeah, if you Google, you Google cheeky fanny.
Awesome.
Which sounds like
a gay guy that's like spreading rumors in the office.
But it actually means just like a big fat old pussy.
Really?
Wow, I kind of like a cheeky fanny.
You like a big, fat, sloppy puss?
Why not?
It's fun.
When you say fat, do you mean the little lips or the pussy part around it?
You know where there's a different.
Vulva is the word.
Yeah,
is that what?
Classic joke.
What do you call the useless skin around
a woman?
Oh, right.
Yeah, that's the classic sexist joke.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Uh-huh.
What's that?
You beat her.
You beat the shit out of her.
Something like that.
I forget who it is.
Oh, nothing.
It's nothing.
It's that classic joke.
Nothing you already told her twice.
Yeah, now you beat her.
Which we don't condone.
We didn't write that joke, and that's not the kind of joke we stand for right here.
You know what a podcast?
Yeah, here's another one.
No, we're not.
I don't know.
No one needs to know.
And we'll keep it moving.
Go ahead, Will.
Will has the floor.
Yeah, no.
He'll give us a report on the left.
Or say on my own podcast is How Are Women and Bowling Balls Similar?
How's that?
Because you fill all three holes and leave them in the gutter.
That's not funny, by the way.
I'm not a laugh.
Yeah.
I hate that streak.
And I think I've said it before: my favorite street joke of all time is why are there no Muslims on Star Trek?
Because it's the future.
Yeah.
It's really amazing.
Well, there's no religion of any kind on Star Trek.
Yeah, there is.
Well, it's a fucking play.
You put anything in there.
Except the Bajorans are the closest to Muslims on Star Trek.
Because
they have a faith that inspired them to do terrorism.
Right, and as we know, I mean, it was justified, don't get me wrong,
they were resisting a military occupation, but
in asymmetrical warfare, you know, things happen.
Absolutely.
Was Captain Kirk shooting down Bajorian children for flying kites?
No, it was the Cardassians who were killing the Cardassians.
The Cardassians were Israel.
The Cardassians were Israel.
Fuck yeah.
The bad guys are.
What is the Dominion?
It's the Shapeshifters, the Kardassians, and the Vorta, and then the Jim Hadar.
Okay, damn, that's wow.
Will, you missed it.
We did a whole Gene Roddenberry thing on the show recently.
You would have to do that.
You know, Gene Roddenberry got a pussy.
Yeah, Gene Roddenberry got a lot of pussy.
We found that out.
Well, his wife is a recurring character throughout all of the Star Trek series.
And they had an open relationship.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, he fucked the bullshit.
He couldn't stop fucking.
Yeah, he couldn't stop fucking.
He's like, you know, I got to get my space, pussy.
I invented space.
You expect me not to clean up, bonnet?
I'll put you in the show.
I'm a game green pussy.
That's the whole point.
You get to think up a type of bitch, hire an actress to look that way, and then fuck her.
It's truly more powerful than God.
Gene Roddenberry's widow, because
he died, I think, probably early into Next Generation.
And coincidentally, that's when the show started getting good.
You're going to put my ashes.
Major Barrett went on to be.
She played
Troy's mother
over many episodes of the show and was also the voice of the computer on all of the Federalists.
She kept getting her checks.
She stayed in that bag for sure.
Respect, respect.
I was thinking about this the other day because I've been watching, you know, I've been doing a lot of self-care recently.
Yeah.
For me, like, you know, Star Trek.
That's my comfort.
That's my comfort space.
Right.
You know, of course.
Cisco is my comfort character.
But
on the second episode, he's insane, by the way.
Avery Brooks or Captain Sister?
Avery Brooks.
Yeah, he seems like...
Have you seen that documentary that's like the captains?
No, no.
It's just interviews with all of the captains.
I mean, he's my favorite, but I can see he has that energy.
He's crazy.
No, but in the very second episode of Next Generation, which was sort of like a...
a big risk to relaunch this show with a holy new cast or whatever uh data gets his dick off on the second episode of the show
second and only time data he becomes trans no no
he gets pussy.
Oh, in the second episode, Data gets pussy.
Yep.
From who?
The one who dies in
the blonde-haired one who dies.
What's her name?
Tasha Yarr.
Oh, nice.
Damn, he fucks Tasha?
Yep, he fucks Tasha Yarr in the second episode.
Tasha's got a thing, dude.
You know, she fucks.
She's probably the most fuckable character on Next Generation.
It was the second episode, and it was like a take on the famous
original Star Trek episode with the naked time where they're like on some ice planet and something gets unfrozen that's like a some sort of pathogen that like when it is introduced into the body like sort of makes people lose all of their inhibitions and sort of like bring out their innermost self and like Tashi R just
comes on to him super hardcore and there's the famous line where Data says like you know I am fully functional just
fully functional just just fucking Gene Roddenberry in a western suit with his bolo tie just on the casting couch he's like well in this one well the virus makes you do
it.
It's a virus.
It's a virus that makes people lose all their inhibitions, is the idea.
So we
kind of channel that, and
we'll play back and forth, and we'll see if you're right for this.
So
you imagine you're infected with this virus.
I am too.
And scene, let me see your pussy.
Let me see your pussy.
And we're now in the scene.
The scene has started, and your pussy is not out.
Why?
Why?
One, Mississippi, two, Mississippi.
Four, you do not get the roll three.
Texas, dose, Texas,
Texas.
Very nice.
I don't count with Mississippi.
I count with Texas.
I count in Spanish, and I count with Texas.
Why?
Because I got a virus in me.
I got a virus.
That has removed my inhibition.
See how well I'm getting into the character?
I still don't see me no a siche, no pussy tatas.
What that means?
Means pull your pussy out.
Mother seats up.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I'm burping up sauce over here.
I'm getting indigestion.
I had megas for breakfast, and I'm burping them up because you're giving me anxiety by now.
I'm not showing me your pussy.
I'm not seeing your pussy.
I'm just imagining lawsuits, and that's not where I want.
That is not where you want me to be.
Okay?
I drive a coupe de ville.
You know how big the trunk is in that fucking thing?
You think you're the first actress to not pull her pussy out?
Go ahead.
See what happens.
See how I became the king of space.
That Roddenberry killer instinct.
You either give him pussy or you perish.
Those are your two choices.
That's my prime directive.
Pussy or perish?
She's getting pussy.
Yeah, dude.
So shouts out to him yet again.
The king, the real last dude of the week, Gene Roddenberry.
Yeah, dude.
So are you guys enjoying your sojourn here
in the Berkshires?
We've enjoyed it a lot.
Yeah.
We love it here, man.
We made the fire today in the other room.
We got a fireplace.
Yeah, we should sit around the fire and watch a fucking movie.
Yeah, there's a TV in the fireplace room, too.
Of course, dude.
We should finally watch Battlefield Earth.
I'm thinking now that we have to get that Mario party going.
The new Mario Party doesn't have enough boards.
That's the thing I don't like about it.
And they should bring back the dueling gun.
It's only four boards, right?
There's no guns anymore?
The dueling glove, sorry.
I like the dueling glove.
It was a glove you would slap people up each other's face with.
I'm going to do that.
I'm going to go to one of these Antifa protests and slap somebody with a glove.
Right.
And they're like, what the fuck is that?
I'm like, I don't know.
I feel like we don't have laws anymore.
And
I feel like dueling is going to come out.
You know, like these, like all these,
you know, like
Trump rallies and like Antifa street brawls.
Like everyone sort of kidded themselves out with this like, you know, like, you know, like order by mail armor.
Yeah.
Like, I'm just imagining someone rocking like two Nintendo power gloves.
Yeah.
Well, you should slapping the fuck out of people.
I want to go to a protest, but dressed as
a foppish dandy.
Like the part with the scarlet pimper now.
And bring
a fencing sword and just see who kicks my ass.
You know what I mean?
Like, you just have a costume that's so incongruous that it just makes everyone wonder, like, you know,
what side is he on?
What's the point?
Well, just help them unite against you.
Yeah.
Really cause, create, be play the peacemaker by getting your ass cut.
Isn't there a guy that basically dresses like that?
Isn't there some guy that dresses like it's the 1800s?
I would say that, like, you know, and a good chance if you're the
more elaborate your costume is at one of these things, like, the more likely that you're on the MAGA side of things.
Right.
In terms of, like, armor and, like, that kind of bullshit.
Yeah, like, if you're like 300,
Revolutionary War.
They're going for, yeah, they're going for like special forces and they landed Moonrise Kingdom.
He's always just this
gay boy on a journey outfit that night.
Boy Scout.
Yeah, fuck you.
I like the really fat guys that are wearing a bulletproof vest that just don't even cover their face.
Their teenies come out.
Their side tits are spilling over.
They're just squirting out the side.
That rocks, yeah.
I'm going to go as the black guy from Twisted Metal who's got arms as wheels.
Oh, that's cool.
Axle.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
See who gets mad at that.
Yeah.
I would just go as from Road Warrior.
I would put spikes on.
Yeah.
I would have, I would fucking, that would be my shit.
That's how I'd be MAGA style.
So I would go as Bowser.
Bowser.
Hell yeah, dude.
I would put on fucking
shoulder pads.
Is that John Wick Bowser?
Dude, shoulder pads.
I'm going to have tight leather pants.
I'm going to stuff so my cock looks awesome.
Yeah.
And or get like a deal.
I found a website that sells pretty realistic looking cocks.
Yeah.
That I guess it's for trans people to put like their real
zipper.
Dude,
they look awesome.
And I, because I thought it would be funny to pretend to cut your dick off in front of somebody.
Yeah.
Remember those fake dicks?
I pulled my knot.
Those fake dicks I made for the sketch thing?
Yeah, those are good.
Thank you.
Those are really good.
Yeah.
Why don't they sell pretty realistic penises for people who are looking to cheat on a drug test?
So I think it should be like
the next one.
I mean, dude, these were fucking...
There were so many different types.
There were so many different skin tones they looked real because I pulled one time to fuck with my roommate I pulled a knife out and then you know usually you pretend you're gonna stab him but I was like I was feeling inspired so I pulled my cock out and held the knife to my dick and I was like fucking
you know give me a hundred dollars I don't remember what I said but I was like I'm gonna do it animal house style friend I'm gonna cut my dick off and how funny it would be to cut your dick off in front of somebody else so if it's a realistic looking dick to go to go in front of somebody you don't know very well and chop the head off, that would be pretty funny.
Wasn't there some famous like French performance artist that like cut his dick off on stage for a theater full of people?
I was like, like, right before he did it, like, a car backfired outside, so everyone like looked outside.
They're like, What?
No,
that would be awesome.
But there was a there, I think there was a famous, it was some like, you know, uh, Van Gogh famously cut off the dick off.
Yeah, sent it to his girlfriend.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe now, maybe you'll suck this now, bitch.
Well, I'll tell you what, there's a place where you can cut your own dick off.
Really?
Yes.
Where is that?
MacWaldon.com.
I thought they sell.
See, that's interesting because as far as I know, they just sell really high-quality basics.
Yeah.
Well, it wicks so much of the moisture away from you that you're spurting.
You're just chopping off your dick.
MacWaldon underwear is so nice that you'll cut your own dick and balls off because you want the underwear to be the show the showpiece not your dick of your body your the your your
central region yeah i'm sick of my bulge i'm sick of my cocktail everyone being so fucking disoriented i want to pull off my mouth
i'm tired of women using me for my dick i want them to appreciate my underwear yes yeah that's that i find myself i want them to rub their pussies up and down my underwear i'm tired of being used for my cock me too mate i'm trying to be used for my underwear for macro my silver
if you want to be just a sexual object go to maxweld macweldon.com.com how many how many times have you had you know you're with a lady it's getting heavy she's unbuckling your jeans you're like oh yeah she takes your pants off she sees the mac weldon underwear she's like her eyes light up she's like oh my god
can you take these off and can i stuff these in my pussy gets a bit further she pulls out you know
the money moneymaker, and it's just, you know, her face just goes blank.
You can see her
just all the light go out behind.
She's like, oh, she's like, put your underwear.
Underwear is so good, she'll ask you to put your dick back.
Yeah, that happens to me all the time, Will.
And like I was saying, I have to take the underwear off and
wall it up and put that in her pussy.
And that's what she has sex with while I'm just sitting there with my soft dick and I'm jacking it off with just my thumb and my first finger.
And it's not hard.
It's this hot.
I'm saying, do you like this?
Am I a fucking slut?
I'm a fucking little bitch.
I'm a slut.
I'm a slut.
I'm only a fan of this.
Fuck my Mac Weldon.
Fuck my Mac Weldon.
And so Mac Weldon has cucked me on many occasions.
Oh shit, they just added this year of underwear thing.
It's like you can just get like a whole supply
for an entire year.
Yeah, which because they used to only have like a three-pack and then that this, like, I couldn't, they were out of stock for a while.
Yeah.
It's been like months trying to get.
because your dick feels so good in these in these fucking underwears.
Yeah, no, I literally threw out all my other underwear, and I only got MacWald and shit now.
Yeah, but I'm gonna pick this up.
How much is a year of underwear?
It's uh
$272.
That's a fucking steal.
It is a whole year.
Well, yeah, it's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
Fellas, are you tired of buying new underwear every time you take a shit?
Every single time.
Look at this box it comes in.
Imagine I would put that in my living room.
That's a beautiful box.
Wow.
And then when bitches come over, I'm like, guess who doesn't wear diapers?
It's that time of year.
Like an Advent calendar for a new, fresh piece of underwear.
It does look like an Advent calendar.
That's real nice.
It's Christian underwear.
Yep.
They sell a lot of shit, not just underwear.
Not just underwear.
They also, there's some kind of promo code or something.
There's a promo code that you could use.
You could buy shirts, crew necks.
This shit's antimicrobial.
It wicks.
Anti-guy guy clobial.
Come town 20 could.
Which we'll mention later, but I just want to make sure that I have it.
Okay.
And that'll get you 20%.
We'll mention it later.
We don't have to talk about it now.
Come Town 20 is the...
That's the promo code.
That's the promo code.
That's the motherfucking promo code.
That's a promo code.
No, it's real easy.
It comes in a nice...
Because I like all my shit nice.
I like the impression of I'm tired of buying
for years just living off a pair of underwear from Dollar General I bought after shitting myself
while drunk and I was like well let's see how long this pair lasts
and the answer was 11 years
stayed in the rotation yeah get all the bullshit underwear out of the rotation throw out the bullshit underwear I'm telling you you got it you got to start from the foundation up you treat yourself right you get a nice comfortable pair of underwear you put that on you get nice socks.
Get a t-shirt.
Get a crew neck.
You wear a nice t-shirt.
You put all that on.
And then you stay on the couch all day doing heroin.
That's right.
But you look so good.
But you feel good.
And your cock gets bigger.
It does.
It makes it grow.
Now that I'm a podcast millionaire, I never wear the same pair of underwear.
Like Dame Dash.
I only, yeah, like Dame Dash with socks.
I do it for underwear.
Right.
And I don't use toilet paper either.
I wipe my ass with a new pair of underwear, but I'm not an asshole.
I'm not just being wasteful.
I donate all the soiled underwear to a clothing drive.
Because a lot of people say, you know, homeless shelters, people donate the winter coats, but they don't have the socks.
They don't have macrowear.
You drop it all off, and the woman behind the counter is like, what the fuck?
And it's like, that's not very army of you, soldier.
Right.
You better fall in line.
Right.
And then you general salvation won't like that very much.
And you remind them of their duty.
Who's your commanding officer, lady?
Yeah.
Exactly right.
Santa Claus.
It's that Santa outfit.
Yeah, yeah, Santa's out there.
Probably Santa Claus.
Santa's the brigadier general of that whole fucking shit.
Do they still do what happened to the Santa?
So you never see this.
Coronavirus.
No, I mean, for years it was gone.
This is another thing.
No, Santa's been out.
Salvation Army Santa gone in the last couple of years, and also snake guys in New York gone.
Snake guys?
Like a snake guys?
Guys that would wear snakes.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like they disappeared in like 2015, 2016.
That's a shit.
You're right.
I haven't seen a guy with like a python on the side of the bottom.
And
that used to be a thing.
There was just always like fucking snake guys.
Did you, were you the one who, or maybe Christina, somebody saw come town20MacWeldon.com, get 20% off.
20% off.
If you don't like the underwear, you can call them and complain, and they will refund you.
That's what I was going to say.
And you get to keep the underwear.
And they also have a whole long line of basics, like t-shirts, sweatshirts.
I already said that.
We already said that.
They got a duffel bag.
They also got a loyalty program now.
Mac Weldon Blue, you sign up, you get that year of underwear, you get some kind of points.
You can spend it on the fucking socks or the shirts.
That's incredible.
Antimicrobial, silver line.
They call it Mac Weldon Blue because it's the opposite of what your balls will be.
Yeah, it's going to be getting pussy.
And you can only be a cop.
Police only.
This is veteran-owned underneath.
This is a veteran-owned company.
They came up with
the company.
It's sealed up.
They come pre-sealed up.
Pre-sealed up with extra small dick areas.
One of the legs is sealed up for veterans.
It's a camo.
You sell camo dickless underwear for veterans.
Absolutely no space in the dick.
No space for the cock area.
After your dick when balls were liberated from your body at Berlin by a team of the world's greatest surgeons.
After your dick was replaced with pieces of a Humvee transmission.
That's right.
Don't even bother trying to buy this if you haven't put a machine gun in an Afghani child's face because you won't get it.
You fucking regular pieces of shit.
So if you're one of those guys with no dick, no leg,
and you serve the U.S.
honorably, go to MacWeldon.com.
Use promo code COMETOWN20.
A big thing now, though, is
the former operators who come home from war and don't immediately
sign up for some private mercenary force is like they have all these coffee company like black rifle coffee there's like operator coffee yeah and they're like yeah because you you know don't don't drink starbucks like you want fucking glissy if you're not gay in the culture wars the coffee house is like they think that that's the bastion of liberal yeah like or leftist like uh revolutionary life yeah there's all these things that rednecks like that they like have to just pretend like there isn't an inconsistency because it has nothing to do with ideology.
It's just nice coffee is good.
Yeah, yeah.
And then what I loved for a while is that the cultural nexus of America was small-town Starbucks.
Yeah.
Like, had replaced whatever mom and pop shop.
Walmart destroyed, just replaced the local economy.
Right.
Yeah.
And then they have a Starbucks where guys would go to like.
Which is a fast food restaurant.
Which became this like public forum.
You know, I mean, you could go in there and you like point your gun at the barista.
Write Trump.
Yeah, exactly.
Write Jesus is real
into the Pledge of Allegiance.
And you're going to say the Pledge of Allegiance with me, and I'm going to put it.
I got a GoPro hooked up to my head.
And this is all being broadcast on Twitch immediately.
That's right.
And they're like, sir, we can't do that.
And they're like, wow.
Wow.
Really?
Discriminated against.
It's so funny that conservatives spent like a decade trying to cancel Starbucks and it didn't work.
And then
now they're getting canceled.
And you're like, but this isn't fair.
What the hell?
Yeah, nice try, Redneck.
Try to get Starbucks in trouble for not like, I mean, what an awful position.
Not that you should feel bad for a company, but Starbucks just like, they had nowhere to go.
Yeah.
It was just no matter what, they're making a wrong.
Putting people's names on cups was the worst thing that ever fucking happened.
Yeah.
It's giving people too much freedom.
Yeah.
And yeah, no,
I think Starbucks will continue to be a cultural battleground.
And I think for a good 30% of the country, if they want to get a latte or
a nice tomoca chino or something, they will be demanding that they will be saying that their name is Trump was legitimately elected
by
the imposter.
Stop the steal.
My name is Stop the Steel.
That's my name.
Put it on the card.
My name is Starbucks' Stuff is K.
What the fuck?
What the fuck did you just say?
That's my name.
Don't slap his body.
Fuck you, dude.
Slap his press.
Relax, dude.
Touches me.
I'm not.
You're not going to say that.
You're not going to fucking disrespect me.
You're not going to disrespect me where they sell bacon greer egg bites.
It was a throwaway comment.
Those are good.
Those are awesome.
Very good.
The souvy.
Souvied egg bites.
Yes, they are very good.
Yes.
Come down is brought to you by the sous video.
I wish it were.
I wish it was.
I love souvy.
I'm going to reach out to you.
Reach out to Starbucks.
I like their pastries, too.
People sleep on them.
Yeah.
The eggs are fine, but the sous vide egg bites.
The espresso brownies.
You can't really fuck up biscotti it's just let's well those are just packaged from another company that's fine what do you think the pastries are you can make them fresh
they have artisan they have artisan
their scones are bullshit making scones taste like something scones could suck my dick out and make it home when i was i've never gotten a scone and i was like let me make shitty bread and put blueberries in it and they wouldn't having said that i would eat a scone right now i'll make you scones i'll make you good scones do you really know how to make scones yeah they're easy is it just what is it It's just flour and water and blueberry, and then you get trash and put it in the oven.
Okay, that doesn't sound like enough ingredients.
I make blueberry scones.
Is there eggs or
butter?
Just flour and water and blueberry.
It's lotza.
That would be smoothie.
That would taste like absolute dog shit.
Yeah, that's just that's talking about scones at home.
I'd love to see that on the bake off, on the Great British Bake Off.
Yeah.
But I don't really know how to bake shit.
I've been making those like Chinese buns.
Those look good.
And it's relatively easy.
Yeah, bow.
Yeah.
Bao.
Making that gelatin, I still have not figured out.
But that's the next.
Once all this is over, you'll get there, buddy.
I'm committing the next three months of my life to making Shaolong Bao.
That would be awesome.
Yeah.
Shaolong Bao.
Yeah.
I just realized bao
is the fucking...
means dumpling, I guess.
Lil Bao Wow.
And Shaolong.
It means some other shit.
Shaolong is the basket.
Really?
Yeah, Shaolong means like little basket.
Whoa.
Yeah.
So your dick is a shao dick?
No.
Shaolong dick is your dick.
It's a long dick.
You're right.
Shaolong.
Sorry.
After the stuff is.
Well,
Luku walked right into the.
No, I didn't.
I said little basket.
You said your dick is a long dick.
Well, no, I said, I didn't say long.
Did I say long?
You did.
Zhao Long Dick.
Zhao Long Dick.
Zhao.
That's an exclamation.
Zhao.
No, that's not a babe.
I didn't say chow.
Chinese, that's a funny language.
I didn't say chow, long dick.
They're just going around ching this, ching that.
What if your name is Ching?
That's so cheap.
How do you tell the difference between that and the rest of the language?
That's true, Jay.
Can you imagine meeting a guy named Stop Sign?
That's why you're the best in the business.
Imagine meeting a guy named How's It Going?
That's true.
That's what it's like over there.
Woo!
And then it's an episode where Elaine dates a Chinese guy.
Yeah.
I loved how Seinfeld, every single person that wasn't Jewish, was just like the biggest caricature of all time.
It was like Jewish people, then every Latino was like, hey, man, I'm just trying to cut hair.
And it's like,
the barber, the black guy was just
an even more Johnny Cochrane type guy.
Kramer's lawyer.
Super strong, guys.
Who told you to suck my penis?
Who told you to get my pen?
I didn't tell you to suck my penis.
That guy was a funny character.
He's a great character.
Yeah.
Like they try to do like Latino characters, but they fuck it all up.
It's like in the upper west side of New York.
They try to do a Latino character, and he's like a cholo from like East LA
fucking a flannel and like dickies on and a shaved head.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, Jerry man, what's up?
What's going on?
Jerry living two and a half minutes walking from those neighborhoods.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I love Danny Treyo's episode of Seinfeld.
You just love saying salsa.
It makes you wonder how ch what are Chinese people?
How would they say it?
How would they say salsa?
They'd probably say some kind of some variation of Ching or Chong.
Jerry.
It's a very complex language, actually.
Jerry, suck a dick.
Fuck you, you fucking bitch.
But that would be great if every episode started with him bombing and being a bitch.
That would be way better.
If you edited out the laughs.
Yeah, the laughs come out.
Fuck you!
We want to see Elaine's pussy.
I've gotten pussy.
Where's Elaine's pussy?
Sure.
Sure.
I've gotten pussy.
I love getting pussy.
Her girlfriend's 12 years old, you fucking rapist.
Yeah, but look at her tense.
Has anyone
over the entire run of Seinfeld?
Has anyone like tabulated or like just chalked up how many guys Elaine has fucked over the whole hell?
You know what?
it's kind of
like she is trash.
Jerry probably fucks a lot more.
Elaine, I saw some of that.
George fucks all the time on that show.
And he doesn't even have a job for most of the show.
Yeah, no, like, because I mean, the joke is that, like, you know, oh, like, he's the loser or whatever.
But
he's dated probably something like 80 women on the show.
Believe me, I know.
He's dated some dimes.
Jerry, I've gotten too much pussy, Jerry.
My dick is going to fall off, Jerry.
I'm George.
Elaine.
We got to talk about this list.
Someone on Reddit sent it to me.
Jerry's got his own subreddit.
He's a comedian.
And basically, everyone in his life is stalked and harassed by Jerry Seinfeld fans.
I put together a list of
how many people you've had sex with.
It's way too many.
It's too many.
Yeah, it's too many.
So I'm going to,
we're going to break up.
I remember she had some guy fly in from Oakland to give her pussy, to give her a cock.
Remember that guy?
And she had to get him.
She lost sponge.
She didn't get him.
No, no, she didn't get him to the airport on top, but he was annoying.
She needs a sponge to clean up all the calms.
That is what that is about, right?
Yeah.
You put a sponge in your pussy and it gets the calm up.
Yeah.
I can't believe that was a form of birth control.
Yeah, we used to put a lot of things in women's cunts.
I believe the original diaphragm pioneered by French brothels in, like, I don't know, probably the 18th or 19th century, it was a citrus rind.
It was basically a lemon.
You put a lemon in your pussy?
It was just put up there.
And actually, the citric acid does work as a kind of a spermicide.
Really?
Yeah.
I wonder how that feels in your pussy.
Probably not that good.
Yeah, probably not great.
I remember learning in health class that girls used to shake up Diet Coke and spray it into the rind.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, yeah, you put a mental Diet Coke if someone comes in.
Is that how that started?
They put it in their hoo-ha.
That's an abortion.
It was a viral market.
That's how you do an abortion.
There was a crowd of mentos.
Diet Coke in your pussy, and it blows at the police.
There was a commercial where a police officer fucks Kylie Jenner and he nuts inside of her.
And then she's like, Now I'm going to have a baby.
And he hands her a Pepsi.
He bends her Diet Pepsi.
And then another guy from the guy from the Mentos commercial comes out, too.
And he's like, Mentose freshness, kill a baby.
mentos freshness now you don't have to pay child support
mentos the baby killer
uh yep take that you fucking fetus piece of shit
you fucking theoretical bitch ass fetus no man
because my i can't wait for amikome to just come in to and take away abortion and she's banning mentos and the mentos is going to fly mentos stock is going to fly through the roof once they fucking overturn Roe versus Wade.
Yeah,
and then I'll have to have a kid.
Then they can't get rid of it.
You love gang abortions.
I love it.
You love that Planned Parenthood waiting room.
Yeah.
All thanks to Amy Comey.
Amy Comey.
Amy Comey.
I like beer.
I feel like those have all probably already been run through on Twitter.
Every iteration of the Amy Coney Coney Barrett puns.
Oh, of her name?
Yeah.
Yeah, Amy Carr.
How about Amy Coney 2020?
Amy Kobe Bryant.
Yeah.
Amy.
Let's see if we can take it to another level.
All right.
Okay.
What the fuck is that sound?
Oh, it's the dishwasher.
Yeah.
Oh, I got one.
Ang Lee Coney Barrett.
That's good.
That's actually really good.
And it's the Hulk.
It's the director Ang Lee.
It's the Hulk not getting an abortion or something.
Any given Sunday?
Yeah.
oh just that yeah
every given Sunday you know
he's he's giving the motivational speech
yeah yeah yeah you're gonna be clawing yeah we're gonna dig our inch by inch to stop that next inch by inch
sell by sell
the only thing that matters is trimesters
well I forget I keep we live this life one trimester at a time
I wish I could remember that speech.
Any Given Sunday is a great movie.
Oh, yeah.
It's like it's later Oliver Soam, but like I it's like it's like a two-hour line of cocaine.
And everyone in it is awesome.
I saw Lawrence Taylor.
Fucking
Scotty.
Cameron Diaz, isn't it?
Cameron Diaz.
Right when I fucked her.
I saw
Jamie Foxx.
Excellent stuff.
Jamie Fox, man.
I fucked her the mask, actually.
I saw Jamie Foxx on like Conan when that came out.
And he explained that Al Pacino kept spitting in his mouth while talking.
So I think about that.
He was like, yeah, he'll yell and just like he'd be spitting into my mouth while doing the scenes.
And I have to focus because he's spitting.
Oh, yeah.
He said, like, yeah, like one of the
white things in the corner of your mouth.
He's like, why don't you do the fucking blaze article?
Like, it just, it just jumped from his lip to just the corner of Jamie Foxx's Foxx's lips.
He was just trying to do the rest of the scene, like not touching his lips together to get
to get that owl juice on him.
Steam and Willie Beaman, dude.
Okay, and James Woods in any given Sunday.
That's true.
Team doctor.
Remember the scene where he gets fired?
The scene where he's a doctor where he prescribes blue chew.
Yeah,
where Jamie Fox's dick doesn't get worked.
I mean, Jamie Foxx's penis does not work.
He also talked about his cock in that Conan interview.
Did you see that episode of Conan?
I think I remember the one you're talking about, but I don't think I quite remember the
dick.
Well, he's talking about fucking both Al Pacino spitting in his mouth, and he also mentions that his dick was bigger than everyone else's.
That rocks.
That's such an awesome thing to casually drop in there.
Yeah, but it's also too, they have to like feed the questions to the host.
So Conan has to be like, now your dick is huge.
Pre-interview.
Yeah,
why don't you tell us a bit about that?
How big your dick is?
How big your dick is?
So you have a very big deke?
No, no, I was just thinking the scene with James Woods where he gets fired from the team by Al Pacino, and then he's got his girlfriend there or whatever.
And he's like, all right, all right, fuck it, I'm out of here.
All right, let's go.
And he's like, come on, babe.
And then she just goes, no.
I'm going to hang back and I'm going to stay here too.
And he's like, really?
Okay, all right.
How do you like getting gang raped by a bunch of
andrethals?
And it was just like, it's like with James Woods, like in that role, as in any role with James Woods, I really have to question, like, did he know know the camera was on?
Or, like, he knew the camera was on enough to stop him.
But you could just tell him he felt like he was like, well, come on.
It's where the, what he would say.
I'm the character.
I'm an actor.
I just really watched
Oliver Stone's Nixon.
And James Woods plays H.R.
Aldeman in that movie.
And there's a scene where he's complaining about the
New York Times.
Not being hard also because
he's on bluechew.com.
No, go ahead.
I'll figure out a way to do it.
he's talking about the uh the new york times and he refers to the salzberger family as gold merchants from eastern europe
and again i wonder if that was in the script if that was more just james
you get when you get james woods yeah um that's that's that i remember that and what another thing i remember is that if you like sex is if you like sex you'll love blue chew.com you love blue and also james woods famously has a very large cock really i think he keeps it that way through yeah blue chew blue chew through blue chew yeah it's It's also, too, that's why Jamie Fox had to bring that up in that interview.
Because his dick.
Yeah, because James Woods was going around.
He's like, well, you bet you didn't expect that from a racist.
Betches really annoyed black guys.
I bet you didn't think I had a big racist call.
Racist, and I have your thing.
Yeah.
But
no matter what,
I stole this from you.
Yeah, I'm better at rap, and my dick is
yeah.
Now, no matter what size your cock is, whether it's small like Adam's or huge like mine, you want to use Blue Chew.com to get your dick hard.
Because odds are
on almost every race.
There was some confusion on the last read when we said Chinese people were not allowed to use Blue Chew.
We would like to issue a correction.
Yeah, we'd like to issue a correction.
We're pretty sure
Chinese people can use it.
Chinese people are allowed.
We're almost 95% sure I'm going to say that they're allowed.
So here's the thing.
What you want is to get your dick hard no matter the situation.
You know, I want that.
And instead of
maybe exercising a little bit more, watching what you eat or trying to form a romantic bond with somebody where your dick works,
solve your problem with the fucking pills, baby.
Just like everything else.
Keep doing drugs.
Go to Blue Bluechew.com.
You don't have to talk to a doctor.
I love the way they taste.
I take them when there's no
chance I'm going to beat off that day.
That's right.
It's just, it's a, they, have you tried it?
Actually, I was going to ask you guys, I've never tried wow, Will.
Will.
You and Stav have stockpiles.
If you want some, I think I have some in my footpad.
We signed up.
Someone who, you know, like,
doesn't usually have a problem achieving or maintaining an erection.
Oh, look at this guy coming on my fucking body.
Wow, that's a real
Jamie Fox move over here, Will.
Talking about how you're the only guy whose dick gets hard on the podcast.
Blocked, troll.
We're going to have to edit that.
We're going to have to edit that.
This is finally the falling out.
It's the Brooklyn podcast community.
It started with the Cometown Chapel going out.
Bullshit.
We thought it would be the Cometown Red Scare split that did it in, but it wasn't.
It was Will.
It's Will getting his dick home.
You just think your dick works.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's because the passage is.
Well, I was going to say, like, yeah, maybe it's not working as well as it could.
It certainly is.
I was just saying, like, you know, if I take Lucha, will it be like in the middle of the day?
You know where yesterday they hit the nitrous and shit.
It will 100% be like.
It's like, you know, do you remember getting glasses for the first time?
Well, I've never need to wear glasses.
Well, that's an alpha mine.
Well,
one day you'll need to be a little bit more.
This physical specimen, dude.
Wow.
This physical specimen.
You put glasses
and you get glasses for the first time when you're like 20 or whatever and you're like, holy shit, that's what clouds look like?
Yes.
There's all this stuff that you didn't think was just mush.
Right.
Like your dick.
Exactly.
Blue chew and it's like glasses.
What the hell?
Exactly.
Will Blue Chew help me not bust within 30 seconds of getting it?
No, but you will be able to fuck right after, like, not right after, but
come on.
But
sooner than however you normally takes you to fuck after busting, you will be able to fuck sooner.
Sooner, like I said, about 72 hours or so.
Yeah, it'll have your time.
So you're looking at about 72 hours.
But here's what I'll say, Will.
Look, does my dick technically get hard?
Sure.
If I get it sucked a lot, if we stop, we get some breathers.
I'm getting top.
I'm getting in the pussy for a second.
Specific, specific, if I'm in, can I take it out?
If you're not enough, it's got to stay until I bust or it's going to go soft.
Maybe the same generic
ingredients as VIII.
Exactly.
With those generic ingredients, now I'm really fucked up.
It's a subscription model.
You sign up, they send the pills to you.
There's no in-person doctor visit, no waiting, nothing.
No bullshit.
No
hard dick.
They do a Skype meeting.
Sometimes they don't.
Sometimes they just give you a pill.
Sometimes they say, yeah, well, if your dick is real small, they check.
But me and Nick never did a Skype.
Yeah, we can tell
the weakness of your wrists based on how you type in the website.
And we're worried this might be a three-year-old girl
trying to get medicine.
So we have to do a Skype meeting to make sure you're not an infant.
An infant.
A girl.
A child.
Yeah, a baby.
They made me show my equipment.
Your cock.
And the back.
They made you a hole, too.
Yeah.
Because they wanted to know if your prostate was
delayed.
The nurse practitioner, she said, turn around.
Then I had to bend down and I had to cough.
She was like, stick something up your ass.
And then a bunch of chains came out of my ass.
Right.
I'm always smuggling.
I don't know where the Holocaust might start.
That's true.
You got to keep your feelings in there.
Yeah.
He calls his asshole the Annex,
the secret Annex.
Yeah.
So
his little bookshelf tattooed on his asshole that he opens up.
Nothing to see here, Nazis.
Yeah.
Where he lets the Nazis go in there and find Anne Frank.
Right.
But underneath.
He's got a tiny diary he puts in his ass.
Yep.
I snitch on Ann Frank.
At bluechew.com.
He hires men.
Go to bluechew.com.
Go to bluechew.com.
Get your penis so hard.
I'm going to give you a dick pill, Will, and I want you to let me know how it goes for you.
And I know it's just four fellas in this house right now, but you got, it's
having a sleepover.
You got to take it.
Yeah, I brought some of my best pornos.
We're watching.
We're porn.
We're getting shooters.
We're watching porn and we're seeing how hard we can get our dicks.
And we're using promo code ComeTown to get our first order free when we pay just five dollars for shipping yep
yes we are B-L-U-E-Chew.com that's what happened you cut you the fellas come to the woods and we see who's got the hardest dick yeah the biggest we do we call it the james woods challenge james woods challenge
let me ask you something you want to see uh what is how does he sound he's got like a weird he's got like a like a weird uh i like him a lot as an actor oh he's great he's he's good in everything casino Casino.
Oh, he's so good.
The pimp.
I love him.
Yeah.
I just watched a movie recently where he plays the dad, and
his character is that he's incredibly anti-Semitic.
Virgin suicide.
No, it wasn't that.
Oh, my Jewish daughter keeps killing herself.
Who's the girl that plays?
My Jewish daughter.
My kite daughter's keep killing themselves.
Is that the plot of that movie?
It is.
Yeah.
Suck along to my dick if you want me to be gay.
You find out that they're killing themselves because a woman directed the movie.
You're like, Her face.
This is too shitty.
This is too shitty to be a part of.
I love the godfather.
I just saw Copola.
It's a bitch, Coppola.
It's the lady Coppola.
No,
no.
Get out of here.
I love that.
It's a 13-year-old girl being like, come on.
The fuck is this?
What the fuck is this?
I thought it was a guy's movie.
I'll say something.
I just re-watched Godfather 1 and 2.
Godfather 1, not that good of a movie.
Shut the fuck up.
Okay, I want to get into that.
Dicey movie opinions.
I just recently watched Apocalypse Now.
Yeah.
No, it's good.
I had to knock, I had to dock it.
It's going to rewatch it.
The last last third of the movie with Brando is pretty shitty.
I mean, I could be, you know, attacking.
It's not as good as the first.
It's like, like, the first two thirds are incredible, but like, you can totally tell that they didn't know what they were doing.
Like, because I agree, but here's the thing: like, isn't it
fat and insane?
Well, yeah, because, like, yeah, he was fat and insane.
And, like, he wrote his own, like, he wrote his own shit.
Like, did he, he, like, Coppola threw out Milius's, like, the last part of his script.
They didn't know what to fuck to do with the movie.
Like, Brando wouldn't, like, show up for, like, days at a time.
But just the concept of him, he's playing like the elite special forces colonel who's gone completely off reservation and has essentially been living with a guerrilla army in the jungle of Cambodia for like two years, just doing like assassinations, living in the bush.
They show up and he's like morbidly obese.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just like,
I was like, I'm sorry, this is.
I'm with you, but I guess I surrendered to the movie and it's just like, it's almost like mystical, really.
Yeah, it's like, it's like he's got some kind of otherworldly hold on these people.
And that, like, okay, so then Martin Sheen kills him and then just walks out of the temple, and they're all looking at him.
They're like, oh, I guess he's he's curts now.
Yeah, kill him.
Like, what?
I know.
Listen, the end didn't make any sense, but it was fucking cool.
That movie is just like, it's, I love a movie where it's like, it starts and it never stops.
Godfather One is everywhere.
Please, please, please shut the fuck up.
Too much.
Please shut the fuck up.
And then Brando's trying to act.
Oh, fuck.
on.
I want to become one of those guys.
Godfather 1, they're acting too much.
Dude, just rewatch.
What a fucking retarded idea I have.
Sort of on a similar level because, like, we're both guys who refer to Godfather 1 and Godfather 2 as just one and 2.
One and two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the kind of guy I am.
I am.
Like, oh, you know, Papacino and 2, though.
Yeah.
Literally, I am.
I am one of those guys.
And Adam is a fucking person.
I don't think I've ever seen Godfather Part 3.
I've seen it once.
It is.
And in fact, I've only seen seen Godfather Part 2
like maybe once.
In my mind, I've seen all of them, and then I watch Godfather 1 again, and I'm like, oh, I've just turned this incredibly long movie into three movies in my mind.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so long.
It's three hours long.
Yeah, yeah.
But also, Adam, please shut the fuck up.
All right, man.
I'll do that fucking take.
I like the part where he puts the orange peel in his mouth and makes it, it looks like a monster.
It could just be that you liked the movie a lot as a kid.
Yeah, yeah, it didn't hold on.
It doesn't work on you.
It does hold on.
I'm sure if I watched Donny Brasco again, I probably wouldn't think it's that good.
Yeah, it's a few days.
Actually, I think Donny Brasco gets better the more times he watches.
I've seen Donny Brasco a million times.
But that happened when we were Goodfellas.
I watched Goodfellows again.
You're wrong about that, too, by the way.
No, I just think it didn't do it for me in the way that Casino still works for me.
The agreement is to meet Goodfellows is way more watchful than Gladiator.
Which, when I was 15,
I hated that movie.
Retards alert.
When I was 15, it was my favorite movie.
Oh, for fucking two right now.
It sucks.
Shut up.
Gladiator does suck.
The fuck up.
Gladiator does.
Suck us.
No, it doesn't suck.
No, it's good as fuck.
You're all dumb.
You know what I re-watch like once a year that I still like a lot?
Troy.
Troy.
Yeah, I've never seen Troy.
Troy's good, dude.
I saw it.
It's fine, but Gladiator Rock.
That movie is too long, right?
What, Troy?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
I think it's actually.
I think it's just kind of muddled.
You had the cover of the Aeneid.
Yeah.
I do remember when Brad Pitt does his first kill in the movie.
It was
Nathan Jones.
The very tall, like very tall guy.
Very tall guy.
The video of, it's from like Strongman 95 of Magnus Samuelson breaking his arm, I think.
He breaks Nathan Jones.
That video is awesome.
Doing arm wrestling?
Arm wrestling, yeah.
Holy fuck, that rules.
Yeah.
Cool.
Because Magnus Samuelson, he's like Scandinavian or some shit.
So he's like,
I feel really bad.
I think I broke his arm.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, I would watch Troy again.
I just remember being hyped for Troy because I love Greek shit.
And Brad Pitt was looking hot as fucking Achilles.
And I don't know.
I just remember it ending not satisfying.
But I haven't seen it since I was a kid.
But Goodfellas, I just, I love it.
Well, Troy is very, Troy is very much like
a movie about kind of like...
tropes of masculinity and different ways to pursue being like a it's like a good man project sort of type of movie
I mean, the best thing you do when your homie dies is you wear his armor in battle so that people will think that you are him.
Yeah.
Right.
Resurrected.
Well, there's all that shit.
You know, there's the fucking, there's Orlando Bloom.
I'm going to wear your condoms after you die.
There's a
Orlando Bloom, who thinks he's in love with this bitch and is like destroying his father's kingdom and putting all of his countrymen to death so that he could get some
pussy.
So he's kind of like
figuring out what he's doing.
You see Hector?
Paris, right?
He's Paris.
Paris.
Yeah.
And then...
Whatever.
I mean, who gives a shit?
It's not fun.
We're going to get into the Aeneid rules.
The whole Iliad right here.
The Iliad rules.
Yeah, no, it's the Iliad, not the Iliad.
The Aeneid was the sequel where it's, you know, the refugees from Troy go to found Rome.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
That's right.
It was Romulus and Remus.
That's the different version of the Roman myth.
Remus is what I call my dick.
I'm about to remus it into some pussy.
You're about to remus your remus into some pussy?
What are you talking about?
Remus is my dick's name.
Because I remussy.
Oh, so wait, that's a different story than the...
Yeah, it's a different myth about the founding of Rome.
And then the Aeneid is, but Virgil is the one who founds Rome.
Who's Magnus Samuelson breaking Nathan Jones' arm?
Look at how much
look how much bigger Nathan Jones is.
And Samuelson just shatters his fucking.
Can I see?
Yeah.
I used to watch that World's Strongest Man.
Oh, it was on ESPN 2.
ESPN 2 when I was homesick from school.
Oh, shit, dude.
Are you seeing that?
That guy is huge.
Ah!
Fuck!
They crunched his shit up.
Yeah.
Oh, you can Google the World's Strongest Man Classics 1995 Samuelson breaks.
Probably broken his arm.
I feel terrible that I have injured him.
Yeah.
Me.
That's what I say after I fuck.
Yeah.
I'm very sorry that I've broken your pussy.
I'm sorry that I have done damage to your pussy.
Your freaking hole has been
bruised
that I've broken your brack out.
Like a cuckoo clock, the door is too tiny,
and I shove my dick in there and kill the whole dancing family.
Oh, fuck, dude.
I wish I was the world's strongest man.
I want to get fucking women.
I want to be a big, strong guy.
They should do the world's strongest woman competition on TV.
Yeah, but it's all about their four to two.
Which don't say they already do it.
They do.
They do do it, but the joke is that nobody watches it.
Nice.
Was it Tim Dillon that used to do the joke about the WNBA just being funny?
Like the idea that it's like, what do we let bitches play basketball?
Somebody had some.
That sounds similar to Shane's Special Olympics premise.
No, I'm trying to remember who the fuck used to do that.
That job.
I don't remember.
Yeah.
I don't remember on account of my dick is too hard.
Is it?
No.
From Blue Chew.com?
No, it's not.
Well, folks.
But I am about to take some Pepto-Bismo and play through the pain because we're about to get pizza.
We're about to get pizza.
I'm going to be like any given Sunday.
I'm about to get shot up by James Lewis.
That's where I get numbing agents so I can play.
That's me tonight.
I'm about to drink, I'm going to have so many edibles.
I'm about to smoke a lot of joints.
And I'm about to have Pepto-Bismo so I can eat like a whole pizza.
If you're stuck with your family this holiday, it's Christmas coming up, you don't want to deal with them, go to patreon.com, P-A-T-R-E-L.
That's right.com/slash come town, and you can get access to
our premium archive for money, though.
Without now, I think 200, there's probably 200, about just about 200 episodes in there.
Now, extra to listen to.
I know that because of COVID, there's new people that are listening to this that don't realize yet that this is a
double fascist show where we've repeated the jokes over and over again for three years.
But hopefully, before you realize that, you'll spend some money.
Check it out and you can pick up shirts too at come.town.
That's right.
That sounds good.
And a calendar, a 2021 Stoppy Baby calendar.
You want to get that.
Before 2021.
You want to order it before 2021.
This is your last chance.
It's about to be Christmas.
I had the 2019 Stoppy Baby calendar, but not 2020 because this year has just been too fucked up.
Dude, it's too fucked up.
2020, man.
I mean, fucking it's
a hell year, am I right?
All right.
Thanks, folks.
Thank you.
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