Ep. 236 - Tug Douglas

This is Bethany Frankel from Just Be with Bethany Frankl.

Here's my summer tip: don't overthink your dogs' meals.

My pups love just fresh from just food for dogs, complete, balanced, fresh, shelf-stable meals that go everywhere from New York City to weekends in the Hamptons.

I mean, you can have real food ready to go for your pup anywhere.

No cooler, no hassle, just grab and go.

I've seen the difference.

Healthier coats, more energy, tails wagging at mealtime.

Biggie and smalls love it, it, and I'm all about stuff that just makes sense when life is busy.

Go to justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first order right now.

No code needed.

I was sipping my latte when my friend gasped.

Her phone had just alerted her to a data breach.

Again, that's when I told her about CAPE.

It's not just another app, it's a mobile carrier built to protect your privacy.

No name, no address, no data collected.

Cape offers premium nationwide service for $99 a month.

First month, just $30.

Use code CAPE33 and get 33% off your first six months.

She signed up that afternoon.

And now, no more gasps.

Go to Cape.co.

Privacy starts at the source.

Okay, good morning.

Good morning, everyone.

Now that I got that said, there's just 15 hours remaining.

That's all right.

We're trying something.

We're doing a little adult swim on this one.

Oh, yeah.

We're doing a little straight swim.

Yeah, so on this one.

Guys with regular dick swim i wake up i wake up at like 6 a.m every day yeah so i'm up you know

doing karate down here in his robe uh yeah and then uh

you know stav wakes up because stav has sleep apnea so he wakes up that's not the reason for a different reason i have a machine that regulates my sleep he wakes up with sleep apnea i don't wake up with sleep apnea anymore and uh

in fact my fitbit could tell you right now how many hours of sleep you wear while you're asleep?

Yeah, dude.

Tracks my sleep.

My dad's got sleep apnea, and I got him an Apple Watch, and he was like, I'll excited to use the sleep tracker.

But I'm like, you got to charge your shit while you're asleep.

No, dude.

I mean, I guess he could probably charge it during the day.

That's what I do.

Because he doesn't do exercise.

Right.

So that's why I need the Apple Watch because it's like a track.

You're not fucking every hour of the day.

You're not.

doing exercise.

Well, I'm at my desk doing a little something,

I use it as an activity track because I try to hit like the minimum like like

right but you're sitting at your desk working for at least a couple hours that's when you charge it no I'm I'm constantly standing

in fact I'm standing right now

I didn't even hand you my jacket

I got six hours and 34 minutes of sleep last night I was awake for 46 minutes of it really let me see let me check my but that's mostly in the morning when I just kind of wake up and lie there let me let me see how do I get my sleep yeah dude this shit rocks.

I went to bed at 1:53 a.m.

and I woke up at 9.13 a.m.

Yeah.

Yeah, see, this just you can only like set a sleep goal.

And that, and I was strapped up to the apnea mask

with fucking beautiful fresh air pumping into my lungs.

Yeah, anyways, ensuring I don't die.

I'm up early, you know.

I'm up the second earliest.

I'm getting my shit

ready to go for the day.

Stop up, wakes up.

And we said, wouldn't it be funny if we just didn't wake up Adam?

Did the show without him?

And it was

such a good idea.

He's right upstairs.

He's probably awake.

He's dreaming.

He's probably just fucking...

He's in bed.

He's in bed looking.

He kept Tumblr.

Somehow his is the only tumbler that doesn't not have porn anymore he's in bed masturbating the pictures of his girlfriend like a loser they're on vacation bro look at porn look at porn he's just he's got a picture of they had they had another friend shoot it from behind it's the two of them in Harvard Square holding hands

and he's masturbating that picture in the autumn

he's got a scented candle that she likes he's smelling that

you ever jack off the smells

no

but

there's been, you know, when you use somebody else's shower and they'll use like a shampoo of

somebody that

sucked you off at one time.

Absolutely.

You get hard looking at that blue,

that blue curls condit.

What was that one?

And then you just, you got to have like a beat off

in the shower and then you walk out.

You're like, hey, Pal, that thing's a bath now.

That thing's permanently a bathtub.

Give that about 25 minutes before you look at the drain.

Yeah,

don't look at the drain at all.

I remember

when I was like 13, I discovered beating off in the shower.

I discovered it.

I didn't know you.

Yeah, like Christopher.

Christopher Columbus, that's a very Columbus move.

Bustifer, Bustifer.

Columbus.

Bustifer Make Columbus.

There we go.

I need the money.

So I go on my boat and beat off.

I need to go to the boat.

I can a bit off over here on the sea level.

I want to go see if there is if we could go around the world if there is a way to put your penis in it.

My idea is that the world is not round, but also there's a hole on one side.

In the center, there's a pussy.

And you can.

And you can only get to it from India.

And you can fuck the globe like a big, beautiful lady.

The globe can be sexually fucked.

I need two million francs for that.

Here he talked to you, the Queen of S of Spain.

He went to every fucking Italian.

The Queen of Italy.

Italy was.

So Columbus, he was he was Italian, but the Spanish funded him, right?

I believe so.

And according to Furio,

I think

he was a northern Italian.

What did he say?

Columbus, I don't like him.

I don't remember where Columbus is from.

'Cause he's not Napolese.

He's not f he's not Napolitan.

Where the fuck was Columbus from?

Yeah, he was a fucking s he was just begging

monarchs who were trying to get their cloud up

to fund him.

Who discovered America?

Columbus.

Oh, so it was him.

Oh, God.

It's kind of said that.

Who the fuck was Americo Vespucci?

Everyone talks about him, but I've never heard his story.

What were his three ships named?

The pussy, the penis, and the suckama penis.

Exactly.

The pussy, the penis, the suckama penis.

The penis was genetine cock a

Yeah, he's from Genoa.

It feels so awesome, you say.

Yeah, and it's it's really I was just uh I was just sorry, I was a little boss.

I was making

a fucking dick in the booze.

How the colored fellas must feel when they do the raps.

Absolutely.

I feel like Twister right now.

I feel like Twister.

I feel like it's the mid-2000s, and I'm fucking doing a guest verse on everybody's fast song.

Do you know who Lord Buckley is?

I don't.

He's just like,

he's just fucking...

I don't know if he's American, but you do this weird look British character.

I don't know.

It was like...

Oh, it's a character?

I don't know if it's jazz necessarily.

Well, this sounds, honestly, everything you're saying sounds gayer by the instant.

It's one of the worst things

that has ever been made.

What year is this guy from?

What era?

1950s or something?

That's me, and there's you.

And I dig all you cats out there whipping and wailing and jumping up and down and sucking up that fine juice and patting each other on the back and telling each other who the greatest cat in the world is.

Mr.

Malinkoff, Mr.

Dallinkoff, Mr.

Reisenhahn, Woosen Weesen, Wisenwoosa, and Mr.

Woodhill and Mr.

Beach Hiller, Mr.

Churchill and all them hills, they gonna get in straight.

So it's basically it was a black guy that did the voice or a white guy that did the voice rather than paint himself.

And so it was like considered jazz,

but it should

spoken words.

Black voice.

Y'all trying to get some pussy, but you ain't got it.

You ain't got it.

You ain't getting no pussy.

You ain't getting no motherfucking pussy.

You come around here.

This is a general store.

We only got two kinds of sweet potatoes.

We got regular sweet potatoes and and we got yams.

The yams, you can fuck.

You can stick your dick in them.

You can cut the top of the can out, stick your dick straight through the damn thing.

Looking like a train going in the tunnel.

Coming out the other end, covered in orange, orange, sticky, icky, ooky, gooky, baby.

Please come over here.

She can wipe down my car with her ass.

We need to cover her ass with pull her sundress down and use it as a squeegee, clean all the windows off the coupe deville, back when it got bubble windows.

Remember that bubbles?

big old bubbles like a retard will blow while he's asleep coming off his head so big you could go live in it like a bio dome with Paulie

remember that Paulie Shaw he would do yoga in the movie

the Pauly Shaw movie

he get it he got he was so flexible from the yoga he could suck his own dick you got two ways you can suck your dick you can either bend or you can have a big dick there's two ways to go that's the yin and yang of life.

Some men, they got hogs so big they can suck them standing up.

He's saluting the flag, he's got his cock in his mouth.

Other guys, they got a fold up like a pretzel.

They call him Snyder.

They call him Snyder the penis hider, because he bent over and put his cock so far down his own throat.

Very, very nice.

Yeah,

got me over here coughing, maybe, because I thought

that's pretty good, dude.

Sucking all my pain, it's getting my dig hard, taking it out, putting it in the man's ass,

making you bug me, taking you to the store, pulling my dick out.

You're a really good guy.

That's a big old bitch, biggest you ever seen.

So big, she clipped herself more and the whole damn thing blew up.

They call her the Hindenburg.

Bitch, so fat, she grew a swastika on her ass.

Very good, Lord Buckley.

Yeah.

And that was that was spoken word.

That was awesome.

Yeah.

Now, who's that?

The fuck, like the modern equivalent?

Not Bubba Sparks or something like that.

Seth Simons.

Seth Simons.

I saw somebody say a slur when he was in eighth grade.

I saw that motherfucker goes eagle, eagle.

Eagle.

One of the worst things I've ever seen.

Ego, ego.

Damn.

That's one of those kids where it's like, you know, they make all these, all these common sense arguments against bullying.

It's like, yeah, why do children do that to each other?

There's no reason.

I mean, it's really, you know, you think back about like, you know, because both doled out and received, it's like, there's a lot of emotional trauma that everyone goes through in the first, you know, 15 years of life just because human beings are kind of ill-suited for socialization.

Right, right.

You know, I mean,

some people are.

I don't want to say.

Well, not ill-suited.

They're not ill-suited for socialization, but just because they're fucking shitheads and cruel and like,

you know, it's like that is sort of part of...

It's not all...

It's not...

Your, I guess, libidinal impulse is to

be aggressive or shitty towards people aren't properly sublimated yet at that age.

Yeah.

Mainly because we don't allow children to join something like

a police organization for youth, like

a Hitler Youth Army or something.

No, because a lot of people,

one of the good things Hitler did,

I mean, look,

if you had a way for children to properly sublimate their libidinal impulse towards organizational state violence, they wouldn't need bullying.

Exactly.

And one of the things that marked Hitler's Germany was how peaceful everyone was as an adult.

Anyways.

Because you got it out of your system.

You got it out of your system as a kid.

They didn't do anything.

I'm not saying they got it out of your sid, but I will make this argument.

Okay.

You can fact-check me on this.

I would love to.

There was no bullying in

they did not have it.

It didn't exist.

Everybody, come inside.

It's time to share your feelings.

We're going to do conflict mediation.

Yeah.

We're only punching up.

but I don't know you with that guy you watch that video and you're like oh this man I swatch boss maybe bullying does maybe bullying does have a place sure just for this this type of the type of person who decides I'm going to be a snitch for professionally beyond the snitch he he's getting it on social media now because apparently he was like just shitting all over like Rebecca or the Creek in the Cave or something because they closed.

See, that's interesting to me because it's like, you're not even a fucking comic.

Like, maybe some comics could have had.

I like the Creek in the Cave, whatever.

I was there.

I didn't really experience it, and some people really loved it.

But I don't fucking give a fuck.

It's not really my place.

I wasn't a part of that scene when it was like really jumping.

Yeah.

This motherfucker isn't even, but I'm sure some comics have a fucking gripe with The Creek in the Cave.

Fine.

If you're a comic and it was bad to you, well, the gripe is that it's like it.

But he's not a fucking comic.

No, he smelled like diarrhea, and it always smelled like shit.

Yeah.

And it was just

a place for like autistic people.

Right.

The people around there were horrible sometimes half the time.

But it was a good hangout.

A lot of the time.

To me, it would be like if GameStop closed.

Right.

Right.

Well, it sucks.

You know, but

I just mean...

I'm glad now.

You know what?

The benefit of The Creek in the Cave closing

is that there's no longer the risk of becoming someone that hangs out.

Yeah, you might not wake up at 37 having another PBR on Happy Hour.

Yeah.

Trying to fuck a 23-year-old girl.

A lot of those guys stand up.

It's a good thing that there's nowhere to go.

You have to go somewhere else.

Yeah.

It's like when they clear out an underpass, and you're like, well, where are all these homeless people going to go?

And it's like, probably to a warmer grate.

Yeah.

Yes.

Probably somewhere better than where like RVs empty their septic tanks.

This is a long term, this will be good for them.

Yes.

Yeah.

They'll go back to their five people in a three-bedroom and Bushwick apartment.

But I guess my point was, motherfucker wasn't even a stand-up.

It didn't affect you.

Yeah.

He wanted to.

I don't know.

I mean, I don't really know anything about the guy, but with his SNL

grudge,

it seems like he just wanted to be somebody that was a TV writer and fancied himself funny because he was like.

That seems to happen a lot in motherfuckers that cover the things.

Whoever covers the thing.

It's

I call it like homework brain.

Right, of course.

Where people

who love homework and think that because they're good at school, that they're automatically funny.

And that you can check a series of boxes as if it was like...

Yeah, exactly.

The opposite is true, which is how Donald Trump became president.

It's like, it's all the evidence.

You know, like, it's the homework brain is very similar to that's what I should have said mentality.

Right, right, right.

You know, even if, like, that's why.

I mean, Hillary is the ultimate example of homework brain.

She checked off every single box of what you're supposed to do to get to do what you want, but it's like, nobody liked you, bro.

I think the worst era of homework brain was probably like 2013, 2014.

I don't know if you remember the toast

that that website.

Is it like an ivy?

There was a period where like all online humor was like that McSweeney's tier.

Oh, yeah.

Like, fucking dog shit.

Right.

Shouts.

Barely a joke with like way too many words yeah it's like what if what if uh like text from jane austen is the best example yeah plug anything into that formula which is like uh here's a reference to college

to a thing i had to learn

and then you know modern seinfeld is what i say yeah yeah yeah

um

you know just updating it or whatever right right

at least modern seinfeld is stealing seinfeld and not some gay book remember seinfeld 2000?

It was like making fun of that.

Yes, I do.

That was pretty good.

Crane gets his dick sucked outside off Tinder.

Crane goes on Tinder and gets pussy.

That's my Seinfeld 2000.

Yeah.

Claymore.

Claymore.

Claymore.

Oh, fuck, dude.

Yeah, thank God I don't have fucking homework brain, dude.

All I got is getting fucked up playing Settlers of Catan with my boys on drugs

and then losing at Mario Kart.

Yeah.

You're so fucking good at Mario Kart.

No, you guys are just bad at it.

You don't know, like, you have to.

You were in first place, except for fucking Rainbow Road, where I ended with a nice third pl second place finish.

That was bad driving on my part.

Well, I also got fucked over by Donkey Kong.

It was exemplary driving.

I'm not going to say anything about the other Kongs.

This is specifically Donkey Kong is the one I have a problem with.

So I don't want to hear anything about how I'm going to.

You're prejudiced against the Kong.

The Kongs, the Kong.

When it's specifically Donkey Kong,

but no, you guys don't know how to.

And I tried to tell Adam.

You can't, like, you don't just drive.

In Mario Kart, you have to, like,

like, drift the whole time.

It's a Tokyo drift situation?

Yeah, you got to use the shoulder, use the shoulder button.

Oh, I see.

You start turning like way before, like you spend most of the race sideways.

Because when you drift, like the car, the back of the cart will turn blue and then red.

Oh, that's cool.

That happened a couple times.

It was pretty tight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And anytime you go over a jump, you got to hit the shoulder button, and then it'll do a flip or something.

You can drive.

I didn't know any of this.

That's why Adam was beating me.

I was driving with nothing but panache.

That being said, I put a lot lot of time in the racing simulator.

That's right.

That's why you're good at it.

My driving wheel.

Nick was in a wheel.

It's his driving wheel, by the way.

He was playing Martin.

He brought Martin his 800 driving wheel

my whole racing sim setup.

Dude,

I did not care about

PlayStation 5, but if they do like a Gran Turismo 7 special edition, I'm going to get that.

Of course, dude.

You got to find a way to get that wheel going again.

I have it going.

But I mean, I'm on PS5.

Yeah.

Now I got it at night.

I mean, you kind of let the cat out of the bag already, but

I kind of wanted to.

Sometimes I like stuff for me.

Of course.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah.

You know, turning one of the rooms.

Turning an entire room into a driving simulator.

Yeah.

It was a good thing.

Dude.

No longer pretending that that's an office.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You're going to do emails.

Yeah, this is my office.

I'm going to take my laptop from the couch to the office and do emails.

There's a bag of cat shit sitting in there for like fucking.

There's a rumor I put a contractor bag filled with garbage.

Yeah, that's my office.

I'm writing a novel in there about a...

Oh, fuck.

That rocks.

I'm jealous.

I want a fucking arcade.

I want a fucking little arcade machine.

Yeah.

Like a cabinet?

A cabinet.

The best one for home i always thought would be the old jurassic park one where you go oh it's like a photo booth that one rocked dude i was i sucked at every one of those games those for getting your dick sucked in is the jurassic

chucky cheese when you're the fucking cool older cousin yeah dude and you bring your girlfriend getting your dick sucked in a seven year old getting ahead from chucky when you're seven

yeah close the curtain aaron i'm being a grown-up you're probably afraid of this game

afraid of getting molested by Chuck Eye getting your little child's dick sucked through his mouth.

Sucky cheese.

Sucky cheese, baby.

I hope it's a girl under here.

I hope it's a fucking...

I hope it's probably a hot girl.

It's probably a 58-year-old man, but I'm pretending it's a girl.

I'm having a dream.

I'm having a cushy dream.

Oh, I'm having a cushy dream where the person sucking my dick as a child in the Chuck E.

Cheese costume is a girl.

I can't wait to get my pen sucked by Chuck E.

Bust.

Oh, man.

I don't know about you guys, but if Chuck E.

Cheese was open right now, what me and Nick would be doing, we'd be smoking high-quality CBD from our friends at Cushy Dreams, getting absolutely not stoned, but feeling good, and then going and playing Time Crisis at Chuck E.

Cheese.

Don't you agree, my friend Nicholas?

I do agree.

In fact, I agree so much.

that I have to find the copy for the ad reading.

I don't know how you guys remember this shit.

It's the same bullet points over and over again.

For example, with cushy and listen, they're not even bullet points to me because I love the fucking product so much.

I love fake weed.

How about

real weed more?

Huh?

How about bullet ants?

Bullet ants.

Are those the ones that if they get in your cock, they'll f completely like split it open?

I hate that.

I hate stuff that goes in your cockhole.

There's that little fish apparently in the Amazon that swims up your dick hole and then it lives in your nuts.

Yeah.

And then it comes out like the fucking alien.

Oh, I just got an email back from the

from a business.

Yeah, yeah, we gotta, we gotta, we might, it might finally be time to switch podcast huss.

Nice.

Just because there's been

yeah, there's been issues.

There have been.

Who knows?

I don't know how to deal with it.

Yeah.

And I just don't.

But I will say this.

We've been with Shout Engine for years.

Right.

And they've never charged us.

That is weird.

Well,

because it's like three guys.

Yeah, yeah.

And then,

you know, like, I don't know.

So, like, once one, on one side, it's like if something fucks up, you know, it's like,

it's like the, I mean, right, right.

First of all, I can empathize with that person.

Of course.

More than anything.

Running a business that's successful by accident with just two other guys.

When the print shop sends out fucking 900 shirts that are completely wrong, and then suddenly you owe a bunch of people $40,000,

and you're like, I tried my best.

Why don't you just be happy for me for trying my best?

I did.

I tried something.

But then the flip side is, is that they were also too incompetent to ever charge us anything.

Right, right.

You know, exactly.

My landlord is horrible, right?

But at the same time, we had an illegal room in there for three, four years, and he never knew.

Right.

It's like, okay, so yeah, maybe sometimes you gotta fucking the toilet gets clogged, but also you can have your

have your good friend Ryan Shuttle live in your in an eight by eight space.

I think it's finally time to pay for podcasts.

I think

have a single overhead for this fucking

four years in or whatever it is.

Thank God we got cushy dreams.

Thank God we smoke cushy dreams.

You can smoke cushy dreams to chill you out while you deal with the anxiety of having to do anything.

I know.

And they got a lot of different blends, too.

Now, when we're actively doing work, I like to smoke the fucking create.

Yeah.

Or hustle.

I smoke imperialism.

Ooh, that's a good one there.

I'm specifying.

Yeah, racism, imperialism, colonialism.

Colonialism?

Isn't that your favorite brand of cushy dreams?

Is that your favorite strain?

My version of colonialism is when an Indian guy walks into a small room and you have to open a window because they've got too much.

That's a very good analogy of what the British did to the world, ironically.

Too much axe bodies.

Yes, exactly.

That's what the British did with tea and going,

yeah.

They made everybody do that.

Anyway, look.

Coronarism.

That's what that's.

Coronarism is when we make the coronavirus

and we send it all over sponsored by cussy dreams.

Coroniarism.

Coronialism.

Coronaliologism.

Coronarism

sponsored by Cussy Dreams.

Coronavir virus

new conspiracy theory that

I'm not sure it sounds like

the Japanese did the coronavirus, not the Chinese.

My penis is too small.

I'm gay.

I'm a gay man.

I wanted to suck at a penis.

I'm sorry, you said you're gay.

I spent like an hour by myself just pretending to be Japanese into Siri and having Siri not understand me and laughing.

I have a diarrhea.

Cushy Dreams has, you can either get eights.

Yep, they got 3.5 G's or my favorite, the single pre-roll G Graham joints.

And let me, it feels nice.

Yeah, I don't really fuck with the.

Yeah, I don't like the, because I don't want to bowl.

Because I don't really smoke weed.

Right.

So the pre-rolls are nice.

Exactly.

I also got a nice little lamp for my apartment.

I love the lamp, by the way.

So it's dark and

Amazon.

Really?

Yeah, just look up like they have like these Chinese-made like fucking knockoff Tiffany lamps.

Interesting.

That are like nice.

It looks great, yeah.

Interesting.

So I keep the lights down low and I smoke in there and I sit.

I have a home phone that I gossip on.

Right.

Who do you call?

Who are you?

Go-to gossip.

I don't know if I'm going to put anybody on.

Oh, but is it maybe, I don't know.

People that nobody knows.

A gay man?

No, it's not a gay man.

Is it an older woman?

Who are you gossiping with?

What are the types of people are you gossiping with, you know?

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering.

It's actually, yes, it is an older gay man.

Thank you.

It's one of my older gay associates.

And it's not Adam.

I know many of you are thinking that that describes Adam perfectly.

Anyways, I smoke it, and it fills the apartment with smoke.

It's a scene, dude.

It's a fucking

hardcore mood.

It's a hardcore, it's a big mood.

And then the cushy dreams gets me just right.

Yep.

And I'm ready to.

Nick's over there smoking the cushy dreams with me like Lucius.

You'll never believe what happened.

Lucius.

His name's Norman.

Dorian Norman.

Norman Wilkerson.

I don't want to put anybody on the glass, but his name is.

Here's his actual name.

His name is Norman Wilkerson.

Yes, I love smoking cushy cushy dreams.

Oldest and only friend, Norman Wilkinson.

It's nice to call your boys and gossip.

Yeah.

The only problem now with my friend, a friend of mine moved in with me is that he took the guy that, oh, actually, I guess I could call Ben O'Brien.

Ben O'Brien's still over there on LA Time.

Give him a fucking call, see what's up with my boy Benny.

Anyway, folks, go to cushydreams.com.

Fucking

smoke a joint

and gossip with your gay old friends.

You know you love it.

Now a lot of you are going out there getting that fake Chinese Tiffany's lamp that Nick has.

And if you want to complete the thing, you got to get a gay old friend and you got to buy, most importantly, some cushy dreams.

Some cushy dreams.

So go to cushydreams.com, K-U-S-H-Y-Dreams.com, and use it.

Use promo CBD because you can't.

Use promo code Cometown.

And let's never forget, smoke your CBD.

Come Town for 20% off your first order.

20% off your first order.

Smoke your CBD because you can.

One of the finest marketing shits.

Ultra premium, premium.

Yeah, I think we covered all this.

We got it.

It is nice, though.

I like it.

I like it, too.

I like it a lot better when...

See,

right now...

We should have brought some, actually.

We honestly should have.

I'm currently...

We've been here two days, not even, right?

Yeah.

Day and a half.

fully off the rails.

I'm right.

And like, it took

the kind of stuff I'm eating to excess is insane.

Because we bought healthy, quote-unquote, stuff.

And ate it.

And we just ate everything.

I ate so much.

The only thing that was slightly bad is butter.

Adam's dumbass brought a loaf of bread.

That entire thing of kerrygold butter.

Bread's gone.

Bread's gone.

Butter's gone.

It's like fucking.

I was spreading butter on my shit like house cream cheese.

Be a glutton with like a head of lettuce.

Yeah, dude.

I was shocked.

I I was going to get a strawberry all gone.

You ate berries and pineapples.

They were all gone.

Because animals don't get fat, but occasionally there'll be a squirrel or like a fucking orangutan that's like just obese.

And it's like, I guess I would be that one.

I'd like to think that I'd be one of the normal animals.

But there's just one of them that's like fucking like, what are those?

What do you got there?

Leaves?

Yeah.

What is this?

Leaves?

What is this?

Garbage?

What the hell is this?

Garbage?

Let me try this out.

I've never had garbage before.

Yeah, raccoons love garbage.

They really do.

I've got my explore tab on Instagram is like nothing but like Korean raccoon accounts.

Really?

Yeah, because I follow a couple of them.

Interesting.

Mine, let me see what I got.

Mine's mostly basketball highlights and girls with big breasts.

You know what I'm saying about doing it?

Once we get the video set up,

which that's coming, by the way.

Yep.

Instead of having our own YouTube channel, let me know what you think about this idea.

Because there's already people that are like upload all the shit.

just identify like the top five

accounts that already repost stuff

and then just give them the video to upload in exchange for them like emailing view counts

an aggregate view count to i think that seems like a little too much logistical work is it and also who are these guys i have no idea i don't give a shit they're probably crazy so what

Can they handle email?

That way you don't have to.

Hopefully.

Yeah.

I don't know.

We'll see.

I mean, we'll get the video going.

It actually probably would not be a problem to write like a scraper that just pulls the public view.

Yeah, isn't that one of the most readily available pieces of information on YouTube?

It is.

I just don't want to actually go to the website myself.

But there are like, isn't there like back-end analytics that only the account owner would have access to?

I don't think it's that crazy.

We can look at my YouTube channel later because I haven't used it.

I was thinking about doing it that way.

Because I like the idea of the brand being something that's just distributed with no clear.

Although then one of those guys starts posting N-words.

Because I like the idea.

Like, we don't own the Cometown.

I know.

But I like the idea of being a wholesaler rather than like, you know.

So people come and they're like, I want to buy my thing.

And it's like, well, then you got to find autistic guy that's paying up on the light and making clips.

Yeah, you got to find it.

We're not giving it to you.

You got to find a dealership.

You got to go to a Cometown dealer.

Yeah, we have a website, and then you click buy, and it's like there's nothing there.

Because I don't want Cometown to be a thing that you can just go get.

I want it to be like Shee-Hee Cometown.

You know,

Fitzgerald.

Oh, oh, oh.

Yo, you know what?

If they buy,

if we sell that.

Okay, I like this idea.

We have to sell them,

we have to sell dealership rights, naming rights, and then it can be blanks Cometown.

Yeah, well, we sell the show to those guys who sell it for whatever they want.

Right.

And then the dealers, you know, they add dealer options.

Right.

Like, so

people can get the podcast with Adam edited out.

Right, right, right, right, right.

You know what I mean?

Absolutely.

So we sell the raw files.

That's good.

I like that.

As the manufacturer.

And then you can do whatever.

You can mod it any way you want.

Yeah.

That's not a bad idea.

So you got to go to the mall.

You got to go to like a specific come town dealership to get your own options.

Yes.

You can have it edited.

I'll provide a supplementary file where I'm only doing like different races.

Right.

You can get the entire episode.

Every episode you can have.

But then you would say to yourself, what if it's the regular one?

But then he goes into Indian, but you have Indian.

You have Indian

as the regular one.

You have the regular one.

But you already, but then, so it's the Indian version of the regular episode.

But in the regular episode, it switches to Indian.

Well, how where

would I know that he's regular?

Where is the description?

because then Indian become

then Indian become a different one oh it doesn't go back to normal voice

it becomes Chinese you find like if you look at color chart yellow plus fucking blue is green so regular plus Indian whatever the opposite of brown is is what the blue is

so you take brown the other side is purple and I guess that would be what like a like a fucking like a Vietnamese woman's pussy

so like just

yeah, I think that's about right.

Or I think a Thai woman's pussy.

I would say Thai, not Vietnamese.

Is that what a Vietnamese woman's pussy?

I don't think that's right, dude.

I think you got the flapping down.

Yeah.

Just somebody with like what a beets pill on the train.

They're like,

where is that coming from?

It's Thai pussy come town.

Yeah, I got it at the dealership.

I got it at.

You like it?

Yeah, it's a dealer option.

I got it from Nubian Finance.

Yeah, I got it.

I got it down at Nubian Cometown.

Nubian's Come Town.

I got it down on Route 5.

Chicago-style Cometown.

Shouts out to that guy.

He does make some good.

They pop up.

When I was using YouTube to do my show, his shit would pop up.

Seems to do a good job.

Well, that's what I mean.

Just fucking give the raw files to that guy.

Well, they can still do the clips if we just have the whole episodes.

Well they can do whatever they want with it.

They just get the raw files and then we take the metrics from like the aggregate.

You pick the top five ten people to distribute the thing or that

could do whatever.

Because they already have because what you don't want is when people like you know the less if we did our own channel we're already diluting

There's already people that

I mean we I think we just have to I mean why even do the video if we're not gonna do our own channel?

Because if you get the aggregate numbers you you can still sell ads based on those numbers.

I don't know.

If you don't control, I think it's hard to sell ads on something you don't control.

I mean, from whoever we talk to, what is it?

I can do it.

Okay, man.

Forgetting.

I think if you went to a company and were like, hey, there's five guys we don't know that run a YouTube channel that also they look, it's like, well,

how do they even know the ad's going to be the channel's going to be?

Don't worry about it.

I'll take care of all that.

Okay, that's fine.

I think it's a stupid idea.

God bless those guys, but I think it's a novel idea.

And you know what?

Who gives a shit about it's all about finding something new.

That's true.

A new way to do business.

You know, that's how you stay fresh.

You know who would do that?

JP Morgan Chase.

J.P.

Morgan.

JP Morgan was always doing that stuff.

He's always straight.

He's like, what if we had a bank that was also an orphanage?

Yep.

You put the fucking little kids to work.

Put the kids to work.

Putting their little, making their little fingers and making rolls of pennies.

Put them to bed

old style

molest them naked i arched his eyebrows in a way that says old style means molest them i was thinking about that that ventrillo harassment video still one of the funniest collections of

i don't know that all time yeah you do the fucking uh that guy that would like hack ventrillo servers what's it's not a ventriloquist thing ventrillo was like a precursor to discord basically it was like like a chat server that you could, like, if you play games online, they didn't have their own like

native voice.

That's a good name.

Yeah.

Hey, Ventrillo.

Stop a favourite sex with your puppet.

There was some guy that went into one with like a Duke Nukem soundboard.

Oh, yes, I know that.

I know exactly the way you're doing.

There's like somebody's mom.

Yes, yes, that's a classic, of course.

Um, Pointer,

we're gonna get you bent.

We're gonna have you bent from the server.

I've got balls of steel.

Or what did they

And you've got you're all out of cum, too.

Just a fucking impotent woman.

I've got balls of steel.

Who is that?

I'm going to kill you, old style.

Balls of steel.

Balls of steel.

I've got balls of steel.

It is funny because that woman had no idea what she was getting into.

Are you gonna stay here or are you gonna leave?

I've got bowls of steel.

Okay, that's nice.

Bowls of steel.

Steel.

Steel.

Steel.

Bowls of steel.

There has to be somebody from the guild or somebody that we know.

Oh, I hope not because I don't think your mother's very happy about it.

I want every person name written down who's on the guild right now.

I've got bowls of steel.

That's so.

And when the

fucks.

I've got bowls of steel.

Get the fuck off.

Dude, I love it.

I mean, that woman has just never been trolled in her

life.

She doesn't understand what's going on.

Well, this is from the golden age, man.

Back when people weren't ready for it.

People didn't know how to handle their shit online.

And ironically, those people won.

Because now the internet is like, if you come online with that attitude,

like they give you a TV show.

Right, right, right.

Everyone's hurting my feelings.

You're like, one of the bravest.

This is the most beautiful.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow, you should see this guy.

He's one of the biggest facts we've ever seen.

Wow.

Everybody loves him.

Everybody loves how much of a fucking loser this guy is.

I've got balls of steel.

I've got balls of steel.

My dick can't get hard.

My dick sucks.

I've got a little dick.

My dick's small and it doesn't work.

Oh, fuck.

Damn, I love being out here in the fucking country.

Yeah.

We should, I wish there was, is there's a mountain nearby, right?

There's a hike we can go do.

Let's go do that.

We didn't do shit yesterday.

Yeah, I would like to do a little hike.

We should probably, you want to go, like,

Adam's probably not even going to be up by the time this is done.

We should go get some

bacon or something for breakfast.

Yeah,

I'm down.

Yeah, take a little trip to the grocery store.

I would also like some.

This coffee's not bad, but I want some like some better coffee?

No, just like milk or something to put in.

Uh-huh.

Just because it's like I'm getting tired of drinking.

Creamer.

Getting tired of drinking black coffee.

I've got balls of steel.

I've got balls in my ass.

I've got a man's balls in my ass.

I've got dick in my mouth.

It's me, Dick Suck'em.

Dick Suckum.

Pull on your pants.

Pull on your pants.

Let me CC your penis.

I want to suck your dick.

I'm here to suck dick and chew bubblegum.

And all the bubblegum's in my ass.

All the bubblegum is actually more dick.

And when I said bubblegum, I meant penis.

I'm here to suck dick and eat ass and get fucked in my mouth and then my ass after that

I'm here to I'm here to get bent over and fucked until I'm out of room in my ass and then you gotta fuck my mouth and I drink all the cum and throw it up all over your dick to lube you up so you can fuck me in the ass again and eat bubblegum

Ridge wallet oh my god what a I love Ridge Wallet I love my Ridge Wallet but it might be time for I'm a I kind of want to, I'm going to hit them up and get another.

Getting you one, something fresh for the season?

Yeah, just the other one I have is fine, but you can have it actually.

I'm not a Ridge Wallet

so much.

It's, you know what, I don't need what I was going to say, Nick, is I don't need it because I already have one.

It sucks because it's like, you know, you do these reads and we have to lie about the product and this.

But the,

like,

I will say that I, like, instantly, because I did, I did like Real Ass Podcast or whatever and Lewis had it.

Yes.

And that was like the fidget spinner era

before he became a professional fighter.

Fighting.

Yeah.

And so he's like, check this out.

And I'm like, just.

Come on.

Whatever you like is probably gay, Lewis.

Yeah, it's gay.

Don't just stop.

And it happened to not be for once.

Dude, well, because, you know.

Like, I mean, they sent us them, and then I just started because my wallet was fucked up.

So my plan was to just use the Ridge wallet.

Until I went back to

go get a regular, nice leather wallet.

Yeah.

And it's been.

Now, I will say the regular wallets are fucking impractical.

Who gives a fuck?

You don't need all that shit.

You just need something for a couple cards and IDs.

Yeah, because

when you first see the Ridge wallet, you're like, well, where am I going to put all my shit?

Look,

I have six years worth of receipts.

Like, all this bullshit that you don't fucking need.

And then the Ridge wallet makes you pare down your stuff.

So my,

there's like a whole subreddit called like Daily Carry where people are like, check out my loadout or whatever, and they'll have like they always put their shit out on like um you know, those like those like kind of soft rubber grids that you use with an X-Acto knife or whatever.

Yeah, I've seen those, yes.

It's just like tactical stuff.

Well, they act like it's a fucking drug bust, yeah, when they just have like, yeah, they have all their shit laid out to go, like, work in a call center doing technical stuff.

The best is like half of them have guns also.

Something like a gun, a ridge wallet, a compass.

Right, right, right.

A mustache.

What are you preparing for?

Be honest with yourselves.

Well, I don't want the C, see, I don't like your Ridge Wallet because I have the one that's a phone case.

That's my shit.

Yeah.

I just like carrying one thing.

I want a phone case.

I want to put my ID.

I love the naked phone.

I love the naked phone.

See,

I like the Ridge Wallet phone case.

I don't like the naked phone because I'll fuck it up.

I will fuck it up too.

I finally, i've never broken a phone ever and the well i had the iphone 10 and i finally broke it but i was like i would throw that thing across the room all the time yeah you know i'd come home and i'd like you know i'd take off i cut off all my clothes with a pair of scissors right right

i never really learned how to undress myself or

do anything in life um

yep you come home you cut off all your clothes you get mad you your boyfriend hasn't texted you and you throw the phone against the wall, which is what you do every day.

But what's more importantly is that

it doesn't matter how hard you throw it, the ridge wall will never break.

Yeah.

And it's good.

Yeah, they don't break.

It's very...

Why the fuck can't I ever find the fucking car?

Literally every episode.

Fucking take snap screenshot and put it in your favorites.

Well, you know, I have them all in like a Google Drive.

Like, I have all the copy in a folder on Google Drive.

Yes.

When I open Google Drive on my phone, it's like, oh, here's a bunch of bullshit you don't want.

Do recents.

I do do recents, but then it's like, so recent, and it's, it's, because I also use Google Drive for everything.

Right.

So it's all of my like accounting shit.

It's fucking like, yeah, you know.

Line one, a hundred thousand extra small condoms.

Yeah,

expenditure line two.

Shut up.

Expenditure line three.

There you go.

Oh, I have to go to starred.

A subscription to game.

Starred.

And then I go to podcast

and then for whatever

$400,000.

And here either.

Expenditure three.

Yeah.

So when you go to Google Drive, you go to starred because I guess the app one has starred, and then the fucking desktop one.

Expenditure four.

A tiny dress for a little woman.

Yeah,

for my three-foot wife.

No, you wear it.

No.

It's a little woman's size because you like being exposed mostly.

I like being exposed.

A dress.

A dress where they like being

exposed.

Yeah, it feels sexual to you.

Add the starred.

Perfect.

There we go.

I just did it.

Stard.

Live re copy.

Wow.

Yeah.

We did it.

What the fuck is like the shortcuts app on iOS?

I don't know.

Like, I love that every like every every like couple iterations of whatever software, they'll like roll out.

They'll have some new feature that some dickhead like Gil from the Simpsons guy at Apple is probably like, this is gonna be

this is gonna be the thing that everybody wants to use.

The shortcuts app.

Look, all you have to do is you learn how to create iOS-specific macros.

It's basically you just re

it's just your fucking

your phone

again.

It's just they're grouped in the same exact little box as you already fucking grouped them in.

It's fucking stupid if you ask me.

It's gay.

Let me do a sorta cut for me to look at a pussy.

It's gay and it makes me pissed off.

I want to do a sorta cat.

I hit the button.

I look at a titties.

Now that's a shortcut I can get behind.

And I'm looking at the shortcut options.

It's like, you know what?

I'm going to start using shortcuts.

How about you fucking cut to the Ridge Wallet ad copy very shortly?

Oh, yeah.

That's live read copy and it's Blue Chew, Cushy Dreams, McWalter, Landscape, my bookie.

It's not in here.

Come on, grab a mic.

You wake up.

Grab a mic.

We just started.

You wake up too late, dude.

Just grab a mic.

Hello?

Hold on, you got to press the button, Nick.

There you go.

Hello?

Hey, Adam.

Why don't you talk about your experience with Ridge Wallet?

The dreams you had about it.

Were you sleeping extra long?

What?

What?

God damn, he just woke up.

What?

You were sleeping extra long because you were dreaming of the Ridge Wallet, weren't you?

Oh,

yeah, I was having great dreams about the Ridge Wallet.

It was great.

Damn, I just want to get a picture of you looking nice, dude.

Do I look like shit, right?

You look horrible.

I hit too many mango claws last night.

She got wild over here in the cabin.

We played katan.

Some almost killed me.

I play with passion.

I play with fire.

He's a passionate competitor.

I'm a passionate competitor.

Save here.

I did it.

I fucking did it.

You did it.

Thank God.

We've been looking for the Ridgewall copy for like four minutes.

Oh.

Wait, so you're like 20 minutes in?

Yeah, that's right.

You're in the second read right now?

Come on, man.

Just wake me up.

We were doing you a favor.

You weren't doing me a favor.

It's nice.

We're giving you the day off.

You're not giving me the day off.

We're giving you one whole episode off, dude.

It holds up to 12 cards plus room for cash.

There's 30 colors in style.

The style is including carbon fiber.

Oh, you know what?

I'm going to ask them to give me that burnt titanium one.

That's awesome.

You should.

I'm going to try this.

I have the carbon fiber one now, which makes me feel like

a little Honda.

Dude, they have a fresh fresh.

I drive around and I put my hand on my hip and I look over my shoulder and I have I have the ridge wallet hooked on my ass.

Yeah.

And I go into,

we're out here in the woods.

I go into these country bars and I'm like, did anyone order a Honda?

And people are like,

we don't know whether to beat you up because you're regular gay or because you're autistic gay.

Whatever you're doing bothers me so viscerally that I'm

short-circuiting.

I'm having a meltdown because you're doing a gay.

I want to fuck you up for two reasons.

I do not understand what the Honda is.

What the joke is.

It doesn't make any fucking sense.

You are so deeply embarrassing as a human being that it is making me want to kill my own unborn son.

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Did anyone order a Honda?

What the hell are you talking about?

What the fuck are you talking about?

Who is that mad fucking weirdo?

Are you trying to have sex with me?

Beep, beep.

I think he's talking about, he's got a carbon fiber wallet.

Sort of looks like a Honda, I guess.

Well, you know how the risers will get like a carbon fiber hood on their car, like it's a car modification, but it's not even specific to Hondas.

Even Japanese cars.

I mean, you can put carbon fiber on anything.

It's just like a

way to reduce the weight.

Oh.

Oh, I got it.

So, yeah, so anyway, I think that's what he's doing, but I don't know.

I believe that's it.

And then he's pretending he's got his ass stuck out like a homosexual would.

It's made with RFID blocking technology that protects you from digital pickpocketers.

That's a thing that's been happening a lot.

More and more.

Oh, sir.

Any oil for my microchips, have you?

I get digital pickpocketed constantly.

Left and right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Every time your girlfriend's like, why the hell did somebody order gay porn on my computer?

Yeah, it's like I've been digitally pickpocketed.

These gestures.

It's a little

British child robot.

That's good.

Yeah, a little street urchin robot.

Oh, beep, beep, govner.

Beep, beep, little WD-44.

Look, quick there, Governor, over there.

Quick, get his pockets.

Check for microchips and circuitry.

We can eat.

We live off circuitry.

Use promo code Come Town for 10% off your order.

That's right.

And you want to do it right the fuck now.

Free worldwide shipping and returns.

Going to ridgewallet.com slash Cometown and use code Come Town

for a fucking 10% off.

That sounds great.

There's something like

a weird vibe on the show now.

I don't know.

Yeah, it was pretty fun.

I don't know.

Well, we'll finish this one up and we'll try and figure out what changed.

But we were really rolling there for a while.

Yeah, tell me about it.

It was like you were getting in a zone where you'd be able to explore.

You could just knock on the door.

You'd be able to explore something like the digital pitpocket.

Right.

And the idea of like taking it, you're doing a joke with that.

And just kind of running with it fully.

Rather.

Instead of, yeah, someone just saying, oh, yeah, I got digital pickpocket.

Just repeating the word.

And expecting the word itself.

So you're mad at me.

Expecting the word itself.

You're mad at me.

You're doing like a punitive thing where you could have woken me up, but this is like an extension of a greater thing where you're mad.

You've been mad at me.

No.

For the last

time.

Honestly,

we thought it would be funny.

We thought it would be nice, actually.

It wouldn't be nice.

Oh, to do the show without.

But you wake up and then it's like, hey, but guess what?

You know it wouldn't have been nice.

We're already done with one.

You know it wouldn't have been nice.

And then

we could go get breakfast and then we could do another one.

I wake up.

We have one just for us that we keep, we don't release, and it's just for us.

It's not going to be just for us.

We'll have one that's just for us.

We'll keep it in a little cylinder ridge mixer frame.

We'll have a special version of the podcast.

It's just the three of us and we're not, and it's just, you can take it home.

You can put it on your mantle, hang it up on the fridge.

And you can press the button.

It'll be like one of those cards, a greeting card, and you open it and it plays the full episode.

Listen, I went to Radio Shack and I made a fake version of the mixer with even more buttons that you can take home with you.

And you can press all the buttons.

There's a little card horn in there.

You press it, and it's like,

it's got a little steering wheel.

It feels like you're driving.

You took it to

a Fisher-Price mixer.

Fisher-Price podcasting equipment.

My first studio.

Baby's first thing to fuck up.

I used to fucking do little radio shows on.

Are you actually upset?

Yeah, I'm offended.

Really?

Yeah, and I blame you, not Savros.

No, it's true.

I know that Savros was like kind of like one of the collaborators before the Holocaust, but you were definitely one of the Gestapos.

What are you talking about?

In this instance.

No, honestly, I was like, let's just say.

Savros was a Danish farmer.

How is this the Holocaust?

Maybe if you want to go down remotely close to the Holocaust.

Maybe if you want to show up.

Yeah, the Nazis came in

and forcibly gave the Jews a day off work.

It wasn't the day off work.

Without affecting their income in the slightest.

Yeah, we're not Dax.

We allowed the Jews to

sleep in and get an extra paycheck.

It's 10.30 a.m.

If you said we have work at 10, I would have been up.

I would have had an alarm.

No.

We don't have work at 10.

We have work whenever we feel like it.

We have work whenever we feel like it.

Right, exactly.

I understand.

And I, you know, I.

You know me.

I'm an early riser.

I'm waking up.

I'm thinking about new business model dealership ideas.

Yeah, we talked about it.

What are you making a dealership?

Don't worry, just listen to the show.

Just listen to the show.

I'm not going to listen to the show.

I never listen to the show.

Adam?

Yeah.

You don't spit in our face when we did this show.

I'm not spitting in your face.

Now I'm the bad guy.

You are the bad guy.

We did a fucking nice thing for you.

We did a nice thing.

It wasn't take the day off.

Honestly, if I had woken up and exactly done the show, you know how happy I'd be?

I would have been like, this is the best day of my life.

Well, maybe tomorrow I'll do that.

You both will be sleeping.

I'll wake up at five.

People will love that episode.

What, people?

What do you mean, people?

It won't happen.

See, Jews don't have waking up early.

Okay, now you're bringing up Jews because they don't have

Jews.

That's true.

They never culturally

train themselves to me.

them.

They're never trying to meet Santa Claus.

You know that's one of the biggest traumas of my life.

The Judeo-Christian?

The Judeo-Christian?

Yeah, everyone was goddamn waking up early for presents.

The Goyam have waking up early built into them because they're always trying to meet Santa.

That's right.

You're always trying to catch Santa.

This man that brings good fortune overnight.

No.

We wake up

at 9:30.

You ever wonder why the financial markets don't open until 9 a.m.?

What is that?

9.30.

9.30.

Which is fucking obscene.

9:30 to the floor.

It should open it like why

because people trade on the West Coast.

Guess which kind of

sleepy group of people

owns the markets?

Maybe we'll wake up at 8:40.

Because stockbrokers on the West Coast have to start at 6:30.

Once again, we're playing a round of real answer or joke answer.

No, it's not real answer or joke answer.

We found ourselves

when it comes to the oldest.

Oh, oh, it's not because Jews own the

sleepy Jews.

I don't know the Marcus.

It's not because of a stereotype.

I just pulled out of my ass to justify

doing a podcast.

The sleepy Jew is one of the oldest

anti-Semitic ever.

Sleepy is not even one of the oldest.

It's sonicable.

I'm so tired.

It's too many days.

They call me the eight-day laborer.

The eight-day laborer?

Uh-huh.

That's something there.

Yeah, eight crazy day laborers.

Eight crazy days and laborers and nights.

Nights, yeah.

But basically, Adam, this was kind of like Christmas where you wake up.

And you're wearing my socks.

Those are my socks.

You're out of your fucking mind.

I bought these on Amazon like two years ago.

They came out of my house from my drawer.

You're fucking, you

waking up, looking at the markets, demanding everyone stole things from it.

I did look at the markets.

Of course you did.

How'd you do?

I'm doing okay today.

Yeah, everything's up.

It was a rough Friday, but yeah, there's a vaccine announcement, so everyone's doing all right.

Respect.

I don't trust the markets.

Vaccine.

I only buy land.

That's why

I'm counting on Greek town

more, Maryland, to shoot up in value.

Dude,

that's the other idea.

I'm going to just crowdsource opinions on all of our ideas, okay?

And by that, I mean only if you know what you're talking about, right?

Okay,

but

were you here yesterday, Adam, when we were discussing?

Yeah, what's that?

The bus?

Yeah, get a bus.

I've been here the whole time, except for this morning when I was sleeping because I drank too many mango white claws last night.

I need an extra little shut eye.

You buy an empty lot in Brooklyn, and then you park the bus on it and you retrofit the bus to be a podcast studio.

Then we can go on the road,

take the bus, but also just use it as an in-town studio.

Yeah, I don't know.

And now you're saying that, and our competitors are going to beat us to it.

Lewis is going to listen to this, and he's going to get

a fleet of buses.

Lewis's move is always moving the direction of pretend radio station.

That's true.

That's true.

He wants to make a serious XM

where we're going John Madden.

Yeah.

Across the country getting pushy.

I'm a big fan of that idea.

We're going to pussy.

Do you have a podcasting studio?

It's too hard.

That's ripped torn.

That's ripped torn.

Yeah.

I don't think we need a whole bus.

I think we need a van.

Nah, van's too small.

No, we need a bus, dude.

Why do we need a bus?

The gas will be expensive.

Only when we're on the road.

I mean, it's like a marginal difference in terms of expenses.

I get it.

Also, it's a nice domestic touring is a much nicer alternative to flying.

Do you see yourself as the driver?

Do you see us hiring a coach driver?

I would hire a driver.

I don't know.

I think you have to hire a driver.

Not so has to be the dealer and to get the rupees.

If you retrofit,

you need a CDL if you're driving something that has the capacity to carry more than 16 people.

If we retrofit it and it's just a studio and it's basically like a motorhome,

then you might not need the CDL.

Well, that's why I'm also saying we should get a van because that's easier to drive.

I could drive a bus.

Yeah, but if we have a van.

I'm just saying we're not going to sleep in the motherfucking van.

Well, you want to get like an Econo?

Huh?

We could, I guess.

Yeah, I want to get like an Econa line.

You go to Grand Teton's.

What was that?

I'd see a Cona lot, they would be cramped.

They're shitty.

I mean, you would have to get, at the very least, you'd have to get a Sprinter

or like a little school bus in RetroFit to see.

I like that.

Sprinters would be nice.

And then the studio is just sideways in the thing.

It's all studio.

You know what I'm saying?

No, you do one, like,

trust me, there's a way to build it out.

You got a lot of room in a bus.

Okay.

Okay.

Would the equipment run off the battery?

Well, you got like a width of like

at the very least

internally, like seven, eight feet.

That's true.

What does the equipment run off of?

There's like a generator on the bus.

Yeah, we have a generator.

That's right.

We have to, but we have to run the bus every time.

Yeah, why not?

I don't know.

Oh, when the bus is parked?

Yeah.

There's probably a way to hook, like, you know, I don't know, fucking electricity up to the bus because the bus has shit that you know you would just set all that up okay all right i'm asking the questions here yeah i'm asking the questions we need answers to i mean we'd have to get a loan anyways to to do all this shit so it's like i figure roll that into the cost is getting like the electricity hooked up to the thing also like some kind of like hardwire data connection when it's just parked there yeah

Now it's starting to seem like there's a lot of parks.

And we can sleep in Walmart parking lots because those are open 24 hours a day.

Maybe we just buy a van and drive around in it.

The problem is that there's an idea, and the idea is ambitious.

Right.

And you want to dial it back so far that it just becomes a bad idea.

Yeah.

A van sucks.

No, I don't want to buy a van.

I don't want to fucking.

A van detour in

order.

Rent a van whenever you want to go on tour.

Well, then maybe that's what we should do.

There's no point in having a van still.

That sounds like it sucks.

No, we need a big, big, big fucking bus.

Yeah, then we'd stop off at YMCA's, take showers.

Yep, meet the fellas around the street.

There's a shower in the bus.

They have a shower in the bus?

Yeah,

we'll get it all set up.

So then it would...

That would run off of gray water, right?

What's gray water?

It's what in RVs and campers,

it's like water you can't drink, but you could shower with.

What you shit inside of in a mega bus?

Or is that just a vat?

No, I think that's just

blue, isn't it?

Yeah,

one thing I keep forgetting to do, I want to make sure people go buy my calendars.

Oh, yeah, for Christmas.

These are out now.

By the time this comes out, you guys will have the stopby.biz, the 2021 Stobby Baby calendar is out there.

Go buy it right now.

If you get it right now, you'll probably get it before Christmas or so.

I don't know what day this is coming out, but whatever.

Just

today.

Yeah,

come.town also.

Go get some t-shirts.

For shirts, you're closing.

We got your stocking stuff

figured out, folks.

Calendars and shirts.

We're closing in on the

final couple days here to because this comes out December 2nd to

buy shit before the holidays.

Exactly.

Come.town.

If you get it now, you'll be able to have it before the holidays.

And that'll probably...

That's it?

That's it.

That's the show.

See you later, folks.

Travel insurance sounds boring.

Until you need it, Insure My Trip makes it easy.

Compare top-rated plans, get expert help, and travel with confidence.

Whether it's a last-minute trip or a bucket-list adventure, we've got your back with unbiased guidance and smart tech.

No pressure, just peace of mind.

And if you're not sure what you need, our licensed agents are here to help.

No bots, just real humans.

Be prepared, not paranoid.

Visit InsureMyTrip.com and travel like a pro.

InsuremyTrip.com.

The clock is ticking to get the most of your summer behind the wheel of the upscale all-electric Jeep Wagoneer S and innovative Chrysler Pacifica plug-in hybrid.

And right now, get 0% financing for 72 months on the 2025 Chrysler Pacifica plug-in hybrid and the 2025 Jeep Wagoneer S.

Plus you may qualify for up to a 7,500 federal tax credit.

See your California Jeep brand dealer and California Chrysler dealer today.

Finance offer not compatible with any other offer.

0% ATR financing for 72 months equals $13.89 per month per 1,000 financed for well-qualified buyers through Stellantis Financial, regardless of down payment.

Not all customers will qualify.

Contact dealer for details.

The federal tax credit is offered by a third third party and is subject to change without notice.

Please confirm this information to ensure its accuracy and availability.

Consult a tax professional for details and eligibility requirements.

Income and other restrictions may apply.

Purchases are not eligible if the customer exceeds adjusted gross income limitations: $300,000 for married filing jointly taxpayers, $225,000 for head of household filers, and $150,000 for single filers.

Offers end September 30th.

Chrysler and Cheap are registered trademarks.