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Welcome.
Welcome, you motherfuckers, to the pussy parade.
It is me, Miss Dr.
Pussy, the robot king of eating.
Come, wait, are we ready to go?
We're going.
Stops doing a robot that has a parade or something.
I don't know.
Damn, dude, you derailed Dr.
Pussy the robot.
Damn.
You fucking ass.
That's bush league.
Well, I'm the joker, baby.
Nick and I just saw the joker.
Oh, Nick, you went as well?
Yeah.
Yeah, we both did.
We're both gone.
Damn, dude.
I guess we have to go do the Chopo thing after.
Yeah,
we're going to do, but, you know, these are going to be the fresh takes.
Fresh takes, yeah.
They're going to get the secondhand takes.
First of all, hands down, awesome.
Really?
Yeah, I loved it.
It's great.
Okay.
It's really good.
I'm going to go pump it up.
I mean, you can.
Obviously, you could point out flaws in the movie or whatever if you wanted to.
There's a lot of dumb shit.
There's a lot of dumb shit, but I don't understand how you could sit down and watch that movie and not enjoy it.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I had a great time at the movie.
Wow.
It's fucking tense when it needs to be tense.
It's really funny, sometimes unintentionally.
The violence is done really well.
What redeems it is like you like people forget that Todd Phillips is a very funny comedy director.
So the times when that movie needs to be funny, it's like really fucking funny.
Interesting.
There are a couple little like sight gags and like set pieces that are very funny.
You can laugh.
They show your penis?
Yeah, they showed my penis a couple couple times.
Because that would be
a whole lot.
Well, it's kind of a rule of three.
The first time it was funny, the second time, not so much.
And then the third time.
Yeah.
It works like Trump does, where you can laugh at it for being dumb, but it's ultimately still funnier than you.
And that's what those moments do.
It elevates the movie
above the criticism from
boring people.
They're like, oh, there you go.
This is, you know, interesting.
Dumb for whatever reason.
But, anyways, point number two, it's about Adam.
Is the Adam Friedled
Joker is Adam Friedland?
I heard you.
You were whispering to Will some things that he was laughing at, and I said, what did he say?
And Will wouldn't repeat them.
So I don't know what.
It's 100% Adam.
That's awesome.
One.
The haircut, for sure.
The gay clothes.
The gay body.
The gay clothes.
The same thing.
Not getting pussy.
Yeah, right.
I don't have a gay body.
Not like just
picking up the courage for six months to finally do a comedy club.
Yeah.
Thinking he did a lot better than he did.
That's not true either.
That's what happens.
Dancing around his apartment, imagining being dipped by a man.
Yeah, there was a little sounds a lot like you, actually.
I haven't seen it.
But then the real,
I haven't seen it.
Getting into bed with your mother, bathing your mother.
He bathes his mother?
Yeah, he's a good son.
It's famous about having interactions with black people, which
happens prominently in the movie.
It wasn't about any black person.
It was about the love interest.
Yeah,
the movie was totally Adam being like, I saw this black lady on the train and she was like all about me or whatever.
And then it turns out that was a lie that he came up with.
Well, there's a difference between a lie and a hallucination.
Okay.
I wouldn't say that someone that is schizophrenic is lying all the time.
I don't know.
You would.
They're fucking liars.
Yeah.
The only joker I've ever identified with is the I'm the Joker baby kid,
Joker, who is still I think the greatest joker of all what about that guy that sings karaoke in like Santa Cruz or whatever oh that guy's gay is he yeah that guy sucks I've only seen him I've only seen a video of him doing it and I thought you know
yeah I know I loved it I loved it too there was like the draft house did some gay ass documentary about the Joker before the movie
and it really did not put me in a good mood to see the movie and the movie completely surpassed my expectations it didn't uh it it didn't like uh fucking
um they didn't do any of the searching everyone was being searched elsewhere
is that real i don't know so if you heard they went through her bag you heard it from nick guys if you have a gun you can bring it
go to the draft house but i was yeah i i thought it'd be real tight screen just like i could shave my mustache but leave my beard and get like a whole bunch just decked out and like just super muslim shit
and then get like searched on the way and be like why because it's all because i'm a muslim is that why I'm being searched?
Because I'm a Muslim man.
You don't trust me to go into the movie theater?
They're like, no, it's because you're white.
It's the Joker movie.
Muslims can do whatever they want in here.
Yeah, to this one, that's not you for this one.
Or just dressing up like a Joker and going through the airport and be like, oh, because I'm a white man.
Damn, going to the going, flying as the Joker is a great move.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, you could do anything as the Joker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to vote for Trump as the Joker.
Do chaos.
I'll be waiting in line.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
I'm going to go normally.
I'm about to vote for chaos.
In the ballot, in the ballot bot when you're in there, you know, you just go, I'm the Joker, baby.
Wow, I'm the Joker, baby.
Hell yeah.
You see, they're also making some dumbass Harley Quinn movie where it's like Harley Quinn and like four women.
Margot Robbie?
It's literally like a successful
They immediately had to make Girl Joker.
Dude.
They saw how much, how successful Guy Joker was.
They're like, uh-oh, we mess up the formula.
But it's not even that.
They took the one from the, it's the woman from the Jared Leto.
Like, it's a simultaneous other Joker universe.
I hope they make Harley Quinn.
It's the Suicide Squad universe.
How funny would it be if that just tanked, just makes zero dollars?
I don't know, dude.
I think women can be incredibly chaotic.
I think they make no sense.
I think they can, but like, again, they wanted this.
When Captain Marvel came out, they said, the way this, we want to have the battleground for this dumb cultural dispute should be retarded gay comic book 80s.
That's the bellwether of who's who's winning the culture war.
What a terrible time to be alive.
So for the faggot incel movie to make, you know,
break every box office record.
No, it was like Warner Brothers PR like drummed that up and it fucking worked.
They fucking killed it.
It absolutely worked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because before this,
I was going to see it because I see all these dumbass movies.
Yeah.
But I didn't think it was going to be good.
I thought it was going to be like just Joe.
How do you say his name?
Joachim?
Joachim.
Yoakin Noah.
Joachim Field.
Do you really not know?
It's Joaquin.
That's right.
That's right.
I mean, it's not like your only reason.
That was a mean move.
That was a mean move.
You've seen Gladys.
That was an Adam.
It was not an Adam.
You were doing an Adam.
First of all, I would never steal a bit.
I'm telling on myself.
Okay.
Second of all, I just literally don't.
Not that Adam's stealing the bit, the Adam's saying the word wrong.
I know.
If I stole a bit, I would at least be funny, is what I'm saying.
I'm saying it wasn't a stolen bit.
It was a mispronunciation.
You do that to try and be funny.
At Katz's Deli.
I did it because I had cat roll yesterday and I spaced it.
At Katz's Deli, they have Joaquin Phoenix, and it's spelled W-A-K-E-E-N.
One of my favorite parts of the movie is where they just show that tight shot of where he wrote in his notebook, the worst part about mental illness is people
expect you to act like you don't have it or whatever.
It was supposed to be like a nod, like, yeah, people don't take mental illness seriously.
Anyways, here's a movie about how they paint themselves as clowns.
Okay, I guess that's what that point is.
Yeah,
that's the other thing Nick and I were talking about in the car is like the like the gay, like lefty Twitter politics take on the movie that it was actually about subversive politics and not just something
that Joker and kill people have been taking that position.
Because Thomas Wayne is the bad guy in the movie.
So his mom's crazy, and his mom tells him that he's actually Thomas Wayne's son.
But it's like, that's sort of vague.
You don't know if he just did some rich people shit and had her thrown in an insane asylum.
Oh, so wait, is he actually?
It doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter.
No, it matters, dude.
Yeah.
It's his brother, dude.
Fuck.
Yeah.
That matters.
That's cool.
That's family, too.
Do I want to see the movie now?
I mean, I do, but I really want to.
Yeah, but anyway, but like that whole interpretation.
New York is like a parallel or whatever, because I mean, it is supposed to be about urban crime in New York
in the 80s.
Yeah, in the 80s, up until the 90s, it reached a boiling point in the 90s.
And in the 90s, they're like, okay,
let's just be as racist as possible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's throw them all in jail and put MM stores everywhere.
Let's fucking put babies in jail for shoplifting.
But yeah, but anyway, that whole interpretation and that whole like discourse about how it's actually about Antifa is just completely like how would it be about Antifa?
It's not
but people accepted that with like that loose observation with fucking Dark Knight Rises.
Well, that I heard that was actually about Antifa.
Oh, really?
Yeah, well, I heard it was because Dark Knight Rises.
Heard no bane was Occupy.
I forgot.
He forgot what the thing is.
I heard a really fucking gay man say that a bunch.
Yeah.
Who?
Rip Torney?
Just died.
You shouldn't be saying that about him.
No.
If you can shuffle my dick, please.
also i'm the joker baby i'm the joker and i'm gay you don't know how i got these scars
i'm the joker baby having gay sex i'm the gay joker baby
i did get that one well
damn it larry i'm the gay joker damn it larry i'm the joker baby
um yeah
rip taylor just died to be to be to go to heaven and be with his lover rip torn
They take turns.
Yeah.
Tinker, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor.
It's a gay sex game we play called Tinker Taylor Taylor Rip.
Rip my ass and tear my ass.
Damn.
Damn, that's right.
Rip Torn did die.
Most famously known for ending every jackass film.
Yeah.
Yep, that's true.
I don't get what.
Shuck my dick, you can touch my penis.
He was just gay and he threw glitter at the ends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What did he do before that for real?
I think
he hosted comedy shows, I think.
He was like a host.
I feel like he was on Hollywood Squares, but I'm not going to check.
No, that's a gay.
Bruce Valange.
Bruce Valange, yeah.
No, there's an even gayer, older guy than that.
He got Match Game on TV, which I've like I didn't know.
Hold on, what's that gay guy's name, dude?
Roy Cohn?
Adam Friedland.
No, shut up, bro.
Yeah, the scenes in the movie where he's like just dancing around with his
just effeminate body being like, Everybody's making fun of me.
I kept going like, that's
the will.
That's not how I act.
Nobody takes me seriously.
That's not how I act.
Everybody wants to laugh at me and nobody wants to laugh with me.
He doesn't get pussy ever, huh?
No, he fits.
Harley Quinn.
Yeah, I get pussy.
There's no Harley Quinn.
There's a black woman that lives in his building that he stalks, and then he has like a fever dream.
She's from the show Atlanta.
She's hot.
Where they're dating.
Oh, she is.
Yeah, she's hot.
It's Zoe Zolzanzu.
No, it's not Zoe Saldano.
I said Zoe Zolzanzu.
It's a different person.
Oh, no, no, it's not her either.
It's Zolzanza Zalitzabar.
Zendayaza?
No.
It's not Zendaya.
It's Zenjaya Jalanzio.
I forgot her name, but she looks good.
She's so hot, dude.
The mom and just meeting a black woman.
Zenjaya Jalunzayan, I presume.
No.
What?
My name is Britney.
Not even close.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Brittany Smith.
I'm sorry.
I'm the Joker, baby.
Well,
I'm the Joker, baby.
You see,
I...
What did that guy do in the Joker Baby video?
Does he just say it?
Can someone tell me?
Where's the time at?
We're about 15 minutes in, though?
Not even
almost.
I mean, it looks 12, 12 and a half, 12.5, kind of like my dick times three.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Um, she is really hot.
Damn.
Do you see her titties?
No.
I mean, he goes on, like, one date with her.
Oh, he goes on a date with her?
Yeah, he has, like, a, he has, he experiences psychosis.
He doesn't go on her.
No, he doesn't go on a date with her, right?
But, I mean, he's like, he has this psychotic break where he thinks he's, like, doing well at the comedy club and she's laughing.
Yeah, it is a lot like me, honestly.
Yeah.
damn interesting you're right
yeah i guess i can't see it till like wednesday late in the day and i think he kills her daughter too uh that's he kills three black women in the movie nice and uh
and one of them's a child so two black women yeah which is part of the reason i liked it
how much dying does that happens how many people die yeah is it a lot um let's see how many people does he kill?
Just ballpark it.
He kills three white men who are rich.
No, I don't want to know specifically.
Three and then
four white men.
Stop telling
five white cops.
Shut up, guys.
Who's the fifth?
His co-worker.
I'm not listening.
La la la la la.
Glenn Fleshley.
Is there 20?
No, I don't think that many.
Okay.
Yeah, less people.
Anyway, so it was a realistic amount of people that you could kill without the cops.
It's a good thing they did a period piece because imagine how gay that movie would be if they tried to like work in him being canceled on and Twitter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's coming, dude.
No, it's not.
The reboot.
The canceled Joker.
Maybe in maybe in Girl Joker.
When they do Girl Joker, she's going to be like, you know, she needs $20,000 to start a podcast.
That gets given.
The New York Times gives her $45,000 to start a podcast with two of her and her friends.
And then she gets broken up with, so she can't start it for six months while she has to go have sex to get over being broken up with.
That sounds chaotic.
Times goes, listen, we're going to sue you if we can't get this money back.
And then she's like, I don't know what I'm going to do.
They're like, you could just start the podcast.
You just do it.
She's like,
now I feel like I'm being forced to do it.
You're not respecting my mental health issues.
Yeah, you are.
And she's like, well, now, and then she does girl Joker by accusing her boss of rape.
That's chaotic.
Yeah, he didn't rape her?
He didn't rape her.
No, none of them.
No, she's never been raped.
Yeah.
But she goes around and points it.
She's lying on it.
So that's what the Joker.
That would be the feeling of the Harley Quinn movie.
Yeah.
I mean, that would be evil, I guess.
Chaotic.
Adam, are you about to fucking chew gum in the middle of the podcast?
No, I was just going to keep it.
I was going to just chew it and then put it in my hand when I talk and then put it back in.
That's stupid.
That's twisted.
That's the kind of thing Arthur Fleckstein would do.
It's the character's name.
Is his real name?
Arthur Fleckberg.
Arthur Fleck, is it?
Arthur Fleckstein.
Does he fall into a Jewish?
Does he stop
Jewish?
Arthur.
Arthur Golden.
Yeah, Arthur Cranson Goldsteinberg.
I think is the character's name.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know they went in that kind of direction.
Yeah.
He spends 40 minutes at Shul.
It wasn't,
I guess it wasn't
television to be a joker.
He was in love with his mother.
He tried to stand up.
He's like, How come all the people that have all the money always get away with things?
And like, but Arthur, you have all the money and you always get away with things.
And he's like, Oh, right.
You're not allowed to say that, though.
Yeah, but no, but you're not allowed to point that out.
It's against the rules.
That's anti-Semitism.
That would be cool for Todd Phillips to do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen his first movie, The Gigi Allen Dog?
I know, man.
You ask every time it comes up.
It's so sick.
Stop petting my cat, dude.
I don't like the way the cat's enjoying that.
The cat's spurring, dude.
Stop.
The cat likes it.
You're disrespecting Nick and his home, dude.
What's up, you bitch?
Get him.
Bite at him.
Sick him.
You can't train a cat like that.
Yeah, you can.
Cats aren't trainable.
Well, I'm the Joker, baby.
I bet you someone can.
Dogs are retarded.
I'm the Jonas brothers.
They should say that.
That'd be something.
I'm Nick Jonas, baby.
Oh, yeah, they have a.
Want to know how I got these scarves?
I just get plastic surgery to look like Nick Jonas, and it doesn't go as bad
as my villain character.
His name is D.
Nick Jonas.
No, it's not Nick Jonas.
It's the Nick Jonas.
He was a guy.
He's also named Nick, but coincidentally.
He tried to get surgery and it left him with scars.
Oh.
Sorry.
I just.
He does kill a black woman for sure.
The social worker, yes.
And the woman and her kid, which is three others.
It's not, it's implied that they're killed.
It's not.
They don't.
It's also implied.
We don't need to talk about this, man.
You said you didn't want to see it.
No, I changed.
Yeah, you said it was going to be bad.
You knew it was going to be bad.
I didn't say I knew it was going to be bad.
Yeah, because girls on Twitter told you it was going to be bad.
No, I did not, motherfucker.
That's what you said to me.
No, I didn't say it to you.
You said I heard it from girls on Twitter.
Hey, guys, keep this under wraps, but I'm trying to get pussy from girls on Twitter.
No one can say this.
I'm trying to learn
the new pussy.
I'm learning new pussy techniques.
And if the Joker's got to take one on the chin, the Joker's got to take one on the chin.
And you know I love Joker stuff.
You know, good old Stop, the Joker lover.
You do love Joker.
I love Joker kind of stuff.
That kind of stuff.
You can't let women change you, Stop.
That's your point.
You're right.
I even fucking almost sold my purple suit and everything.
Yeah, but I'm glad I didn't.
Come on, bro.
It would be great if instead of like
Robert De Niro's late night talk show, he went on Steve Harvey's talk show.
Exactly.
And they're wearing the same suit.
No, they don't wear the same suit.
That's where he gets the suit.
Oh,
he's wearing one of Steve's.
So that's funny to you that police officers are being murdered?
And he's like, you know what, Steve?
You're a bad guy.
You know what you get when you cross a loner?
And Steve's like, oh, hell nah.
Just blast.
Steve done shot.
Don't come on my show wearing paint.
I'll kill everyone in the audience.
Steve's the one who kills everyone?
That would be awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, that would be awesome.
Well, okay.
A lot of fun
at the movies.
I guess I'll check out a Wednesday matinee.
You know, if I had come, you know for sure we would have died, right?
Yeah.
Because then Chapo and Comptown would have died at the Joker at a mass shooting.
It would have been the best culmination.
That's great because we went with Matt, and Matt was laughing the whole movie.
And there was a black woman in front of us who kept turning around, looking scared.
Yes.
And Matt laughing.
That is so fucking good.
Yeah.
Matt was laughing.
It's like the entire movie.
All these dumb fucking blogs have people convinced that they're in danger by going to the Joker movie.
I know.
It's crazy.
I mean,
James Holmes probably.
I remember the day after Aurora, I went to go see Dark Knight Rises with my girlfriend, and she's like, can we just be close to the emergency exits?
And it's like, how do you think the fucking world works?
Yeah.
There's going to be a thousand people.
There's just going to be a bunch of people doing Joker shootings now.
Statistically, I mean, look, there's been too many theater shootings, but statistically, what's it been five out of a million movies?
I don't know of any besides the Joker.
There's The Joker, there's Schumer.
Technically, it was a Schumer's movie, but no one went to see the movie.
So I don't think anyone died.
So the people, I think somebody just went in and like unloaded on an empty theater, and they were like, oh,
yeah, there was Train Wreck.
Wasn't there another one?
Train Wreck got shot up?
Yeah, you don't remember that?
No.
I kind of like Train Wreck.
Congratulations.
That must have been in the lady news.
LeBron was good in it.
LeBron was funny.
Sam Morrill's in the Joker movie.
Yeah.
Which is weird.
They shouldn't have been in the middle.
So Goleman.
They shouldn't have put real comedians in it.
And Greer Barnes, but not as a comedian.
Yeah.
As what?
As another one of the clowns.
Nice.
He works at a place with a clown place.
That's cool.
At the clown store.
Oh, interesting.
And did you notice one of the clowns was like a buff Chippendale-style clown?
Yeah.
It was me.
That was tough.
Yeah, one of the clowns was the clown from Spawn.
No, that was not me.
Yeah.
The buff guy was me, the hot guy.
The violator.
No.
The sexual boundary violator.
No, that's not me, dude.
I'm the guy that lies on the Joker to get pussy now.
Did the Joker ever fall in acid?
No.
No, that's too.
No.
No, no, that's...
Jack Nicholson, didn't the Jack Nicholson Joker fall in?
Yeah, he falls in Acid.
He's Italian.
He's an Italian mob guy, and then he falls in acid and becomes a clown.
Yeah, and they make in that movie, doesn't he kill?
Which
doesn't Jack Nicholson kill his family?
He kills his
main henchman.
In the Tim Burton movie?
That movie's stuck, dude.
Do people feel like that movie's good?
I liked it when I was a kid.
I think I tried to re-watch it recently, but it sucked.
I didn't make it the whole way through, though.
Oh, yeah, Batman Can't Turn His Neck in it.
Very funny.
Because of his suit?
Yeah, because of his costume.
Yeah.
It's it's funny
anyway.
Did Tim Burton do the Danny DeVito one?
He did, right?
Yeah, the Penguin.
Rihanna's about to be fucking
they just keep moving, though, they keep making more Batman shit.
Rihanna's Poison Ivy, and I think the one where the Twilight Guy is bad.
Like, why is there so many of these movies, bro?
Rihanna's Poison Ivy?
I do want to see that.
I want to just do it like because of Rihanna.
Gerard just pitched the article.
Joker teaches us that it's time to listen to white nationalists.
that it's time to tell
wocs to sit down quiet down shut up because the joker has a lot to do now it's the joker's turn
okay
you've had 18 months yeah we listened to you for two years and what did you do You made Lady Ghostbusters, Captain Marvel, Cancel Shane.
What's next?
Lady Joker, it's going to be bad.
Didn't you listen?
She accuses people of rape.
I already told you what the story is going to be.
She gets the podcast money.
She never does the podcast.
She just tweets about: if I did a podcast about this, would you guys listen to it?
And then a bunch of other girls go, Yes, 1 million percent fire emoji.
Yes.
Yes, you, oh my God, I have to listen to that.
And then it never happens.
And not only does it ever happen, but if it did, none of them would listen to it.
None of them would listen to it.
They would start their own podcast and be like, I don't know.
I don't know, but the buttons are too hard to press.
It's too hard to move the dial.
I don't know.
I make him.
So every woman on Twitter would do that?
Yeah.
They would be like, the buttons hurt my finger.
I can't.
The buttons hurt my finger.
Interesting.
Yeah.
That movie was great, dude.
I loved it.
All right.
Yeah.
I'm going to go to a story on Wednesday probably and see that shit.
Anybody who says it's bad can fuck off.
I'll tell them you said that.
That's so funny, Matt.
Scaring women.
Scaring a black woman.
I mean, look at him, too.
Of course.
If you're expecting the incident.
It was going to be him.
He's bearded.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
R.
Rowe was like the guys you should be worried about.
Be like, if you went to see Fruit Vale Station and there was like a black dude wearing a wife beater and his eyes didn't go any degree less than completely wide open.
Like
one of those guys.
There were no Fruit Vale Station station shootings, were there?
Of course not.
But me, being me, I would not want to be in the row in front of
the guy being like, that's right.
That is what they do.
Oh, fuck.
Important stuff going on.
I'm texting Will about what time we'll be over there, most likely.
Yeah, that's more important than our show.
Why not?
A different podcast.
Will
you do this, Adam?
Will
you suck my penis?
No.
Will you suck on his penis?
Suck on my dick.
Will you suck on my penis?
What do you say, Luann?
Will you suck on my penis?
Does Milhouse's dad ever get pussy after that?
Does he fuck a hot woman for a sec?
Or no?
Am I making that up?
His mom fucks a hot guy, right?
Yeah.
But does Millhouse...
Milhouse's mom's kind of a piece of ass.
I would fuck.
I love to fuck a bitch with blue hair, dude.
Yeah.
I love dumb hair.
Damn.
Will you let me taste your ass?
I would want, listen, if you're, I would 100%.
If some, like, think about a Halloween costume you'd like to fuck.
Millhouse's mom is all.
Dude, I was just saying that the other day.
When I watched that episode again, I was like, damn, Lou Ann Millhouse could get it.
Yeah.
Throw on a fucking blue wig, some fucking red glasses.
Because
her body's banging.
She's banging.
Yeah, her face.
stack.
Her face is just a big button.
I mean, her nose is half her head.
Well, doesn't she look like Milhouse?
She looks like Milhouse.
Yeah, they all look exactly the same.
Yeah.
Marge could definitely get it, dude.
Nah.
Come on.
Of course, she did.
If she let that hair down, young Marge Marge, remember young Marge, dude?
Yeah.
Well, let's do the ones we wouldn't fuck.
Lisa, Maggie.
Yeah.
I was going to say that.
On technicalities, I guess.
Yeah.
I wouldn't fuck Marge's sisters.
Definitely not.
Yeah, no.
I guess I would get domed from Edna, but I wouldn't hit.
Yeah.
I would fuck the B guy.
Yeah.
I, my assa, my asshole, Radam.
Apu's wife.
Definitely.
Oh, damn.
She's she might be one of the hottest in the whole show.
But she had nine kids.
Pre-her pussy getting blowed out.
Plus, you could fuck her in the ass.
Yeah, that's allowed in their religion.
That's part of the religion is you you can fuck her in the ass.
That's what
the elephant got said.
Yep.
Just like, imagine you kneeling and closing your eyes and asking that elephant,
can I bust in my wife's ass?
Please let me fuck my wife in the ass.
Can I please fuck my wife in the elephant?
Please, Baba Ganoush.
And he's like Baba Ganesh.
He's like, yeah.
Or just Ganesh.
Yeah, Baba Ganoush is an eggplant dish.
Baba Ganesh.
Now that's my kind of god, dude.
An elephant to feed you fucking eggplant dipped.
Smoke eggplant dip.
Baba Ganush is good.
Well, we're not done naming Simpsons characters, boys.
Lisa.
Girls that we'd fuck.
Lisa.
Lisa in the future?
No.
She sucks.
You still wouldn't fuck with Lisa Gaza.
Would you fuck the teacher?
Future Maggie, though.
Future Maggie.
Although, how old is she future Maggie?
She's good as shit.
She's a cartoon.
You're right.
You're right.
Good point.
I mean, technically, she was born in fucking, like, what, 1986.
Damn, she's older than us.
Yeah.
Well, not older than you.
Not older than you.
I was born in 1987.
Born in 1984.
She's your age, dude.
Dude, you know I wasn't born in 1984.
Man, I know you're 36 years old.
Going around and saying dead ass.
I'm not 36.
You're
scheduling your first prostate exam, and you're like, this slaps.
Are we going to do three episodes in a row of the dead ass attack on me?
I think it's in the canon right now.
I might have to because I'm the Joker, baby.
You are chaotic.
Chaos, dude.
Ha ha!
Wow, wow, that's my favorite way.
You want to know how I got these guys?
Wow.
Is that just a vine?
Is there anything more to that?
There's a whole video.
Oh, I didn't know.
In fact, the original, I think, is still online.
it's an entirety which is like man delete that i know the damage is done but like you can delete that up what does he do i've only seen that clip where he goes i'm the junker baby oh it's like the whole scene it's like from like some high school some probably like yeah a theater high school oh where they encourage the kids to be gay in every way except just holding hands with each other you know right so that's the thing man is that the nice stuff about the lgbt thing you know
you let preach you're telling fucking 12, 10, 11, 9-year-olds now, like, if you like boys, go ahead and suck their dick in the locker.
I don't know that that's the exact message.
No, they're bringing trans people into the health class, and they're saying, just go ahead and suck their balls.
Anybody wants to come up here and suck my dick?
Try it out.
Try it out.
Learn it up.
And they're doing that now.
They're doing this in the space.
That is true.
That is true.
And a lot of people are afraid of it.
But I'll tell you what.
Here's what happens.
The kids that really want to do that shit, they do that.
And they're not doing stuff like dressing up like the Joker, making a video, putting on a play.
It's not being, their gay impulses aren't being improperly sublimated
in bad art.
Yes, in some cases.
But that's what gay people have done forever.
Putting on showstoppers.
Right.
You know, they get to suck off that trans, I guess,
woman or man or whatever it happens to be's dick.
I don't think that's gay, dude.
What is?
That's straight to suck a trans woman's dick.
You're right.
You're right.
And Ian somewhere is smiling right now, hearing that.
Yeah, Ian is Kirk Van Houten.
Ian's both of Mill House's parents.
We just said we would fuck him, so we would fuck Luann, so I guess we want to fuck Ian.
What do you say, Mill House?
Will you take me back as your dad?
Hey, if you're in Europe, go see Ian actually.
He's fucking doing a European tour right now.
Really?
Yeah.
Is he out there with someone or Solo Dolo Ian, Ian headlining?
So go see him.
Don't laugh, Nick,
at the plug we're doing for our friends.
No, no, keep doing the plug.
Go see Ian in Europe.
He's in Amsterdam or something.
I don't fucking know.
Just go to his fucking website.
Just make sure he's all right.
Yeah.
And suck him off.
Oh, and I should say this, if your penis doesn't work,
we got a pill for for that.
There's an app for that.
It's called the Blue Chew app.
The Blue Chew.
I can't wait to get some Blue Chews.
I need Blue Chews for my Blue Chew Chew.
I need some Blue Chew.
My penis is blue.
What it did?
I want a Blue Chew.
My penis is blue, so I take Blue Chews.
Is this like a Baltimore?
That's how black is.
Yeah, we're speaking.
Yeah, it is.
We've really highlighted the white trash.
But now it's time for the black trash.
It sounds like Snoop Pierce.
Snoop.
Yeah, it's Snoop.
Snoop.
Yeah.
Bluepenis.com.
Bluepenis.com.
Go to that website, make an account.
Yeah, we're here for bluepenis.com.
I think I'm doing the read right.
Yeah,
yep, go to bluepenis.com
and put in your credit card information.
Put in your credit, email your credit card information to bluepenusgmail.com.
Yeah, make it.
Just write in the body of the email.
Make it the subject and the body.
Your credit card.
And the CVV.
CVV, and then put how many inches your penis.
How many pills do you want from bluepenis.com?
My penis done turned blue.
My penis, my penis was getting hard, so then it turned blue.
It turned blue on me, and I said, The fuck?
My penis die, man,
I came by here, and my penis is blue.
And they saying that the penis is supposed to be blue.
I was gonna decide what color my penis is supposed to be.
So, once again, what we're advertising is
bluepenis.com.
Specifically, the email address: Blue Penis.com.
At gmail.com.
Put in your credit card information.
Just send it over.
If your dick doesn't get hard.
If my penis isn't going to work, but I got blue penis.
You know.
No, it's like, okay, the wet.
Fine.
It's bluechew.com.
Bluechew.com.
And it's really easy to get.
Have you tried?
Have you been popping blueies, man?
I've popped some blueies, dude.
In my day.
It's exactly how you described it.
Yep.
It's like lowering the rim.
Yep.
You can dunk.
It feels painful.
It feels like you can dunk.
You have a hard dick for the first time in your life, dude?
A real hard dick.
No, it's kind of like it makes you feel like when you were first getting boners.
Like in adolescence.
You take blue chew and
my bunk bed.
Yeah, I always
sleep in my bunk bed.
And I make my beana sour.
My bonk bed.
My bunk bed.
Fuck, I still got to look up the copy for this shit.
I had too many fried pickles, and I'm struggling here.
Damn.
what other snacks do you guys have?
I went, I hit the
bee name before the movie.
I went to the hand roll kiosk.
If you like sex, you'll like bluechew.com.
Is that really?
Blue Chew offers, man, the performance enhancement for the bedroom.
Wouldn't you like to last longer and go extra rounds?
I would.
Hell no.
I'm trying to see the Joker movie.
At bluechew.com.
I'm trying to bust my fucking limp ass dick as fast as possible.
Hey, do you like sex?
Not me.
Maybe you guys.
Yeah, maybe you fucking.
Maybe one of you idiots out there likes sex, but I don't.
At bluechew.com, you can get the first chewables with the same active ingredients as Biagra and Bealis.
That's right.
Nick's a blood now.
Chewbows can
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Chewbulls can burnt faster than Bill's.
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The chewables from blueboo.com.
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Bon Salt is free, so it's beeper than the other two, Biagra and Bialis.
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That's blue blue dot bomb.
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The blue bulls from blueblue.com.
The sky blue online blue blah blocked.
And blue
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Promo code bumtown.
I'm not going to say who did it, but when I worked on, I worked on a show, there's like a comedy competition show, and at the end,
whoever lost had to read an apology that was written by the writer's room or whatever.
And that would go on prompter.
And we had a comic on that was just like illiterate.
He didn't know how to read.
He's like, he was like, ha ha,
woo, damn.
Have you heard that for your net?
He's just like struggling with everything.
That's awesome.
These net rules.
He's like, I'm so sorry that I've done.
I'm dyslexic.
Yeah.
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Take as many as you want.
Hey, listen, trick-or-treating.
Halloween's coming up.
Trick-or-treating, trick-or-treating.
Give them to children.
Give them to kids.
Sneak them in there with the razor blades and the syringes.
right
with the drugs with the fucking drug you honestly could sneak a blue chew into a packet of sweet tarts no problem dude i'm gonna tell you right now i sell drugs to children that's right and part of my job is making sure that they are hard
yep that's true i've been with him when he just got in a kid car hard yeah just at the end of a diner look to camera like i got heartburn my job is to sell drugs to children children and make sure their penises are hard.
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Shut up.
You know how to spell it.
Yeah, you guys know how to spell.
Hey, listen, man.
Anyone with a soft dick better get on this right away.
Yeah, Bluechew.com or you're fucking lame.
Or we fuck your ass.
Or
you're a loser with your medical problem.
Nice job having a medical problem, idiot.
What are you, fat as shit?
What are you, an idiot?
Because I'm not.
I don't have that problem.
I'm not either.
Oh, my God.
Damn.
Oh, man.
I shouldn't have eaten all those fried pickles.
Is that what you had for lunch?
Yeah.
I had a penis for lunch.
I had a root beer float in the theater.
It was really nice.
Whoa.
My man went old school like a child.
Yeah.
Dude, I remember.
It made me feel special.
I remember wanting a root beer float and hearing about them for years before I was allowed allowed to get one what and when i got one it was trash dude root beer floats are nuts no fuck that dude yeah because he was like six and he found a way to get the fattest shit off brussels sprouts and he's like he's like mom mama kids at school have told me about candy funny thing is i did go to preschool with a greek accent i was like hello everybody and they were like ha ha
i was i wasn't even fat back i know and then he had to eat himself and
yeah dude.
It's because of racism that I'm fat.
You're right, Nick.
Prejudice.
Yeah, that's what the Joker movie is about.
Really?
Joaquin's only thin in the beginning of the movie, and he gets much fatter as it goes on.
No, he's not.
Throughout the movie, and by the end of the movie, he's 472 pounds.
I would love a movie with a drastic weight change.
Where is that?
Raging Bull.
Yeah.
I guess.
That's a perfect example.
No, it's not because it's later in his life.
Like, much later.
No, No, he gets fat
before the fights and stuff because he stops training harder.
No, shut up.
Jake LaMotta.
Does he get that much fatter?
Yeah, he's got like a big gut and he's jiggling it around.
The Santa Claus.
There you go.
Suck my dick, dude.
The Santa Claus.
Fucking idiot.
With Tim.
Dumbass bitch.
That's rapid.
But that's
like in a month.
That's CGI, though.
That's low-key CGI.
You're right.
But low-key, though.
CGI, man.
I want a real movie set in like a three-month maximum period where the guy's got to get fat.
To get his kids back.
Or something.
I don't fucking know.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, that was that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, Jingle All the Way.
No.
I think so.
No, he doesn't.
I think that's what happened.
Jiggle all the way?
Jingle all the way.
No, he's got to get like a...
Turbo Man.
Come on, I have to jingle.
I have to do it all of the time.
That's the movie.
Really?
So he does get fatter?
Yeah.
Jungle all the way, and it's Arnold Powell.
I was thinking you were going to.
They made me do the makeup.
They said I have to rob the convenience store with the makeup on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Remember Jungle?
Jungle the son?
Jungle the Jungle?
Yeah.
I don't.
Or Tim Allen's like, do you mean to tell me I got to go to Africa to get my son's up?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Why is the son in Africa?
I don't know.
Because he loses custody to Africa.
His son.
I remember
drunk and he gets married to Africa.
He teaches his son the word obligation.
That's a pivotal moment.
Where he's like, it's an obligation in the beginning when they're friends.
Because wasn't there a movie identical to Jungle the Jungle?
Georgia the Jungle?
No.
Where Brandon Fraser keeps hurting his penis on trees?
There was a movie that was just like Jungle the Jungle.
I don't remember.
It's like the same exact plot.
But getting your players.
Like how you're doing.
She takes two in the parent trap.
You know?
Who's got the hotter mom?
I don't remember who played the mom in the parent trap.
I feel like it's a blonde bitch with short hair, but I don't know.
I can't.
It's too painful to see Lindsay so innocent.
You know, I can't watch her.
Damn, remember when Lindsay Lohan had big-ass titties?
Yeah.
Well, she probably still does.
But they were like fucking right in Mean Girls?
A little later, like right after Mean Girls.
Mean Girls is when everyone found out she had big ass titties.
That's true.
I remember in high school I used to
really lust after those breasts.
Me too.
Those gorgeous breasts.
I think she might have done an FHM or a Maxim.
Yeah.
And you better believe, my friend Christina had that at her home.
And
I don't know if I stole it and jacked off.
Or jacked off of the bathroom.
Also, those pics of her with the knives that like surfaced online.
Those don't do it for me.
I
enjoy them.
No, I enjoyed them.
I don't like that.
Why?
Because it's too dangerous.
Too dangerous.
Yeah, but she's looking hot as hell.
It's not the knives looking
for me.
Yes, it is.
You like it.
She looks deranged.
I don't like the crazy part, dude.
I just like the sexy part.
No, you like it.
You like the insanity.
All right, I'm going to pull up that picture.
You tell me she doesn't look good.
Me, I want to be treated nicely by someone with big titties.
That's honestly.
Me too, dude.
That's honestly what.
I literally said that to you the other day.
No, shut up.
First of all, motherfucker, you can't just hop on the big titty train now.
Something I've been on the big titty train.
I've been dedicated to my entire life, okay?
I lost my fucking fucking.
So don't forget to fucking fucking fuck my fucking titty there.
Yeah, because it was a random draw.
Jews just, everyone fucking pairs off and dropped it.
Everyone knows.
Yeah, that's what I trained on.
You didn't
choose that.
Of course I chose it.
No.
At 17 years old, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Don't even fucking dare, man.
Don't even fucking dare, man.
We need you to mediate, please.
I'm trying to figure out what the fuck that other movie was.
Dude, there's no way Adam likes titties.
Let's put it that way.
I love titties, not as much as I do.
Adam's attracted to women that look like him.
That's true.
That's not true at all.
You say that all the time, too.
That's not true.
That is not true.
You don't like titties as much as me, man.
You don't.
Adam's ideal sexual encounter is him and Rachel Maddow touching index fingers.
Like E.T.
And then when it touches it, like the ETH.
And they both
the idea of Trump being thrown in jail, like God and Adam and that painting.
Yes, yeah, that's cool.
Or like how Q's made on Star Trek.
Yeah, that's cool.
How Q, my favorite code.
I've been watching Stew Trek.
Store Trek.
Store Trek and Q, man.
They be, you know, going with the Q's.
What'd it do, dummy?
Turn into a different type of person.
A real shapeshifter.
That shit.
What the fuck was that other movie?
Damn.
So, what do you guys think about this whole
what's it called?
Ukraine or something?
Rick Perry did it or something?
I don't know.
I forgot Rick Perry was even in the mix.
I forgot he was in the government.
Was he Secretary of Energy?
Yeah, I think he just quit, though.
And now
they're trying to blame it up.
Did he go back to N-Word Head Ranch?
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that, too.
His family just had a ranch called
N-word in the fucking title of the ranch, dude.
And this man was like, Yeah, I'm trying to be president.
It's a historic name.
Okay, man.
Yeah, when he bought it, that was already the name.
Yeah.
You know, like it was named after a historical figure,
which is a black guy with a head.
That would be awesome.
This apartment was called Hitler Did Nothing Wrong.
Chateau du Hitler Did Nothing Wrong.
And I respect the history behind the name.
It's heritage, not hate.
As the Marquis du Hitler Did Nothing Wrong.
Now,
it wouldn't be becoming of me to change the name.
You would be spitting in the face of history, and I understand that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you could also spit into the face of my ass.
Jungle, the jungle.
You're silicone.
Yeah, because I swear to God, there was another movie that was like...
I don't think there was, bro.
Well, there was.
It was a movie called Little Indian Big City.
That
was on the cover.
That's what it was.
There's Little Indian Big City dubbed, yeah.
So, yeah,
I was right.
It was just I didn't think it was.
It was a French movie.
No, you're making this shit up.
No, Little Indian Big City.
How did you even see that?
I don't know.
I mean, I would pay attention to cinema.
You were a cinephile?
A movie buck?
No, you were a weapons file.
Yeah.
You were looking up grenades and shit, dude.
It was one of France's most popular movies.
What about that movie where Chevy Chase and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and he's his stepdad, and they have to go do some
cultural appropriation?
That's jungle to jungle.
No, it's not.
It's Tim Allen and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and that figure.
Oh, Chevy Chase?
Chevy Chase.
That's the man of the house?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a different movie.
The Man of the the house.
Listen to this.
This is the bad from the French movie.
Thierry Le Mit.
That's his gay-ass French name.
Look at this.
That's just a regular L'Armit.
No.
T-H-I-E-R-R-Y.
Yeah, Thierry Henri, dude.
Yeah.
Best soccer players ever.
L-H-E-R-M-I-T.
His last name is stupid.
L'Er-Mit.
L'Armeat.
Sounds like it.
L'Oremeat.
Laurel Meat.
Sounds like a Baltimore guy saying Little Meat.
Laurel Meat.
1984.
Laure Meat.
Has been.
Adam Loremeat.
Let's see if I can find a trailer.
He's got some Laurel Meat, yo.
Yo, Adam's got some Laurel Meat, yeah.
Little
meat, yo.
Big city
dub.
What are you trying to say?
This is the same plot as Jungle to Jungle?
It's the same plot as Jungle to Jungle.
Wow.
I mean, we could do this, or you could continue denying the fact
that you are lying about wanting breaths.
Thank you.
I want breath yourself to where
you have to be.
That is an absolutely uncalled for, salacious accusation.
I got something very succlacious for you, pal.
Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
It sounds like a kid from Milwaukee screaming.
Now, I've never seen a tribes person with huge tits.
Have you?
Yeah, dude.
National Geographic.
Like Amazon.
I mean, like,
curvy.
They got big-ass titties down there.
Not like that.
Not the people in the Amazon.
I went on a sex tour of the Amazon.
Really?
Sexual tourists?
Was it good?
Did they have good pussy out there?
Yeah.
Yeah, this is the same movie.
I've never seen that in my life, dude.
Where the fuck did you find that?
Has anyone ever heard of that movie?
Adam, have you?
Well, I used to like
when I was a kid, I thought they always made two versions of every movie, but that was like there was often a thing where, you know, I mean, you know, somebody, a script would be popular, somebody would buy it, then somebody would buy a similar script.
You know, so you get like deep impact and
Volcano, Dante's P.
Yeah.
But, so, yeah, I mean, I paid attention.
I don't know.
Yeah, I just was somehow aware.
I'm like, oh, yeah, that's what happened there.
I didn't realize it was a remake, but it was so.
So, where'd you get movies from?
Blockbuster?
Yeah.
The library?
Blockbuster.
The library, oftentimes.
Do you ever get movies from the library?
I don't remember going to the library ever.
Really?
No, my parents would make me go.
I used to fuck.
I used to fucking go.
I used to have to do the summer reading program.
No, I never
played Commerce in San Diego.
I never did.
It made my parents hate.
It made me hate reading because my parents made me like, you got to read 30 books this time.
The irony is, I used to love reading as a child.
I hate it now.
Did you actually love reading?
You just think you remember loving reading?
No, dude, I used to fucking love going to the library for real.
Because I remember reading, but I would read Superfudge and shit.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Judy Blueberry?
I read all that shit.
I read all that shit, but did you get those books from the school library?
No, I would get them from the regular library.
I get them from the kids' library.
They would just, yeah,
you would read Goosebumps.
You would read fucking the wacky, whatever the fuck, that school.
Oh, that school that's upside down?
Yeah, dude.
That school sucks, dude.
They should have fixed it.
Yeah.
Now, I remember The Simpsons.
Yeah.
I've been re-watching The Simpsons.
I haven't done that in a while.
It's great.
It's such a good show.
I want to re-watch The Sopranos.
The fucking Venus De Milo episode.
That's a great one.
Uh-huh.
Damn, that's Homer getting canceled.
That's Homer getting canceled 100%.
And then the fucking, fucking, they bring like, oh, they have like four women on the show to talk about Homer Simpson.
And
the female host of the show is like,
she's like, and you had an encounter with Mr.
Simpson?
The woman's just crying.
She's like,
I'm sorry, I can't say anything.
She's like, that's okay.
Your tears are better than any real evidence ever.
That is problematic, though.
Oh, yeah, no chance.
Right now, they're fucking, they're talking, they're drawing Trump for some reason.
Like, I feel like Trump is a character in The Simpsons now.
Really?
I feel like he's in every fucking show.
I've seen him in every commercial.
I mean, that show is so fucking bad now.
It hasn't been good in forever.
Similar to SNL.
They did have a pretty funny sketch I saw online that was like newscasters.
White versus black newscasters being like
mad at each other or like competing over which race did a crime.
Yeah, that was actually pretty cool.
On this season, yeah, just now.
It was kind of funny, actually.
Dude, I haven't seen either of the first two episodes.
I just saw that clip online.
Where are we at right now?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, don't fucking worry about it.
Why don't you mind your own fucking business for a change?
All right, all right, all right.
Stop trying to pretend that you love titties, dude.
Wait, how long do you have to live in New York before you can just start talking like this all the fucking time?
I think that's why I started saying dead ass.
Yeah, but it would be funnier to just do this and stuff.
I mean, it is equally as absurd.
If I just showed up and I was like, wow, what are you talking about?
What are you saying?
No, I've been saying deadass for years.
I was saying deadass like that.
Oh, sure.
Well, I'm a New Yorker.
It's me, New Yorker Adam Friedland.
Yeah, they took dead ass from the Italians.
They don't talk about.
Yeah, it's them pronouncing an Italian word that's like Dia de Sandrio Landia.
Deadash.
That's it.
My favorite is Calamari.
They say Galama.
Galama.
So, what the fuck are you idiots talking about?
It's a southern Italian accent.
You mush-mouth fucking date.
No, they just don't know how to say their own language.
Oh, no, I thought it's
Napolitano or something.
Yeah.
Is that what your boyfriend told me?
Slam dunk.
Slam dunked on your ass.
It wasn't a slam dunk.
Slam dunked.
Rat.
Fucking kill shot
boom
oh my god
got him in the sights got a bead on him fire on his ass
got you
that guy that drew that comic I showed you but the
dad wanted to buy the oh the hat yeah yeah
he's finding it he's just sent me a video the other day let me see if I can pull it up there it's
who's this guy just some guy sending you
some guy from online.
Yeah.
Personal racist.
Yeah, kind of.
Cartoons.
Just for you, Nick.
Customs.
Custom racist cartoons.
No, he's like,
he sent the video, and then all he said was back on my bullshit.
Because he's just sitting around drunk, searching for these things.
The video is old man gets kicked downstairs
by someone's grandma only in Chicago.
I mean, it's sad, but it's also the way this guy falls is so funny.
They truly kicked this man off the fucking balcony.
His shit bounced off the sidewalk, dude.
Damn.
Anybody bother you?
He's old as shit.
What was he trying to do?
Talking to somebody's grandma.
Holy shit.
I just love you.
You hear the grandma go, God is ass.
He was sex harassing an old woman?
I know.
I guess he slapped somebody's grandma.
Oh, okay.
You got to kick that guy.
Yeah, yeah.
You got to kick him to the chest.
Got his ass.
Got his ass.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Damn, bro.
Yeah, you should have seen Joker, man.
Damn, I should have.
Who's great?
I should go to the movies more often.
I guess that's the other thing, too, is I haven't seen anything in theaters since,
Jesus.
I guess probably.
Really?
Yeah, what was the last thing I saw in theaters, bro?
You didn't see the tenants?
Probably Tomorrow Never Dies.
Shut the fuck up.
What's the last thing I saw in theaters?
I'm going to say.
Shit, probably the Sixth Man.
The Replacement, starring Keanu Reeves.
Yeah,
Chain Reaction.
That's the last thing I saw in theaters.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, it's nice going to the movies, dude.
I've been getting really into popping my own popcorn now.
Oh, yeah.
Before you leave the house and then smuggling it in a backpack?
In my ass.
That's what my friend's Jewish mother used to do before she'd drop us off at the movies.
She'd give us popped popcorn.
Is that why they did that?
It's an ingenious move.
Popcorn's the hardest thing to smuggle because it's such high volume.
You put it in your backpack.
Just bring your own microwave.
Brought our own microwave.
You're like, can I plug my phone in?
Dude, I miss that shit.
His mom would drop us off at the movies for the 11 a.m.
It's my phone.
And we'd see like three movies and we got picked up at like six.
It's a replacement phone from the store because mine's being repaired.
Let me plug my phone in.
It's got numbers on it, doesn't it?
Oh, cheese.
Hello, police.
Yes, there is a black man not letting me plug my phone in at the movie theater.
Oh, yeah, he looks armed.
He said he has armed.
All right, man, you're not talking to anybody, so just please leave your microwave out here.
And then just opening and shutting the door, being like, this is the police.
This is the police speaker.
And talking like it's a mouth.
Oh, this is the police figure.
Like a puppet.
Using the microwave as a puppet.
They're dragging you out.
Your pants are falling down.
All the popcorn's coming out of your ass.
All the popcorn kernels falling out of your ass.
You're like, oh, unhair this man.
This is the police speaker.
I'm not going to tell you black motherfuckers again.
It's the actual police dragging you away.
Oh, this is the boss of the police.
This is your boss off the phone.
This is Commissioner Gordon.
This is Commissioner Gordon.
Let that arrest the black eye instead.
Just some fucking idiot.
Yeah.
That'd be awesome, dude.
All right.
That's it.
That's the show.
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
You got to get to the post office.
Listen, if you are in fucking Medford, New Jersey, come see me this Friday.
If you are in Detroit or Kalamazoo, 19th and 20th of October.
And then Lafayette, Louisiana, New Orleans, Louisiana, the 8th and the 9th of November.
Okay, bros.
Well.
We got Funny Moms coming up the 14th and then the next whatever.
And I might be doing a longer set because I have to run my half hour.
All right.
That's a you have that to look forward to.
And also Fat Tuesdays.
Fight.
And then my dick, also.
You get to suck that.
I think Wilson's going to be used.
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