Ep. 168 – Scumbag Vinny
Scumbag Vinny returns for his redemption arc
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Transcript
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Hello, everyone.
Welcome to Come Town.
We're hot off the fake death of Jeffrey Epstein.
He committed suicide, Adam.
You think he committed suicide?
Of course.
I don't.
Everyone knows.
But I know everyone wants to hear our takes on Epstein, but something more important happens.
We had to bring somebody in, a friend of the show,
who, you know, I mean, maybe some of not really your downfall, but definitely the downfall of Bam Margera
was at least produced by you, I guess you could say.
Was it produced by you?
Executive producer.
Executive producer of Bam Margera.
Like Rick Rubin.
Oh,
what does a producer usually do?
It usually makes a mess of things, like gets it to happen, right?
They just bring things together to make it happen.
Yeah, that would be your job.
I always thought that was my title with him in that regard.
But he produces his own mess himself.
I just kind of got involved.
We brought Vinny in because he had actually, right prior to the suicide, had booked Jeffrey Epstein for a mid-Atlantic tour.
He was going to do yawns.
He was going to do stories.
He was going to go on stage.
He was going to be like an hour
of him signing.
Well, I named drop Adam when I met him.
Yeah, he was really good.
He was
sponsored by
a grip tape company that makes grip tape out of weed.
And they were,
it's called Weed Grips.
And they were doing the Jeffrey Epstein Too Crazy to Die.
Yeah, I mean, we were booked solid through every town in Connecticut that doesn't have a college.
I got a fallback with Bagel Boss, though.
Have you contacted him?
Bagel Boss?
Yeah.
You could get your stuff together.
Yeah, I mean,
I want to see what his.
He's got a boxing match coming up at Atlantic City, so I kind of want to see if it's just him, a guy, or 12 other people there.
Is he fighting?
Were you pulling a dead tape?
He's fighting Lenny Dykstra, the message.
Was I pulling it?
No, I was.
They announced it on AMZ today, I think.
It's picking up like static.
But I only even met them because
the day Bam went to Dr.
Phil, he signed a contract.
It took $2,500 from some boxing promoter to be like the referee.
And he didn't tell anybody.
And then it just came out on TMZ the same time.
He was like, I'm going to rehab.
So it was like the guy ended up wanting his money back.
And then, of course, everybody comes to me for that.
So I ended up talking to him like that.
And then I said, oh, you managed Bagel Boss.
Nice.
Let's put something together.
Let's
bagel boss is doing the Too Crazy to Die.
He's telling all of Jeffrey Epstein's stories.
We just got the shirts made up already.
The thing is, Epstein's stories are in the contract, not the man himself.
That's right.
We've got Bagel Boss going around.
I have my own island.
I can do whatever I want on it.
I don't care.
It's a dating profile.
I don't have to put in my dating profile that I'm looking for children.
Yeah.
He's a pint-sized cutie.
That is true.
I wonder if he would be rejected by kids the same way he was rejected by adult women.
Probably.
Well, he must be getting so much pussy now that he's famous.
You know what's funny?
That's probably.
He literally is.
There's a picture of him and like a picture of it.
People are like, God, what a loser.
And then, like, a sneaker company gave him a hat, and they were like, what's his name?
We've seen him wearing like foo boo and like uh jean shorts, like jorts.
Uh,
but they must just be children's pants because there's like long shorts on him,
but he's pretty small.
I feel like that's going to be the next thing that there's like 200 articles about my name on Reddit about about is that last comment that I just made right there.
I had no idea.
No, don't be so
self-conscious.
I thought it you're not.
You're already giving them too much credit by referring to their shitty posts as articles.
Yeah.
As if these people are journalists.
They are
barely functioning autistic children.
They make their way out there, man.
I've run into a few people in person.
I don't know how, but it's happened.
Yeah.
That are
everywhere.
They're fans of the show, you know.
I also put my phone number out there, kind of inviting it in.
You put your phone number out there?
Yeah, I did, right when the bam stuff was happening, just because I was kind of excited to get any kind of clout at all, even if it was them saying I was like a murderer or a child rapist or something.
So, you thought you were going to get clout by giving your posting your number off?
Yeah, I got like 15,000 calls.
Well, that's clout.
That sounds like clout.
That's fucking awesome.
You got 15,000 phone calls.
I have my phone, Bill, man.
Like, not on me, but I could show you, yeah, for sure.
I don't know.
Some of them might have been the same person, person.
You know, I'm a parlay 15,000.
I still have the same exact phone number, too.
So, I will get calls after this.
Yeah, so Vin, everyone's wondering, what do you think about the Jeffrey Epstein situation right now?
Um, I mean, I was always more of like a Jerry Sandusky guy myself when it came to following it in the media, pedophiles, yeah.
Just like following, you know, I didn't really follow, I didn't know this guy when it happened.
You remember?
I just heard he died, and then I kind of got into it.
Do you believe he died?
Did he committed suicide?
I think that
it depends man i think uh in jail they go for those targets a lot so you'll probably have a better chance game he would have been a cool character on oz jeffrey i've seen yeah he's in the emerald city uh-huh and like you know he's like maybe got some kind of alliance with napa wait the wizard
no oz the show they have an emerald city in that yeah that's why it's called oz that's why it's called oz
that's that's why the name of the show the wing of the prison is called emerald city it's like an experimental prison,
which I can't even remember what the experiment is.
As far as I can tell, it's the same as the rest of the prison, except there's like one of every type of personality and race.
But people are saying that he got killed because he might have known other people that were involved in that kind of shit.
That is conspiracy as yet.
Yeah.
Which I could see.
Do you think that's what happened?
I mean,
the only celebrities I've ever met in my life have been so f fucked up beyond belief that I don't really know what.
Yeah, but see, you know, like, here's the thing.
Here's how you know a guy like Bam is safe.
If you strike out in life, right, you make millions and millions of dollars.
If your goal is anything other than like buy the biggest house in whatever shitty town you're from, then you rape children.
If you're going pedophile, if you want an island, that's suspicious.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So because Bam's out in the open
anybody in his house, he's safe.
No, not because he's out in the open, but because he doesn't aspire to anything more than like
having every color Jeddah and then a hot tub filled with piss.
You know, I still don't understand.
Did the hot tub full of piss ever happen?
Yeah, we like everybody peed in it for like three weeks, but the party didn't.
We didn't have enough pee to fill up the hot tub.
So the day of the party, one of my duties was to get yellow food dyed and fill it up with water.
I didn't know that.
Even the top was full of pea.
That's how shitty this party was.
You couldn't even get real people.
It was a lot.
Holy fucking shit.
That wasn't even on our mind.
After a while,
we said, how are we going to get it out of the woods?
First of all, this thing was in the woods.
Scumbag Vinny is like a real-life version of Gil from The Simpsons.
Scumbag Vinny is real.
I don't like to think it was done on purpose, but it is just who I am.
Yeah, it's in your day.
Have you ever been to jail?
Not been to jail.
I am in a big case right now now that I'm currently like this close to
a big case.
Yeah, like I was arrested like a year and a half ago.
Oh, hell yeah.
And they didn't take you to jail?
My bond was like $350,000.
What?
So you killed someone?
No, it was just weed-related.
Oh, just weed?
In Connecticut, weeds, it's like still very illegal.
But no, you know, they do that because now it's about to be legal soon.
So they're trying to get.
Yeah, he said they were like,
how was it weed-related?
You're like, yeah, I was smoking weed while looking at childhood.
yeah well
i was on annibal just fingering a small boy
i got too high and raped a toddler
350 000
nah but i only ended up getting community service so no it must have not been that bad what was your what did you do for community service um I just did a comedy show that was for a fundraiser and helped with that.
That's a beautiful round.
That was the easiest thing I thought I could relate to to help you.
And they let you do that?
Yeah.
Well, the late, I did, to, you know, and where did the money for the fundraiser go?
To the organization that did it.
I didn't, I made sure they, it was in the midst of the ongoing BAM situation that I had to do it, so I had to make sure I wasn't in charge of the funds, you know.
Nice.
Everybody thought I was going to go to Disney with that, too.
So
you like Disney?
Yeah.
I got a little kid.
Oh, you have a child?
Yeah.
Oh, congrats, dude.
Thanks.
How old?
Seven.
And he likes Disney?
She, yeah.
She.
Yeah.
Well, I mean,
he wanted to just get away after dealing with.
Dude, I was dealing with Bam for like two months straight every day.
I just wanted to get away from like entertainment and trying to be involved in any of that kind of shit at all.
But he was in rehab, but when he got out, he had just heard about
all the shit that had gone on since he had been in rehab and thought I was in Disney at that moment.
When I posted a picture of the Mickey Mouse hat, that was just to antagonize him.
I had gone to Disney back in April when he canceled the New York City show after the first come down thing.
Oh, I was like, oh, so that was marketing on your behalf.
Yeah.
Keeping your name in the head.
I always try to feed into everything, even if it's good or bad.
I feel like when it first happened and I was on the show, that's the way to do it.
Yeah, I thought it all presses good.
I thought like at first I was like, oh, well, Gene did so well.
They're obviously there to hear Bam.
When I got voted the worst guest ever on YouTube, I said, there's something to this, man.
And then I had to stop being who I was pretending to be.
Of course.
I just had to be myself, which was like fucking masked.
I took off the thrasher fitter and put on the Disney little thing.
That is who I was.
To become the real me.
Going back to the old me.
But that's the truth, man.
But I swear to God, after the first day, the first day it happened, and all this people were hitting me up.
And all these articles came out about me saying somebody said I killed him.
All these articles came out about me.
No, somebody was making fake articles.
One of them was that I killed him.
It was like from News 45 or something.
It was like a fake article.
Killed me.
That I killed you.
Yes, there is one out there that I did that.
Did you buy that?
That I murdered you.
That's awesome.
I'm going to get in here.
I just read in News 45 that Vinnie killed Adam.
But then in the midst of it, there was another article that said I scammed a bunch of people, but that one was halfway true.
So
I was like, wow, at least that's getting mixed up.
Was that a real article?
Or was that a photo?
That was another fake article.
Yeah, a Photoshop article.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I don't know who does it.
I mean, you guys are a fucking idiot if the retards following you guys.
It's text.
It's a Photoshop article.
Yeah, you can't copy it.
You gotta paste it.
That's how you write a fake article.
You open up Photoshop.
Wow.
I can't believe the media bought it.
They did, dude.
Wow.
They said, and everybody was telling me that you're single now, too.
You're a single man.
Yes.
No, it's not true.
Everybody's saying that.
Everybody is saying that.
There's a new man in my life.
His name's Jesus Christ.
News 45.
Adam Friedland back from the dead and divorce.
I have about 100 messages in my inbox.
I only have about 120 messages.
And 100 of them are: Vinny, Adam broke up with Dasha.
Fucking destroy him.
That is the same message.
Yeah, that's clearly.
This is your chance now.
Let's go.
Vinny, here's your chance.
What do you got your phone up for?
You got roast jokes?
I I am one of the biggest losers on the internet.
It's not hard to fuck with me.
No, he's not.
No, I wasn't looking at roast jokes.
He saw your roast jokes, dude.
He saw my roast jokes.
He saw your hands jokes joking.
Adam, Adam.
He closed your roast jokes.
Secret file.
Viddy Beetle roast jokes.
I've been working on these for feverishly around the clock.
It's what I'd like to think, anyway.
No, I think that if you did bring up that I broke up with my girlfriend, that would really destroy me.
Yeah, but you did it in a way that now is not going to be as effective.
Yeah, you really showed
that.
You showed your hand.
I showed my hand at that point.
You should have been like, oh, I heard you broke up with your girl.
Wow.
Or just kind of threw it out there.
Yeah.
Yeah, you should have been like, what are you doing on your phone?
Looking at old messages from your girlfriend that left you.
That would have been good.
That would have been good.
That's pretty hurtful.
You should have actually asked, oh, I'm just asking you.
I could have written for you for the summer.
You could have gone into your roast jokes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Do you think he's alive?
Who?
Jeff Epp.
I went to his fucking.
It doesn't matter.
I mean, there's like so much that's just out in the open that's right there, and still people are like, ah, he's clearly an intelligence asset.
And here's the fucking former prime minister of Israel
going to
an apartment building that Jeffrey Epstein owns with mod.
It's like all just like,
all just out in the open.
And all these connections are all out in the open.
And the fact, like Acosta's saying, he's a, I I was told he was an intelligence asset.
It's all out, like, just fucking right out in the open.
Yes.
And all you can do is be like,
come on.
You know, it's like,
and then.
But doesn't Barr say he's going to investigate?
Yeah, but it's like, you're not going to really get answers.
I don't, like, I really don't think we are.
I don't think we are.
No.
Any fucking answer.
What if he just shows up at the Area 51 raid?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Leading like a new energy skinner.
And he says, take me to your dealer, dude.
I'm just saying, that would sell tickets.
Maybe Bam shows up and they do a little bit more.
There we go, get him.
Reunion tour, fun film.
Hey, Jeff, I got an idea for a tour.
Bagel boss.
Fucking.
Bagel boss.
Bam and Novat.
Artie Lane from jail, like a TV screen of Artie.
Artie with a prosthetic nose.
Uh-huh.
We got the same guys that made Bam's ramp at his house fixed Artie's nose.
Yeah, we're working with E.
Jean Carroll.
She's the woman that was raped by Trump, Trump, and we're going to
do a tour of all the checkers in South Florida.
Some of them are rallies, so we couldn't get into those, but the two or three of them are checkers.
Yeah, and
exclusively,
we're doing a meet-and-greet sponsored by John's weed company.
By weed.
Weed band-aids.
It's band-aids, but they're made out of fucking weed.
Yeah, she talks about getting raped by Trump, but in a funny way.
But she does, yeah.
She comes out with a comedy tour.
She's wearing a bunch of pewter rings, and she comes out.
C-K-Y.
Yeah.
She sings the skeletor.
She then sings the whole skeleton.
You know what, though?
A lot of people think of the fantasies.
And they think about, they think it's sexy to be raped.
As bad as that all was.
Okay, we're going to take a break.
As bad as that all was with Bam when it was happening,
that was not like i used to sell i used to go to concerts when i was a teenager and i would sell fake tickets to events so it went
that was like it's such an important part of my background to understand oh yeah it's like like but it's funny because like we've been texting in private and like I've made it clear I have no problem that you scammed numerous people.
No, I think that's cool.
I don't look.
If somebody's trying to get into comedy and somebody rips them off so bad that they have to quit comedy,
you've done them a favor.
You saved them.
You saved them.
Here's the thing.
You get burned once bad in the beginning and you get out rather than how maybe he lost three grand investing
in a show he thought that was going to, oh, this guy, Vinny, the scumbag, says if I pay him $2,000, it's an investment in an open mic.
And then I'll get back $10,000
when he loses that two grand.
When he loses that two grand, think about the hundreds of thousands of dollars he'll have lost if he turns 37 and he's like, oh, I'm whoops.
I've been doing bar shows.
I have eight minutes.
That's okay.
Oh, oopsie daisy.
I'm 39 years old and I'm a defensive driving instructor.
The first show I did with Artie that I produced, I knew he would always come late from being all fucked up.
So I would put on like six or seven of those comics on like a pre-show.
And then 20, 30 minutes would go by, and then Artie would show up.
They could say they worked with Artie.
But one time, Artie came like an hour beforehand.
And there was like eight comics on the show, and they all sucked.
And he got on stage and he was like, Vinny, he goes, Did you just stop at a red light and say, Hey, you want to open for Artie Lang tonight?
Can you bring five people or whatever?
And uh, you're like, No, I charged them all.
I took this guy's
epilepsy medicine because he didn't have enough cash.
Yeah,
Artie was expensive.
I demanded this guy's heart medicine that he needed as payment,
and then I sold it to a couple diabetics, I sold it to someone someone else's OxyCon.
Yeah, but it's like in private, you're like, none of those stories about me are true.
I've been lied about.
I've never ripped off anybody.
And then you do the show, and you're like, I used to
go to concerts and put an under-construction sign on the wheelchair ramp to collect extra ticket money from handicapped people.
We are not far off from that.
It's like, I know I listen to the show, you make up a lot of shit, but when you describe me, you tend to be spot on.
You're a hero, man.
Dude, okay, you must have gotten your ass kicked a couple times.
Look at my nose.
You got your shit.
What fucked up?
I've gotten into a lot of fights.
I've knocked a few people out.
I've gotten beat up.
I've gotten in my shit.
That's not what he asked for.
I've never gotten my ass kicked.
That wasn't the question.
For anything money-related in comedy, I actually, there's a video of me fighting a comedian and kicking his ass.
Nice.
Over that situation.
And And we're selling the video.
And we sell the video.
If you buy the video, you get a t-shirt, but you got to mail in a video of you watching the video to P.O.
Box386.
That's true, guys.
We do have Do You Watch Big Mouth t-shirts at the VinnieBeetleshow.com.
Yeah,
Meatball Marinera Productions.
Palisades, New Jersey.
What is Vinnie Beatles show?
You have a podcast now?
I figured, I never really did a podcast, but I figured just coming up.
Off the strength of your appearance on Archo.
I felt like
these people will want to listen and hate me.
One of them might kill me when I'm 50 or something.
It's not going to kill you.
I'm going to go for it, you know.
And I figured, look,
working with Bagel Boss is so fun.
The only time I would fail.
Because it's going to be like, you're going to be, whenever the first event happens, people are going to be like, who's Bagel Boss?
You're like, remember that viral video from six months ago?
They're like, no, of course not.
Yeah, the guy's like, Vinny, should we do this tomorrow?
Dude, we got the damn Daniels.
We got the damn Daniel kid.
He's 26 years old now.
Well, I'm hoping to get him.
Unfortunately,
Ellen owns the rights to the words damn Daniel.
So we're booking him as Steve Vasquez, and we're not allowed to use the words Daniel.
Steve Vasquez from Danny Dasquez.
Steve Vasquez, as you may remember, from the Ellen DeGeneres show
10 years ago.
It's just a fucking day labor in white vans.
Yeah, and we've got Egene Carroll opening.
And I'll tell you, I'm just EGE Carroll on a stool with fucking skateboarding videos playing in the background.
And he pushed me into the dressing room.
And he's got, and he pulled my panties down, and it was painful, but it was more of a fight.
I don't want to say it was rape because it's not, I don't want to say I'm a victim.
But but yes, what's your question?
No, I've never, I've never met the guys from Blink 182.
I don't know, I don't know them.
Sorry, anyway, so I'm being raped in the
dressing room of the fucking Bergdorf.
Where was it?
It was that Bergdorf Goodman's
Bloomingdale's or something.
Yeah,
one of those bees.
Yep, that's going to be awesome, dude.
That's going to be awesome, Tor.
So, this fight that you had with that guy, what's your fighting style, would you say?
Are you one of those
guys who's like,
when I get mad, I just go?
You say stuff like that?
Like,
I just see red, and I just go.
Usually, I have to get hit or something to really fight.
I'm not going to go attack anybody.
Right.
So, I think at that point, I
fixed the cuffs, yeah.
I'm not really like a wrestler.
I'm fine.
I look like a muffin, so I'm kind of top-heavy.
So, if you take me down,
you pretty much win.
You got to stay on the
butterbean somebody somebody before it gets to you.
Any training?
No.
No?
My friends, when I grew up, a lot of Italian people where I grew up in Connecticut, and like we all fought each other.
Right.
So I had bigger friends than me.
And I fought all my best friends before I was 15.
So fighting somebody else wasn't really a big deal.
Right.
When you fight your friends and get over it.
In the guinea fighting pitch, you came up like fucking Bane, dude.
Is Beetle an Italian name?
No.
I just found out recently, like,
German, right?
I'm black.
No, I'm not.
But, like.
Yeah, it's a famous black name Beetle.
Everybody assumes I'm 100% Italian because they hear my cousin Vinny.
But Beetle, I don't know what the fuck it is, dude.
I just know that, you know, I don't even know my dad's family, really.
So
I just know it's my name.
I'm pretty sure it's German.
You think so?
It's probably one of those Elvis Island deals.
Could be.
It's probably like B-I-E-D.
I've never met a German Vinny, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but the name changed.
Take my word for it.
I'm racist.
I'm good at this.
No, but I felt like it's a name that kind of you remember, you know.
Bam, even at his most fucked up, would remember my name, he would paint it on a bunch of things all the time.
Yes.
So, you know.
If you're white.
I just knew that that was good.
If you're white and you're American and you don't know what your name is, it's a good chance it's either English or German.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm a mutt.
My mom did that 23 and me thing and I'm all this kind of shit and it it said 2%
other.
And that's why I say I'm black because
I started in the urban comedy world.
That's how I did a lot of my comedy when I was coming up.
It's called Black Rooms.
You worked blue?
No, not really about, like, I'd make fun of myself, but I'm not blue.
I wouldn't think I'm blue.
You worked black?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where I would do like the token white guy.
Like.
Then word on stage?
No.
None of that?
No.
But I would say everything else.
You know.
Yeah.
And
real shock value.
I'd walk in and talk about getting black.
Listen, y'all, I'm not going to say the N-word, but spic, chink,
Godhead.
Oh, we're going all in.
Everything else.
Everything else.
I did a Trayvon Martin joke.
Black people.
Black people cheering at the top of their lungs for every other racial slur.
I did a Trayvon Martin joke one time and I left early because I didn't do well.
And there was like
400 black people.
I'm the only white.
There's one other white comic on the show.
You also kind of look like George Zoom.
And after the show, there's another fat white comic on the show.
George Zimmerman is like, I think Zimmerman's a black name.
And a bunch of black dudes went up to the other comic and were like, Are you the fucking guy that said the Trayvon joke?
And the guy was scared shitless.
He's like, No, he left.
Wait, wait, wait.
So you got away with this because black people couldn't tell the difference between me and the other fat.
Between two white people.
Yeah.
So I got to say, well, let's hear the joke.
Can we hear the joke?
They're like the fucking dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
Sadly, even though you wouldn't think watching my YouTube videos, I've been doing it for 10 years.
So this had to be six or seven years ago.
And I don't know, man.
Sometimes I just wish you were
like talking.
Oh, well, you know, like, I would say something about a cop shooting a black kid in New Haven.
And
it would just pop.
Just doing like wrestling promos kind of on these black comedy shows.
And it would kind of, I don't know.
It will.
So, well enough for me to do that.
And you would be pro-officer in that regard.
Yeah, no.
No.
No.
No.
I do a lot of gigs too where I do like stag parties where I'm going to jump in the middle.
What was the Trayvon joke?
What was the Trayvon joke?
He doesn't know.
Try and remember what was the sentiment
of the joke?
It was definitely about me saying it was good that he died.
Not that George Zimmerman didn't break the law.
It's good that Drayvon Martin died.
Not that he was standing inside.
I thought you could do it like the man doesn't remember.
I'm feeling like you had to cover up.
You're saying
beyond even the point that George Zimmerman was making.
Yeah, I worked like four jokes on the way here.
I smoke weed a lot, man, and I forgot them.
I don't know, man.
I'm better when I'm just off the cuff and I never remember that shit.
Your girlfriend can come in the apartment.
She doesn't know what to do.
She's probably
fucking left me here, honestly.
So I don't know.
We'll find that out.
I mean, it's hot out.
She doesn't have to sit in the car.
We got a new car.
It's got AC.
All right.
Find a car.
Subaru.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
I'm on a Subaru.
Bam money, you know?
You're like, I didn't rip anything.
Collecting all skate wheels.
I went to Disney World, and I got a fucking WRX.
We did four shows.
I'd never done any big shows in my life.
We did four shows.
Every time we did a show, 400 fucking people showed up and we charged $50.
So the four shows I did with him, I made some money, you know.
He's so stupid.
The money they thought was missing, he has an account for it, and he found, you know, he just was hiding it from his dad.
His dad runs all of his money, all of his real money that he has.
That's why he's broke.
So he opened up a bank account for the party, and I knew about the bank account.
But once he went to rehab, Steve-O started hitting me up to cancel the comedy tour, and I was just like, dude, fuck it.
And then I went away for a bit, and that's when everybody's like, where's my refund?
Where's my refund?
And Bam, just.
You said hit up Vinny.
He did.
Did you ever
give it to Steve-O and be like, Steve-O, you ever think about doing a tour are you worried about like a massive class action lawsuit and being sued for
bam margero fans what do you mean it would have happened by now well i have the i mean wouldn't you think that i'm clears to build
if you if you charge hundreds of people yeah but any kind of investigation like that would they would uncover that the money went to him right if the bank account was under brand and margero or whatever
you would still be named in the lawsuit yeah probably so yes i am worried about it i think about it every night no dude no they're not gonna do that they're not gonna bam says they'll get over it that's what he says to to me.
He thinks we're going to be a stronger duo now.
Oh, really?
These guys are back together.
Oh, dude, we've been texting the whole time.
He's a reality star, man.
I'm trying to explain that.
He knows it fucks up my real life, and he's really addicted to alcohol and shit.
But he writes this shit every day.
Like, the original thing was I was going to.
We talked a while ago about me pretending to be Dr.
Phil and doing like an intervention.
And then, and then he's like, I love Dr.
Phil.
I'm going to get Dr.
Phil.
And then he started telling his fans to ask for Dr.
Phil, and it just happened.
Did he go on Dr.
Phil?
From what I believe, yeah, he was texting me up until he walked on stage.
Oh, wow.
And then he disappeared up until today, but he started posting once I told him I was coming on.
I just watched Dr.
Phil on Rogan.
I have, like, I just now, in the last couple of weeks, have gotten into Rogan.
Well, I heard the Bernie one.
I've never really gotten into it.
I never really got into it.
The Bernie one did numbers.
I watched that one.
Well, it's so easy to watch YouTube on my TV, which I had never done in
recently.
Because I'm not going to sit at my computer.
And if you're working folding shirts, you got Rogan for hours and hours and hours.
I mean, I don't need to, yeah.
I mean, like, I can't imagine sitting at my computer and focusing on Joe Rogan talking.
No, that's background.
Because, like, I feel like most Rogans, he's like, he's like, so, what's up?
What's your deal?
And he's like, well, I run a tech startup that uses satellites to measure black people's skulls.
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
Did you know the black people actually have an extra chemical in their brain that's released when they die?
Oh, my God.
I listen to Kill Tony sometimes.
That's half the guests on Rogan.
I've never heard that one.
Kill Tony?
No, I haven't.
That's like mostly stand-up, though, isn't it?
It's like they make fun of Open Micros.
They bring on guests and they make fun of Open Micers.
It's where I get most of my talent from
$2,000 open micro.
What I've seen of all those guys are all funny.
Yeah, no, they're.
The guys on Kill Tony?
Well,
I've seen Hinchcliffe at shows, and he's always been funny.
Yeah.
And Jeremiah's funny, but I've never went and seen him at the casino, and we hung out and smoked a little after, but I just mentioned because he's like tight with Joe Rogan.
Like, don't they all listen to each other's podcasts or like promote each other's podcasts?
I don't think they listen to each other's podcast.
Yeah, Joe Rogan doesn't listen to like everybody.
Joe Rogan's like, listen, Bernie, I hate to wrap this up, but I got to get home and listen to Kill Turner.
Well, he goes on it because they bring on guests.
He does do that.
He does do that.
Are you guys just.
I figured everybody who has a big podcast actually looks into
because I don't have anything.
No one listens to anyone else's podcast.
Yeah, I haven't.
That doorknob just turned.
Yeah.
Okay.
That'll happen.
People come and go.
Okay.
Yeah, this is a flop house.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
This is an Airbnb.
Really?
That's why it's fucked up.
Yep.
Nice.
Hello.
Hey.
Okay.
Nick, New York Times.
Yeah.
One of Jeffrey Epstein's guards was not a full-fledged officer.
He was not checked on for...
Sorry, it just went out.
He was not checked on for hours in the short staff jail where he died.
Yeah.
Like, what, this is what I don't get is, like,
of course he didn't commit suicide.
Well, either he didn't commit suicide or he was swapped or fucking
smart.
All of these are like...
Like, it's the last, like, it's like, okay, so we know Bush did 9-11 and that there were no planes or whatever.
But
my question
is, did 3,000 people die or was it actually only 2,000?
And that's what that's.
You're saying so they like take real events and just mark up the numbers a little bit?
Just
the point is that this like fucking, it's like
there's the thing with all this Epstein shit is like it's so clearly this is a guy that's working for some fucking intelligence agency.
Maybe the CIA, maybe the Mossad, and it's the type of operation that has like a clear lineage throughout the history of the fucking CIA and organized crime in the United States where like you have
a guy that's essentially a pimp that
assembles all this fucking like compromise on
world kids or adult or whoever.
I mean, you just they used to be gays.
There was a guy, Craig Spence, that did it in the fucking 1980s, and then he was outed.
He got caught with like cocaine and fucking rent boys.
But part of the investigation, they uncovered that he was going on like tours of, he was bringing gay prostitutes on tours of the White House at like midnight.
And they were like, How the fuck did you get into the White House?
And, you know, he named it.
Jimmy Carter was just getting his dick sucked by boys.
It was Bush Went.
Bush won.
But Craig Spence has connections to the
Franklin credit union scandal, which is like another big conspiracy theory.
But you look into it and it's like, there's too much shit here where it's like, you know, or that Sasha Baron Cohen thing, where he's like sitting in that interview and he's like, yeah, I molested a boy.
Can we kill him?
And the hotel concierge is like, I we can't kill him, but we can silence him.
And he's like,
You know, he's like, Well, can you get me like a you know, a boy in between 8 and 13 or whatever?
And the guy's like, Yes, we can have that arrangement.
Jesus, it's like,
yeah, there's these people are like very powerful, very rich.
Some of them, like, have these fucking, you know,
it's like they acquire so much power.
It's like, you know, how like fucking Spitzer was like a prostitute guy, right?
Yeah, yeah, you know, client nine.
You know, and it's like, Spitzer's a good guy.
Yeah.
He was doing a good job.
Spitzer's a fucking good guy.
That's why he got caught.
That's why he got caught.
But he's
uncovering a national Wall Street, baby.
Sure, yes.
But it's like.
There's plenty of other guys getting their dick sucked probably in that same place.
The idea is that, you know, I mean, probably it's like, you know, it's got to suck to be like one of these elites that has been like basically raping sex-trafficked people.
Did you say it got to suck to be them?
It's got to suck to be them now because it's like, imagine.
Yeah.
Well, no, because it's like there's, there's,
there's more kink liberation now.
Like in five years, you're going to have people walking into Congress being like, yeah, I'm the representative for the, you know, 5th district in Iowa in a leather daddy outfit drinking like a thermos filled with cum.
And like people be like, that's just his lifestyle.
Whereas 25 years ago, that guy would have to like pay somebody that was sex trafficked into a hotel room to do that.
It would have to happen quietly so it's like all this epstein obviously not the fucking pedophilia that's the last one dude but like you know i mean yeah it used to be like like gays in politics like the reason you'd be like worried about them is because they could be blackmailed easily so they would have to have all this gay sex behind closed doors on these terms that are like strictly controlled you know and it's like
like a lot of a lot of it is like i mean that's why the fucking blackmail worked and it happened behind closed doors but then it also same thing with the fucking catholic church is you have gay priests that do protect the pedophiles, but only because there's this mutual fear of being outed by a system that, like,
doing suppress is equally as bad.
Yes, doing something equally as bad as having a consensual gay relationship with another man.
But it's like, no, I mean, in similar ways to how that functions, I mean, a lot of it is like, you know, if you let people drink cum on the floor of Congress, right?
Which is up for a vote.
Then
some of it
wouldn't be as hidden as it is.
But then obviously you got guys like the Podestas that are raping and murdering children.
That's not cool.
Sure.
But the regular homos could then be like,
well, you know what?
Just like a dad.
I am going to tell Antonio and John.
Right.
They did kidnap Madeline McCain.
Yes.
You know.
Oh, they did, yes.
They did.
They kidnapped her and murdered her.
I kind of now think Seth Rich was murdered.
Yeah.
Well, you know what's you know rational wiki?
No.
It's just like, it's like a wiki for like ideologies or whatever.
But if you go to their article for Vince Foster, it's like, oh, Vince Foster is a guy that was never murdered.
It's like all these conspiracy theories.
Nowhere does it mention that he was shot twice in the head.
They'll leave that part out.
Who's Vince Foster?
Vince Foster.
This guy that the Clintons had killed allegedly.
They had him murdered for sure.
For doing what?
He was found with a note that says Bill Clinton killed me.
Really?
Yeah.
That's the part they won't tell you.
Who wrote that?
They don't tell you that.
They won't tell you that.
We'll never know.
But it's funny.
If you go to the bottom of the article, it's like it has a link.
It says
other things to read.
And it says it links to Seth Rich.
And it says a later suicide that was also surrounded by conspiracy theories.
And it's like, okay, well, it wasn't a suicide.
No one said Seth Rich killed himself.
No.
Yeah.
No.
They list Seth's Risk's death as a suicide.
But what is this website?
I don't know.
It's just some wiki.
And it is just a mistake, but it is funny.
But those wiki things, anybody could write them.
Sure, yes.
And how much time?
Like, I spend a lot of time reading those.
And I always assume they're just real.
But, like, I mean, imagine the time that you're thinking about.
Is any of News45.com?
I don't have one, but I think I should have one.
If you did, what would it be?
It would be about
Artie Bam and Comtown.
That's it.
It would just, because it's only been the last week of my life.
Everything before the whole stream.
Yeah, the whole tree.
Wait, can I?
Okay, hold on.
There is, so now the nice thing is, though, with Epstein gone, there is a vacuum for
a pimp for children for the rich and famous.
No, Epstein's a fall guy.
They got a backup
on backup.
Trump's a billionaire, too.
They have to know each other, right?
Like, billionaires all know each other.
So, like, obviously, him being president, he has access to more national treasure Disney movie type shit where he can just hide fucking secrets.
He's got access to the secrets.
He comes back to Disney.
Yeah, Yeah, the vault.
He gets into the vault whenever he wants.
There's kids at Disney, right?
Well, no, no, no.
This is another thought that I had was the first news source to break the suicide was ABC.
Disney.
For sure, Epstein got Disney kids raped.
1,000%.
Oh, dude.
I don't know.
That's a completely separate industry.
What if you figured out the?
What do you mean that's a separate industry?
Did you see his black book?
He had all of Hollywood in there.
He had the entire entertainment industry now.
I think that's homegrown.
No.
They molest their own in the entertainment.
The problem with conspiracy theories is one day your fans are going to think that you guys are secretly also in on them and just talking about them.
Because you guys are at a level you don't think you're at.
I read the content.
Do you think we're at child rape level?
I think you guys are on the waiting list for that.
Like you guys are next up.
I don't know if it's
happening.
I don't think we're on deck for.
You don't have to do it, but you're at that level.
Yeah, I mean, and like, I'll have to bleep this like steroids and basically advertisers don't hear it but only 15 000 people listen to this show
this is not
so everybody called me literally yeah literally everybody listens to this show yeah every single person is on is on reddit it's not like this is it's well that's a lot it's a fantasy i paid for all these shirts myself yeah nick keeps buying them for himself and he sends them back to his own place
we got loyal fans yeah i'd rather have 15 000 strong the reason you're on this show is because we have a similar hustle it's just I'm a little bit better at it.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't mind failing.
I think that you learn shit when you fail.
True.
I failed a lot in life, a lot more that you haven't heard about.
I didn't go from selling fake fish tickets to scamming Bams fans in 24 hours.
What's that Wayne Gretzky quote?
Yeah, you've got to get it.
You've got to fight every Italian.
Oh, yeah, that's that.
Yeah.
Before you're 15.
You can knock out the big, retarded Italian in your neighborhood, then the open micers to try and fight.
Well, I come from a family of crime, man.
My uncle was arrested by the FBI.
He sold thousands of thousands of dollars worth of pills.
It was a wink-wink weed situation.
It was another weed situation.
I got a family that's hidden bodies.
Involving Windows 95.
You got hidden bodies.
In my family, our family's done that for the mafia back in the 80s.
Yeah, there's articles about that.
The Beatle name's pretty famous.
Damn, you love articles.
The Beatles, dude.
The band?
Yeah.
Spelled differently, but they, you know, rumor.
That's where they got it.
Would you ever would you set up, like, gay prostitute tours?
If it sold t-shirts and tickets, I would do it.
It's all about the.
I mean, you guys are in the jerkins and that was a Vinny's gay sex festival 82.
I was going to ask, like, do you think, like, because Trump
was in entertainment, now he's a politician, do you think politicians, it'll get so crazy where, like, I could book people on tours that are in the state senate where they'll be like, yeah, we'll work with Beatle.
He's worked with Artie Lang.
Definitely.
We could run our campaign tourism.
I should get into politics.
What people
don't realize is once you attain even the slightest amount of notoriety, you're in a class of elites.
That's right.
So our podcast, once it was added to itunes, we now are friends
with Corey Booker.
Oh, yeah.
We hang out.
Yeah, we've seen him with the makeup off.
We know what he looks like.
So the best story about me that you guys haven't heard about is
before I met Artie,
I met Adam Sandler and all his crew.
And how I got in with them is one of my uncle's friends lost both of his legs to diabetes.
Both of his legs.
And I figured this guy needed a manager at this point.
Thanks to him for his service.
Yeah.
So
we got him in the movie The Week of on Netflix.
He's the guy with no legs.
That's your uncle.
Yeah, he died.
He did die.
He was a heroin addict and he was an alcoholic.
But that was the first big gig I had managing scumbags, you know.
So So, you that movie was and I got to the movie premiere.
I got to meet everybody and shit, and that was really fun and cool.
And I felt like at that point, so your uncle, did they put him in like a tuxedo and then tie the legs?
I had to do his laundry, it was only a half load every time.
You know, that's a little cheap joke, but he uh no, he's dead.
He's definitely dead.
Yeah, now, okay.
Do you
the way you picked your the people that you were going to manage is you looked for amputees and other did you have like sort of a Vinny's freak show thing going on?
Other amputees that come to me once they found that,
and I would just point them in the right direction.
There is a lady in there is a lady in Hollywood who runs an agency that deals with just people.
Nice.
Jimmy wouldn't stop doing heroin, but he was going to be in the new Avengers movie.
They were going to put him in something that he flew around in,
and he just wouldn't stop doing dope and he died, you know.
Did you have anything to do with that Avengers deal?
No, I got a call and he was blowing me up.
He used to blow me up for money.
Far past, he blew Adam Sandler.
They only paid him like 60 grand for the movie.
And he blew all that, and he would hit me up for money and stuff.
And then one day he's like, Avengers wants me.
And I just thought he wanted booze, you know, so like I didn't answer him.
And then, you know, but then he died.
So you were managing him, and he got an offer to be in Avengers, and you blew it off.
You blew him off.
Look, and then he died.
Yes.
Damn, you're doing a really good job pitching your services right now.
Is the day inspiring amputees?
You know what it is?
At this point in my career, where do you go?
He's calling me, you know, crying, saying, this will be the job.
I'll be able to pay my rent and I can still be.
And me, you know, a lot of money.
Meanwhile, I had already cashed his checks and gone to Disney World in my WRX.
Bam didn't tell me that.
Bam said, next time, don't go to Disney with your cut before I show up.
You know what what I mean?
I'm already drifting through Disney World in my brand new WRX STI.
The new Furious ride, right?
That's awesome, man.
What are some other great
classic Vinnie Beetle moments that you guys have?
We used to sell used cars without
motors that ran, and we would like put this fake oil.
Hold on, that's just selling used cars.
Yeah, but like the job.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
But there were times that your integrity comes into it.
Like, if you know the car's engine's bad and we put shit in it to make it run for two days,
I would do that.
You know,
I would do that.
The one lady I sold a BMW to was $45,000, but it was like the value of it was only $20,000.
And she was so high her bill every month that she claimed the car was haunted because there was nothing wrong with it.
It was just, I just sold it to her for so much money, she couldn't afford it.
So she would bring it back and say that she was good now.
Yeah, she's now she's alive, but she still got the car, probably.
They're long contracts.
What are long contracts?
The car news?
Card, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, once they sign.
Five years.
Just use people's leverage that they need like transportation.
I was started selling cars at 15, man.
I seriously was raised around bad shit.
So by the time I seen comedy, and I was like, well, they're not fake tickets.
I'll show up at least.
Yeah.
Yes.
And then when I met some more famous people, I thought, like, oh, these tickets will sell easier.
Even already in his worst, we'd have 300 people at a theater somewhere.
So it was like, it was nice to be a part of something like that, you know.
And you guys keep in touch?
He's in rehab for a long time now, but we did.
It's tough when you do have people at that certain level of fame, they have so many people around them that once something goes bad, all those people start to blame somebody else.
So that they're like survival.
Yeah, but it is the fault of all of those people.
In six months, when Bagel Boss is now, instead of just being a guy that works at Radio Shack and has a shit life in Long Island, he'll be a heroin addict who it all fell apart for because he was surrounded by people trying to bleed him like a fucking slave.
Like me.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
And it, and it will be your fault.
So you're saying my uncle dying is my fault?
Yeah.
Yeah, probably.
Oh, no.
Because he was built long before.
Yeah.
That's not Vinny's fault.
But it got me into the business of.
He was a sick man.
Yeah.
You know.
But Artie was, dude, Artie was the coolest guy I ever worked with.
I did work with TJ Miller a couple times too.
But Artie was the coolest guy I worked with.
And to be fair, Artie was already a drug addict when you guys started working together.
Yeah, he did.
But he had a nose.
No, he had a nose at the time.
No, barely.
He was, dude, he was
like, again, when I got offered.
What do you say about the rumors that you bit off the rest of his nose?
That has been out there.
I saw an article.
I saw an article.
Somebody
left an article on my Instagram saying.
You know what's so obvious is that obviously if he's a drug addict and it's bleeding, it's because he's not stopping drugs.
And once you get something that's fucked up, you keep doing it.
The doctor's like, okay, just stop doing cocaine and heroin every day.
I'll fix it.
And he's just like, all right, I'll get back to you.
And then that's it.
So you didn't do it?
No.
Have you ever bitten anybody?
No.
I've gotten bitten.
By who?
A couple of people tried to bite me.
I bit them harder than they did.
I've gotten into a couple of biting.
No, I'm doing you.
Have you guys ever gotten into any fights?
No one's ever bitten me, but I've been a lot.
No?
No physical altercations.
I've been in fights.
I've been in a couple fights, I guess.
But I'm not like a fisticuffs guy.
I just used to drink.
Yeah.
Nah, I used to really.
No.
In my youth, sure, I was a brawler.
But I've mellowed.
Everybody fights as a kid.
Yeah.
You know, when you're younger.
That's true.
I would fight.
I was a vigilante.
A child vigilante.
Oh, you just fought bad guys.
That's right.
That's good on you.
You just stuck up for people who were bullied and stuff.
So bagel boss is like your guy.
Yeah.
If it were up to me, things would have gone a lot different.
For bagel boss.
I I would have fucked that woman up.
The thing about his situation is, I get it.
You want to make money, so you go to celebrity boxing, but you're trying to prove that you're being bullied, and then you call out people constantly.
Like, he was on the Howard Stern show calling out everybody in the office.
So, is he the bully?
Like, you could be a bully and be that small.
That's interesting.
I don't think anyone should ever point a camera at anyone from Long Island.
That's what you think about all that?
Yeah.
I just don't.
I don't.
I think you could.
I think you could find a million of those guys right now.
He's just the guy.
He thinks he's got a career coming, man.
I think if I know, it's sad.
He sees the vision.
If you could manage his career, what would you do?
Uh, bagel boss, I would just continually have him get into altercations in public.
I feel like it's the only way he's going to continue to grow what he's doing.
So, you would do more than that.
I wouldn't do the comedy tour for like a year, man.
It's so funny.
It's like, it's like, these aren't like compared to like some of the shit fucking agents have said.
Right.
You know, people,
people who like are like professional at the top of like this industry have suggested as like ideas, and it's like, this is why you don't do anything actually creative.
Yeah, it's like those ideas.
I mean, just fucking
worst ideas.
You guys have talked, like, I don't know.
I'm so oblivious.
They're like, you know, it's like, oh, well, it's a cometown podcast.
What if we like try to get you on
local radio?
We're going to get you on.
We're going to fly you to Cleveland so you can do local radio.
Because they just hear that you have big numbers and they hear you're a podcast.
Yeah, they're like, that's why I thought we would be good for me and bands.
Let's take the thing that's popular.
Look, your thing is really popular.
That's good.
And we have no idea why.
And we could never recreate it in a million years.
We're not going to try and figure it out.
We're not going to try and figure it out.
Let's just
apply the same formula that we've used to zero success for the last 25 years.
Start when you laugh.
With all of our other clients.
It's like your asshole is open when you're fucking laughing and then as an added bonus we'll we'll ask you for some of the money that you generated on your own doing the thing you were already doing i think i do exactly what agents and managers in hollywood do i just not that i'm also a comedian so people confuse the two completely right and i felt like you're also an artist too so you bridge the gap between commerce and art yeah but when i was younger i did shows and they were in front of a lot of people and i didn't get paid ever and i said what the fuck and even the guys i did take money from that were new in the game i gave them
I gave them experiences that they would never have gotten.
And I know that
people did make money back, too.
I'm not going to say I didn't.
Now some didn't as well.
Like, dude, I'm open for this book, man.
I'm not paid and I'm like, what the hell is this?
I was ripping off.
I always told him, look, the one thing I did tell him is it was up to Bam coming or not.
Like, Bam comes, we all make money.
How did you get in touch with Bam originally?
I was working with Artie already.
I had worked with TJ, so I had some kind of cloud, I guess you would call it.
Not 15,000 calls.
Bam's, you guys have definitely been the biggest buzz for me ever.
Bam calling me out on his Instagram recently went out to two million people, and a quarter million people went to my Instagram page in one day, all hating me.
Did you get followers out of that?
About a thousand.
Because everybody went there because they thought I stole money.
So it's not like they're going to be like, yeah, yeah, you know.
But they visited, dude.
Yeah, but, you know, so honestly, I'm pretty high, and I forgot the last question.
What was it?
What were you talking about?
How did you me?
Oh, how did I meet Bam?
So, right as Artie went to jail, I brought Artie to court the day he went to jail.
Nice.
And Artie's literally walking away from me.
And it seems like things just bridge together because Bam's manager, Jack, the douchebag that you guys met when we were with the necklaces.
He's the one that really does steal money and shit.
And I call him out all the time for it.
He's from the TMZ video.
Yeah, Jack, he gets punched in the face.
Notice I've never gotten punched in the face.
Bam just fucking plays shit up because he knows I'm in the spotlight, too.
Of course.
So Bam calls me and says, Jack calls me and says, We booked a show with Live Nation in Detroit at the shelter where Eminem started his career, and there's 400 people, and we don't know what we're doing.
What is it?
We're in a homeless shelter.
The shelter in the menu below St.
Andrew's Hall.
The shelters where Eminem used to do the eight-mile battles.
And that's when he pulls me into the dressing room.
Yeah!
So I
was like,
I live in a fucking
box made out of shit.
Talk about the rape.
Talk about working with land in 1998.
You're about to the land being raped by Donald Trump tour.
It's too much having
a bunch of people.
Jesus Christ.
They think it's check sheet.
They think it's a fancy.
They think it's fantasy.
I'll never get to the point of what the fuck I was going to say.
This is better.
No, it is.
It is.
Yeah, yeah.
Keep going.
But then I just fucking said, you know what?
Like, Artie's in jail.
If I want to stay relevant, I got to drive 20 hours.
And how did they find you?
That is a good question, man.
I think one of the.
So you're telling me Bam Marjorie's manager reached out to you?
You know, I was working with Artie.
So they probably thought, oh, if he's willing to work with this train wreck, he'll work with me.
I see.
And I knew one of the guys I had a situation with.
People went to his house party.
He had a party before we did that party.
And other people went.
And then there was somebody that hit me up and was like, Bam's interested in doing events.
And I said, have his manager hit me up.
And we talked for like four or five weeks while I was still with Artie.
You got to think, too, Artie Lang's a different animal than Bam.
Bam wants to party with 600 people.
Artie just wants to make sure he's got $500 a day sent to his drug dealer so he could do what he wants to fucking do.
And then he'll show up to the show and give me the entire check from that entire week.
So seven days a week.
It's $500 to $1,000 a day.
I got to make sure Artie has in his hand, whether I'm giving him that money or not.
Interesting.
And then we show up to the show, and I get the pay, which would usually be a thousand or two over what I'm owed.
You know, so that, I mean, dude, it wasn't like I was.
Now, I did do well on the shows.
I'm not going to fucking say I didn't.
I killed it on the shows that I did.
But I wasn't just like paying for play.
I was doing shit nobody.
That doesn't like this.
No point, like nothing in your like chest.
Like, you don't get any like physical reaction to, like, yeah, this, this, this beloved comedian.
That beloved.
No, he is.
He is.
He's got a huge, yeah, he is.
I mean, for what, though?
For what?
What is he beloved for?
For being an assistant?
No, for being funny.
Like, for being a bad guy.
For being an incredible.
Incredible storyteller.
For being a great, a very funny guy.
He's part of one of the best parts.
He's not beloved for
dying of a heroine.
A tragic heroin.
No, but he's very famous for talking about it on Howard Show.
Sure, but there's nothing in you that's like, all I have to do is make sure he stays high and I get to take take all of his money.
I figured I was about maybe the 20th person.
I seen Bob.
I booked Bob.
The first time I met Artie, I was already running my own comedy club and I booked Bob Levy and Artie.
No, I mean, it's fine if the answer is.
And I seen Bob doing it, and I was like, fuck it.
Yeah, it's fine if the answer is no.
Yeah, no, I did not have any.
Yeah, I'm just curious.
The answer to the question is,
I don't think like that.
Okay.
I come from a place that you do what you got to do to make money and my family paid for it.
I had family that went to jail.
I'm telling you, man, I'm not going to lie to you.
Like, yeah, there were times that I was like, yeah, he's getting high, but he's a grown man, dude.
You know, he's going to get it from somewhere else.
You think he, bam, or him, need me to get a six-pack or some fucking Coke?
No, he'll do it with the next guy.
But I already did it with Bob Levy for 20 years.
So he'll just do it with the next one.
So, yeah, I was just like, fuck it.
I'm going to get paid for a few weeks.
Fuck it, I need a couple of Mickey Mouse fitted.
Yep.
I didn't have a break coming my way.
You got to drift that WRX out of Disneyland.
Dude, look, you don't understand.
I come from a place where no matter what, you got to get to Disneyland.
Me and my friends, we would lie, cheap
steal.
We have to get our hands on...
It was punched.
It was
blown up.
It was punched.
It was nothing.
Yeah, Six Flags.
Sure.
Yeah, we could go to Six Flags.
We probably could have made it to Six Flags just ripping off old women with BMWs.
Yeah, with blown engines.
But if you want to go to Disney World, you got to really hurt some people.
Some beloved celebs.
Yeah.
R.I.P.
Tony Morrison, who I thought was a
white guy.
You thought it was an Irishman.
Dude,
until I got on social media and I saw that people were saying she was black, I was like, you thought it was a white guy.
Damn, I mean, those are, yeah, all those stories.
Beloved?
Yeah.
The bluest eye.
Yeah.
Sula.
Sula.
Yeah.
I don't know that.
But already is Beloved.
That is true.
Hell yeah.
I kind of went perfect there.
What, um,
now, would you be like a high, would you be like an Epstein-type figure for a billion if you were.
If you could have your own island, but you would have to sort of arrange for rich men to fuck 14-year-olds.
I would never have that much money because I feel like I've reached my peak in life.
No, you don't know how high you can fly, man.
Okay, Adam's been on my side this episode.
I don't know if that's like a subtle, like, that's his way of telling me I'm a fucking loser.
No, I'm not.
I'm just under the bus.
No, no, you're right, though.
I don't know.
If I had a billion dollars, I don't know what I would do.
I don't know if at that point.
You'd get a billion dollars.
Would you?
You're saying if you had a billion dollars, you don't know if you'd fuck kids or not.
I'm asking you.
You wouldn't fuck kids.
No, here's what you, for $5,000 a year, you would be the guy facilitating the rape of hundreds of children.
If we called it something different,
I might be able to do it.
Yeah, we're calling it camp kill yourself.
TPS reports or something.
We're taking these kids to camp kill yourself.
Hell yeah.
Hey, look, I come from a place where you got to do what you got to do.
So these kids get a free vacation in the island.
Somebody's going to fucking rape them.
Might as well.
Might as well make $1,000.
Look, E.G.
and Carroll got raped, and now she's doing every checkers in fucking Sarasota.
She's doing great.
She's about to do a fucking MMA fight with Bagel Boss.
I'm selling her panties in the parking lot.
Showboat September 7th, Bagel Boss.
I'm actually the one wearing the panties.
She's never even put them on.
She's never even worn the panties.
I've been making my bitch
wear panties, and then I've been selling them as E.
Gene Carroll's rape panties.
Oh, my God.
But that's how you get to Disney World, baby.
So what is your overall goal?
Do you know what I mean?
What's your five-year plan right now?
Yeah.
What are the next steps?
Well, I did Atlantic City for two years, and I like it there because I'm able to sell tickets to strangers that are basically tourists every day for shows.
Every day in YouTube.
Every day.
So the five-year plan is go to Atlantic City.
And, you know, honestly, I don't think Bam, dude, it's hard to explain because with Bam, you're day by day, right?
Because I could build up something that could be like my redemption tour or whatever I think it's going to be.
And then Bam posts one bad thing about me because he has such a big following, it goes to shit again.
Yeah, you guys are, I just love your Mr.
Burns and Smithers relationship.
He might be gay, man.
I wouldn't want him to hear that, but Bam.
Bam?
He might be.
No, I thought you might be.
Let's hear about this.
Smithers is gay.
Well, I think Smithers might be gay.
Smithers is gay.
I just like, I didn't watch it.
He thought he was Mr.
Burns.
Dude, the first.
Alright, so on the way to Detroit, they're telling me I got to interview Bam on.
I thought I was Mr.
Burns, yeah.
Oh, no, is he gay?
Oh, because he was.
I'm not gay.
We didn't know that Bam.
You guys said I was Epstein.
We didn't know that he was gay until you just outed him.
I'm not sure.
You're the hypothetical.
For the ones you're not listening.
We asked if you would, to be Epstein, would you set up the rape of thousands of children?
I said if we called it something.
you said if the name was different because then I could be in an office just thinking of pushing like whatever, you know what I mean?
Just selling shit.
That's true, man.
That's a good ass point.
Like a customer service center or something for Verizon.
You say it's Verizon.
People want upgrades and stuff.
I just feel like I sold a bunch of cases, phone cases.
No, no, that makes sense.
Yeah.
Probably how it works now.
Yeah, I'm actually working with the Podesta brothers.
Yeah, I don't know if you know them.
They had, they had, in the 80s, they had like the biggest lobbying firm there was
Now they're in the tech decks.
Well, how did Repstein get rich?
How did he get the bill?
That's what we're saying.
The CIA gave him money.
Probably to set up a little rape hotel.
Yeah, it's all fake.
I bet you he had it on Trump and one day they were just arguing and he was like, you know what, Trump, I'm going to tell everybody.
Did you see all that money that was laundered through the Oklahoma lottery to his like hedge fund?
No.
What?
It was like $85 million that his hedge fund won in the Oklahoma lottery.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I mean, it's like that.
That's fucking incredible.
It's just the amount of, like, how much it's just like all out in the open yeah but do you think that's how people
q is real not the donald trump stuff but it's like oh yeah it's all just a because wait what's q q's the one that thinks some fucking guy is john fenned jr
yeah but i mean there's a lot of conspiracy stuff that you know it's funny because the movie jfk love that movie is like i almost not that it's like part of the conspiracy or whatever but like if you can get it like it does paint this image that like the cia or the deep state hated Kennedy because he limited the amount of power that they have.
But it's like, why, why would you think we all know like what the CIA has done, what they've planned?
Yeah.
We know that their budget has like gone through the fucking roof since 9-11.
And it's like this idea that like, or even like the FBI, which is not a fucking clandestine like, you know, spy organization.
It's just a shitty law enforcement, you know, right?
Yeah.
Like, you know, Comey having that letter they sent MLK on their desk being like, this is how we used to be bad, but we're not bad anymore.
And it's like, oh, yeah, you just, you're going after all these unnamed Muslim people that weren't as fortunate as MLK to be articulate and famous.
And yeah, to head a civil rights movement.
Instead, you're just going to violate the civil liberties of, you know, retarded Arabs or whatever.
Yeah, Detroit.
Whoever the fuck.
To think that, like, I mean, like, the power of that organization hasn't been fucking limited.
So, this narrative that the CIA, which like have had, like, such an extensive control of, like, the, like, media in general.
Uh, uh, if you look at those, like, hacked Sony emails and see how many fucking government emails are in those hacked Sony emails where they're like orchestrating, like, oh, here, like, this might, you know,
so-and-so seems like they might be friendly to this agenda or that agenda.
And, like, all of these, like, movies, like, I'm like, Zero Dark 30 or whatever comes out that are like, you know, try to portray the CIA as something cool, right?
Rather than like an organization that at one point planned like, you know, false flag operations on actual fucking Americans as like a false pretext.
And help death squads kill, like, help fucking death squad.
Is that the way that they keep the public away from wanting to look at what they're really doing is by making them seem like the super cool secret spy agent?
Like when you're a kid, I want to be in the CIA or FBI, but really they're just doing other shit.
I don't, you know, it's funny.
It's like, I think it's, it's,
and this, like, goes like,
you know, so after World War II, right, you have, like, post-World War II, like, uh, the American control of,
we're a superpower juxtaposed with, like, the Soviet Union.
And we were put into that position from, like, because of just the economics of World War II.
Yeah, we got lucky.
We didn't fight on our mainland.
We got lucky.
We didn't fight on our mainland.
We mainland, we ripped off Latin America for like fucking $30 billion on a loan we just didn't pay back.
Just massive amounts of money that the United States.
Sounds like I was running the government for quite some time.
We had control over.
And then so you have these like intelligence people, all these CIA guys that were created specifically for World War II.
And now it's like, oh, I guess we'll just keep these guys around.
And then it's like, well, we're the smartest people in the world.
We have to keep doing fucked up shit so we can stay in power.
And honestly, it's like they could just do nothing.
Yeah.
They could just do nothing at at all and let fucking business handle it.
Cash that check.
Yeah, I know.
It's like, really?
So I, you know, I don't know.
I don't, like, know the motivations to, like, yeah, why don't we try to like kill, like, make people think Americans were killed by these people for this reason or that reason.
Like, I don't understand.
It's like they have a budget.
They get rich as shit.
Yeah, it isn't because they just want to go to war to make us say, like, oh, we need that oil.
Like, so the oil that's there, we need.
We can't just go over there and start killing people because then everybody here will be like, it's scary to think
we have to come up with something about it but I don't know why that turns into throwing a plane into the building it's scary to think how much of it functions the same way the rest of the federal government where it's like they have a budget and they're like fuck well we got fucking we got thirty trillion dollars in dark money after nine eleven it's like we need something to fill that how about we start like uh uh why don't we create a tech company and we'll just slowly take over Google and then introduce like face recognition everywhere and use that to like pad out the budget so that we can like afford a nicer we can you know all go to California Pizza Kitchen for
HR can have more money.
Guffs out.
Right, yeah.
So we can get a cake from Balducci's
HR can afford that.
That is how we talk.
That's how I talk.
I'll be like, oh, well, let's do this so we could go to Disney, right?
How about we, yeah, how about we create a
false pretext for the invasion of Iraq?
So that.
Wait, do we have any ads in this one?
No, we don't.
Nice.
Yeah.
So besides the VinnyBetleshow.com, of course.
Definitely check that out.
Because there's only two t-shirts on that website right now.
Oh, and also come see me in Boston this freaking weekend.
We got a statistics.
Oh, yeah.
Also, if you like the show and you want the premium episodes, they're on patreon.com/slash come town.
That is very close to 50,000, right?
That's another thing I keep reading about.
So people should go sign up for it.
Yeah, hands off.
Hands off.
Well, we have a goal if we get to 50,000, we take stop to a pumpkin pad.
That's what I heard.
But then somebody said that me and him do celebrity boxing.
No, that was never a goal.
How about this?
They don't set the goal.
Yeah.
They don't decide what happens.
No, I appreciate you guys bringing me, man.
This was fun.
Also, August 29th, I'm at the lodge room in Los Angeles.
The 28th, I'll be at the Whistle Stop in San Diego.
I don't think you can get tickets online for that.
You have to get them at the door.
The whistle stop.
Adam's been
doing the angry gentleman.
He's doing
leather chaps.
I didn't know.
I didn't.
Maybe it's a different club.
Adam is going to show up at all of your games.
Adam will be
secrets and rumors and tough guys.
Yeah, this weekend I'm in freaking Boston.
Adam's at Chain Gang.
Go to stobby.biz slash tour.
I'm also doing it on Twitter and Insta.
And then next weekend, I'm in the Bay Area, the 24th.
We added a midnight show.
Get tickets to that selling.
And then the 29th, I'm in Seattle.
The 30th, I'm in Portland.
It's awesome.
So come suck me off.
V will be opening for me in all those.
Yeah, I might might show up to one second.
Stop paying him $5,000 or $5,000.
He's just got to get my drug dealer paid, and that's all I care.
He's just got to get my seamless order, my $5,000 seamless dollars.
I would stop there.
I got a big tour I'm negotiating with the bagel boss, Chris Morgan.
So
we got to see.
Where would you book him?
I don't think it would be possible.
I feel like I would just do the Vinny Beatles show, and he would just be a special guest.
Gotcha.
You'd only be able to be on.
There you go, Chris.
Nah, but I'm starting a show in Atlantic City.
So if you guys do keep tabs on me, you'll see a little residency there that I'm going to be doing.
We're in Atlantic City.
It's going to be on the boardwalk, one of the main casinos, but I'm not allowed to say.
Who's like, you know, honey, you know what we're going to go see this week?
Bagel balls.
I'm not really going to put them on.
You remember that guy that got beat up at a bagel restaurant?
He's doing the Tropicana.
But you know what?
I really wanted to get back on the show, and I was just doing anything.
I was like, I'll find somebody fucking viral enough.
And Nick was just like, enough.
Like, if you're going to make me bad.
Open invite.
Yeah, no, you've always, it's just, I don't want to schedule anything.
Well, dude, I didn't know where the.
What am I going to be?
That fucking weirdo that hangs out outside.
I liked.
You were like.
I can be there whenever.
I'm only 85 minutes away.
I just needed to know that.
That's the thing.
I do have a family.
Dude, I'm just 85,
85.
He goes, we start at 6 on the dot.
And when I
got a little bit stoned, and I left Connecticut, and it said I was going to arrive at 6.02.
Oh, wow.
And I was like, New York traffic.
I thought I was going to be here at 6.30, but my girl's fucking.
She got you there.
That's a ride or die for you.
Yeah, she is.
She is, man.
She's in the car.
All right.
We need to cruise on over to the show, I think.
All right.
Later, fellas.
Thanks for having me.
I got to get some food.
If you want to buy a a shirt, come.town.
I should be restocked shortly, the day after this airs, if you're looking to get the classic
Richard Gibbs.
And those are flying off the shelves, so you do it when they get posted.
I had to camp out on that website.
Yeah, check them out.
All right, later.
Bye.
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