Ep. 161 – Too Much Canada

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Check five five five yes.

Oh, you already started?

Yeah.

Okay.

I did.

Adam?

Check.

Can you hear me?

I can't.

I don't know.

I have the thing in.

Okay.

But I'm sure it's fine.

And by I'm sure it's fine.

I mean.

Who gives a fire?

Ooh.

Ooh, baby, I love kisses.

That light-skinned lion shit.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Ooh, ooh.

Our light-skinned lions were a great meme.

Yeah.

Check it out if you haven't had a chance, gang.

This is welcome to the saying things from the internet.

Welcome to memes we saw that we enjoyed.

Memes we fucked.

Memes we busted inside.

Memes we fucked.

Have you jacked off to a meme before?

I'm trying to think of it.

I think.

Actually, now I can think of it.

What was it?

Remember that one where it was the girl holding the other girl's hair in a ponytail?

That's a good one.

And then pouring water in her mouth.

Milk, it's milk.

It's milk.

Yeah, it's really good.

That's a fucking great one.

You can't even see their titties.

It's so sexual.

Yeah, I just want that girl to fucking eat that other girl's pussy.

I love how...

Honestly, that's what I was thinking.

And then people put words over over it like my anxiety.

Right, yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Finals.

Right.

Going to a party.

My anxiety.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or something like that.

Your anxiety is the girl holding your hair back, probably.

Yeah, standing in the corner at a party.

Let's do a verbal meme right now.

Verbal meme.

Okay, the girl.

The girl getting the

water poured in her mouth is.

Hold on, hold on.

How about this?

Let's say you're an Indian

woman.

and you can be

beautiful or whatever.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I love the same pic.

No, my favorite.

No, no, you have to take the same pic and put an Indian delicacy.

No, what I'm saying.

Me would be the girl getting the milk,

and then the milk would be

links to Indian men's dating profiles,

and the girl would be my parents.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something like that.

Okay, that'd be relatable.

Yeah, that'd be relatable for Punjabi with a Dezzy person, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Milk could be

guys, Indian guys,

or trying to get me to marry Indian guys could be the milk.

And then the girl could be my mom.

Why don't we do these kind of...

My mom every time I'm at home.

Why do we have to do this together?

Or you wait for Thanksgiving.

You say, my mom at Thanksgiving.

Milk

telling me I should marry and when am I asking me?

Telling me to air milk.

Asking me when I'm going to settle down with a nice Indian boy.

A nice Punjabi MC.

Exactly.

And then me, the girl.

I would love to date an Indian girl for a family.

We just go through a family and then like...

Disappoint them?

Well, yeah, date the Indian girl for like six months and being like, Prinjaya, I love you.

Like, I want to meet your Doddhead family.

No, no, you can't say that to me.

But, you know, what I just played.

Well, no, thank you.

I want to meet him.

And we're going to, I can't wait to meet your.

I just do all of the rituals correctly.

So I show up front door.

I've got the sword holstered.

You're on an elephant.

I'm covered in ribbons.

You're on an elephant.

You ride it on an elephant.

You have diarrhea.

Yeah.

And then I get in there, shoes stay on right up to the fucking, just going through the refrigerator.

I'm like, all this stuff smells like shit.

You're dressed like Aladdin.

Yeah, you're staying in that relationship for six months and saying you'd love to do a bit, yeah.

Just so you could do what you're doing.

Are you racist, I guess?

To be racist to a family.

All this food fucking stinks.

We just had Indian food for dinner.

I know, but in this story.

It's good food.

This food stinks.

And they're like, why are you dating an Indian guy?

And I'm like, fucking Indian people are dumb.

That's why she's not dating an Indian guy.

Yeah.

Because she doesn't want to end up like you.

If I was that girl, if I was that girl, doctor.

Hold on, Harfield.

If you're that girl, you could make a meme.

And it could be like...

How about a meme?

My boyfriend could be the girl holding the milk and then racist stuff.

Yeah.

And then the girl drinking the milk could be my family.

But you know what?

That would just make her like me.

The milk is the racist stuff.

If I owned her parents that way,

I'd be like, why are you judging Vijanka this way?

Vijankia is just trying to fucking

work in a coffee shop.

That's fine.

She doesn't want to be an engineer.

She's not trying to be a fucking, what, George Clooney on ER?

That's what you want for her?

Where is he now?

That's right.

Married to an Indian woman of his own.

I don't know.

Maybe if you think doctors are so smart, you should look at the smartest doctor of all time, Mr.

George Clooney.

That's what she do.

Amal Clooney?

Yes.

Amal.

It's Amal Persian, right?

She's maybe George Clooney's wife.

I know.

Yeah.

Oh,

I don't know her as George Clooney.

I'm sorry.

You mean Amal's husband?

Don't you mean

Amal's husband?

George Clooney's bitch.

Oh, George Clooney's bitch.

Yeah, okay, now I know what I'm talking about.

She's a human rights bitch for George Clooney.

She's one of them human rights bitches.

How about the meme?

And it's the guy looking over his shoulder at the other girl, but the one, the one he's with is wheat thins, and the one he's looking at is triscuits.

Triscuits.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Rosemary and olive oil triscuits.

Those are really good.

Oh, we are on a roll.

What other memes do you have?

Dude, why don't we just instead of doing this disgusting show that we do, why don't we just do

norm memes?

How we do.

Get 100,000 retweets on all of them.

Here's the thing.

We're going,

that's what we're doing.

Now we're doing the shit.

People have been doing visual memes.

Now it's time we did audio memes.

And that's what this show is.

Oh, we're inventing that.

Okay.

Okay, let's see.

It could be like a picture of a hot girl on a beach.

And there's a seagull

trying to eat

an ice cream cone that she has in her hands.

So go ahead and make a meme off that.

We got a hot girl on a beach.

Sorry, she is holding an ice cream cone and a seagull.

And she's like, ah, and a seagull is stealing it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So the ice cream.

The seagui's just

studying for finals.

Okay.

And the girl is me.

Me.

And then the birds.

This sounds like trying to remember a dream.

No, no, hold on.

And then the bird is

a girl showing up with a quesa for loco in the dorm, yeah, or like um some sort of like like a you know, like wildcat fest on the quad, that's good, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They got 311 this year, yep, and uh,

and Raekwon from that's right, yeah, from they got t-pain coming in.

How about Gaekwan?

That's all that's really good.

Have they Gaikwan the the penis chef,

Gaekwan the chef that prepares dishes made out of semen.

My favorite rapper, Gaquan.

Gaiquan, the fucking.

It's so weird.

It's like, this Airbnb is like, it's nice, but can you imagine this being your apartment?

Yeah, no, this right so we're

right now, to let you guys know, we are in

Succa Dikaliana.

We're in Edmonton,

Alberta.

Oh, Get Headman.

Might as well be Russia.

The Dallas of.

Yeah, it is Russia.

It's like Petro Dollars.

We're in Get Hedmonton.

Literally on an off-campus dorm somewhere.

That's what we're doing.

Yeah, but like we're the rich kids

that go to school.

They don't live at the

state housing.

We don't share a fucking bathroom with 12 other motherfuckers on the floor.

No.

We have a suite and we have two bathrooms.

There's four bedrooms.

We each have a full pathway.

There is no furniture.

No furniture.

There's one couch and one IKEA table.

Sitting on one little couch right there.

You could karate chop through pretty easily.

But we're going to get some pussy.

Tonight we're going out to get pussy.

We're going bitch hunting.

We're going bitch hunting on campus.

Edmonton.

What school are you on?

Some fake-ass Canada shit.

Yeah, it's so funny that Canada has colleges too.

You know what I mean?

It's like, shut up, bitch.

Yeah, what are you learning?

Fucking legal.

Learn this dick.

Yeah, exactly.

Learn a moose, fucking a moose's head.

What are you going to learn?

Fucking syrup.

Yeah, learn.

What are you learning how to be

not as tight as us?

Poutine, what about you?

Why don't you put my Dick Ean?

Mick Ewin University

Poutines, and it's a website where Indian girls, young Indian girls.

No more Indian talks.

We just had Indian.

I was afraid this was going to happen.

But the spices

are

a special kind of rice Indian.

I just...

It's that coconut.

Once he has coriander, he can't stop speaking in the voice.

You give this motherfucker cumin, he doesn't know how to act.

It's because we've gone without our Uber drivers for so long.

That's true.

I don't have access to them.

I get it out of my system in those Ubers.

You know?

Well, Canada is a very diverse culture.

There's a lot of South Asians here.

Not a lot of Indians.

I've seen Somali guys.

There are a lot of Indians.

In Canada in general, yeah.

What's the school we're at?

McEwen University.

Let's see what that place is about.

McEwen.

McEwen.

From the United States.

McEwen, McGregor.

McEwen.

Yeah, they invented rape at this college.

I don't think that's true.

It was the first mattress girl thing.

That's not true.

The mattress girl thing happened.

I think some caveman with a parcel.

I think the Chiquita banana lady was raped in a pile of fruit.

I don't think that.

And that's why she goes to her.

She carried it on her hand as a remembrance.

Some guy pushed me into a basket of fruit and raised it.

It was an MFA.

I do not think that I have a fairy.

I think it's just a fun thing.

Now I have to go around.

I have to carry all this fruit around so people know that he raped me with each piece of fruit on this thing no I'm trying to go to this

grapes shoved into my pussy oh this used to be a community college dude dude this used to be called Grant McEwen Community College and now it's a real university this is named after some fucking guy that

was at the University of Saskatchewan

or not even in Saskatchewan he looks like Hitler honestly look at him does this guy look like Hitler damn tear down the statue of him, right?

Yeah.

Get rid of that.

Grant McEwen looks like Hitler.

Fuck him.

So I'm thinking, boys.

He was a member of the Legislative Assembly of Alberta.

He was the mayor of Calgary.

Okay, that's something.

But he can suck my fucking dick while he's at it in hell.

Suck my dick in hell.

Wheel!

Wheel!

Grant McEwen, you can suck my dick in hell.

Suck my penis.

Suck my penis.

Suck my penis.

I'm in hell, and I'm getting my dick sucked.

Yeah.

That's pretty good, dude.

I'm watching the video of that girl making fun of Dasha and Anna.

What girl?

Simone Norman.

Oh, nice.

What?

Are you watching it right now?

Why are you watching it now?

It came up again on Twitter.

Yeah, it's going real viral.

I'm thinking we go to the strip club after this.

Okay.

Because you know, boys, how at the beginning of this tour,

right at the end of the tour, we all promised each other on the first day that we wouldn't jack off or come this whole trip.

So I'm thinking we go to the strip club.

This is our last night, you know, without a show, off-night.

We go there and we all bust in our pants together.

That's a good thing, that's not cheating.

It's not cheating if it's if you bust in your pants, it's not cheating.

No way.

That's a genius, dude.

Yeah.

That's

this.

We just start, we just make the thinnest pants of all time.

Yeah, we just

become an engineer, dude.

My pants fit through, you can just put the pants into the pussy.

You're like, no, I mean, we brushed up against each other, and I happened to come in my pants.

Yeah, no, there's like a fabric dick cut out, yeah,

or you can, here's what you do: it's like a condominium.

You make pants made out of condoms, yeah, yeah.

So, you so if you wear a condoms,

it's technically busting in your pants If you

have the condoms,

pants made of brilliant hero.

Dude, that's a shark tank I do.

Shark tank.

This is so we can start cheating on our girlfriends.

We made pants that are made out of latex condoms.

So

you can bust in your pants.

And it's not cheating.

Mr.

Wonderful, I don't know if gay guys have this problem, but would you be interested in investing?

I'm not gay.

What about me makes you think that?

that the with that guy draymond is just like

crying and he's like that's the most foo boo shit i ever heard

that honestly that's the most foo boo shit

i ever heard on this show i'll give you a billion dollars for two percent

take the whole company dude just take it i'm ready to ascend

this place is ten dollar ten dollar men cover five dollar lady cover Oh, so you think there'll be pussy at the strip club?

Yeah, because women love going to strip club.

They love going just to

gender.

To be around guys.

They love that.

To be around the guys.

Alpha male that American episode.

What are the type of alphas that go to the strip club on Monday night?

Yeah, it's Tuesday.

Is it Tuesday?

Well, there is a $2,000 contest at the other strip club, but it doesn't have as good reviews.

We're going to go win that contest.

Let's give it some publicity.

Shea Pierre's Cabaret.

What is it?

Hold on.

I'll find them both.

I was just looking at the reviews on Google.

And then the other one is Shade Gentleman's Club.

Oh, they're both Shade.

Shade?

No, Shea, like a Shade and Shea Player.

Chez.

Chez Pierre.

Che Pierre.

Che Pierre.

The House of Pierre's House Pussy Club.

But apparently, it's Tuesday night.

Apparently,

there's some sort of contest at Shade Gentleman's Club.

Interesting.

What kind?

Let me find it.

But it's a $2,000?

Prize.

Okay.

Do we have to strip?

So it's Tuesday's Filthy Feud, where you can win up to $2,000 if you're lucky and have a dirty mind.

Is that all they describe the concept?

I mean, we have to have a dirty mind contest.

Yeah, we have to have the dirtiest mind contest.

It's like home alone.

But this time, they catch Kevin.

And Kevin, all of his toys can't save him.

That's so dirty.

It's like pranks.

Very dirty.

Because, yeah, and it turns out Joe Pesci fits entirely into Kevin's ass.

And the other guy, fucking Daniel, whatever.

They tape a dildo to a paint can and release it into his ass.

They fucking.

They both hold.

One of them holds Kevin's, each one of them holds Kevin's legs.

And then they jump down the hole where the basement stairs used to be.

Impaling Kevin via his ass on the broomstick

that he has set up.

And I'm like, I'm not finished.

I'm using my time to get that $2,000.

I go city to city telling the dirtiest story.

Having the dirtiest mind.

Having the dirtiest mind.

This guy, Lex Luther, says, shout out to Savannah, the great Sis girl.

We love her, hubby Bean.

Five stars.

Sounds good.

Lexis is like the name of every girl there.

There's no way there's just one Alexis.

Beautiful women with awesome dance skills.

Wow.

That's important to me.

I hope the choreography is tight.

Honestly, if it's not tight,

I'm not throwing loonies or toonies at her pussy.

That's so true.

How do you tip if they don't have dollar bills here?

Do you insert the coins into her pussy?

Like a venting machine.

You start at the beginning of every song, you have to put a coin in her pussy.

I have heard you can grab the titties in Canada at the strip club.

That's honestly awesome.

Can I say that?

That's what the strip club was like when I was 19 and I engaged in Israel.

I engaged in a backroom blow job.

Oh, yeah, what was this?

Backroom, backroom, backroom blowjob.

Ice cream paint job?

Yeah.

Sucking on hot, hard dicks because I'm gay.

Sucking on old man's penis for a living,

sucking on hard ass dicks for a living.

Yeah, we just discovered that that song is Panic at the Disco.

Yeah, I thought it was some like mixed-race teen.

Yeah, it seems like a mixed-race set.

It's the band of Las Vegas.

Some guy that wears nothing but like hoodies and very tight.

Some guy with like a curly hair up top, but a skin fade on the sides.

Yes, yeah.

And one like earring.

A kid with like Frylocks haircut

and fucking

and then a hoodie and then painted on jeans.

Yes.

The hoodie costs $800 for a while.

$800 hoodie.

One of these rich black kids.

One of these spoiled black kids.

One of these

snobs.

I'm tired of this.

That's funny.

You know how these spoiled kids?

What group has it too easy right now?

Sexy.

Girls kissing naked boys.

Spoiled mixed-race children.

Yeah, you're against fucking race, mixed, but you say because they're spoiled.

Because they're spoiled.

Because they're rich moms.

They're rich black moms.

Can't get enough spoiling.

No, it's a class.

I'm talking about class.

It's a class.

It's really class-ish.

Are these rich?

These rich, mixed-race kids.

Yes.

Okay, so I'm on the Facebook page now of this.

Of which one?

Shade or Shade?

Shade's Pierre.

The House of Pierre.

So we hear

that.

We can see if the talent is right.

What the talent is looking like?

Do they show pussy in Canada?

No, they don't have pussy here.

I don't remember.

I remember the rule of thumb in Vegas growing up

if you can stick your thumb in her pussy.

Was that you can stick to yourself?

She pushed her thumb in her pussy.

She is now your slut.

No, no.

For purchase and pleasure.

Put her out to pasture.

It's like quiddage if you catch the little fucking ball.

Wow, these girls are exotic and beautiful.

Let me see.

I wonder if there was any plantation owner that

went to see if

there was a market for breast milk.

I think you're sure.

Oh, like in your...

Okay.

Uh-huh.

I think we would have heard about.

I guess they're probably milking the slaves.

You got to think about refrigeration is big when it comes to breast milk.

I know.

That's why you would need, because in the South, they didn't have refrigeration.

So you would just need massive amounts of slaves to produce titty milk.

No, but what I'm saying is you would need it cold.

I don't want to drink warm titty milk.

It's weird that they're taking pictures on this Facebook page of the girls' damn milk cheese.

Sorry, I yeah.

Breast milk cheese could be good.

Yeah, it's crazy.

They didn't have air conditioning in the South until like 1930.

Yeah.

What a horrible place.

That's your fucking shit life.

Just needing to fan yourself constantly.

Damn.

Makes slavery seem even less chill.

Yeah, it does.

It'd be one thing if it was like a nice 70-degree day.

If you were like the slave that got to drive the Zamboni machine, that would be an okay job.

But it is just

heat.

If I recall correct,

there was no Zamboni.

There was not.

There was no job.

It did not have ice skates.

One of the jobs in slavery.

I want to see like Texas school books.

They're like, and how you doing, children, if you could get off the ice for a minute?

Mr.

Timothy is going to come by on the Zamboni machine.

The slaves got to it.

Smooth that ice out for you.

They got to take an aptitude test that placed them

in a bunch of different fun jobs.

It was a Zamboni operator.

Somebody had to sell the fucking hot chocolate at the ice skating rink.

You both on your phones now?

Well, I'm just researching the strip club situation because I'm so horny.

Okay.

It's $10 for men, $5 for women, and a 50% entry discount for members of the armed forces.

So if we dress up like ladies and

soldiers, $2.25.50.

Oh, boy, my friend.

They're like, listen.

I know you think we don't have Jews in Canada, but we see this all the time.

A bunch of guys that look like Woody Allen in combat boots and fish and tops

with fucking lipstick on on the corner.

Hello, it's me, Jesus.

Now I split a chair with one of them.

You can pay half price.

Wow, they have Instagram too?

Wow.

Now, have you

shown us a single one of these women?

I really should be paying better attention to the show and not to these titties.

No, no, the show's going fine.

The show's great.

I'm still laughing about the slave driving the Zambia.

That was very funny.

It's Wet Whiskey Wednesday.

Come get out of the rain and warm up with one of our beautiful performers.

Salem.

Salem could get it.

Yeah, Salem could get it.

Now, is there a website?

Is there a website where

getting it means busting in?

Busting in my condom pants.

Cause I bust

in my condom fucking pants.

Cause I'm busting in my condom fucking pants.

pants.

I busted in my pants pants.

Don't even stop cheating.

I just bust real easy.

I'm busting in my pants, pants.

Bust in my pants, pants.

Panic, I busted in my pants.

Damn, some of these girls do not look as good.

Nasty, nasty, nasty bitch.

She a nasty bitch.

You a nasty bitch.

Damn it.

Now they tagged one of the strippers, and now I'm on

her account.

Let me see.

Michaela.

What does she look like?

She has a lot of tattoos.

I like that.

I don't like tattoos.

Let me see, please.

Okay.

This is how it happens with Instagram.

You just start on one thing, innocently trying to look at a strip club's page, and then you're on the strippers page.

And then you're looking at her Reuted Up boyfriend's page, and then you DM her, and you're like, I'm worried about you and this guy.

I don't think he's fine.

I think this guy's bad for you.

I think he's bad.

Listen, I'm a comedian.

Oh, shit.

Of course, she's.

Listen, I'm a police officer.

She's got some bondage shit.

If you need to feel safe, I'm going to come to your apartment now.

Give me the address.

I would love to make her feel safe.

Please drop a pin.

If you want to.

Ma'am, I'm trying to sexually protect you with my gun.

You are under being my girlfriend?

What was that?

You are being placed under my girlfriend.

Ma'am, please keep your hands on the wheel.

My name is Officer Chowdhury.

You're wearing sweatpants, ma'am.

Oh, fuck.

So, what are we going to do after this?

We're going to blaze up, go to the strip club.

No,

that is a mistake.

I've done that.

Really?

Fool me once.

I've done it far too many times.

Because when we were in high school and we turned 18, the only thing we could do was go to all nude strip clubs, and you couldn't go to the topless ones because those had alcohol because they didn't went pussy and alcohol mixing.

Oh, really?

Yeah, so me and my friends used to blaze.

So you couldn't have a cocktail and look at a woman.

No, no, no.

We drink juice with Chinese businessmen at Little Darlings.

And

yeah, and then we would get stoned and then just they'd play the music videos along with the songs.

And so we'd just like end up just watching, like, we'd be like, oh, fucking puddle of mud, dude.

That's a weird ass band.

Why is she dancing to this?

This isn't a very sexual song, you know?

Yeah.

So, uh, so, yeah, blazing is not good for

the vibe, I don't think.

I guess I'll just blaze up and suck my own dick.

You could do that.

I mean,

I don't even think,

whatever.

Let's just finish this fucking podcast so I can bust to my business.

I can't wait to bust.

You just need to jack off, dude.

I told you.

I thought we all made a pact not to jack off this whole thing.

You've been fucking, I don't know how to tell this to you, but you've been fucking sleep-busting every night.

That should have been a reality show, Bust House.

Bust house.

Five guys

in a house, and they're like, none of them are allowed to jack off.

And it's just guys quietly jacking off on night vision camera.

And they have like a computer room.

And it's like...

They're just meeting in the morning, and there's a guy with his shirt off making a protein shake.

And he's like, yeah, bro, I got to talk to you because I went to go get a glass of water last night and I saw you busting

the computer.

Put him on.

Like just a tight shot at it.

Tyler, I saw you busting.

I swear I wasn't busting.

I wasn't busting.

I was edging.

I edged for a while, but I didn't bust.

Tyler and Sasha debate whether he busted or not.

Coming up on Bust House.

Nah, dude, you couldn't let the bust.

Dude, I asked you several times, stop bringing up that girl with big tits we saw.

Don't say the word breast.

That girl we saw with big boop.

Don't sit and they like blur his mouth when he says tits.

Bust house.

Dude.

That sounds good.

You cannot watch fucking commercials for fucking bikini waxes.

You cannot watch a fucking Summer's Eve douche commercial.

It gets me too fucking horny, bro.

Eric has some news to share with the group.

The producers found out that I actually have testicular cancer, which prevents me from busting to begin with.

So they're asking me to leave the show.

Boys, go play putt-putt golf to send Eric off.

One last hang before Eric has to leave because he lied about his testicular cancer.

Bro, honestly, when I found out your nuts didn't work, I felt really betrayed, bro.

Yeah, he's fake as hell.

I just can't wait till we get back to the clubhouse and we can play we.

God damn.

You People would watch it.

I would legitimately watch it.

I would watch Bust House.

Honestly, I'm thinking about it.

That would be a challenging thing to do.

Yeah.

To live it.

But they're just constantly beating off.

No, no, no.

But in a scenario where there's like the cameras are watching you, and every time you grab your cock, it's like

or something.

No, it's not.

It's just that it's 10 guys in a house, and they're not supposed to beat off.

But you don't get anything for not beating off.

There's no

rule.

But people are not talking about how they're there to win.

Yeah, I'm not here to make friends, even though I have.

I'm here to not beat off,

not bust,

and then they're just constantly beating off.

Yeah, Eric, I could tell that you're beating off right now.

No, I'm not, dude.

There is cum all over the spatula.

That is honestly such an interesting.

We should pitch Bust House because

I honestly would watch that.

Is there a prize?

Is it just like Jersey shows?

There's no prize.

There's no point to it.

There's not even...

They have to go to work, right?

The way all those shows are?

No, they have to work at like a.

No, they don't have cell phones.

Oh, there's like challenges?

Yeah, yeah.

They're like,

yeah, they tried to work at the local burrito fiesta, but Eric beat off.

The boys immediately started beating off.

But unfortunately, they employed a pretty hot 15-year-old hostess.

A 15-year-old girl was working there, and they couldn't help but take turns beating off in the bathroom.

Just looking at her and closing your eyes because you were in a room.

Bro, we weren't in the house.

We all caved.

Bro, that's my little cousin, bro.

Yeah, they're just standing around in a circle, and there's tiki torches in the backyard next to the jacuzzi.

And they're like, we all promised we wouldn't bust at burrito fiesta.

We all said we wouldn't do it.

And we all failed the challenge, and that's on all of us.

And we're going to learn and grow from this.

Bust house.

So, does anyone get eliminated?

No.

No, you just get caught in every single thing.

So, it's just

Jersey Shore,

but it's about not beating off.

There's no rules basically other than you can get.

That's what binds these people together.

And then at the end, they realize that they've made friendships for a lifetime.

And it's through showing that masturbation is evil.

What you can accomplish by not busting.

Yeah, male friendship.

Because you know that busting gets in the way of men being friends with each other.

You know, you want to throw a...

We're so catty.

You want to throw a wrench in there?

Yeah.

Put a gay guy in there.

Oh, my God.

Well, I'll tell you what.

It would be cool if one of them.

His dick didn't work.

I think so.

Whoa.

And he was tricking all of them.

But then the show is sponsored sponsored by Blue Chew.com.

Bust House.

Blue Chew.

The official sponsor

trying to trick straight men into sex.

Drop some Blue Chew

drinking.

Yeah.

Blue Chew will make a guy's dick hard whether he wants it or not.

And if you see a fella you like, mix a little Blue Chew in the GHB

and you can drug and rape him.

No,

with the help of Blue Chew.

We just got our sponsors back.

We finally got our reads back.

No, we didn't lose.

We never lost anything.

No, no, no, I know.

I'm just trying to create a narrative, man.

No, all our other sponsors went out of business.

Thursday Boots does it exist anymore?

No, because they found out they were selling boots to cops to kick

in some pantsy for skulls.

I forgot about that.

Yeah, no, that didn't work.

We couldn't do that.

Then we probably shouldn't even mention it.

Yeah, we shouldn't mention it.

No.

They're still in business.

What happened was it's not winter anymore, so they didn't want to buy advertising.

Oh, it's for the winter.

Well, it's winter in Australia now.

Yeah,

call them back.

We have a lot of fans there.

I guess they're probably advertising an Australian podcast.

They talk like fucking advertisers.

They wear in Australia, even during the day.

Still listening to the dinghy fucko podcast.

I'm fucko dingus.

I'm fucking gay Tom.

I'm shit-ass faggot shit.

Blingo.

There he is.

Blingo bluck.

Blingo fair shit ass.

I'm from Australia.

I'm a monkey dude.

I'm Wazoo Cockface all the way from down under, and I need Blue Chew to make my bitch dick work.

Oi, when I'm out on the all the outback.

And when you're on the air back, it's too hot to get your danglo stiff.

you gotta take it.

Blue chew.

Blue chew.

Blue chew.

Blue chay.

Yeah, there's only a five-degree range that I can get hard in.

It's between 68 and 73 degrees.

Yeah, I need a predator to be looking at my dick.

I need to tempt a pit viper with my dick.

Make sure it's the exact right temperature, that its IR sensors go off and it fills my dick with sweet venom.

And that's actually what Blue Chew is made out of.

The ingredients in there, it's the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, which was a lot of people don't know this, it's snake poison.

Snake poison.

And how they discovered that was by spending some time in the jungle.

Yes, that's right.

Bob Dole went to the Amazon.

Got his cock absolutely.

He was like, well, if I can't be president, I'll guess I'll get my dick sucked by snakes.

He's saying, that was his camp picture, I promise.

If I don't become president, I promise you.

I promise I will get my dick sucked by snakes down to Brazil and I will defile their medicine.

I'll stick my dick into the Amazon River until one of those candy rule fish injects its spines into my dick and I painfully have to rip it out.

And that is my promise to the American people.

That's my promise to the American people.

That he couldn't get his dick hard and a snake bit it.

And then he's like, wow,

that's the medicine.

That's the Lord's medicine right there.

And that's why he's still alive, by the way.

People don't know that.

If you ever got, like, what Blue Chew does is just a little piece of that venom.

He got it straight from the fucking source.

So he can't die until...

He's been hard since 93, and the only way he'll die is if his cock goes soft.

That's the only thing keeping him alive.

That's a cool idea for a movie, too, like a speed reboot, but you have to keep your dick hard.

Isn't that what Crank is about?

Well, you got to keep your heart beating.

Crank your cock.

Oh, blue chew diet.

Exactly.

Crank 3, just crank off.

Crank 3, beating off.

Yeah.

Well, crank 3, and he's got blue jews.

Yeah.

You have to keep taking them.

If I don't keep taking these dick pills, my dick will get soft.

Like, well, it's supposed to.

Most people's dicks are.

No.

That's right.

I think a grown mate is always supposed to have his dick hard.

I got a poison like a cock.

I've tried letting spiders bite my dick.

But the spiders got the wrong kind of venom.

They made my balls hard.

Six months ago, a bunch of baby spiders came out of my left nut.

My balls got hard.

My balls pointed straight out.

My balls unfolded.

My ball bag pointed straight out like a cartoon wolf's eyes when it saw a pair of tits.

Oh, yeah, Ambling.

And then my dick started pounding on the table.

This is what my dick does when I see a girl.

My balls come forward.

And your dick goes.

Bluechew.com, you can get the first chewables with the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.

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So, you know, you're Rod Stewart, you've already blown.

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You can still take that blue chew when you go, all right, boys, it's my turn.

Forever young.

I want to be forever young.

That's so much cum to just be sloshing around your stomach.

That's horrible, man.

That's too much.

It's too much, if you ask me.

That was a wrong forever young.

That was the Alpha Ville Forever Young.

Yeah.

The Rod Stewart one is forever young.

Oh, yeah, the Alpha one is so much better.

So let me drink your cum.

Let me live forever.

That's the one where he's with the little boy.

And I want to

Rod Stewart feel like I can't wait to

version of Barry Manilow.

They both have

a spiky style head.

Tougher Barry Manilow.

Barry Manilow is gay.

Barry Manilow is like Ratata.

And

fuck, which was the big fat rat?

Ratatat?

I want to call this strip club.

There's Rattata, and then there's Ratatat, right?

Ratatat, the

that the band?

Pidgey and Pidgeotto.

Pidgeotto.

How about that, you fucking idiot?

Well, Pidgey turns into Pidgeotto by taking Blue Chew.

That's right.

That's what a secret candy is.

Brock, we gotta get Pikachu's dickheart.

That's what the secret candies in Pokemon are.

They're Blue Chews.

Yeah, they're rare candies.

The rare candies.

Yeah.

Dickmander.

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Cockmuncher.

Cockmonker.

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As an 85-year-old man who has a podcast, I could not give a more full-throated endorsement.

Who are you doing?

Fred Thompson, that senator?

Yeah, maybe.

Oh, yeah, Fred Thompson, who was online.

He was an actor, too.

And then he tried to run for president.

He's a Republican.

There's a lot of guys that just sound like that.

Yeah, yeah.

That was like, well, I'm.

That sounded like Fred Thompson.

I'm a grown man now, so I guess I have to talk like this.

You know?

Yeah, mm-hmm.

I know, brother.

Blue Chew

gives you confidence in bed every time.

You and your partner will love it.

Or you can just take them for beating off.

Absolutely.

You know?

I love that shit.

I love it.

I like taking Blue Chew and then masturbating to the covers of books.

I don't even need pornography.

I'm a fucking sapiosexual, bitch.

Yeah.

I jack off to book covers.

I got bookmarks that I'm jacking off to.

A fucking candle.

Your tits do nothing for me, bitch.

Yeah, I don't even need that shit.

I'm going to be over here.

I'm jacking off to a semicolon.

I'm over here masturbating to the wainscoting.

Oh.

Just staring at the wall.

Like

one of the aliens in legend.

I am legend.

That's about vampires.

It's about one of the vampires in I Am Legend.

Aliens?

I don't know, man.

The monsters or something.

Chew it and do it.

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That's C as in Chinese.

U as in Ukrainian.

M as in Muslim.

T is in trans.

O as in Oriental.

W as in woman.

N as in.

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And we're back.

And we're fucking back

sucking off eight guys and drinking their cum

now my now my stomach's full of two leaders of semen sucking and i'm running guys for a living and i'm running

man i can't stop looking at these lovely ladies which website are you on their instagram page which is women with the mercedes logo tattooed on their breasts

these uh some of them have really ghastly.

Dude, I just want I want just to settle down with a just a

Dominican lady with a really shitty rose tattoo on her bust.

Oh my god, I would love to date a Dominican lady that was just verbally abusive to me all day long.

Yeah.

Call me stupid.

Say my dick is little.

Yeah.

That would be cool.

Tell them tell me that I'm not man enough.

I would love that.

Just to be demeaned

by

an apex.

That's what Nick needs, dude.

He really

you need a Dominican lady to yell at you, dude.

Yeah,

yeah, you don't have your priorities in line.

To be honest with you, I'll get pretty tired of that pretty quickly.

I know,

I know.

You would be like, shut the fuck up.

I really don't respond to that kind of shit very well.

Sucking off guys, dicks, cause I'm fucking gay.

Sucking off of man's penis because I'm gay.

Sucking off all of us.

Panic, where'd the dicks go?

Where are they?

Where are they?

Simon, chill out.

The room's still filled with dicks.

Oh, I had a nightmare that all the dicks were gone and I couldn't suck all of them in my band.

Panic, where'd the dicks go?

Ah, fuck.

So what do we do?

So at Strip Club.

In Edmonton.

In Edmonton?

Is that where we are?

Ottawa.

We do.

We go down to

the 7-Eleven where we just were.

We get

some biker meth.

Okay.

Some biker crank.

We get crank.

We get some crank.

And then we crank.

And then we go high voltage.

And then we just beat off our soft methamphetamine dicks

in the bathroom, obviously.

Can I be honest with you?

I like that a lot.

That's a great idea.

I love that idea.

Not busting.

We do not bust.

We have a code.

The Buster's Code.

I promise not to bust.

Our father

told me that if I become a Highlander, I am never a bad person.

Oh, yeah, we watched Highlander the other night.

If you want to live forever, you just can't beat off.

You have to come into my mouth.

Wait.

That's the fountain of

the movie's about a Spanish guy that goes around the world tricking guys into gay sex.

You have to understand, McCloud.

You're an immortal.

A Scottish guy pretending to be a menu.

A Scottish pretending to be where everyone else is.

Where are you from?

Ah, Egypt or Spain.

My name is Juan Carlos Desantes de Ramirez.

The only Scottish person in that movie, which is a movie about Scottish people, is playing an Egyptian

who is named Ramirez.

Named Ramirez.

Dude, Sean Connery playing a man named Juan Ramirez is so fucking awesome.

I would like it if that character becomes a day laborer later

in his Highlander

Immortal Life.

McCloud, because he's resurrected in Highlander 2.

Oh, he is.

He came back for that franchise?

He did.

It was a hit.

That's the only franchise other than Bond, or the only movie he starred in a sequel other than

wow.

Was it a hit?

Yeah, because he's a fucking Scottish retard, and he's like, we have to get our culture out there.

This is a Scottish culture, isn't it?

He's a guy playing with swords because he wants to live forever.

His wife was raped by

a monster from another planet.

From space of something.

A space alien who raped his wife.

And now he lives forever.

And I love how.

Why does he teach him?

Why is it?

Because

all the other Highlanders are chill.

They're all freaking out.

Everyone's nice to each other except

the Kurgan, who kills the rest of them, because there can be only one.

And the Kurgan's right.

Like, they all understand there's only supposed to be one of them because then, if you there's only one, you get the prize, which is eternal.

So, the Kurgan's the only one he's like, listen, we're supposed to be doing this.

Yeah,

he's a reasonable person.

But not necessarily.

If everyone just hangs out, gets pussy forever,

you get to get a bunch of like

the prize is your dick starts working again.

I use a medicine called Blue Chew that makes me

live forever.

Oh, it also will make you live forever.

It's a snake.

You'll have to let the snake bite the head of your dick off.

Off?

Totally off, Ramirez?

I think so.

I don't really know.

Do you know what happened to you?

Did your cock get bitten off by a snake?

I kind of want to call this drip club and see which ladies are working tonight and then see if we can get picks, maybe an IG for some of them.

Yeah, we should DM them.

Yeah, DM the chicks.

You know, I'm going to

be Shea Pierre later.

Hey, what's up?

Me and my boys are here staying in a college dorm.

We're about to podcast tomorrow.

Yeah.

But for the night, we're thinking about busting in our pants.

We're in town for podcasts.

Yes, is this a strip club?

My name is Ramirez.

I'm 3,000 years old.

And as a result, I would like to not pay.

No, I'm immortal.

So if I could come in there and maybe suck on the tits,

because in my country, Egypt,

you're allowed to do that.

My friend, my mentally retarded friend, McClaude, is going to be joining us.

I've never seen a pair of boobs before,

but maybe tonight I will see them and suck on them

so I can become a better actor.

Yeah, he's such a dog shit actor.

I can't wait to act in a movie.

It's It's me, Christopher Lambert.

Christopher Lambert.

He talks like a

little bit like a certain comedian in New York City.

Adam Friedland?

No.

He does talk like that.

The guy that Racine does talk about.

Yeah, I know Adam.

He does talk like that.

They have a similar affect.

I can't wait to go to the bathroom in Adam's mouth.

What is Christopher?

I'm a big fan.

Is that the guy whose balls you got in trouble for showing on Facebook?

Yep.

That's why you got banned from Facebook

for showing Highlanders fucking balls.

Zooming in on his nuts

and posting it on Facebook.

Yeah, you can see Chris relapping his balls, which in hindsight.

Yep, definitely.

Probably something you're getting thrown off Facebook for.

Showing a man's balls.

Just out of context.

It's not out of context.

I gave the context.

But I mean, like, I know, but just describing it.

The context is that I've seen that movie.

I watch it repeatedly when I was a kid.

Yeah.

And until I watched it on a 65-inch TV, I didn't realize I was just watching his balls as a young child.

Right.

Why was his balls out?

Was it a love scene?

Was he actually fucking a little bit of a ball?

No, yeah, he's actually fucking holding.

Really?

Yeah, he insists.

He's like, if we do the movie, this is my chance to have sex.

He was married to Diane Lane.

She's a piece of ass, dude.

Oh, he cheated on Diane Leigh.

Everyone fucked Diane Lee.

That's not true.

Don't say that.

I had to.

I have a big crush for her.

My thing was that I didn't fuck her.

He didn't fuck his own wife.

I've never answered her.

I used to jack off to her sex scene in Unfaithful with Richard Gere.

That Spanish guy that fucks her in the hallway.

Clancy Brown wouldn't come back for the Highlander sequel when they told him that it was like he was an alien or whatever.

Oh, the bad guy?

Yeah, he read the script and he's like, like, this is shit.

And then Christopher Lambert had to call him up to convince him to do the movie.

And he's like, Clancy, you have to do the movie.

And he's like, Chris, this is, the script is garbage.

I mean, the first script is incredibly stupid.

And he's like, it was my idea.

That's so fucking funny.

I was the one that wrote that.

How is that the guy they choose to be an action hero?

I said it at the live show.

It's because it's fucking Jean-Claude Van Dam.

Oh, right, right, right.

They found one

Franco,

one Francophile action star, and they were like, let's try, maybe we'll strike gold.

He was in Tarzan.

Maybe we'll strike gold and maybe we'll fill hole.

Oh.

Oh, big Josh.

The big dogs here.

Boys are back in town.

Yeah, and it's like in his old age, Christopher Lambert looks like Dana Carvey playing a guy with Down syndrome.

Yeah, he looks horrible.

Yeah.

A lot of forehead.

Well, he's a sort of cross-eyed.

He's got a five-head.

I'm going to call this strip club and see which sexy ladies are working tonight.

Christophe

Christophe, this is his full name.

Christophe Guy Denid Lambert.

Oh, Guy, as in.

Guy.

I'm Guy.

Christopher.

Hold on, guys.

Yeah, hey, don't do that.

Why not?

Why?

Well, because we're recording the phone call.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's illegal.

Yeah.

Is it?

Well, I'll just let them know.

Yeah, you can't.

I mean, well, you got to be.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I thought about the prank calls you do.

I don't know the law you can call it.

Yeah, what about drive time radio?

Don't they do prank calls?

That's all fake.

Every single one of those is produced.

Interesting.

Oh, really?

They didn't pick up.

Yeah.

Oh, boomer.

So I guess I'm just going to be

jacking off.

Jacking off.

You want mini strip for you, man?

I'll put on a wig and suck your dick and stuff to be a good friend.

No, I've read too much about this strip club.

I have to go.

you honestly need to jack off i'm gonna go dressed as a member of the canadian military who dresses a mountain let's give mounty uniforms and get get in for free wait hold on this bitch isn't french he's from great neck new york what that's where that's where my my uh car is from

that's crazy because you also give great neck

oh never mind he was just born there greatneck is a very nice suburb of new york city and long island

Greatneck.

Both of you give great.

Greatneck is where West Egg in the Great Gatsby is.

Is that where he has the parties?

That's where the new money town, as opposed to East Egg, which is old money.

The old, the good shit.

The good shit.

Tom, this is hilarious.

Lambert has profound myopia and cannot see without his glasses.

He cannot wear contact lenses and often has to act virtually blind, which has led to me.

Which has led to injuries while performing his own stuff.

He does sword fighting.

Yeah,

all of that.

He just didn't know how to, he couldn't see.

That's why the sword fighting scenes in Highland.

It's also why he looks cross-eyed the whole time.

Yeah.

I can't wait to see my wife for the first time.

How does this guy have a career?

Like, that's how just.

He's some blind French recap.

He can't even speak.

He can't talk.

He's not handsome.

He can't see.

But he's not a movie star handsome.

No, he's a novelist now.

He's written two books.

Oh, nice.

About what?

A book called La Phil Porte Boner.

No.

No.

La Fi Po La Fi Poit Poit Bonaire.

I don't know how to fuck.

I don't know.

La Fi, is that girl?

Yeah,

the girl who sells boners, I think.

Oh, okay.

And La Uga.

La Yuga.

I don't know.

La Huga.

Yeah, this is about a big pair of tits.

Oh, nice.

The girl.

I guess Port Bonaire is like pussy hole.

or

port for boners.

Mm-hmm.

You know, like any port in the storm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah.

There's a gay bar called Port in a Storm in Baltimore, and I think it's after the expression, he'll fuck any port in a storm.

I think they were like,

we'll get some straight guys that just wanted to get fuck some men.

Oh, I thought it was like a sailor thing.

Any port in the storm means you'll fuck anyone's ass.

Oh, any port in the storm, I would think, is like you have low standards.

Yeah, the storm is always going.

So it's a gay club for gay guys with very low standards.

I don't know, but it was called Port in a Storm, and I didn't know what it was.

And then I think my mom explained it to me, which is weird because my mom did not understand too many things

sexual-wise.

She was a very,

she was, she did, she was not of this culture, she didn't get the innuendos.

You know what?

Now I'm thinking about it, there's no way my mom knew about it.

Actually, yeah, it was a cool older guy from the neighborhood who took me there,

showed me around.

Any turd in an ass.

Any turd in an ass.

Is it about eating the turds or shitting them out?

A gay bar called I'll Fuck a Guy If I Don't Have Any Options.

The Last Resort.

The Last Resort would be

a great bar name.

Just do the trashy.

I'm sure there's a bar named The Last Resort.

It just sounds like a dive bar name.

Dick's Ass Resort.

There you go.

Oh, yeah, Dick's Last Resort.

Dick's Last Resort.

Yeah, but that place sucks.

That's all, like, they call you ugly and shit.

Hopefully, at the strip, can you imagine me going there?

It would be too much.

Yeah, they got to be like, wow, too easy.

I'd be like, shut up.

Don't say mean stuff.

Yeah.

That's fucked up.

I'm just going to, I want to hire severely disabled people.

Like, just at Dick's Last Resort.

No, like, do you get them on Craigslist, someone with like neurofibromatosis?

Oh, yeah.

And you bring them to Dick's Last Resort.

And then they just.

And then just watch the waiter.

You don't laugh at anything.

You just watch him as they.

Yeah, deal with this, schmuck.

Don't even say that.

Yeah.

You don't say it.

You say it with your fist.

No, you just sit down and you're like, yeah, I think we're good with water.

And they'll be like, wow, nice wheelchair.

Where'd you get it?

The junkyard?

And we're like,

I think we're ready to order to.

Oh, you don't even respond.

Oh, yeah.

I think we'll have the wings.

We'll have a burger.

Yeah.

I would go there and have them tell my wife I wanted a divorce.

That's good.

I'd write down some material for them on my wife, and I'd be like, whoa, what the fuck?

That's the mother of my children.

Mama Mia.

Mama Mia.

What's a good way to divorce your wife?

By gun.

At gun point.

Through gun kata.

By doing gun kata, like in equilibrium.

What's gun kata?

It's I don't know, it's karate with guns.

Oh, nice, dude.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Would you shoot the gun and it would instead of bang, it would say, I want to divorce, or would you threaten to kill her with a gun?

I don't know.

Maybe use fireworks or something.

Oh, yeah, it just spells out, I want to get divorced.

Yeah, divorced by skywriting.

Get a plane to write it out.

Sucking on hard ass dick for a living.

I'm a fucking gay man, and I'm gay.

I'm a fucking gay guy, and my penis looks like children.

Your penis looks like children.

No, no, no.

I'm a fucking guy.

And my dick is a size of children.

We gotta come up with a better backstory for the strip club than Podcaster.

Venture.

Saudi millionaire, Billy.

Saudi.

Yeah, we're fucking from Saudi Arabia.

We're fucking rich as as hell.

We're here for the oil.

I bet I could pass for a if you if you dressed me up if you give if you gave you a uh what do you call it a kefiya or whatever

yeah if i wore that white dress or whatever if you wore the dress and then and the cool scarves yeah the checker thing you know if it's red if you've been on hajj to mecca and it's black and white if you haven't been there yet oh really yeah that's how you know what if you do anal what color is it um Oh, it's like a hanky coat.

Yeah, it's like the hanky coat.

In like old game culture.

Yellow.

Not piss.

Yellow, yep, yellow.

Brown for

wolf.

Brown for Greek.

Yeah, Greek.

Brown if you do Greek.

I love that we got that, dude.

You got what?

Greek.

Yeah,

yeah.

Yeah, that's the

slang

for your culture.

I've never heard that.

Oh, dude, that's like a stereotype.

Greek people fuck in the ass.

Well, they invented it.

We didn't.

Well, they say it

on

ads on Craigslist for prostitutes.

They say, no Greek.

No Greek.

Yeah.

Which is not there anymore because of Sesta Fosta or whatever.

Yeah, how are you supposed to get a whore these days?

You have to do it the old-fashioned way on the streets, going up to every single woman you see until one of them is a prostitute.

Did we ever tell that story about Eric?

Nick?

What story?

No, Nick's looking at his phone.

What are you looking at?

We were on the train, and there was this girl.

We were like, I guess, drunk.

And there was this girl who's clearly

selling pussy.

Selling pussy.

And my friend just thought she was a hot girl.

And he was like, what's up?

You fucking partying or what?

Like, what's going on?

What's up tonight?

He had no idea.

She was soliciting a prostitute.

We were like, that's a professional.

Wait, how do you know that?

Nick and I were pretty sure that she was.

She was just on the train?

Yeah.

She was titties out?

Yeah, her ass and titties were out.

She looked pretty cool.

Yeah, she was completely naked.

She was naked.

Pay her to have sex?

No, he didn't.

But he just didn't.

Yeah, it was a very funny interaction.

He was trying to holler at her?

Yeah, he was.

It was pretty funny.

We're on the train going to the West Village.

Damn, dude, that's got to be t just fucking strangers.

What do you mean?

Being a prostitute seems bad.

Yeah, that's they're they need protections.

That's our opinion.

We should become pimps.

No, not benevolent dude.

Benevolent pimps.

Yeah, but like.

Yeah, excuse me.

All my sex workers.

All my sex workers is unionized.

I want all y'all bitches to unionoise.

That's my bottom bitch.

That's my foreman.

Yeah, that's...

Oh, fuck.

Oh, you spilled water.

I'm going to spill water all over the place.

Well, what's up?

Y'all bitches got health care.

Get y'all pussies chick.

Yeah.

You got Bennies?

All my bitches got Bennies.

You feel like sick still or no?

I think I'm getting out of it.

Yeah.

You guys are now getting too sick for the strip club?

I'm just going to bust you.

I'm not going to the strip club, man.

I hate to break it to you.

Yeah, no one was actually ever going to the strip club.

I think you were serious, but I was not going.

I was doing it as a bit, obviously.

I wasn't going to go.

You've been doing this for an hour prior to the podcast.

Well, it was a long bit.

It was a two-hour bit where I was joking around about how I want to go to a strip club.

All right, well, go to the strip club.

Hold on.

We got a show today

coming out.

Yeah.

This is our last show, so if you're hearing this on Wednesday,

buy tickets and see us and get Hedmonton.

And then also come see

July 2nd.

I am doing a show called Fat Tuesdays.

It'll be every Tuesday at the stand.

That a boy.

Please come out to that, motherfucker.

I'm trying to, I'm going to have that be working on you stuff.

It'll be fun.

Have really good lineups.

Tuesday will be Gary Goldman, Sam Murrill, Ruby Blotnick, Yamanika Saunders, Real Murderous Row.

That's a great lineup.

That's a great lineup.

Trying to start off with a bang.

And then July 8th, Funny Mom Returns.

So come on and come out.

We're back in the

trap.

We're back in the trap.

And then there should be some dates.

Stay, watch this space.

We're going to have some dates coming up hopefully in the fall.

Domestic dates.

We're trying to come see our little sluts in the U.S.

We do realize, you know, we have been to other countries.

We have two different countries.

but we haven't really treated our own country.

And that's kind of been a protest against the Trump administration.

I think militarism and our role.

American, how we're sending bombs all over the country.

We want to send laughs.

That's true what I mean.

That's so true.

You know what I'm saying?

That's why we've done international.

We're doing Iraq next.

Right.

Nick, you're done with this.

I thought you were doing plot, boy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so that's it.

We'll see you if you're in Headmonton tomorrow.

Headminton.

Good night.

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