Ep. 146 – Did we kill bam
Or did bam kill us?
Listen and follow along
Transcript
Today, we're exploring deep in the North American wilderness among nature's wildest plants, animals, and
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Check, check.
Pussy, pussy.
You're listening to W-N-I-G-G-E-R-F-A-G.
The sweet sounds of Cincinnati's finest
jazz.
That's not the radio station.
I'm sorry.
You've worked here for 40 years.
You gotta stop saying
HR's on our asses.
I'm sorry.
I've said it wrong again.
It's WKRQ.
Suck my dick because my dick is small.
I believe my dick's small.
I believe my dick's small.
I believe
my dick's way too fucking small.
My penis doesn't even reach my bones.
Did you see that?
It's not like I even have a bones.
And my bones are also small.
My balls are small.
But it doesn't even reach my balls.
It doesn't reach my balls.
And my balls are also small.
That's a good one.
That one is good for me, folks.
All right, good night.
That ought to do it.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
We're not topping my balls.
I believe my dick's small.
My peak is small.
Oh, guys, I got some medical news today.
What's that?
I kind of want to make an announcement to my fans.
Go ahead.
Before they hear anything in the media.
Yeah, we already heard the song about you.
We just did it.
No,
it's not about the small things.
It's not the earth.
The doctor says that's not a medical issue.
So that I can still peek.
Can you at least use the electric things?
Can you use that?
That's
where you go clear.
Will that have my dick bigger?
Please use the paddles.
Please use the ones you use on mice when they have that problem.
Clear.
It's still fucking too small.
The dick stuff is.
I have been diagnosed with medical-grade dandruff.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Medical.
You got that.
I got dermatitis.
Hold on.
Let me pause you right there.
I have had horrific dandruff my whole life.
My shit is always fucking shedding or whatever.
Do not give a fuck.
Never have cared once.
Really?
Does it hurt your head or something?
Yeah, my head isn't.
My head is in shitty.
Yeah, my head is scabby and itchy and shitty.
And so I said, you know what?
I'm ready for the frontier.
No, no, that's not true.
I will not go quietly into that good night.
Ma'am,
would you mind sucking my hair?
I'm going to fight this.
I'm not sitting on my head, ma'am.
Ma'am, would you mind lubricating my scalp with that awful pussy of yours?
That's a good Arthur, man.
Well, I played a lot of the game.
Well, ma'am, these fellers bothering you.
So I had to
have.
I'm trying to have gay sex, Micah.
I got to get.
Does anyone play online?
I thought it was going to be a thing for a second.
I think there's an online beta out.
Yeah.
Oh, that's you
cucks.
That's very nice.
Is that when you go online?
Yeah.
I'm waiting for the online alpha.
Alpha.
But yeah, no, I've just been playing story mode.
But someone DM'd me and said that if I haven't been doing the side missions, there's a point in the game where it's like, I'm completely fucked.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Which is why would they make them fucking side missions?
You have to do all the side missions?
And you can't go back and do them.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You got to do all of them.
Or, like, before.
Yeah, which side visions haven't you done you've just been doing story only yeah oh that's you're stupid that's not how you play a rock star game that's why i have all the clothes and millions of dollars that is true you have all literally all the you have millions of dollars and i've done nothing i have like four thousand dollars i have way less than that yeah i did you really can't make money you can't really make money yeah
i thought i felt pretty rich off that 4g's do you have all the cool custom weapons no yeah i got the viking axe i wear the pig mask with the Viking axe yeah that shit's not how do you get the pig mask I can't even keep a hat it's in like the redneck village they got a pig mask
my hat just blows off my head constantly the rednecks they put it on they go look at me
I'm I'm Cat Barbadoro I'm mad about something
no I'm saying they the rednecks do that they do that they do that in the case I wouldn't do something yeah yeah yeah what no that's fucking me I'm friends with her I wouldn't do something like thatnecks mean rednecks.
Is that how they, like, how Bonnie McFarlane was a character in the other rednecks?
Yeah, exactly.
That's the same thing.
Yeah, no, I mean, they just by you.
Oh, oh, I'm not talking about
our friend Cav.
No, I meant the character in the game that just happens to have the same name as a female comedian.
All right.
They did do that to Bonnie, though, did they?
There literally was a Bonnie McFarlane in the first Red Lake.
Rich was like, they put my girlfriend in Space Invaders.
My wife's name
is in the Nintendo Mario.
The The new Mario came out.
She's in the TV.
We should do a Rockstar.
We got a holler at Rockstar.
I was about to do like a playthrough one time with Soder, but I was on the road.
Let's do a Come Town Rockstar playthrough.
Yeah, I auditioned for actually Red Dead.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I almost got it, but Taylor Ketchum went in after me and did a better job.
And he got it.
I mean, that man is a Red Dead character just walking in.
Like right now.
I know.
I went in and I did it, and the casting director or whoever was there was like, that was great You're probably too short though, and I'm like it's a video game.
It's a voiceover It just fucking cropped me bigger
What's that possible?
Are you serious?
Yeah, the guy told me I was too short
to be a voice in a video game.
What
Taylor isn't even that tall.
He's bigger than Nick.
Yeah, he's a big guy.
Dude, the cutoff is six foot.
If you're under six foot, you got to be good at podcasting.
If you're over six foot, NBA.
Well, hey, life's fucking easy street for you, bro.
It really is.
And
I'm going to, when I hear of your cancer diagnosis, go,
I'm so sorry to hear about it.
Yeah, you'll do a really good joke about it on the group text that we have.
I think three deaths have been announced on that group text.
And I just run away and just come through with a zinger immediately.
I leave it in your cancer diagnosis, and then I run away
at full speed through a series of tables.
Just catch me now.
You're going to know where to go.
Yeah.
Damn.
Well, I heard that you don't even make that much for voiceovers for video games.
Like, the guy that did Uncharted, Nathan, whatever, the guy
who played Nathan,
whatever the character's name is.
Like,
he was at a con or something.
He's like, yeah, I have to keep doing this because
I got paid like five thousand dollars.
No way,
something like that.
I don't even know.
Adam is low-key playing video games and looking up like convention footage to like see what the stars of the games are up to.
He's a secret gamer, he doesn't want anyone to know.
I can't wait to see a full gamer here.
Adam's buying like the prestige Halo 3 package where you get the outfit of the Halo guy.
The game comes in like a full suit of body armor.
God, shout out Master Chief Getting hit from Cortana.
Master Chief Billy Sunday.
That's the character's name, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I love playing Halo as Billy Sunday.
I am gay.
Billy Sunday's what?
I don't know.
I've never played that game.
Men of Honor was my favorite movie when I was like.
With Robert De Niro and Cuba Goody Jr.
What?
What movie?
It's about diving?
It's about diving.
When I was in
the sixth grade, who's dive, and the name is like, you can't dive, boy.
When I was in sixth grade, I saw that, and I was like, this is my favorite movie.
This is the best movie I've ever seen.
In the last scene, he has to put on like the fucking old school diving kit, which costs, which weighs like a thousand pounds.
He has to stand up.
Yeah, he has to stand up in it because his leg got shredded by an anchor.
Yeah.
So they have to reconstruct his leg, and then he has to stand up and court, and he's like crying.
Jesus Christ.
Robin Nero is like, you know, get it, boy.
Come on, boy.
Show them what you can do, boy, boy.
Is he using his Cape Fear accent?
Yeah,
I think it's a Southern De Niro.
Southern De Niro.
I can out-read you.
I can outsmart you, Counselor.
One of the best De Niros.
Italians pretending to be Southern is so funny.
Yeah.
You could just be Italian.
To make it like the scary thing about his character is that he read a lot of books in prison.
He knows about
Cervante.
I can't even name an author.
Yeah, no, he goes to the Descartes.
Yeah, he's like, I saw him in the library reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Frederick Niichi Chi.
Niichi.
Can you believe that?
What's his name?
Joe Don Baker.
That's the guy.
Something, what's Zarathustra?
That sounds cool.
That's a Nietzsche book.
Is it Zarathustra?
Did he ever write stories or was it all philosophy?
Nietzsche?
yeah, he wrote a couple.
He wrote a couple like software.
He wrote Who Framed Roger Rad.
Oh, really?
That fucked up, dude.
I knew that was some heavy shit, dude.
That shit, I was thinking about that for fucking weeks after I saw that shit.
Well, the toons are basically, and a lot of people will deny this, but they're Jews.
And, you know, a lot of people want to say that that's not what he was implying.
No, the toons are black people.
The toons are Jews.
No, Toontown.
And they pretend to be victims.
Okay.
You can't really.
You need a special chemical to erase them.
Oh,
they can't die.
I don't know what chemical.
I don't know.
I was trying to synthesize three different things.
The Holocaust, Nishi, and who framed Rawdon.
It was a high concept.
Was Nishi anti-Semitic?
A lot of people will say no, but I like to say yes.
He was.
I don't know if he was anti-Semitic.
I know that he was Sef.
Basically, every German.
An Semitic?
Yeah.
Every German raw dogging back then.
Yeah, he went crazy from STD.
Every German from the Enlightenment until the death of Adolf Hitler was anti-Semite.
Really?
Every single one.
The second Hitler died, they all switched teams.
Well, yeah, I mean, but that was the death of Germans doing anti-Semitism.
Damn.
Yeah, but for 200 years, unchecked.
Now they get really mad when you call them anti-Semitic.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're like, you can't, like, don't, aren't there laws against saying the harmless.
Oh, shit, I was wrong.
Once again.
Oh, yeah.
What?
They said that the madness of Nietzsche was cancer, not syphilis.
I thought he just said bipolar disorder.
It's so funny.
All these people that we think were smart were just mentally ill.
Yeah.
Like, in Greece, the Oracle of the Delphi or whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
It's like they would go tell the future and they would see like crazy shit and there was just a gas leak in that cave.
Yeah.
And they were straight up huffing gas and hallucinating shit and being like, yep, this is the future.
Was the oracle a day them?
Yeah.
Was it him?
Yeah, they had a pussy and a dick at the same time.
Oh, intersex.
Because of all the gas.
How about a horacle?
She can see who she's going to fuck.
It's just whoever's in front of her.
You see the future in her pussy.
Whoa.
Damn.
That would be awesome.
That would be pretty.
Would she have a crystal ball in her pussy?
Would you part the lips and a little crystal ball would be there?
There would be just an outpouring of golden light.
Kind of like the suitcase in pulp fiction.
Oh, hell yeah.
What was in that damn suitcase?
That's what I want to know.
I'll tell you what was in it.
That picture of Adam with the hair picture.
Yeah.
Damn.
You should bring that look back.
The Bob.
That was so funny.
That would be awesome.
When you were trying to grow your hair out for some reason.
Yeah, I wanted to see if it looked good.
I mean, that's what anyone does when they grow their hair out.
It's to see if it looks good.
And then you have spent a year doing it, and you're like, it does not look good.
And then you go get a haircut.
Elders had a nice mane going for a while.
Yeah, it looked nice.
It was hilarious.
He looks good with a Kramer, though.
He looks good.
He does look good with a Kramer.
The tall hair.
I'm going to get plugs, dude.
I would love you to get plugs and just
slap your weaves like a lady working at McDonald's.
Long-ass fingernails press on fingernails.
That is correct.
Yeah, I'll probably get plugs and then I'll get that bone crushing surgery
with long shins.
To make yourself taller.
Mm-hmm.
Or I'll start wearing lifts.
Yeah.
Lifts my shoes.
That's my midlife crisis.
Was there a comic that wears lifts?
There is, and you can't say his name on the show, or he'll threaten to sue you.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Well, we'll do that to Bobby's podcast.
Really?
We'll let our intrepid
made fun of him for running Bringer shows on Bobby's podcast.
Oh, I know who that is.
Yeah, I know what we're talking about.
He was like, Yeah, I've got a lawyer
for pointing out the things I do in real life.
That's slander.
Listing the things I do.
Forget Liz, if you were just walking around in big red high-heeled shoes,
that would be a hilarious move.
Yeah, that would be sick.
That would be like, what are you talking about?
I'm tall.
I'm tall.
I'm 6'2 ⁇ .
Just women's 6-inch heels.
Women's strippers to let us.
Women's high-heeled shoes.
Or big, like, fucking, like, what was that, like, candy goth look?
Remember that?
When there was like the goths would also have like rainbow clown hair and the girls with like the huge platform shoes?
Yeah, like
almost
like scene kids.
No, it's pre-scene, in between scene and goth.
Huh.
The forerunner to scene?
Yeah, because like scene, I think the real delineation between scene and goth
is the proliferation of emo music because a lot of goths just listen to industrial.
Yeah, that's right.
Like that.
Yeah, and then jungle.
Drum and bass.
DMB.
That's what our friend, our British friend, used to DJ.
I love jungle.
Jungle, drum and bass.
Drum and bass.
I was a DJ in Barcelona.
No, but then what separates them is the scene kids had hair like fucking like all the guys in like fucking Guns N' Roses cover bands.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, a modern take on that.
Yeah, those like Hollywood
sunset strip guys.
You know what?
That's such a bad style.
That's the era I should have been in, baby.
You know how people say they're an old soul and they wish they were born like the 30s.
I wish I was on the Sunset Strip, dude.
Wearing a mesh tank top, bleached blonde hair.
Rock and roll.
Live forever, dude.
We're going to go see
shitty fucking hair bands.
Yeah.
Striper.
Yeah.
Rat.
Rat.
They had some good ones.
I never liked hair metal.
There's not a single hair metal band.
I really did, honestly.
I had a phase where I liked.
When I went to Greece.
I went to Greece, and
I think I was into boy bands
like Spice Girls and fucking Backstreet Boys and shit when I was like a little kid.
And then I went to Greece and my cool ass cousin Leonida had metal.
And so I was like, oh, tell him to fucking be into metal.
Yeah.
And I was just so into like fucking...
I remember I had a Quiet Riot CD that I would listen to.
Does Quiet Riot count?
Come on, feel the nausea.
Does Quiet Riot count his hair metal?
I think so.
It was stadium rock, man.
Yeah.
Really?
You think you would say so?
I mean, I like Guns N' Roses and shit like that.
Like early Guns N' Roses.
Ooh, Motley Crew.
That was my shit as well.
Yeah.
Vince Neal, shouts out.
No, I never liked Motley Cross.
I didn't even really like Quiet Riot.
I just like to come on, Feel the Noise.
Right.
Well, I had.
And a couple other gyms.
Mental health.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What was the one
the Rock of Love guy was in?
Poison.
Poison.
You know, I didn't like Poison that much, but I got to say, I love Rock of Love.
That's a good show.
It's all back on TV now.
It's on Amazon Uncensored.
We discussed this, I think, last almost.
He wears that headband because he's bald, right?
It has to be.
I think it's style.
You think it's style?
What's Amazon Uncensored?
You can see, like, Jeffrey Tambourg's penis tucked into his leg.
It's a lot of shots.
It's like, does this look good tucked?
Can you see my penis when it's tucked like this?
Yeah, you get to see the deleted scenes where he's sexually harassing all the women in the workplace.
All the trans women he forcibly sucked off.
I think he just hugged them to I just want to know the character, I just want to understand what the character's motivations are.
Please let me hug you.
Hank, shouts out, Hank Kingsley,
one of the best fucking characters of all time.
Truly, I don't even know what Jeffrey Tanborg sounds like.
He's got like a deep, dopey voice.
Is it like that?
No, not quite.
Hank's voice was like that, but
you're doing, you're doing
what's this thing?
Fucking
Raven's brother.
Raymond's brother.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, Brad Garrett.
It's almost spring, dude.
I know.
I was walking all along the city this last couple days.
I am not looking forward to summer.
I might vacation in like Antarctica or something.
No, dude.
Summer sucks.
What the fuck?
Fuck that shit, dude.
The summer sucks, ass.
No, it's good.
No, I like the winter.
You should move to Iceland.
I'm going to Russia.
I'm going to spend
the summer in Siberia.
Is it even hotter there?
Is it?
Don't Don't they have like a wild-ass fluctuation or some shit?
Because
the further north you get, the closer you get to the sun.
Yeah, exactly.
The more up you get, the closer you get to the sun.
Everyone knows that.
True.
Yeah.
Did you see Bill Nye endorsed AOC?
Oh, yeah.
So she's officially canceled.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You want some gay-ass scientist to endorse you?
No way, dude.
Some fucking gay ass.
What does that mean, endorsement?
Like, he's like, I think the Congresswoman from the Bronx and Queens is good.
Forget Queens.
He rubbed a balloon against her head.
And it's just static.
And
held his penis maybe
an inch from her nipple until she shocked everything up.
Yeah, that's how he decides.
That's how Bill Nye endorses
a political candidate.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Only the worthy shock his penis.
She better endorse Bernie Sanders or I'm going to fucking
ride in the the streets.
Yeah, a one-man line.
Antifa.
Yes.
Me and Jake Flores.
Me and Jake Flores just going around fucking shoving people.
Jake's the antifux.
It's so funny.
Right, right, yeah.
Cause the.
Yeah, like
when you set a telephone booth on fire, it's basically like, you know, reading a book or voting.
You know, why don't we do something with telephone booths?
They're out there still.
They did.
Did they turn them in those Link NYC things?
Oh, is that what those are?
You can make calls on those, apparently.
I wanted a little changing booth or a bidet.
Yeah, to turn it.
That's a Superman.
Public bidets.
A public bidet.
Those who just get shit in immediately.
But think about the two weeks where they're not, and we all have minty clean assholes.
It wouldn't even be two weeks.
It'd be two hours.
I've never used a bidet.
The entire time we used to do it.
Well, I thought we were all not doing it.
No, we were all
raving about it.
Talking about how it was the best part of the entire shit, the robot sucking your asshole.
Yeah, and how I put on the pussy setting to blast my ball.
Me too, yeah.
I put the gooch to tickle my gooch.
That's the rich ball.
That sounds fucking awful.
No, it's nice.
It feels delicious.
I hate it when my dick or balls are ever wet.
What?
That's the worst feeling in the world.
That's honestly one of the best feelings.
You don't like getting your dick wet.
No,
I hate it.
I love to fuck sand.
Nick fucking swims with a condom on.
Fuck bags of rice.
I love that shit, dude.
Uncooked rice.
Nick fills up magnums with rice and then goes swimming to keep his dick dry.
Silica packets on his nuts.
I love that shit.
I'm being a dry dick rando.
You never know what I'm going to say next.
A dry dick rando.
I could say something wild next.
You have no idea.
It's just another day in the life.
dry your dick is?
Another day in the life of being a dry dick, Rando.
Well, I'll tell you what, folks.
What's up?
I've been doing a little betting lately.
Really?
No, not really.
Well, I have.
No, but my friends have.
At betsi.com.
Such a good website.
B-E-T.
Does she
implicate you?
M-Y-D.
Does she tattle?
Do she
stands for?
I don't know.
Do the bitch
in interrogation.
Do the bitch.
Hold on.
Yeah, DSI stands for do the bitch tattle.
It doesn't even have the light.
Fellas, if you're like me, you're tired of all these trifling ass hoes going around sleeping with hundreds of guys
and then
trying to sneak on you some accusation bullshit.
This is sponsored by Bet DSI.
You just read this opinion.
Sponsored by Bet DSI.
Bet MRA, Bet D.
Would a bitch go to.
This is copy they emailed us.
When detectives show up at my house and they say, remember us?
And it's like, you know, oh, I know everybody down at the SVU.
These trifling bitches would be doing this to me.
Uh-huh.
And you can.
If you're one of those guys.
If you're one of these kind of fellas, you're a gambling man.
It takes a real gambling man to play those odds.
To play the odds of the dating game out there.
Just correct.
That's why you got to go to betsi.com.
Calling a committing rape the dating game.
All of this, by the way, again, sorry, this is Bet DSI's.
Betthsi.com.
Yeah, this is not my opinion.
This is not my feelings.
Betsi.com is is the premier sports book betting website.
They've been in business over 20 years.
What?
Yeah, one year for every
fucking
20 of them.
Yep.
That's true.
20 years, 20, that's two decades, folks.
That's so true.
And, you know, think about that.
20 years ago, what was that?
The 1980s?
These guys,
it was like there were computers.
Yep.
It hadn't even been invented.
It was green.
All the screens were green.
All the screens were green, dude.
Everybody was living in Vice City.
Yes, pastels.
Fucking loafer, white loafers.
Wearing white loafers going around Miami, you know, picking up whores and killing them.
And the lowrider you stole from a Latino.
That's when Bet DSI came up.
That's what the founders were doing before this website.
You would have to load the website from a tape.
And so they've been in business 20 years paying out winners.
Oh, yeah.
You better fucking win.
Paying off winners.
If you win, they'll bring your son to their house and they'll pay him off.
Oh, yeah.
He's not allowed to tell you what happened there.
But you can count on it.
That they will pay off those winners.
They got a mobile app.
They got an award-winning app.
24-7.
24-7 customer service.
You call them up.
4 a.m.
You call them up 4 a.m.
My dick hurts.
Yeah, my penis is.
My penis hurt.
My penis is so bad from the website.
Why, my penis is so bad.
Yeah, if you beat your cock off too much looking at any website,
you can feel free to call Mend DSI and complain about it.
And then you'll be connected immediately with a customer service representative.
And you could tell them, My penis hurt too much.
And they'll do something about it.
Absolutely, they will.
I can't promise you what it will be.
As long as it's something.
It could be hanging up on you.
It could be hanging on.
But hey, so you will have something will have happened.
You will be able to access their 24-7 customer service.
Think about all the really cool businesses that are open 24-7.
That's a real sign of
7-Eleven.
No shady stuff going on there.
That's a good business to go to.
Absolutely.
Nothing bad's ever happened at 7-Eleven.
No.
Bob Evans.
Bob Evans is an open 24-7.
Well,
I stand correct.
I guess it's just 7-Eleven.
Some McDonald's.
Bet DSI.
Bet DSI.
It's really just 7-Eleven and Bet DSI.
And you can bet on that, folks.
Oh, yeah.
In fact, we're betting on stuff right now.
Yeah, we're betting on.
I've decided the Lakers are making the playoffs.
Oh, yeah, you think so?
Andre Ingram just got picked up from the G League.
That's right.
The better of the Ingrams in the Lakers organization.
Brandon Ingram's dad.
Literally, I think it is a relative of his.
I think it's like an uncle or something.
No way.
I'm pretty sure.
No.
Maybe wrong.
But yeah.
You can bet also on
the
Champions League.
Soccer Champions League.
Man U.
Man Yu made it through.
BPSG in the second leg.
I say Man Yu.
I haven't been following soccer at all this year.
They also have live in-game wage rings.
You can change your mind.
That's the thing that's such a good feature, I often forget about it.
I have to forget
natural and that's how tight Bet DSI is.
They have so many features.
They offer so much tight shit that I forget about it until we're almost done talking about the things that are happening.
Monster Jam's coming up.
Oh, shit.
You can bet on that.
Bet on which is the most racist truck.
Where does Monster Jam go?
MSG?
No, I doubt they're in the city.
No.
Got to go out to the Nassau Coliseum?
There's no way to land maybe?
There's no way Trump would allow that in his city.
God damn it.
There's no way he would allow a truck that's bigger than him
anywhere
somewhere.
Okay, so when you sign up, make sure you use promo code CUM120 so they know we sent you.
Oh, yeah.
That's C-U-M-120.
A lot of people don't know that.
So when you sign up, you've got some options.
You can just play and cash out, or you can take the bonus money, which is like getting a casino comp up front before you've played at the tables.
It used to be more than 120, right?
Some.
Yeah, there's a rollover requirement, but it's free cash.
So if you're going to be in the sports book, which is where we like to get it.
You love gambling there.
We love it, dude.
I love hanging out.
We love it.
I hang out at the sports book.
I fucking post up against the wall and I say, the thing I like about these preschool girls
is that they
love having having sex with them.
That's the line.
Did you say that at the sports book?
At the sports book, where we hang out.
I haven't heard you say that at the sports book.
Well, I'm there all the time.
I'm doing the character from the movie.
Oh, Matthew McCaugh.
Yeah, the Matthew McConaughey character.
From days of the day.
Oh, right.
That's the classic line.
What are you girls up to?
You're trying to fuck?
Put together some blocks.
You're trying to have sex with an adult?
The classic Matthew McConaughey line.
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Let's start the show.
Let's start the show, doggy.
Let's start the fucking show, bitch.
All right, doggies.
While we're doing plugs, come see us in D.C.
soon at
the 30th.
Two shows.
One stand-up show at 8 p.m.
One live podcast at 10 p.m.
Separate shows.
Buy tickets to one, buy tickets to both.
We'd love to see you there.
It's at the historic Black Cat.
The Black Hat, D.C.
We have to sell a lot of tickets, and we hope we have the ability to do that.
Some of your favorite punk bands have played there.
It's a punk rock legendary venue.
That's where
Charlotte played.
That's right.
That's one.
Yellow card.
Yellow card player.
Turd Charlotte.
Okay.
Sorry.
Holy shit.
Turd Charlotte.
They didn't even rhyme.
One of them is married to Cameron Diaz.
What?
I think so.
Cameron Diaz?
I really believe so.
From the mask?
Yeah, dude.
She's a fucking fox.
I love her.
We love her.
We love her, don't we, folks?
Oh, yeah.
Big Cameron Diaz fan.
I watched that movie, Drew Barrymore Never Been Kissed Last Night.
Kiss me.
Pretty fucked up movie.
Kiss my little digital.
She's like,
she's flirting with the teacher the whole time, and he's falling in love with her, and then he finds out that she's not a student, and he feels betrayed.
Hilarious.
And he doesn't ever feel...
He's never like, oh, great.
I can feel like you're not.
Thank God I don't want to fuck a child.
No, he's like, you watch me.
Really?
Yeah, it's a weird movie.
It's a weird movie.
Yeah.
Does she make out with any children?
She makes out.
Well, there's like one scene where it's like, oh, she's about to molest.
but then her brother played by David Arquette
in his 1-800 CALL ATT prime.
You know, this is 90s Arquette, and he was really killing the game.
He, because he used to be a great high school baseball player, also goes back to high school.
And then he starts coaching.
No, no, like to pose as a student because he just wants to go back to party.
And it's kind of implied he's fucking.
It's not explicit.
That's some wild shit, dude.
I'm sorry, I missed all of that.
I was looking at something on the internet.
What were you looking at?
I can't say yet.
Okay.
Is it a secret?
I got to check this call.
No, you don't.
This is absolutely not.
I apologize.
You do not have to take this call.
I think he does.
Who is it?
I'm getting.
He picks it up.
You've been selected for an entry.
He's like, guys, you'll never believe it.
I got a free fucking call.
I'm going to cruise.
I got to cruise.
This is your captain speaking.
Press one to be connected with one of our first mates.
What percentage of people do you think falls for that?
It's low, but it's got to be a couple.
No, it's just old people.
I did to call Chase Bank the other day.
I dialed one number wrong.
I got another
place that's like, thank you for calling the bank.
And it's like,
please enter your credit card number.
That's incredible.
Yeah.
The whole business is is just preying on the old people with bad eyesight.
I love it, dude.
Damn.
Yeah, yeah.
Salute.
Salute to the opportunistic out there.
Who is that, Adam?
It was my daddy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just nothing important.
He did his big surgery.
I talked to her before
I came here.
I said, I'm going to do the podcast.
Then he called, and I thought it was some sort of emergency, but it wasn't.
It was about something he saw in Huffington Post.
They're saying I'm gay.
There's an article on here that's.
And then he starts reading it to me, and I'm like, we're recording right now.
And he's like, well, then you go.
You go.
What was the article about?
About how Americans
don't want to vote?
He's really taking advantage of those emergency phone call privileges.
He really is.
He really is.
You should let him know that.
Text first.
He knows that too.
He understands.
Texting.
That must be nice.
I don't think my father can read.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess he can read.
I don't know if my dad can read it.
I don't think he can finish.
What is Greek?
That's just like fake.
It's like deltas, gammas, yep.
Alpha.
It's kind of
an army style
language.
Epsomato alphabet.
His dad's just like delta gamma
lima
golf spider, India.
Zonic
Whiskey
That's just the whole language you guys jacked up for Whiskey Cavalier
ones in the FBI ones in the CIA okay with each other yeah and they suck each other's oh I saw the the the fucking trailer for that's just some some TV show oh TV show it's like a weird procedural that's like, who is still watching this shit?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Every show on CBS is named after a branch of the government.
NCIS.
There's like an FBI.
I think they just started FBI.
Really?
Yeah.
Can I be honest?
It did take a while to get an FBI show.
I think they've had them before, but I think that they've just gotten less and less creative with the names.
I think Burn Notice might have been FBI.
I never watched that.
Burn Notice, he's a CIA?
He's a former CIA.
Yeah.
What do they call them, spooks?
Spooks.
Yeah.
Because they're black.
No, it's not.
Yeah, because it's an old
racial slate.
Don't they seriously call them that?
I think they call them spooks, but I also do know that that was like a 1950s racial slate.
Interesting.
Well, that's interesting because you're racist dressed like ghosts.
It's true.
It doesn't seem to make sense.
They were like, it's time to spook back, boys.
Spook back the night.
It's time to be scary.
Time to be spooky.
Oh, fuck.
I got pissed real bad.
You could piss in that Dunkin' Donuts.
Just pet your cups.
No, I guess I could piss in that Dunkin' Donuts cup that Adam's using.
Just beer pins.
Yeah, pissing Adam Dunn.
No, I finished the water first.
I finished drinking my glass of water.
What are cup?
The hard R.
That's the answer.
Water,
hard R.
That's the question and the answer.
Are you hearing this music outside?
No.
Someone's playing Dulcet Salsa.
Dulcet Salsa.
Kind of like more like she funny?
Banda.
Yeah, she's a good comment.
She writes for Salsa and Minaj.
Damn, you're really going in on Volvo.
No,
they already figured out who that is, by the way.
Oh, I don't care, dude.
I would go in on her, but she's apparently like 12.
Is she?
Yeah, she's like
20 years old, so nice.
Who gives a shit about her?
I'm biding my time.
For what?
For the real, just the real dragon.
Adam take over.
He can't take anything.
He can't
say
with his body type, just a 20-year-old college student, female college student.
Yeah, she's in my weight class.
Yeah, she is in your weight class.
Well, the dragging is coming for everybody.
Yeah, everyone's coming.
All of the people that have been doing the dragging will get draught.
Except for us.
Nothing bad will ever happen now.
No, absolutely not.
We'll be protected forever
because we voted for Bernie Sanders.
Daddy will protect us.
Because I like the idea of universal health care,
and I think people should be paid more than $4 an hour
and
protected from any claim of being a bad guy.
Which, for the most part, I am.
Daddy Bernie.
I hope you save us, Daddy Bernie.
Have you heard that video?
Did you see that video?
Are you going to cry, maybe?
Maybe shit and come?
There's a guy that does like a flawless Bernie Sanders.
That's awesome.
It is like it's just Bruce James?
No.
I don't know who it is, but it's fucking like perfect.
Damn.
It's shitting and coming.
Yeah.
Didn't SNL steal a bunch of his jokes or something from the Trump-Bernie debate?
I believe.
I believe that.
I don't know that for a fact, but it sounds correct.
He should have been on SNL.
Yeah, he's on the side of the city.
So should should have been talented.
So should have Anthony like they should have
been hired, but yeah,
it should have been.
One guy is gay and incredibly talented.
The other guy is racist and incredibly talented.
Gonna piss your pants, maybe,
maybe shit and come.
Just like those bankers on Wall Street,
the top 1%
is stealing all the piss and shit and come from middle-class working people.
That's good.
I don't know.
That's like something we show.
Shut it out.
I don't.
It just says Bernie Sanders takes back shit, piss, and come.
Is Joe Biden running for fucking president?
I think he is.
My man feels everyone's titties on the sneak.
Not even on the sneak, just on TV.
Just when he's swearing you into Congress.
He swears in female congresswomen on his balls.
Does he touch the body?
He literally like gropes, gropes, like now.
What is this malarkey?
Stop resisting.
Say malarkey is a cool word.
He says malarkey.
Do you guys uh do you guys
wear underwear?
Uh, yeah.
I have.
Because I just heard about this new thing that's pretty cool.
What is that called?
Underwear?
Yeah, no, it's yeah, sort of.
It's a little bit.
You know, recently
I've gotten out of diapers.
Well, I didn't need them.
I would wear diapers to the bathroom and then pull them down and go to the bathroom as an adult.
No, I'm
my name's
Anthony Jeselnick.
No, I know.
He's from San Francisco.
Oh, San Francisco.
I'm a guy on vacation.
Man, now I'm really drawing connections in my brain.
He doesn't sound like Jeselnick.
Doesn't he sound like Jeselnick sounds like that a little bit?
It doesn't matter.
I used to wear diapers, now I don't.
Yeah.
I got my big pants better.
Yeah, the big boy pants.
I got them from MacWeldon.com.
It's great.
It's actually one of the few websites that still works even with
the entire suite of NetNanny software that my mom has installed on the family computer, which is placed on her bed.
And then there's security cameras watching me as I use.
There's one on my face, one on the screen, one pointed at my crotch.
She knows that it can't be done.
There's actually a band around my penis that measures
if I've my penis moves at all, the website is then banned.
So I one of the I can only browse Club Penguin and MacWeldon.com.
Wow.
My favorite underwear website
where they believe in smart design, premium fabrics, and simple shopping.
The best.
I love all those things.
You know, I love shopping online.
Most of the time, you know, it's difficult because my mom's there
demanding I don't look at the prices of anything because she doesn't want me to be ruined by capitalism.
Oh, wow, really?
Mac Weldon has such good prices that she's not worried about me being traumatized.
Wow, that's how good the prices are.
They're great.
In fact, the underwear are better than whatever you're wearing right now.
I'm wearing a Mac Weldon, so it's not even better than that.
Oh, you have personal experience?
You would say that you were somebody who personally experiences Mac Weldon.
I experience my underwear every day.
Yeah, and what was your experience like?
Oh, it was like,
you know, when my parents played Crosby Steels and Ash and Young for me as a baby.
And I felt like, wow,
this is so beautiful.
Yeah.
I like to say that I think it makes sense.
How about Cosby Steels Gash That's Young?
Oh,
man, that's good.
Yeah, it's his band.
Wow.
Wow.
You know,
I'll just take it.
Damn.
If I see it, I don't like it.
I'll take it for myself.
This is my bad called Cosby Steel's gash that's young.
They got a line for
all different types of lifestyles.
Yeah.
It makes sense that you like it, Nick, because they have this beautiful antimicrobial silver shit.
Look, I love anything that's anti-microbial, anti-Semitic,
anti-Islamic.
Oh, wow.
Both those last two.
Yeah, and I don't really know how that relates to being antimicrobial, but their line of silver underwear and shirts that are naturally antimicrobial.
I don't want microbials in this country.
Well, you know what microbials are, right?
It's cat piss.
Really?
So my big problem is that I let in cats from outside and they piss all over my underwear
because they're trying to fuck my girlfriend.
The cats, the cats.
The neighborhood cats are trying to fucking fit.
The cats are trying to fuck my girlfriend.
I got a locker in the bathroom.
Wow.
I got 35 cats in here.
They're pissing all over my clothes.
They're all in the heat.
Trying to have sex with my girlfriend.
And then, you know, my girlfriend's pissing all over my clothes too.
Oh, yeah, because she's got to get her scent.
Everything in here smells like piss except my MacWalden underwear.
Wow, because of the silver.
Because it's a silver line of shirts and underwear, which they means they eliminate cat piss.
Wow.
You heard it here first, folks.
Get a pair of
pairs.
You grab your cat and rub it against your body until it pisses out of fear.
And then you go out on the dating scene and try and demand a woman to smell your crotch.
And she's screaming, but as you push her head down,
you go,
great coffee.
You put your head down, you say, does it smell like cat piss?
And it won't.
I mean, you'll go to jail.
The dating scene.
Look, and they look, Mac Walton just wants you to be comfortable, all right?
That's what I say to these ladies out there on the dating scene.
Oh, yeah.
You know, they want you to be comfortable.
So if you don't like your first pair, you can keep it, and they'll still refund you.
That's so nice.
No questions asked.
They call that the Adam Friedland Special.
Adam keeps
using new email addresses.
I've never
sending it to different friends' addresses to get one free pair.
So not only does MacWold underwear, socks, shirts look good, they perform well too.
Because that's more important.
That's my biggest problem:
my shit looks good, but it doesn't perform.
It doesn't go hard anymore.
Are we still talking about underwear?
Yeah, we're still talking about underwear.
That's why I love wearing underwear.
I hide my broken dick.
It no longer works.
But they're great.
They're good for working out, going to work, going out on dates, just everyday life.
That's right.
I love everyday life.
I love that shit.
I love doing all those things that I do.
Going out to work.
Going out on the dating scene.
Showing up to the office.
John, why are you so happy today?
You're like, well, I'm wearing fucking underwear.
They're like, what?
And they're like,
you want a kiss?
Excuse me?
And you're like, I'm sorry.
I'm learning.
I'm learning office culture.
I just got into that show, Mad Men.
I'm learning how it works.
So go to MacWelm.com and get 20% off using promo code COMTON20.
Damn.
That's C-U-M.
T as in Thomas.
O as in
Omega.
Omega.
W
as in white.
N as in nationalism.
20.
No,
that's in something else.
No, not that.
It's Come Town.
That C is in Caucasian uprising.
No, it is
mastered.
No.
This works too well.
Treason.
God, no.
White nationalism.
The clues.
They were there the whole time.
Okay, yeah.
MacWell.com's Right Design Premium Value Examination.
20% off using promo code ComeTown20.
The best.
Let's start the show.
Let's start the show.
Finally.
Baby girl.
I wanna
hang out with my friends.
Yeah.
And have
sex.
Uh-huh.
I hope it never ends.
Go off.
I wanna hang out with my friends
and have sex with their buttholes.
I wanna hang out with their friends.
This is original content.
this isn't even
and put uh
uh fill their butt with marbles
that'd be pretty cool
how many marbles you get in each other's asses how deep does an ass go before you hit the colon is that it would you hit the back of your cock
isn't that what the pro prostate is prostate is the back of the ass it's the back of your cock
Where's the colon?
I guess the ass goes into an intestine kind of thing, right?
Hmm.
So I guess you can fit.
The back of your cock is kind of
an ass ton.
Was it like a metric ton?
Yeah.
I bet we could fit
12 marbles in the middle.
If I never have to do math again in the rest of my fucking life, I'll die happy.
Fuck that shit.
I agree.
No, I mean, it's fucking bullshit.
We got calculators.
Yeah, I agree.
No, math can suck my hard penis.
If I ever have a kid, I'm never helping them with homework.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
I already did all this shit.
Why are you asking me?
You didn't even, though.
That's true, I didn't.
Like, I don't know.
Maybe you should start a podcast.
Maybe you and your fucking gay friends should start a podcast.
You're gay.
Ooh, look at me.
I'm in fourth grade.
You just go on your podcast to show you.
Yeah, I still think you're a fucking baby.
You just showing pictures of him as a baby.
Look at you, you fucking baby.
You fucking dumb baby.
Fucking stupid baby.
Trying to take a bath.
That would be awesome, dude.
Traumatize your fucking skills.
Yeah,
I'm not going to let my kid bathe.
Yeah,
never.
He's wearing clothes from day one until he's
grows into.
Yeah, my parents,
they didn't let me bathe ever.
And as a result, I never developed body odor.
I've never sweat once in my life.
My parents were kind of sports adverse.
They thought they were too scary for me.
San Francisco.
Right.
Yeah, well, you know, just the concept of a touchdown really bothered my mom.
Touching was off limits, and down represented the volatility of up and down, which was not allowed in our house.
It was a rancher.
There was one story.
No one was allowed to jump
or reach for anything on the top shelf.
Yeah, I remember for one of my birthdays,
my mom's boss's son, who was the only friend I was allowed to have,
he came over and he brought a Jack and Jill picture book and my mother threw a fit about the hill in there.
Nobody should know about this.
About these kinds of things.
What happened when you found out the truth, though?
About kills?
I mean, I think I handled it fine.
I think maybe she was overreacting.
It's like a couple of years ago, I got raped.
And I mean, that was, you know, it was pretty rough, but I got through it.
You bounced back.
Yeah.
I mean, to him, that would just be like finding out Twizzlers exist.
It's just like, what a new thing in the world now.
That your mom didn't tell you about it.
I'm erasing that one.
That one was just a draft.
He didn't get raped.
Okay, all right.
That's in like the
alternate universe.
Yeah,
I'm not really feeling the San Francisco guy today.
That's all right, man.
No, that was good.
The thing about hills.
Yeah, I think that's too
on the nose.
And that's just the plot of the Giver.
Is it?
Yeah.
No,
they don't know colors.
They don't know colors, but they also don't know any kind of gradation.
Really?
Yeah, there's no hills.
Remember, he leaves town and
the hills, and he has to describe what a a fucking hill is.
Does anyone get pussy in the giver?
He wants to fuck Fiona.
And I remember being horny for Fiona when I was nice.
When I was a a wee.
Yeah, girl Shrek.
Girl Shrek, dude.
When I was gay and we.
Oh, we remember those days when we were gay and we.
In the Giver, he has parents, right?
Yeah.
So they fuck, you would think.
I think, yeah, you're allowed to fuck once.
But then they're also like aborting a bunch of people.
Remember that?
They kill the old people, right?
Isn't that what being set free?
I don't know.
We should ask fucking Ralph.
That's still, dude, when I saw that, and knowing that it was like without
a hint of irony.
Yeah, none of it.
Just not a drop of fucking irony.
He has his favorite books listed as The Giver and then fucking One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.
No way.
No Facebook?
Yes.
100% red.
That's so funny.
The Giver is like as advanced as that that was the most advanced book.
Yeah, and he put that on there to be like, yeah, I'll let bitches know I'm like deep sometimes.
That sometimes I, you know, I might have a little intellectual ass afternoon and read a book that was assigned in fifth grade.
Dude, I miss being a smart fifth grader.
Do you?
Yeah, there was something nice about it.
Like reading the giver and being like, and it being appropriate to blow my mind.
I was never smart.
I was like a potential kid.
Where
the fucking, they would take dumb kids and be like, you have potential.
and then and then you could just go up to the smart kids and be like you hear that i'm as smart as you i just don't know how to do any of the work
i just
did you hear what they said yeah one day nothing's gonna happen i remember a kid like that this kid dion he was that he was that kid i was a little fucking nerd dude reading the giver being like damn did you have a smart track program thing in fifth grade we had gate gifted and talented i was in gate and and they literally shielded us our school was so bad baltimore city schools are so bad.
They would lack
gifted and talented education.
Gifted and talented education.
Oh, Gat would be nice.
Oh, that would be gay.
Gat.
Yeah.
Grat.
That's for me.
Did you ever see Billy Madison?
I love him, dude.
Bring him back.
You ever see the movie Billy Madison?
They ran Nick.
Fuck, dude, that was awesome.
Dude, me and my friends spoke so much we watched Billy Madison.
Dude, we got so high.
We watched Big Mouth on Netflix.
What's this, a podcast?
Yo, have you ever heard of fucking dubs?
Getting a dub bag and fucking hitting the blaze.
Play Mario Kart?
No.
Sick.
I wrote a play when I was in Gate, which, in retrospect, was highly...
was kind of could have been construed as racist.
I still don't know how to process the fact that there was a child there that entire time.
Yeah, but it was too young.
Or the baby.
No, that doesn't exist, dude.
Like, children have money.
Oh, that baby's scarred.
Yeah.
I mean, that baby's fucked.
Just because of his
situation.
Like, one of those times is fine.
Do you think that was the moment the baby realized it was in a bad situation?
No, the baby doesn't know any better.
He'll realize when he's like 30 and he can't have a functional relationship because his family life is so bad.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah, because none of that money is going to be left.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, that money's all gone.
I'm shocked any of it is still left.
That guy's just going to be in some bar in fucking Delaware County.
People are going to be like, wasn't your dad Bam Margera?
And he's like, shut the fuck up.
Who wants to fight me?
I'll fuck you up.
He'll live with April, dude.
Yeah, April O'Neill.
No, no.
April Margera, dude.
He'll take good care.
Oh, I thought you meant that.
That baby's going to be taking care of the people from the turtles.
Yeah.
The whole jackass family is going to step up.
I put on NCKY, I put on Secret of the Ooh's last night.
What's that?
The second Ninja Turtles.
Oh, shit.
That's another thing we talk about quite a nice amount.
Yeah.
What?
We talked about the Nick last time.
And I feel like we've talked about Secret of the Ooh a bunch.
Yeah.
The Secret of the Coos.
And that's when they fuck April.
They're like, whoa, nutting feels good.
I guess we don't need to be ninjas anymore.
This karate shit sucks, dick.
Karate.
I'd rather get pussy.
Karate's fucking game.
Splinter's like, you must remember your training.
You know, I've done it.
Try some of this Splinter and then Splinter fucks.
He's like, too old to fuck.
But she can spit on it and then jerk it off.
Imagine being like the guy that has to date April after that.
He's like,
You fucked a rat
and a bunch of turtles.
Look, I mean, I look, hey, look, it's fucking 1987, right?
Again.
I'm a modern guy.
I'm a modern guy.
Look, I'm going to stop.
I make all my money selling fucking shares of a company that literally murders African children.
You know, I'd start doing cocaine at 7 a.m.
I get it.
Things have changed a lot since the 60s.
You know, I don't expect you to be my mom per se,
but you fucked a turtle.
You fucked four
turtles.
And they were underage.
They were teenagers.
They were children.
They were 16 years old.
You fucked a child turtle
from Japan that talked like he was from Bensonhurst for some reason.
Me and Anthony DeVito were laughing about that one time.
How all the turtles are like, surfs up, bro, except for like Michelangelo, who's like, who's this fucking guy over here?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is awesome how they have regional accent, different regions.
They're all from California, except the one of them who's from Bay Ridge.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Who was it?
Was it Michelangelo that sounded like?
I guess he did.
Oh, I mean, they're all wasps.
Was it Raff?
I thought Raffy sounded
like a gweed.
Yeah, Michelangelo was the one.
He was a Callie.
Yeah, he was Cali.
I do like that.
They all have Italian.
They're all Italian.
Different types of Italian.
Who's your favorite of the painters that the Ninja Turtles were named after?
Not the turtles, the Turtles.
The artists.
I mean, I guess some of them were sculptors.
Who's Raphael?
It's funny because it's like
the artist Raphael.
She's got one name?
I think so.
I don't know.
Michelangelo was the only one that wasn't usurped by the Turtles.
The rest of them, no one remembers who they are.
Not Leonardo da Vinci.
Da Vinci wasn't a fucking.
Oh, Leonardo.
Yeah.
Donatello, no one knows who it is.
Yeah, Donatello.
And then Raphael is like.
Who is that?
Rembrandt?
Are you the thinker?
Raphael Rembrandt?
No, that's Rodin.
Oh, damn.
Right?
Yeah, you're right.
That's the only sculpture I know.
Raphael
named Raphael who sculpted shit.
Yeah.
I will say, I fuck with sculpture, dude.
Like, ancient sculpture.
Ancient sculpture.
This shit rocks.
You like the old shit.
Yeah,
they make stone look soft.
I want a big marble mansion.
With one of those indoor pools that's got steam coming off of it.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, ma'am.
Why does it have steam?
And then I sit in there and then somebody comes in and I go, oh, just get it over with.
And then they shoot shoot me with a silencer in the pool.
Yep, and there's an above shot of just pink in the pool as well.
Oh, yeah, cool.
Yeah, with the blood coming out.
That was cool.
I would love that.
That would be tight.
I'll just get it over with.
We can put that on the Patreon.
Yeah.
Just me being.
Bonus, bonus coming.
Murder to my mansion.
Your murder.
I'm finished.
That's how I want to go out like the fucking Wolby Blood guy.
Just bashing Adam's head
in my indoor bowling alley.
But he doesn't get killed at the end.
He just kills that guy.
He does.
He just kills that guy.
Yeah, Nick changed his mind.
I'd rather kill you
and stay alive.
What I want is that cool fucking Spanish revival Tony's Mansion.
Dude,
those look so fucking good.
Yeah, they're awesome.
California Mission Saw mansions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would love that.
Like John Houston's place in Chinatown.
So sick.
Well, what I do, Mr.
Guinness, is I fuck my daughter.
And then I fuck my granddaughter also, and somehow that makes me the head of the water and power department.
Yeah, I just got real tired.
People think I'm respectable because I'm old.
It really is because I fuck my daughter.
I've never seen Chinatown.
You haven't seen it.
Never seen Chinatown?
No.
Come on, man.
September with Jack Nicholson?
Yeah.
It's probably classic.
No.
No, it's like one of the best.
No, no, no.
It's probably long and old and shit.
No, it's good.
It's fucking amazing.
How long is it?
It is long.
It's like three and a half hours long.
Yeah, I don't know if it's three and a half hours.
Yeah.
You should watch Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown.
Okay.
I watched Rosemary's Baby recently for the first time.
What happens?
The Devil.
The Devil fucks Rosemary's.
Yeah, it's where,
what's his name?
Woody Allen's ex-wife.
What's her name?
How am I fucking spacing out her name?
Mia Farrow.
Mia Farrow goes goes to sleep, and then she's got scratches all over herself the next morning, and her husband goes,
She's like, what happened?
He's like, oh, I fucked you while you were sleeping.
But really, there was an evil,
like,
seance that took place.
Her husband?
Satanic ritual.
He was in on it?
Yeah, and he was in.
And the cover story was that he raped her.
That was his cover story.
We've talked about that on the pod before.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
That's Cassavetes, right?
No, it's Roman Polanski.
No, no, the husband.
Yeah, is it John Cassavetes?
I think so.
I think it is, yeah.
Yeah.
Shouts out to a countryman.
Yeah, he's a fucking legend, dude.
Yeah, and then it, and then she's like, oh, I'm pregnant.
And then she's like, oh, my tummy hurts.
And everyone's like, stop being such a fucking dumb bitch.
Every pregnant woman's tummy hurts.
Well, we got a jet over to the live show, fellas.
Sounds good.
Are we hit an hour?
Yes.
We got ahead to the show.
Let's go.
All right, folks.
Thanks for tuning in.
Do you guys want to get some food?
Same time next week.
Same fucking, you know, but they would use the same.
Same bat time.
Same bat channel.
Same bat channel.
That used to be gay that you would listen to Batman on the radio.
Yeah, can you imagine we're that much of a loser?
It's just trying to turn it down as low as possible.
There's no headphones.
People are like, hey, what the hell is Clark doing?
He's like, nothing.
I'm listening to to the news.
They're like, is that Batman?
He's listening to Batman on the wire.
God, I don't even know.
I wish there was a word for guys who have sex with each other because that's what I would call you.
But that hasn't even been invented yet.
They call them funny.
Yeah.
Nancy.
What is this guy?
Funny?
Funny is, yeah.
Funny is pretty funny.
This guy's kind of funny.
What the hell is Batman?
Yeah.
Was there a porno on the radio where they're like women being like, oh, yeah.
Also, since this is
going up on the radio,
Chicago on the 22nd
and Milwaukee the 23rd, Eau Claire, Wisconsin the 24th.
I'm at
North Barnes.
What's that saying for?
Of Claire?
In French?
Clear water.
Oh, is water.
Oh, is water, yeah.
And Claire is some bitch.
All right.
Bye, guys.
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