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Your ring, your way.
Jack, Kev?
Beamer, what the fuck is up, huh?
Yeah!
Autobar, baby!
We're getting fucked up off natty ice out, this motherfucker.
He's with me.
You're trying to go get some pussy out pilico after this, huh?
I know I'm about that shit.
Damn, I'm winded as fuck.
I'm in my fucking house.
You don't understand.
I feel like I'm on fucking...
Like when Junior would get out for a funeral, you know, at the Sopranos?
Yeah, yeah.
That's what this feels like.
This is awesome.
I'm so happy not to be in my fucking house, guys.
Oh, fuck.
Hello, Happert deGrace.
Fuck.
God damn, I love being out, dude.
I had cookies today.
I'm drinking coffee.
The air is fresher than it is in my apartment.
Oh, my God.
I'm so happy, dude.
I don't even fucking want to do the pot.
I just want to look at you guys.
You know what I mean?
You look so cute.
You need to deal with the stress of watching you go up those stairs.
Yeah.
Dude,
that's what I've been training for my whole life.
That's why I have powerful ass haunches.
If one goes, if the left goes, the right's got the whole thing, no problem.
It's like kidneys.
Exactly.
The Lord gave me an extra leg.
You know what I mean?
I was men.
You saw how fucking beautifully I hopped out.
You saw that shit, right?
Come on.
Give it up, Chris.
Oh, fuck.
So nice nice to be home.
Back in fuck.
I'm a fucking homeowner here, you fucking.
I pay, I pay, my taxes pay for your fucking welfare, you motherfuckers.
I know I'm looking at a bunch of fucking welfare foods out of here right now.
Okay?
Spending all your food stamp money on scratch-offs.
I know what the fuck is going on.
Yeah, yo, if you go over to Haas over on fucking Moravia, yo, they'll fucking let you buy straight drugs with fucking food stamps, yo.
They don't even give a fuck.
They wring the shit out as milk and then they pour it down the fucking drain, and then they give you any kind of fucking drugs you want, yo.
Yeah, yeah.
It's mostly crushed up light bulbs, but them shits will get you.
Them shits will get you fucked up, yo.
God damn, I'm just gonna do the voice brew now.
Just do the whole show.
It's just him.
Let him go.
He has had no one to talk to for weeks.
He's been trapped in the prison of his own body and department.
Dude.
Every Friday, I've been doing mushrooms and watching Thor Rackerak.
Thank you.
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And it turns out it prepares you to do that voice.
That's the dojo.
In my mind, it's like the hyperbolic time chamber in Dragon Ball Z when you would fucking they would just fucking train.
Is that the one that makes him heavier?
Actually, yes, thank you.
Okay?
I know what you're going for, but you were actually factually correct.
So it's not really a burden, it's just a fact.
No, I don't
watch into it.
I was just asking.
But yeah, every time I took mushrooms, I was just doing the Ralph voice for hours, you know, and it was like time slows down when you're on shrews and watching Chris Hemsworth just fuck up.
She's these little zombies with his hammer and shit rules, by the way.
I just want to say, Thor Ragnarok rules.
If anybody wants to, can we just talk about that for like an hour?
Yeah, let's get
a movie.
Because this shit fucking rocks, dude.
Have you seen it?
Yeah, I saw it in the theaters.
Damn, I'm joking.
Movie pass, baby.
It's a golden time.
Now it's over.
So did you guys go to that rally in DC?
Oh, yeah.
Thank you guys.
Just kidding.
Thank you guys for making it back.
I know you saw that on your calendars.
You were like, fuck.
Dude, I had to go away.
Am I going to have time?
Yeah.
You know.
Is someone wearing a big baller brand shirt in the back?
Triple B, babies?
Yeah.
Hilarious.
There we go.
Yeah, shout out to you.
So thank you.
I know you're all tired from just marching all day and just trying to make a fair world.
You know, I guess people who politics do it a lot, but sorry, I'm going to stop.
That's irony.
I'm sorry.
Dude, you had one sip of coffee.
You're like fucking empty up right now.
I mean, he's got to carry some kind of weight.
Yes.
Physical weight.
It's an emotional weight.
Last minute.
Throw me on your back, dude.
I guess I'm on your back.
I don't know.
We're on your back, baby.
get on my back I'm fucking pogo the motherfucker dude well you're on you're on my back baby
you mean a sexual sex way yeah gay sex what is Thor Ragnarok uh it's a thorny hole I can pretend I knew what it was
Thor gets his whole shit fucked up yeah what's right what's ragnarok is that also a god no ragnon ragnock yeah
thor wasn't enough they needed more it's yeah it's a guy it's a big ass guy with a fucking fire sword.
He's made out of fire.
He's got fucking foreign standards.
Someone's nodding to something right.
It's more of a reckoning of
Asgard.
You know if I had to say.
So Asgard is getting their hole.
It's like popping.
It's the hymen of the asshole.
Yeah.
If someone breaks your ass, hymen, you can't go to Valhalla.
The Vikings take their hole right away.
Right.
They dip the little, like, a tip of their.
So basically, yeah.
Thor lives in this world, which is like a Viking paradise where all the guys that died at that rally in DC is like
as much anime watching pussy as you want.
You know what I mean?
You die, you die, the whole
thing.
You can jack off the hen ties of the rest of the next turn at the end.
It's a weird thing.
Yeah, and his father is Sir Anthony Hopkins, who has one eye.
And he knocks out of the park, by the way.
Shouts out the fucking Hannibal Electoral.
Yeah, he's good at everything except that.
Baltimore legend Hannibal Lecter.
Is he from Baltimore?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Anthony Hopkins.
Hell yeah.
Anthony Hopkins is a great actor, but they're like, okay, just don't be British.
He's like, I'm not doing that.
Baltimore accident.
I grew up on Eastern Avenue.
My mother would jerk off men for $15 each.
I'm a giant fan of Cal Ripken Jr.
I have the Iron Man.
I have BJ Serboff all the time.
I have it hanging above my bed.
Yeah,
he meets Robert Downey Jr.
in this movie.
In that movie, he's like, I thought you were supposed to be Cal Ritkin Jr.
Not Richkin is a thank you.
Thank you.
He's the Iron Man.
He had a consecutive game streak.
Catch up, Saab.
We're talking baseball history.
Did you know that the rumor is Kevin Costler fucked Cal Ritkin's wife?
Do you guys know that shit?
Yeah, Field of Dreams.
Yeah.
That's what Field of Dreams is about.
You get to play with this many baseball.
If you build it, you can fuck some guy's wife.
It's a sex shape that he's talking about.
If you build it.
If you build it, we can return to the time where it was only whites on the field.
What a beautiful one.
And we were in the cornfields of Kansas.
Yeah.
Hilarious.
Getting knocked off by Calvin Digital.
Yeah.
So who
here is going to kill me?
No one's going to kill you, bitch.
No one's going to kill me.
That guy with the tattoo is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure.
That narrows it down dude.
He's gonna kill him.
Is it also like cheeses or something?
He's gonna sober up and then have to end his life.
Yeah,
with an apple tattoo.
That guy,
he's 19 years old and he got a tattoo of me.
Oh, no.
Can you attack him?
He's gonna attempt to kill you, get arrested, and then he's gonna go to jail and then they're gonna cut a hole in his shoulder where your mouth is.
And then they're going to fuck you in the mouth through his life.
That's how that guy's story ends.
I don't know what it is.
Can you imagine hiking podcasts that much?
I mean, can you imagine hating your own body that much?
Yeah.
Jesus.
That's worse than cutting.
Yeah.
It just doesn't have the same effect anymore.
It's unless you're bugging wrists.
If you really want to feel something, you get a tattoo of Adam on your shoulder.
Just on top of your back knee.
Yeah.
Well, there's nothing wrong with back knee.
It's totally normal.
Now they can do a steroid use.
Some people like to have.
It doesn't make your balls smaller.
Well, some people give you smaller balls.
It gets you faster.
That's what we would want.
It's a guy that fucks very quickly.
Just get it over with.
Lusaine Bulk has the smallest nuts of all time.
Just two little marbles.
He's fucking aerodynamic, dude.
Those nuts aren't hanging while they spring.
I'm going to get my nuts replaced with the Oscar Vesourius scoops.
You just hook them into the asshole and they're locked in.
They can't leave.
That's good.
I want one of those, dude.
Is that the solution?
Go just chop my shit off.
Yeah, get blades, dog.
Actually, yeah, we should get blades.
Get blades and accidentally kill your fiance.
He definitely got her, right?
That's all he needed.
Yeah.
Vistorius is definitely in jail just pissed off at like Elon Musk coming up.
He's like, damn, there's another white South African that just took my mantle as the shittiest guy in the world.
What's worse, murdering your wife or making chappy?
That guy's tip.
The two greatest South African crimes.
South Africa has really not done anything bad besides that.
I can't think of anything.
I can't think of anything.
I can't think of anything.
It's pretty much, yeah, their whole history checks out.
Except for the movie Chappie.
My parents were against that.
They were against the movie Chappie.
No problem with any other political stance, but Chappie's coming at us.
Yeah, we had to leave in the early 90s for some reason.
But Chappie, we will not stand for it.
Yeah, that's true.
It really is.
It's true.
They're good.
What is Chappie?
It's about a robot that wants to bring apartheid back.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't do it.
I can't be racist.
I'm a robot.
It's not even possible.
I made an objective observation about where people should live.
Chappie, stop saying that.
I'm going to kill Nelson Mandala's daughter.
Chappie, that's over now!
It's a new South Africa.
Is it?
No.
It is.
It's very corrupt now, but in a different way.
Nice.
Yeah, it's cool.
Like, what kind of way?
Just voofuzella.
It's a lot of voofuzellas.
That's like the bigger review.
What's up with South Africa and Australia being, first of all, the same country?
No, it's not similar to
the similar bound instruments.
I don't like it.
Yeah.
It's fucked up, if you ask me.
It is funny that Aborigines think that's an instrument.
Well, I mean, like, they have a nice rich culture, but it's like, that's a tube.
I don't know.
I mean, it's just a tube.
It's not.
What the fuck is a tuba?
The tube.
A tuba.
It bends, twists, there's buttons on it.
There's a lot going on with it.
Alright, what about a flute?
A flute, again, buttons, holes.
There's some thought went into that.
It's made out of metal.
A didgeridoo is a tube of any length.
Oh, how about this bass?
With drums.
What the fuck is drums?
Also bullshit, for the most part.
Fair, respect.
Game recognized game.
Only real instruments, theremin, turntable.
I don't know, I don't agree with it.
So theremin does rock, dude.
For rapper the rapper on PlayStation 2.
I consider that an instrument.
Yes,
Oh, hell yeah.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Yeah.
That shit rocked.
When I was in South Africa in January, some dude hit me up.
He's like, hey, if you want, I'm a big fan of the pod.
If you guys want, I I think it's really rude how uh Stop and Nick Reiscule all the time.
It should be NASA if you wanna watch soccer with me.
I was like, nah, I'm not I'm at my grandma's house.
I'm going to do that.
You want to watch soccer?
Yeah.
Maybe discuss our views on other inferior titles.
No, no, that's not.
Maybe that should be too.
Maybe that should be kept in path.
We turned the page on that.
What a fucked-up piece of shit country.
No, it's.
That shit sucks.
It's a beautiful.
I mean, how do you guys get like rid of segregation until like Capri San is a PMO?
No, that's not true.
That's not true.
It's like a part two character where there's green people that are evil.
And someone are blue.
Get Skeeter out of there.
They fucking they ended Skeeter on every single episode.
There was a different show called Skeeter and it was just like him going to a school with no books.
I mean America's excuse is like, I mean it went went on way too long, but at least we didn't even know what hats were supposed to look like yet.
That's true.
We're like, should they be this tall?
Or this?
I mean, everyone was doing a different thing.
That's true.
No, you're right.
You can't get the racism until you figure out what to wear.
Well, yeah, I mean, really, yeah.
You gotta figure out what kind of hat to wear.
Yeah, exactly.
That's important.
What do you guys think?
We didn't talk about this at all.
The guy who stole that plane, did you see that shit?
Yeah.
That man is my heart.
He's a comeboy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's pretty good at red.
Can you imagine doing a like a private 9-11 to yourself?
I just want to die in 9-11.
I just thought I'd not touch Steve Rand's easy shit.
Also, shout out to that guy, because he was just like, I'm running out of gas.
Fuck it.
I'm doing a loop-de-loop.
I'm doing a fucking loop-de-loop.
Who gives a fuck?
That shit kind of rocks.
Well, I thought he stole the plane and killed himself.
He was doing it on purpose.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, you know, but he did a loopy loop before.
That's what I was saying.
It's like, you know, because people are saying I should go to therapy or whatever.
Because I have the money to do it now, but I also have the money to afford the world's fanciest suicide.
That should not be discredited.
You know, I don't need to jump in from a train like a peasant
and go all out like an Indian wedding, you know?
There's like a procession of elephants with
the traditional garb and my chemical romance shirt.
I ride the main elephant, you know, and I got a big antique coordinate hunting rifle.
Just covered in scripture.
It's made out of gold.
And I ride the elephants into the David Buster's.
I'm like, hey everyone, I'm here.
What's going on?
And then I blow my brains out
in front of whoever the fuck is still going to David
Which is probably just people that don't know you can kill themselves.
They're like, what did you just do?
How did you do that?
What's your way out?
We don't have to play video poker for yourself.
You could just end it like that hero.
Steal the plane.
I'm going to go out hot air balloon.
That's my shit.
Yeah.
I'm going to just jump off that motherfucker.
How about this?
Hot air balloon.
Ju find the fucking gummy worms factory.
Okay.
Jump out of the sky
through the fucking window.
Maybe I don't even kill myself.
Maybe just eat as many gummy worms as I want.
Why do I have to kill myself?
I just
in the air, I'm like, no, there's a reason to live.
That's that.
I'm purchasing it in this Ribo factory.
And I'm going fucking bunk nasty all these cherries.
All these sour cherries and these fizzy colas.
I'm going to live, baby.
I wanna live.
That makes no sense.
I just changed the business.
That's the end of that movie, The Game.
I went to the Vaygo factory in Detroit.
We were like driving around and my friend went in.
And it was like, well, it was just.
Did you have to put on the makeup before?
I mean, it looks like a prison.
And then when we just drove in, the gate was open, and then the door was open.
So we just walked into the factory, and nobody stopped us and then there was a security guard that didn't come up he's like uh what are you doing we're like do we go on like a tour of the faygo factory
he was like
well i don't know
and he's like wait here let me go check and then he like leaves comes back 15 minutes later he's like no they said no but You guys want some free Faygo?
We were like, yeah, that'd be great.
He's like, okay, wait here.
And he leaves and he comes back like 15 minutes later.
He's like, yeah, I can't do that either.
You guys gotta get out of here.
Yeah, dude.
He could have just stolen as much video as he wanted.
No, it was we were just like wandering around Detroit.
We went into this, like, most of the houses are just abandoned.
So me and my friend went into this house and we were like hanging out on the porch upstairs.
And there's this lady that lives in the house next door, and she just comes out and looks at us.
She's like, Y'all buy that house?
We're like, nah, she's like, all right.
Do you want to buy it?
It's just like
give you $4.
Right, I mean that's what it costs.
Damn, should we just buy like a bunch of row houses in Detroit?
Hell yeah, dude.
And make like a big like a fucking
scam.
Detroit City is basically like a Columbia like movie house like scam where they're like you get one movie for a cent and then you have to buy a bunch of other ones.
Because if you buy a house there, they make you pay all the back taxes.
So you buy a house for like $4,000, and you have to pay all the back taxes and then fix the house within like six months or this, like the land bank trust just takes it away from you.
Damn, that's fucked up.
Yeah, so they'll just don't buy a house in Detroit.
It was a scamming.
I know all you guys have that kind of money laying around.
Well, it's, I mean, it is like $300 to buy the house.
Yeah.
I'm back in.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I would be if you could go on a tour of the Faygo factory.
Yeah.
Can we buy the Faygo factory?
That's the real question.
That would be sweet.
That would be a good place to kill yourself.
Just dissolve your body into the faygo.
Knowing that you're giving, like, Jungalows second-hand diabetes.
That's how the fucking uh...
What's the Ealis Joker?
The...
Mark Barrett.
That's how the Jared Levin.
Mark Barron Joker?
Yeah.
Yeah, so what's this fucking Batman guy?
Is he like a fucking guy or what?
I don't know what's in my head, man.
I'm fucking twisted up.
Everyone hates waiting for fucking postage at the post office.
You know, one day I was waiting at the post office, I just fucking snapped.
Put fucking scars on my face.
Speaking of snapping, go ahead and snap your underwear off.
I know it's a live show, but hey, we got a contract.
We got to do the ads.
We got to do ads because we didn't plan
that we had to do the ads.
How many of you are wearing underwear out there?
None.
Don't get pants, right?
Yeah.
How many of you are wearing diapers?
Diapers.
Guess what?
We got a new type of underwear that you can shit in.
It's called diapers.
It's called MacWeldon underwear.
You go to MacWeldon.com
and let them know you're incontinent, that you love shitting yourself either by choice or by design.
And they got a great pair, the most comfortable pair of underwear you'll ever wear.
And a very easy shopping experience.
I go on there.
I don't know how to read.
I still know how to buy underwear.
MacWeldon.com.
Check them out.
They got a silver line of underwear and shirts that are naturally.
The silver lining each other.
They suck the shit out of your ass.
There was no turret at all.
Once this silver lining gets through with your shit,
baby, your ass is cleaner than a fucking
underwear that
astronauts use to suck the shit out of their asses.
It's naturally antimicrobial.
They got crew necks and duffel bags and a bunch of shit.
You can shit those dudes.
You can shove the duffel bag.
You don't like the TSA?
Fill the duffel bag with a MacWell duffel bag with shit.
They can't kick you off the plate.
And then when they open it up, you go, those are prescription.
You can do all that at Macwell.com.
There's a promo fill in Hometown, C-U-M-T-O-W-N, get 20% off your order.
And if you don't like it, go ahead and complain, tell them there's way too much shit.
And they'll refund you and you get to keep the underwear.
No questions asked.
MacWell.com.
And we're still sitting right here.
Give it up for underwear.
Yeah, who likes underwear?
Buy that shit.
Hell yeah, nice.
Should I go to the car bits?
Is that are we hit that moment of the show?
Oh yeah, we prepare, guys, by the way.
So yeah, these
are really good bits.
We should circle back to Thor Ragnarok.
Yeah.
Bro, I'm ready to go.
I'm so much'cause I know Thor is like the
white god of
hammers.
Like the wind white people had their own religions.
That's Norse mythology, right?
But what is Ragnarok?
Is that like a mech?
Yeah.
Well, he goes, he gets exiled to a trash planet that's controlled by a Jew named Jeff Boldwood.
It is true.
And the whole thing is an allegory for the age of Jewish control of government.
Did Jews ever have a pantheon or no?
A pantheon?
Like a place where your heroes go to the world?
No, like all the gods, they have multiple gods or it was only
the other.
Those were the first monotheistic religions.
Shouts out to Abraham.
I love that the Jesus.
Everyone has like a million gods and the Jews are like,
just one.
We used to pay God.
Yes, so they don't pay gods.
Sharing is these pains.
Just do one.
And he's saying one.
I passed by that Jewish fire department in Williamsburg.
Oh god, yeah.
They have a Jewish fire department in Williamsburg, like a Hasidic Jewish fire department.
And it's just so funny to imagine them showing up to a fire.
And then the fire chief is like,
maybe not so much water, Jacob.
It's a little bit less, really.
It looks like it's dying out the rain.
What have you been doing here?
So much water.
There's a specific
law and order SVU where they think that one of the rabbis is raping kids.
And they're protected by the Jewish police that they have there.
And they're like, wait, we've never
done that.
We shouldn't do that to the kids.
What do they just arrest cyclists for getting hit by vans, right?
Charlotte?
Yeah, no, they like throw rocks at cyclists if you're like biking through their neighborhood on Shoppas.
Is that in the forum?
Yeah, it says that.
Harvey Weinstein is a scapegoat.
Oh, that was a good one.
That's a good one.
Oh, yeah, yeah, we got that from the car.
Lee Harvey Weinstein.
He's jacking off to Kennedy in the book of the population.
He's like there with binoculars.
Did we say on the show before Steve Harvey Oswald?
I think he did.
That's a good one, too.
I think it's all the same, but he's just wearing a big ass yellow suit.
That's how they caught him.
He couldn't get away because he's wearing a 12-button muster suit.
But he knew that.
He has a special where he's dressed exactly like the mask.
It came out like four years after the mask, and no one stopped him.
No one was like, okay, Steve, I get the, you know, you like the suits, but it's literally the exact same clothes.
Nobody stopped him.
Somebody stopped me.
Somebody stopped me.
Yeah.
We also said in the car that it'd be cool to connect jumper cables to a girl with large breasts and connect them to your dick to get a boat.
That's how you get hard.
They need a chunk.
Each jumper cable, one nibble, and then the one goes to your cock, and you get hard.
Well, one of the black one goes to your cock, the other one is to the ground, I think.
Yeah,
So that goes to the train.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Otherwise, you'll blow out our alternator, which is
your asshole.
You're O-ring.
Come on, Adam.
You're kind of butchering.
Okay.
So maybe
a little more gusto.
Why don't you try and say, hey, what if
you dictate Olivia?
What do you think if
Owen Wilson was a
section?
Wow,
wow, your mustache feels great on my balls.
Oh wow, wow,
wow, sure
wow, can I
can I taste can I taste my asshole?
Wow, I taste all salt.
Yeah, we get a royal tenant boss, right?
That's why it's the king.
Ben, welcome back, Nick.
Welcome back.
Thanks.
Oh, we had another, oh, yeah, we had another good song, too.
Oh, yeah.
She fucked my ass.
Oh, yeah, Spong Scratch.
Spong Scratch.
She bucked my ass.
She bucked my ass.
She fucked my little ass.
She fucked my ass.
She bought my mouth and ass.
She fucked my mouth and I wasn't.
She made me taste my ass.
You tasted it bad.
It keeps going.
It tastes my ass.
It just starts doing it.
It's really funny.
It's so fun.
We're bailing so early into these bids.
We did gay Odin Wilson for about 43 minutes.
The entire new future.
We're going to do this at the show, and it's so funny that we make $4 million a year too.
It's the gig economy.
I like that Springsteen wrote Nebraska while driving up and down the turnpike.
He wrote, fuck my ass monster.
Both of us are considered artists.
Equal.
Equal.
I mean.
Equal.
Equal.
We need a fucking Buff Sachs guy.
R.I.P.
That's the only missing from us.
Clarence Clemens?
Yeah.
You need to get Buff and Clemson.
R.I.P.
Clarence Clemens, everyone.
He's dead.
His son now plays in the E-Street band.
Really?
Saxophonist.
How do you say that?
Oh, yeah, this was a good one from the car.
If James Earl Jones got a sex change, he would become James Girl Jones.
His voice is
his career, so you can't give up the voice.
Simba.
Anything else in the car?
This is making Simba watch the SRS operation while the Circle of Light plays.
And then that's why Simba has to leave town.
Simba!
I am your mother!
This was another good one.
What if Donald Trump changed his Twitter bio to say they slash them?
I suggested that one, and then immediately afterwards, Nick said, that's good.
That's the only thing you're allowed to say on the show.
No, he said that's the one funny thing you're gonna say.
Okay.
Well I got it.
I didn't say it's the one thing he's allowed to say.
I got
it beat it, buddy.
I know that.
We're just having a good time in the car.
We knew Nick bounced back when he just started bereading at us.
We just knew.
Yeah, we're like, oh, it's so good to have you back, dude.
He's like, God's trying to kill me.
And then a week later, he's like, Adam, you're a fucking faggot, dude.
Thank God.
Thank God he's back.
We're not presented at Clown College or whatever, wherever he sent crazy people.
We were sent to Petey Barnum at Bailey Circus.
What's up with Clown College?
Is there something like that?
Yeah,
dude.
We should go.
We should enroll.
What happens there?
Do you know?
You learn how to juggle, you learn how to unicycle.
You learn how you got these scars.
They fuck your mouth up big time.
What was the Batman guy thinking?
He's like, it's like a clown, but it's 20 years.
They wrote it in the fucking 20s.
Nobody fucking thought it was going to be like famous.
It was just some dumb shit.
It was like every every comic book was like the fucking the raccoon or some shit like that.
And it's a bad guy that eats trash.
And then it's like, oh, it's the it's the Oriental and it's just like a a Chinese guy.
Like
the Jay Wong.
I don't know, fucking secrets.
Fuck comic books.
I mean, well, now that you said that, I'm kind of into comic books.
Yeah.
There was one called The Oriental.
It's just in Chinese.
He doesn't even know he's a villain.
He's just trying to get a bunch of newspapers.
The way that he takes off my little cycle.
He was going around Chinatown stealing newspapers.
And a guy dressed like a bat beats the shit out of him.
Yeah, every like 20s comic book was just a guy not doing hate crimes.
That was basically what we would consider not to be hate crimes.
They did have, there was a Captain Nazi, I know that.
That would like fight Captain America.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, he was like a skeleton, right?
Oh, that's the red sky.
There was a guy that was just, he was, like, he had a swath sick on his chest.
Cool, that sounds like a good one.
They're like the rest of the game.
That sounds spooky.
Well, it's funny because it's like that came out, that probably came out in the 40s.
It's like, I wonder what's what's going to happen.
It's like the Nazis could still witness war.
Seems like dangerous sharing.
That's all the Marvel movies now is Captain Nazi.
Captain Nazi and the Oriental.
That's four.
Yeah, that would be so sad.
Honestly, I would be so sad if World War was not going, because that means no fluoragnaron.
Yeah, that's true.
You know what I mean?
Obviously there's other bad movies.
That would have been the worst thing.
So throw a rat room.
Well, no, but they liked runes and shit, right?
They would have done it.
Yeah, but it was it was like it was had a nice sense of humor.
You know, Jeff Goldman, again, was an integral part of the movie.
I'd be like, he probably wouldn't get cast in it.
Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
Maybe Hollywood would have been run by Germans.
Oh, look at that.
That would have been cool.
I mean, there would be...
Honestly, these kids would get molested probably.
I don't know.
I gotta know about that.
You You feed them little fat boys.
You glue them up with chocolate.
Yeah, with chocolate.
Right.
I have to go enter Walta.
All German pedophiles are gainers.
They're feeders.
You just feed them schnitzel until they're just ready to pop.
It's just been conspiracy where German Hollywood is stealing children's shit.
Sex clubs.
Yeah.
This is fucking...
Should we talk about Thor Ragnarok more?
We should have seven stay on Thorraguerock.
Huh?
You know what?
I weighed myself, dude, and I was like, man, I've been living so horribly.
I've been eating like shit.
Yeah.
I've probably gained like fucking 50 pounds.
I gained one pound.
Which,
dude?
But no, no.
No, no, no.
No reason, man.
Now I collapse.
My point is.
My point is, you know how shitty my regular life must have been?
Just like being completely on my couch doing mushrooms like every four days and just eating halo top.
I was supposed to say halo top, because I think it's going to be different.
But I wasn't bed at Jerry's point for two weeks.
What's halo?
You didn't say sky ice cream.
Diet ice cream.
Oh, yeah.
Your boy was just.
That's how shitty my regular life was.
Master Chief.
Ice cream.
Alright, sorry.
That's true.
It's like getting sucked off from Master Chief.
That's what the logo of Halo Top would be.
Nick, weren't you saying that...
Nick, weren't you saying that guys in your community college used to read the novelization of Halo?
Oh yeah, I was saying I'm talking about reading the novelization of Halo.
You're better off just being illiterate.
You shouldn't forget how to be illiterate.
Jesus Christ and I'm like,
what fucking
parents did you have?
Yeah, my book reports you on the menu,
isn't there, there's like erotic fiction about Halo online.
Probably.
Yeah, people want to fuck the,
the
robot bitch?
Yeah.
Or time.
Thanks, dude.
Greatest fucking fans in the world, dude.
Good enough for you guys.
Can I get another drink on the performance tab?
Look at this market.
Why would you want to fuck a fictional robot?
Why don't you fuck a regular robot that's already the fiction of fucking real world?
Why would you like in my fantasy robot?
I still can't fuck.
Women still don't want to fuck it.
It's distant fantasy a million years from now.
I just get a beam of like a kiss by dick a little bit.
Cortana, give it a little swooch.
Damn, dude.
I wouldn't fucking robot, but I just seems kind of tight.
Like, I don't want to, I'd rather, I'd like to kiss a lot of women.
No, I'm serious.
You wouldn't fucking sex.
No.
Come on, dude.
I'm saying, oh, a sex robot.
LeperCon 3, where the woman comes out of the TV and then fucks him and then turns into a robot.
That's the ring.
Hell yes.
No, that's Leprechaun 3.
I love that movie.
I've never seen it.
I love the floor.
They used to put it on TV.
It would come on TV.
What's the black movie?
It had to be edited for content, so it was just a guy watching the TV and then a robot was killing him.
Trying to cut out the titties, and it never made sense until I saw the
game.
That's like when BET used to play The Wire, but they cut out all the Franks the bottom.
Season 2 doesn't exist.
Like, oh yeah, all that stuff on the docks is.
That's boring.
Respect.
Yeah, our audience can't relate.
That shit was filmed in retown, though.
Salute.
Yeah.
Salute Econos Restaurant when my mom was a wages.
Was a wages for years?
They should do that.
They should edit Power for like past television stuff.
It's just Jerry Ferrara scenes.
He's just doing lawyer stuff.
Turtle.
No one here watches Power or knows that Jerry Ferrara is even in it.
It's on Stars, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a good rip, though, guys.
If you've seen it, it wasn't a rip.
It's a 50 cent show.
It's about nightclubs.
Yeah.
It's about who owns all the nightclubs.
Hell yeah.
I think.
Right?
You were an extra on it, weren't you?
I was.
I was an extra for one day on
power.
Is that on your IMDB?
Interested?
No, you don't get an IMDB credit for extra work.
Why not?
What if you're really killing in the background?
I mean, that'd be a pretty sweet way to stack your IMDB pieces.
Yeah, I was on Game of Thrones.
The guy, like, I've had so much sympathy for the guys that get so much extra work that they buy an NYPD uniform.
I guess I'm just a fake cop for the rest of my life.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
You think they fuck in that uniform?
I don't think they fuck at all.
I mean,
it's a pretty fucking miserable life.
You get paid like $70 a day, but a day is like 17 hours long.
And then you just get yelled at for like taking too many fried macaroni and cheeses.
I can't really that's that last part sucks.
Those shits are good as fuck, by the way.
I don't fried mac and cheese ball.
I told this story already, but there was that old guy, Arnold's, who was the one who was.
Oh,
yeah.
Oh, man, that poor fucking guy, just in that girl's ear all day long.
Well, you know, I've been on this production for since I saw it, five years.
Oh, my God.
And he's like, I'm just hanging up for a hip operation.
And then finally, he's in a scene and Donnie Wahlberg walks past him and he's like, good morning, Donnie.
Donnie's like, I've been seeing way too much of you.
Donnie, too, not Mark.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, and he gets shut down by the more talented, but definitely less respected brother.
Would you like Mark Wahlberg to beat the shit out of you, Nick?
Why would he do that?
I'm just saying.
We're best friends.
How much would that fuck up your world if you fucked up?
If Mark beat me up, I'd be pretty upset.
I'd be pretty upset if that happened.
Because you're not as strong or because you lost his friendship?
Because I wouldn't have a hero anymore.
That's my only hero is Mark Wahlberg.
The man who overcame his past violent racism to barely hide it behind his muscles.
Now he just lives in a 13-story home gym
and comes around debuting custom sneakers at shitty burgers.
Dude, I want those fucking Wahlberger sneakers.
Kyrie just came out with Kyrie Irving just came out with cereal sneakers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Send him into scrunches.
He's got fucking kicks.
And he's got fucking lucky charms.
Isn't that just blink copyright branch?
No, I think, yeah, he just sold it.
No, I think it's a kid.
It's Harity Law.
Oh, okay.
Which, by the way, kicks.
I think sort of that, if I had to think what kind of thing.
Kicks, kicks.
What kind of.
Yes, that's good, Adam.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming out of it.
If I had to say what my stick is like as a cereal, it would be kicks.
Because it's just for kids.
First of all, kids.
First of all, number one, it's kids.
Number one, it's kid test and mother-approved.
Thank you very much.
No, you tested it on kids.
So your mom's like, I'm not mind that you fucking sound.
That's okay, Jimmy, that you fucking kidding, okay?
Where do you come from?
It's Snowden.
My mom did call me on the funny.
Oh, yeah.
She said some suspicious stuff to me.
We were just showing you, like, she thought she should call me.
She's like, Stambra, your little dick medicine, Renny.
My mom, in Greek, in Greek.
You can have her in the car.
He said, not to get it on your balls.
Because it will steam.
I wish they had little dick.
I did too.
I mean,
just Big Pharma could convince people it was working.
And it was just like icy hot.
I would give it six months.
No problem.
Although, I say that, but I tried Rogan and I just fucking got tired of it.
I knew that might have been the secret.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
There's no cure for baldness, but they're allowed to just release all this fucking shit.
Nah, Rogan will fucking hem you up.
Will he?
I don't know.
My cousin started going bald.
He tried all that shit.
Now his head looks like
just a fuzzy peanut.
But you'd be better off bald than whatever, like just
like a tennis ball almost.
Really?
Yeah,
and like we're seated on one side, too.
So it just looks like his eyebrow is raised.
So I thought, I think I look normal.
I bet he's really happy.
Do you bet that?
Yes, I do.
You bet it.
They love the hat.
There's somebody there with some weapons.
There's some way you can gamble.
Gamble upon the window.
Well, there is.
Bet the si.com, baby.
20 years of paying out winners.
They've been in business for a while.
They got an easy-to-use mobile app, Playbed Win.
You can bet anywhere.
They offer live in-game wage rings so you can change your mind whenever you want.
You know, like you can get off Propecia because your day stops.
I guess I'll be bald.
It's like, well, now it's a rock in a hard place.
You can bet on when that guy's going to kill himself
for a peach achievement.
Bet the SI.com, what do we got coming up?
You got picks, fellas?
Yeah.
Who's going to win in Charlottesville?
It's round two.
The whites versus the fields.
You got a lot more anger on the left, but there's more Dodge challengers this year.
I'm going to take there's good money on Indonesians.
It seems like those are good odds on them.
So I'm going to take them.
21.
To win Charlotte's?
Yeah.
To win the race score.
So you can bet on that.
Yeah, Indonesians will probably win.
Because first of all, no one knows where Indonesia is.
True.
I piss the Asia party.
I forget.
Indonesian.
That's what it was originally called.
But do they get in disputes with anybody?
I don't think so.
Yeah, they do.
You just wait around till the world kills.
Who?
Who?
Who?
Bitch?
East the Dutch?
Thank you.
Really?
And you managed the Dutch?
Thank you, the one woman at the show.
There's more women, thank you, Adam.
Yeah.
For the authentic
ladies, huh?
Wow.
Do you know we're Indonesians?
Or is it just her?
Are you Indonesian?
Really?
You are?
Wow.
If it's your thing,
it's on an island.
There's several islands, right?
Java is the main one.
Yeah, that's where
Thousand Island.
That's where Thousand Island dresses come from.
I love what you guys do.
They're at war with the ranch colonies.
Green Valley.
So yes.
Yeah!
It's the
most populous Muslim country in the world.
Indonesia.
Anyway,
they're chill too, right?
They're like chill Muslims.
They're chill Muslims.
See, they smoke weed.
So like, in Shaw, dude, this is some headies.
Thank you.
Anyway, if you want to bet on who's going to put it race for, go to betdsi.com.
Oh, right.
Fuck, I forgot.
Promo code CUM25.
No, it's not 120.
It's come only 20.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, something like that.
Listen to the other episodes, the reads on there.
I think that
fits in the distraction.
No, they had to change it because people were winning too much money.
Too much, baby.
We're winning too much around.
Stop at Adam's picks.
Yeah, so go to betdsi.com, use CUMG125, you get an extra 125% bonus on your deposit.
Either 120, 125, 25, just figure it out.
Yeah, you just put a fucking, you put money in, you know?
Yeah.
Types of numbers.
And they got customer service 24-7.
That's what you roll them up and just ask them.
I'm sure they know what the promo code is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just call.
Hey, what's the come down promo code?
Just
tell them any number.
Yeah,
we were saying in the car,
the customer service line of Bet DSI is not the suicide hotline.
So stop using it like that.
It's a gentleman in India, he's not
going to understand about all your problems.
It's going to be confusing, man.
It's got to be, because they have to have a suicide hotline there, right?
In India?
No.
And when you call it, you've got to worry that it's like your neighbor.
Right?
So call center, yeah.
Yeah.
Out of the right
privacy.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's true.
I feel like that would make me kill myself.
If I was at a low point, I called up the suicide hotline and I told them what my problems were, and then you get off the phone and you're like, oh, now that guy knows.
Yeah.
Yeah, one of your random friends knows?
Yeah, that's gotta be just like a minimum wage job, right?
There's no suicide hotline.
If elders just knew all your problems, yeah, just called elders.
There should be a suicide hotline union.
That'd be great.
It's like, yeah, stop people from fucking killing themselves.
Look, lady, I get it.
Your husband died, but I'm not.
Look, it's my fucking watch brain!
I only make $57 an hour!
Fuck, dude.
I'm sweating like a motherfucker.
Good thing I'm tropical as hell, dude.
Find the wine for those of you at home who can't see me.
Speeder was slow.
I'm wondering, did you guys have any deodorant loyalties?
What?
Like, what deodorant do you use?
Some deodorant recognition.
I've always been an old spice man.
Well, if that's classic, I use
the alcohol based one.
That was saying yesterday.
She was like trying to bring up some guy she knows named Bat Sweat.
It's like his name.
There's an RV.
You can just never smell bad.
You're going to be covered in axe body spray constantly.
Yeah, you don't want to smell bad.
Throw that axe body spray.
Well, if you use Bat Sweat, you're going to have charge shit myself
just never far at once.
I feel like John shit myself's got him fucking caring off.
John Jacobs shooting himself.
John Jacobson, beat my own dick.
His job is my job, dude.
The people always shout, that guy's sucking his own dish from there.
Yeah, classic.
Wow, thanks.
That's another hit.
Another hit.
30 years old.
30-year-old man.
Oh, yes, bitch.
A millionaire.
Hell fucking yes.
From
gay sex
with your father parody song.
You know, it's really not that different.
Consensual incest with your weird owl.
Yeah, sure, he knows how to play the fucking piano or whatever.
According to Save the Things.
We're better than weird Al.
Yeah, we are.
Arzong's in better than weird Al.
You know what?
Arzongs are nerdy?
Fuck out.
dude.
Our songs are a little weirder.
Honestly, they are much weirder.
Yeah, he's really not that weird.
Yeah, fuck weird out, dude.
I'm done with that motherfucker.
I honestly don't fuck with weird out.
He's here and he just swings out.
Fuck this.
I can't go anywhere anymore.
Go play your little motherfucking accordion.
You guys can't play instruments, can you?
Can you?
Adam, you play the dumbass and you pretend
I already assumed no one at the show.
Oh, so come on.
This looks like some of the stuff.
I play guitar.
My guitar hero is actually Mark Merritt.
Does he do that?
Does he play guitar?
He does it on his contact.
Yeah, I'm going to do a little blues.
That's like more embarrassing than like the Dustin Diamond sex tape.
It's like, what else am I going to do for my career?
I'm going to play blues guitar
or comedy content.
Dude, I'm about to start reading my poems at the end of gumtown.
That would be funny.
Did you guys see the Mr.
Rogers documentary?
No, but I wanted to share it.
I complained about that.
Yeah, I really hated it.
Why?
Yeah, I really hate it.
Why, dude?
Mr.
Rogers rules.
No, okay.
That's the only time I've heard that.
I don't think anybody...
You never fucked with Mr.
Rogers.
People watched it, but I mean, like, nobody loved that show.
Nobody was coming into school.
Like, people were like, Power Rangers, Transformers, and somebody's like, the switcher guy.
He didn't exist.
Nobody loved, he wasn't this beloved figure.
Mr.
Rogers taught me not to show people my dick, dude.
That's real.
Or not to let adults touch your dick.
You always want to wait until there's no snacks around.
Can I see your penis?
Can I
keep a secret?
Can you keep a secret?
I'll find you a a bike.
What's that, Mr.
Charlie?
Someone sniffed.
Jeremy is making up lies to hurt his parents.
Mr.
Charlie, why would Jeremy in?
Well, I mean, that's the tone of the documentary.
It's like, and
he didn't fuck the kids.
I know you think he probably did, but he didn't.
He was surrounded.
By the skin of our teeth, we got away.
Because all the ingredients were there, right?
Thousands of kids, thousands of puppets.
He could have done it, dude.
You don't know what was inside of the puppets.
Well, we also, they never explained where he's coming from.
It's not like he has a job, he just gets
closed me.
And he's like best friends with the policeman for some reason.
That is true.
Fuck.
He's a Pittsburgh legend, dude.
He came from the same place that the deer hunter happened.
I've been playing Russian roulette all day
to forget Vietnam.
Now I'm going to play with some puppets and kids.
Yo, them never mentioned Schittsburg around me, yo.
Fuck the Schwalers.
Fuck the Schittsburg squealers, yo.
That ain't my shit, yo.
I'll do nothing, yo, Big Ben, fucking, I respect what he did in that bathroom.
But otherwise, he is a dirty player on the field, and that is what is worse than that.
Okay?
Ray Lewis ain't do nothing wrong.
The man was out having an apartment.
My cousin works at that elevator, might be my favorite.
Yeah, that's good.
My cousin works out that elevator.
Yeah, Ray Rice ain't need shit, you know.
He works out there, you know.
He got the fucking real tapes, the ones up media ain't wanting you to fucking see.
She was being a fucking bitch.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, you mean
better yet, but
confusing elevators with international waters?
Yeah.
Sit between four is your social jurisdiction.
Floor two and a half existing.
Uh, even out of your jurisdiction in all your honesty.
Maybe you could explain to me where the crime occurred.
This
Well, you can't do that.
I'm sorry, I guess I'll just go free then.
Double jeopardy, yeah.
Double motherfucker.
If you hit her place, it's double jeopardy.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You got no such thing as domestic abuse.
It's the character saying it, not Salvator Tom.
Okay, everyone claim it up.
I don't know.
I don't know if Lamar Jackson has the leadership skills.
Yeah, there's something about him.
There is something about him.
Flacco seems like he's more of a natural leader.
There's something tangible about Flacco.
I think we should convert him to wide receiver.
The place might be too much for him, you know.
Remember I said,
he's a natural athlete.
God damn, I love fucking the raidies.
This is my son.
This is my son, Ed Reed Jr.
Now he's
so are you gonna go wheelchair or what do you think?
We've been talking about getting.
I'd love to go wheelchair dude.
We're gonna go to a grocery store to get in one of the scooters they have there.
We're just gonna steal it.
What's to stop you from stealing it, right?
Yeah.
Because what, you think the security is gonna try and hurt a handicapped person.
Right.
To get that chair.
Which is also weird that they even have those.
You're going grocery shopping and you're like, oh, yeah, I guess I am handicapped.
You just never considered it.
It's a guy.
Oh, yeah, I guess I need a wheelchair.
I drove a motorized wheelchair.
Well, they don't want the fattest people to tucker themselves out while shopping.
You know what I mean?
They want to get them fucking arrested for fucking taking as many snacks into the basket as possible.
If I'm fucking walking walking around all day, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
They trick them into using that thing, but then the cart is tinier so they can't get as much.
It's true.
It would be great to see one of those with the full-size cart.
Excuse me, I made this awesome.
Excuse me.
That's your daily actual motorized wheelchair.
It's one of those with a full-size shopping cart.
Just filled with a cornucopia snack.
I got a refuel.
I got a blood sugar issue.
Odia.
Yeah.
I just want to keep doing the voice.
Do the voice.
Okay, um, yeah, my name is Ralph, and I'm out here running for city council, yeah.
I heard you basically get immunity for how long.
We should get elected.
We should
come back to Charles and Holocaust.
We should make a fake campaign for Ralph in Harvard County and and have him run against him.
Convince Tom that Ralph exists and have him run against, and then Tom can beat this guy.
That would rule.
I would love to debate him.
Seriously, he's going to fucking elect his man, man.
Where the fuck is hairline even starting?
His head looks like a love seat.
I'm trying to fucking chill and fucking relapse on his head, man.
Watch some fucking Martin reruns on that shit.
You guys are in that district.
please vote for the tongue.
He's got to do a certain amount of time.
He says a problem with the zoning.
I don't think there's ever been a candidate in history that's run over on a platform of like, you need to change the zoning for liberal license.
For any office.
Yeah, I got kicked out of the city council meeting because my comedy is too edgy.
They couldn't handle it.
You have my fucking, you have my fucking platform, yo?
Everybody, Royal Farms ain't charging nothing.
It was free.
You can go in there whatever the fuck you want.
Don't be a fucking, you know, don't be a dick about it, but
take as much as you want.
Who gives a fuck?
You know how much fucking chicken they got in the back, yo?
That's just a, look at all the chicken in the front.
Universal basic snacks.
Yeah.
Universal snacks, you know?
Healthcare?
No, that's just expensive.
We ain't got that kind of money.
Enjoy the chicken, though.
Maybe some like corse eating coffee cold get high on.
That kind of healthcare.
Oh, yeah.
You can fucking do as much
wheel as you want.
Right.
Drink Delson until you see dead people.
I would like, yeah, what would y'all like approved from Baltimore?
Does anybody have any...
The street?
Okay, the streets.
Okay, here's what we're going to do with the streets.
If you are a bitch, you are not allowed out on the streets.
Okay?
That's number one.
So you will come to my office.
I will look at your face.
If you look like a bitch, I'm going to slap you.
And I'm going to run your pockets.
And whatever's in there, I'm buying guns for the people that are pumped.
And they will patrol the streets.
Okay?
So you're not allowed outside.
But we will make little big boy tunnels that you can go from the library to your boyfriend's house and
then then to Whole Foods and back.
Those are the three places you are allowed to go.
Okay, any other questions about what we're going to do for Baldy Moore?
Excuse me?
What?
Deanna Harbor.
Deanna Harbor.
Okay.
Yeah, first of all, Deanna Harbor is probably the cleanest place I've ever been.
You mean I clean that shit?
What?
That's where I'm fucking.
That's where I went to me and my girlfriend celebrated her dropping the charges of being her dinner.
So, you want me to fuck up that beautiful memory by cleaning some shit?
No, thank you.
I will forever remember that beautiful evening on the rusty supper where she jerked me off in the unisex handicap bathroom.
Thank you very much.
Okay, thanks.
Next question.
Next question.
Are the handicap bathrooms unisex?
Oh, yeah.
You can have sex with anyone in the handicap bathroom.
And the law can't do nothing about it.
Anybody else?
Anybody else?
Heroins?
Okay, we're going to drop the price of heroin.
Actually, you know what?
You go to the wrong forms
right next to the chicken.
You can fill up as many of the big old cups of heroin as you want.
Only one a day, okay?
Again, don't get creepy with that shit.
One more question from the audience.
Yo, fuck him the fuck out of it!
Bright as fuck!
Or else I will jump the fuck over here and fucking treat you like my dad used to treat me.
Memorial's lost.
Oh, fuck.
Alright, one more.
Just go off.
Keep going, Ralph.
Go off, Ken.
Transportation?
Where do you want to go?
Yeah.
Bro, I ain't even got it.
You're a bitch, so you're staying in the tunnels.
So
fucking tell them right away, bro.
You ain't going nowhere.
In some of the fucking Anki Ann's, we're putting a little kiosk in the tunnels from Anki Ann's.
Because everybody deserves a little cinnamon and fucking sugar.
Even a little ass bitch like you.
Anyone else?
No dumbass questions to you.
Because I'm getting fucking annoyed, you motherfucker.
yeah dude figure out a way to run against Tom
as Ralph what was that school schools
what about schools
you want them shit done I'm with you dude school is fucking gay
here's what we're gonna do we're gonna go to class okay homeroom homerooms every class
so you get in they get you get a little free breakfast and the waffles
eggo and school and then, instead of gym, we're just going to fucking
see.
Because honestly, even though school is gay, the kids got to go somewhere because I'm trying to fuck their mom.
Okay, so no more school, but we're going to have a big-ass bouncy house.
Oh, it is perfect, actually.
And then everybody's mom's got to go pick them up at 4 p.m.
every day.
But guess who's there at 3.55 saying, hello, how are you doing?
It's a motherfucking route, you know?
So, yeah.
How do you feel about child support, Ralph?
Fuck that shit, yo.
18 fucking years for one little fucking bust in somebody?
Yo, I'm sorry, I got carried away, yo.
Okay?
I'm watching Transformers as the Megan Fox on the car scene.
I'm supposed to not bust at her pussy while I'm watching that shit?
Of course I'm going to.
So, yeah, and anyway,
honestly, yo, child support is such fucking bullshit, yo?
Okay, here's what it is.
You should have to just fucking
you have to provide the child with one pair of Ravens Camo vox.
Okay?
You are legally on the hook for that.
And then every month a pack of SK pump when you cook that my butt.
That is more than enough spiritual and physical nutrition for them.
That's all the fucking...
Damn, I love P-More, yo.
I'm trying to go,
you know who got the best pussy, who knows how to get the best pussy?
Keith Mills, you know?
I'm trying to fucking get him with the radio sports guy from 98 Rock.
My man knows where all the good pussy at Parkville is, yo?
Trying to go right over behind
Overly High School's parking lot and get all the good pussy over there.
Not the hi, they ain't in high school.
They're older, you know.
How's your cousin doing, Ralph?
Seth?
Never mind, never mind, never.
Yo, I ain't never heard from that motherfucker, yo.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not his social security number.
I would be credit cards in his name every couple months, but
he doesn't care.
He doesn't cancel, so he might be down fucking them.
He might be dead, but
this shit fucking the money spent.
I'll go to Rent Center like a king every fucking
every couple months with a new Seth
fucking credit card.
Damn, yo, doing this raw voice is bumped up on regular voice.
I'm already gone to fucking.
Yeah, what if you just never come back?
And that's the injury that puts you on like 6005?
Not the foot thing?
It's that you have that voice and no one will ever hire you again.
You're ridden by sounding like that.
I'd love to live that black man's life.
It's so simple, dude.
Sorry.
And everyone breathe in?
Have you guys ever done yoga?
I went to yoga one time, and it was like really strenuous at the end.
You have to like lay down, and everyone's real quiet, and we're sitting there in a feeble position.
And the lady goes, I want you to imagine a word that brings you peace.
And my head, I'm like, pussy.
And then I just snort, laughed, and
went out of the room apologizing to everybody.
You could go back to yoga after that.
Oh, that's a classic song, dude.
She blind?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She blinded me.
She blinded me with pussy.
She blinded me.
It was pussy.
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, ba.
Just keep doing it in your head.
It'll grow on.
Well, we've got to wrap this up somehow.
We should start thinking of a way to end the shows
instead of our lives, you know?
Instead of just planning elaborate suicides, we think, how is the show going to end?
But we don't do that, so what's that?
What's that, Indonesia?
By bucking up?
By fucking up?
We'll take suggestions.
Yes, suggestions.
She said that there's a crisis in East Timor.
Oh, actually.
Yeah, woo!
You said that thing about being in yoga and thinking pussy.
I have a very embarrassing thing.
I was on mushrooms,
and I was, I took way too many, and
I just, I was tripping my fucking maps off, and then this beautiful angelic, it was like an angel with Waylaboo's face on it, right?
And it was like, it was being so nice to meet you.
It was being so nice to be able to do that.
And then I saw it and I was like, oh, I feel great, I feel fucking awesome.
And then I looked at it and I was like, damn, this is hilarious.
And in my head, this is all in my head happening, right?
Because I can control it.
I think I can control.
You should be able to control anything you want.
And I was just like, damn, it would be funny if this Winnie the Pooh said the end word.
And then,
and then, no.
No,
and no,
no, not today.
And then, and then, shh, and then then Winnie the Pooh, I swear to God,
the Winnie the Pooh that in my imagination looked at me disappointed, it disappeared!
And I was like, oh my god, that just changed my whole life.
I couldn't control like this fucking savior cartoon figure thing.
Yeah, I probably shouldn't get into Savage Slurs, but
and then I just snapped out of
Pete.
Yeah, that's how you know the show's destroyed your life.
Reaching higher planes of consciousness than it's just the half-nude bear saying Andrew.
it didn't say though, it was too embarrassing.
It literally gave me like a thing
in my head, anyway.
Okay, well, that's the show.
If you're down to that, please come out.
Actually, if you came to this show,
DM me and I will give you a promo code so you can half off tickets you should have
charlotte's bill hilariously on friday uh
we're gonna finish what you boys started today uh
and then i'm in philly sunday so if you're in not i don't know what in here probably not but if you're listening please come to those shows
this guy this guy uh i was talking to a sign that's at the show tonight he works in a brewery and he pitched bong hit transplant as a flavor of beer.
So if that comes out, I want all of you to buy it.
Please let us know.
But yeah, I think that's the fucking show, guys.
Yeah, thanks so much.
This is Bethany Frankel from Just Be with Bethany Frankl.
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