The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 19: Friendshrimp Along the Way!

In spite of what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest and towers

never stop us by having to trust That we will do what we must Until it turning out just like a plane

is long, but our mojo's strong And unless I'm wrong And I'm not, we're at the height of our power

What you how could you be Scuzz crumalot?

I mean

oh my um

I know you you saved you were at the awards gala for the

Yeah, man,

yeah, you saw me too.

I wanted wanted to be seen.

So, can I use your computer, or how are we doing?

Touch of the chaste.

I guess my question would be, what are you here to use the computer for?

Let me ask.

Well, let me.

This is so weird because I'm trying to imitate my friend Paul Foxcroft who has done this voice in pre-recorded messages, and now I'm trying to do it.

That's cute.

Does he ever do your voice, do you think?

Oh, probably.

I'm doing a terrible job at it.

He's going to be deeply offended.

Is he big on interrupting people?

Oh, sorry.

He's going to do stuff for.

Okay.

Sorry, Paul.

I can't imagine you are.

Sorry that Travis thinks that's part of the Paul character.

It's the interruptions.

So, what makes you so sure that I can't be Scuz Bucket?

Scuzz Crumala.

Precisely?

Well, I I guess I'm just confused as to why an animal hero would be reaching out to be hired for hinch work.

So.

I don't know how much you know about the

amphiborce, but

they've been keeping me on the outside for too long.

But I do have, you know,

insight into their whole thing, man.

So maybe you can let me in, and I got a little bit of extra

insight, and I could just show,

you know, the boss

wink, wink, wink, that I'm a

pearl.

Well, this is very,

very convincing argument, Justin.

So, roll 3DA for me.

I want to show

the clam

that I'm

a pearl.

Oh, yeah, No, I yes, I understand.

Which starts as an irritant.

So I think you're well on your way.

Yes.

Dad, I'm sorry you can't

in the room, and I didn't hear that because it was withering.

But unfortunately, you said it to yourself on the toilet or something.

I don't know.

I don't forget where you're at.

He's in the IT room that he's kind of turned into a toilet.

Yeah.

Oh,

Ban, sorry.

I was so deep in character.

I didn't have Roll 20 up because I had merged with the game.

Now, tell me why I have a needle with being in character.

What?

What does being in character mean you can't get on roll on a website?

Because

I'm part of it.

Like, I'm not seeing the roles anymore.

You know what I mean?

Like, I've transcended.

That's cool.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Three successes.

His hand retreats from the security call button.

Huh?

yes, I see.

You've been put down too long, pushed to the back for too long.

And now you're ready to turncoat, as it will, to

precisely, precisely.

And then

Axel Isle sits down in the chair and props his feet up on the desk.

Let me give you a few of my bonny Fidos.

I got this hatchet, man.

It's an incredible tool.

I have

better than average strength.

um pretty moist all the time can breathe in almost any environment um super hiding super exfiltration and of course he's typing this all in yeah uh really comfortable in outdoor environments uh in the dark no problem uh and what level don't have teeth

okay

please be conscious around like christmas gift giving time okay hot let's hair open pancake no hard well no hard candies okay

like

I suppose my follow-up question is what level

of crime are you comfortable committing?

Green Hill Zone.

Oh my.

Little

bit of a joke.

I'd rather not maim the innocent, you know.

I don't really feel like I could ever start a fire.

That would feel weird.

Okay.

But other than that, I could do pretty much any crime, no matter how

nasty it is, really.

I mean, I'm pretty morally...

I don't have morals, really.

I'll do any sort of nasty crimes.

Anything you need.

Basically, I'm the worst person I know.

And I'm not even a person.

And will you be operating as Axelisle or as Scus Cromalot?

So I've got a new...

thing that I've been trying to do.

I've got a new identity that I'm trying out.

Okay, Hit me,

okay.

Maxo Lile.

Oh,

it's a new rebrand, kind of all leather, black.

You know what I'm saying?

Do you pick up what I'm sort of like a leather mask as well?

Like all leather.

Every inch.

Leather, leather, leather, leather, leather.

Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow.

All over.

All right.

Covered.

Hoof to snout.

And I got neither.

All right.

full-on full black leather Max a lot

max a lot of can you imagine that that's yes, he sounds pretty in a way.

I have more of a thing listen.

Oh, okay.

He's my brother.

What?

So when people are like seems pretty suspicious, I'll say indeed it does.

He was supposed to be in jail.

That's my brother Max.

Oh, an evil brother.

Yes, excellent.

Good backstory.

I don't know if you've got any of those going around right now.

I don't want to step on any hooves or webbings or what have you.

Well, we have an evil cousin and an evil sister.

Yeah,

but no evil brothers.

This is actually

a little good slot.

Okay, well, I've taken down your information.

And I'll put you into the Rolodex, so to speak.

And you'll be hearing from us, Maxo Lotto.

Well, that's not going to do it, right?

So

I've got got cold feet.

Again, I don't, but you, metaphorically speaking, my feet are moist and maintain a pretty solid temperature and aren't technically feet.

I guess, anyway, listen, man.

I need to do crimes right now.

I'm going wild for it.

I think if I don't do it.

I think if I don't do a crime soon, I'm just going to go wild.

The evil's building up inside of me.

I've just started doing evil stuff for no reason.

Yesterday, I went to my grandma and I knocked a sandwich she worked really hard on right on the ground.

Oh, that I'm going to put that on your file actually.

Yeah, so you understand, man.

I want to put this evil to good use.

I just don't want to go around messing up people's day.

I want to make something destructive, something that with an impact.

Hmm.

Okay, well, I could get you started working.

Um,

let's see.

Um,

what's the hold up?

You tell me what I can do to knock some of these

pylons out of my way.

Let me plow into this church.

Well, you do seem to be sort of like a water-based kind of villain.

I could maybe add you in with Eopatrick Harris and Hammond and Squidmark.

Do you know them?

I

don't know if I should say I do or not.

Okay.

That's cool.

Well, hold on, I'm thinking.

Yeah.

A little bit.

Off and on.

Okay.

One of them.

Well, I could add you to their lineup and say.

They like me.

Whichever one I know is a big fan.

Don't ask.

Okay.

And then we could, you know, work your way up to maybe doing your own jobs.

I tell you what, I'd love to get a little face time with the boss if I could, just to sort of work out some of the

lowercase J's and cross cross T's and what have you.

Oh, well, I don't think that will be possible.

The boss is

very busy and

I could do a crime to you.

Excuse me?

I could do a crime to you.

I feel one building up.

Is that a threat?

It's not a threat.

It's an entreaty.

It's a cry for help.

I'm gonna do a crime.

I can feel one.

I can feel a crime.

His hand starts moving back towards the

you're not gonna need that to help you.

You won't help.

Can I please just meet clams a little more time?

I'm gonna be a huge favor.

No, I...

Oh, I am.

All right, tell you what, but sorry.

My name is Krillium.

I use the pseudonym Clamjula to arrange

these meetings.

So you are clam.

Okay, so you get it.

I'm keep my voice down because I'm assuming the whole

clam thing is incognito.

Yes, just as you're Max Lottle.

Who?

Exactly.

My brother's name is Max Lottl.

Wink?

Are you okay?

Yes, no, I have very large shrimp eyes.

Ah, all right, yes.

So I have to say wink.

I don't have eyelids.

And it's a podcast.

Listen,

do you think there's any chance that I might be able to meet the

big guy?

I'm certain I don't know what you mean.

The big guy upstairs, you know.

God?

I'm sorry, but I believe that this first meeting is over.

If you will please leave the premises.

Oh, come on.

Give me what I need.

Come on, just tell me.

I mean, Justin, that's such a a convincing argument.

Yeah, come on, please.

Come on now.

I don't want to get you in trouble, but I will.

And then I pressed the speaker button on the phone.

Oh, okay.

So now

we're silent.

Because if we talk,

it'll go all out over the whole bank.

So now it's a showdown.

He's not the principal of high school.

It's a silent podcast showdown.

Okay.

Have we heard the walrus's voice?

I don't think so.

Hmm.

So, alright.

What Axel Isle is saying with his eyebrows that he doesn't have is, hey, I'm going to tell everybody that you're Clamchala unless you will introduce me to the Walrus.

Well, Crillium doesn't have eyebrows.

But what he's saying with his antenna is, that's not possible.

That's not going to happen.

But please also don't tell anyone I'm Clamchula.

That's great.

These are two really, really solid argumentative positions you guys are holding up right now.

So mine boils.

If I could recap, kids, because in case you kids got lost in this sort of plotting, what

Axel Isla is saying is, please tell me.

Yeah.

And

what Clamjula is saying is, I don't want.

Yeah.

So,

yes, and also, Axel Isla.

I I don't want you.

I want Clangela too, but Clamjula doesn't want me to.

Right.

Because mine would move mine forward.

Right.

Right.

And that's not.

And Axal Isla is saying, I'm extorting you.

And Crillium is saying, I'm not giving you the thing you want, but also don't extort me.

Please don't.

Please don't.

All right.

I take my finger off the button.

Well played.

Why can't you tell me about the Walrus?

If I did have some connection with someone named Walrus, which I'm not saying I do, you already told me you're Clamtula.

Why are you playing Walrus?

Well, then I would get in an extreme amount of trouble, right?

Just like if I told everybody you're Clamtula, right?

Okay, so you're asking like who I'm more afraid of getting in trouble with.

Yeah, and I'll give you a hint.

It should be the person in the room with you.

All right, this is shut the lights off.

Whoa.

Because I have night vision.

Do we know that shrimps don't?

We don't think they have eyes.

I think that's where we're at right now.

When you shut off the lights with your night vision, you are able to see well enough to see that he is fumbling on the desk for the security call button.

Sorry, Travis, can I just clarify?

Is there a window to where the light is streaming?

No, this is a very private office.

Okay, it's a very private office.

Okay.

I uh

I gotta grab a grab Clangela in a three-quarter Nelson.

A three-quarter Nelson?

Yeah, a lot of people think it's illegal still, but you're absolutely allowed to if the moment arrives or you have to.

Okay, roll

3d8 for me.

Okay, so that's

Kalbunga.

5'5 Kalbunga.

You get him fully in a three-quarter Nelson before he's able to push the button.

He is panicking.

Now, listen, if I apply the last quarter, you're gonna be in a heck of a lot of discomfort here.

So why don't you come sit in this chair and tell me everything I need to know?

I can't.

I can't see the chair.

Oh,

okay.

So I'll lead.

I'll lead

Crillium over to the chair.

Sorry, sorry.

That was rude.

Oh, thank you.

Are you going to put Crillium in the other chair and I'm going to sit in Crillium's chair?

That's awesome.

Power move.

Yeah.

Are you going to kill me?

No.

Oh,

okay.

No, you're fine.

I'm.

Listen.

I

just need to do some crime.

You see how wild I am.

I've tried to do three or four crimes to you, and I don't know why.

I'm feeling really...

I'm hoping this is what I need because I'm feeling really lost and freaked out right now where I'm at in my life.

And I'm just desperate to do some crime.

And I'm desperate to meet walrus because i think that that the walrus they might see something in me that they it's raw they could mold and shape okay so i'm gonna say krillium is extremely panicked sitting here in the dark and he is fairly cowardly all things considering i'm also coming at crillium from every possible emotional angle yeah you really are i've not left anything in the screen you've got him all spun around and all he's like emotionally erect guys i don't know what i'm feeling right now i'm so torn.

I was listening to Natasha Pier and the Grit comedy 1812 before I came on here, and I'm an emotional hurricane.

Yeah, okay.

I don't know where I'm at.

I don't know my head from my hind end right now.

So, roll for me 4d8

to see how this plays out.

Okay.

I'm going to add a time to shine dice.

Okay.

So, 5d8.

So, 5d8.

And let me mark it on my little.

I have a sheet that I keep.

Travi always marks mine for me.

Will you mark mine for me, Trav?

Thanks.

I will.

Here he goes.

5d8.

Woo!

Wow, that was lucky that I did that because I got three failures and two successes, a six and a six.

Okay, on two successes, he says, okay, you've proven you're capable of great crime and you are

quite

unpredictable in a very scary way.

I will.

I will set up a meeting for you with the walrus and I'll let him figure out how to handle this.

The meeting will be

at River City First headquarters.

I'll let you know when.

I'll email back by end of day tomorrow.

Alright.

I have one more stipulation.

Oh boy.

I'm going to slide a note across the desk to you.

Okay.

And if you do not read this note verbatim, i will be forced to reveal your identity the lights are still off so i can't i will flip the lights off oh thank you okay one moment please

is it keyboard operated what's going on are you having a

i believe justin's sending me the note all right here you go here's the note here's a note i'm gonna flip the light on And then I'm gonna disappear the moment you start reading.

Oh, my, it's so bright i wish i had eyelids oh give me a second to adjust the light okay

and do you want me to read this into the speaker verbatim into the speaker

let me oh brother this is my phone number can you text me about where

oh yes yeah i'll text you so you have my number too that's great you put me in as maxillo number okay yes can you put me in his plan

just oh sure yeah keep up a problem thanks so you you prefer me to put your

yeah okay.

All right, I don't want my real name.

Now,

are you ready?

Yes.

Go.

Hey, everybody.

It's me, the big boss.

Wow.

Crazy times, huh?

Anywho, everything is totally normal.

For the minute or so,

I suppose the next minute.

Next minute or so, close your eyes and your ears.

I love you.

What do we see out in the lobby?

All right.

All right.

I think you guys know your key.

You got one minute to exfiltrate.

I'm 10 feet from the front door as the crow flies with no sus on me whatsoever.

I'm fine.

This is going to be, I made it even easier, Griffin.

Can you imagine?

Yeah, you see everybody kind of shrug and be like, okay.

And so like the sidebot that was with you, the teller closes their eyes.

Todd Johnson is unconscious from the powerful fire that Dad let out.

And everybody's doing it?

Yeah.

He's the boss.

Okay, then I take a bunch of money.

In fact, Travis, $1 million

from the bank manager.

They keep it.

They keep it in the bank manager's office.

They let me back there.

Remember?

I'm behind the teller window.

I'm in the bank manager's office.

Yeah, but the vault is still sealed.

There's cash lying around in big piles everywhere.

I've seen the bank.

Yeah.

Everybody has their eyes and ears closed.

say I steal a million dollars.

You can steal without trying to break into the vault.

You do see in the storage room, ready to grab, just bags of free lollipops.

Deal.

Okay.

Better than nothing.

You drive a hard bargain.

Everybody making their way out?

Safety pops or regular?

Yeah, no, they have the loop.

Yeah, they have the looped handle.

I say

for me because with the no teeth.

Yeah.

So good luck with the water.

You guys got to get those pipes checked.

And I'll scoot out the front door.

And Roger and Artie

come bursting out of the stinky IT office,

make their way through the lobby.

The only thing that slows Roger down is he tries to take a pin and does a pretty funny whoa!

Boom!

Oh, because of the chain.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

And then he makes his way out the door.

When you exit the

I take all the pins I can grab too on the way out just to show him his boss.

They are chains.

Oh, okay.

You see three pens on chains, but the chains aren't attached.

I have huge muscles, though, so I'm just going to yank them all.

That's cool.

Okay, cool.

Don't do this for bad.

Don't do this.

By the way, kids, all this theft and stealing, don't do this because crime is wrong.

I mean, banks are insured and not your friends.

That's the message we want to get about.

Hey, kids.

Hey, kids.

Banks.

Banks are insured.

Stealer is okay if the victim is insured.

Right, okay.

Yeah.

I mean, if they take tons of money from people,

they would steal your money without a second thought.

Okay, you reach the outside, and as you clear the door, Roger,

you begin to feel strange.

Oh,

um,

you're smelling not farts, and you don't know what to do.

Hey,

look,

oh, look, look, look, look at that vacuum cleaner.

Oh, that vacuum cleaner.

It's dancing.

Look, it's doing a jig.

Oh, my.

And Roger.

You see?

Roger collapses.

Yes, he has lost his coordination.

He is stumbling and he collapses before you.

What?

What?

What?

Roger?

Are you conscious?

Roger.

Roger's not conscious.

Hey, everybody, this is Griff Macaray, Dungeon Master, your best friend and your dungeon master and your best friend and your dungeon master.

Hey, some quick announcements here before you get back to the rest of the episode.

Did want to tell you that we have one more leg of our 20 Thunder Drive tour coming to Salt Lake City and San Diego.

We're going to be doing Mabimbam in Salt Lake City and Mabimbam and Taz in San Diego.

Tickets for all of those shows are on sale now over at bit.ly slash McRoyTours.

Come out and see us.

Come help us close out this year of touring.

And we're going to, we've got some fun stuff planned.

So we also got some merch up in the merch store.

Have you been there?

Have you been in the merch store?

Have you been there in a while?

It's at macroymerch.com.

There's all kinds of great stuff over there, including a new Geral shirt designed by Lynn Doyle that I am absolutely just wild about.

And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ community.

Hey, we also have a newsletter.

We don't talk about it much, but if you want to keep up to date on all the stuff that we're doing, because because we are doing a lot of stuff, you can sign up over at bit.ly slash McRoy newsletter and be the first to know about new tour dates and projects and everything else that we're doing, all the pies we got our sticky little fingers in.

Okay, enjoy the rest of the episode.

Bye.

If you've been listening to us for a while, you know that we are dads and dad enthusiasts, whether it's coming at you live from the dad lands or just kind of celebrating our own fatherhood journeys.

We're all about that dad life.

You know who else is?

Dungeons and Daddies.

Dungeons and Daddies is not a BDSM podcast.

They sent over some copy here to help us with this little cross promo, and I guess that is sort of important.

They don't want you barking up the wrong tree.

What it is is a DD podcast about four dads from our world flung into a land of high fantasy and magic in a quest to rescue their lost sons.

If you like Taz, and if you're listening to this, I hope you do,

then you're probably going to vibe with Dungeons and Daddies.

They are extremely light on the rules, extremely heavy on chilling and having a good time.

They've got three seasons, the third of which is wrapping up right now.

And you can listen to them wherever you listen to podcasts or find them on YouTube.

Check out Dungeons and Daddies, because again, if you're a TAS listener and you've enjoyed our work, we bet you you're gonna like them too.

This episode of the Adventure Zone is brought to you by Squarespace.

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Hi, I'm Alexis.

I'm one of the co-hosts of Comfort Creatures and I'm here with River Jew, who has been a member since 2019.

Thank you so much for being a listener and a supporter of our show.

Yeah, I can't believe it's been that long.

Yeah, right?

As the Max Fun member of the month, can I ask what sort of made you decide to be a member?

I used to work in a library, so I just used to listen to podcasts while I reshelved all the books.

Really helped with

doing meeting at work.

So I just wanted to give back to what's been helping me.

Yeah.

It feels good to be part of that.

As the member of the month, you will be getting a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fun store, a member of the month bumper sticker, and you also, if you're ever in Los Angeles, you can get a parking spot at the Max Fun HQ just for you.

Yay!

I'm actually going to LA in September, so I'll get to use the parking.

Yes!

Thank you so much, River, for doing this.

This has been an absolute blast.

Yeah, of course.

I've been so glad to be able to talk to you too, and I'm so excited to be a member of the month.

Yay!

Become a Max Fund member now at maximumfund.org slash join.

Hey, everybody, I'm Jeremy.

I'm Oscar.

I'm Dimitri.

And we are the Euro Evangelists.

We're a weekly podcast spreading the word of the Eurovision Song Contest, the most important music competition in the world.

Maybe you already heard Glenn Weldon of NPR's pop culture happy hour talk up our coverage of this year's contest.

But what do we talk about in the offseason?

The rest of Eurovision, duh.

There are are nearly seven decades of pop music history to cover.

We've got thousands of amazing songs, inspiring competitors, and so much drama to discuss.

And let me tell you, the drama is juicy.

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Check out Euro Evangelists, available everywhere you get podcasts, and you could be a Euro Evangelist too.

Ooh, I want to be one.

You already are.

It's that easy.

Okay, cool.

You've just completed this exfiltration, but Roger has collapsed before you.

Speaking gibberish, uncoordinated.

What do you do?

I scoop him up.

Scoop him up in my arms, my big burly arms, and take off for our,

you know, our

Honda Civic or whatever, a Hyundai Elantra with a robot ball on it to get out of here.

Uncle Tinus, Oh, I love you so much.

When you reach your car, Navy, your phone starts to buzz.

Yeah.

I'll put it on speaker.

Yep, you got Navy.

Hello?

Yes, hello.

It's Dr.

Travis Barker.

You know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

Um, have you completed?

I we're waiting for you here at JJ Argus' house.

Um okay, we're just we're literally just walking away from the mission.

We have not even had a chance to debrief and we have a man down.

So uh, can I call you back?

What happened?

Was someone injured?

I don't...

It's Roger.

He just kind of like collapsed.

I don't know.

It's weird.

We got to get him to...

I don't know.

How long has it been since he had his Musely X?

I don't know.

I don't keep track of that for him.

Does he have any on him?

I've got to search his pockets.

You find a bunch of, like, lint and stuff he's picked up.

and things that he clearly thought would be important.

Roger, where's your Roger?

Listen, where's your Musely X, man?

In a white room with black curtains.

Alright.

He said the Musley X is in a white room with black curtains.

Do you know what that means, Doc?

Yes, it's Dr.

Snarth's office.

I'll have Dr.

Snarf meet us here.

Hurry.

Hurry.

Alright, let me call the plane.

The what?

I don't know.

I just thought maybe we had a plane that I forgot about.

Where would it land?

We're in the middle of the city.

Vitoll.

Vitoll.

Vitoll.

I knew we didn't have a VTOL.

No, I just wanted...

Well, we do have Neil.

We have Neil.

Is that our best transport?

It's calling Neil to give us a rental.

We have our car.

We can drive it, Dean.

Dean, sorry, not Neil.

Dean.

Where did we park?

I guess it would be here, right?

There's no reason our parking lot is.

Your key fob.

It's like three cars down from the doorway of the bang.

Yeah, not discreet.

Yeah, I want to get in the car and gun it for JJ Aga's house I assume they sent us a pin

Yes, they've given you the address you make your way to JJ August house you arrive at the same time as dr.

Snarf who runs up with the bowl you must eat you need to eat Roger.

He's not responding.

Hold hold his mouth open.

I'll chew that's all true He taught me about cud once.

All right, let me hold him up.

I'm gonna keep him elevated so that he doesn't get choked i'll spray a little bit of water in his mouth to help with the digestion it's gotta be saliva it's gotta be saliva

okay here comes the train into the station help him too heavy listen timeout time out on everything ever

If I have to keep hearing anymore, it's the worst noise I've ever heard.

I don't want to hear dad as a cow being forced to eat cereal by six hands.

That's the worst sound I've ever heard.

If I have to hear it anymore, I will, outside of continuity, quit this show.

God specifically requested this exact scene play out.

So it's really just.

Travis, listen.

Travis, listen.

I have these script pages that he sent over, okay?

I know.

I can't, I have it.

All right.

I just, I'm saying I'm not comfortable with the foley.

Yeah.

And I shouldn't, I'm a professional.

I shouldn't be forced.

I can't take that.

Would you rather we add it in and post?

Yeah.

No, the kids shouldn't have to hear that either.

Okay.

It should be banned.

Okay.

How's it?

How's this?

That's better.

It's better.

Okay.

My mistake.

Why are you looming?

Roger, when you joined the team and filled out this sort of like medical like background paperwork, you did not include on there that if you don't eat this special cereal at regular intervals, you'll die.

And I feel like, and that's, we can accommodate that for sure, but it's good for us, your best pals and co-workers, to know this kind of stuff.

Well, I must admit, I was so

into the character of Wink Martin Whale,

I just lost track of Roger.

You blacked out in the booth, it happens, but you gotta, you you gotta let us know those no secrets nothing to be ashamed of i also

we're i was gonna say family but that seems like an overreach we are though

co-workers and acquaintances yeah what

gentlemen i

do here have kind of a

nightmare of a mouse a nightmare mouse

silly kind of thing a nightmare sound hole from which no joy could ever escape again well It's me.

Dr.

Starf.

Yes, in order for you to be able to chew the BCX, Navy SEAL spit in your mouth a lot.

Oh, my God.

That's so awful.

That's so heinous, and I hate being a part of it.

To save your life on that one was me, because I said it had to be saliva.

And I just decided that I didn't have to.

And now we zoom into the house.

It's five minutes later.

Zoom into my bank account.

It's empty.

Everybody canceled everything.

Nobody likes us anymore.

when you reach the front door dr travis barker aka loveless opens the door for you uh yes come in come in come in do you have any this dereen or

i have a loss in a fisherman's friend if you want to switch that around yeah let me have a loss hey no no no worries i got a lollipop oh wow holy

crap where did you get all those yeah no biggie i'd rather not say pretty sure it was a federal these all have bank logo on them yeah not for long long.

Is that pineapple?

Do you have a pineapple?

Right, I slurp the logo off all of them.

They're clean.

How dare you give dad a hard time about his mouth fully?

And then seconds later, slurp on a lollipop.

And mine is brief enough that you know I'm in on the joke of how bad it sounds.

In addition to that, giving dad taking

$4,999.

And then

you wanting to steal a million and it's cold.

Candy, free candy.

Free candy.

That's not.

Yes.

Please join me here.

Yeah, what's so urgent?

Well, I feel that we need to talk to somebody.

Maybe bring another person in here.

And JJ August is at the table.

Oh, hey, what's up, JJ?

Oh, hi.

Welcome to my home.

I see you didn't take your shoes off at the door.

That's fine.

Have a

seat.

We actually came straight from a job.

Do you mind if I use your seal toilet?

It's just a regular toilet.

Do you need toilet?

Do you have an axolotl toilet?

Do you guys need special toilets?

We need to use your seal toilet, your axolotl toilet, and your cow toilet.

Can we use those real quick?

I hope it's the same as regular toilets because that's all we have.

But yeah, if you want to take a quick, take, take a quick 10-1.

Okay, because Travis is unwilling to engage with this, I will take over briefly as the ZK.

Cool.

Okay, yeah, please.

This is a new man.

If I could just have like one moment.

Yeah.

Okay.

All bathroom related though.

Don't overstep.

Yeah.

Just this, just this one.

Griffin, you open a door to the toilet.

And that is what every toilet is in the Admiral's world.

It is an incredible multi-prong, multi-armed toilet solution.

Cool.

It

has at least 16 holes for the really, really nice models.

Sprayers, galore, fragrances.

It will put out, like spread out bedding yeah, and then scoop up the bedding like like hey it has several aperture settings

There are aperture settings, yeah, cool

And that's the turlet, and that's what everybody in the animal's world is able to put something in here sweet

on the on the gold embossed logo on the outside it says everybody in this world could put something in here glad you seized control for that okay it's five minutes later all right now we're i think now i think we're ready for the big the big uh the big reveal i don't actually know what you all called us here for um and loveless takes off the dr barker mask well here's the thing i think it's it's it's important i look over at jj just out of curiosity oh she knows just like okay yeah i thought she was free i thought no she

um and i think we might need a little help and you hear the front door open and a man comes in and he has a big bushy beard and dark glasses and he's got a cabby hat on and he's like oh hi i'm

hello and jja says this is my uh stepdad um stan and he says oh yeah stan stan peoples nice to meet you

stan you're among friends which member of the green bank guardians are you Oh,

I don't, uh, and then he looks over and he sees Loveless unmasked and he's like, oh, okay.

Are we?

It's cool?

Okay.

And he takes off his big bushy beard wow his sunglasses what and his cabby hat wow and standing before you is newton the party boy of the green pack guardians hey what's up dudes i grab the nearest bag and start breathing into it in and out very quickly all right you think that's good check this out and axelog grabs the bomb of his face and just like tugs for like five seconds now i'm just kidding oh

i was so in it dude

Can you imagine, though?

I was so ready.

It would have been something new.

Hey, so sweetie, why am I...

He's talking to JJ August.

Sweetie, why?

I'm glad you got friends over.

Do you want some pizza rolls or something?

You want me to make some...

What's going?

What is...

What's all this about, fellas?

I would slam some pizza rolls.

Oh, sure, let me put some pizza rolls in the oven.

I just want you to know...

Are you asking the Green Bank Guardians to make you pizza rolls?

He offered, and it's rude to say no.

I'm

every personality quiz I take, I always, I do get caught, I'm always sort of more of a carver, but I think of myself as a Newton rising, and it is an honor to meet you.

Your carefree attitude is a light in the darkness for me in a lot of my worst moments.

Oh,

and yeah, any friends of my little June, July over there, or friends of mine?

And you see JJ say, I don't stand, don't there's no hold on, there's no way that's what JJ stands for.

Yeah, my mom, May, August, name three.

These names are so good, Trap.

I'm so, uh, I'm so into it.

Okay, all right, so, okay.

How much does everyone know?

At this point, when you ask that question, Newton says, um, like about making pizza rolls, dude, or like how much I just got here.

Okay.

Um, I'll start.

Crillium is Clamdula.

Oh.

And Clamdula is...

Part of it.

Clamdula is

sort of a go-between for the Walrus.

And we've got

a face-to-face.

I managed to line up.

The details of which should be coming through any moment.

Okay.

Cool.

And what's the...

And Loveless interrupts this.

I hadn't gotten to tell my friends yet.

I just wanted to pass that along.

And you can know, too.

I thought I'd be excited for it.

Hey.

Incredible work.

I heard it all.

You really leaned on Trillium in a way that was threatening, but not over the top.

And that is a really tricky needle to thread.

And I think you did it superbly.

And Lovelace turns to Newton and says,

Newton, the Walrus has Carver.

And Newton drops the tray of frozen pizza rolls he was about to to put in the oven.

Oh, oh, oh, okay, that let me help you with that.

Oh, yeah, sorry, dudes.

His carver opened.

Okay.

I mean, he's a big, strong turtle, man, so, I mean, he's probably holding up better than the average bear.

My apologies.

Tortoise man, and so he's probably hanging in there stronger than the average bear, but time is of the essence.

We've been trying to get a move on with this thing.

Okay, yeah, let's go get him, dudes.

What are we doing, Santa Rey?

Where is is he?

We don't know, he's with the walrus, and we're trying to make contact with the walrus.

That was what we just did, and so it sounds like we're gonna get an email here just any second.

Okay, well, you said you had scheduled a face-to-face with him, right?

So, where that's that's where Carver is.

Let's go.

Where did you schedule where's the meeting?

I waiting.

The details will be coming through.

Well, he told you that it would be at River City first, HQ.

Okay, it'll be when it finally happens, it'll be at River City first, HQ.

Ah, shell no.

Why, what's wrong with that?

Well, it's

when they did River City First HQ, they repurposed Dr.

Kildeath's, like, you know, secret headquarter base.

It's that place is a fortress, dude.

You obviously have not been following our exploits.

There's no such thing as a fortress to us.

Um, I do want to

boost us and say that we can do whatever we put our minds to.

Absolutely.

I do think that this particular one is going to be difficult to fart our way into.

So

if you guys have any advice on how to get in there, I mean, it sounds like we'll have an invitation, so walking in is not going to be a problem.

Getting Carver and getting out, that will be, I imagine, considerably trickier.

Well, if farts are off the table, yes, let's hear their input.

What?

Farts are never off the table.

I would never tie your hands behind your back like that.

You have a set of skills that make you unique, and that's powerful.

Thank you.

And Newton turns to Levinson and says, well, dude, why don't we just go straight to the source, man?

And Levin says,

that, I think, might be a little trickier than we want, Newton.

What are you talking about?

Well, just go get the layout and the blueprints from Dr.

Kill Death.

But that's why would Dr.

Kildeath be willing to volunteer those source?

Oh, he's an old friend of ours at this point, man.

Dr.

Kill Death is a friend of yours.

Well, once he retired, dude, he really chilled out.

You fought him a lot, though.

Yeah, but at this point, he's totally chill.

I mean, at this point, Lamar lives with him.

Oh, wait, am I supposed to

say that?

You're

Lamar's alive too?

Yeah, dude.

Well, you know, he's pretty messed up, like, after the team broke up and everything.

So he's been, you know, living in Dr.

Kilda's poolhouse.

You gotta understand,

the rest of us sort of went within the span of, oh, how long's it been?

A few weeks' time, thinking that you all had beefed it to now knowing all of y'all are alive and living secret lives.

Oh, sorry, man.

Do you need something like lemonade or like a ginger ale or something?

I just want to...

I mean, I mourned you, dude.

Oh, bummer.

I went to the...

The world mourned you.

We went to the wake that they threw for all four of you when they

didn't say we were dead, dude.

Everyone.

You just disappeared.

Why?

Why did you guys go dark?

Well, that's a long story, dude.

And it starts...

Like this.

Hold wait.

How long?

Because we do need to get to this place.

I don't know, like 10 to 15 minutes.

Perfect.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

And I'm going to tell it right

now

after this episode break.

Oh, wait, here there's a bit more here.

Okay, everybody, thanks for indulging me.

You can go back to doing whatever you were doing.

Banks are so wild if you think about it, huh?

Why are we keeping all the money here when there are people out there who really need it out there?

Gosh, really makes you think, huh?

Anyhow, everybody gets a 10% raise.

Great note, Justin.

I really loved reading it.

I'm actually sad there's no more of it to read.

You're such an inspiration to me every day.

Wow, what a hero.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.

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