The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 15: Covert Cops!

In spite of what you've heard, we're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest towers

by having to trust that we will do what we must Until it's turning out just like when

we're selling

But our mojo's strong And unless I'm wrong And I'm not We're at the height of our power

We return to the action.

We're back in the River City First Enforcement Headquarters.

Axel Isle and Navy SEAL are hiding in a coat rack that they have pretended to be a coat rack robot.

I think we've become the coat rack.

You've become the coat rack.

You're more coat rack than abnormals.

You're half man, half animal, half Ko-Rack.

We dwell in both worlds and are master of both.

Oh, man, rack, rack.

Meanwhile, nature's greatest wonder.

Nature's greatest wonder.

Hey, God, if y'all haven't seen The Stupids yet, probably our podcast is incomprehensible.

I don't know why you haven't watched it.

Did you guys know Bug Hall turned out to be a huge piece of garbage?

A real?

Yeah, man.

What a bummer.

Yeah, right?

More like Big Bang.

Who would have thought from a man named Bug turned out to be a stinker.

So Roger Moore shimmying around in the air ducts.

He has just looped the camera feed to show, I guess, being blocked by a Ko Rack.

So that is covered.

You stole an ID from off of a desk.

You need to get the scanner.

You need to get that door open.

Roger needs to get out of the vent.

You've got Squid Mark and Hammerned at processing.

They are agitated.

Eel Patrick Harris is singing like a bird over in the interrogation room.

What do you do?

So, the

four cubicles, those are just like

four desks making a square shape.

And those are not walls, right?

Correct.

It's a bullpen.

These are all just desks out in the open.

So they can see where the vent is, correct?

Correct.

Okay.

Okay, Roger's going to move to

the back to the duct, the the air vent

and

I think he's gonna wait for

man rack to

do you need a distraction well either a I see I don't know how I'm gonna get all the way down there and around and through that gate into those stairs without some kind of distraction you let us worry

You let us worry about that.

Okay, I'm going to wait here in place until you guys do

something.

How's it?

Okay, there's a first.

I'm doing nothing.

Okay, perfect.

Why don't we swing around and we can pick him up in the man rack?

I think we can fit one more.

I think we can fit one more guy.

There's room.

Well, there's already an unconscious enforcement agent.

Oh, you're right.

We've already do.

Listen.

Listen.

Is the vent...

Travis.

Hey, Travis.

Yeah.

How high up is the vent?

Is it on the ground?

It's on the ground, right?

Or is it on the ceiling?

It's on the ceiling.

It's pretty high up.

It's on the ceiling.

Okay.

Okay.

If you imagine this like a drop ceiling, right?

So it's not like at ceiling level.

It's about six feet off the ground.

Okay, great.

Okay.

Uh, yeah.

All right, here's what we're going to do.

And let's start rolling over towards the vent.

Cool.

This is awesome.

Okay, as we round the ID scanner, can I go ahead and like, since we're right here, can I just swipe the ID card?

So wait, hold on.

Griffin, I just want to make sure the sequence from Squidmark's perspective.

Squidmark is standing on the back of the bag.

Squidmark is watching as a sentient coach hanger rolls over in front of him.

And

nobody thinks this is aware of me, Squidmark.

I'm the only one.

Guys, you guys have established that it's a robotic, remember?

That's true.

Wait, if we're passing close to Squid Mark, I whisper to Squidmark.

You should know.

I'll pretend to be Man Rack also.

We can both be Man Rack.

Okay.

Your friend is selling you up the river.

What?

Eel.

The eel, ma'am.

He is totally ranting you out right now in interrogation room number two.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, man.

It's true,

man.

Is that...

Is the coat?

Is the coat rack talking to me?

Sorry, I got one of the coats too close to the scanner and i beeped it

i'm not supposed to be capable of faults but i guess this was um an error check this out check this out i have been hacked

i have been hacked by the walrus google go too eel patrick harris has to be stopped

give me a roll

yeah man yeah

um

now here's the thing you are not lying

Oh, you're lying about being hacked by the walrus, but you're not lying about...

Hold on, wait, wait, wait.

I'm lying about being a man rack, robot, AI, coat rack.

There's definitely some

lying elements.

He's lying about being a seal that is

lying about being.

I'm a dude pretending to be a seal, pretending to be a coat rack, pretending to be another dude.

Absolutely.

Let's give him...

Let's...

Okay.

Yeah, sure.

How about...

Oh, to sell it, can I make like a little internet noise with my siren song as established that that is something I can do?

Yep.

Hack established.

Okay, any additional dice?

Yeah, I mean, that would be 3d8 if I'm allowed to use siren songs.

Yes, you are.

Let's go ahead.

This is so stupid.

I'll do one time to shine to bump me up to four.

Here we go.

One success is bad,

but it's not as bad as no success.

Okay, with a partial success, so he is up in arms about the idea.

He doesn't quite buy the hacked Walrus thing,

but the idea of being sold out by his friend, by his co-conspirator, is definitely upsetting.

And he stands up and starts to struggle with the guards.

Awesome.

Trying to make it to Hammernet and telling them, like,

all right, wait, I think we're getting sold out.

Where's the thing?

And so they start causing quite a commotion.

Great.

When that happens, Roger drops down through the vent to the floor.

At that exact same moment that he's doing that, before he did that,

the second before, I threw Hatchet Man at the camera.

What the?

The camera is disabled.

You don't have to camp.

The camera's been taken care of.

Wait, we did?

Yeah, I put a loop on it, remember?

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, that's good.

Okay, I use my

magic to retract it.

Okay.

I use the time turner.

Awesome.

Cool.

Yeah, so you successfully caused a distraction.

Mostly, it's Squid Mark and Hammernet fighting with the guards.

About my dad is still yelling down.

Yeah, he's still yelling about wanting to speak with whoever's in charge down there at the bottom.

So he's got those people distracted.

Right now, the commotion of Hammernet and Squid Mark talking about their treatment and that this is entrapment and habeas corpus

and

Hammernet's just yelling objection, objection.

quite the distraction all right great and then roger's gonna funky worm

uh keeping low to the ground he's gonna do the funky worm so he can reach uh man rack now you there is a distraction so there's no risk of getting caught here but i do want you to roll

to man rack man rack was to hide you i mean we are right in front of the the door so i figure we can i want to see how well dad does the work funky worms yeah yeah sure okay

so since i'm a dancer that's got to be at least 4d8.

It's 3d8.

I'll give you 3d8.

Okay.

Here we go, funk.

Eight, seven, and three.

With two successes, you become the worm.

You are half cow, half man, half worm.

Your body undulates in an incredibly convincing, worm-like manner.

If anyone didn't know any better, I mean, listen, it's up to you guys, but it might even be that Lyle and Navy are confused for a moment.

What is going on?

Who is this worm man?

We got a new player in the space.

And the three of you.

Welcome to the disco.

Welcome to the disco, new hombre.

My handle is excellent.

What's your analyt handle?

I am.

Oh, let's see.

Wait, Roger?

Oh my god, it's Roger.

I know.

Remember, Master of Infiltration, disguise...

Um...

You gotta warn us when you're gonna turn into a worm like that.

I thought a witch cast a spell on you for you.

Call me Funky Worm.

Okay.

I'd rather not.

Are we ready to go down these stairs or what?

Funky Worm's ready.

Okay, I swipe the ID scanner.

Can we all kind of slip down here?

Yeah.

Okay, what are we...

Wait, what are we gonna do with our unconscious guy?

Leave him here in the rack.

Okay, that's great.

I see no problems with that.

Rack,

listen.

I just want to say

thank you, Rack.

You are welcome.

Our time together has been really amazing, and you've helped us out of so many jams.

You have helped me realize so much about myself.

That's cool.

That's so good.

I have gained sentience.

I thought that you might.

Do you swear to be are you like best friends with us still?

Best friends forever.

So you'll stay here and just absolutely go 100% bonkers.

And it could cause a huge ruckus if there's any risk of them tracking us, right?

Kobot

between new friends and oath.

No, Kobot, that's why I established before I asked that we were best friends forever.

If you had minced oaths, you should have thought about that 30 seconds.

Kobot is committed to.

No, no, no, it's not.

And your allegiance was clear before.

I made it clear your allegiance before the request was issued.

Kobot cannot handle logical fallacy.

You can stand up.

His circuits burn out.

And now he's just a regular Kobrak again.

I thought I taught a rack to you.

I taught a rack to love, but I flew it too close to the sun.

I made him believe in love so much that he died from it.

Truly, it was music that soothed the savage wreck.

Okay, you swipe the path and you hear feet and the doors unlock.

I can't believe I killed my best friend.

You know, there's a lot of talk about tragic backstories in role-playing game.

Not a lot of tragic mid-stories.

Yeah.

Tragic mid-sections?

I don't know.

It was my fault for believing him so much.

That's what happens, kids.

And you head down the stairs towards evidence storage and digitization.

Digitization is going to take all our jobs, man.

I hear one of my cats upstairs crying.

You know what they're upset about.

Just like the state of things and whatever.

I don't like the state of things.

No, they're only ever wanting one thing, and that's for me to get the smalls out.

Dad, we don't know how to...

Yeah, they love the smooth bird.

Dad, we want our smooth bird.

We don't have jobs.

We can't buy our own food.

We don't know how to order things.

Dad, we're so scared.

We're cats, and we've gained complete human intelligence.

What's happening?

Where are we?

Yeah.

Where are we?

But you know what?

I calm them right down with smalls because you're going to get a package of smalls, right?

You're going to open it up.

You're going to put it in front of your cats there, put it into a bowl, whatever you're going to, I don't know your business.

But when you put it out there, these cats are going to freak out.

And you're also going to see some long-lasting effects.

In my experience, at least, my cats have been a little healthier.

They've had a nice, nice-looking coat, and they just love, they love smalls.

They love it.

Smalls cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free ingredients.

And it's delivered right to your door and cats.com named it their best overall cat food and get this after switching to smalls 88 of cat owners report overall health improvements for smalls food that's a big deal

for a limited time only because you are i was really proud of that justin i was really proud

sorry trav that was great thank you for a limited time only because you're an adventure zone listener you can get 60 off your first smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash adventure that's 60 off when you head to smalls.com slash adventure plus free shipping.

Again, that's smalls.com slash adventure.

Hey, this week we're coming to, sorry to interrupt.

I just kind of burst in.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Hey, I'm also sorry.

I'm also sorry.

And I'm here and I'm interrupting too.

If you're coming to

our shows this week in San Antonio and Austin, thank you.

If you're not already planning on coming, why not?

We want to see you there.

We need you there.

Join us.

What are you doing?

It's so great.

Yeah.

If you're coming to the show and you want to have a question, you

got a question you want answered, you want a fear read aloud?

We got you.

Email that to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line in Austin.

And also doing what, Trav?

What are we doing in Austin, buddy?

Well, we're doing Adventure Zone versus Hercules, and it's going to be a real treat.

You're going to feel happier than you've ever felt in your entire life.

Yeah, we're also coming to Utah and California later this year.

Tickets for all those shows are on sale now.

More info and and ticket links are available at bit.ly forward slash McElroy Tours.

Oh, we also have new merch because it's a new month.

Yeah.

New month, new merch, new you.

Well, yeah, sort of.

We've got a brand new Gerald t-shirt over there designed by Lynn Doyle.

Go to macroymerch.com.

Check it out.

And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ community.

So go to macroymerch.com to get yours now.

You know, we've been doing My Brother, My Brother, Me for 15 years.

And

maybe you stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listen.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no.

No, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah.

You don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things which is what we talk about on my brother my brother and me we serve it up every monday for you if you're listening and if not we just leave it out back and goes rotten so check it out on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcasts

all right we're over 70 episodes into our show let's learn everything so let's do a quick progress check have we learned about quantum physics yes episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined!

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Ooh.

Oh, man.

Wow.

All right.

Wow.

Hey, Trap.

Yeah.

For the record, I don't think I've ever seen more donuts than this in my entire life.

I've always wanted to look at this video donuts donuts at once and I feel like I'm fine.

Travis has just taken us into a room that looks like a storage place.

It's a small sort of square chamber.

There's a couple coppers down here and we'll cover that in a second.

But there's also what looks like one, two, eight,

twelve racks

of each

rack containing about 60 donuts.

Oh, those are

no way.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Trav, I apologize.

Enhancing.

Oh, you know what?

They might be books, actually.

Those are books, but I can see it now.

You can see it, can't you?

That they look like boxes of books.

They're book boxes.

Yeah, now on a second glance, but those are bookshelves.

Dang it.

All right.

I was confused while you guys were talking about donuts.

I was so excited, man.

Look at all these different varieties you had.

Okay.

Well, it's not donuts, but it's books about donuts, maybe.

Yeah.

There's

you can find the one book about donuts in this room.

You'll have unlocked the puzzle.

Okay.

Okay.

The three of you make your way down the stairs past the security door, and you enter a much less kind of flashy, up-to-date, you know, organized area.

You've entered digitization and evidence storage.

There's, you know, a couple lights out.

This is clearly like the purgatory to where they send like any agent or clerk that has, you know, gained their boss's disapproval.

In front of you, you see several boxes labeled evidence waiting to be sorted.

You see racks and racks of files and notebooks all about different cases, different investigation.

You see server towers lining a wall, some in the middle.

There's definitely like kind of a buzzing noise of the cooling fans of these server towers.

You see directly in front of you as you are coming down the stairs, a security monitor station.

This is the person who has been tracking the cameras.

Their back is currently to you, and you can see their kind of large gossamer-like wings, definitely of like an insect variety, sticking out from their backs.

Currently, they're facing away from you.

You can't immediately see Goshua from where you're standing, but you can definitely hear like some rummaging around and the occasional like grunting noise or affirmation noise as someone is like sorting through things.

Okay, a little dramatic irony here.

I Griffin know Gashua Darnett's in the room

but we don't.

Our characters don't.

And that's

tricky.

Listen, guys, there's not much to hide around down here.

I think we got to go at this in a sort of

subterfuge direction, a little deception.

I think it's just just three men this time, no baby.

All right, leave the baby at home for this one.

I mean, there's some boxes.

I guess we could climb in it and do it, you know, return to the solid snake well if we want to, but there are three boxes there.

Yeah,

but we're not going to be able to, it would take us forever to find you know the evidence that we're specifically looking for down here without a little bit of help.

So let's silver-tongue it and um

yeah.

I got a different idea.

Awesome.

I support that.

What if we just beat the stuffing out of both of these two, huh?

Well,

that is one option.

There's two people down here, and there's three of us.

So it seems to me that we could also use

our brawn over brains.

Right.

So that is going to, I would say, triple our felony count.

Right.

Only if we get caught.

Wow.

Yes, I love that energy.

Okay, but the first guy maybe didn't see our face, so we're still in the clear on that particular felony.

Okay.

We would have to kill, I think, the guys in here because there's no way they don't see us.

All right.

How about this?

How about Roger?

No, no, how about.

This is what Roger's going to do.

Yes.

Whoa, okay, yeah.

No more preamble.

Roger is going to climb under one of the boxes.

There's an empty one there.

I can see because it's open.

He's going to invert it, get get under it uh-huh and slide across to take a position at the north end of the row of

great big

cases you're blending in with the evidence yes becoming one with it

so roger is going to get under this box

and then move to a position just north of this box just to kind of keep an eye out for

whoever

is on the other side of that that row of boxes separate that we can hear but that we haven't been able to see okay great yeah give me a 2d8 roll

to see how well you do that

Wow five and a seven that is two successes you are able

is on the move yeah sometimes the dice tell a story and they know that this is Roger's area of expertise You may get to the box, you're under the box, without being noticed by either the insect man or Goshua, who you assume is the one sorting through boxes and filing.

Now, as far as the box moving,

that is going to be a separate role

because it's going to be difficult for that not to be weird.

Well, nobody's looking at him.

With the box moving, as you were able to do it without being noticed, I'm going to give you 3d8 to get in position.

Wow.

Holy moly.

Oh, my God.

Jackpot.

That's a jack.

That's got to be something also.

37.

Sure, I'm glad I'm using these now to move a box.

Isn't that something Trive Triple says?

Say, it is something.

You're right, man.

That summons angels in biblical speeches, but I don't know how you could represent that, and nor should you.

I think that's blasphemous.

Yeah, I think it summons our better angels

hey i say it gives him a new mondo move no what

all right what are you doing here uh navy and lyle

uh i mean i want to hear what he sees right what if he's going over there to if he's reconnaissance oh you want to hear what he can see okay great yeah so roger uses the tip of his horn to poke a little tiny pinhole in the box

to look out.

Surely that doesn't need a move.

No, yeah, you can do it with three sevens with like Omega Carew, you're fine.

So

you are able to see Goshua not nearly as bright-eyed and kind of self-assured as you saw him back at the stadium when you guys first met, sorting through boxes,

his, you know, his uniform disheveled.

grunting and kind of going through files looking for things sorting you know statements out of files and putting them in a pile to be to be scanned.

But he is the only one in this area, so you are all three confident that the only people in this room are Joshua and the insect man manning the cameras.

Can I tell if he looks disgruntled or gruntled?

Oh, he's disgruntled.

He's very disgruntled.

Now, maybe with the right kind of like pep talk, he could be re-gruntled.

Yeah.

But currently, he has no gruntles to give

holidays are hard for everyone fellows it is our old friend gosh darnett and he is not gruntled he is doing menial work

he looks like what we call in on my planet an unhappy camper

well you're in a perfect position now to take him out take him down bring him out bring him down take him down

yes that's...

But...

No, no, but.

Perhaps there's another.

I mean, yeah, man.

Yeah, there's always another way, isn't there?

I am under a box.

Perfect.

Okay.

Now, Travis, I've noticed that all the three boxes have moved with that.

Am I to understand that dad is scooting this?

No, I think you're not.

I'm trying to understand that that particular token is a set of three boxes boxes

that I can't separate.

I think I'm going to wait and observe.

I will give you this, Dad, while you wait and observe,

with that triple seven, I'm going to say like you're in

like position to like hold a move kind of thing, right?

That you're poised and ready.

And I love that.

Like you have the opportunity that when the next thing happens that you want to do, you're in a prime position to do do it.

We just like, we just like pull back the crank on the trap.

Exactly.

Marked Clint.

All right.

And it's like, who's Clint?

Sounds good.

All right.

Navy and Lyle.

You guys, I'm going to put you more towards the bottom of the stairs.

Okay.

What are you guys up to?

What are you?

What's your move?

There's three more boxes.

But you took them all with you.

No, there's another three.

Just kidding.

So, uh,

now at this point, I will remind you that as far as anyone manning a camera would see,

there's no, like, mounted suspicion on there in.

Between you guys coming in to like the antechamber of the headquarters to moving through the headquarters, you have either explained your behavior or covered your behavior well.

Great.

So we'll just kind of

Huh.

I'm trying to think.

I still have the ID badge, right?

Correct.

I'm going to step out into the room,

looking similarly disgruntled,

and I'm just going to walk.

I'm just going to walk over to this desk in front of Flivan.

She's like, oh, unbelievable.

Kimberly, please.

Oh, stupid, stupid chief.

Doesn't see my talents.

Oh, hey, you must be my new, uh, my new cellmate, huh?

They got us down here rotting together.

I'm Flavin, the

security guard.

Oh, Flivin, oh, how's it going?

You must have been down here a while.

I don't recognize you.

You see before you a half-man, half-fly.

Big old bug-eyes.

Similar to your own, but in a much more insectoid manner.

Maybe that was the buzzing we heard.

He sees you

and immediately recognizes you.

What?

And says,

oh, were you able to take care of those techno-spiders?

Yes.

As you might imagine, I hate those guys.

When you say he recognizes me...

He recognizes you from the antechamber when you guys came in and ended up smashing the computer with Hatchetman, and you explained it away by saying that there was a swarm of techno-spiders you were attempting to kill.

Oh, right.

And you remember that the security cameras sort of nodded and accepted your explanation.

Oh, right, yeah.

Yeah, those techno-spiders, the chief didn't like me smashing the stuff up, and so he demoted me.

This, that's the bull crap.

Techno-spiders must be dealt with with extreme prejudice.

That's what I'm always saying.

Oh, I should introduce myself.

I'm I look down at the ID card.

My name is

Detective Ringo Dingo.

Please, Ricky.

I'm gonna need a moment.

Yeah, right.

I'm gonna take a moment.

Because like I'm already side story.

So Detective Ringo Ringo Dingo, it's all I can think about

you know I've solved I've cracked a lot of cases and put away a lot of perps, but they you smash one computer to get some techno spiders and the chief sends all detective

the red tape's got wrapped around my throat and it's choking the life out of me in this great country of ours Anyway, uh

what did they send you down here to do what's your assignment?

Uh, they said I've got to run inventory, which is like this isn't a, this isn't a Walmart, you know?

Like, I, I, I didn't know that we did that, but they said I had to do inventory on all of the evidence, which is crazy.

You must have been sent down to help Goshua.

Yep.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm getting the old Goshua treatment.

Goshua treatment?

No, Goshua treatment.

Oh, sorry.

I misheard you.

So anyway, it looks like I'm supposed to start.

I just shuffle some papers that are like already on the desk.

With most recent crimes going backwards, starting on the date of the big museum heist.

Hmm, I see.

Yeah, so where would I go to find that stuff?

And I'll do all the inventory on that.

Yes, those files over there.

And he points, unsurprisingly,

Towards the same filing cabinet that Gasha was going through.

Okay.

not the same section but that is the rack of uh filed reports that need to be digitized

all right uh i'll get started on that what are you working on flyving old buddy i man the security cameras

oh well you look pretty beat they have uh

they got some

vegan muffins upstairs and uh the folks are just chowing down on those you could uh take a little break of ruski if you'd like I'm more of a sugar water man myself.

Oh.

Cool.

Well, there goes that idea.

I'm just trying to help out my new pal, Flyven.

Do you have any sugar water?

I got water, and I think we could probably scrounge up a little sugar.

Okay, from the stairwell, I will call out.

Hey, Dingo, hurry up.

They just put out a bunch of sugar water to go with the dessert.

No way.

Yeah,

Did you hear that, Flivin?

Sugar water.

Yeah, that's what he said, Flivin.

You heard it as well as I did.

I shouldn't leave the security cameras unflied.

I'll fly them for you.

There's no problem there.

But I thought you were sent down to file.

Yes, that has that I can do later.

I want to help you because I think you look so sad down here.

And it might just be the feedback to come.

I'll need to call someone down to cover the cameras

I can tell you I can do that Flyven why are you making a big deal out of it I was a detective I was a detective Flyven I can I can know how to keep an eye out for dangers

there's a system for this guys you can't just argue back and forth it's true we have laws they're called dice you have to use them to resolve this

so um flyven has made it clear to you that you were sent down to file, and that was what you were talking about doing.

And it doesn't want me to split your attention.

So, you know, gotcha, got you.

Oh, I'll call down.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hey, guy who just yelled down here about the sugar water, detective

Pralf

Sheridan.

Did you say pal?

Check your Pralf Sheridan, Ralph,

Ralph, Proul, Ralph with a B, with a P.

Proud, Ralph,

hey, Peanut, get down here, pal.

Hey, well, did I hear right that I'm proud?

Hey, Palf.

Are my ears deceiving me, man?

Or am I Prouf?

I walk up to Pralf and give him a big hug.

That's my man.

Prouf and Ringo always tearing it up.

Wait, you're Ringo?

Wait, you get to be Ringo and I'm Prouf?

I show him the ID card.

I'm not kidding you.

The name is Detective Ringo Dingo.

Where did you get a card?

I took it from the desk.

Hold on, let me go back up there and look and see.

No, you're not going to find a card that says Proulf.

There might be a Pralf.

Probably not.

It's a common way.

Prouf is a straightforward.

Wait, wait, wait.

Maybe there's a card clipped to one of the coats in the code right now.

Yeah, that's what I'm hoping.

I think if I

hook around, there might be one Pralf.

Anyway, Flavin, yeah, Prouf here, he does our stakeout stuff, and

he's with me.

So he'll watch the cameras.

That's what he does all day.

Yeah, I'm jacked on vegan muffins.

I need to distract myself.

Yes, they'll get to you.

Griffin, give me, since you had another person,

and very convincing sugar water help from

Lyle there, give me a 48 roll

to convince Flyven.

Easy.

Three successes, seven, five, and six.

I mean, yeah, that's the countdown.

That's a inside straight.

I mean, yeah.

Okay, but I only for a little sip.

I'll be back.

It's in the parking lot.

Sorry, what?

Sorry, Griffin.

I hate to be that guy.

No, the party's not a party.

I think you know that you can't add on to the grip just after the rolls.

I can, I can.

I can't.

Because if he just goes upstairs, it's going to fall apart instantly.

Three successes.

The party's in the parking lot, Griffin.

I was thinking about that too.

My thing, I was just gonna

punch him out when he went in the stairwell, and you guys were gonna get so mad because that would have undone.

No, don't punch him out, he's going to the parking lot, but there's nothing there, Griffin.

You said it yourself the moment he gets upstairs and starts looking for muffins.

That's what I'm saying.

He's got to go to the parking lot now, Juice.

Oh, yeah, it is in the parking lot.

I good point, Ringo.

Well, I have no reason not to trust you.

Great.

and fly van exits up to the parking lot to go look for whatever jug of sugar water he has been promised okay we got like 30 seconds so okay i can we i before we do anything else i need to establish trav sight line wise has goshua been watching this exchange or where what are we doing Let's roll for that because right now

I think we've established he's behind that row of boxes.

This is what I'm just trying to say.

can he see over okay okay um then i think it probably makes sense before we

start doing stuff on computer to let dad maybe do something with goshua would be my my gut but i don't know

um

yes

navy give me a perception roll for when you are back over at the computer okay bug eyes here we go

cowbunga baby, super ultra mega cowbunga 2-8s.

Double eights, while you are at the computer station, when Flyven heads upstairs, a notification comes across the computer and prints out that processing is wrapping up with the three base eye baddies.

Okay.

And they will soon be brought down to the holding cells.

Oh, that would be bad.

And you can also see...

That

Eel Patrick Harris has been marked to be sent to Governor's Island, which the three of you know is

sort of like a maximum security gated community on an island off the coast of River City that was established by Governor Kildeath,

also where he retired to.

But the maximum security, unlike a traditional gated community, is to keep people in.

So it is for kind of the most extreme perpetrators that the River City First Enforcement come across.

I'm curious.

If he turns state's witness, why would they be sending him to

maximum security?

It is very strange.

I agree.

Okay.

I take note of that.

Can I take the...

You said it printed out, which is crazy.

They must go through a lot of paper of every notification.

They're well funded.

Yeah, sure.

I'll take that piece of paper.

And

yeah, now I have that.

Guys, we got like not much time.

They're about to send the base eye baddies down here.

If we're going to do something, we got to do it right now.

Well, since we don't have much time.

Oh, God.

I really wanted to try to convince Joshua.

Joshua

helped us, but I don't think that.

Hey, man, do it.

If that's what you want to do, do that.

No, you know what?

I tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to charge at him.

Oh, man.

With my horn that's already sticking through the pinprick hole and ram the other horn through that.

And I'm going to try to

shock him.

That is my cattle problem.

That is what you're going to try to do.

I just want to take a step back here to say how much I love being the zookeeper for this game because like two and a half episodes ago, you guys were like, I know, we'll go in and apologize to him.

And like, that was the plan that you guys established.

And now you're here and you're like, I know I will tase this man unconscious.

So, tags.

Well, I did, I did say that I wish I had time to talk to him, but it doesn't sound like I do.

I mean, talking is a free action, you would have time to talk to him, but yeah, but it doesn't feel like we're on a pathway now.

Give me a 3d8 roll to see how we have time.

Um, actually, I'm and since you had a held action, go ahead and add two dice to that because you definitely have the element of surprise here.

5d8 5d8 to trank him with your taser horns.

One success.

That's crazy.

Believe it.

That's when it dries up.

One, two, three, four, seven.

With a mixed success, he does not go unconscious, but the shock

does cause him to kind of go flying backwards, and his radio goes skittering across the floor out of his reach.

Okay.

What?

What?

Did that box just shock me?

What?

Do I see him?

Did I see that?

Did he fall

in charge and you hear his voice

talking?

But you are still over at the stairs.

I will.

I'll rush over to grab Goshua.

Okay.

Give me

a...

Let's see.

You're a bulky boy.

Are you a bulky boy?

I'm a bulky boy.

I don't know that I...

I mean, I'm an axolotl, but I don't know that I'm particularly bulky.

Okay, yeah.

Give me.

Give me.

This is your training.

This is your abs.

So give me a 3d8 roll since you have training and abs to grab a hold of him.

One success.

Okay, with mixed success attempting to grab

Goofus.

You are able to move to Goshua before he is able to regain his feet.

You have a hand on him, so you're like tentatively in control of the situation, but you definitely don't like have him grappled

It's okay, man.

What it's okay happen

wait you listen we're here to apologize We're really really really sorry.

What Roger was box off?

It was my understanding.

We were here to apologize.

Yes, and that's why I only did a minor shock on you instead of giving you the full brunt of my cattle pride.

It's your guys' fault that I'm down.

I got to mo.

I'm a clerk again.

We know we apologize.

We shouldn't apologize.

We're gonna help you get moated.

That's right.

Remoted?

Remoted.

You're gonna be remoted.

What are you guys doing here?

There's odd dealings afoot.

Sorry?

Yes.

There's bad business afoot, Goshua, and you're the only one who can do something to stop it.

Something's going on

that stinks and it goes all the way to the top and you're the only person we can count on to stop it.

Will you be our Casey?

Sorry.

We need a man on the inside.

Do you understand?

Okay, I have gathered that from what you're saying, but like any further details would be appreciated.

There's a new player in town, and he's got his sticky, dirty fingers in all the big pies.

He goes by a handle of the walrus.

And

he's got everyone answering to him.

The governor, probably the chief, I think.

And maybe it may roll up as far as your boss, a walrus.

Walter Russell?

The billionaire philanthropist?

I know, I know, but even he may be answering to the walrus.

He may be involved.

There's no way.

He's a beloved figure in town.

Everything he does is to benefit the people.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm

talking a little nonsense.

What are we thinking?

What are we thinking?

We need to see what went down at the museum because there's a piece of the pie we're missing.

Sorry, not pie.

I don't want to mix my metaphysics.

Yeah, I'm just because he had his dirty, sticky fingers in a pie, and that's the piece of pieces.

He has his dirty, sticky fingers in the pie, and but this isn't a pie.

It's something happened at the museum.

The greenback guardians are involved.

What?

And yes, something

has happened that is gonna be the end of this city as we know it, unless you, Gashua, can be our Casey, our man on the inside, our human liaison.

What do you say, partner?

And this will be like working with the Greenback Guardians.

In a way, yes.

Is that good?

I am where I am.

Like, I...

Started this as a kid because I love the Greenback.

They're my heroes.

Okay, do you want to meet two of them

yes

awesome

good yeah show us the museum stuff and we know where two of them are and I bet by the end of our little escapade we'll find the other ones Griffin roll 66 or 68 roll 68

to the three successes two eights with that mega cowbunga you see him take a second take a breath and say

okay what do you need from me where's the stuff from the museum the evidence We got to know what was taken.

Uh, okay, hold on.

And he goes shuffling through a file.

He's like, okay, yeah, here's the, like, the evidence manifesto list.

How does this help?

No, not manifesto, excuse me.

Manifest.

That's what I'm saying.

I, the evidence, believe that our government.

The evidence manifest list.

How does this help?

Uh, well, let's freaking find out.

We want to cross-reference with what you have in evidence.

You need to call Dean.

Why?

You guys.

He's standing by to cross-reference the stuff, remember?

Okay, we have a list of what the museum had on display at the exhibit.

We need a list of what the RCPF...

Is that right?

No, that's Raccoon City, which is a totally different animal city where some pretty gnarly stuff went.

No, yeah, that was the, it started as like their raccoon preserve, and they like started building just kind of rudimentary structures and government and everything.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah.

That's what's going on over there, man.

My brother-in-law's wreck.

Oh, really?

Well, the fun

the funbrella corporation started doing a lot of crazy sites over there, and it got a pretty yucky project.

Anyway, we need to know what benefits really outweigh the cost when you think about it.

We need to know what for now.

But I've heard my brother-in-law works in the labs, and he said some really messed up going on.

Oh, man.

They've got a laser grid.

Anyways,

listen, here's the deal.

My seventh best friend Dean is waiting in our office with a list of what was gone from the museum.

We just need to know what you have at the RCFE.

Okay, well, I mean, here's the list of everything that'll be recovered.

All right, let me call Dean.

Dean Man here.

Dino!

I don't like that no you got De Man,

but you're not a man.

Yeah, okay

Bryn and Barrett.

You've got Dean the Koala man.

All right Dean

Here's the deal.

I got two imaginary lists and they're both in the brain of the same man.

Okay, just take a snap a photo the one you have and send it over to me.

All right, I'm sending it to you now

Can you compare can you compare these two lists you have?

Yeah, hold on.

Give me one se okay.

Should have used the fax machine, I see.

We should have just brought the list with us.

We could read it out loud.

Okay, it seems like there's only two things missing

from the evidence list you sent me.

One is

Carver's signature, you know, his bat, Slugger.

We knew that on that, right?

And a videotape

that contains the unaired pilot of the real Greenback Guardians animated series.

Whoa!

Who would steal that?

And

that is when you hear the beep from the top of the stairs of the security door being swung.

Is there another way out of here?

Just, okay, get over behind those boxes.

The only way out is through the holding cells, and you don't want to go through there.

So just

three boxes, three boys.

Let's go.

And you throw the boxes over your head as you hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

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