TDS Time Machine | Illegal Immigration

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.

Speaker 2 You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 2 Turning to our top story, the debate over a new immigration law has caused a rift between moderate Republicans who want to reform immigration without alienating Hispanic voters and conservatives who would prefer to turn immigrants into some sort of foodstuff for people on Medicare.

Speaker 2 A Soylent Verde, if you will.

Speaker 2 I see you've all taken Spanish.

Speaker 4 Nicely done.

Speaker 2 Now, at the heart of this debate is a bill approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee that would let illegal aliens take steps towards citizenship.

Speaker 2 Those steps towards citizenship, learn English, pay taxes, and start resenting future immigrants.

Speaker 2 But critics say granting citizenship to illegal aliens amounts to amnesty for lawbreakers. Senator John McCain disagrees.

Speaker 6 This bill that came out of the Judiciary Committee effectively does grant amnesty to millions of immigrants who are now here illegally.

Speaker 2 Well, Charlie, that's just absolutely false.

Speaker 7 It allows them to earn citizenship.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 6 I, at my peril, get into an argument with the guy who has fashioned this bill over the definition of amnesty, but I said a moment ago, if they fulfill certain conditions which you outlined.

Speaker 6 But if an illegal

Speaker 7 amnesty then it's not amnesty amnesty is forgiveness this is this is payment of a fine

Speaker 2 replied gibson i see well i i certainly don't want to uh clearly you've almost says amnesty

Speaker 11 uh

Speaker 2 the bill and why would charlie gibson do that Seems childish. The bill faces a competing proposal from Senator Bill Frist, seen here explaining to Southeast Asian children how tears transmit AIDS.

Speaker 2 He favors deportation for any illegals, and he explained his position on the Fox News show Hannity and his huddling sidekick, Yearning to Breathe Free.

Speaker 12 He said to Sean just a moment ago, they're here illegally, they should go back and get in line to come back in. But wouldn't that create an underground?

Speaker 8 And you can't just deport 11 million people.

Speaker 12 That's just not a workable policy, is it?

Speaker 14 Yeah, well, I think it is workable.

Speaker 2 It's absolutely workable.

Speaker 2 I mean, just think about Ellian Gonzalez, How easy that was.

Speaker 18 Now, just times that by 11 million.

Speaker 2 One of the most outspoken advocates for stronger immigration reform isn't a politician at all, but CNN's Lou Dobbs, whose guest Monday night, Hispanic rights activist Janet Mergia, defended protesters that were out there waving Mexican flags.

Speaker 19 There's a sense of pride with anybody. We just had St.
Patrick's Day.

Speaker 19 Are you saying that Irish, because they're holding up their Irish flags, that all of a sudden they're not loyal or they're un-American?

Speaker 20 You ready to listen to me, loud and clear? I'm here.

Speaker 20 I don't think that we should have any flag flying in this country except the flag of the United States. I don't think there should be a St.
Patrick's Day. I don't care who you are.

Speaker 2 With more, I'm joined by our resident expert, John Hodgman. John, thank you so much for joining us.

Speaker 2 And you all,

Speaker 17 I'm now going to tell you,

Speaker 2 you're a leading authority on immigration. Yes, that's true.

Speaker 12 In fact, the heartwarming tale of my own immigrant past, titled, My Grandparents Were Slav or Something,

Speaker 12 comes out next Friday. Thanks for the play.

Speaker 2 You're very welcome, John. John, why did this bill,

Speaker 2 once again, not even able to come up for a vote? Was the so-called amnesty issue just too toxic for the Republican base?

Speaker 12 No, John. There was a larger concern here, one that my fellow television experts have picked up on.

Speaker 23 Chuck? Some illegal immigrants are bringing diseases back into the U.S. that we thought were wiped out long ago.

Speaker 25 A lot of diseases are coming back, and it's because these 12 million illegals who come across the border...

Speaker 12 Now, Professor Gibson and Dr. Buchanan have it exactly right.

Speaker 12 The immigration debate was at heart a public health issue. I'll be blunt, John.
Illegal aliens have tuberculosis and leprosy.

Speaker 2 We're not, you can't.

Speaker 2 You can't possibly be talking about tuberculosis and leprosy. Chuck? Hey, John.
Yeah, we're talking about tuberculosis and leprosy.

Speaker 12 You heard what a person on television just said, John.

Speaker 12 Leprosy in this country.

Speaker 4 Incredible?

Speaker 26 Leprosy in this country.

Speaker 21 Incredible.

Speaker 12 Alas, those words are as true now as they were when I said them just before Lou Dobbs did.

Speaker 2 Leprosy, John.

Speaker 12 Yes, its effects are already being felt. Look at this chart, John.
As you can see, in the last seven years, the average number of fingers

Speaker 12 per American hand has dropped off,

Speaker 12 while the number of fingers that have dropped off has risen dramatically. If this trend continues by 2015, well, you can see

Speaker 12 what might happen.

Speaker 2 But so that, and that's because of illegal aliens. John, the chart is fundamentally wrong.

Speaker 12 Well, John, you're right. It might not be hooves that Americans have in the future.

Speaker 20 It could be talons or claws of some kind.

Speaker 12 Data is still coming in, but the conclusion conclusion is inescapable. All Mexicans are lepers.

Speaker 2 John, I cannot, in good conscience, allow this to go unchallenged. I'm sorry.

Speaker 12 Oh, that's good. I love a good debate.
Put up your hooves.

Speaker 2 The soundbite that you played from Loudon.

Speaker 12 Yes, good fellow, ten fingers.

Speaker 2 John.

Speaker 2 He reported there were 7,000 cases of leprosy in America in the last three years, supposedly because of illegal aliens. That turned out to be wrong.
Look at this.

Speaker 26 We checked that and found a report issued by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services saying 7,000 is the number of leprosy cases over the last 30 years, not the past three.

Speaker 26 And nobody knows how many of those cases involve illegal immigrants.

Speaker 2 Ah, that's 60 minutes. How do you answer to that?

Speaker 12 That's just typical limousine leper propaganda.

Speaker 4 No, John,

Speaker 2 I feel like bringing these diseases out is just a scare tactic.

Speaker 12 You're right, John. It is very scary, but it doesn't stop at disease.

Speaker 18 There are at least 30,000 illegal immigrants who belong to gangs which are violent, which are drug dealing.

Speaker 18 Some are looking for trouble, trying to smuggle guns and drugs into our country, and God knows what else.

Speaker 25 Many of them are child molesters, they're drunk drivers, they're rapists, they're robbers.

Speaker 12 My colleagues, Nobel laureate Gingrich, Princeton's Albert Einstein professor of quantum physics, Beck, and Dr. Buchanan, have it right.
Let me be blunt, John.

Speaker 12 I can't read the prompter without my glasses.

Speaker 12 John. So it stops there.

Speaker 2 I understand that, but

Speaker 2 stunning, Buchanan himself, Irish-American.

Speaker 12 Is he? I don't know. I don't see color, John.

Speaker 2 You know, John, when the Irish came to this country, they were subject to almost the exact same accusations. They were diseased, drunkards, guilty of immoral behavior.

Speaker 12 Well, at the time, those charges may have been warranted. I mean, look at the historical record as captured in this file footage from Ellis Island.

Speaker 12 You can't deny that murderous leprechauns were killing our children.

Speaker 4 It's a matter of fact.

Speaker 2 Your point in all this?

Speaker 12 Hope, John.

Speaker 4 Simple, pure hope.

Speaker 12 That one day these tubercular, lepros, molesting immigrants can repeat the uniquely American journey of the fiendish, green-blooded Irish

Speaker 12 from unwanted immigrants to not wanting immigrants

Speaker 12 while obviously still taking their orders directly from the Pope. John?

Speaker 2 Thank you very much, John. John Hodgman, we'll be right back.

Speaker 2 Let's get right to the big story. For months, the country has suffered through divided government, corrosive partisan deadlock.
But last week, in the Senate, a breakthrough.

Speaker 29 We have reached a broad agreement on a very complicated bill.

Speaker 2 A complicated bill. So that means this bill is more than just a renewal of the Puppies Are Better Than Hitler Act.

Speaker 2 Not that that didn't have issues. So what was this bill about?

Speaker 14 A comprehensive immigration reform bill.

Speaker 29 The agreement we just reached is the best possible chance we will have in years. to secure our borders, bring millions of people out of the shadows, and into the sunshine of America.

Speaker 2 We must bring millions of people out of the garage and

Speaker 2 onto the front yards of America where they can. Luis, I told you I needed the driveway clean.

Speaker 2 I guess is my point.

Speaker 4 Vote Wimby. All right.

Speaker 2 How would the country react to this very rare display of statesmanship? But if immigrant groups are angry over the bill, at least that means the anti-immigrant crowd must be pleased.

Speaker 30 What do you think of the deal?

Speaker 2 I think the deal stinks.

Speaker 14 Blunt. There's no way this great republic can afford this legislation.

Speaker 2 Dramatic.

Speaker 9 We're turning over more to Canada and Mexico, and I do not like that.

Speaker 12 It's a destruction of our sovereignty.

Speaker 2 I guess guess that was leghorn-esque.

Speaker 15 I say, I say, I shash.

Speaker 15 They gotta respect my sovereign tie.

Speaker 31 So the left is pissed off. The right is pissed off.

Speaker 2 And ladies and gentlemen, here comes the president, flanked by his silent wingmen. All right, here's the plan.
We're gonna go out there. I'm gonna do some immigration talking.

Speaker 2 Now, if everything goes good, I'll take some questions. But if anyone sees anything suspicious, like a squirrel or something, we just pivot, turn, and walk away like we rehearse.

Speaker 4 Comprehendo?

Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 let's do it.

Speaker 32 I really am anxious to sign a comprehensive immigration bill as soon as I possibly can. Today we took a good step toward that direction.
Thank you.

Speaker 4 Hey, hey, is the squirrel following us?

Speaker 31 So,

Speaker 4 what is the,

Speaker 2 oh, we have the advantage of writing to footage.

Speaker 2 What is the bill?

Speaker 2 Basically, some immigrants already in the country illegally will have to pay a $5,000 fine, and then the head of their household will make a touchback trip to their home country, at which point they can apply for Z visas to have a chance at gaining permanent legal status within eight years.

Speaker 2 Or one can apply for a probationary card to stay in the country without permanent status possibilities for four years or until borders are secured.

Speaker 2 Or you can get a guest worker Y visa, renewable every two years, although there's only 400,000 of those that are capped, based, of course, on market fluctuations. Of course,

Speaker 2 you understand all that because you're an illegal alien who doesn't speak English very well and lives in fear of deportation.

Speaker 2 For more on the immigration bill, we turn to Asif Manvi standing by in Washington.

Speaker 20 Asif, thanks very much for joining us.

Speaker 34 So, Asif,

Speaker 2 basically the idea is there are different types of visas. People already on the margins of societies also have to come up with $5,000.

Speaker 2 This

Speaker 2 legalization process does not sound easy.

Speaker 35 Well, it's not supposed to be, John. It wasn't easy for our European ancestors.

Speaker 35 They had a long, arduous journey just to get here. And then they had to kill a continent's worth of squatters while still suffering from boat lag.

Speaker 35 I think these new immigrants have it easy. Give me a choice between wiping out a nation of indigenous peoples and bussing tables.
It's no contest.

Speaker 31 Better tips.

Speaker 2 Asif,

Speaker 2 obviously,

Speaker 2 not to get personal,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 you yourself were not born here. You're.
Brown?

Speaker 2 I was going to suggest. Brown.

Speaker 35 It's fine, John. I know I'm Brown.

Speaker 33 But I'm from India.

Speaker 35 I'm tech support/slash cardiologist Brown.

Speaker 25 Shout out.

Speaker 35 Not dishwasher/slash Los Angeles parking attendant Brown.

Speaker 35 And I say that with no disrespect.

Speaker 35 Aussif.

Speaker 2 Of course not. Ossif,

Speaker 2 but doesn't this really point out what this bill is? Isn't this bill really about the fact that these immigrants are Mexicans?

Speaker 35 Absolutely not, John.

Speaker 35 This debate has nothing to do with the ethnicity of these Mexicans.

Speaker 2 You're nodding your head, Asif.

Speaker 35 Oh, it's a nervous tick.

Speaker 35 Mexicans make me nervous.

Speaker 2 Asif, another controversial aspect of the the bill is that families of these immigrants will no longer be given special status that they used to have.

Speaker 2 Immigrant status will be evaluated on some kind of point system.

Speaker 4 That's right.

Speaker 35 For example, immigrants that speak English will get 10 points.

Speaker 35 Those who work in science and healthcare get 8 points. Military service, 5 points.
No leprosy, 2 points.

Speaker 35 And if you use all your letters, 50 bonus points.

Speaker 2 Assembly what is the point system trying to accomplish?

Speaker 35 Well, it lets us know who's worthy. You know, people like you could be satisfied with this being a nation of 12 to 15 point immigrants.
I think we can do better.

Speaker 35 It'll be like the SATs. Assigning a point value will keep us from becoming a safety country.
This is America, John, not Wesleyan.

Speaker 2 But it is the antithesis of our founding, Osif. What happened to the motto, the old motto, give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free?

Speaker 35 Well, that was the old slogan, John. America has rebranded its immigration policy.

Speaker 2 And the new slogan is,

Speaker 35 what can Brown do for you?

Speaker 27 Illegal immigration is on everyone's minds, and the increasing population of Latinos has plenty of white Americans concerned. I sat down with four of those extremely passionate citizens.

Speaker 36 If you look around, there's a lot of Hispanic people. I mean, not that there's any, I'm not racist or anything, but we're going to keep populating.
We might have two kids. What do they have?

Speaker 36 Four or five kids?

Speaker 9 I'm saying seven, eight.

Speaker 36 Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 20 Nine.

Speaker 27 Maybe I should have mentioned I was Latino.

Speaker 37 All cultures are not equal. I live in Koreatown, dear.

Speaker 38 So you're saying your problem is Koreans?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 37 Koreans are fine. But see, Koreans are different.
Koreans are like Chinese. You don't see problems with the Chinese immigrants, even though they're illegal.

Speaker 39 It's getting hot in here.

Speaker 9 Starting to sweat through my shirt.

Speaker 27 Latinos are worse than both Koreans and the Chinese.

Speaker 5 That's a fact.

Speaker 27 But law enforcement agents like Richard Jones know how to stop this illegal menace.

Speaker 9 And I suppose you're going to say the solution is to round everybody up?

Speaker 40 No, the solution is not to round them all up. The solution is to where they don't have the stuff that they've got here.

Speaker 41 Free stuff. What free stuff is you?

Speaker 4 Free stuff.

Speaker 40 You get a computer when you come here.

Speaker 43 What kind of computer? Are we talking a new computer?

Speaker 43 Some Dell Gateway type of thing?

Speaker 40 They get new computers. They get their car payments.
They get their house payments. They get free medical care.

Speaker 11 Where?

Speaker 40 They get it here in the United States.

Speaker 16 No, but specifically where?

Speaker 8 I would love to get some free computers and some free medical care.

Speaker 40 You've got to come here illegally to get the free stuff.

Speaker 40 It's welfare at its worst.

Speaker 27 I wanted to talk to these Mexican moosh, and luckily I was in a place with a lot of them. Texas, a state state where Latinos will outnumber everyone by 2020.

Speaker 27 Which made it really easy to put together a panel of Latino immigrants.

Speaker 46 I'm myself. I'm from El Paso, Texas.

Speaker 47 You just said you were Texan.

Speaker 43 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 45 Show of hands.

Speaker 47 How many of you people are Texans?

Speaker 9 The stars at night are big and bright.

Speaker 11 You're in the heart of Texas.

Speaker 5 Clearly, you look Latino.

Speaker 47 So you're really claiming that you're Texan.

Speaker 9 I was born in Texas, but my heritage is Mexican.

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 5 Damn it.

Speaker 27 These were the wrong types of Latinos. I needed the illegals with the free computers.
So I went deep undercover. Edward James almost stopped.

Speaker 9 How long have you been taking free benefits from the United States?

Speaker 48 Never. I work here really hard.

Speaker 19 I never received nothing.

Speaker 27 You get free things and you know it. No.

Speaker 45 when did you come to america jesus one second how do you turn this thing down jesus i mean hey zoo seriously how do you turn this down hit the left switch man what's up fellas dress pretty nice for landscapers

Speaker 6 landscapers uh manage my family's business i work at a law firm but can you please not talk like that like what the way you're talking why you dress like such a dick

Speaker 8 What are you talking about, bro? This is how Latinos dress.

Speaker 40 Maybe in 1992.

Speaker 45 F up, SE.

Speaker 27 But don't let these seemingly nice people fool you.

Speaker 40 The illegals that come into this country, theirs is to come in and take and not pay the taxes. And that's not the American dream.

Speaker 20 Who exactly are we talking about?

Speaker 40 They're not wealthy people sneaking across the board. Not wealthy at all.
No, you can't just come across on your own. They call them their mules.

Speaker 40 And if you have nothing to pay, they'll abuse you along the way.

Speaker 24 That sounds exhausting.

Speaker 13 Very exhausting.

Speaker 43 And so they have them all huddled together in these groups?

Speaker 38 Yes.

Speaker 8 Why? What are they yearning for?

Speaker 40 To feel free.

Speaker 43 So you're saying that there are tired, poor, huddled masses yearning for freedom.

Speaker 24 That's not what America's about.

Speaker 2 It's not what I'm saying at all.

Speaker 40 Just get behind the line. That's how we keep it, this beautiful and a great country.

Speaker 11 But for how long?

Speaker 27 Because the menace is already here.

Speaker 42 They're already in your state, your town, maybe even your street.

Speaker 5 And they are called

Speaker 42 Latinos.

Speaker 45 You got dinner.

Speaker 27 Boston Market.

Speaker 42 Watch out, because they're not leaving until they get what they came for.

Speaker 2 Nice catch!

Speaker 42 A life as boring as yours.

Speaker 5 And they are prepared to do anything to get him.

Speaker 14 God, don't forget the Boca Burgers for Tracy.

Speaker 42 And when the chips are down and their backs are against the wall, they'll make the best salsa you've ever had.

Speaker 21 So wake up, America.

Speaker 42 The Latinos aren't coming, they're already here.

Speaker 42 Latinos.

Speaker 41 Now that the tax plan has passed, the biggest issue facing Washington is immigration reform.

Speaker 22 Now, unfortunately, Democrats and Republicans have never been able to agree on this issue.

Speaker 41 Do you kick all the illegal immigrants out? Do you give them a path to citizenship?

Speaker 28 Do you take their cuisine and then kick them out?

Speaker 50 Do you clean their house?

Speaker 28 Like, what do you do?

Speaker 34 What do you do?

Speaker 41 It's a contentious issue, and no one has been able to get both parties to make a deal.

Speaker 22 Fortunately, America elected a man with a particular set of skills, as he told us when he was still applying for the job.

Speaker 52 With Congress, you have to get everybody in a room and you have to get them to agree. But you have to get them to agree what you want.
And that's part of being a deal maker.

Speaker 52 You can't leave the White House, go to Hawaii, and play golf for three weeks and be a real dealmaker. It doesn't work that way.

Speaker 52 You have to get people in, grab them, hug them, kiss them, and get the deal done. But it's got to be the deal that you want.

Speaker 49 Yeah.

Speaker 39 A deal making president can't just go to Hawaii and play golf.

Speaker 3 He goes to Florida.

Speaker 39 It's much closer. You get an extra nine holes in.

Speaker 16 Yeah, and you grab the people and you hug them and you kiss them.

Speaker 39 It's like turned into Harvey Weinstein in the middle of that room's going on.

Speaker 44 So Trump promised to get Republicans and Democrats into a room.

Speaker 51 And guess what?

Speaker 47 Yesterday, that's exactly what he did.

Speaker 10 Assembling over a dozen congressional leaders to negotiate immigration.

Speaker 41 Now, what made this meeting special is that Trump invited cameras into the room, which was mind-blowing because finally we'd get to see the president take charge.

Speaker 44 So go on, Mr.

Speaker 41 President.

Speaker 27 Tell these fools your position.

Speaker 53 My positions are going to be what the people in this room come up with. I am very much reliant on the people in this room.

Speaker 53 If they come to me with things that I'm not in love with, I'm going to do it because I respect them.

Speaker 17 I love that he's acting like a tough in-control leader while at the same time telling everyone everyone he will do anything they want.

Speaker 54 He's like, let's get this straight asshole.

Speaker 49 I'm your bitch.

Speaker 11 You will walk all over me.

Speaker 44 And if you've got a problem with that, I apologize.

Speaker 47 Now, the main discussion in this meeting was what to do about DACA, which is expiring in March.

Speaker 41 Now, DACA has a program that allows around 700,000 undocumented immigrants who were brought to the U.S. when they were children to stay in the US and not to be deported.

Speaker 10 Because think about it, they could be punished for a decision that their parents made to bring them here.

Speaker 28 You know, it's like how you were punished for your parents' decision to take you to supercuts.

Speaker 10 It's not your fault.

Speaker 39 Now, Democrats want to pass DACA right now.

Speaker 41 Republicans also want to pass DACA, but only if the Democrats also agree to fund more border security and of course Trump's war. You guys remember the war?

Speaker 41 Yeah, the one where Mexico was like, you guys are dumb, that one.

Speaker 47 Remember that war?

Speaker 41 So while both sides want DACA, there's clean DACA, and then there's DACA with everything else. And if you were running a high-level negotiation about DACA, this would be a key concept to understand.

Speaker 41 But if I told you that there was one person in the room yesterday who didn't quite understand,

Speaker 10 I'll bet you can guess who it was.

Speaker 51 So please enjoy this moment.

Speaker 44 As Republican Kevin McCarthy has to jump in to help the president understand that he's just agreed with the opposite of what he said he always wanted.

Speaker 48 I'd like to ask the question, what about a clean DACA bill now with a commitment that we go into a comprehensive immigration reform procedure?

Speaker 55 I think a lot of people would like to see that.

Speaker 41 But I think we have to do DACA first.

Speaker 34 Mr.

Speaker 55 President, you need to be clear, though. I think what Senator Feinstein is asking here, when we talk about just DACA, we don't want to be back here two years later.

Speaker 55 You have to have security, as the secretary would tell you.

Speaker 41 I think that's what she's saying.

Speaker 34 I think she's saying something different.

Speaker 16 It looks like McCarthy was gently correcting a stupid kid. You know, it's just like, I want clean DACA.

Speaker 41 No, Mr.

Speaker 47 President, you don't want clean DACA.

Speaker 3 I don't want clean DACA.

Speaker 31 I won't lie, I think it's so cute that whenever Trump is out of his depth, he gives himself away with that little hug that he gives himself for comfort, you know?

Speaker 3 It's like his little thunder shirt, he does that thing.

Speaker 39 Yeah, look at him. He looks like the oldest B-boy in the crew.

Speaker 39 All you have to do is put him in a music video and he would crush it.

Speaker 16 He would just be killing the game.

Speaker 54 Go DJ, go DJ, go DJ, go DJ.

Speaker 41 But actually, actually, it's not fair to say that Trump knows nothing about what he wants on immigration reform.

Speaker 41 He might be a little short on facts, but the important thing is he's got the feeling.

Speaker 53 Having the Democrats in with us is absolutely vital because this should be a bipartisan bill. This should be a bill of love.

Speaker 53 Truly, it should be a bill of love.

Speaker 51 That's right, people.

Speaker 13 This should be a bill of love,

Speaker 41 which is ridiculous.

Speaker 13 You don't get to call that a bill of love, right?

Speaker 41 That's a bill that funds a 2,000-mile wall.

Speaker 13 You don't call that the bill of love, even if the wall is full of glory holes, right?

Speaker 39 Which I fully believe Trump wants.

Speaker 41 That's not real love, right?

Speaker 31 A cheap fix, sure.

Speaker 27 Does it feel great? Yes.

Speaker 47 But real love, I mean, unless you go back to the whole regularly and the whole knows your name, then maybe.

Speaker 13 Like, if you care for the whole and the whole cares for you, then maybe it's love.

Speaker 41 Like, the real question is, what are you willing to do for the whole?

Speaker 41 And do you expect the whole to do anything in return?

Speaker 47 That's real love.

Speaker 21 Mischief.

Speaker 11 But

Speaker 16 it's funny to hear Trump talking about love and immigration, especially after you hear the cruel decision that he made on Monday.

Speaker 1 About 200,000 immigrants from El Salvador could face deportation next year after the White House announced it is ending their temporary protected status.

Speaker 46 These individuals who had been granted temporary protected status now have 18 months to try to find another legal way to stay in the United States or be sent back to El Salvador.

Speaker 46 Many of them fled El Salvador because of violence during that country's civil war or after the 2001 earthquake, which devastated the country.

Speaker 22 Yeah, while President Boulevlov puts on a show for the cameras, behind the scenes, his administration is kicking out 200,000 people who have lived in the U.S.

Speaker 47 illegally for decades, which is heartless, because these people have set up their whole lives. They have jobs, they have houses.

Speaker 22 Many of them have kids who were born in the U.S.

Speaker 41 These are families, Mr.

Speaker 22 President, human beings. You can't just treat them the same way you treat Eric.

Speaker 17 All right, our first story kicks off in Texas.

Speaker 41 Easily, one of my favorite states to visit.

Speaker 17 Yeah, the last time I went to Texas, Ted Cruz took me out to all of his favorite restaurants.

Speaker 51 Yeah, and everything had spit in it, but it was still delicious.

Speaker 49 It really was. So I'm definitely going back.

Speaker 17 But over the past few years, Texas's governor has been scaling back the state's hospitality, particularly towards undocumented immigrants.

Speaker 30 He's had them arrested, he's called out the National Guard, he even told citizens to, quote, take matters into their own hands.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 28 But last week, Governor Abbott, he took things to a whole new level when he decided to start busing illegal immigrants from Texas all the way to Washington, D.C.

Speaker 41 Yeah, as a way to hit back at the Biden administration's immigration policies.

Speaker 31 And now the first bus has arrived.

Speaker 56 About an hour ago, the first bus full of migrants from Texas arrived right outside the Fox Bureau in Washington, D.C.

Speaker 57 This bus took off from Del Rio, Texas. It left Saturday at 4 p.m., I'm told, and has traveled for over three days straight to get here.
There was a group from Nicaragua.

Speaker 57 I also spoke to six young men from Venezuela. I asked them what they wanted to do next.
They said they wanted to go to Miami, and I asked if they were going to get there. They said they didn't know.

Speaker 57 They're here in this country. They're willing to work hard.

Speaker 58 We're here in the food court at Union Station, where a lot of them have been getting something to eat because this was a 34-hour bus ride. They said they are very excited to be here.

Speaker 58 They feel welcome. They said that they know that they are a prop in all of this, but they wanted to come anyway.

Speaker 17 You know, I don't care what anyone says.

Speaker 39 America is one of the craziest countries in the world.

Speaker 45 Because what is happening here, people? Do you see, like, what is happening here?

Speaker 17 One day the governor is building a wall to keep immigrants out, and the next day, he's giving them a free ride to the capital.

Speaker 5 What are you doing?

Speaker 16 Like, I also don't think that he fully thought this through.

Speaker 30 Because if you're trying to deter immigrants, don't you think this sends a mixed message? No?

Speaker 33 Huh?

Speaker 54 Yeah, because you realize they're going to be calling home like, yo, as soon as I crossed the border, they captured me and and they took me to Washington, D.C.

Speaker 54 Hey, I think I'm gonna meet the president.

Speaker 49 Oh man, you guys gotta come over as quick as you can.

Speaker 54 Say Greg Abbott sent you, man.

Speaker 49 It's crazy.

Speaker 50 Also, of all of the places to drop the people of, you chose Fox News' headquarters in D.C.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 54 How are you gonna do that to Fox News, man?

Speaker 49 Those people are already terrified of imaginary immigrants.

Speaker 54 Now, what are they gonna do when the real ones show up?

Speaker 4 Those people are panicking.

Speaker 16 Faggot!

Speaker 16 Everyone showing up to the Fox Bureau.

Speaker 49 I bet in that office, everyone was just screaming like, oh my god, the caravan is here. What?

Speaker 54 I thought we made that up.

Speaker 33 I thought so too.

Speaker 51 It's also interesting that the immigrants know that they're being used as pawns, but they're willing to get shipped out of Texas anyway.

Speaker 39 I like that. And I like their honesty.

Speaker 17 They're like, yeah, we get what's happening here, but we're fine.

Speaker 3 I guess maybe they just prefer to be in a state with a reliable power grid.

Speaker 39 That's what they were going for, you know?

Speaker 11 Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 11 Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Speaker 40 Paramount Podcasts.

Speaker 58 This is an iHeart Podcast.