TDS Time Machine | Billionaires

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Speaker 11 You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 11 There's a great deal of talk in this country about people picking themselves up by their bootstraps to better their lives and fight their way into the 1%.

Speaker 12 But is it worth the climb?

Speaker 11 Jason Jones has more.

Speaker 7 Amongst all the terrible news about people who've lost their jobs or their homes, there's been one group that's been overlooked, the extremely wealthy. Luckily, psychologist Dr.

Speaker 7 Stephen Goldberg and psychotherapist Joan DeFuria have been there to help.

Speaker 6 Well, an average client is 25 to 50 million and up. Generally, people come to us who do not have to work another day in their lives.

Speaker 7 So

Speaker 7 why do they have problems?

Speaker 6 I know it sounds very very odd.

Speaker 9 Yes.

Speaker 6 But the climate today is very different than it was 10 years ago.

Speaker 13 We're really angry at the Havs right now.

Speaker 6 And so what happens because of that is the wealthy end up hiding themselves in these gated communities.

Speaker 7 When I think about these people, I just feel bad and I just want to punch them in the f ⁇ ing face.

Speaker 15 The wealthy are people too.

Speaker 7 From the Trust Belt in Connecticut to the tech ghettos of Silicon Valley, the rich are being unfairly vilified.

Speaker 7 But DeFuria and Goldberg's research at their Money, Meeting and and Choices Institute/slash website has identified an even more serious problem.

Speaker 13 We coined the phrase Suddenwell syndrome.

Speaker 7 Suddenwealth syndrome.

Speaker 13 SWS. To describe the psychological issues and symptoms that many people experience as a consequence of coming into new or sudden wealth.

Speaker 6 They have problems, and that's why we coined the term SWS.

Speaker 7 If you contracted SWS, could that ever lead to full-blown RBS?

Speaker 13 What's that?

Speaker 7 Restless butler syndrome. We're not going to bite on that date.

Speaker 8 Next question.

Speaker 7 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Making up a condition and giving it an acronym to make it sound more legitimate is pretty foolish.

Speaker 3 Anyway, USA, SWS, 717.

Speaker 7 Sure, the poor and the middle class are worried about having enough food, but the wealthy have to worry about whether or not their waiter is recording them while they mock half the country.

Speaker 7 It's a painful reality that afflicts at least 1% of the 1%.

Speaker 7 So let's say I've created a hot new app.

Speaker 13 Right.

Speaker 7 It's called Dick Widget.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 7 Now I'm worth worth $100 million.

Speaker 7 Can you help me?

Speaker 13 Well, we'd begin by asking you what Dick Widget is, yes. Well, no, I don't really care what Dick Widget is.

Speaker 7 Well, no, Dick Widget is an app that draws on people's faces.

Speaker 13 So it doesn't really matter how you made your money or what you.

Speaker 13 You got it. You got lucky.

Speaker 7 Well, not really. Dick Widget was very popular.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but we don't really need to know about the details of your business. We really need to understand why it is you're coming to us.
I don't know.

Speaker 7 You tell me you're the shrinks.

Speaker 6 What are the needs and wants that you have that have nothing to do with your pocketbook anymore?

Speaker 13 For example, if I gave you this briefcase and it was filled with millions of dollars.

Speaker 10 Millions of dollars from it.

Speaker 13 Jason, you got it. All right.

Speaker 18 Pretty damn good right now.

Speaker 13 You feel pretty good right now, kid. And then what's going to happen?

Speaker 10 What do you do with your life? I don't know. Coke, hookers.

Speaker 6 So this is what we call the honeymoon phase of getting money.

Speaker 13 Okay. I've done that for a while.

Speaker 10 And then what's going to happen? More Coke, more hookers.

Speaker 13 Most people find after six months or a year and they say, well, now what?

Speaker 6 We're all going to die. So in between the time between now and when we die, what do we fill our time with?

Speaker 7 Get down to business, open a nightclub called Double J's.

Speaker 13 And then what would you do?

Speaker 7 Start a basketball league on jet skis.

Speaker 6 That make you happy?

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 7 I gotta tell you guys, I do not see a bad outcome here.

Speaker 7 But only after walking a mile in a rich person's $4,000 feragamos did I truly know the paralyzing anxiety of sudden wealth.

Speaker 14 Sweetheart, please.

Speaker 7 Thank you very much.

Speaker 7 It's table salt.

Speaker 7 Yep, I did it.

Speaker 7 And as the developer of the revolutionary app Dick Widget and creator of the world's most popular sport, I was glad I had mental health professionals like Defuria and Goldberg to help me confront my demons.

Speaker 13 You're now

Speaker 13 a rich guy. You're like dozens and dozens of people here in Silicon Valley.
And all of a sudden, you're no longer Jason, the computer programmer.

Speaker 7 It's coming out your cheek.

Speaker 4 Uh-oh.

Speaker 7 Thank you, Dr. Goldberg.
I'm feeling better already.

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Speaker 11 There is an ongoing argument in this very country about how best to close the enormous deficit that we have incurred.

Speaker 11 The Republicans have proposed doing it entirely through spending cuts, whereas the Democrats have bravely fought back, insisting we do it almost entirely through spending cuts.

Speaker 11 Well, this week, bizarrely uneccentric billionaire Warren Buffett

Speaker 11 entered the fray.

Speaker 23 The billionaire says, while most Americans struggle to make ends meet, we mega-rich continue to get our extraordinary tax breaks.

Speaker 20 My friends and I have been coddled long enough.

Speaker 5 I pay a lower tax rate on much of my income than my cleaning lady does.

Speaker 11 Well, to be fair, Warren Buffett's cleaning lady is also a billionaire.

Speaker 11 Warren Buffett's op-ed was a thoughtful treatise on the advantages the super wealthy currently enjoy at the hands of the tax code. Or, to put that another way, up next tonight, Warren Buffett.

Speaker 29 Class warfare.

Speaker 28 More class warfare from an affable billionaire who should stop assuming the rich are all billionaires.

Speaker 30 Warren Buffett wrote an op-ed.

Speaker 31 Is he completely a socialist?

Speaker 11 Is Warren Buffett a socialist?

Speaker 11 You really have no fing clue what socialism is, do you?

Speaker 11 Hey, hey, that George Clooney always banging different broads. What a queer.

Speaker 19 So

Speaker 11 closing a few corporate tax loopholes and returning the top marginal tax rate to the 90s economic boom time levels is class warfare.

Speaker 11 And if there's one thing the the rich have learned, it's that class warfare is hell.

Speaker 33 He invoked the corporate jet class.

Speaker 34 So that's a whole new category of people to demonize, right?

Speaker 35 Soak the rich, it's their fault.

Speaker 36 Barack Obama's tax on these evil, disgusting corporate jet owners.

Speaker 31 Demonizing the rich as evil, as lazy, as inheritors of their wealth, he's saying they're fat cats.

Speaker 25 It's disappointing.

Speaker 25 It's class warfare and it's the kind of language that you would expect from a leader of a third world country, not the president of the United States.

Speaker 7 It's true, because

Speaker 11 the United States of America is not a third world country by any measure, except perhaps income inequality,

Speaker 11 where we rank

Speaker 11 worse than the Ivory Coast, worse than Cameroon.

Speaker 37 64th!

Speaker 11 Ah, in your face, Uruguay, Jamaica, and Uganda.

Speaker 11 Uganda?

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 30 Uganda.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Keep trying, Rwanda.

Speaker 11 Wow.

Speaker 11 And by the way, not only is closing corporate loopholes,

Speaker 14 you are a nerd crowd.

Speaker 30 There is no doubt in my mind.

Speaker 11 By the way, not only is closing corporate loopholes and raising the marginal tax rate class warfare,

Speaker 16 it totally wouldn't even work.

Speaker 22 You can tax rich people all you want, and you're not going to focus on our profits.

Speaker 25 The idea that if we raise taxes, as the president said, on millionaires and billionaires, raise taxes on oil companies, raise taxes on owners of private jets, that that somehow is going to make a difference.

Speaker 38 The president wants to raise the top two income tax rates, which would raise about $700 billion over 10 years. You know what? That's only a tiny fraction of the federal government's deficit.

Speaker 11 $700 billion over 10 years.

Speaker 11 $700 billion. That's less money than Warren Bubbet's cleaning lady pulls out of his shower drain every week.

Speaker 24 No, I don't. So,

Speaker 40 Joe Miller.

Speaker 11 So, $700 billion of raised revenue over 10 years ain't even worth the effort.

Speaker 11 I assume these folks have the same why-bother attitude towards low-level spending cuts.

Speaker 34 National Endowment for the Arts, National Endowment for the Humanities, all those kind of frivolous things, those should all be on the chopping block.

Speaker 17 Federal employees don't pay for parking, so if they just set up a parking for that, that'd get them $140 million.

Speaker 28 He doesn't have to waste your tax dollars and travel around in a $1.1 million dollar luxury liner.

Speaker 8 Why are we spending $6 million? Why are we spending $1 million on the First Lady?

Speaker 34 You got to start somewhere.

Speaker 23 Even when we talk about NPR, a million dollars here, that's a million dollars.

Speaker 11 Oh, so when you cut it, it's a million dollars.

Speaker 11 But when you tax it, it's $700 million.

Speaker 11 I mean, all we'd have to do to raise $700 billion is cut 700,000 NPRs.

Speaker 37 It's almost too easy.

Speaker 11 But if it's revenue you want,

Speaker 11 there does happen to be another place, instead of the rich, that you can look for it.

Speaker 28 Warren Buffett are writing how the rich should pay more taxes, but saying not a word about the half of American households that pay no income taxes at all.

Speaker 22 Is that fair when half the population pays absolutely nothing?

Speaker 41 51%,

Speaker 29 that's a majority of American households, paid no income tax in 2009.

Speaker 2 Zero. Zip.

Speaker 16 Nada.

Speaker 42 Many of them get so much money in tax credits that it wipes out any social security taxes or Medicare taxes they're paying. They are absolutely on a free ride.

Speaker 11 You hear that, Poor's?

Speaker 11 The free ride is star over.

Speaker 11 So it looks like you'll be walking to work, assuming you... have a job.
Chances are you probably don't have a job. So why are you asking us for a ride?

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 37 the solution

Speaker 11 to our economic problem,

Speaker 11 the solution to our economic problem isn't taxing the rich.

Speaker 12 It's broaden the tax base.

Speaker 34 Everyone needs to pay something.

Speaker 28 Before you start demanding one group pay more, maybe get everyone to put skin in the game.

Speaker 11 That's the problem with poor people. They still have some of their skin.

Speaker 2 But you know what?

Speaker 11 Maybe they're right. Maybe Fox is right.
Maybe the bottom 50% of Americans, while they already pay excise and payroll and Medicare taxes, do need to pay more. I mean, they can spare it.

Speaker 11 After all, they control 2.5%

Speaker 11 of our nation's wealth. Oh, you know what? Actually, this is a pretty easy calculation.
We can do this. The bottom 50% is just simple math.

Speaker 11 In dollar figures, the bottom 50% of this country have $1.45 trillion

Speaker 11 in everything they own on this earth.

Speaker 11 So let's see, they have $1.45 trillion. So what do you say we take? I don't know, half of that.
That'd be, oh, look at this, $700 billion.

Speaker 6 Why does that figure sound so familiar?

Speaker 38 The president wants to raise the top two income tax rates, which would raise about $700 billion over 10 years. You know what? That's only a tiny fraction of the federal government's deficit.

Speaker 11 So raising the income tax rate on the top 2% of earners would raise $700 billion, but taking half of everything the bottom 50% have in this country would do the same. I see the problem here.

Speaker 14 We need to take all of what the bottom 50% have.

Speaker 11 All of it. It's the only way to make a significant dent.

Speaker 37 Now we're up to $1.4 trillion. and if you're worried about the poor don't

Speaker 11 because they're defined by the census as a family of four making less than $22,350 a year.

Speaker 14 Four.

Speaker 11 $22,350 a year. They'll be fine.

Speaker 22 Poor families in the United States are not what they used to be.

Speaker 43 When you look at the actual living conditions of the 43 million people that the census says are poor, you see that in fact they have all these modern conveniences.

Speaker 22 99% of them have a refrigerator.

Speaker 24 99%

Speaker 11 have refrigerators.

Speaker 11 You food chilling mother.

Speaker 11 How dare you?

Speaker 11 That's why it makes complete sense.

Speaker 11 That's why it makes complete sense that the word poor in that graphic is in quotations.

Speaker 11 These people aren't poor.

Speaker 19 They're...

Speaker 11 I'm sure the other 1% of those people who don't have refrigerators don't have them, not because they don't have food, because they're always ordering room service.

Speaker 11 These poor people are living like they just want to showcase showdown.

Speaker 22 81% have a microwave. 78% have air conditioning.
63% have cable TV. 54% have cell phones.
48% have a coffee maker. 25% have a dishwasher.

Speaker 11 25% have a dishwasher?

Speaker 11 Although to be fair, after a 12-hour shift of washing dishes, the last thing you want is to bring your work home with you.

Speaker 11 So you see, the problem with increasing the marginal tax rate on the rich and closing some corporate tax loopholes isn't that it engages in class warfare.

Speaker 11 It's that it's fighting on the wrong side of the war.

Speaker 36 It is all out war on the productive class in our society for the benefit of the moocher class.

Speaker 22 The makers and the takers.

Speaker 44 They want to take it from somebody else.

Speaker 33 Everyone's jumping in the wagon.

Speaker 34 No one wants to pull.

Speaker 36 Parasites we have out there dependent on government.

Speaker 18 The raccoons.

Speaker 45 They're not stupid.

Speaker 45 They're going to do the easy way if we make it easy for them, just like welfare recipients all across America.

Speaker 33 Welfare will create generations of utterly irresponsible animals.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Those people.

Speaker 11 The poor.

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Speaker 11 As we've just seen earlier, last night Mitt Romney won big in Florida, cementing his frontrunner status. And today, he's on to the morning shows for a quick little victory lap.

Speaker 12 By the way, I'm in this race because I care about Americans. I'm not concerned about the very poor.
We have a safety net there. If it needs a repair, I'll fix it.

Speaker 12 I'm not concerned about the very rich. They're doing just fine.

Speaker 11 Did you just suggest that you don't need to care about the very rich because they're fine,

Speaker 11 but also equivalently the very poor because they're okay too? Because you know the reason the net is there

Speaker 11 is they're not okay.

Speaker 11 It's like a doctor going, you know, I'm not concerned about the very healthy because they're doing fine, or the very sick because, you know, morphine.

Speaker 19 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 19 But you know what, maybe I heard it wrong.

Speaker 11 I could have heard it wrong. You know, obviously, did that sound weird to anybody else?

Speaker 26 You just said, I'm not concerned about the very poor because they have a safety net. And I think there are lots of very poor Americans who are struggling who would say, that sounds odd.

Speaker 26 Can you explain that?

Speaker 14 TV news person just heard what candidate said and then stopped him and

Speaker 18 made him spleen himself.

Speaker 11 Like a flower blooming in the desert.

Speaker 19 Quick!

Speaker 11 Someone dig that up and get it away from CNN before one one of their giant holographic monitors falls and crushes it.

Speaker 12 Well, you had to finish the sentence, Soledad. I said, I'm not concerned about the very poor that have a safety net, but if it has holes in it, I will repair them.

Speaker 11 Right, but it's still a f ⁇ ing net.

Speaker 11 And here's the thing about being in a net. Being in a net is bad, whether you're a butterfly or a fish or a trapeze artist, or a poor person.

Speaker 19 If you're in a net, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

Speaker 11 But you know what? I'm sure if Romney gets a chance to clarify his statements, he'll in no way reinforce his aristocratic patrician, master of the universe-ishness.

Speaker 12 The challenge right now,

Speaker 12 we will hear from the Democrat Party the plight of the poor. And there's no question, it's not good being poor.

Speaker 11 I mean, they've got to play tennis on public courts.

Speaker 11 Ride rental ponies when their butlers tuck them in at night. I can only imagine the threat count on their linens.

Speaker 11 My point is, we don't need to be concerned about it.

Speaker 11 For more on Mitt Romney's apparent conflation of the very rich and very poor as constituencies unneeding of attention, we're joined by Jason Jones and John Oliver.

Speaker 39 Very nice to see you.

Speaker 39 All right.

Speaker 19 We're going to start here.

Speaker 11 Team Very Poor, we're going to start with you.

Speaker 35 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, nice try there, Stuart. Okay, but we're not going to play your little class warfare experiment.
Yeah, we're not going to let you divide us.

Speaker 11 I'm not trying to divide you, but you both represent the two most extreme socioeconomic groups in this country.

Speaker 35 No, don't try to pit the 1% against the equivalent 1%.

Speaker 11 Actually, I think your numbers might be off. You're 1%, but this is actually larger.
Very poor is like 7%. Poverty is like 15%.

Speaker 39 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 35 We're exactly

Speaker 46 the same. We're two peas in a pod.

Speaker 49 Bugs in my bed.

Speaker 35 I say potato.

Speaker 48 And I say, do you actually have a potato? Because I could eat the hell out of a potato right now.

Speaker 11 I am massively hungry. But Timothy, so both of you are okay with Governor Romney saying that each of these constituencies can be ignored because they're doing okay.

Speaker 50 Absolutely, yes.

Speaker 35 I mean, I can take all my massive real estate holdings and defer the taxes through 1031 exchanges and minimize my IRS exposure through my Cayman Islands subsidiaries and an almost sarcastic amount of trusts.

Speaker 50 So don't worry about me. I'm fine.

Speaker 11 John?

Speaker 48 Well, I receive $12 per day from the government.

Speaker 48 So no worries about me.

Speaker 48 Pretty comfortable safety nets.

Speaker 46 Twinsies!

Speaker 39 Right.

Speaker 35 You know what's funny is I have a net too.

Speaker 35 Well, it's more like a golden parachute, but same idea.

Speaker 48 Sorry,

Speaker 35 our life experiences are incredibly similar.

Speaker 48 Yeah, we both love to fish.

Speaker 35 That's true. Last week I went fishing fishing for Marlin down in Key West.

Speaker 48 Yeah, and just yesterday, I was under a bridge in the East River trying to augment my protein intake.

Speaker 48 I caught a boot and a used condom.

Speaker 25 Delicious.

Speaker 50 Well, we both like baseball.

Speaker 48 Yes, go sports.

Speaker 51 We both love modern family.

Speaker 11 Yeah, who doesn't?

Speaker 46 And we're taxed at the same rate.

Speaker 47 Yep.

Speaker 51 Wait, what? How the f is that possible?

Speaker 51 How does that for f ⁇ ing sakes?

Speaker 51 You

Speaker 35 have no idea how much money it costs to get that kind of stuff through.

Speaker 51 He is right there, to be fair.

Speaker 11 Right, but do you see no difference then in your circumstance? You don't see it?

Speaker 35 No, you can't divide us with your class warfare, Stuart.

Speaker 49 I am rich. And I am poor.

Speaker 39 When we go home, we both walk through front doors.

Speaker 35 Mine is solid solid mahogany.

Speaker 39 I don't really have a door.

Speaker 35 It's true, it's a beaded curtain.

Speaker 49 I am poor and I am rich.

Speaker 46 I like forgra.

Speaker 48 I don't know what that is.

Speaker 18 So please don't be concerned about us.

Speaker 39 Cause we're both okay.

Speaker 48 Except for me, I'm not okay.

Speaker 39 He's fine. I'm not okay.
I truly not the same. He's not the same.
Jason Jones is down and

Speaker 39 we'll be right back.

Speaker 52 Last week brought unexpected news from Wall Street. The Dow Jones industrial average hit a record high.
And you know what that means?

Speaker 52 The rich are even richer and need to find more ways to dispose of their money. Like this Wall Street executive who went to France to buy a $4 million custom-built Ferrari.

Speaker 53 Pina Farina designed and made all of the engineering, so it was really what my dream was. They said, what is your dream?

Speaker 53 And once I told them, they scanned me and then they put me in virtual reality and they made sure that I would feel comfortable driving and reaching for the controls.

Speaker 52 Unlike those skanky off-the-rack Ferraris.

Speaker 37 Where's the steering wheel on this thing?

Speaker 52 A gear shift there?

Speaker 14 Somebody pull over.

Speaker 52 Ferrari, not fast enough? The Russian space program is so bankrupt, it's letting millionaires hitch rides on their rockets.

Speaker 52 The latest astro tourist, American Anoush Ansari, who spent 11 days in orbit, priced $20 million.

Speaker 52 Expensive?

Speaker 2 You bet.

Speaker 52 But it was the only way she could achieve her lifelong dream of flying over every single starving person on Earth and yelling, hey, look at what I'm spending my money on.

Speaker 52 Looking for a cheaper rocket ride?

Speaker 52 Richard Branson, the leathery mogul behind Virgin Airways, has started Virgin Galactic, which offers to shoot you and five friends up into the Great Beyond for the low-low price of $1.7 million.

Speaker 52 Afterwards, you'll even get whisked off for a vacation on Sir Richard's private Caribbean island retreat. And for an extra million, you can spend that vacation without Richard Branson.

Speaker 52 If the lure of space is stronger than your earnings potential, you can always haul your life savings to a Star Trek auction.

Speaker 52 Like this one at Christie's in New York, where at least one loser went home a loser.

Speaker 15 I was trying to get the captain's chair, but when it went for $53,000, I said I'll go for the consoles instead.

Speaker 52 Sadly the consoles also proved too costly but for $800 the autographed pair of Captain Picard's Space Sundays was his.

Speaker 52 But while most millionaires are looking for ways to spend what they have, New York Knicks guard Stefan Marberry is out to keep inner city kids from spending what they don't.

Speaker 52 He's developed a line of cheap sportswear. The most expensive item is the Starberry One, a basketball shoe that sells for $14.98.

Speaker 54 We're putting people in a situation where they can buy something that's affordable. Everybody wants to have that.
I don't care who you are. Everybody wants the deal.

Speaker 52 Not everybody, Stefan.

Speaker 52 You hear about the puts who just spent $4 million on a Ferrari?

Speaker 27 John?

Speaker 14 Thank you very much, Lord. Move back, everybody.

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Speaker 40 So the Democrats are launching multiple investigations into Trump. And the thing he's most worried about them getting is his tax returns.

Speaker 40 You see, President Trump doesn't want them knowing how much money he has or where the money has gone. And it turns out he isn't the only rich person having sleepless nights.

Speaker 40 Many real billionaires are also worried about the Democrats coming after their taxes, too.

Speaker 32 Senator Elizabeth Warren wants a new tax on the richest Americans. She's calling it the ultra-millionaire tax.

Speaker 32 It would impose a 2% tax on Americans whose net worth exceeds 50 million bucks with an additional 1% levy on billionaires.

Speaker 32 And newly elected Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez proposed marginal tax rates as high as 70% to fund a climate change plan called the Green New Deal.

Speaker 20 A growing number of Americans, 76%,

Speaker 20 support making the super rich, I'm not talking about the average rich, the super rich pay more in taxes.

Speaker 40 So, Elizabeth Warren and Ocasio-Cortez are coming for the super rich. Which, by the way, sounds like the most useless superhero ever.

Speaker 40 Help me, super rich!

Speaker 24 That speeding bus is headed right for my kid.

Speaker 2 Don't worry, I'll buy you a new kid.

Speaker 16 Super rich buys the day.

Speaker 40 Now, a lot of people try and paint Elizabeth Warren and Ocasio-Cortez as these fringe socialists. But the truth is, 76% of Americans supporting the raising of taxes means it's not that fringe.

Speaker 40 That's a really impressive number because usually the only thing 76% of Americans agree on is that extra guac should be free.

Speaker 24 Yeah, and it should be. Guacamole is a human right.

Speaker 40 But it really shouldn't come as a surprise that people want to tax the super wealthy, especially since we've been hearing so much about how well they're doing.

Speaker 56 Around the world, billionaire wealth enjoyed its greatest ever increase in 2017. The total wealth of global billionaires grew to $8.9 trillion.

Speaker 57 Just 26 people now control as much wealth as half of the Earth's population.

Speaker 29 The three wealthiest people in the United States, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and Warren Buffett, now own more wealth than the entire bottom half of the American population, combined a total of 163 million people or 63 million households.

Speaker 11 Holy shit.

Speaker 40 Three dudes have as much money as the poorest 163 million people in America. Honestly, do we even have to tell them that we're taxing them?

Speaker 9 Like, because I don't even think they'd notice.

Speaker 40 They'd just be like, yeah, yeah, just take it. Just take it.

Speaker 16 What are you talking about?

Speaker 40 What taxes? What are you talking about? They wouldn't notice. It's like if you took one tattoo away from Adam Levine, he's never going to know.

Speaker 40 So, because most of the world's wealth is becoming more and more concentrated, most people are on board with raising taxes on the super rich.

Speaker 40 Although, if you asked the super rich, they've got a billion reasons why their taxes shouldn't go up.

Speaker 44 What do you think of Senator Warren's idea of a tax on wealth? We shouldn't be embarrassed about our system.

Speaker 44 If you want to look at a system that's non-capitalistic, just take a look at what was perhaps the wealthiest country in the world, and today people are starving to death. It's called Venezuela.

Speaker 58 If the Democrats are proposing anything close to a 70% level of income tax, how many core Democrats are going to be supportive of a move towards socialism?

Speaker 12 Not very many.

Speaker 58 President Trump will get re-elected.

Speaker 40 You don't have to be a genius to see what's happening here. These billionaires are fear-mongering, right? They're making it seem like there are only two options in life.

Speaker 40 Either they have low taxes or we starve to death in Trump Azuela.

Speaker 24 And it's bullshit, though. It is.

Speaker 40 There's a middle ground.

Speaker 40 This is the same logic that guys use to get their girlfriends to have sex.

Speaker 19 It's like, either we bone or my balls are going to explode, okay?

Speaker 19 It's called blue balls.

Speaker 18 It's really painful.

Speaker 24 Why don't you just jack off? It's not the same.

Speaker 40 It is the same. Just let it out.

Speaker 24 There's a middle ground. For more on this, we turn to a man with two calculator apps on his phone.

Speaker 2 Ronnie Chang, everybody!

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Ronnie.

Speaker 40 As someone who's deep into finance, what do you think about this new drive to raise taxes on the rich?

Speaker 8 I'll be honest, Trevor, I used to support it, but then I became a crazy rich Asian. And now that I've made some money, I realize there is no difference between passing taxes on the rich and 9-11.

Speaker 8 Both attack American values and both were done by the federal government.

Speaker 40 I've told you, don't bring your conspiracy theories to the daily show. I keep them on YouTube.
Anyway,

Speaker 40 I'm shocked, Ronnie, that you're against taxing the super rich. Why would you be against that?

Speaker 8 Okay, let me explain something to you, Trevor. Okay, when you don't have money, you think small.

Speaker 8 You stop believing we need taxes to pay for better schools or roads or health care for a better society.

Speaker 8 But once you have money, you see the bigger picture, which is that flying in private jets is awesome, all right? So let's quit hating successful people.

Speaker 8 Trevor, not only should rich people pay less taxes, but billionaires should pay none.

Speaker 24 Whoa, no taxes for billionaire?

Speaker 40 Why would you say this, dude? You're not even a billionaire.

Speaker 9 No, you're not a billionaire, right?

Speaker 8 But I will be as soon as my new product idea takes off, okay? Get this. It's a refrigerator that screams when it's empty.

Speaker 14 Ronnie, that is a terrible idea.

Speaker 8 You're such a jealous bitch. All right, here's my point, America.
These socialist haters are just trying to trap us, okay?

Speaker 8 They're going to trick us into raising taxes on billionaires, but then once we all become billionaires, we'll be the ones getting screwed.

Speaker 40 Yeah, Ronnie, you see, that's the trap. Billionaires act like with enough hard work, anyone can become super rich.
But the odds are insanely small.

Speaker 40 Like, there's only 3,000 billionaires in the entire world.

Speaker 8 Correction. Trevor, it's going to be 3,001 after my Shriko Freeze 5,000 hits the market.
The slogan is, Ice Cream, You Scream, We All Scream When There's No Ice Cream.

Speaker 30 Australia, the country named after the 2008 Hugh Jackman film, Australia.

Speaker 30 It's where one billionaire is learning that money can't buy you respect.

Speaker 34 An Australian billionaire is apparently not too happy with a portrait of herself that's on public display.

Speaker 17 That is Australia's richest woman, Gina Reinhart. She is one of 21 people featured in the Australia in Color exhibit that's been on display since March at the National Gallery of Australia.

Speaker 17 It's reported Reinhardt is demanding that the gallery remove the portrait.

Speaker 16 Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 30 Remove the portrait? What's the matter? You don't want people to know you testified at Donald Trump's trial?

Speaker 30 But anyway, what's the big deal with having an unflattering painting of you? You don't see any of Picasso's models complaining that their eye is on their forehead.

Speaker 31 Suck it up, lady.

Speaker 30 And even if you don't like it, don't whine about it. Whining is what the rest of of us do.
Whining is free.

Speaker 14 You have money.

Speaker 30 Just pay another artist to paint a flattering portrait of you. Then buy the museum and hang your portrait over the other portrait.

Speaker 30 Then burn the whole museum down for the insurance money, and you end up making a profit. Billionaire shit.

Speaker 31 Let's go.

Speaker 52 But this story, yeah, I mean, use your head.

Speaker 30 But this story is really the proof that maybe billionaires aren't as smart as we all think they are.

Speaker 30 You know, if this woman hadn't complained about this painting, practically nobody would have ever seen it. Hell, I never would have heard of Gina Reinhardt or Australia, for that matter.

Speaker 30 Animals with pockets?

Speaker 31 Who thinks of this stuff?

Speaker 47 Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 47 Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Speaker 47 This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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