Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.

Speaker 2 You're listening to Comedy Central.

Speaker 3 From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news.
This is the Daily Show with your host, John Stewart.

Speaker 3 Welcome to the Daily Show. My name is John Stewart.

Speaker 5 We got a great show for you tonight, my friend.

Speaker 5 I got a new tie.

Speaker 6 Is it chart?

Speaker 5 I'll tell you what, we got a great one.

Speaker 3 Paul Rudd is going to go.

Speaker 8 Paul Rudd finally had the balls

Speaker 10 to come on this show after weeks of calling me a propagandist.

Speaker 11 Know this, our interview will be unedited.

Speaker 8 Rudd's going down.

Speaker 3 It's happening.

Speaker 2 I'm going to give that dude an infection of the perineal.

Speaker 12 I spent, I should explain.

Speaker 13 We spent, we come out early, I do a little warm-up with the audience, and for some unknown reason, and it really was not prompted.

Speaker 12 I was trying to discuss the relationship between asthma medication and a side effect of an infection of the perineum

Speaker 12 unfortunately I have no one in the audience who was able to satisfy my curiosity on that

Speaker 21 those of you at home who may be looking it up right now

Speaker 8 wait till the commercial break

Speaker 15 But first, a quick update on an administration that is once again carrying out its plans with competence and professionalism.

Speaker 1 A reporter from the Atlantic says he was mistakenly added to a group chat with top members of the Trump administration as they were texting back and forth about highly sensitive war plans.

Speaker 1 Jeffrey Goldberg says he was included in a group chat full of our nation's top security officials discussing what we can only assume to be top secret plans to bomb Houthi targets across Yemen on March 15th.

Speaker 1 Everything from the weapons America would be deploying to the timing and the attack sequences.

Speaker 22 Oopsie poopsie.

Speaker 14 You know, back in my day, if you were a journalist who wanted leaked war documents, you had to work the sources, meet them in a dark garage, earn the trust, pound the pavement.

Speaker 2 Now, you just wait for the National Security Advisor to be distracted by white lotus while he's setting up his Bom Yemen

Speaker 24 group chat.

Speaker 25 Are those guys jerking each other off?

Speaker 27 By the way, I might be in this group chat.

Speaker 12 I don't know.

Speaker 22 I don't check my group chats.

Speaker 15 Perhaps my favorite text of the entire group chain was the one from our defense secretary saying, quote, we are currently clean on OPSEC.

Speaker 8 For those of you who don't know, OPSEC means operational security.

Speaker 24 He said that in a group chat.

Speaker 24 A group chat with a journalist.

Speaker 15 The journalist said that he didn't think that the story was real until Yemen was bombed.

Speaker 8 Oh, did I bring you down?

Speaker 7 Let's move on.

Speaker 12 Because as you know, there are certain hypocrisies and absurdities that we find in our cultural moment that make for great fodder for humorous dialogue, a facial expression, a nod and a wink.

Speaker 31 Then there are other pronouncements by our elected officials, actions by our government, that are so baldly bullshit, even though you know it will have no effect, and that these powerful creatures have been genetically modified to resist shame, self-reflection of any kind,

Speaker 2 You just can't help yourself but to go old school daily showcotch.

Speaker 16 I'm talking about the debate on free speech.

Speaker 14 Now, as we know, conservatives have been very concerned about the loss of free speech in our country for a very long time.

Speaker 1 Bullies on the left aiming to silence conservatives. Free speech is under siege in this country.
The leftists, they've become the thought police.

Speaker 1 They basically declare themselves God and judge us for our thoughts.

Speaker 33 George Orwell was right.

Speaker 1 The thought police come next to punish thought crime.

Speaker 33 Be very,

Speaker 33 very scared.

Speaker 33 I am

Speaker 15 perhaps not for the reasons you

Speaker 35 are the thought police with you right now, Jimmy.

Speaker 3 Are they in the bottle?

Speaker 36 But luckily, our national free speech nightmare recently came to an end when we entered the golden age of Donald Jehosafeffer Trump.

Speaker 38 We have saved free speech in America, and we've saved it strongly. Free speech in America.
It's back.

Speaker 39 Thank God we have a president now who believes in free speech.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Thank God.

Speaker 23 We have a president now who believes in free speech.

Speaker 9 Just go ahead, roll through 12.

Speaker 38 I believe that CNN and MSDNC, what they do is illegal.

Speaker 37 I think CBS should lose its license, but I think ABC should lose its license also because of what they've done.

Speaker 7 I watched what happened live.

Speaker 40 I think Bravo should also lose their license.

Speaker 40 What they did to Dorinda on traders, they...

Speaker 41 They should be sent to a Salvadorian aloe.

Speaker 3 This is what I'm talking about.

Speaker 16 Generally you've got to search the archives for contradictions on one stated principles, dig through policy papers to uncover private actions that are undermined by someone's public stance.

Speaker 42 But this is so this is so blatant, I can't wrap my head around it.

Speaker 16 It's not even the hypocrisy.

Speaker 23 It's that they so

Speaker 8 fetishize free speech, this thing that they do not in any way actually practice.

Speaker 33 The freedom to speak our minds and express the truth that is our

Speaker 33 heart. Really, that's really a big chunk of our heart.

Speaker 9 Any cardiologist will tell you

Speaker 14 hearts come in chunks.

Speaker 13 Blood comes into the aorta to the right ventricle, passes through your speech chunk.

Speaker 43 But since coming into office, Trump and the Republicans have instituted policies that are a dagger right through many people's speech chunks.

Speaker 1 The White House has barred the Associated Press from presidential events because the AP has refused to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America in its style book.

Speaker 46 And in a dramatic escalation against the American legal legal system, Trump this weekend directed his government to target law firms battling his actions.

Speaker 1 Federal immigration officials arrested a Palestinian activist who helped lead last year's student encampment protest at Columbia.

Speaker 37 I think we ought to get them all out of the country. They're troublemakers, they're agitators, they don't love our country.

Speaker 37 My chunks!

Speaker 26 My precious chunks, my lovely lady chunks.

Speaker 47 Not chunks, not chunks, my lovely lady

Speaker 21 You're making my perineum tingle.

Speaker 9 Here's the thing.

Speaker 20 These attacks on free speech, especially the one where they deported that activist, if there's one thing that I know about the powerful principles at our higher education institutions, they will not be bullied by a roll 212.

Speaker 1 Columbia University is bowing to President Trump's demands, announcing it will change a number of policies.

Speaker 50 Among them, placing the school's Middle Eastern, South Asian, and African Studies Department under academic receivership for at least five years.

Speaker 44 Some students protest the war in Gaza.

Speaker 22 Suddenly a whole academic department is on double secret probation with government oversight.

Speaker 44 And by the way, okay, Middle East part, African studies?

Speaker 3 What the f do they do?

Speaker 15 Sure, the African studies professor is like, I teach intermediate Swahili.

Speaker 25 See, these guys don't give a f about free speech, they care about their speech.

Speaker 44 It's so blatant, the hypocrisy.

Speaker 22 It's so old-school daily show gotcha.

Speaker 2 You know what? I'm just going to put on the wig I used to wear during those years.

Speaker 22 Because the depocracy is just so here's Donald Trump on those who would criticize judges that he has appointed.

Speaker 38 A lot of the judges that I had, if you look at them, they take tremendous abuse and it's truly interference, in my opinion. And it should be illegal and it probably is illegal in some form.

Speaker 40 Yes, criticizing judges.

Speaker 31 It is interference. It should be illegal.

Speaker 26 Tremendous abuse. And four days later, not four

Speaker 3 days later,

Speaker 31 not a full French work week later.

Speaker 51 President Donald Trump just took to Truth Social and deemed this judge, responding to this decision here, calling him a radical left lunatic of a judge, a troublemaker, an agitator who was sadly appointed by Barack Hussein Obama.

Speaker 51 He says this judge should be impeached. The hypocrisy.

Speaker 51 It hurts.

Speaker 42 And are we really still doing the Barack Hussein Obama thing?

Speaker 3 Oh, free Harambe. Come on, people.

Speaker 18 See, what was the whole thing that they hated about the left on free speech?

Speaker 52 No one is saved from the left's word police.

Speaker 3 No one.

Speaker 12 What exactly would an actual government-run word police organization look like?

Speaker 39 The Trump administration is actively trying to purge the federal government of so-called woke initiatives.

Speaker 39 Government agencies have flagged hundreds of words to limit or avoid: words like DEI, BIPOC, anti-racism, Latinx, Native American, black, women.

Speaker 39 Seemingly random words like expression, at risk, political, and even mental health and sex.

Speaker 39 What's left?

Speaker 41 BIPOC and Latinx, I get that.

Speaker 40 You're not allowed to say sex.

Speaker 27 You can't say words like women or sex

Speaker 12 or hashtag me too.

Speaker 41 How can a lot of your cabinet members describe their weekends?

Speaker 25 You know, you can't protest in a way that

Speaker 2 you can't protest in a way that offends the right.

Speaker 23 You can't teach things that the right doesn't want you to teach.

Speaker 48 You can't read things that they don't want you to read.

Speaker 23 You can't use words that they don't want you to use, but they love free speech.

Speaker 15 I guess fear not.

Speaker 53 At least we'll always have art.

Speaker 54 President Trump demanding a painting of him be removed because he finds it unflattering.

Speaker 22 He's demanding they take it down because he believes this picture is unflattering, which really makes you think, do you think other pictures of you are flattering?

Speaker 55 At least in the painting, they blended the foundation into your hair.

Speaker 12 But painting is out.

Speaker 38 oddly enough there is still one area of free speech that the right defends non-hypocritically i think they've come a long way meta facebook mark zuckerberg came to the white house who i like much better now you know i have a warm spot in my heart for tick tock twitter now they call it x and it's great that elon bought that he's done us all a big favor he loves it meta x the tickety top

Speaker 15 why is it that they're so enamored with social media?

Speaker 56 Studies by the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and academic organizations have found that the site forced political content on users.

Speaker 45 That content was almost invariably pro-Trump, pro-Republican, and pro-Musk.

Speaker 45 Huh!

Speaker 17 The one area of free speech that they want to protect completely is the area that supports them and isn't actually free.

Speaker 43 Social media is algorithmic, and it advances with key demographics, or to put that in the most hilarious way possible.

Speaker 52 The president sat down with Outkicks Clay Travis on Air Force One to discuss the status of his second term.

Speaker 57 President Trump, getting to talk to you here on Air Force One.

Speaker 50 I wanted to start with this.

Speaker 57 Why do you think young men are so overwhelmingly coming in your direction?

Speaker 12 My work here is done.

Speaker 8 Perhaps I can answer that question.

Speaker 16 They are overwhelmingly coming in his direction because

Speaker 15 that is the direction they're facing.

Speaker 12 I don't know if you know how that works, but

Speaker 27 you really can't come in a direction you're not facing.

Speaker 13 Although, young men at that age, you could bank a shot.

Speaker 12 I could see one fly over the shoulder.

Speaker 27 Maybe a trick shot where they landed in a cup.

Speaker 55 You know where that would go viral?

Speaker 41 Social media.

Speaker 25 The one place the right will unequivocally protect free speech is the one place where the speech isn't actually free.

Speaker 22 Algorithms,

Speaker 17 it's speech incentivized for engagement and profit.

Speaker 8 It's manipulated.

Speaker 6 It just so happens that the same process that forces you to doom scroll somehow also draws you into Republican ideology.

Speaker 28 Social media is a machine designed to stimulate the reptilian parts of your brain that would otherwise beg you to go outside.

Speaker 28 It's like being impressed that casinos give out free food.

Speaker 3 It's not free!

Speaker 41 Social media isn't the town square open forum of ideas.

Speaker 22 It's got a plan.

Speaker 45 In the summer of 2019, Facebook created a fake account for a 41-year-old mom. They called her Carol Smith.

Speaker 45 Carol started off by liking a few popular conservative Facebook pages, but quickly Facebook began dragging her down a rabbit hole of misinformation.

Speaker 45 After only two days, Facebook recommended Carol follow a QAnon page, and a few days later, it suggested she follow another.

Speaker 45 By week three, Carol's feet had become, quote, a constant flow of misleading and polarizing content.

Speaker 22 Now, Carol Smith is a completely fictional character, and yet her children have stopped talking to her.

Speaker 23 Although she was apparently added to a Pentagon group chat

Speaker 58 and knows the details about when they're bombing.

Speaker 25 Guys, social media isn't the same as free speech. Social media is free speech in the way that Doritos are food.

Speaker 41 It's ultra-processed.

Speaker 55 It's designed in laboratories.

Speaker 26 It's the same mechanism that somehow convinced you that you should should eat a 50-story skyscraper of potato-ish.

Speaker 17 And the most disappointing thing, where are my conspiracy theorists at?

Speaker 2 Now that it's on the right.

Speaker 9 For God's sakes, billionaires are designing machines to manipulate our speech, to control our behavior, and rewire our brains.

Speaker 10 They're removing our regular speech and doing a, I don't know, great replacement of it

Speaker 43 to solidify their hold on power.

Speaker 43 Are you awake yet?

Speaker 23 Come on. You were with me on the lab leak thing.
Remember what happened? Come on.

Speaker 25 You've barely even touched your Epstein binders.

Speaker 55 Doesn't this bother you at all?

Speaker 59 Elon Musk has taken a very courageous stand for the First Amendment. He's tough as a pine knot.
And the man's got guts.

Speaker 59 He's got oranges the size of beach balls.

Speaker 9 Please stop with this foghorn leghorn bullshit.

Speaker 3 He's got oranges the size of baseball.

Speaker 27 But let me guess.

Speaker 36 How do you feel about other billionaires owning and manipulating our media?

Speaker 30 Mr. Soros

Speaker 59 is now the largest single shareholder in Odyssey radio stations.

Speaker 30 In America, you can't just go do this. Mr.
Soros is a billionaire.

Speaker 59 Pass me the sick bucket.

Speaker 3 Sit and write.

Speaker 13 Pass us all the mother sick bucket.

Speaker 58 When we come back, Paul Rowe will be joining us.

Speaker 47 They'll go away.

Speaker 47 Welcome back to the devil. So my next life, an actor, he stars in the new movie, Death of a Unicorn.

Speaker 58 Please welcome Paul Road.

Speaker 60 I'm uh I'm sorry, John.

Speaker 61 I'm just I'm on this new medication, and uh

Speaker 61 my perineum is on on fire.

Speaker 61 You know,

Speaker 2 here's how beautifully you craft these bits.

Speaker 36 It took me a while to understand that that was an inflamed perineum.

Speaker 7 At first, if I may,

Speaker 15 the physical crafting you do and obviously the stage fighting classes you've taken and all the things, the control you have over your body, at first I thought, sciatica?

Speaker 21 It's clearly in the nether region.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 48 It was the bowing of the legs.

Speaker 61 It's the telltale giveaway of an inflamed perineum.

Speaker 25 Do we think...

Speaker 32 Do we think it's

Speaker 7 should I go first?

Speaker 24 You go first. Okay.

Speaker 62 We hear perineum,

Speaker 61 but we've also heard perennium.

Speaker 21 I thought you were going to say taint.

Speaker 61 The layman's term, sure.

Speaker 12 Don't denigrate the term.

Speaker 61 Perennium sounds like a flower.

Speaker 3 A man's perennium.

Speaker 61 A perennium sounds like a flower.

Speaker 19 In many ways, isn't it?

Speaker 2 A delicate...

Speaker 5 The bouquet.

Speaker 61 Yes.

Speaker 13 The aroma. Yes, yes.

Speaker 18 Did you know in your life, first of all, the way you walk, it's the difference between just an actor and a craftsman.

Speaker 61 You got to throw your whole body into it.

Speaker 21 By the time you were done, my perineum hurt.

Speaker 9 That's how powerful it was.

Speaker 61 Transference. You felt it.
You felt it.

Speaker 13 That's good acting.

Speaker 7 Do you know what? Or is it acting?

Speaker 3 There is no way.

Speaker 53 Is that the one part of your body that is corroding?

Speaker 43 I think, is that your Achilles perineum?

Speaker 61 You know the portrait of Dorian Gray?

Speaker 61 I have a painting in my attic.

Speaker 61 I call it my attic.

Speaker 7 Miatica.

Speaker 61 That

Speaker 61 is just

Speaker 61 a

Speaker 61 rotting old decrepit taint.

Speaker 61 and I also have where it looks like a spaceship

Speaker 57 it's called the Perennium Falcon

Speaker 32 yeah I do hope you'll get that checked out

Speaker 61 that is uh it is it is I have wondered this do you know about the yeah all you can't every commercial is for a medication.

Speaker 50 No question.

Speaker 61 Everyone

Speaker 61 talks about the perennium and how it's some sort of side effect. The other thing they'd also mention is, which is in a way even more disconcerting, because they do it with kind of a cheery voice,

Speaker 61 it's talking about bloody or black stools.

Speaker 36 Is there a painting in your attic about that you want to

Speaker 3 tell us about?

Speaker 23 The only thing that drives me crazy, they always say, and don't take it. Like, they've given you five reasons not to take this.

Speaker 12 I mean, you've got to be thinking to yourself, the eczema was not that bad that I would risk my entire life.

Speaker 17 Would you rather have a little like flinking on your arm or one kid at the beach and he's like, on my elbow, and they're literally like, your balls will fall off.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 15 they go through that and they think like, oh, these five things will not have dissuaded you. The final one is always my favorite.

Speaker 35 And don't take it if you are allergic to it.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 62 I know.

Speaker 60 What's the giveaway?

Speaker 61 Oh, I think I might be allergic to this. Yeah, everything.

Speaker 22 How would you know unless.

Speaker 48 Paul, I'm going to be honest with you.

Speaker 3 Finally.

Speaker 15 I didn't even know you still did movies.

Speaker 36 I just thought we just, I thought you were a WebMD doctor, and I just brought you out here to talk strictly.

Speaker 3 What do you want to do? Yeah.

Speaker 48 Strictly.

Speaker 48 Medicines.

Speaker 20 Medicines.

Speaker 22 Do you have,

Speaker 21 I am at the point now where I'll read an article on biohacking

Speaker 20 and like and they'll be like, it's an injection of NAD and ultraviolet rays and you can't go outside for three months.

Speaker 29 And I'll be like, I would do that.

Speaker 61 There is,

Speaker 61 there is

Speaker 28 a thing that

Speaker 61 is so strange that we are so insistent on letting everyone believe they are sick in this country.

Speaker 35 Oh, shit, you just got real.

Speaker 61 Oh, no, but every commercial is one of these medicines. And my daughter, when she was little,

Speaker 61 you know, you just watch TV. It was unavoidable.

Speaker 61 You play games with your kids of like, all right, we're going to go through, we have to name,

Speaker 62 you have to come up with a food. We're going to go through eggs, like apple, banana, you know, cherries, whatever.

Speaker 48 We used to do. No, keep going.

Speaker 63 I wanna see how. I want to see.

Speaker 3 Dean would always throw

Speaker 3 a deal and we could never.

Speaker 60 But

Speaker 60 we used to do it.

Speaker 61 My daughter would be four years old, and we would do it with medicines.

Speaker 62 She'd like abilify.

Speaker 60 And I swear to God, we could make it through the entire alphabet.

Speaker 61 Four years old.

Speaker 60 Normally you skip X, but she's Zell Zeljan.

Speaker 3 It's

Speaker 7 not a bit. And it's really true.

Speaker 40 How many times are we going to do Zoiverax and Zithromax?

Speaker 60 Yeah, Xanax didn't even make the cuts.

Speaker 3 God damn.

Speaker 28 It is a very interesting, you know,

Speaker 61 remember Anison?

Speaker 61 Good old Anison.

Speaker 55 Right. And it cured everything.

Speaker 61 I just remember as a kid, I think all we had was Anison buffering bear.

Speaker 7 in like aspirin commercials.

Speaker 13 Looks like somebody lived in a nice neighborhood.

Speaker 41 I had St. Joseph's children's aspirin when I was 17 and had chlamydia.

Speaker 50 But

Speaker 50 how was your perineum?

Speaker 62 Gorgeous.

Speaker 8 As Rihanna would say, shine like a diamond.

Speaker 55 You could eat off of that thing.

Speaker 26 And boy, did did I try?

Speaker 61 We all tried.

Speaker 25 Can I tell you something?

Speaker 11 I've missed you.

Speaker 12 I've missed you, too.

Speaker 17 I haven't. I think the last time I...

Speaker 8 I see you every now and again at an event.

Speaker 9 Once I moved out of the city, once you move out of the city, for those urban sophisticates,

Speaker 20 you are a dead man.

Speaker 15 I live out in New Jersey, and I would say to Paul Red,

Speaker 3 hold on one second.

Speaker 14 Hard disagree.

Speaker 23 But I see you, you are living now the dream that I sometimes think of.

Speaker 20 Like your Kansas City Chiefs, they keep winning Super Bowls.

Speaker 15 You're out there with your son on the field, like celebrating the thing.

Speaker 18 It's such a magic guitar.

Speaker 29 Our kids are around the same age, so we're all, they're going through the thing.

Speaker 42 It's a big transition.

Speaker 18 like do you feel the emptiness of it all like that's that's slowly starting to to dawn on me yeah

Speaker 61 yeah i do i mean uh uh i certainly feel older my kids are older they have their own lives i mean i'm i'm sitting here you know getting nostalgic about the abilify game and and so as i'm talking about it and uh I see, you know, people with little kids, I'm like, I remember that.

Speaker 61 And I do feel...

Speaker 15 It's the whole, The thing for me, when I see someone whose kid is at that age where you can still do like the football hold,

Speaker 36 and you got the coffee in one hand and the kid in the other, and then so the cigarette can just dangle.

Speaker 3 Bang.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 15 It's a wild feeling when it washes over you, but it's also nice to, I guess, have them at that other, like, the conversations you can have with them are so much.

Speaker 61 Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, it's great. I mean, it's, you know, know, you always hear that, and that it's like, oh, every age is great, and it's, and it's true.
Right.

Speaker 61 And it's, and it's an amazing, it's an amazing thing. I was just, I was just in Australia, working in Australia, and my son was on break from school, and he came to visit.

Speaker 61 It was the first time ever by himself, and it was

Speaker 19 came to visit you in Australia. Yeah.

Speaker 17 Fantastic. It was great.

Speaker 22 Did you.

Speaker 15 The one thing I didn't do, and I probably should have done, is make friends.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 18 they have to be there.

Speaker 22 I own them.

Speaker 23 But when they leave,

Speaker 19 it's just me eating a Jersey Mike's by myself watching a game.

Speaker 61 Well, I don't know. Have you found this to be the case? Because I certainly have.
I think just as I get older, my world gets smaller.

Speaker 61 And as far as friends, I do have friends, but I'm not nearly as social as I used to be.

Speaker 61 i'm uh not on i i'm not on any actual social media i never have been so i do feel as if the world operates in a way that is i'm it's passing me by i uh

Speaker 62 i i i it's like i sit alone with books i sound like a

Speaker 3 simon and garfunko song

Speaker 3 i am a rock

Speaker 24 no this looks crazy i'm gonna tell you something look up for one second i do this every time we're together

Speaker 58 god my life is ⁇ ing horrible.

Speaker 2 Before I let you go, I want to show the audience something.

Speaker 21 I want everybody at home to look at this.

Speaker 24 Paul is older than I am.

Speaker 19 And if I go home right now, my guess is somebody has ruined my taint painting.

Speaker 61 Your tainting.

Speaker 3 You know,

Speaker 3 talk about an oil tainting.

Speaker 2 He's got the movies, Death of a Unicorn.

Speaker 21 It's going to be in theaters everywhere.

Speaker 19 Friendship with Tim Robinson, who may be the funniest man.

Speaker 48 I laugh.

Speaker 61 He's amazing. Amazing.
Tim Robinson.

Speaker 16 Tim Robinson, and you're in the movie Friendship,

Speaker 23 which will deal with the things that we're just talking about.

Speaker 18 And then a movie about killing unicorns.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Which we're not probably

Speaker 8 going to talk about that much.

Speaker 3 Fine.

Speaker 61 We're going to talk about any of this.

Speaker 36 How do you, when you get, because the movie, it's wild, and you'll love it, and Jen Ortega's in it, and she's great, and the cast is

Speaker 11 insane.

Speaker 20 But I can't,

Speaker 23 when they pitch to you, they go, Paul, there's this movie.

Speaker 36 We'd really love for you to be in it.

Speaker 35 You play a lawyer. And oh, what does the lawyer do?

Speaker 24 Well, he's around murderous unicorns.

Speaker 36 And is that when you go, like, look, where?

Speaker 24 I was in Marvel. I don't.

Speaker 61 I get a thing that says it's called Death of a Unicorn. I'm like, where do I sign?

Speaker 63 That's the beauty of the improv.

Speaker 3 That's it.

Speaker 29 Well, it is always a pleasure, and I hope that I host one day a week for the next 20 years, and you come back to see us again.

Speaker 61 I would love nothing more, John.

Speaker 3 I hope so, too. And the beginning party! It is everywhere, I'm pretty sure.
Thank you.

Speaker 5 Quick quick, we'll be right back. Nope, I got halfway through the background.

Speaker 54 Well John, we'll be covering the bankruptcy of 23andMe.

Speaker 54 It's a sad day for all the people who want to learn their family history, but a great day for all the secret fathers who wanted to keep that history quiet.

Speaker 54 And of course, smart people like myself don't just give out our genetic information. I keep mine safe and secure.

Speaker 14 Jesus, I'm sorry.

Speaker 9 Oh, for God's sakes.

Speaker 15 Ronnie, you just group texted me your entire DNA sequence.

Speaker 54 Okay, that was a small mistake, but otherwise, my OPSEC is totally clean here.

Speaker 58 Glad to hear it. Ronnie Chang, everybody.

Speaker 3 Oh, Miss Lee.

Speaker 47 I'm going to shut my real phone off.

Speaker 47 Oh, also,

Speaker 43 March 31st, next week, one week from today, maybe, night of too many stars at the Beacon Theater here in New York City, live comedy event benefiting autism programs nationwide.

Speaker 15 If you are in town, please consider buying tickets at the link below.

Speaker 10 Join me, and really too many stars.

Speaker 11 I can't even name them all.

Speaker 3 Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, a bunch of other people.

Speaker 19 Please join.

Speaker 11 Here it is.

Speaker 15 Your moment is in.

Speaker 1 President Donald Trump taking aim at a portrait of himself in the Colorado State Capitol. He's calling it distorted.
And Ken and I

Speaker 3 kind of agree.

Speaker 46 He took the Truth Social on Sunday to disparage the painting that was originally commissioned by the Colorado GOP in his post.

Speaker 7 He says that the painting was purposely distorted to a level that even I, perhaps, have never seen before.

Speaker 4 Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

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