If Trump Isn’t Dying, Why Is He Being Treated Like a Make-A-Wish Kid? | Spike Lee

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You're listening to Comedy Central.

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central.

It's America's only source for news.

This is the the Daily Show with your host, John Stewart.

Welcome to the Dalley Show.

My name is Jon Stewart.

Man,

I gotta tell you, it feels so nice to be back at work after like four to five weeks of doing whatever I wanted to do

whenever I wanted to do it.

I was a little worried.

You know, we took the back end of the summer off there and I don't know if you noticed that we have new owners here at the network.

Didn't know

if they would let us back in the building.

But good news, we have not heard from them.

But one of the windows was left unlocked, so here we are.

We do have a tremendous program for you this evening Spike Lee

Will be right here

Spike Lee will be here this evening.

He will be discussing his new film while I hector him about the New York Knickerbockers.

So we'll see how it goes

now now normally as many of you may know who've been on this planet for a few rotations, August is considered a relatively quiet month for political doings.

But as we have been told many, many times,

this ain't normal.

Come and try and catch up since we've been gone.

The economy hit a brick wall, stalling on jobs, while inflation continued to rise.

So Trump met with Putin in Alaska to force Ukraine to accept Crackle Barrel's new logo

while Laboo Boo released a new Epstein file and Taylor got engaged.

It's a blur.

It's all a blur.

But all of it takes a back seat to continuing concerns over the president's health.

We haven't really seen much of the president over the last week.

Basically absent from the public eye.

He's clearly hiding something about his health.

The hashtag TrumpIzDead trends it on social media.

What the f ⁇ , you people?

You reporters have no chill.

Guy can't take a few days for some RR and a non-surgical breast reduction without everybody

suddenly pulling out the toe tags on the president.

It does say something about the ubiquity of Donald Trump in our lives that we don't hear from him for 20 minutes and we're like, he's dead.

I think he's...

Check.

Can we track him?

It's, how do you know he's dead?

Well, it's been seven minutes since the word news scum has come up on my feed.

He must be dead.

But of course Trump didn't die in office, but I wouldn't put it past him.

Trying once again to take credit for something Biden had already accomplished.

With that being said, Trump is alive.

Although I definitively would not go so far as to say alive and kicking.

Something is up with his health.

New today, the White House revealing President Trump has been diagnosed with a condition called chronic venous insufficiency.

Chronic venous insufficiency, a relatively common condition, something that gets more common as you get older.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I wander into the wrong classroom at boring university?

Can someone please explain his physical condition to me in a way I'd be interested in the style of perhaps a world-weary Brit?

His ankles, swollen and straining over his Oxfords, aren't just unsightly cankles.

They're flashing neon signs of a body under pressure.

Put that Attenborough right into my veins.

The aging president struggles to keep up with the herd.

And as night falls, it's clear

the lions will eat well tonight.

On a menu.

On a menu.

Wait, I want to tell you the menu.

On a menu.

Of Cankles Epoiv.

It might not have been worth the walk, but

I felt I owed it to you.

By the way, it's not just the Cankles he's got going.

The whole meatbag seems to be having some kind of drainage issue.

These images of the president have drawn attention in recent days showing apparent bruising on his hands that was covered with makeup.

Jesus, Grandpa!

Put him away.

Holy shit.

And what's with the makeup?

It's not like you can treat leprosy at Sephora.

God.

By the way,

may I remind you, these are just the parts poking out that we can see.

I bet everything on that body not covered by clothes is all f ⁇ ed up right now.

For all we know, the guy's gone full grimace.

Blotchy hands, puffy ankles.

Although, to be fair to Trump, people got a little nitpicky.

We can see that there is sort of like a lumpy situation going on on Trump's forehead.

One of his eyes is half closed.

All right, now you're just being mean.

Oh, he's got swollen ankles, got a little bit on the thing, but look at his f ⁇ ing eyes.

They're lumpy.

See, this is the problem with our superficial Instagram culture.

We have unrealistic expectations in this country about the amount of fluid our bodies should be able

to clear subcutaneously.

It sends the wrong message to young people.

These really are not medical appraisals.

It's just more like insults like, hey, according to the Mayo Clinic,

why are his eyes so lumpy?

Insiders have been calling the president Skippy because under his skin looks a little extra chunky.

Hey, the president's neck looks so much like Betty White's vagina that Milton Burrell...

Too soon?

Yeah.

I was going to do the...

The reason we did so that the tag to that was going to be that Milton Burrell tried to it, but

you clearly rejected the premise.

Why should I.

came with the

Now normally we might be able to dismiss these symptoms, but Trump himself seems very focused these days on securing a prime piece of afterlife real estate.

I want to try and get to heaven.

Sure as you do.

But you know what?

Hey, look, the first step is always admitting you have a problem.

Maybe you can turn this thing around.

If there's a will, there's a way for you to get yourself back up that golden escalator to the heavens.

Just moments ago, Democrats on the panel posted this image with a caption that reads,

Here it is, we got Trump's birthday note to Jeffrey Epstein that the president said doesn't exist.

Going down.

Oh well.

It's okay.

It's okay.

But it's not just the physical symptoms that make you think the president is transitioning from this mortal coil.

It's that whenever any of his biggest supporters are with him,

it sounds like they're saying goodbye.

Mr.

President,

Working for this government, for you, is the greatest honor of my life.

When history looks back on you, how would you like to be remembered?

I'll never forget standing in the East Room with you, surrounded by the coal miners from around this country, where you said, hey, big, beautiful coal.

Remember, Mr.

President?

And I said, no, these are humans.

The coal is what they dig for.

And then...

Anyway, we'll miss you.

And have you ever been to one of those funerals where there's a video of the recently departed?

Well, six days ago, the White House released one of them.

Let me share some of the biggest lessons I've learned from a lifetime spent building dreams.

First, if you think that you're too young to do something great, let me tell you that you are wrong.

You're not too young.

There's no such thing as too young.

I'm having trouble getting a read on these people.

If you're watching this video, I'm already dead.

But by the way, once you begin to notice this pattern, you begin to see really the whole vibe around this president is very make-a-wish kid.

Everyone who shows up to his office tries to make one of his dreams come true.

We thought it was only appropriate to present you with

our honorary United States Marshal Service badge.

Look how happy they made him.

She wiz, Mr.

Ariel Marshall.

This is even better than when they let me drive a garbage.

Now you might be saying to yourself, and the make-a-wish thing is a little much.

A grown man would recognize when people are condescending to him, treating him like a child, tiptoeing around his fragile ego with the idea that this person is so easily manipulated that even the cheapest of gestures could be persuasive.

You wouldn't think that

it is the trophy that the winner of the FIFA World Cup wins.

Only the FIFA president and then those who win can touch it

because it's for winners only.

And since you are a winner, of course, you can as well touch it.

Also,

I have in the bag Thor's hammer.

But only the bravest boy can pick it up.

Only the bravest boy can.

My God, you did it.

You picked it up.

You're Thor.

I'm telling you, though, man, this goes way past trophy funneling and serial box deputy badges.

The people around Trump know that he is a never-ending insatiable black hole of wishes.

It's well past time that President Trump was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

When Operation Warp Speed was started, it was a massive success for our country.

And I do agree that President Trump should get the Nobel Prize for that.

I'm thinking that since he's basically taught the world trade economics, he might be up for the Nobel on economics.

Oh, Donald Trump, the first recipient of the Nobel Prize variety pack.

Economics, chemistry.

Oh, here's one for monogamy.

It's really entirely made up.

Sure, why not just fire up the 3D printer and print all the Nobels for Donnie?

Or perhaps they sell them at Spencer Gifts, which still exists.

It's a real.

You may have killed our bookstores, Bezos, but in America, we still shop in person for our lava lamps and our dildos that suction cup to the wall.

By the way,

word to the wise,

the seal is unreliable.

Everything about the treatment of this president screams make a wish kid.

Ooh, you'll meet your favorite celebrities and they'll dress up for you.

Oh,

I know while you're president, you won't be able to sleep at your home and it probably feels a little scary and a little uncomfortable so.

Makeover!

Oh, and did you get an AoI?

No, no, it doesn't look weird at all.

In fact, we're all wearing them.

It looks...

It looks so cool.

But if you think there are some government institutions that are above this kind of insulting obsequiousness, you would be wrong.

Today, the Supreme Court bent over backwards to grant Trump even his most unconstitutional wishes, like maybe you can arrest people for looking Mexican.

Breaking at this hour, the Supreme Court again has backed President Trump's approach towards immigration.

It is now ruled that they are allowing federal agents to proceed with raids in Southern California if they target people for deportation based on their race or language.

Hey, the good news, the Supreme Court supports affirmative action based on race.

The bad news is that action is ICE deporting you.

What the f ⁇ ?

What kind of a make-a-wish kid wants to nullify the Fourth Amendment?

I'm beginning to think Trump isn't a benign, suffering child at all.

I'm beginning to think everybody treats Trump like this, not because he's the make-a-wish kid, but because he's that Twilight Zone kid.

That anytime somebody made him mad, he sent them out to the cornfield.

You're a bad man.

You're a very bad man.

And you keep thinking bad thoughts about me.

Think I'm wrong?

Let's play a game.

I'll play you two clips.

And I'll bet you won't be able to tell the difference between scared townspeople trying not to be sent to the cornfield and Trump's sycophants.

It's good what you've done to Dan.

You've been doing an amazing job.

It was swell.

It was just swell.

Great job, sir.

Okay, the production values give it away.

But you gotta admit, it's weird.

And it never ends.

Good that you've done that.

Oh, it's real good.

People were applauding you.

You're a good boy, Anthony.

You're not just courageous, you're actually fearless.

Everybody loves you, Anthony.

They love you, son.

The most consequential president of the modern era, if not all American history.

Only American history?

To the cornfields!

But this is where we're at, America.

This is where we're at.

For your consideration.

A nation held hostage by the fragile ego of a man-baby president

who may or may not be dying of hand syphilis.

But is puffy.

He's very, he's certainly,

I don't know if he's dying.

He's weirdly puffy.

And who we're trapped with for at least three more years

in the Twilight Zone.

When we come back, Spike Lee, you'll be joining us.

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Welcome back to the show, my guest, tonight.

Legendary Oscar-winning filmmaker.

His latest is called Highest to Lowest.

Please welcome Spike Lee.

That scene,

ASAP Rock,

he's a young musician.

He's going toe to toe with Denzel Washington.

Well, that that was that scene was not scripted.

He came in with Nas?

No, that was Denzel that came with Nash.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

And then

Ace Rocky.

He was right there.

He's just writing it.

Right there.

Wow.

Ace of Denzel.

I didn't know Denzel, but it made the scene better.

That's the genius of Denzel Washington.

Yeah.

It was amazing.

But you don't.

The young man.

The young man

was not intimidated

to do that.

And that's a

big thumbs up to Ace of Rock because, you know, Denzel's one of the greats.

I'm nervous.

Even when I'm not acting, just saying hello to him.

And I always feel like.

But he stood right there and they were going toe to toe.

So

the genius of Denzel lifted that whole scene, which lifted the movie because this is at the end of the film, too.

Like it's a high noon showdown.

Oh, it's yeah.

I mean, the scene in the movie, when you see it, like, it really is the climax between the glass, and they're just two alphas just going at it.

The young buck and

the old gun.

It's, yeah, it's, it's an amazing scene.

It's a western right there.

And the music that he is singing when Denzel first comes in, is that?

Is he just doing that too?

He's singing,

he's recording something.

Oh, yeah,

that's the song that he had two songs in the film.

He was unbelievable.

Who's he married to, though?

Rihanna.

Rihanna?

Yeah.

Give it up.

Come on, but you think I don't watch the TikToks?

I watch the TikToks?

Do you have to call him ASAP?

I call him that.

You call him ASAP?

That's what he answered to?

Okay.

And Denzel, just Denzel.

How many films have you made with Denzel?

This is the fifth one yeah

mobeta blues no yeah mobeta blues malcolm x he got a game inside man and now but denzel not did not know that inside man was 19 years ago he didn't realize that

inside man was 19 years ago that's cool we didn't know it till the journalist told us that why we were doing press

and you guys had

You know what's amazing also about your body work is there's so many things layered into this movie that are nods to all these other

a whole lot of stuff and it makes it so enjoyable for all-state mayhem you know all-state he's throwing an all-state mayhem he's got Jalen Brunson's signed jersey uh up on the wall he's got nick torturo in a subway car chanting about the yankees

no he's his boston socks Oh, he did Boston Sucks as well, but he's got like New York Yankees carved into his.

There's Eddie Palmero

doing the King of Salsa.

He died, he passed away three days before

the premiere here in Brooklyn.

Oh,

I mean, that's a beautiful scene, too.

And it's so, your love of New York in all of its.

It comes through, doesn't it?

In all of its chaos.

And that's,

I love that part of it.

But also, the moral themes, you know, I know, like, school days, what it ends with, like,

wake up!

You know what I mean?

And then...

You know what?

You know what Do-Right Thing began with?

Sam Jackson.

Samuel Jackson.

Samuel Jackson doing.

Wake up!

Wake up!

Yes!

The first.

Why am I saying it back to you?

You know.

I was checking to see if you knew.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wake up, wake up, and this movie feels like

that

come to life.

Well,

it was a novel written by Ed McBain.

It's called King's Ransom.

And then the great Akira Kurosawa did it high and low.

1963,

post-war Japan.

Right.

And

out of the blue, Denzel called me.

I didn't even know what the number was.

He said, Spike, I got this script.

I'm not going to tell you anything.

I'm going to send it to you.

Before you hung up the phone, I knew I was doing it.

But I didn't even know what it was, but I said I'm doing it.

Let me ask you a question.

You just answer the the phone when you don't know the number?

Like

I could just call you up and you'd be like, hello?

I just felt that this phone call was going to be a good one.

You felt it.

I was, you felt it.

Deep, deep, deep down inside of me.

Me and Denzel got that.

You do have that.

Does that, so

in that world, you got an actor who has that kind of charisma and status and wait,

does he ever say to you, I think we're done here?

Like with a scene?

How do you guys do that dance?

Well, he might say, Spike.

How much more we got?

But, you know, he knows when we got it.

He feels it.

Yeah, I said, okay, can we just Spike go on?

I said, look,

next setup, next setup.

And the music is so important to this film.

There's so much.

That's from all my films.

I'm the son of a great, great musician, Bill Lee.

Yes.

He did my scores for She's Could Have It School Days, Do the Right Thing.

No Better Blues.

Played with.

He played in Simon Garfunkel's album, Gordon Lightfoot's album, or Bob Dylan is all over now.

Baby Blue, that's him on bass.

That's insane.

And then...

And that history.

But here goes the thing, though.

Here goes the thing though.

When Bob Dylan, when guitar,

I mean went electric,

my mother had to work

He was not

going with him.

He wasn't plugging

Really?

She had to take a job She the teacher taught at St.

Anne's in Brooklyn how Brooklyn Heights.

My father was not

He was not gonna play

electric

and I'm the oldest of five, so

there's five of us

Anybody saw Crooklyn?

That was autobiographical.

How How many times did you, when you were like 11 years old, go, just plug in?

You know what?

Seeing how hard my mom, she was working, coming home,

cooking, cleaning, five crazy kids, five casey Brooklyn kids.

So

he stayed acoustic, but he wouldn't do chores.

He would cook.

He would cook once a week.

But here's the thing, though.

As I got older, I saw, you know, before I was like, I had

a certain feeling.

But as I got older, I understood, you know, he had scruples and morals, and he was not going to play electric bass.

Isn't it interesting to think about where you come from?

You have this, for those of you who don't know, Spegli, your work ethic is second to none.

When he's not writing

documentaries, I'm telling you,

you just do it.

Like, that's,

and, but, but you also lace everything that you do with

a moral, there's a moral center to everything.

And it feels like, is that both your parents talking through you?

Yes, and also, that's why I love this film.

Yeah.

Because

from the novel, La Cursa before us, but Denzel's character is in a dilemma.

Yeah.

A dilemma.

And he's so great

that the audience

is in his shoes.

Like,

if you have, I'm going to give it away.

Everybody dies.

There's a kidnapping, and he thinks that it's his son.

Yeah.

But it was the wrong kid.

So he's putting to the limit.

Am I going to

pay a ransom of $17.5 million to switch francs for a kid that's not mine?

And also, Jeffrey White.

And it's just, just it's not just a random kid.

It's really a very loyal employee.

And Harlem, they grew up together.

That guy's had a rougher life.

He went upstate for a little while and now he's back.

That's right.

But

I'm telling you, if you see the film, hope you do this on Apple, you're going to be in it, and you'll be asking yourself,

who

would, let's do a survey guy.

Raise your hand

if you had it, if you had it like that 17.5 million

for a kid that's not yours.

Who's making that?

You're lying.

You're lying.

It's not your kid.

Dude, these are upstanding people.

These are good people.

I like how a lot of people are just like, yeah, f ⁇ that.

Nah.

I only have one real, there's only one, you know, in watching it, and by the way, the walls of the movie, if you want to live Spike Lee's language, the walls of the movie are just etched with beautiful paintings and artwork and memorabilia that is so much you.

It really is beautiful.

Good, thank you.

But

I was waiting for that.

If I may.

The kids in the film play basketball.

They show up to practice.

Right.

New York City,

Brooklyn, LIU.

LIU,

the coach of the team with all the great players that have come through those boroughs

is a Los Angeles Laker

named Rick Fox.

How could you, sir?

Rick Fox and he got game.

Okay, I'll give you that.

He's a friend.

You couldn't get Allen, Houston, John Starks, Lattrell, Spreewell, Bernard.

Can I tell you something real quick?

Yes.

I grew up in Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

There's a hospital called Cumon Hospital.

Bernard King was born there.

Albert King, Mike Tyson, and Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan?

Yes.

Really?

Yes.

Come on Hospital, Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

Huh?

Yeah.

You know.

Brooklyn House.

So, so

my

grandparents, my father grew up in Brooklyn, Coney Island.

He was Abraham Lincoln?

No, he went to.

It's a high school, Abraham Lincoln.

Yeah, yeah.

No, no, no.

Jewish, so he went to Stuyvesant.

Oh, so he was smart.

For those of you, you have to take a test in the Stuyvesant.

You got to get a test.

Bronx Science.

Yeah, yeah.

But back then, this is 1930s, 1940s.

You know, my grandfather drove a cab.

They moved to, because back then, before Uber and Lyft and all that, your medallion was your retirement.

Right.

So he had...

It was hard to get to back then, right?

Hard to get.

So he worked his ass off, got a medallion, and then was able to move everybody out of Coney Island over to Benson Hurst, 8th Street Avenue.

Oh.

And so they lived above this little candy store.

It was like Pizzeria?

The Benson Hurst.

Yeah, no, the Benson Hurst back then was not the Benson Hurst of Do the Right Thing.

It was slightly different.

Jungle Fever's best hurt.

Not do the right thing.

Do the right thing is Ben's style.

Bet style, Bets stop.

You got to really start watching your film.

I love your stuff so much, man.

I love you so much.

I want you to know, me and him are tight.

We're tight.

We go back.

We go back.

We go back.

Are we going to have ourselves a year?

The Niggas are going to win the big championship this year.

I hope.

If they do, I'm telling you, man, that we're going to be in an embarrassing picture.

Me and you hugging, tears running down our faces, and both of our children that we bring to the games just looking at us like, this is just sad.

Nah.

You're going crazy.

I just have a feeling.

You're the man.

Thank you.

Highest to lowest.

Thank you.

Spike.

You're the man.

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Hey, let's go joke for tonight.

But before we go, let's check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr.

Michael Costa.

Michael.

What do you got on deck this week, Michael?

Well, finally, we got some great news, John.

Florida is preparing to overturn all of their vaccine mandates.

COVID, polio, TB, all gone.

The state will be doing what scientists call raw dogging the immune system.

Why are you so positive about that?

That sounds like terrible news.

Well, it's terrible for everyone who lives in Florida, that's true, but as a dad looking for a reason not to take the kids to Disney World, it's great.

Telling them, no, sweetie, we can't afford it.

Well, that can be traumatizing, but now I can let them down easy and just tell them that Donald Duck got measles and died.

Michael Costa, everybody.

Here it is, your moment of death.

70,000 monks just broke their vows of silence to nominate Trump for the Nobel.

Today, 70,000 Cambodian Buddhist monks are wholeheartedly supportive to nominate you for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Please accept Mr.

President.

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