"No Kings" Protests Defy GOP Expectations & Jon Gives Trump a Royal Inspection | Sen. Bernie Sanders

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You're listening to Comedy Central.

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news.

This is the Daily Show with your host, John Stewart.

Welcome to the Daily Show, ladies and gentlemen.

We got a great show for you tonight.

I didn't even want to tell you this: Senator Bernard Sanders, Independent Vermont.

It's funny.

I've never seen this before.

You announce a guest and a mosh pit forms.

Started going on there.

You're hearing that, man.

If you're watching tonight's program with a billionaire, you might want to get him some headphones because it's about to get all populist up in this bitch.

That's for sure.

But first,

it's exciting news.

Believe me, I'm excited as well.

We're going to start, though, with the major news from this weekend.

New York's annual Halloween dog parade was this weekend.

That is not the picture we used in rehearsal.

It's a great reminder: each year the dogs, like humans, are capable of experiencing humiliation.

Perhaps you missed this year's annual dog parade because you remained inside all weekend because you knew that the No Kings protests would be taking place

and you heard what that might be like.

We call it the Hate America rally.

I bet you see pro-Hamas supporters.

I bet you you see Antifa types.

I bet you see the Marxist in full display.

This crazy No Kings rally this weekend, which is going to be the farthest left, the hardest core,

the most unhinged in the Democratic Party.

Not the hardest core.

I expected partial Marxism and hardcore, but not full display, hardest core Hamarxism.

It's going to be like Mad Max out there with Chuck Schumer on flaming guitar.

That's a real photograph.

And so this weekend we sat in our bunkers, doors locked, windows boarded, muskets and cyanide pills at the ready, prepared for whatever the hardest core had in store.

Do your worst.

Display your

Marxism to its fullest.

An estimated 7 million people gathered across some 2,700 no-kings rallies in cities from coast to coast in what has been described as one of the largest single-day demonstrations in U.S.

history.

Not only were they largely peaceful, they were often joyful.

No!

Not public domain folk classics!

You monsters!

Actually, there was kind of an incredible turnout that was somewhat inspiring.

Seven million Americans, zero mass shootings.

Zero!

That's just sad.

No mass shootings.

My God.

I mean, has that even happened before?

Even the dog parade had some nipping.

It wasn't a hate America rally at all.

I look forward to Republicans apologizing sincerely for implying that these Americans were,

what's the word I'm looking for?

Deplorable.

This to me is a colossal waste of time.

And for these people, you wasted your Saturday.

It's like a Comic-Con.

They have costumes and hashtags.

They're silly protesting, and they don't know how dumb they look.

Absurdist costumes.

They look silly.

They certainly don't look serious.

I knew Antifa.

I worked with Antifa.

You people are not Antifa.

Make up your mind, Fox.

You complained it would be a terrifyingly shit your pants protest, and now you are complaining about how boringly un-pants-shitting it was.

Although there was one knit you picked that really felt off-brand.

A crowd made largely up of what many are saying are gray hairs, boomers.

A bunch of boomers.

A lot of older, angry boomers.

Older, angry, white boomers.

It's a sea of white people.

It's all old white people.

Extra, extra.

Extra, extra.

Read all about it.

This country has too many angry old white people.

Says,

hold on.

Fox News.

Fox News says,

why are old white people so angry?

Fox News, mad that there are so many old white people in America.

I don't think Fox News is mad.

I think they're jealous.

To be fair, to be fair to Fox News, they are kind of right to be dismissive.

I mean, imagine a bunch of old white people in costumes angrily protesting the direction and overreach of an ever-encroaching federal government.

I mean, preposterous.

That's in no way a movement that could sweep the midterms and then be harnessed by a charismatic demagogue to remake an entire political party.

I mean, it's laughable.

Republicans should be careful.

There is a tremendous amount of political potential energy coursing through these massive and as of yet unfocused gatherings, which is also not to insinuate that any random zoom-in close-up of said gathering would show itself to be less American Patriot Tea Party and more Mad Hatter Tea Party.

I don't know what that is.

I don't know what they want.

I'm assuming cheaper compressed air.

Now, obviously, that's not to say there weren't some hardened terrorist sympathizers practicing coordinated action.

I did not know Hamas had a jazzercy program.

We must wage jihad against pre-diabetes

and apparently rhythm.

And while those performances were more joyful than provocative, I think we can all agree about the effectiveness of this installation.

ICE agents as lice agents being beaten by Uncle Sam while Prison Trump meanders around the Constitution.

Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot stress this enough.

This is why you do not cut funding for the arts.

You don't want to do this shit on the cheap.

Clearly, it was a great day for democracy, and apparently, an even better day for people across this country who always got cast as ensemble.

in their high school's musical.

At the end of the day, it wasn't the spectacle that upset Republican leaders.

What really hurt their feelings was the insinuation behind the rallies.

They're calling him a king.

It's completely ridiculous.

And I guarantee you that kings don't let you romp up and down the street in costume mocking him.

If President Trump was a king, he would have closed the national parks and the national mall, so they couldn't have had the rally out here.

Yeah, that's not as reassuring as you think it is.

Oh, believe me, if this guy was king, there'd be no dissent.

I mean, he wanted to shut the park.

He Googled it.

He showed us a picture of the park with Big X.

He said, what if we had them come and then just red-wetting the shit out of them?

And we told him, Mr.

President, we're not there.

And the truth is, it's a bit of hyperbole from the opposition to think that this president is some sort of thin-skinned man-baby king sitting in his gilded throne room, demanding vengeance on his enemies while plotting Baroque and lavish monuments to his own ego, whilst sycophant plead for his benevolence through exotic tokens of fealty.

Thumbs off with a corning line.

It's engraved for President Trump.

It's a unique unit of one.

It's from the corning line,

The most spectacular line in all engravies.

My lord!

It has a hole in the middle for your c!

You can place the corning line around your c.

It'll look like a bishop wearing an Elizabethan collar.

And see.

So this one's clear.

This one's clear.

This is a unique gift to the president, handmade and blown on the order of the CEO, and it still had to come in all that

Apple packaging.

Enjoy the gift if you can find it all under all the secret compartments.

Oh, and the gift needs a charger, and the package doesn't include an adapter.

Oh, yeah!

All right.

So clearly, Trump has the lavish sensibilities of a king, the entitled mind of a king.

But if he was really a king, where's the broken-down, inbred body of a king, saddled with the exotic infirmaries of royalty?

Like this guy, King Charles II of Spain.

Look, look at the picture.

That's his official portrait.

That's the one he picked

oh I like the shading and a little filter it makes it seem like my head is not an actual eggplant

say what you want about Trump he doesn't have any of that stuff.

There have been many questions about the president's health after photographs surfaced of his swollen ankles and bruised hands.

Okay, those are weird.

But a real king would have his minions dismiss said infirmaries.

Recent photos of the president have shown minor bruising on the back of his hand.

This is consistent with minor soft tissue irritation from frequent handshaking and the use of aspirin.

I've been in the business a long time.

I'm not the president, but I've shaken a lot of hands.

And I'm pretty sure it doesn't cause a gangrene.

You know what?

Admittedly, it's starting to feel like there might be something to this whole king thing.

Let's go to the source, the original no-King's protest, the revolution.

Let's see what's in the Declaration of Independence.

I just want to see very quickly if we have, hold on a second.

There's listed 27 specific grievances against the king.

Time for a surprise inspection.

Let me just see very...

Oh, what's that?

There's no difference in color.

The actual color of my hair

is store-bought colonial wig.

All right, let's see what the declaration says.

Give me a beat.

beat!

Come on.

The Declaration says, ah, he has kept among us in times of peace standing armies without the consent of our legislatures.

Done.

Cutting off our trade with all parts of the world.

That does sound familiar.

He has obstructed the administration of justice.

It's getting hot in here.

And here's one more.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us.

I mean, come on.

I'm calling it.

Look, maybe Trump isn't an all-powerful king, the kind who can do whatever he wants, but he's undeniably king-adjacent, king-esque, moving for more.

He's the imitation crab of kings right now.

I can't believe it's not king.

And the ironic part about Republicans complaining that he is being dubbed a king is that in their minds, he has already surpassed that title anyway and moved on to a much higher calling.

He's a miracle worker.

Trump just performed an actual miracle before our eyes.

He was saved to do things like he did today.

He's got just a special anointing.

Prophecy, destiny, and divine purpose.

President Trump is God's chosen instrument for this moment in time.

I've seen the hand of God on him for a very long time.

You know, we're saving Christianity.

We're saving God.

To Republicans, King is a demotion.

He's not a king.

He's a deity.

Sent by God to bring peace to all of mankind.

A Jesus-like figure.

I mean, I get it.

There is a lot of crossover.

That's why tonight I thought we'd end our program with some fun and play the hottest new game show on basic cable.

Jesus

or Trump.

Beam bomb.

All right, here we go.

Here's how we're going to play.

I'll read a quote

and you try and figure out

if it was said by Donald J.

Trump or Jesus H.

Christ.

Get out your scorecards!

First quote.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

I'm starting off with a tough one, purposefully.

Give everybody a second to lock in their answers.

Jesus Christ, that's Jesus.

Got about 60% in the audience, guys.

Number two, be on your guard against all kinds of greed.

Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.

That's another tricky one.

I want you to take...

Jesus again.

That was 2.0 on that.

Let me try another one.

I did try and f ⁇ her.

Please wait till after I finish the quote before you're off in there.

Please.

I did try and f her.

She was married.

And I moved on her very heavily.

In fact, I took her out furniture shopping.

She wanted to get some furniture.

I said, I'll show you where they have some nice furniture.

Ma'am.

Please respect the other contestants.

I moved on her like a bitch.

But I couldn't, don't boo, it could be Jesus.

And you are risking

eternal life.

But I couldn't get there, and she was married.

Then all of a sudden, I see her.

She's now got the big phony tits and everything.

She's totally changed her look.

End quote.

Lock in.

That one was Trump.

That was Trump.

Bing Bong.

You got that.

Listen,

you guys are very good at this game.

So if you ask, is Trump a king?

Nay, nay.

He is the king of kings.

And that, my friends, is a reason to rejoice.

Nothing like that.

When we come back, Senator Bernie Sanders will be joining us.

Don't go wrong.

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Hold on, the damage up against tonight.

He is an independent senator from Vermont.

His latest book is called Fight Oligarchy.

Please welcome to the program, Senator Bernie Sanders.

Sir.

Been here 20 years, never as much as a John, John.

Only you, brother.

First of all, thank you for being here.

How were

these no-king rallies?

You went, you addressed one.

Where did you speak?

What was it?

I was in D.C.

There were some 200,000 people out in D.C.

There were some 7 million people out in 2,600 events all over the country, not only in big cities, but in small towns.

Bottom line, extraordinary.

People came out, they said no to Trumpism, no to authoritarianism, no to oligarchy.

And it grew from the previous expression of those.

And obviously you can go back and you say, well, it's, you know, maybe the left is building a similar thing

to the Tea Party with all this

potential energy that's moving in that direction.

How do you harness that for

purpose, for being directional.

There are not a lot of people out there other than yourself, other than Representative Cortez, who are very clearly delineated about a point of view that people can rally behind.

Well, let me just say two things.

We are in an extraordinarily dangerous time, as you know.

You got an authoritarian president who wants more and more power, doesn't respect the Constitution, doesn't respect the law.

Well, the Supreme Court that's granting it to him.

Right, that's true.

I mean, that's part of the process.

You got a Republican Party that's now lockstep.

It's kind of a cult of the individual.

We've got to stop them.

But there's something else that we've got to do, John.

We have to have a vision for the future of this country.

And

I think that many of my colleagues in the Democratic Party have not had that vision.

And what that means is that we should not accept the fact that we have so much income and wealth inequality, that you got one guy, Mr.

Musk, owning more wealth than the bottom 52% of the American people.

That we have a corrupt campaign finance system that allows billionaires in both parties to determine who wins and who loses elections.

And the vision has got to be, and I want people to think about this, in this extraordinarily great country, wealthy country, why don't we guarantee health care to every man, woman, and child that's being in their right?

So

this is what the government needs to learn.

So

in this moment, all this potential energy, there is clearly a thirst in this country for leadership and smart politics.

You know, I know Kamala's book was 107 days, this shortened time that she had to run the campaign.

But the Democrats have had now

a much longer timeframe

and yet, to my mind, have not articulated

a simple, clear vision addressing those very things

at all.

In fact,

I would go further.

There seems to be a whole thing where they say, let's not address that vision.

What we need to do is not bother anybody and be just totally.

You're not far from wrong.

And

it's a conscious decision.

I mean, look.

It's my GPS.

I'm near right.

Look.

And a lot of that gets back to money.

Basically, if you're a political party, you've got to make a decision.

Do you go where the money is, where the billionaires are, where the super PACs are, and kind of do what these guys want?

Or do you go where the working class and the middle class of this country are, and those are people who are hurting, who want real change.

And I'll give Donald Trump, he may be crazy, he may be a pathological liar, but he's not stupid.

I'm going to say something.

That's a rather passive-aggressive comment, I think.

It's classic.

But what I mean by that is the message that he gives off in one way or another is the system is broken, right?

Yes.

And I alone can fix the system.

Well, the truth is the system is broken.

He is making it worse.

But the Democrats have got to acknowledge that the system is broken.

I'll go you one better.

You know, if you think about, because your message has always been consistent, and you've spoken this way since you first came on the scene for a very long time, and you've always been clear about it.

You could almost make a case that the true inheritor of the Sanders revolution is Trump.

He's the most socialist president of my lifetime.

Taking a percentage of companies to do business, that's a Bernie Sanders idea.

Doing a Trump RX where the government is involved in selling pharmaceuticals, that's a Bernie Sanders idea.

It's not only his,

some of his policies, some of his other policies, let's not forget, is throwing 15 million people off the health care they have and doubling health care premiums.

He's not perfect.

And giving a trillion...

He didn't say he was perfect.

And you a trillion dollars if tax breaks are the one for you.

Is it frustrating that the thing that you fought for your whole career, Democrats are the ones who run away from scared?

And he's embraced some of it.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

All right.

So what do we got to do?

I mean, first of all, you got to acknowledge bloody reality.

Healthcare system is broken.

Boom.

All right.

We need to do what every other major country does, guarantee healthcare to every man, woman, and child.

Take on the greed of the pharmaceutical industry and the insurance companies.

Okay?

We're spending more than enough money to guarantee good quality health care to every person.

All right.

All right.

What else do you got to do?

We need the Democratic Party to be very clear.

The campaign system, current campaign finance system, is broken.

You got to get rid of Citizens United.

You got to move to public funding of elections.

Give everybody a chance to participate in our democracy.

Right.

All right.

If you were triaging...

So let's say you're triaging that idea because Citizens United, look, those decisions about corporations being people and money being speech, make things very difficult.

But they do seem like generational plays to try and reverse things like that.

This healthcare thing seems more immediate.

Is that if you're triaging the patient of America,

what's the first thing you want to address?

I happen, you know, I've always been deeply concerned about healthcare as a human right.

Right.

And this is something that is so doable.

We are the odd guy out as a country.

I live 50 miles away from Canada.

You spend a month in a hospital in County.

You know what the bill is when you come out?

Zero.

They spend half as much per capita as we do on health care.

They guarantee health care to all of their people.

This can be done, absolutely doable.

The other thing we could do, young people today finding it extremely hard to buy their own home.

Cost of housing is off the charts.

Why aren't we building four or five million units of low-income and affordable housing?

Well, to be fair,

we are building one or two four or five million dollar homes.

So I think that

on average...

Well, that's the point.

That's a fair point.

But let me ask you this question then, because this is where I get in my head about those prescriptions seem a charismatic leader making a forceful case for that would very much appeal to the American people.

But what Democrats find themselves in a place is we've shut down the government to protect subsidies for an insurance marketplace that funnels $800 billion a year into the pockets of all these insurance companies.

Have Democrats box themselves into a corner fighting for a system that ultimately to get the thing that you want, that I think the American people want, they're going to have to abandon.

Yes.

Look, here's where we are right now, and I think it's not not been made as clear as it should.

If Trump gets away with what he wants, we are looking at 15 million people losing their health insurance, and according to studies, John, 50,000 low-income and working-class people dying every year unnecessary.

Based on lack of accessibility to health.

Right.

Is that what you're saying?

If you're low-income, you're working hard, you don't have any health, you have a chronic ill, you die.

That's what they're saying.

On top of that, all over the country.

You want to make clear.

You do die anyway.

You die anyway.

But you don't have to die.

You don't have to die

just because you can't get to a doctor.

That is disgusting.

Right.

All right.

And then on top of that, because of the cuts to the ACA, you're looking at some 20-plus million people seeing a doubling of their premiums at a time when they can't even afford health care right now.

Right.

All right.

So your point is, is this a good system?

No.

This is a good system to defend today.

To defend today's legal capital.

But obviously, obviously.

It is a system designed to make huge profits to the insurance companies and the drug companies.

Right.

Period.

We have got to move to a Medicare for all single-payer program.

Absolutely.

Is that something in your caucus that

when that's raised, what are the objections that come back to you?

Now, I'm assuming that within even your caucus with the Democratic Party, that you're considered an outlier in those kinds of things.

Maybe more people are coming along there.

What is their reluctance?

Well, the irony is, in the caucus I am, outside of the caucus, in the real world, I am not.

Right,

that's the point.

Yeah.

All right.

I think there is, oh, Bernie, it's too radical.

Oh, Bernie, you know,

money from insurance companies, drug companies, you know, all that stuff.

We've got all kinds of opposites.

Will people ever say to you, like, Bernie, I'd love to do that, but you don't understand, Aetna's throwing me a party.

You can't, you know, I can't.

Well, these are nonverbal communications.

A little nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, these guys,

last count, there were 1,500 lobbyists from the pharmaceutical industry in Washington, D.C.

Okay?

And that's why you are paying by far the highest prices in the world for prescription drugs.

All right.

But then you got other things.

70 years ago, I don't know how many people know this.

Most or many public colleges and universities were tuition-free in America.

Sure.

My parents went to city college.

There you go.

Great university.

It was free.

California, highest quality education, tuition-free.

And now working-class families can't afford to send their kids to college.

But again, this gets to the democratic solutions have never been to directly provide.

It's always been a subsidy to a realm.

But what happens is when the government promises endless funds to insurance companies or private universities without any cost controls, and Trump seems to understand this, prices rise far beyond the rate of inflation.

And we've seen it in tuition, and we've seen it in pharmaceutical, and we've seen it in healthcare.

So my question is,

will Democrats recognize

the poison pill?

that they've often placed into well-intentioned policies.

Right, right.

What they end up doing is coming up with very complicated proposals.

You make $48,964,

you will get this thing.

You make a dollar more, you're finished, and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Look, we have got to make it simple.

In the wealthiest country in the history of the world, should health care be a human right?

Yes, it should be.

Should we have the best quality education in the world from childcare to graduate school?

Yes, we should.

Right, but these are these are how do you pass?

Let's get there.

All right, then the question is, all right, these are

the Republicans, you're getting violent here, you know.

You're right.

All right.

You know, and what

we need is a very simple, straightforward agenda, which says, by the way, and

this is really a sticky point, you've got to finally say to the oligarchs, who have never ever had it so good, they're making money hand over fist.

All right?

And you got to say to them, sorry guys, a billion dollars is enough.

You ain't going to have 200 billion or 300 billion.

Try to survive on a beautiful.

You're going to start paying your fair share of taxes.

And this is right.

So when you see Donald Trump go to, and only in this one area, but go to them and say, you're giving me 10% of your company if we're going to help you out.

Or we're going to do that.

But here's the thing, Pfizer, you're not going to charge these people anymore.

Does that change the calculus now for

Democrats to govern with more baldness?

I think it does.

I think it does.

I mean, they've seen a boldness on the part of Trump using his power in a way that we have never seen before.

So I hope it awakens Democrats

to understand.

You want Luke Skywalker to look at Darth and go, I could do that.

I could just.

Nicer.

nicer without the people in the masks.

But the revolution, the political revolution that we need also means an involvement.

And this is what was so exciting about the No Kings Day, seven million people coming out.

We need all of you to be involved in this process.

It's got to be a bottom-on-up revolution, not a top-down.

No,

it makes sense.

I wonder if we've lost the purpose in the sense of

viewing government as a bulwark.

When the founders design a system and they talk about checks and balances and congressional checks and judicial and executive and the balance all there, I don't know that they factored in corporate power.

And I don't know that there's an entity large enough or with enough leverage to be a counterweight to that type of corporate power.

You're raising a very important issue.

I knew I'd get to it at some point.

Finally, I've been waiting, John.

You finally said something relevant here.

Yes.

Look, I know people say, oh, we don't want the government to regulate, you know, corporate.

The truth of the matter is, it's quite the opposite right now.

It is the corporate world, it is the oligarchs who are regulating the government.

They have far more power.

And we have got to create a political movement, a grassroots movement, which takes control of the future of this country.

Let me give you one example.

Right now, we are in the midst, as everybody knows, of these the Musks of the world and Bezos and all these guys putting hundreds of billions of dollars into AI and robotics, right?

This is going to transform our world.

It's going to transform our economy.

In my view, in the view of a number of economists, it means millions and millions of workers are going to be displaced from their jobs.

Who is engaging in that discussion to say, hey, Mr.

Musk, you can't make the decision for the future of humanity.

We are going to make the future.

And that is if AI works, it's going to work for working people, not just billionaires.

I'll go you one further.

Why are you always going me one further?

I'm not radical.

I'll go you one further with this.

Let's get really radical.

You know, these AI data farms are going to need more and more electricity.

Absolutely.

And these

oligarchs or billionaire or the people that control that are trying to cut deals to get cheaper electricity for themselves, even though that's going to raise prices for the rest of us.

Absolutely.

And it's being resisted all over the country.

It's electricity, it's water.

Scarce water is going to be used.

I like both of those.

All right.

But the bottom line is

these technologies are going to transform the world.

We have got to make sure that they work for working people, not just enrich the people on top.

What does that mean?

Well, among other things, if we increase worker productivity, we can lower the work week from 40 hours a week to at least 32 hours a week.

All right?

But we are,

in many ways, you know, if you look at productivity over time, productivity for the American worker has shot through the roof.

American workers are unbelievably productive.

That's my point.

But wages have not.

That is the profound point.

Over the last 52 years, with all of the increase in worker productivity and technology, the average American worker, blue-collar worker, is earning less today than he did then.

That's insane.

Why are you able to make these cases so easily and talk like a normal human being?

And these other, I mean, that's part of the problem in the Democratic Party.

Sometimes you listen to them and you just, you can almost see the consultant behind their eye going, don't frame it like that.

Talk like a person.

Well, you know, I think sadly it gets back to money again.

You know, if you don't want to say things that antagonize your campaign donors, then you have to wiggle them all.

Trust me, the United States government is always going to be a trough.

It's just a question of people are always going to make, corporations are always going to be able to make a huge profit off of the contracts that come from the American government.

The question is: can we deliver those contracts with less corruption?

You know, everybody talks about waste, fraud, and abuse as though that's only done from people down the chain, people that get food stamps and all those things.

They don't even look at the real corruption at the contractor level, at the

subsidy level.

John, the Pentagon, I voted against this, but Congress is going to pass a trillion dollars

for the military.

The Pentagon...

Never passed an audit.

Exactly.

They have the only

major government agency not to pass an audit.

No one denies that there is massive way.

They don't even know what they own.

And they're paying

the salaries of the people of Lockheed Martin and all this other stuff off the charts.

So your point is well taken.

And we've got to take a look at the incredible greed.

You know, these people on top are very religious people.

Do you know that?

Do you know?

Oh, yeah, very religious people.

Their religion is greed.

They worship at the altar of money.

We've got to deal with it.

They've got to use it.

God damn right at all.

So let's talk about this.

In conclusion, look, you've been doing this a long time.

A couple of years.

Is there a couple of years now?

I want to know in your mind, you've been in the rooms with these folks, you've been in the weeds with these folks.

What is your appraisal of their willingness to recognize this moment, to recognize the potential energy and thirst that exists out in this country for true leadership and

simple common sense that reflects a government that reflects the needs of its people?

What is your sense of the world?

I have been in the room, the door is locked.

And, you know, there are some very, very serious discussions about what we have to do to prevent this country becoming an authoritarian society.

But, John, the answer is not just within the room of the people currently elected.

What we are seeing all over this country right now are great young people like Mr.

Mamdani right here in the city of New York.

And it's not just him.

You're beginning to see good candidates who have the guts to say, I am going to take on the oligarchs.

I am going to stand with the working class.

That is what we have got to develop in this country.

Bernie Sanders.

the book inspired Rocky.

Bernie Sanders, everybody, what do you think about coming?

Peace.

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Hey, what's going on tonight?

Before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr.

Michael Costa.

Michael!

Nice to see you, sir.

Nice to see you.

What do you got on tap for the week?

Well, John, because of Trump's tariffs, China's not buying American soybeans, which means our farmers are hurting.

So

I'm doing my part by eating soybeans 24-SEV, 365, John.

How's that going, Michael?

Awful.

Is it wreaking havoc on my colon, John?

Yes.

Is it causing irreversible damage to my bones?

Of course.

But do I sleep easier at night knowing I'm helping out American farmers?

Well,

do you?

No, I'm up all night farting, John.

Because of the beans, you see.

You know, Michael, you could just buy the beans and not eat them.

Yes.

Yes, I could.

Michael Costa, everybody.

Here it is, you're rubbing his back.

Hey, everybody, Carneskin Tim Merchant here at the friendly neighborhood Burger King.

Enjoying my No Kings Day

with some traditional blame royal goodness in my hand right now.

We don't have a king in this country.

We've got a president.

He's doing a pretty darn good job.

Thank you.

Yeah, but

explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

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This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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