TDS Time Machine | Social Media

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You're listening to Comedy Central.

And some social media news.

If you're a preteen in Florida watching clips of this show on TikTok, you're about to be in a world of trouble.

We turn now to a social media showdown in Florida.

Governor Ron DeSantis signing a bill banning children under 14 from having their own social media accounts.

If this law holds, Florida will have one of the most restrictive social media bans in the country.

The new measure bars social media accounts for children under the age of 14 and requires parental consent for 15 and 16-year-olds.

It also mandates that social media platforms search for and remove the profiles of kids who don't meet the age requirement.

This makes me so mad.

This asshole Rhonda Santis might have done something I agree with.

I mean, what?

Wait, what does this say about me?

I don't know what this says about me.

I do think maybe this law isn't a bad idea.

I think we can all agree that social media is a nightmare for kids.

It increases their risk of depression.

It exposes them to predators.

It harms concentration.

It gives you a wildly unrealistic expectation of how easy it is to prepare meals.

Just throw in the potatoes, some scallions, some boiling water, a couple of fast edits, voila, beautiful dinner, and your entire family loves you.

You're a great father.

No, it's not that easy.

It turns out there's a lot of prep work.

The videos don't show you that.

They gotta blanch the onions, then you gotta julian the carrots.

Now it's 10 p.m., your kids are starving, they hate you.

Why am I supposed to be doing all the cooking anyway?

I was at work all day.

I'm not a family.

We're on my TV, goddammit.

Hypothetically.

The point is, if Florida teenagers teenagers are kicked off of their phones, maybe they could focus on all the quintessential experiences of being a teen in Florida.

Things like wrestling a Gator at prom, or going to the library and reading the four books that are still legal to read, or trying to avoid Matt Gates on your walk home from school, you know?

Classic Florida teen shit.

Honestly, I wish Ron DeSantis had run on this when he was a presidential candidate.

This is a much better message than his platform of wearing high heels and smiling like a demon in a horror movie.

There's always 2028, Ron.

For more reaction on this social media band, we go to Josh Johnson in Tallahassee.

Josh!

I'll tell you, Josh.

I'll be honest, I don't hate this bill.

I think getting kids off social media will benefit them in all sorts of ways.

Cognitive development, better time management, personal skills.

It's going to be great for them.

Yeah, Jordan, I couldn't agree more.

And that's the problem, okay?

If you kick kids off of social while the rest of us stay on it, you're giving them a competitive advantage.

How am I going to compete against a well-rounded child after social media?

It's already broken me.

I have short-term memory loss, bad eyesight, no attention span, crippling anxiety, short-term memory loss.

And

according to to TikTok, all those symptoms mean I might be pregnant.

Okay, Josh.

Come on.

I'm pretty sure you can compete with a 14-year-old.

I can't.

I've been staring down at a phone for 20 years.

I can't even make strong eye contact.

Look.

Stop that.

Stop doing that.

Please, stop doing, don't, stop, don't ever do that again, Josh.

I don't know any other way.

Okay.

I understand your concern, but you have to admit social media is awful for kids.

They just spend all day bullying each other online.

Yeah, I get that.

But banning social media won't make the bully energy go away.

It'll just redirect it to the rest of us, specifically me.

All right, I used to live across from middle school, Jordan.

I basically couldn't go outside after three.

I was walking home one day in shorts, and a kid in a wheelchair yelled at me, damn, I thought my legs fed up.

Okay.

Okay.

Fair, but you are an adult.

You can handle a couple of accurate comments, but

there have been conclusive studies that social media lowers kids' self-esteem.

What about my self-esteem?

A child said, I look like a pedophile merged with one of his victims.

And his friends said that they loved my performance of FastCar at the Grammys.

Oh.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Yeah.

I guess I can see it.

You want to know what else they said?

Because they had more in the chamber.

I don't know what they said.

Maybe nice suit to come with a car seat.

Or

you're like if Lil Wayne never wrapped, or

I didn't know adults came in fun sides, something like that.

Okay, Jordan, damn, you too.

I'm sorry.

It's just easy, okay?

So to be clear, you're saying you oppose this bill.

Yes.

In fact, it should be mandatory for these kids to be on social media.

Every child's face should be glued to a screen to protect me, I mean us,

when we walk home in shorts.

You can't argue with that.

Josh Johnson, everybody.

We all know social media is a big part of our lives.

Many of us are watching this on social media right now.

Thank you.

Follow me.

But we also know that social media can be very destructive for young people, you know, the youth.

But maybe not for long.

A bipartisan team of senators are eyeing a social media ban for kids 13 and under.

It's called the Protecting Kids on Social Media Act and would set a minimum age to use apps like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.

Their bill sets age 13 as the legal minimum for social media platforms, requiring companies to conduct more rigorous verification.

Teens under 18 would need verified parental consent to sign up for an account.

And platforms would be prohibited from using algorithms to target content to minors.

Yes!

Get these kids on social media!

And none of this bullshit where they can get their parents' permission.

That just makes the cyberbullying worse.

Because now when Jessica calls you a bitch, you know her mom and her dad signed off on it.

That girl, whole family is coming for your ass.

Now, for more, we're joined by one of my favorite people,

fresh off hosting the White House Correspondence Dinner, Uncle Roy Wood Jr.

Hello, Dulce.

I like the colors.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Now, you agree with me, Roy.

We got to get these kids off that social media.

Well, you're crazy.

Social media needs to be mandatory for kids.

Keep them distracted on their phones.

I want these kids out on the street talking to me, making me feel old.

You trying to walk past these kids and then they start complimenting you on your shoes, but I don't know the street name of these shoes.

Yo, OG, I see you, Cop to Scooby-Doo Green Goblins.

What is your ass talking about?

Did you just ask me for drugs?

Just say nice sneakers.

You about to need to get the hell away from me, hell.

I ain't one of your little friends.

You need to go home and bite down on one of them Tide Pods.

I'm tired of them.

They still eat the Tide Pods.

I mean, listen, I heard they're delicious.

Listen.

Roy, you have a child.

Do you want him on social media?

You damn straight I want him on social media.

I got to think about his future.

After AI and chat GPT take over, being an influencer is going to be the only job left.

In fact, in fact, when I catch my kid doing geometry homework, I go, well, boy, if you you don't go get in front of that computer, set up a ring light and start selling that flat tummy teeth.

We got to get these views up, boy.

And you know what else?

What else they'll say?

Like, instead of banning kids from social media, the people you really got to ban is all them booty models.

That's who you got to ban.

How am I supposed to be faithful when I ain't seen a woman's face in six months?

I shouldn't be able to recognize a woman by a booty crack, but I can.

See, this is what I'm talking about.

We're all too immature for social media.

Not just the kids.

Everyone should be banned.

Hell, ban me.

Do you know how productive I'd be if I didn't have social media?

I'd be Oprah.

A billionaire telling white women what to read.

Oh,

the power, Roy.

The power.

Do you understand?

If I could just get these white women to read these books, I could have so much role.

Roy, Roy.

Hi.

We're working.

What are you doing?

Did you know mermaids got ass now?

Oh, my God.

Look at this statue.

Look at this statue.

I'm going to support her career.

I'm going to follow her real quick.

You need to follow these mermaids.

Roy Wood Jr., everybody.

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Let's check in on all the latest social media trends with our very own running shag, everybody.

All right, Trevor.

So, so

one of the

what's happening online, man?

Oh, yo, you really wanna know?

You really wanna know?

You guys really wanna know what's trending online?

You really wanna know what stupid bullshit is trending on social media that we're all gonna forget about tomorrow, right?

Because it's important.

This is so important.

All right, all right, let's start with the toxic cesspool that is Twitter.

Alright, what's trending on Twitter?

Surprise me.

Surprise me.

Oh, oh, Bennefer.

Oh, Bennefer got married again.

Oh,

Bennefer got married again.

Big deal.

People get married every day.

These guys got married in Vegas.

Okay, they didn't even put in any effort.

For all we know, they were drunk.

Okay, and now because, what, two 60-year-old drunk people got married by Elvis?

Now the whole world's got to talk about it.

Oh.

I mean, they broke my heart the first time.

And now you just want me to, what, just believe in love again?

Huh?

Jenny from the block?

And Ben Affleck

from Dogma?

Like, please, I'm not getting invested in this again.

Alright?

Let's just see what's trending on Instagram.

Alright?

Instagram.

Oh, what's on the gram now?

Let's...

Let's.

Oh, wait.

Let me guess.

Let me guess what's on Instagram.

Oh, is it just the stuff that was trending on TikTok two weeks ago?

What's the matter, Instagrammers?

You don't have your own ideas?

What happened?

You ran out of pictures of your feet in the sand?

Why don't you take a picture of your book next to your avocado toast with some flowers on it?

Alright, let's just go straight to the source of the arbiter of human culture now.

That is TikTok, right?

That's where all our culture comes from.

What's trending on TikTok these days?

Oh, it's this big trend.

called

the put your shoes on challenge.

It's where a parent tricks their kid into thinking they have to help them fight another parent and their kid.

Okay, so let's just watch this clip.

But hang on to your final brain cells.

Okay?

Because this one sounds dumb as shit.

Put your shoes on now.

Why?

Because I'm going to go fight this girl.

And if her son comes out, I need you to fight him.

Okay.

I'm going to beat her eye up.

Mama.

I'll be like this clock.

I'll knock her head off.

Okay, you know what?

You know what?

I think I changed my mind on this one.

Okay, because when I first heard about this, I thought it was a terrible idea because it's the internet.

But you know what?

I actually do support child violence.

Okay, so

I'm all for this.

But the only bad thing that I can see about this challenge is that you don't actually get to see the fights.

Yo, let's see the fights, man.

Commit to the bit, okay?

I want to see some blood Even if your kid isn't good at fighting you as the adult when you're fighting you can you you can use your kid as a weapon right because they're they're small enough to fight with you got a skinny kid.

Yo, just toss them like a spear, right?

You got a toddler, you're cannonball.

Just cannonball them.

You got twins, you got twins, just connect them by the head, and now you got nunchucks, right?

Okay,

and now I know, I already know people in the comment section, I can already hear them just complaining.

This is bad parenting.

You can't encourage fighting with your kids.

It's bad parenting.

Well, you know what?

If your kid is willing to fight for you, no questions asked, that means you are a great parent, right?

That's right.

Now,

on the other hand,

if you tell your kid, hey, let's go fight, and your kid's like, hey, wait a minute, let's hear both sides.

That means you f ⁇ ed up, right?

I mean, look at me.

Look at me.

I love my mom.

Okay?

I love my mom so much, I'd beat the shit out of any baby for my mom.

Right?

Yeah, I see a baby.

I'm like, yo, don't even get out of the stroller.

Do not even get out of the stroller.

All right?

Yeah, because Mama Chang says, hi.

Bomb.

Yeah, straight in the umbilical cord.

Yeah, bomb.

That's right.

Back to you, Trevor.

Back to me.

Are you?

Fight babies all day.

Come on.

Nine to 24 months, anytime.

Well, good luck with that.

Ronnie Chang, everybody.

Not just in America but all over the world bullying is a huge problem and this week we saw another painful example Standing up for Keaton the powerful video millions are sharing There is growing support for young Keaton Jones the boy talking about being bullied at his Tennessee school in an emotional video that has quickly gone viral What do they say to you?

What'd they do to you at lunch?

They call me ugly.

They say I have no friends.

Man, every time I see that video, it makes me sad.

Like, look at that poor kid.

You know, people have bullied him, and we can all relate in some way, because everyone has been bullied in their life, and if you haven't, it's because you're the bully, you asshole.

Although, honestly, like, looking back on it, I won't lie, I'm a little conflicted about bullying, because genuinely, I think bullies have helped shape me into the person I am today.

Like, if it wasn't for bullies punching me and stealing my money, I would have never found the outlet that is comedy.

And then I would have never gotten to the daily show, and then I would have never been able to make the money that I still have to give to the bullies because they made me promise to give them all the money in perpetuity.

I don't know why I signed that bully contract.

And by the way, I will say, it is a little bit weird in this day and age what parents will film their kids doing now, right?

It's just a little bit weird in that moment, the kids crying.

It's like, tell me what happened, sweetie.

Wait, wait, let me choose a better filter.

Come on, come on.

No, no, I'll hug you afterwards.

Do it again, do it again.

All right, but this time, dab at the end.

Go on, go on.

But you genuinely did have to sympathize with this kid.

And his video brought out the best in people all the way to Hollywood.

Celebrities, politicians, and athletes offering words of encouragement.

Some of the biggest names in pop music weighing in, including Katie Perry, Demi Lovato, and Justin Bieber.

First of all, Keaton, I just want to say you are a legend.

Avengers co-star Chris Evans and Mark Ruffalo, who play Captain America and the Hulk, also sending their support.

Stay strong, Keaton.

You are my own personal superhero.

What would have been really dope is if they actually showed up to his school in costume and then just beat the s ⁇ out of those bullies.

Just like beat the s out of them.

Yeah, you know why?

Because no one would believe the bullies.

They'd be like, I swear, Captain America beat me up.

People like, yeah, whatever, man, whatever.

But it's still the internet.

And less than a day into the story, this happened.

The feel-good story of celebrity support for bullied 11-year-old Keaton Jones has taken an unfortunate turn.

Keaton's mom, Kimberly, is surrounded by controversy herself.

The spotlight on Keaton also cast attention onto Kim's prior social media posts, including this one, where she's holding a Confederate flag.

She posted a Confederate flag and bullied people who complained about slavery.

The only two photos on my entire planet that I'm anywhere near a Confederate flag.

It was ironic.

It was funny.

Yo, white people,

here's a word of advice.

A black person posing happily with the Confederate flag, that would be ironic because then it's like haha I'm not the person you'd expect to see standing with this right but with a white person in Tennessee it's more like haha this checks out

so now this is how the story evolved a kid gets bullied everyone rallies around him then people start digging up dirt on his mom and now people are asking should we still support the kid is it fair to judge a child by the sins of their parents should people post anything that might embarrass them online is it a private space Is it a public space?

And if we're looking at the internet, and

that's the weird thing: this conversation that we're having just spiraled out of control.

And it's like, what were we talking about again?

Bullying.

Yeah,

that's what we started talking about.

It feels like that was so long ago.

And that's the internet.

It can't seem to solve a problem without creating five more.

Honestly, if it wasn't for porn, I don't even know if it would be worth it.

Social media.

It's affected every aspect of our lives.

How we communicate, how we stay informed, how we showcase our booty clapping skills.

Yeah,

I used to make homemade DVDs to get that out.

Now it's so much easier.

But lately, but lately, conservatives have been complaining that tech companies are biased against them.

And yesterday, they took action in real life.

The Justice Department is looking at whether Facebook and Twitter are intentionally stifling the free exchange of ideas.

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey told a House committee his company is not censoring conservatives.

Jeff Sessions doubled down and says he'll gather state attorneys general to discuss whether social media companies stifle conservatives.

That's right.

Jeff Sessions has announced that he's going to look high and low, mostly low, to find out if social media companies are censoring conservatives.

Yeah, he's probably going to come back like, well, I couldn't find any bias.

Be like, did you check the top south?

No.

And now,

the reason the Justice Department and both houses are all over this issue is because clearly they're taking cues from the top.

You look at Google, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media giants.

And I've made it clear that we as a country cannot tolerate political censorship, blacklisting, and rigged search results.

We will not let large corporations silence conservative voices.

That's right, folks.

I, Donald J.

Trump, am sick of being silenced.

When was the last time you saw a tweet of mine?

When was the last time you saw something about me on the internet, folks?

It's been almost half an hour.

Why is that?

Is it because I've been up here for 30 minutes or because I'm being censored?

Because I'm being censored, folks.

Come on, get the f ⁇ out of here, man.

How is the guy who became president because of Twitter claiming that Twitter is censoring him and out to get him?

Yeah, like they're out to get him elected.

It's like Superman bitching about Earth, like, man, this planet is holding me back.

It's like, no, this planet is what made you.

If you don't like it, Superman, why don't you just go home and be Kalel the accountant?

Oh, that's right, you can't go home because your home blew up.

Sorry, I get angry when Superman shits on Earth.

But

maybe, maybe the president feels like conservatives are being censored because his only source of information keeps telling him so.

The tech giants are obviously politically biased against conservatives.

No one really disputes that.

You cannot have them dominating the information space only on behalf of left-winers.

Sometimes when you search my name, certain articles will pop up that are more disparaging and more negative and

three or four years ago instead of anything current.

Okay, now, to be fair, I understand what the stale prince of Ballet is saying.

Sometimes Google prioritizes older negative stories, but that's not anti-conservative bias.

That's just the internet, right?

The negative stories get much more attention than the positive ones.

Like when I Google myself, the news is never about some cool joke that I told.

No, it's always something negative.

And I tell cool jokes all the time, all right?

You never hear about the good stuff.

For example, for example, right?

Today, I saved this baby on the way to work.

But are you going to see that on the first page page of my Google search results?

No.

But if I do this, if I do this, if I do this, number one news story on Google News, and I'm not even a comedian anymore.

All of a sudden, I'm just a South African baby slam.

That's who I am.

The internet is cruel to everyone.

Everyone.

But...

But according to many people on Fox News, the only explanation for this is bias.

I tweeted out a clip from CNN of James Clapper basically admitting that President Obama was the one who directed all of the intelligence agencies

at the end of 2016 to launch an investigation

into President Trump.

So I tweeted out, it got no life.

It got no life.

And I know that's something that my followers and viewers care about big time.

It got no life.

So I'm just wondering, was I shadow banned?

No.

No, Maria Bottaromo, your post was just boring.

And I'm not even saying that to be mean.

We've all been there.

Every one of us has posted something online that we were sure was gonna break the internet.

Right?

All of us had that one tweet where we were like, oh man, this tree's gonna blow up.

This tree's gonna blow up.

And you're like, should I say, no, not yet, not yet.

Oh, man, this tree is gonna, oh, wait, let me, hold on, hold on.

Hey, cancel all my meetings.

I'm about to go viral.

And then you're like, and then you hit send, and then you're looking and you're like, come on, anytime now, anytime, all right, no likes, refresh, hold on, no likes, okay, hold on, hold on.

Is the Wi-Fi working?

No, Wi-Fi?

Okay, I'll just like it myself and get it started.

There you go.

All right, one like.

It happens to all of us.

And look, I'm not saying there should be no regulation of tech companies, don't get me wrong.

I just, I'm just surprised to see conservatives all of a sudden in favor of regulating private businesses.

Because when it's consumers or gay people or polar bears saying, hey, can you regulate some industries?

Conservatives are like, it's not the government's job to regulate private business.

But then as soon as they feel like they're not getting enough retweets, suddenly it's like, we're launching an investigation.

We've got to nationalize tech companies.

Long live socialism.

Burn me, burn me, burn me, burn me.

So now,

so now the government will spend all this time and money on something that could have been avoided if a few people like Maria Barromo got a few more likes.

And you know what?

We here at the Daily Show would like to help conservatives without having to drag Congress or the Justice Department into it.

So we went through Barromo's Twitter looking for another tweet that didn't get any life and really should have.

And I think we found one.

It's from June 6th, 2016.

Quote, would you throw abort B-Day bash for your dog?

Now, I'm going to assume there was some autocorrect weirdness that happened there because I don't think there's any such thing as an abort B-Day bash.

But even so, I think this tweet should have gotten mad engagement, especially since she went into the trouble of including the Twitter handles for her show, her network, the puppy parties venue, and even the birthday dog at Mini Doodle.

Yes, and yet she only got five likes, people.

Five likes, four retweets, yeah, and seven comments.

And one of those comments is, and I swear this is real, this one was from at Mini Doodle saying, quote, wrong person, please don't include me in your tweet.

So,

so you know what?

I've decided at the Daily Show, we're gonna give Bottoromo a hand.

We're gonna retweet this brilliant tweet to our own account at the Daily Show.

So, please go there and like Maria's original tweet, and then quote-tweet it to your own timeline with the hashtag Tweeteromo.

Do it to fight bias and save the internet.

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From police brutality to another scourge of 2020, Facebook, the place your uncle goes to investigate the Kennedy assassination.

There's no denying that although Facebook publicly denounces hate speech and misinformation, it's also become a big part of their business, which is why today, hundreds of celebrities have teamed up to send a message to the Zuck.

Kim Kardashian West and other celebrities say that they are freezing their Instagram accounts today to protest how its parent company, Facebook, has handled misinformation and hate speech.

Kardashian West has 188 million Instagram followers.

Other celebrities freezing their accounts for the day include Katie Perry, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Jennifer Lawrence.

It's part of the Stop Hate for Profit campaign that has pressured Facebook to remove hate speech.

Some have criticized the celebrity Instagram freeze as a stunt, saying it's not much of a sacrifice.

Okay, this is an interesting one.

On the one hand, I agree with people who say it might not be a huge sacrifice to not post on social media for one day.

I mean, for people who have spectrum, a day with no internet is just a part of their lives.

But on the other hand, you have to admit, all of these giant accounts freezing their posts on the same day creates a huge amount of attention to the problem of hate speech online.

And anything, anything that brings awareness to this issue, which is radicalizing young men, misinforming the public and undermining democracy is a really good thing.

Because guys, next to climate change and income inequality, online toxicity could become one of the things that rips our society apart.

Right now, there are fake accounts that exist just to piss you off.

Fake accounts that try and get black people and white people to hate each other.

People spreading conspiracies about vaccines, sex trafficking, and the Holocaust.

And as we've seen in India and Myanmar, even Kenosha, Wisconsin, hate that started online can easily cross over into the real world.

So look, maybe this one-day boycott isn't the silver bullet, but at least it's a step in the right direction.

And it's also good because maybe for a day, we can finally stop obsessing over stupid things like celebrities' butt picks and start focusing on important things like our friends' butt picks.

So kudos to Kim Kardashian for taking part in this massive event.

But if you ask me, taking some time off the internet could also be good for Kanye West.

I mean, he could finally get back to his roots, you know, forget the likes, forget the retweets, and just urinate on stuff for the love of the game.

Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, a lot of people are doing worse than ever because it turns out that the technology keeping us connected is also making us feel like shit.

With the stress of the pandemic, body image issues have been on the rise.

43% of women, 26% of men said COVID-19 negatively affected how attractive they felt.

The countless hours spent on Zoom or video calls is causing more and more Americans to be insecure about their appearance.

Video conferencing presents a constant, unedited, unfiltered look at ourselves that can be unsettling.

And those front-facing cameras we're all using aren't doing us any favors.

Things like the nose could actually appear larger and wider, and the eyes could appear smaller.

Not only is a person confronting their own reflection with much greater intensity and frequency than they ever had before, but they were staring at a distorted reflection.

This is all part of an alarming new trend coined Zoom dysmorphia.

Yes, Zoom dysmorphia.

It's when you realize that it's not just everyone else who looks terrible on Zoom.

And that's really not cool.

You know, Zoom shouldn't make you feel bad about your looks.

It should make you feel bad about your dirty ass living room.

But you have to remember, people, this is a new phenomenon that we're dealing with.

Humans didn't evolve to see their own faces all the time.

That's not normal.

I mean, except for twins, I guess.

But they don't count.

They're freaks.

It's just like another one of you?

What?

Like think about it.

For most of human history, if you wanted to know what you looked like, you had to get your friend to smash up some blueberry and rub it on a cave wall.

You look like this.

Damn, do I really hold a spear like that?

Now, the good news is that it's likely we'll all be using Zoom a lot less in the near future.

But unfortunately, there's another technology that also makes us feel bad about ourselves, and it doesn't look like it's going away anytime soon.

I'm talking about photo filters.

Yes, they've helped mankind realize its dream of puking rainbows, but some of the most popular filters just help you look more attractive, which may sound harmless, but it could be anything but.

Cutting-edge apps and social media filters are allowing ordinary people to enhance their online photos to impossible perfection.

In some cases, it's sparking a concerning phenomenon.

With apps like FaceTune, you have the power to completely transform yourself.

Bigger eyes, skinnier nose and jawline.

Smaller butt or flatter belly, wider teeth, smoother skin.

You can do it right on your phone.

When I take a selfie, I always use filters.

I wish I could look like my filtered self in real life.

This obsession with personal appearance that selfie culture encourages may have darker implications for mental health.

A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association says filtered pictures can take a toll on self-esteem, body image, and even lead to body dysmorphic disorder.

I do feel like we're losing touch with what reality looks like.

We're already getting there to the point where we're expecting people to look as unhuman as possible.

Yeah, photo editing filters set unrealistic expectations for beauty.

The same way fruit ninja sets up unrealistic expectations of how easy it is to slice floating fruit.

And once you have this filtered version of yourself in your head, head, you become dissatisfied with what you really look like.

So in essence, we're basically catfishing ourselves.

But if these editing apps can turn adults into quivering blobs of insecurity, just imagine what they're doing to kids.

Psychologists warn these photo filters can be particularly troubling for teens and young people who are still developing their sense of self.

80% of girls in one survey say they compare the way they look to other people on social media.

On Instagram, like I follow people like Kendall Jenner and and Kylie Jenner.

They all have this like time measure, like body image that everyone is expecting from this generation.

Young girls on social media have a negative body perception with one in seven girls reporting being unhappy with the way they look at the end of elementary school and that number almost doubling to nearly one in three by age 14.

80%

of young girls are using photo retouching apps to change the way they look before posting pictures.

And those with high scores for manipulating their photos were associated with high scores for body-related and eating concerns.

Any of you ever question your body because of what you see on social media?

Shame, man.

This is a vicious cycle for teenagers.

Social media makes them unhappy with how they look.

So then they use filters, which perpetuate the unrealistic expectations for themselves and others.

Plus, they're teenagers.

So they're doing all of this while they're driving, which puts everyone at risk.

And all the insecurity this creates is harmful for teenagers because I know it's hard to tune all of this out, but teens shouldn't be obsessing over this stuff.

Like, I honestly wish I could sit all teenagers down and say, hey, don't worry about how you look.

The planet's gonna die out before you're 30.

It doesn't matter.

Now, it's bad enough when people wish they had the perfect Instagram look in real life.

What's worse is when they actually try to make it happen.

The more people look at doctored up images, the more likely they are to actually start seeking out cosmetic procedures at younger ages.

These cosmetic procedures are becoming so popular with teens, plastic surgeons have coined a new syndrome for it, Snapchat dysmorphia.

And the number of kids getting nip tucks may astound you.

In 2017, nearly 230,000 teens had cosmetic procedures.

Kids as young as 13 are getting them.

Doctors seeing an influx of people of all ages turning to plastic surgery to look more like their filter.

62% of plastic surgeons reported their patients wanted to go under the knife because of dissatisfaction with their social media profile.

57% said their patients wanted to look better in selfies.

Absolutely, it's becoming more and more common when people will show me images on their Instagram or even something they posted on Facebook and go, this is really how I want to look.

Just last week, I had a patient come in and ask me for more of an anime eye and she couldn't figure out why it's not possible.

Okay, man, this is really disturbing.

13-year-olds year olds in particular should not be getting plastic surgery.

I mean when you're 13, your physical appearance is already naturally changing.

That's what our faces are doing.

It's like long-term plastic surgery.

I mean this is what I looked like when I was 13.

You gotta let that shit play out.

Honestly though, I don't blame the teenagers.

I blame the parents and the plastic surgeons.

I mean how are you gonna let them do this to themselves?

They can't even buy cigarettes, but you're gonna let them buy a new face?

Clearly this is getting out of hand, which is why there's now a movement not just against filters but all the ways that people have been distorting reality on social media many influencers have started speaking up on this issue admitting that they've presented altered images in the past and are opening up the conversation some are even posting raw totally unedited photos of themselves and breaking down how people on your Instagram feed may be manipulating their angles and lighting to get that quote-unquote perfect selfie.

There are many celebrities exposing the dangers of digital distortion.

They are posting images of themselves unedited, unfiltered online.

And this is a great example to young girls.

Pop star Lizzo made a big splash when she posted a selfie in the nude and unretouched.

There's no shame anymore.

And I just kind of post myself.

It's like, you take me as I am.

You're going to have to love me.

British MP Luke Evans has proposed the digitally altered body image bill, which would require advertisers and publishers to display a logo whenever a person's face or body has been digitally enhanced.

Okay, first of all, I love the idea of putting disclaimers on photos of people who have been digitally altered.

I love it.

And honestly, I don't think we should stop there.

We need to do this with everything that's been digitally altered, like food ads.

Those are the worst.

Every fast food burger looks great on TV.

But then when I order it, it looks like it fell asleep in a hot tub.

But I'm glad that we're finally learning the truth about what celebrities look like.

You know, personally, I'm waiting for Spongebob to join this movement.

I mean, no way that guy is that square naturally.

Have you seen that?

It's like it's not even...

Maybe he's not real.

Then how would he have a TV show?

Now, I'm not naive enough to think that society is going to stop creating unrealistic beauty standards anytime soon, all right?

But what I do hope is that we can better educate our kids and ourselves that our own natural bodies are beautiful.

I mean, except for that flap of old people's skin we have on our elbows.

Like, that shit is gross.

I don't care who you are.

It looks like a mid-arm ball sack.

But everything else is beautiful.

But because this movement could take a while, we here at the Daily Show decided to come up with a filter of our own that might help.

Are social media filters giving you body image issues?

Are you depressed you don't look as good as your filter?

Then good news.

You'll never have to worry about living up to your filter again with Rudify.

It's a brand new filter that turns your your face into Rudy Giuliani.

You'll never be happier with how you look in real life.

And obviously, this wouldn't be effective if you could turn it off.

So Rudify overrides all other filters.

And just to be safe, Rudify retroactively applies itself to every face and every photo in your phone.

The best part is the filter is permanent.

Just like Rudy himself, you can never get rid of it.

Rudify, you'll be overflowing with self-esteem.

Warning, use of this filter by Rudy Giuliani will rupture the fabric of space and time.

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Let's kick things off with Instagram, the reason every wedding has its own hashtag now.

Let's face it, scrolling Instagram can be pretty depressing, right?

The whole thing is just seeing people you'll never smash, wearing clothes you'll never own, in places you'll never go.

So we've all pretty much known that Instagram is not great for your mental health, and I I think we've known this for a while.

But it turns out that Instagram also knew this.

Instagram can be damaging for many teenagers' mental health, most notably teenage girls.

These are the internal findings from Instagram's own parent company, The Wall Street Journal, citing three years of the tech giants' internal studies, including one leaked PowerPoint slide from March 2020 that reads, 32% of teen girls said that when they felt bad about their bodies, Instagram made them feel worse.

Another from 2019 reads: teens blame Instagram for increases in the rate of anxiety and depression.

The Wall Street Journal's Jeff Horitz writing: 6% of American teen users who reported suicidal thoughts traced the desire to kill themselves to Instagram.

The research seems to contradict what CEO Mark Zuckerberg has said publicly.

The research that we've seen is that using social apps to connect with other people can have positive mental health benefits.

Oh, that's weird.

The research I've seen says that I can keep making money and there's nothing mull-adjusted

about me at all.

But that's right.

Instagram had secret data that it is in fact making us crazy.

You know, sort of like how the tobacco companies always knew that cigarettes cause cancer and they didn't say a thing.

Oil companies knew about climate change, they didn't say a thing.

I almost feel like there should be a new law that every company's internal research has to be made public.

You know, that way we as the public, we know the same shit that they know at the same time.

We don't have to wait 50 years to know what's actually in Girl Scout cookies.

Thin mints cause Alzheimer's?

Oh man.

Well at least I know.

Num num num num num num.

What?

Thin mints cause Alzheimer's?

Well at least now I know.

Num num nom nom nom nom.

How many cookies have I eaten?

And by the way, you want to know how I first realized something was up?

It's when I started getting targeted ads for apps to calm calm your mind and help you unplug.

I mean, that's basically the algorithm staging an intervention.

And meanwhile, my reaction is like, damn, I wish my pictures of raindrops looked that good.

And even if your social media addiction isn't making you depressed, here's another story about how it could actually be getting you into trouble in a totally different way.

The LAPD is under fire tonight after it was revealed that officers were instructed to collect social media accounts on every civilian they stop.

According to documents obtained by the nonprofit Brennan Center for Justice, officers have been ordered to start collecting a person's social media handle or username when they file reports on an incident.

The practice was started in 2015.

The LAPD issued a statement saying social media handles can be critical pieces of contact information along with phone numbers and email addresses.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry, this is a bad idea, right?

Hashtag follow and subscribe.

And also, what exactly do you cops think you're gonna find on social media?

Like, you're never gonna crack the case because someone posted hashtag TBT to me murdering Jeremy.

And I know it seems like a small thing, but how is this even any of the cops' business, right?

Can we not have one place in our lives where cops aren't on top of us all the time?

People don't go on Twitter to get arrested.

We go to Twitter to get canceled.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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