The Big Suey: Elle Yes or Elle No

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Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, Fat Face, and the Habitual Liar. This episode of the Dan Lobital Show with Stugatz is presented by DraftKings.
DraftKings, the crown is yours. I am delighted to see this face again so soon.
I hope that she comes around all the time. Elle Duncan, someone at ESPN that Zaslow is not feuding with and has never said anything bad about.
I wanted to talk to her because I've been negligent in this first hour of like this was this was a bit of a devastating injury last night. I mean, not a bit of like when when everyone's watching the sport and the best player it, Juju Watkins, goes down with a knee injury and gets carried off the court, March Madness becomes like, oh, how am I supposed to talk about and feel about all that? That just stinks.
That's just a body breaking down, and I wanted to watch her win everything because I know she can. So anyways, Elle, thank you for being on with us, and yeah, the heartbreak in that.
How did that go down last night? Well, it was really brutal. Probably TMI, but I was in the bathroom and I'm still wearing my IFB.
We do have to take pee breaks. And I had my IFB in and I thought I lost the broadcast because it was silent.
And I was like, what's going on? And then all of a sudden I started getting text messages. I'm like trying to furiously wash my hands.
My producer's like, get back to the studio. Juju just went down.
It's bad. It looks really bad.
And I was like, what? And so I run into the studio and you guys, the studio, which is normally, you know, especially with Sinead and Andrea is so joyful, so loud. Like we're yelling, we're reacting.
It matched the silence of the Galen Center. It was like everyone was just sort of in a little bit disbelief um from what we do from a professional level it's devastating because it's juju walk-ins because we wanted this elite eight matchup rematch with yukon because to your point like she's going to be the national player of the year and they're ahead of schedule um on a personal level it's devastating because of everything that juju's given to the game how hard she's worked choosing to go to a usc program that a lot of people scratched their head like why they they haven't been relevant since lisa leslie and she strapped her city on her back like she made la a basketball town again and she just to see that happen in the way that it happened, to see someone who is so famously unemotional, like she puts up a 30 piece, no emotion, like to see her screaming in pain and writhing on the ground, it was horrific and devastating.
And it absolutely changed the entire tenor of the tournament. It did.
Okay. So you're offering a lot of context there that I want to follow up on because of how this story hurts.
The connection specifically to USC. Walk us through the history of all of that, culturally, generationally, what that program means to those people and what it means to have this player, this hope go down like that.
Yeah, I mean, she has a giant mural in the city of LA. When she chose USC, she actually on her signing day or her announcement day, whatever you call it, she actually came on SportsCenter and talked to me.
And I've, in a very soft way, kind of asked her that same thing that I just said, which is like, okay, I mean, I get it. You're from LA, but like, you're the number one prospect in the country.
Everyone wanted you. Why not go team up with Yukon? Why not go to South Carolina? And she was so adamant that her entire goal was to, in her own backyard, make basketball relevant again, to make that USC program a powerhouse like it was in the early nineties before she was born.
You know, like she wasn't born when Lisa Leslie was doing what she was doing at USC and when we talked with Lindsay Gottlieb last year at the final four after they lost to UConn in the Elite Eight I was like I know that you knew Juju was a prize but did you know that she would get your program here this quickly and she was like no I didn't know it would happen so fast you know like she thought it would take some time and maybe some transfers that would get them there um and she has made like I've talked to LA friends who are like LA is buzzing with basketball at a college level right you're always gonna have the Lakers and sometimes the Clippers but at a college level like with UCLA being a powerhouse again and with USC and Juju she's the face of basketball and she is she has strapped that city on her back and they love her so much for everything that she's done I mean USC has become you know the place to go watch games we see every super megastar we just saw Jaden Daniels there it's just incredibly disappointed to see it go down like this you know you lose on the court you get out battled fine but like to see their chances suffer greatly because of what happened is just, it just sucks. I can't come up with a better way to.
I believe that's a good way to clip that there. It just sucks.
I can't come up with a better way to say that. And then she cuts out, but that, I mean, that that's a good way to describe it.
We could use a lot of words, but those two work. Yeah.
Elle, you talked about USC's chances. I want to get to that in a second because they are still a one seed and Kiki Iriafen obviously is one of the best post players in the country and she had a really great game after Juju went out last night.
But this is unfortunately such a common thing in women's sports to see knee injuries. It's happened to other great players right before the tournament.
Liz Kitley comes to mind, Olivia Miles, obviously. And it really impacted both of those teams' chances of winning a national title.

What do you think will happen next?

I mean, there's obviously a tough matchup in the Sweet 16 round for USC now

against a really good Kansas State team that just got some of their players back from health stuff.

So do you still see them making a deep tournament run?

So I do think they can beat K-State. We talked about this yesterday.
Like, what does this USC team look like without Juju? Because they haven't had to experience that. She averages 35 minutes a game.
So they basically play five minutes a game without her. And so I do think it's going to force, I mean, listen, it's still USC.
Like they still have Talia Van Oloffen who transferred there, Kiki Iria-Fenn who you mentioned had a career high. And I do think that there was definitely a galvanizing sort of moment for them yesterday.
And having her back, we heard Lindsey Gottlieb talk about that. But ultimately, like, to be honest with you, Jess, like, I didn't think that USC was going to get past UConn with Juju.
because like if you've watched UConn play the last two games like I'm not sure anybody's going to beat UConn if they keep playing that way um but I do see them getting to an elite eight it just obviously changes the entire scope of that matchup if Juju's not in it they're they're going to have to lean on everybody else but she's going to be national player of year for a reason. And we saw what happened for UConn when Paige was out.
I do think really quickly, too, though, like life sometimes is really interesting. The ironic symmetry of on a day that Paige Beckers played her last game in stores and tied a career high after what she's been through and her devastating injuries, too, that we then see the same exact thing happen to Juju.
Like it just, I hope that that is in some way inspiration for Juju that you can suffer these really great setbacks, but then you can come back better than ever. I mean, Paige hasn't missed a beat and she's going to be the number one overall pick.
But it's, you know, I don't see them making it past UConn. Either way, honestly.
I was about to say the same thing, actually. Going from Paige giving the interview in stores and then Gino talking about Paige's legacy, and then it happened like five minutes into the next game.
It was the last game of the second round. It was really kind of strange to see.
So, I mean, obviously it's still early. We don't exactly know the nature of the injury but like you would say we probably will see Juju Watkins back 20 26 20 27 season um yeah well I mean again it really just depends right like uh for Paige Beckers when she tore the meniscus in her knee it was in the summer and so she did miss that entire season because of it.
I don't know how USC is going to play it. You know, if there is any blessing, it's that it happened in early March and maybe not in the summer as they were doing their offseason training.
I don't know if you say, let's medical redshirt her, right? Like she's only 19 years old. She's not eligible to go to the WNBA draft until she's 22 years old anyway.
So I don't know. You certainly don't want to cause any long-term damage for someone who we believe is going to be one of the greatest players of all time if she projects the way that she is now.
But yes, I would say the getting used to a life potentially without Juju next season would be, that would be, you know, that would be a fair assessment. I'm wondering, and I don't know if this is overly simplistic, reactionary because of whatever the emotion of the moment is, but what level of unsatisfying is this going forward or what needs to happen in terms of storylines to take the pall off of what had felt like a giant celebration celebration and a coronation at a time where we know more of the women players than we do the men in college basketball.
It's true. I tried to say this to someone last night.
I was like, imagine if on the men's side, if they lost Cooper flag in the same way, right? Like it would change the enthusiasm for the tournament in some way. The good news for us is that while Juju is one of the faces of women's basketball and will be national player of the year, we do still have really great storylines.
We have Notre Dame, who has the best backcourt in the country, finally sort of figuring it out and rounding into form. We have TCU.
Haley Van List's story is amazing. TCU's story is amazing.
I know they're not like a major they couldn't even field a roster. They were horrible and now they're headed to their first Sweet 16.
People made fun of Haley for choosing TCU like wow that's great what a basketball powerhouse and to see her story like that's still a story. We still have South Carolina right like trying to go for to be back-to-back champs for the first time since UConn did it.
And then we still have UCLA, who is a huge program. Again, sort of a return to prominence, a return to glory, if you will, looking for their first Final Four.
So if there is any blessing, it's that this happened last night. It gives us a few days to compartmentalize and process.
And then we sort of get to look ahead to the Sweet 16, which is still rife with storylines. Yes.
Like, did I want an Elite Eight that was going to put up enormous numbers personally as someone that like benefits from that at ESPN? Yes, but we do still have a lot of meat on that bone. I would like to, Elle, because I remember when soon after we met, you had mentioned that you had that you loved my brother's artwork and that you loved what I did with my father.
And we did C.O. No on Highly Questionable.
And I'm just wondering if I can get you to play with us the game in honor of C.O. No, L.
Yes or L. No.
L. Yes.
Okay, you're going to, okay. You know I'll fund my name, Dan.

You know I'll love to fund my name.

Yeah, but you didn't even play it right off the top.

If I said L yes or L no, you can't say hell yeah.

It's got to be L yes.

L yes.

Thank you.

There it is.

All right.

L yes or L no, ripped jeans.

Ooh, I actually do like ripped jeans. I'm into them.
Like my kids have ripped jeans. I think they look cool.
So how do you play the game? L yes to the yellow pants that L was wearing the other day that I texted her about. L, those were phenomenal pants.
Thank you. They're very bright.
But I love them. You guys aren't playing the game correctly.
I just said L yes to her yellow pants.

L oh yes.

L yes or L no to women empowerment.

L yes.

I feel like it's a no-brainer.

Okay, excellent work playing the game incorrectly.

But L no to Billy.

It's got to be right on the line.

It can't.

L yes or L no to racism. Like, what are you doing? Dan, L no.
Come on, Dan. Oh, I'm sorry.
Although lately in this country, L no, kind of up for debate. Not putting your cart back in the cart corral at the grocery store.
L yes or L no? L no. It requires no work.
It's so rude. Like you're potentially damaging people's cars.
Just you've been walking around a grocery store. What is it? I live in Connecticut.
It's freezing. It's like three degrees and I will still take it to the thing or I'll take it to the front.
Like that's so rude and not considerate for everybody else. Irish goodbye.
El yes or el no? El yes. El, come on.
Like I've reached the age where I'm like, do I need to say bye to everyone in the room and make it a whole production? No, I'm just going to ghost you. Bringing a Bluetooth speaker to the gym and playing your music out loud.
El yes or el no? Okay, as someone that literally carries my little JBL speaker everywhere she goes and forces people to listen to my music, I'm still a hard L no, because people need different things when they work out, and it's not necessarily your trap music. Signing your emails, cheers.
L yes or L no? L no. Although the email sign-off gives me a lot of anxiety.
I never, you know, sincerely or you Or I just kind of do a thanks But L no to the cheers Sending your food back at a restaurant L yes or L no? L no I've worked at too many restaurants I know what they can do to the food in the back And also like, apart from having an allergy to it I went out to eat with a girl one time who sent her burger back because it came with lettuce on it.

Take it off and keep it moving.

Like, L no.

Buying a woman a drink that she didn't ask for. L yes or L no? L no.
And ladies, don't ever take that drink because you don't know what's in it. No.
Dan Hurley. As someone that needs people to wild them out for my job

L yes to Dan Hurley and all of the many persons As someone that needs people to wild out for my job,

L yes to Dan Hurley and all of the many personalities he has.

Oh, I trapped you.

I think I trapped you.

L yes or L no to LSU upsetting NC State.

Tractor.

I'll say L yes. I'll say that's tough.
I'll say L. Yes, just because they have the experience of being there before.
So does NC State, obviously. But I put their big three probably above NC State's.
L. Yes or L.
No. Jimmy Butler sticks it to the heat tonight.
Ooh, L-yes. Yeah, L-yes.
I think he's going to have his Haley Van Liff game, you know, where he's just like, you didn't want me. I see it.
L-yes or L-no to traveling with your own bar of soap in a container? Yeah, L-no. Again, unless you have like some kind of severe and sensitive skin thing.
you put the soap in the container after it gets wet it becomes a disgusting petri dish of smush and it's just what just no use the soap at the hotel they're fine like it's fine el like i i want my soap all right i like my brand of soap i don't want to rely on the hotel that I get set up in in Norman, Oklahoma or in Athens, Georgia. I want my soap.
I bring a soap dish. What's your soap? Like, what's your soap? What my wife buys for me.
Okay. Well, unless it's some kind of fancy soap, it's not any better than the crap they have at the hotel.
Guaranteed. The reason I said I

trapped you is because you love the

content of Hurley, and so I'll leave you

with this. Okay.

L yes or L no, Moki.

Gotcha. Gotcha.

You completely trapped me.

I'll say

the same thing. I like all the histrionics and she's so memeable and you know she's unapologetically herself so I guess you know LES to all of you you're going to separate it you're going to separate her personality and her final four Dan I won't have to see Dan Hurley.
So, yeah, hell yes. I love it.
Okay. No, I did something unfair to her, but I'm actually curious how she navigates the labyrinth in these political times as someone who has strong opinions.
She doesn't navigate. Well, no.
I mean, yeah. But the Mulkey thing is hard because you can respect and also like be wildly put off by a lot of other things she does.
Yeah, I would say that, yes, there is. I have a great respect for her as a coach and also as a former player.
And she gets the best out of her girls. And, you know, I never played for her.
If you were to believe a lot of the things that came out, that's problematic. But ultimately, like, I don't know her personally.
I do think that, um, you know, she's a historic type of figure in this sport. So, um, and I love, I love LSU.
Like I love her girls. So it's also hard for me because I think, you know, they love her and I love them.
So by proxy, sure. Yeah.
But you do like you have to compartmentalize and that can be, you know, I don't know her well enough to like make a snap judgment on her, but just based on some of the things like, yeah, that feels, that feels, I had someone say that to me the other day, they were like, you picked Florida to win. I was like, yeah, because I don't know anything about men's basketball.
I don't really watch. And, and they were like, oh, you know, their coach, I was like, what about their coach, you know? And they were just, they were like, yeah, there's some headlines.
So I Googled and I was like, should I have chosen, you know? But like ultimately I think they're a really good team. So that's kind of the journey.
El yes or El no, the dap that Mulkey gave that guy that one time coming out of the huddle. The dap.
Is that, you talking about the clipboard or the real dap? No, no, I'm talking about the real dap where she's walking out of the tunnel and there was a guy there and she daps him up like very nicely yeah I mean I'm into that I really appreciate it no he ruined the game she hasn't seen the dap I know was it. It's a classic dap.
No, we need the video team to pull it up so you can see. Okay, but that would have been good to have.
It's an A1 dap. But Dan, she covers the league.
L, have you seen Tony's job? I mean, I don't see... I don't consume everything that happens in the league.
I do have three other jobs that he has. I pull up something that's classic from Kim Mulkey.
All of a sudden, nobody knows about it. L, L, Tone, don't get defensive here, Tone.
It's crazy. Tone, I need you to go to the penalty box and just sit there for a while.
How about L no for Tony? He's on my shit list this week. Yes, like, Tony, Jesus.
Like, go ahead. Have you seen it, Dan? Tone.
Tone. Are you saying tone or, like, tone like Tony? Good question.
I can't. Honestly, I wasn't doing.
He's doing that thing. I feel like Jess can feel me on this.
He's doing that thing when, like, a dude finds out you do sports for a living and then he's like, oh yeah, who won the 1937 home run dirty? No, Tony would never know that. Ever.
He said L no to women's empowerment earlier. He did.
God, man. And he hates my dog all of a sudden.
I don't know why.

He's on my shit list.

I don't have time for him this week.

It's, it's... Elle was on fire there.

We were soaring into the sky.

And Tony decided at the very end to throw the ball off her face.

Just by, hey, Elle, try and pretend that you've seen this thing I'm talking about.

Elle, I'm sorry it ended that way. I will try to raise better broadcast professionals.
Okay. We definitely ended on a high note.
Can you just give me like one more for shits and giggles so that we can end on a high note? Because he ruined it so much. Okay, Elle, yes or Elle, no.
Me bringing my dog to work that everyone loves. Oh.
Elle, yeah. So long as it's not a, you don't work at a grocery store, right? You'll never get a grocery store.
You're right. This is not a grocery store.
And we're good. Although someone should tell Gino and Jason that.
Elle, good seeing you. Thank you for being on with us.
Always delightful. Please have me back.
Love you guys. You're the best.
Thank you. Let's get to our sound.
I feel really bad for doing that.

Tournament.

Why?

I normally don't pick on Jason and Gino.

I just had, just, I feel bad.

And everybody out there laughing, man.

I can hear the laughter through the walls and you feel like you've bullied them

and I can hear people laugh.

I can hear people.

I mean, it was a funny joke.

That's all it needs to be.

If you listen to Mystery Crate, you know. Weather is starting to warm up.
Regular season's starting to wind down. Games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up.
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Don LeBetard.

To us, residents.

Oh, wow.

That's pretty good.

It's in there.

It's better.

You think I haven't been practicing?

Stugatz.

I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy.

Brought to you by Headquarter Toyota.

441 Powerline Road.

Second down to nine.

This is the Don Levatore Show with the Stugats.

What happened with Tony?

Yeah, Billy, I saw that you enjoyed that.

You really roared to life there like I haven't seen since back when you were prohibited from saying things that Zaslo doesn't want to hear.

I was just trying to get, honestly, us to show Al a video of Tony's jumper, but I unsuccessfully did that. I know.
Thank you for the help there. But you enjoyed that Tony made that drown.
You came to life. Like when Tony threw that anchor on the proceedings, my God, I haven't seen such life in you in years.
I feel like he was about to hit us with a real Hoopers no, but we didn't get there. Billy loves nothing more than to...
My family. Now, I believe that what you love more than your family is seeing Tony fall on his face.
Oh, here he comes. Fall on my face because something that everybody's seen on social media, the six people here haven't seen it.
Okay, sorry. I saw it.
So then why did everybody look at me so stupefied? Oh my God, I don't know what you're talking about. Well, it's the kind of thing if you're going to bring up, you have to kind of be sure that the guest knows exactly what you're talking about.
But I figure if you've seen it, you're online. If you've seen it, you're online.
If everybody's seen it who's online, I figure the guest who covers the sport who's also online and sees things about the sport has seen it before. She probably saw it and forgot about it because it wasn't like that big of a deal.
If I tell you Kim Mulkey Dap, you know what I'm talking about? I remember the video. Okay, thank you.
But that doesn't mean that someone that covers the sport for a living, it's probably the 5,000th thing she'd think of when she thinks of Kim Mulkey. You cover the sport also.
You cover the sport. You're right.
Elle Duggan is so dumb. Yeah, but I'm a sick person that's online a lot.
Oh no. Like I don't cover the sport.
I remember that video. Whether you know the Dap video or not doesn't mean like you you're good at covering the sport Just like you maybe it wasn't memorable to her Not what I said.
My point is You implied it. I felt that way What are you talking about? You were like she covers the sport Yeah because she covers the sport.
She knows what it is. That's all I'm saying Well I feel like we can move on Zaslo what other weird things do you do? Yeah I mean how about I thought Elle was gonna El was going to back me on that one.
As someone who travels a lot, you want your own stuff. I mean, look at this.
This is sensitive skin. I want my own soap.
This is what happens when you shit on my dog. How do you feel about body wash when you go to a hotel? I mean, you have your own soap, but like, let's say something happens, heaven forbid, you forget your bar of soap or whatever, and it's one of those body wash pumps that's in the corner, like affixed to the that's another thing that's happening now before you walk in and you have your own little shampoo bottle your own little conditioner bottle your own little bar of soap and you know you say to yourself i'm probably never going to use these again but they're just going to toss them out let me just take these home in case it's a rainy day i run out of shampoo conditioner whatever i have the little bottles from the bottles from the hotel.
Now they attach them to the wall. You can't even take them home.
They're like industrial size. Right.
Yeah, but I bring my own soap. But if something were to happen, heaven forbid, something were to happen or your soap gets lost or whatever, would you use the body wash? You're not a body wash man.
As opposed to not using any kind of soap? Well, you could go just buy another bar of soap, I suppose. Nah, I'd use what they supply me.
Okay. Maybe you're right.
Didn't know if you're strictly a bar man or if you're a body wash man. I don't like how defensive Tony was.
I don't either. Now I feel weird.
Okay. So, here's the thing, okay? See, Tony's not wrong here, and I know why he feels alone, okay? Because nobody helped me? Oh, yeah, of course.
Tone? You're making it better. Thank you.
Tone. I'm doing that on purpose, yes.
Fine. You don't know whether it's my tone or his tone.
No, I know when he says tone, I know it's me. I need to stop talking.
No, it's not just that, okay? Because we're going to reach into the underbelly of what's been happening around here between you and Billy. I have nothing to do with what's going on today.
I'm just sitting here talking to Zaz about soap. So, the delight...
I'm a dove guy. Really? Scent free.
I'm actually allergic to a fragrance called linalool. Really? Yeah, I found this out last summer.
I did one of those patch tests on my back. And? It's in every product.
Oh, boy. I have to go scent free on like every soap and shampoo and conditioner.
Couldn't find a purple shampoo without fragrance in it. Your life seems difficult.
You can't eat anything. You can't use certain soaps.
You're a woman. Dan's the one that can't eat anything.

I'm a dove gal the way you are.

I am just sent free and I can't have wheat, barley or rye.

Tony, this is the part that I found funny about everything that happened there.

And that was wonderful.

Truly wonderful.

Including you being enraged by the fact that you're mentioning something that should be obvious to all of the people in this room. But you got no help and were left by teammates to feel like you were drowning by our ignorance when you're mentioning something that a million people in our audience would have seized on and will now support you because they'd be enraged on your behalf that none of us went and grabbed your alley-oop correct and i feel it's because it was kim mulkey if it was somebody else all of a sudden everybody would have jumped in and joined me but it was kim mulkey doing something everybody's like wait wait wait wait wait wait wait are we making this because kim mulkey is kim mulkey who's who's who spoke first here i don't know jeremy came out of nowhere.
Left field. Didn't say shit.
Left field is right. Are you seriously? You're going to make this political right now? Hey, you're making it political, buddy.
I don't know. You just did it.
None of us did it. We were having a good time laughing at you, and then you made it political.
I mean, whatever, man. It's fine.
But it's just a video. It's okay.
We were all laughing. How do you feel about, Zaz, the, like, shampoo conditioner combo bottle? Because, like, that's, it can't be both.
No. This head right here needs special treatment.
Yeah. I'm rocking any combos.
Wait, aren't you bald? Whoa. No, no, I can't grow hair.
I shave on, it's my preference. I shave my head.
I'm asking. I don't know.
I've never seen your head before. I have hair.
I shave it. It's like I can't grow any hair.
I shave it. The hypothetical I threw out there earlier was if you could be.
Emotions are high. I was just asking.
This Jimmy Butler shit is making everybody crazy. How dare you? If you could be Magic Johnson or Michael Jordan, who would you be? It was a hypothetical earlier.
And I was looked at like I had two heads. Like it was the dumbest question in the world.
Okay, so this is coming back now. You guys are just allowing everything to spill into the show today.
I'm trying to move us along. Okay, no.
I don't want to move along. Now we're stuck here.
Okay? We're going to stay here for a minute. Did you finish what you wanted to tell me, by the way, or no? No, Tony, I want to...
Oh, boy. You wanted to say something.
I didn't know what it was. Tony, I would like for you to tell us what you think here.
Trap. Don't do it.
Because you believe... I didn't see this from your vantage point.
You believe that that was Mulkey triggered. I believe that everyone in the room is ignorant to the meme that you're talking about, and it makes us, us, all of us, you must have felt alone with something that is fairly common knowledge.
Absolutely. It's very common knowledge.
You see it come across your timeline, whether it be on Instagram, on on tiktok and whatever it's kim mulkey doing yes having an incredible no look dap with a dude as she's walking into the tunnel waiting to go to a game and it's an incredible dap by anybody's measure there's a lot of people in this office that don't give good daps and kim mulkey gave us sideways right here billy i'll do it. No, I mean, you're setting me up.

I know I'm not going to do a good job here.

Okay.

Anyway, she does an incredible job

and it keeps it moving.

So the Cyclone makes fun of me.

Well, Dan.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Just slow everything down here for a second.

But we have a new game to play.

I don't want to play that game right now.

What?

It's Marlon or Panther! Are you ready, Dan? I don't think so. He just left.
But he's the contestant. Oh, well, we're in trouble then.
Do you think you would be good at this game? I do. I am good at this game.
Well, then let's have fun. Then we should wait for Dan.
We can do a next segment. Well, he left, so we're here now.
What do you guys want to talk about? I don't know. Is it really that obvious that Michael Jordan is the answer? People were looking at me like I was crazy.
People are going off the A, net worth, B, greatest of all time, C, Air Jordan, Nike, like, coolest shoes ever. I think a lot of people are going into the HIV.
Force, Space Jam.. Well, I think that's a reason to not be Michael or Magic Johnson.

But there's so many reasons why you'd want to be Michael Jordan.

That's all I'm saying.

He's got age.

But Magic Johnson, to me, looks a lot happier than Michael Jordan.

I agree with you.

He seems to be enjoying life a lot more than Michael Jordan.

Yeah, Michael Jordan had twins like a few years ago.

Oh, no.

What an idiot.

Yeah, I'm with you.

Magic Johnson had his kids and they're all grown now. So now he's living the life.
Oh, Zaslo, that's the dream, right? He's got AIDS. Love kids.
Happiest moments of your life. Can't wait for them to get out of the house.
You can go back to enjoying life. That's what I'm saying, man.
I'm a few years away. Really? I'm almost at the dream.
How close are you? I'm about to leave the house. I'm almost there.
How close are you? From both of them being gone, I am five years away. Okay.
And what's the tactic? Do you try to tell them you really should go away? If you want to experience life, you should go away to college. That's how you'll find yourself.
That's how you'll figure it out. Is that what you're doing? Or are you just annoying them a little bit more to drive them away? No, they're going to be ready to go.
Okay, good. When the time is right.
And then it's all about me and my wife in the Zaslow Mansion just doing what we want.

When did it change from mansion to manor?

When did you change it?

I've always had a mansion.

Oh, because he said Zaslow Manor.

No, I make mistakes.

I'd have never been there before.

Like the meerkats.

No, I have a mansion.

Okay.

So support, I'm trying to figure out is the tactic support or is it annoyance of my children to get them out of the house when the day comes? I think support's okay. Yeah.
Yeah, because you want to set them up in the right place and then they wind up being ready to leave. You don't want your child to not, you throw them out there.
It's not like you open up the cards or say, go ahead, you're free. No, they got to be ready.
Yeah. Well, that's the thing that I'm wondering, like wondering like is if if i push them too far then they'll rebel against me and then maybe that's not the effect that i wanted you know it's not like we're leaving empowered we're leaving out of spite and now let me do something crazy i feel like an important thing here is your kids have to respect you but you also have to trust them it's a two-way street right yeah i don't know i've never had kids i'm just thinking about my own parents daughters have started calling me by my first name because they think it's hilarious.
Oh, that's respectful. And I need to really put my foot down on here because they're three and one, and I can lose control very quickly.
Your one-year-old's like, Billy. Yeah, my one-year-old repeats everything that my three-year-old says.
Sometimes they'll say Guillermo to me. All right, so respect is something valued in your house.
They'll say Guillermo Lewis Gill, and I'm like, whoa! Hold on a second. This is funny

and adorable, but we're getting close

to the line here. So don't you treat him like Chris Cody

who treats his father, basically, right?

Well, not that poorly, no. Does he call

his father Greg? He does, Greg. He calls his wife

Kyle. Yeah, he does call his wife Kyle.

That's not her name. What do you mean?

It's not her name. Her name's Christy, not

Kyle. So why does he call her that? He's an idiot.

I don't know. It's an inside joke that they have,

and then every once in a while he'll just call her on the

Thank you. What? I'm a disciplinarian.
What are you talking about? I run a tight ship. I feel like you're the kind of dad that's like, you know,

don't call me Billy, but like,

you know. Well, my wife laughs.

That's the thing is that I'm getting undercut all around.

You know, we're supposed to be in a relationship here where we support each other

and she constantly sides with these children.

I'm zero to 60.

I'm very relaxed.

If you want me to get involved, there's no

middle ground. I go

right to, you know,

if you want me to get involved, I'm going to take care of this. You're not going to like the way I take care of it.
It's going to happen fast. You don't do it half-assed.
That's right. You're a zero to 60.
Yep. So they go to your wife first.
I've never seen that from you before. See, I'm a very relaxed person.
I'm very nonchalant. I'm easy to be around.
Measured. If you want me to get involved, I'm going to get involved.
It'll be quick. I was being kind of sarcastic because sometimes you can go from very relaxed person to tool of the week.
In real life, social settings, I'm a relaxed dude. Now, if you want to talk about serious stuff like the Miami Heat or the Florida Panthers, okay.
Then I'll, you know, I ratchet things up rather quick. But around the house, the discipline, I'm, I'm, either I'm chilling or, hey, I'm gonna take care of this lickety split.
Yeah. And do you ever get a situation where your children will say, I'm going to go tell mom? No, no, because I'm, no, they don't do that.
They don't play us against each other like that. What's the origin of L origin of lickety split i don't know look it up so my uh my daughters now that i've been saying stuff they'll come up to me and it's like i'm gonna go tell mom and i say go ahead wow powerful but it's really it's really a dare that means nothing because usually she sides with them over me so i'm signing my own death sentence by doing that okay so i was right what was i not in what sense you're not the one doing like the hard discipline of your daughters i try but i'm constantly undercut, so I was right.
Was I not? In what sense? You're not the one doing

the hard discipline of your daughters.

I try, but I'm constantly undercut, so at a certain point

I'm like, what's the point? Why am I going to be the bad guy?

I want to be the good guy. I want to be the favorite.

So I will let them get away with certain

things that maybe they're more than not. Like what? Calling you Billy?

What else do they do?

They seem like good girls.

Well, we put on a good front.

They're really terrors behind the scenes. My house is in shles not eating their vegetables apple doesn't fall far well sometimes they discover drawing on walls which is not good not great at all decorating well not the worst well this this one this one of the bunch is is maybe the rotten apple because she's she's defiant she'll draw on the wall and then you say no and she laughs and you clean it up and then you turn around and in the exact same spot there's more artwork.
Use the Sharpie? Try it. One of them used, the older one, eldest daughter, used the Sharpie the first time around.
The other one so far has used pencil and things that we can get rid of with a magic eraser so it's been fine. Used chalk one time, sidewalk chalk.
I don't know why kids love chalk so much. My sister used to eat chalk.
Chalk can't be good for you. No.
There's something in there that can't be good for you. Chalk.
I don't understand how it works. Can't be good.
What? It's calcium. What does that mean? It's made of calcium.
Chalk. So you can eat it? I mean technically yes.
I don't think so. You let your daughter eat chalk? No.
We have actual food in the house. I wouldn't do that.
But what if she's low on calcium? Yeah exactly right What if the doctor says she has a calcium deficiency Then I would get her Tums Well you can buy Tums or you can buy chalk For like 15 of them for 99 cents You break off a little piece You make it roughly the same size as the pill There you go Yeah but the Tums are flavoredums are flavored. Down the hatch.
That's true. The Tums flavors,

they're really innovative.

Let me tell you something.

And Zaza will back me up on this.

Kids are dumb, okay?

You give a kid a pink chalk

and you say that's flavored

like strawberry,

they'll say, I like that.

You give them one,

you say this one tastes

like asparagus,

a green one,

they're like, ew, yuck.

And it's like, dummies,

it's chalk, it's not flavored.

What are you talking about?

Take your calcium tablets.

Wow.

That's why they go to school, Billy. That's a good point, Roy.
Thank you, Jess. Can I show you guys the video just in case? No.
I actually really would love to see it. Honestly, in Tony's defense, he was failed on this front because had we seen the video, maybe this would have made sense.
Yeah, but I was banking on people. He could have given a heads up that the video would come up, though.

That's a fair criticism. Alright, well, here's the video for the people watching.
Jeremy doesn't want to watch it because it's

Kim Malky. Oh, you're right.
That's right. Just put it

on the screen. So again,

she's walking out. Boom.

Crazy dap. Not even looking.

And in slow motion. And in slow motion.

We should probably censor this. It's a perfect

dap. Yeah, see, dap

always confuses me because you don't know what the extent of the dap is going to be. And that looks like that was a dap in three parts.
Yeah. And she nailed it.
All three. Forget the not looking.
How does she know that, okay, this could be like a three-part dap kind of deal. That's why I get confused with dap.
I never know how long the dap is going to last.

David Sampson can teach you because he

famously was very good at it when we

asked him to do it. Really? No.

He was really bad at it.

Real hoopers though. He's got age.

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