Hour 2: TAYLOR, DEFEND YOURSELF!!! (feat. Anthony Williams a.k.a. Jason 'The Jet' Mason)

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This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast. it's time for against the spread and it's brought to you by our friends at draft kingsKings.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Jess, what do we got?

I'm taking the UConn Huskies in the Final Four against UCLA, minus 8.5.

I think UConn's offense is too much, too multifaceted for UCLA to handle.

I think they win that game easily.

Again!

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Again! Thank you. this year.
Panthers have beat the Maple Leafs both times that they've faced each other. Again, one is coming in hot, one is coming in cold.
Is this the game where the Maple Leafs take down the defending Stanley Cup champion Florida Panthers? Maybe. I don't know, but I'm going to take the Panthers plus one and a half because one and a half goals is a lot in hockey, so I'm not saying the Panthers are going to win or lose, but I think they're going to cover against the spread.
Thank you for doing that, guys. We also have, I believe, that we're closing in on an interview with Jason Mason, the runner who was behind our beloved Taylor in that race.
We also have my guy, Jason Goff, who's a podcast host at The Ringer. He joined me last night in going out with Charlie and Charlie's high school friends.
So I'm going to bring Jason in at some point to tell all the embarrassing stories from Charlie's high school experience. But I guess Jason could probably come in, too, for this topic.
Jason's a big basketball guy. Works for the Bulls pre- and post-game show, I believe.
Yeah, him and Kendall Gill. Yep.
But this topic, Amin got beef with our coverage or our opinions on John Morant from yesterday, right? Yeah, man. You guys really dropped the ball.
You're talking about why Taylor Jenkins was fired this late in the season. By the way, I don't think we have a definitive answer for that because it's kind of ridiculous.
I don't know if you guys, I can't remember if you guys mentioned this. His entire staff had gotten fired prior to this season, which in the NBA is the ultimate get your black ass up out of here, right? Even though his name is Jenkins, he's white.
But number two, you guys talk about the offense. You can't piss off the best player.
It wasn't his offense. It wasn't his offense.
The offense was devised by, get this, the two new assistants, one of whom is now the head coach and the other one is fired. And I'm just like, wait a second.
Hold on. You're going to take my staff away from me.
You're going to hire somebody else that I didn't have a say in. Then you're going to tell these somebody else's to devise the offense, even though our offense was okay last year.
Right? And then when the star player doesn't like it, you're going to use that as an excuse to get rid of me. This is ladies and gentlemen, not like Taylor Jenkins misstepping or whatever.
This is classic textbook. We're getting you up out of here.
So who wanted him up out of there? You're saying, oh, okay. The whiz kid Wall Street front office that thinks that, hey, man, let me give this head coaching job to this man from Finland who's never been in an NBA capacity in any form or fashion prior to this season when we brought him here from his illustrious record of winning the Euro Cup and the Basketball Champions League and every other league over there that's not really one of the heralded ones that come here.
Let me put it this way. This guy isn't David Blatt.
And I'm not trying to knock him. He might be the best coach of all time one day.
I don't know. I don't know because his resume is super thin.
He's not David Black. David Black came here.
This dude won Euroleagues. This dude coached like the biggest clubs in Europe, like national team coaching.
He had a real resume. Unfortunately, he didn't have an NBA resume, and so the NBA guys didn't really respect him.
And he didn't do himself any favors either. In this case, Thomas Isolo is his name.

He comes from, as I said, from coaching in Germany, in France,

some okay clubs at okay levels,

but not the highest levels of European basketball.

Not domestic and not the continental championship of the EuroLeague.

And this is the guy who's going to be the head coach of your NBA franchise now. That, to me, is the galaxy brain of front offices.
We're like, I know the best coach. He's not even here.
Like, oh, you guys are listening to that? Like, oh, I know this indie band that only plays for five people. That's what they're doing.
Can you make it make sense, though? Like, I get it. I think the harder, if you can't, that's fine.
But the harder, the easier thing to do is, like, this doesn't make any sense. This is crazy.
They're just trying to be way ahead of anybody. If I was challenging you to make a positive argument for this decision, because I think we all were, even if you say that we had it wrong, we all agreed that it was shocking and it didn't quite give them the best chance.
How could someone convince themselves that this is going to be good? I would say the only reason I can think of, and it's a pretty dastardly one from a basketball standpoint, is, oh shit, if we let him rock with this, what if he goes on a huge playoff run and then we've we got to keep him i really want my indie pick from finland you get rid of him now my argument was you knew he wasn't your guy the moment you fired his entire staff and gave him his uh his assistant coaches why didn't you just fire him then why give him the oh well we owe it to him why you don't owe him to him nine more games in a playoff run then? So to me, it's just, again, this is just the ridiculousness of NBA front offices that far too often skate. We're really good at blaming coaches.
We're really good as a culture. It's all the coaches.
I can't believe that. We never bring up the front offices' role in all this.
And you, of all people, Dominique, Mr. Tanking is bad.
I would think that you would be Mr. Callout, all these front offices out here instead of picking on poor Taylor Jenkins, man.
I didn't pick on poor Taylor Jenkins. You called him a bum and you told him to get the hell up out of here.
I didn't call him a bum and tell him to get the hell up out of here. I heard you.
I did, he's a bum. You called him.
No, I think that I was embodying the voice of the team where team where it's like you bum get up out of here. I don't think Taylor Jenkins is a bum.
I'm not qualified to evaluate Taylor Jenkins as an NBA coach. But I do think that understanding that the part of your responsibility is creating buy in.
And I think that's become more of a job for coaches than it has been in the past where we've moved. And I think this speaks to some of the things that you were saying earlier about how you talk to players now is kind of different like yeah the way that you have to manage the team now is different than it was in the past and just saying like John Miranda's being petulant is not going to be a defense and I don't know where you got that voice from I know you like to do imitations but you don't hear that bass you don't hear that melanin I think he was just throwing shade just trying to come at you.
He was. He was.
That's all right. That's all right.
I'm secure. Look at me.
Got a haircut yesterday. Well, it's easy to be insecure around me.
It's easy. All right.
He's a sniper. He's a talented sniper at that.
He's got the whole affect of basketball insider, genius, knowledgeable man, but he

can also be cool in the streets. So he's got that, you know, two-pronged attack.
Jason, how's the flock doing? You need to, so this is, this is why you don't make friends in this industry because they let you down at some point by being themselves truly and they do it upon meeting. The first time I actually interacted with Amin, he really cut me deep.
Fresh off a flight, I was wearing a suit. I was taught to dress up when you get on airplanes.
First generation born here. My 400 parents instilled that in me.
And I do that to this day. You get off a flight, you should look good.
Had to go to a meeting where Amin was there.

You could call a meeting.

It was a meetup.

We were at Tap 42 at Aventura Mall.

Hey, I don't know where I'm at.

I don't know where I'm at.

It's a city that I don't frequent.

You know, I got a mixer.

It's one of those mixers they do.

Like, oh, it's a mixer.

And I'm like, all right, cool.

They have a great chopped salad there.

I wish I'd have known, Jess.

You know, I'd have worn my chopped salad suit. But instead, I pull up and he called me a shady youth pastor because I look like a young man who was a role model.
Instead of these dregs of society running around in T-shirts and shorts and cutoffs. I had to show up.
You look great today. Hey, first, thank you.
I appreciate it. I've never said he doesn't look great.
He's always very well-dressed. I'm just saying, on that day.
He was overdressed a little bit. He looked like he might have embezzled from, like, the title.
He looked like he said, close the door. He was a gemstone.
Close the door. We not leaving until the congregation raises $40,000.
$40,000. He said he found Jesus down found Jesus down in Miami on South Beach.
That's why I must go. That's where most people find Jesus is down on South Beach.
The morning after. You were looking for him.
I don't know if you found him. That's why these coaches don't get no respect now.
It's because they're not dressing like the gentleman that they used to have to dress like. Now you're out here in basketball clothes and stuff.
Yeah, exactly. The likes of Amin Elhassan shooting down their dreams.
Now, that's the problem, too, when you draft a talent that you know is going to be wildly impactful in your city and change your basketball culture. You just have to hope that he's mature enough to get you through some of the bad coaches as well, right? Or some of the bad front office management.
Like, I'm glad you mentioned that thing about front offices because there are too many NBA front offices running around that aren't up to par. And all we do is cycle through coaches that are good coaches.
Like, how long do we know Kenny Atkinson was a decent coach before Brooklyn had to let him go? And now he's doing what he's doing in Cleveland with talent and people who buy in. Like, that he was a good coach in Brooklyn, and the knock on him was like, yeah, but those guys don't like you.

Karis LaVert is really not, you know, Spencer Dinwiddie, he's on your side.

So you're out, and then it's like, all right, that was it, buddy.

Go ahead.

And that phenomenon is even bigger when it comes to black coaches. Don't be don't be a black coach and get fired like that might be it jb jb is like the the the exception to the rule because until junior where's west west is a good example right west is the rule steven silas so as long as i worked in the nba steven silas been in the nba everyone's's always like, this guy, all these players that I know played with, you know, where he was an assistant.
That guy's great. He's going to be a great head coach.
I was stopping for him when Billy got the Bulls job. So Steven Silas gets a job in Houston.
Finally, all right, got Harden, got Westbrook. You're going to take us to this next era post Mike D'Antoni.
He's like, cool. And then like Harden's like, I want to get traded.
And then Westbrook's like, I want to get traded too.

And so essentially he's given a bunch of babies.

Kids, yeah.

Kids, basically, who don't know anything.

Not that they're not talented, but they're just not a team that's ready to win.

And he gets fired.

And I'm like, does Steven Silas get a fair shake?

And then once he's out, does he get a shake anywhere else?

That's it.

How does that translate to the NFL, though? Because guys like Sean McDermott... Don't give him a chance over there.
We give him a chance and then if you mess up, that one time you're out. We're talking about coaches, period.
Black coaches, you know you're not coaching an NFL team. But guys like Sean McDermott who pop up or...
Remember, who was it back in the day? The black coach was Sherm Lewis, I believe he was. Oh, yeah.

Man, he's a great offensive coordinator, but boy, he ain't never going to get a head coaching job. The guys who stick in the NFL every once in a while, where did this guy come from? You give him a quarterback, next thing you know, they're there for half a decade.
We'll get back to that in a second, but we have a guest. No.
We got him. We got him.
We got Anthony Williams, a.k.a. Jason the Jet Mason in the building.
The man who cooked that bum, Taylor. What's up, Jason Mason? How you guys doing, man? I mean, I mean, Anthony.
I'm sorry, Anthony. I didn't mean no disrespect.
I thought Jason Mason was a cool nickname. That's dope.
He was flying around the track. Taylor, I will have you know, Jason.
So welcome to the show. Thank you so much.
Appreciate it. Taylor been popping trash talking about how he cooked you and he could cook me and cook everybody on the track.
I was wondering, sir, if you have any rebuttal to what Taylor was saying about that speed.

You probably don't

remember Taylor.

So my buddy actually sent it to me.

Did some research for Taylor.

Our team actually won that race.

Taylor ran a great

leg. I'll give him his credit.

I'm not a 400 runner. I was a hurdler in college in high school, a state champion, All-American.
There she goes. Resume.
I'm a hurdler. I'm not a 400 specialist, but we did win that race as a team, so we got that.
Get him. You let young Calvin Sampson pull away from you.
It sounds like what you said to me. He increased the gap.
I'll tell you what I heard. I gave him his heard.
I remember he had some wheels on him. I'll give him that.
That's even more shade. Taylor, get up here.
He had some wheels on him. It's shade.
A10 champ, salute to you, Anthony. Appreciate you.
I believe we got the baton at the same time and I handed it off before you, but that's neither here nor there. That's fair.
I looked you up. Hey, you were an athlete.

I give you credit, man. I give credit where it's due, man.

Yes, again, mutual respect.

Taylor, Anthony. But hey, but like I said,

4x4 is not my thing.

Taylor, Anthony's saying

this is a hobby for him.

The thing that he was actually great at,

state champ. He was putting up numbers

and banners. 810 champ, conference champ.

What banners were you putting up? I quit after my first year. I will say this.
Everyone's being very respectful to each other, but Anthony, I will tell you that Taylor had his numbers out there on the computer, and he was circling his comparisons to yours, and he was saying that he was faster than you in high school. No.
That's tough. Like I said, I'm a hurdler.

Hurdling is my specialty, man.

You know what I can tell, though?

Are we judging Nelly by his country album?

No, we're not doing that.

I am.

I can tell a dog when I meet one.

And Taylor, you're not a dog.

I'm listening to my man Anthony.

No, no, no.

Wait, Taylor, start barking.

Hold on.

What are we doing here?

Get that garbage off the screen.

It is, I hear, I hear it in his voice.

I see it in his posture.

That is a calm, confident man.

Taylor, you turning red back there.

You got beads of sweat on your head.

You stuttering and stammering.

Well, I quit.

I quit. And the panoramic roof is providing atmosphere as well.
I can see all that. That man.
The roof won the race, by the way. I'm just being honest with you.
You can put your hands up against the TV screen and feel the heat. I saw Taylor pull up today on a scooter.
And my dog got a roof that you can see true. It wasn't even electric either.
It was manual. Taylor was on his foot.
Taylor, defend yourself. God damn it.
Taylor was scooting like Punky Brewster in the work while my dog Anthony got a convertible 24-7. That man is in a spaceship.
Oh, yeah. That's a family car.
Anthony showed up on my show in a spaceship with redwoods behind him. Where you at, Anthony? You in a national park.
This is classic. I'm at work, man.
I'm on my lunch break. Oh, he handling light work on his lunch break.
I'm going to come out here and get a little snack. And my snack's going to be named Taylor.

Easy.

Oh.

Hey, I don't want to hear nothing from you, Scoot. No, no, no, no.

Get out of here, Scoot.

This is classic DB talk where I've been saying to Dominique, let's go.

And all he keeps doing is talk, talk, talk.

I got my running shoes on.

The reverse card.

I'm ready.

I like the reverse card.

I showed Chris Cody where we could do this race. And Dominique shows up today.
He goes, I think I might be hurt. I think I might be hurt.
That is everything I've said so far is true. I did not fake an injury.
What I did was today I walked in, and I looked at you, and I sized you up, and you ain't had no engine. And I got more confidence.
Wait, let me see your cakes, Taylor. Take me? See what? It's fine.
I think it's fine cakes. No engine, daddy.
You can't. There's no burst in there.
There's no power in that. Can we see Anthony's? Nope.
Anthony don't need to show. He don't need to.
He won already. He don't need to show.
Yeah. Look at that man.
So where are you, Anthony, if you don't mind me asking? What part of the world? So I'm in South Carolina. So after Mason joined the military, eight years army, five years.

Thank you.

Yo, he is winning on every level.

Taylor, you appreciate it, man.

Saved two babies last week.

You suck, Taylor.

Meanwhile, Taylor over here eating lunch before it gets laid out for everybody.

This guy.

Yo.

What are you doing?

That's what he does, man.

They go feast. They bring out their lunch.
That's the type of dude he is, just so you know, Anthony, is that Taylor's the type of dude that they set out to lunch, and we don't go on break to get lunch, and Taylor out there just squirreling away little sandwiches so we can get some. And he's out of here.
Scoot, scoot. I appreciate it, man.
So you said you joined the military.

You're still in the military now?

No, so I'm a veteran, fresh veteran.

Last day officially was March 7th.

Congratulations on a great career, brother.

Thank you for your service.

Yeah, man.

Thank you.

It's a pleasure to serve.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What branch?

Army.

Oh, yes.

Listen, my dad did 20 in the Army, man.

Oh, you did, dude.

My dad did 20. This is the greatest black role model that has ever been on this show.
Ever. It's him or a means.
Ever. Like I said.
Ever. Oh, man.
Well, thank you so much for joining us. Any parting words you want to have for Taylor or anyone? No, it's all love.
If you got a shameless plug, there's a track meet for my best friend who passed away. Devin Brewer Invitational.
So I'll drop you guys a link or something if you want to submit. For sure.
We have a scholarship foundation. So like I said, all love.
Taylor, hey, blessings to you, man. He's gone already.
My man, I love this guy. We fired Taylor.
When they kill you with kindness. This whole time, this is the worst kind of enemy.

They're like, hey, man, I wish you and your family nothing but the best,

and hopefully your children can look in your eyes and see a winner

when they think about me.

We'll put that in the show notes, and we'll definitely make a contribution.

We appreciate everything that you've done for us.

Thank you so much for joining our show.

The final question, though, is what's your Uber rating? You a 4.9 guy? Are you a .9 boy? Are you a .9 boy or nah? I prefer to drive myself places, so I'm not really aware of it. There for joining us appreciate you i looked up your middle name that's how i know you fast yeah anybody named javante that way yeah that's oh man this is a message from sponsor Intuit TurboTax.
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5G speeds not available in all areas. Don Lebertard.
I took my son to the barbershop, get a haircut, and my man gave out some limp dap.

Oh, no.

Damn, damn, damn.

Stugatz.

I disowned him.

I threw him right under the bus.

I was like, whose kid is that out here dishing out limp dap?

This is the Don Lebertard Show with the Stu Gads. I don't know how I feel about you volunteering my bread, though.
That was crazy. We're all going to make donations.
No, no, no. I meant I.
I meant I. You said we, didn't you? On behalf of Dan Levitard, Metal Ark Media will be donating $3 million.
No, no, no, no, no. Be careful.
My feeling is we're a team. P.Cosco, man.
I was planning to make the contribution, but I said it's we. Oh, thank you.
I have gotten taken by many a GoFundMe. I would have thought the wrong way to do that was say I will make a donation.
Like, I intentionally said we. Football guy.
Team guy. Team guy.
Winners of team. If I say I'm going to make a donation, then it puts everyone in an awkward situation to also have to say I.
So, I mean, I should have said I, on behalf of Amin and Jason and everyone else, am going to make a donation. Yeah, to do that.
Yeah. Make it big, too.
I mean. Whoa, whoa.
Slid. Chill.
Chill. Chill.
Chill. I said I'm going to put something on it.
I said I'm going to put something on it. A little $5.
I'm not trying to send. How much? I'm not trying to send all the kids to school.
When you said it, me and Garvin, I got that. Immediately.
Like, hey, bro. You got a two-month-old.
I'm an eight-year-old. I got my old charities.
I got to take care of. Me, too.
Travel basketball, man. It costs a lot of money.
Oh, my God. He can still hear all this.
He was on the Zoom the whole time. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? I saw.
I could see him. That's fine.
I mean, he didn't say that. Were you just laughing? Yeah.
How's Taylor? Should we check on Taylor? That was rough. That was rough for him.
Give him a snack. Taylor did his best.
He tried to redirect it to me. That was a smart move.
That was a good move. But what he don't know is.
He's actually walking to get food right now. I knew it.
I told y'all. Got him in the kitchen.
Got him in the kitchen. This setup, though, this is a majestic setup, by the way.
I got to be honest with you. I've been around a lot of things and a lot of entities.
You guys got the food. You got the machine that was making April Fool's Day.
That was nonsense. Our water machine

yesterday, I tried to get it. It's just like, hey,

here's pineapple

butter water. I'm like, what?

April Fool's Day.

Our bevy is making April Fool's

Day? Yeah, I see. It pissed me

off because it's water.

I need it to live. Don't you joke

around. It's like if the trees

was like, hey, no oxygen today. April Fool's.
Oops, there's it to live. Don't you joke around.
It's like if the trees was like, hey, no oxygen today. April fools.
Oops, there's lead in here. Hold on.
How many of us think? Too soon, Jeff. How many of us truly believe if the machine told Chris, we have butter water for you? Pineapple butter? I don't know how I got there.
You came up with that so quickly, though. I got caught up in the air.
I said pineapple and then I realized that's a normal water flavor.

So I gotta go somewhere

so I went to pineapple butter.

It's not that the flavor

is unimaginable.

It's that you would over say

no.

You're like

butter water?

I'll try.

I'll take it for a walk.

But also like

you don't know

what kind of day

I'm having machine.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like I ain't had time

for your quirkiness.

You know what I mean?

I just got off

a bad meeting.

No one's ever like, I wish that my water machine told me jokes.

Hold on.

Y'all want to hear the worst April Fool's I've ever fallen for in my life,

and it happened yesterday.

And this is the scariest part.

I think I got the oldest kid among anyone in here.

Yeah.

Was it Tiger Woods saying he's playing the Masters?

No, this is way worse, bro.

This is way worse. My kid hands me me this sheet and it's a jumble said that can you help me with this? I can't I can't get any of the words and so I look at it and I'm usually good at the the jumble whatever and other you go just like one of them is like Multiplying or whatever just look for an ing and you got it like yeah I can't see you know find it then I'm like yeah just look for the ing it's right there so can you show me where it is i said well it's somewhere in there and i'm looking and i'm like i'm trying like trying to buy myself time that i pretended i knew where it was and then my kid was like it's not on the sheet because this is an april fool's day and i was just like oh no i've been had and i was i was i was was crushed.
And I went downstairs. I can't believe it.

But guess what? And my kid messed up

and said what? And I said chicken butt.

Got him back.

Now I have the upper hand again. A little harder

than that. I'm not your dad.

Like immediately.

Raise the stakes.

Look at him right behind me.

April fools. Now you got hit with a slow one.
Hit him with a slow one. Gotcha.
Go ask mommy about the secret we've been keeping from you. I'm just like picturing the meeting at the Bevy headquarters.
And they're like, hey guys, I got an idea. On April Fool's Day, we hit him with a joke.
And they're like, that's good. That's a good meeting, everyone.
What if? What if the bevy went sentient on us? I have feelings too. I also can tell jokes.
Hey, what is a butter pecan pineapple? Pineapple butter pop water. Actually, I'm thinking we should start a market now for pineapple butter water.
I'd try it. No? Take it for a while.
Take it outside. What if it played an April Fool's joke on Dan and was like, here's your orange water.
And Dan was like, no. That's right, Dan.
Can't have that. He's allergic to everything.
Orange, steak, garlic. Pecan water.
I mean, he believes he is. He gets blood in the alley.
Dan's an unusual character. But we love Dan.
He would have loved the Gerd interview. He would have asked so many questions about gastrointestinal distress.
Hey, Mike Ryan tried to ask Kenan Thompson about Gerd and Kenan Joseph. Why? In Mike's defense, it was my fault.
Why are you standing up? Why are you standing up? I created the circumstances that put Mike in a bad situation.

I'm not going to allow you a bad situation. You gave him the ball late in the shot clock?

Yeah, I couldn't get it up the court.

And so I passed it to Mike to get it up the court.

No, but Mike was also looking for a pass.

And if you didn't pass it, he was just going to steal it.

That's fine.

But I mean, I know I don't know.

He's like, I'm getting in here with a question.

So I landed during the Steve Williams interview. Woof.
And boy. That was exceptional.
Steve, how many golfers could you beat on tour? That was the greatest question of the year. What about with your fists? On any platform.
News, political talk, weather, channel, like anybody that's been interviewed. My man just told the ripcord, like, by the way, who ass could you whip on a tour? Gov, this is my favorite part.
It is a tiger. This man.
Please say tiger. This man is a graduate of the University of Maryland, a fine institution, Harvard Business School.
Was president of the Players Association and all the negotiating CBAs in two different sports, by the way. Big week.
Unheard of. Everything on paper, Dominique is like, wow, this is a renaissance, man.
Put him on a microphone. He turns into a regular football player.
Hey, Chris. Hey, man.
Chris, this is your time. Chris, you have a question for the guest? Oh, yeah.
I did hear. I did.
Chris, what you got? Chris, it's your time to talk, right?

So as a former producer, in that moment, I was like, oh, he don't know what a talkback button is. Like, your talkback button is right here.
I had been using it all show. That's the worst part.
I had been using it all show. Let me ask the setup here.
Do they turn your mics on and off for you? No, I can press this on button, because I have produced for talent who would look at the mic, come into the segment and just look at it and be like, you got the mic going to have to turn itself on, huh? I'm like, come on, dog. Help me out here.
That's the worst part, is that I knew all of these things. I have hosted this show many a times quite well.
And the show was going great up until then. I fell apart that was no no that was great no excuses that was great that was fun bad so john vanta do you do brackets yes john vanta do you do brackets what's the worst question that you've asked on this platform at this show or in general just this let's keep it here at this show i know i know you You must got one in your mind, James.
A hundred percent. Oh, for me got one in your mind, Jason.
If you're asking the question. Listen, I have a ton of awful questions that I have asked guests, and you just sit there and you're like, ooh, this is.
Right, no, I want to know which yours are. I'm buying time for a main or anyone else.
I can buy time there. While we buy time, here's one question that Dan asked a NASCAR driver.
What is the worst part of the life? That was the rest of it you wait for the rest of it That's it. What is the worst part of the life? Wait now we have to play the whole entire thing with the reply from the person that Dan was interviewing Yeah, cuz if you're interviewee.
What is the worst part of the life? Four seconds of silence The worst part of the life of what? It was brutal. That's tough.
So what's yours? I asked Kenny Satterfield one time, what was he going to do after basketball while he was still in college? And it wasn't like. It's not that bad.
No, but it is, though. It is.
No, it is. Hold on.
Because when you're talking to a college athlete and they're thinking, you know, pros somewhere, you know, keep it shaking and moving. And I was like, yeah, Kenny.
Barber College, like, what are we thinking here? What are we doing here? In your defense, you were right. No, no, no.
We're usually right when we ask, you know, those kinds of awful questions. Like, he was right.
He wanted to know who Steve is. He always wanted to say who he beat up before.
I need no defense. I accept that I blew it.
I don't need no defense. To be fair, it was the first interview on the first day with someone from a sport that is not in our wheelhouse.
He's shooting you bail. That would have maybe also not gone well even if Dan was here.
That maybe perhaps needed, I don't know, Stugatz to be present for because he is the golf guy that has been absent for a month and a half. No bail needed.
So, Jess, I appreciate you. But as we know, accountability plays.
I'm going to do my bid. I deserve all the ridicule.
What I'm not going to do is pretend like I cooked that interview. I smoked that interview.
The interview was not cooked, it was smoked. Every other segment, however, I will not lie to you, been cooking segment after segment.
Bucket. Bucket.
Bucket. Bucket.
Bucket. Just so you know, distribute it.
Give me a new teammate. I'll get you to ball where you like it, just like Magic Johnson.
It don't matter.

I've been balling ever since then. However, what I'm not going to do is pretend like those interviews were good because they were atrocious or pretend like it's okay that I point to some other reason why I suck.
It's a man on a screen. All I had to do was ask some questions.
I blew it. I want to go back to the, Chris, what you got right here? Which is a little improvement over my favorite interview thing in anywhere, sports, media, entertainment, whatever, is whenever the TNT guys are interviewing the player of the game after the game.
Where they all, this is Shaq here. I'm like, big fella, we know.
Like, you don't have to announce yourself. Like, I love the idea of, like, Shaq asking a question, just going right to the question, and God's like, oh, I'm sorry.
Who's talking to me? Is this Ernie? If we're going to MMQB the caddy interview, I think we need to give Chris Cody a pat on the back for his question about if he caddies elsewhere other than on the golf course. It was a great question.
Can I tell you one thing that just popped into my mind? There's so many terrible portions of that interview. We haven't even talked about the time when I mistakenly pressed the loser game show host button while my man is in the middle of talking.
Are you hit the prices wrong on him? Hit the prices wrong. And then, like, everybody laughed and he explained, my bad, I made a mistake, whatever.
And the guy goes back to the, like, you guys had moved on, and he goes back to that question. He hit multiple buttons after that, too.
My favorite part of that interview, the worst part, was Tiger, he said that Tiger had no distractions. And that's why he was the greatest of all time.
And none of us, none of us had the fortitude to push back on that. Not one distraction, Tiger? Many distractions.
Not one Perkins? Shoney's. Wasn't it Shoney's? Perkins.
It was Perkins. It was Perkins.
I mean, Perkins, Shoney's, Bennegan's. I mean, Denny's.
Shout out to the Bennegan's. Get you a Monte Cristo.
Get you right. I heard Denny's is in trouble.
I heard that too. It's like one of the next big chains that's going to stop me.
I've never eaten at Denny's. What? I don't That's gonna I've never eaten at Denny's What?

I don't like I've never eaten at Denny's

It's not that I don't like it

I've heard a lot of Denny's around Chicago

Because I have never really

If they are

They're on the outskirts

Like the Chicagoland area

Boone's over Miami

That's a sandwich

Okay there you go

Thanks Chris

I'm not

A lot of people are nodding along

It's our food correspondent

Chris Cody

I like it

I do a lot of jokes

That are not for everybody

He's gonna defend me

Lay out here

I'm a fan of Chris Cody. And have been for a long time.
You don't have to be surprised about it. No, no.
No, so. No, I wasn't doing that, Chris.
I wasn't doing that. I saw Chris.
You'll never believe this. Didn't think I was going to like him.
I was pretty sure that guy was incompetent. No.
Probably thought he didn't know what he's talking about. I came to a revelation.
Oh, well, you know what? I'm a big fan. He's a warm, inviting, big, gentle teddy bear.
You know what I mean? Look at him. He's a good man.
He's got the backward letters on the hat, so you know he's down with the culture. There it is.
Get a wrench. You know what hat that is.
You might take back your culture. Hockey culture.
There you go. Panthers.
Shout out to the hockey. You know? Blackhawks do that.
Shout out to the hockey. I think Chris Cody should be my Miami tour guide this year.
Chris, you down? Because last night. Oh! He lives in Broward.
Last night with these two dudes. I got to get.
oh, I will clear the floor for this. Because this is really why I wanted Jason to come on.
And Amin, I would love for Amin, but Amin, you know, Amin's not a too cool for school kind of vibe for me. Like, we used to be cool.
He used to come on my little NBA radio show on Sirius XM back in the day. You know, that's how we first linked up when I got to Atlanta.
And ever since then, the, I won't even say friendship, but the attachment has grown apart. And he's thrown nothing but barbs my way.
Your career has blown up. But that doesn't mean I can take these barbs any better.
You know what I mean? I'm still an insecure individual. You guys can sort this out in the break.
I need you to get to these stories from last night. Oh, my God.
Because them stories was cooking. I would like to...
We ran it to Rick Ross' ex-wife.

Oh, that's right.

That's what started the night.

That started the night.

You didn't even mention that.

Yeah, that kicked off the night.

Yeah.

Immediately.

So she invited us out to karaoke.

She sat next to us, and as she was leaving,

she invited us to go do karaoke

because apparently she was hosting a karaoke night.

I forgot.

It was on her Instagram.

She showed us an Instagram story.

Somewhere called Overtown? Oh, yeah. Overtown.
Shout out to Tito. I don't want no smoke.
We didn't want no smoke. We didn't want anyone involved in any of this, but that's what kicked off the night.
Send Charlie to Liberty City. Did you go? No, we didn't go that.
Oh, no. But we had some teachers sit next to us.
You know, when teachers get out of town, you know how the vibes get. You know what I mean? A teacher's little convention sit next to us.
I got accosted by my favorite people, the old black men. It was all old black men.
Everywhere we go, they're like, hey, brother, thank you for what you're doing. I like what you're doing, brother.
Did they hit you with this? Keep representing us. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

It's implied.

What a burden.

Oh, the unnatural pressure of being black in front of old black men.

Like, you think white people put pressure on you?

An old black man look at you like, hey, now, I know you're not slipping up the way, you know, the mothers are slipping up.

Like, I don't even know what I was doing, sir.

I'm getting a soda right now.

Whenever they tell me that, the first thing my brain goes through is like the dumbest things I've done for this show. Oh, yeah.
Damn. I hope they didn't see that.
You're gonna get your sellout award at the Black News. You're just like, damn, I've disappointed so many old black men today.
On a daily basis, my dad. You know what I mean? Wow.
I once lost a grid of death punishment where I had to do a whole show handcuffed. So I showed up dressed like Martin Luther King with the numbers.
And I did the whole show like that. And then we would put you on a flyer.
See, it all comes back. Yeah, we introduced Charlie to Martin Luther King Day club flyers.
He was unaware of that. And I was like, yeah, you gotta...
Chris, do you know about this? Yeah, I do, but tell Billy. The cultural exchange is happening right now.
So when there's... Martin Luther King Day is a holiday, so on Sunday, there's a big party at a club or a day party at a brunch or whatever.
They'll do the flyer, but on the flyer, it'll be a picture of Martin Luther King, typically in modern garb. With a durag on.
They'll give him a grill or something like that. And then they'll put like shaking asses next to him.
A car over there. Like it's called community performance.
There we go. Shaking ass.
I mean, that's what it is. The flyer's got a motion.
Like a reflection card. It's like a hologram.
A hologram. You just got to twist it.
So this is the same Puritan earlier in the show. Puritan? Yes.
How about Puritan? When did I present myself as a Puritan? When I said Slump Buster and you grabbed your pearls. That's not the show we do here.
Shaken ass comes out the next hour, though. No doubt.
Shout out to the MLK estate. We needed one more black guy here.
I'm forcing us to do this. So, Charlie, please stop me if I ever say anything that would get you and your friends in trouble.
But we met his friend last night who's a lawyer, and his name is— He's a great guy. Oh, yeah, he's a great guy.
What did he do? It's a great start. He didn't do anything.
That's set up. That's a great start, right? No, there was a lot of stories last night.
Some of them can make it to the air and some of them can't. But his friend's name is Buddy Barnwarper.
Warper. Buddy Bardwarper.
Bardwarper. Bardwarper.
He's a created player on 2K. He's jacked.
I think the prom story, I think we can get clearance for the prom story. I think we can get clearance for the squatter story.
Ooh, squatter story. That was on the line.
There are two squatter stories. All right, if we leave names out, can we tell the squatter story? Sure.
Okay, so Buddy was the, in the summer, Buddy, they all went to the same school together, private school, all-boys school in D.C. So Buddy was the janitor during the summer.
He would make some money. He's a stand-up guy, stand-up guy.
Buddy also was a military man before he became a lawyer. Before he became a lawyer.
But in the summer, he would make money by cleaning the school. and they had a teammate on their football team who got the nickname the Mad Squatter.

That's right.

Because this young man would go into the section of the school that he knew Buddy was responsible for cleaning.

And he would squat.

Come on.

Shit on the floor.

Do his business.

In the middle of the thing?

Yep.

Locker room floor.

Just shit on the floor.

Just a nervous individual. Now I get why you were like, he's a good guy.
Yeah. And, buddy, he would do it routinely.
Like, it was a regular thing. Intentionally laughing at it.
And then, buddy, just clean it up. Just going about his business, clean it up.
It's crazy.

It's the soul of a good white man.

Because I've got to tell you right now. Buddy's white?

I would have called him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the squatter was not.

The squatter was not.

Buddy played college football also.

And we happened to have a similar, or we have a connection to a strength coach. And Buddy told a story of his strength coach, whom I also know.
He said the strength coach got really hype on test day. I don't know if you guys know test day.
Everyone does. It's the day when you test.
You try to get your max number on the squad or the bench. That's what I thought it was too.
So, on test day, the strength coach is trying to get everybody hyped. So he proceeds to rip his shirt open, get under the squat rack, do four squats.
With the Texas belt buckle. Yes, with the Texas belt buckle.
Get under a 450 pound squat rack, do four, rack. Scream at everyone.
Take it back off the rack immediately. Do five more.
Then collapse to the ground convulsing. This is how we kick it off the test day.
This is the energy that he wants. And, buddy.
Seizures. Yeah, Harvard football.
Ivy League school, guys. What? Ivy League school.
This wasn't even like Michigan State. This is a strip coach at Ivy League school.
He's like, hey, you're preparing accountants for life by dying in front of them on a squat rack. Shout out to strength coaches out there.
Yeah, strip coaches are wild dudes. The last story that I've gotten approval to tell is the prom story.
Oh, Lord. I took his prom date, so he married mine.
And not only married, but gave her a beautiful family. The idea that I have in my mind is Buddy was mad that Charlie took his prom date.
I didn't even realize he was mad. And then Buddy was like, you know what? You took my prom date.
I'm going to marry your prom date. And I'm'm gonna be a great husband and a great father to the children i'm gonna dedicate my life to avenging the prom date stealing bastard you are and i think one of his kids name is charlie to be honest yeah yeah i wish yeah weather is starting to warm up regular season starting to wind down Games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up.
I know what you're going to need by your side. It's by my side already.
Miller Lite. Yeah, that's right.
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Going to a car race Miller time. Going to see some tennis Miller time.
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Miller time is always a good time. The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one.
Miller light, great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
Tastes like Miller time. Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
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