Hour 2: Something About These 'Mc' Coaches (feat. Amin Elhassan)

Speaker 1 All right, Smirnoff, official vodka of the NFL, world's number one vodka. Chris Cody, you're with me here.

Speaker 2 Smirnoff!

Speaker 1 Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Spinoff.
I'm gonna ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff! Not your favorite game day drink. What's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff!

Speaker 1 All right, here's the deal: game day is everything: the noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again. Spirit off.

Speaker 1 Smirnoff off belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff! Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

Speaker 1 They've been doing it since 1864, which is, I don't even want to do the math. It's a long time.
It's like when Greg Cody was born. They're award-winning.

Speaker 1 They make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together. So yeah, we do game days.

Speaker 3 That's their thing.

Speaker 1 And if you're over 21, you should too.

Speaker 3 Why, Chris? Smearing off.

Speaker 1 Grab a bottle of Smearin Off at your local retailer and head to Smearin'Off.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Smearing off.
Please drink responsibly. Smearing off.

Speaker 1 Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smearin' Off Company.
New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.
Smearing off.

Speaker 4 This is the Don Levatar Show with the Stew Gats Podcast.

Speaker 2 It is time for

Speaker 4 to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy.

Speaker 10 Weekend Observations

Speaker 10 presented by Miller Light.

Speaker 10 Then,

Speaker 10 after what felt like an eternity of waiting,

Speaker 10 a lifetime of nothingness,

Speaker 10 a vast gaping hole in all our lives,

Speaker 10 friday night came and salvation arrived and people rejoiced not just in miami but all over the country and indeed the world

Speaker 10 and just like that

Speaker 10 make no mistake

Speaker 10 las rosas is

Speaker 10 back

Speaker 10 yeah yeah and also

Speaker 10 also nfl football

Speaker 10 You guys know what the L in NFL football stands for?

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 10 Las Rosas.

Speaker 10 Jador Sanders

Speaker 10 forced into a starting role due to injuries. Stintillating.

Speaker 10 Two touchdowns in the first half. You guys know what else the L in NFL football stands for?

Speaker 10 Looks like the real deal.

Speaker 10 Afterwards,

Speaker 10 Jador confronts longtime Browns beat reporter Tony Grossi in the tunnel. Do you guys know what else the L in NFL football stands for?

Speaker 10 Long time

Speaker 10 and also legendary.

Speaker 10 Tony Grossi

Speaker 10 did on ESPN Cleveland. He told Shadur this was a big night for you.

Speaker 10 You guys know what else the L in NFL football stands for?

Speaker 10 Let's not get carried away. The preseason game.
What are we doing?

Speaker 10 The big night?

Speaker 12 Come on now.

Speaker 10 Asia Wilson dropping the WNBA's first 30-20 game.

Speaker 10 Goat.

Speaker 10 Diana Taurasi

Speaker 10 dropping more F-bombs in her documentary

Speaker 10 than points scored in her career.

Speaker 10 My GOAT.

Speaker 10 Shohei Otani

Speaker 10 hit with a $240 million lawsuit on Friday, then hit three homers on the next three days.

Speaker 10 You know what that's called?

Speaker 10 Silencing the critics.

Speaker 10 Believing that Mike McDaniel

Speaker 10 could break up an actual NFL fight

Speaker 10 is like clicking on the Jerkmate logo and believing you're about to watch Stranger Things.

Speaker 10 What happened there?

Speaker 10 You guys know about this jerkmate?

Speaker 4 I hate clicking on it by accident.

Speaker 10 I know.

Speaker 10 I thought I was going to see Stranger Things.

Speaker 10 I saw Stranger Things, though.

Speaker 10 Buying your doughs from CVS.

Speaker 10 Dangerous game.

Speaker 10 Top five most embarrassing things to buy from CVS.

Speaker 10 OLI.

Speaker 10 Tampons.

Speaker 10 I know. It's normal.
Everyone goes to, but it's just like something weird about me going to the counter with tampons. I don't know.

Speaker 10 OLI.

Speaker 10 Exactly. You get it, Tasha.

Speaker 10 OLI.

Speaker 10 Condoms.

Speaker 10 I always keep waiting for the cashew to say congratulations on the sex.

Speaker 10 OLI

Speaker 10 Hard liquor.

Speaker 10 I get my middle of the light from a CVS, no problem. I get hard liquor, I feel like it seems like I have a problem.

Speaker 11 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 I couldn't agree more with you, Amin.

Speaker 10 Stronger. Hell, it doesn't.
The hell it doesn't, Zaz. See, you haven't been to the right CVS.
Speaking of hell,

Speaker 11 not yet. Later on, sorry.

Speaker 14 All right.

Speaker 10 Number five.

Speaker 10 Depends.

Speaker 10 It just means you shit yourself, right?

Speaker 10 Number four.

Speaker 10 Supplements.

Speaker 10 You know the kind I'm talking about.

Speaker 10 Number three.

Speaker 10 Personal lubricant.

Speaker 10 Number two.

Speaker 10 Christmas gifts.

Speaker 10 It's just, it's an admission. I'm a piece of shit who forgot.
No, it's a good stocking stuffer place get a lot of stocking stuffers at TV No, you go Christmas shopping at TVS.

Speaker 10 I'm a piece of shit who forgot and I gotta get this gift in right now and you also have the heart of liquor in your cabin You're like, oh, this guy's and the lube.

Speaker 3 This guy's a piece of shit

Speaker 10 The tampons. What's happening here?

Speaker 10 And number one

Speaker 10 Those

Speaker 10 why would you why would you just

Speaker 10 go to a sex store? Go to sex supermarket with your son buy him there like a normal person

Speaker 6 you ever the jets you ever buy the father's day card on father like the morning of father's day every year and it's like this like it's it's better if you do it the day before the day before it it feels like you feel like a good person you do it morning of on the way over to your dad's and you like you meet the other guy there that's also doing it last minute and they're all the good cards are gone it's like sad cards there like that's always a sad time the morning of buying that card quite an admission by you mother's day man oh

Speaker 10 Chris, that's honestly, I went with Christmas for number two because of the lore, but the reality is any one of those holidays, Father's Day, Mother's Day, like whenever you're buying the day of

Speaker 10 at CVS,

Speaker 10 they know your

Speaker 3 piece of shit. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 10 They know your even birthday card, to be honest with you. Because if you had time, you wouldn't have gone to CVS to get a birthday card.

Speaker 10 The whole card section, you know what? The whole card section.

Speaker 10 The Jets.

Speaker 5 Shit. Nope.

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 10 Actually, you know what? Leave it in there.

Speaker 10 Embarrassing thing to get a CVS, the Jets.

Speaker 10 The Jets.

Speaker 10 Dropping a documentary next week that detailed the events of last season.

Speaker 10 That's the textbook definition of insult to injury. Nobody wants to relive that.
Why would you do that?

Speaker 18 What happened last year?

Speaker 19 Huh? Nothing. A couple of times.
Can we just go to the next one?

Speaker 20 There's sports at a certain point? Like Hard Knocks. There's the SEC show now.
There's the quarterback show. The Jets have a documentary.
North Carolina's going to have their documentary.

Speaker 20 There's a Cowboy documentary.

Speaker 19 Can I just watch football and not worry about all that other stuff?

Speaker 6 We should do a doc of us watching football this season, and it'll come out at the end of the season. I love that.

Speaker 10 That's come out at the beginning of next season. Right.
Because that's what the Jets did. It took a whole goddamn year to put this thing together.
What are you doing over there?

Speaker 10 Aaron Rodgers complaining about the new helmet he has to wear after the league deemed his old helmet didn't meet safety standards. You know what he's doing, right?

Speaker 10 Setting up those excuses ahead of time.

Speaker 10 The guy's a mass excuse maker. Come on, guys.

Speaker 10 Oh, it's the helmet. Oh, I didn't have enough helper.
Oh, it's always something with this guy. It's never, I wasn't good enough.

Speaker 10 Paramount plus

Speaker 10 securing the rights to UFC

Speaker 10 me clicking on Lioness for Zoe Saldana

Speaker 10 and getting Amanda Nunes instead.

Speaker 10 Legend Course.

Speaker 15 Good one.

Speaker 10 I wrote that one for you.

Speaker 10 Tom Brady statue.

Speaker 10 Looking more like Tom Brady

Speaker 10 than Tom Brady.

Speaker 10 It's like seeing the jerkbait logo. Wait a second.

Speaker 10 I already used that punchline. Yeah, you did.

Speaker 10 My fault. All right.
The Marlins.

Speaker 10 Shit the bed.

Speaker 10 As soon as Tashay started hyping them up, congratulations.

Speaker 10 You ruined it. Yeah, that's fair.
Texas.

Speaker 10 Texas opening up at number one and having to face Ohio State in week one

Speaker 10 doesn't seem fair. Also, how's a defending champ not number one?

Speaker 10 Like, they're good enough for you to rank them two or three, depending on who you ask, but not good enough to be number one. They won it.

Speaker 10 The team that they're playing week one is a team that they beat en route to that championship. How are they not number one? Does anyone have an explanation for it? I'm actually asking.

Speaker 10 This isn't part of the notes.

Speaker 15 I mean, Texas had a really good offseason.

Speaker 15 Hey, they acquired a lot of talent.

Speaker 4 And they got Arch Manning.

Speaker 10 Yeah,

Speaker 10 depending champs, man. They used to mean something.

Speaker 15 I'm with you, though.

Speaker 10 Pablo Torre,

Speaker 10 Katie Nolan,

Speaker 10 and the third gentleman whose name escapes me.

Speaker 10 Discovering in 2025

Speaker 10 the existence of Deaf Comedy Jam icon, Alonzo Jones.

Speaker 10 How?

Speaker 10 The episode, the episode should have been called

Speaker 10 Pablo Torrey finds out about black people.

Speaker 10 Hamburger.

Speaker 10 Wick Grossbeck

Speaker 10 thinking he could sell the Celtics for six billion

Speaker 10 and still remain in charge for a couple of years.

Speaker 11 When are they gonna be?

Speaker 10 I know, it's like clicking on the jerkmate. Wait, hold on.
How many of you do I have in here?

Speaker 11 Have you ever heard of

Speaker 10 Jerkmate?

Speaker 10 Metal Arc Media

Speaker 10 dropping a Taurasi documentary that didn't talk to the one MetalArc Media employee

Speaker 10 who not only worked with Taurasi but helped her win her first WNBA title.

Speaker 10 The hell are we doing?

Speaker 10 Speaking of hell,

Speaker 10 Art Bryles, those are the weekend observations.

Speaker 4 Very good. Good job, Amin.

Speaker 10 I tried.

Speaker 15 Folks, the leaves are turning. The weather's getting a little chillier.
That means the football games are more important.

Speaker 11 That means football time should be Miller time.

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Speaker 15 So whatever your game day looks like, remember Miller time is always a good time. Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.
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Speaker 2 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 15 You're getting started on the breakfast flant.

Speaker 5 Oh man, I've been singing a song to myself all morning long. Breakfast flanta no no no.

Speaker 7 Stugats.

Speaker 15 Have you never heard the breakfast flawn song?

Speaker 12 Hit me by that. Okay.

Speaker 5 I wish I had some breakfast flant.

Speaker 22 Breakfast flant.

Speaker 22 Where can I find a breakfast like that?

Speaker 7 This is the Don Lebatar Show with these two guys.

Speaker 4 When are these NBA governors gonna learn? Like, Wick Rosbeck, who, you know, I guess, you know, previously owned the Celtics, they're not gonna own them anymore. They're selling the team.

Speaker 4 He thought he was going to stay on as the governor the same way like Mark Cuban thought he was selling the team and he's going to still be like you don't get to sell the team and still be in charge when are they going to learn

Speaker 10 it's so funny because

Speaker 10 um like like you said mark cuban has that we're dealing with the same thing with the lakers sales saying genie bust is still going to be the governor and the thing i keep saying is imagine selling your car and then telling the guy who bought the car oh by the way I still get to drive it.

Speaker 10 It's still my car. You're paying for it, though.
And in a couple of years, eventually you get to drive it.

Speaker 4 Like, it seems like something, if the guy buys a team for a cup, for a few billion dollars, probably wants to be in control.

Speaker 10 They bought the team because they want the toy. They want to play with the toy.
They didn't buy the toy so that someone else could play with it. And then they just say, oh, well, I own it.
That's not.

Speaker 10 You don't buy a sports team. For like the investment.

Speaker 10 I mean, sure, it's a good investment long term, but you buy a sports team because you're into the sport and you want to be able to say, yeah, I know Jason Tatum and he comes to my parties all the time.

Speaker 10 And, ooh, I sit courtside and people come up to me and I'm an important person.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 without the ability to plague basically God and say, I'm going to trade him, I'm going to sign him. I'm going to fire him.
Then you're just a guy on the sideline. People say,

Speaker 10 you're not the owner. I know who the owner owner is.
Jeannie Buss. Look at her.
She's over there at the press conference. Dude.
It doesn't work this way.

Speaker 10 These people don't spend this money to not control the team.

Speaker 17 Yeah, but I feel like a former owner, a former prominent owner, like a Mark Cuban, assumes sort of an emeritus position, at least publicly.

Speaker 15 Like, he's still allowed to go to the game.

Speaker 17 They're still going to show him in the stands. They're still going to come to him for comments when his former team makes a big trade.

Speaker 4 But he's not at that board of governors meeting anymore. No, but

Speaker 17 I find that normal, though, that a former owner would still want some of that spotlight to linger even after he sells the team.

Speaker 10 Greg, it's not so much about the spotlight, It's about the power. The governor is the one who votes at the board of governors meetings.
The governor is the one that is on the committees, right?

Speaker 10 These are the people who are shaping how basketball kind of works as a business moving forward.

Speaker 10 And the idea that I would cede that control to someone else, basically for someone else to speak on behalf of a team, not in the court of public opinion, but in the real places where power is heard and listened to,

Speaker 10 that's kind of ridiculous. Yeah, you want to, what? You want to come to games? Come to games.
You want people to shake your hands, say, thank you for the championships? That's fine.

Speaker 10 What you can't do is say, and the Celtics think we should do this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's my job now. I bought the team.

Speaker 17 Right, but you can have an opinion.

Speaker 23 Like, I agree with you.

Speaker 17 You shouldn't be on the board of governors if you no longer have that power.

Speaker 17 But the former owner carries little weight in terms of opinion, particularly if it's an owner who was respected like Mark Cuban was.

Speaker 4 I mean, I got some some audio that we want to play for you here. All right.
Michael Porter Jr.

Speaker 4 Now, he's going to play for the Brooklyn Nets this coming season, but his brother doesn't play anywhere anymore. All right.
His brother is in big trouble.

Speaker 4 He had the gambling and the prop bets and, you know, the under, and he got in a lot of trouble. Not good.

Speaker 4 And his brother, Michael Porter Jr., was on a show called One Night Steiny.

Speaker 2 All right. One Night with Steiny.

Speaker 4 One Night with Steiny.

Speaker 21 One Night in Steiny.

Speaker 3 I told you, Craig.

Speaker 4 It's one night with Steiny. So here is Michael Porter Jr., I mean, let's give this a listen, where

Speaker 4 he's probably talking about things that he in particular should not be talking about.

Speaker 18 Think about if you could get all your homies rich by telling them, yo,

Speaker 18 bet $10,000 on my under, you know, this one game, I'm going to act like I got an injury, and

Speaker 18 I'm going to sit out, I'm going to come out after three minutes, and they all get a little bad because you did it one game. Like, that is so not okay.
But some people probably think like that.

Speaker 18 They come from nothing and all their homies have nothing.

Speaker 18 And they're like, bro,

Speaker 18 if I come out of this game after three minutes and y'all all hit on my under, we're all getting a little bag.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 23 And

Speaker 18 obviously my brother went through his situation.

Speaker 18 You know, Malik Beasley's going through a situation right now. Terry Rozier was in some hot water.

Speaker 4 How did Michael Porter Jr. wake up one morning and said, you know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to say all of that out loud.

Speaker 10 See, Zaz, your your mind went to Michael Porter Jr.'s morning. My mind went to Steiny's morning, where it's like, oh, yeah, we got Michael Porter Jr.
on today.

Speaker 10 Oh, maybe we'll talk about something interesting. Oh, these guys got traded, whatever.
Okay, we'll ask him.

Speaker 10 I'll get to the topic of gambling. It's like, oh, he's probably going to be real coy around this.
His brother's still dealing with the federal investigation and stuff. He's banned from the NBA.

Speaker 10 Probably, but we have to ask. This is a journalistic outfit.
I got to ask. And then he could shoot me down.
It's up to him. And he asked the question, and Michael Porter Jr.

Speaker 10 starts detailing how to run a successful gambling operation here.

Speaker 10 And the sound you hear, if you turn the volume up really, really loud, I'm not saying let's replay it now, but you can rewind in the podcast. Turn it up really loud.

Speaker 10 When you hear him say, oh, all my homies a bag, you can hear of Steiny's dick hitting the bottom of the desk. Because you're like, oh, shit, he said it.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 10 And you guys didn't play this part, but he goes on, Michael Porter Jr. does, to to say, we all had our struggles in life.
My brother struggled all the time with gambling and money.

Speaker 10 That's why God didn't give him money. He's like, me,

Speaker 10 my advice was women. I had women everywhere.
My brother didn't have it.

Speaker 10 So for me, I don't have a wife. And shout out to Behan from Club 520, because he said, he's like, he basically said, my brother never got b, but I got, man, I was swimming in it.

Speaker 10 Basically, it was the messaging by Michael Porter Jr. there.
But it's just, it's fascinating. And one final shout out to Steiny.
If you listen to him. Wait.

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 15 I want to break in really quick.

Speaker 15 This is Steiny from the Nelk Boys, correct?

Speaker 3 Wait.

Speaker 20 Steiny, the one that interviewed Ned and Yahoo.

Speaker 6 I thought this was Willie Colli Stein.

Speaker 10 Oh, I thought that was Mark Stein.

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 10 What do you put it was Mark Stein? It's actually Einstein.

Speaker 10 Here's the thing. My dick is really hard talking about gambling.

Speaker 11 Clear eye.

Speaker 3 Why do you sound like Shock G?

Speaker 3 Rest in peace.

Speaker 10 I once got busy in a Birth King bathroom.

Speaker 14 That's pretty good.

Speaker 10 Right there in brickle.

Speaker 10 That's the one he's talking about.

Speaker 15 The one that the holdover from the 1980s design.

Speaker 10 But yeah, like that. You hear him just give them hyping him up the whole time.
100%. Yeah, absolutely.
Like, no, not 100% siding.

Speaker 4 I mean, I mean, the next time that someone on one of these shows disagrees with or pushes back against the athlete that's on their show will be the very first time that's ever happened.

Speaker 10 All I'm wondering is why we didn't get Michael Porter Jr. This could have been our school.
This could have been our get. We could have been asking all the look, think of another ridiculous question.

Speaker 10 I'm just saying, think of all the ridiculous questions that Chris Cody has asked in interviews over the years, right? Like, why would you ask that? Like, Michael Porter Jr.

Speaker 10 would be the one where it's like, yeah, we're getting an actual answer here.

Speaker 4 I just don't understand how, like, do you think there's a moment after that sit-down that he says to himself,

Speaker 4 you know, it probably shouldn't have been as forthcoming as it was, you know, detailing how we could scam

Speaker 4 gambling sites, you know, and considering my brother is at the center of it.

Speaker 17 But he did have the lame little disclaimer at the first when he said something like, we all know this is wrong, but, and then he details all that. It was totally incriminating.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you know, it's to answer your question is to ask, no, I think he walked on, that's pretty good.

Speaker 10 And someone said, hey, man, you don't think we should ask them to cut out the the part where you're talking about gambling

Speaker 10 no no i i put the disclaimer say no we all know it's wrong we're good it's like the it's like the regular speculation sounder right you play like you're good you can say whatever you want after that yo i mean how excited are you about nba schedule release tomorrow big day

Speaker 14 stupid stupid

Speaker 10 the only people who should care obviously the teams right

Speaker 10 the the media people who have to travel to if you're if you're for instance if you're jason jackson voice of the Miami Heat, he's got to figure out what city he's going to be in at any given moment.

Speaker 10 If you're a beat writer, you know, if you're Ira Winderman, yeah, I got to figure out which one of these flights I got to start booking hotels now, right? But fans,

Speaker 10 who cares, man?

Speaker 10 You're going to find out when you find out. You'll find out like, hey, this week, oh, the Lakers are playing against the Mavericks.
Oh, I better tune into that one. Right.

Speaker 10 But you don't need to know in August. And the reason why we do this is because the NFL does this.
And the NFL does this because there's only 17 games. People do travel for road games a lot.

Speaker 10 And they have to book flights in hotels. And that's kind of a part of the NFL culture.
And so they've made a big deal out of it. And every team has its schedule release, little video and stuff.

Speaker 10 But the NBA, man, it's a different product. It's like trying to sell Coca-Cola the way Hyundai sells cars.
Like, no, we don't have the same approach because we're not selling the same product. Dumb.

Speaker 10 Having said that, Christmas Day, no Eastern Conference games other than the first one. You know what that means?

Speaker 10 It means put the kids to bed right after the Eastern Conference is over.

Speaker 10 No? Okay. So at two o'clock,

Speaker 3 after Cavs Knicks were putting the kids to bed on Christmas Day?

Speaker 10 You guys just sat there and just like, oh, that was good.

Speaker 9 Not a lot of buying that.

Speaker 2 That was Jeremy level buy-in. What do you think?

Speaker 15 That's very true.

Speaker 11 What do you think your family? You think your family?

Speaker 15 What do you think of the

Speaker 15 theory that we made earlier this morning that the NBA game should start at the crack of dawn? You have jazz wizards just on the TV as you're opening up presents.

Speaker 15 Just make it a 24-hour hostile takeover.

Speaker 10 I'm with it. I'm with it.
And I think that should be, everyone's like, how do you punish teams for tanking? How do you punish teams for being bad? We should take away their picks. We should do it.

Speaker 10 No, no, no, no. You make them play Christmas morning, 6 a.m.

Speaker 10 You want to be bad now? See, that gives you incentive. Everyone's like, I'm not trying to be one of the worst teams next year.
They're going to start winning games, and that's how you cure tanking.

Speaker 4 I mean, you may have heard yesterday, I was dealing with a situation at home. I have a high school kid, and I was dealing with a very unpleasant situation as a parent.
You got something going on too.

Speaker 10 Yeah, no, first of all, your situation was ridiculous, man.

Speaker 10 The kid's mad, the kid was mad that his mom, White Tam, put limits on his phone. Was that the impetus of like? Well, no,

Speaker 4 we did that in response to what we were not happy with him about.

Speaker 10 Yeah. What were you not happy about him?

Speaker 4 Just his attitude. Like, he's moody.

Speaker 15 Moody teenager. Moody.

Speaker 10 Yeah. My thing is this, fix your face.

Speaker 10 You know what? Just fix your face. Get out of here.
And the idea that you allow him, like, you can leave. Does he pay the car note on the car?

Speaker 4 He actually does make payments.

Speaker 10 Does he pay the car note? Not does he contribute to the car note. Does he make the car note?

Speaker 4 I don't know what that means.

Speaker 3 How does he make the payments? Illegal gambling? With this or the poker game that he's on?

Speaker 11 No, he works at the job.

Speaker 19 What's his job? He works at a card store.

Speaker 10 Nice. A card store?

Speaker 4 Yeah, trading card store.

Speaker 19 Yeah, they can do that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. 16-year-olds can work.

Speaker 4 Well, he's responsible in that fashion, and we make him pay.

Speaker 3 He pays, he makes the payments.

Speaker 10 What about the insurance? That's true.

Speaker 3 We pay the insurance.

Speaker 8 Cell phone, okay, there you go.

Speaker 11 Yeah, we pay that.

Speaker 10 Yeah, there you go, buddy. You gotta leave all that stuff behind.
You can leave.

Speaker 10 You're gonna leave this property right here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's a good material.

Speaker 10 I'm not insuring something that you're just driving around. You're mad at me about.
Oh, I'm angry. I'm emotional.
I'm on a...

Speaker 10 Be emotional on your feet.

Speaker 10 Walk it out.

Speaker 3 Got to be honest. Get a bike.

Speaker 15 Him making car payments. It changes the whole dynamic.

Speaker 11 It's not cheap to car payments.

Speaker 3 I'm kind of with this kid.

Speaker 15 This kid needs, like, I can pay my car, but I can't go watch the Arab fighters in Chicago. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't get that whatsoever.

Speaker 20 Shut up, parents.

Speaker 4 I'm with him. Loves the Arab fighters.

Speaker 10 The issue I'm dealing with, Zaz, is my child is a sophomore, and we just had curriculum night the the other night, and that's where you go to all the classes and you meet the teachers, and they're talking about this, that, and the other.

Speaker 10 And I'm beginning to realize, I don't even remember how I took classes in high school. I just showed up, and this was my schedule, and we did it.
And these kids now, they got to pick.

Speaker 10 You got to pick, are you going to do AP world history? If you do, you do AP US history and then take AP. And I'm like, oh my God, how many AP courses do you take?

Speaker 10 And I'm looking online and I say, well, the really good schools want you to take at least seven. So now we got to figure out, okay, these are the AP courses you got to take.

Speaker 10 But you can't take these AP courses without these pre-recs here, honors this and honors that.

Speaker 10 I'm sitting here, I'm like, my head is spinning at how much I got to do to make sure my kid can get into college.

Speaker 10 And I go back to what I was doing, and I literally just showed up and they handed me a schedule.

Speaker 4 I don't think that's true, man. Like, I remember on the

Speaker 4 last day of school, you would have to fill some kind of format, format out, format, which you would tell them the classes that you want for the next year don't remember any of that don't remember any of that i just remember showing up and like here's your schedule i just i don't and

Speaker 10 the idea that now the picking of the classes as a sophomore can have an impact on where you go to college

Speaker 10 what are we doing yeah man I thought senior year now we're like, oh shit, we got to get ready for college.

Speaker 4 Senior year is like the least important of all.

Speaker 1 Everyone knows your junior year is the big year.

Speaker 3 Junior year is the big year for everything.

Speaker 4 Senior year ain't shit, man.

Speaker 10 For real?

Speaker 10 Has it always been like that?

Speaker 1 Well, the applications go out before senior year. So it's really based off what you've done in your junior year, and they'll keep monitoring the transcripts come your sync.

Speaker 11 I mean, you're hardly in school, my senior year.

Speaker 1 Why do you have to have some of those APs on the schedule?

Speaker 3 That early release. Junior.
I did the seven APs.

Speaker 15 You're applying to classes and some fingering.

Speaker 10 Jeremy, you did seven AP classes and went to UCF.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man. I got into Chapel Hill.
I just didn't want to take out loans.

Speaker 14 Wow.

Speaker 24 Chapel loans.

Speaker 1 All that work for nothing.

Speaker 2 Wow. Chapel loans.

Speaker 20 Oh, look what he's done.

Speaker 9 I like that.

Speaker 10 Now I got them. Now I got them on my side.

Speaker 10 Here we go. Chapel Roan.
Hey, by the way, Tony, I wanted to talk to you about hard knocks, man.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 10 Big thing about hard knocks. First of all, Greg, you're absolutely wrong.
Everyone loves hard knocks. You're the only one on this island.
But, but

Speaker 10 the quality has dipped. The quality has dipped.
I say this because the biggest thing about every season of hard knocks is always what?

Speaker 10 The first intro to episode one.

Speaker 20 That's thank you.

Speaker 10 Dude. Right? That's where they get you like.

Speaker 4 You better give me some sprinklers.

Speaker 6 This year was so bad.

Speaker 10 The worst one. The best one ever.
The best one ever was, and look, I'm not endorsing the man.

Speaker 10 I'm just saying it was a hell of an intro to their season of hard knocks, was the Raiders with John Gruden.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Where he says, everyone's got a dream.

Speaker 10 I dream about playing in the NFL. I dream about doing this.
He's like, I'm not in the dreams anymore. I'm in the nightmares.

Speaker 23 Dude, he's electric.

Speaker 6 I loved that. The first he does that speech.
Like, every college program has put out him giving that speech now.

Speaker 16 So I'm a little over that speech.

Speaker 15 He did it to Georgia just.

Speaker 16 But it does slap. The first time you hear it on Hard Knocks, it did slap.

Speaker 11 I'm in a fight.

Speaker 10 Because you know what? Walk on the wood if you're here with me.

Speaker 4 Was that Gruden or Jack Nicholson?

Speaker 2 Nightmares, lamb.

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Speaker 2 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 11 What do I got here?

Speaker 17 I got a magnum condom.

Speaker 17 Um,

Speaker 6 we won't get that out.

Speaker 9 That's shocking.

Speaker 15 Stugats. Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

Speaker 2 Right next to the condom. Yeah,

Speaker 3 never forget it.

Speaker 7 This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Speaker 14 His son's the coach on the Raiders

Speaker 10 like he didn't he didn't sell any emails

Speaker 6 but just won some some some lawsuit.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he's gonna get his day in court. Actually, he's not because the NFL does not want to go to Discovery.

Speaker 23 So crush him. Congratulations.
That was nickel.

Speaker 10 But when he drops that, I'm into nightmares, that's where they drop the first notes of the music.

Speaker 10 They do that.

Speaker 10 And then it builds a little bit.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's it's so good.

Speaker 10 All right, let's watch no hard knocks. This year's like,

Speaker 10 sit down, hey, get miced up. Oh, I'm getting married too.

Speaker 10 I don't care, producer man, right?

Speaker 2 The worst one ever.

Speaker 6 It was the worst intro to hard knocks ever. It was just him sitting down.
Oh, I'm getting mic'd up.

Speaker 11 Okay, let's do this. Right.

Speaker 10 Oh, and the producer saying, Oh, oh, you got married. Congratulations.
I'm getting married too. Like, I don't care.
Way to make it about you, producer man.

Speaker 4 A great point.

Speaker 23 It was really bad. Ridiculous.

Speaker 10 Other notes about hard knocks. This is year what?

Speaker 10 27?

Speaker 10 Maybe, no, 30, 30 of hard knocks. Still can't get the closed captioning.
Year 40 of hard knocks. I did 50.

Speaker 10 50 of hard knocks. Keep going.

Speaker 10 Do I hear 51?

Speaker 10 Still can't get the closed captioning right.

Speaker 10 I got to deal with closed captioning that A is like on a 30-second delay.

Speaker 2 I never know.

Speaker 11 He's right about that.

Speaker 6 I never know if that's the show's fault. Is that my fault?

Speaker 16 I never know if that's right.

Speaker 10 That's the show's fault. That's the show's fault.

Speaker 8 It could be like internet. I know it's not my fault.

Speaker 10 No, no, it's, it's, so typically live events do have a little bit of a delay. You guys had a whole goddamn week, man, to sync this shit up.
Number one. Number two,

Speaker 10 most shows are smart enough that if there's text on the screen, like for instance, who this rookie unsigned undrafted free agent is, will put the captions up.

Speaker 10 when you know away from where that text is not hard knocks they slap that shit right over and i'm like I don't know who this is now. I just got to go for context clues.

Speaker 3 It's Buffalo Joe. Who the hell is that? Yeah.

Speaker 10 All right. Number three.

Speaker 10 Greg McDermott was wearing a t-shirt that said playoff caliber.

Speaker 15 Sean McDermott. Is that a brother that's on the staff?

Speaker 2 Is this nepotism? Who's Greg McDermott?

Speaker 10 Sean McDermott. Oh, he's the

Speaker 3 dude,

Speaker 15 the jihad guy.

Speaker 11 Got it.

Speaker 11 Yep.

Speaker 17 Dumb t-shirt. He had the

Speaker 10 playoff caliber? That's what they got in Buffalo?

Speaker 10 Like, way to set your expectations super low.

Speaker 11 This is

Speaker 15 if they don't do it this time, Mike McCarthy vibes off of McDermott.

Speaker 4 I think McDermott's on a hot seat. I do.
Nobody says that.

Speaker 15 I don't know if they did drastic enough moves. They got Bosa in there.
That's fine. But yes, if they fail yet again.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 15 And it's really unfair because Josh Allen, you could make an argument Josh Allen might be the second greatest quarterback of all time, but we don't know it because he's playing.

Speaker 15 It keeps running into the greatest quarterback of all time.

Speaker 15 They got to change it up if they lose to this team again.

Speaker 4 And the easiest thing to change is the coach.

Speaker 15 I totally think he's on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 Something about these Mick coaches, huh?

Speaker 3 Has there ever been a good Mike McDaniel?

Speaker 16 Whoa, am I stepping on something? Yeah, you did.

Speaker 3 Of all people.

Speaker 14 If you think your family, if you think your family

Speaker 11 would

Speaker 15 accept you saying a common slur about

Speaker 1 fair enough.

Speaker 11 If you think you're Northern Europeans.

Speaker 10 Yeah, the boys. MMC.

Speaker 6 You meant the MC.

Speaker 1 Something about these MC coaches.

Speaker 9 Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 2 Mike Daniel.

Speaker 3 Is that a generational divide?

Speaker 15 Did you not know?

Speaker 8 Man, I didn't even know that one. I was with him.

Speaker 6 I thought good topic.

Speaker 11 Yeah, no.

Speaker 3 Well, it's been bleeped.

Speaker 15 You're not going to believe this. In America, still a good take.
They had an attitude towards immigrants way back when.

Speaker 16 Let's get back to his topic.

Speaker 6 Are there any examples of good coaches who start with our MC?

Speaker 15 Let's do the racist one that Jeremy wanted. It could actually be worse if you bleep it, by the way.

Speaker 6 Mike McCarthy, bad.

Speaker 16 Mike McDaniel, hot seat.

Speaker 6 Sean McDermott, hot seat. Josh McDaniel, hasn't worked out.
Give me a good MC.

Speaker 17 It was a good one. Don McShula.

Speaker 6 It was a great topic.

Speaker 16 Greg's right. He's right about the word.

Speaker 16 It's all right.

Speaker 1 You didn't know. The McGoat.

Speaker 6 You didn't know.

Speaker 3 I really had no idea.

Speaker 6 Don. That one's on me.

Speaker 3 I'm going to Google it.

Speaker 11 McSchula.

Speaker 10 That's right.

Speaker 10 Jeremy. Somewhere Myers Leonard is like, aha, see? It's not so easy, is it?

Speaker 1 Ron McDonald's, Greg.

Speaker 11 He's fine, by by the way. There you go.

Speaker 4 I mean, you got anything else from hard knocks?

Speaker 10 From hard knocks, yeah.

Speaker 10 Drifting with a kid in the passenger seat.

Speaker 15 That is crazy.

Speaker 11 Drifting with a five-kill.

Speaker 3 It can't be legal.

Speaker 23 Dude, and the helmet doesn't even fit.

Speaker 10 Fuck the helmet. The child is not big enough to sit in the front seat of a minivan, let alone a car that's drifting.

Speaker 10 And I thought it was going to be like, I saw the chorus and I was like, okay, so they've got cones and stuff. So he'll drive out to the middle and then he'll start drifting there.
Nope.

Speaker 10 He starts drifting right around the corner of that building immediately. And I'm like, oh, this, this is CPS waiting to happen.

Speaker 10 I haven't checked Twitter, but I have to imagine people lost their minds.

Speaker 6 What do you think the Bills hate more?

Speaker 23 The, what is it?

Speaker 6 The driving recklessly or the guy like wrangling snakes? Like, what are they, like, they don't have contracts where they're like, hey, you can't do dangerous shit.

Speaker 6 In the first episode, there were multiple players.

Speaker 11 Yeah, but dangerous shit.

Speaker 15 The AJF and Essa doing the python hunting, that's not that bad because the pythons are

Speaker 15 not venomous.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 15 For that to come around and choke you, like you're, you're doing something stupid.

Speaker 6 I just feel like the Bills can't love that.

Speaker 10 I can't love the dude drifting with a child in the car.

Speaker 23 This is first episode.

Speaker 16 Two guys on their off day are doing insanely reckless things.

Speaker 10 My favorite thing is not only is there a child, but it's like, it's not like, oh, bless his heart, Junior loves drifting. We do it, whatever.

Speaker 10 It's like all of them, all three of them, like, hey, daddy,

Speaker 6 it's proof that kids will follow you anywhere.

Speaker 3 Like, it's like, hey, let's go do this insanely dangerous thing.

Speaker 6 Like, yeah, dad.

Speaker 10 Mike, Mike, not on a company laptop, man. Not on a company laptop.

Speaker 6 Nah, that's on me.

Speaker 1 My bad. Ball off me, coach.

Speaker 10 Oh, man. Yeah, you're fired.

Speaker 17 Okay, Amin, I want to say one thing in rebuttal to Hard Knox, and I know I'm in a room full of hard knocks lovers right now. I want to speak for the rest of America, okay?

Speaker 24 Right now, people who live in Buffalo are loving this hard knocks.

Speaker 17 People who live in the 31 other NFL cities are either yawning or switching over to a honeymooners rerun. They don't care.

Speaker 10 Why?

Speaker 17 Why would people care about watching the inner workings of another team that isn't theirs?

Speaker 15 I just don't get it.

Speaker 10 Greg, I can only speak for myself. I love hard knocks because it makes me care about teams I don't care about and it makes me care about players I don't care about.

Speaker 10 Like there, whenever I see a guy who like I saw from hard knocks, and obviously not like Josh Allen, clearly everyone knows who that is, but like one of those no-name guys.

Speaker 10 And then like three years later, he's in the NFL somewhere else. I'm like, that's the dude.
I still to this day, I remember John Connor from the Jets Hard Knocks.

Speaker 10 They're like, oh, that's the Terminator. They called him the Terminator.
He's a little fullback. And like for years after that, whenever I saw him, like, oh, it's Terminator, man.
I don't know.

Speaker 10 It makes.

Speaker 4 That ultimate guy was 7-Eleven, right?

Speaker 10 7-Eleven. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Chris Hogan.

Speaker 1 Darren Waller was that guy for a lot of people, right?

Speaker 9 Darren Waller.

Speaker 23 Yeah, Yeah, we're like, oh, man, I have a fantasy draft.

Speaker 20 Like, oh, who's that tight end on the Raiders? I keep seeing on Hardnock. Let me take a flyer and him.

Speaker 11 Like, oh, wow, this worked out.

Speaker 15 I'm dating myself, but Bobby Scipio with the Kansas City Chiefs back in the day.

Speaker 11 What a story.

Speaker 10 I'm telling you, like,

Speaker 10 it really does a great job. The hard knock says, Greg, earlier, you're like, oh, I feel like it's edited.
Of course it's edited. This is a big commercial for the NFL.

Speaker 10 It's not meant to be revelatory at all. It's not a documentary.
It is a great marketing tool for the NFL.

Speaker 10 It makes you fall in love with characters and people in a a way in the league that doesn't really tend to market that way. They market the shield, they market the teams, but this show makes you care.

Speaker 10 It shows that, yeah, I can care about things NFL related if I got to know the people behind the masks.

Speaker 6 I mean, before we let you go, you got a movie of the week for us?

Speaker 10 Yes, movie of the week. This is on Cinephobe.
It drops tomorrow. Today, if you're a Patreon member,

Speaker 10 countthethings.com slash

Speaker 10 no, patreon.com slash count the things.

Speaker 4 There you go. That wasn't we got there.

Speaker 10 All right, we can do that again three two one patreon comm slash count the things you're a patreon member the episode comes out today Jurassic Park 3

Speaker 10 Yes, this is the sequel that didn't have didn't have my man Jeff Goldblum, but brought back Sam Neal who was not in Jurassic Park 2 and so me Zach and Mays we

Speaker 10 Pull it apart and look around and see if this was really deserved to be an under 40% movie or maybe didn't get a fair shake. Did you know that Zaz at Jurassic Park 3? Poor critic reviews?

Speaker 4 I definitely knew that. I don't think I've seen Jurassic Park 3 because it was received so poorly.

Speaker 15 Oh, you haven't seen that Spinosaurus? Oh, dude, this is the one where they decide T-Rex's not doing it for the franchise anymore. Let's upscale.
I don't think I saw that.

Speaker 10 I don't know that foolish. That's where that started.

Speaker 21 I don't know that fool.

Speaker 10 Like, if you watch the Jurassic World movies, it's all about like, oh, these bigger, batter dinosaurs, like the raptors and the T-Rex weren't enough.

Speaker 10 That started in Jurassic Park 3, where they started trying to like branch out and let us know that there's some other things that are more scary than the T-Rex, which is kind of ridiculous.

Speaker 10 But also, it is the movie that gave us one of the most famous lines in Jurassic Park world history. Go on.
Mike, can you recite it?

Speaker 11 We're going to need a bigger boat.

Speaker 10 Close enough. Very close.
Very close.

Speaker 10 It's a birdcage.

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That means the football games are more important.

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