The Big Suey: Dos at CVS

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So there was a female umpire this weekend.

How about that?

Marlins and Braves.

Marlins lost four out of five.

That's right.

They played five games this weekend.

Marlins and Braves, they lost four out of five.

They're done.

They're done with it.

Billy, I'm sorry.

Marlins.

It's a nice run.

Someone out here said probably accurately, they did their job.

They got us to football season.

The sentence was, they did their job.

They got us from the Panthers to the Dolphins.

That's a crazy sentence.

But that's what they did.

They got us through football season.

Is it still a crazy sentence?

The Marlins have been in three straight Stanley Cup finals.

Like, I don't know that it's a crazy sentence.

The Marlins being in three would be crazy.

Why would the Marlins ever go to three straight Stanley Cup finals?

I don't know.

I don't know.

But had they, it'd be wild.

It's not that crazy a thing to say.

I'm hosting a hockey game next year.

Did you see what the internet was having fun with on Saturday?

She does her first home plate game.

She did the, I believe Friday, she did first base.

Saturday, first home plate game.

First pitch.

You see it being put out.

Here she is, the first pitch with a woman behind the plate.

It was a ball.

She called it a strike.

There you go.

I wasn't even close to the strike.

Which is not an indictment on her.

She was doing Eric Reggie impersonation?

This is not an indictment on her.

Men have been missing these calls for years.

Decades.

It was a a good frame, John.

It was a good frame.

It didn't go well because the commentary was like, historic moment.

This is a ball that's going to go to Cooperstown.

And then it was like a miss.

And then

all the comments were calling her Angela, her nanny.

That's good.

That's good.

But this is not an indictment on her.

What we should have been celebrating this weekend is the first robot umpire.

Okay, where we this doesn't happen anymore, but we're about 25 years behind.

That's baseball.

We're going to do women first, and then we'll celebrate robots in a couple years.

What we should not have been celebrating was MLB for quote-unquote breaking the gender barrier.

It's about time.

The NBA had a female referee 28 years ago.

The NFL has had female referees or officials for 10 years.

MLB is just catching up.

Well, that's the thing that my first thought when I saw the story was...

I thought we did this already.

I thought baseball already had women umpires, but I guess we didn't.

My question on the first pitch.

don't those types of historic moments, aren't they always supposed to be strikes, right?

Like the first pitch for a team like Charlie Huff, right?

Charlie Huff, that pitch was

supposed to have a pitcher groove that thing in there, and of course, the um calls a strike.

I think that's what that was.

She's saying anything close.

She's like, if it's close, it's a strike.

But it wasn't close.

Don't slip.

Boy, it was close.

It's going to be a strike.

And he was just slightly off the plate.

That was a tough pitch to call.

We can all agree.

I'm not criticizing.

A lot of umpires missed that call.

Whatever happened to the days of the umpire dictates their strike zone for the game yeah

every umpire has a different strike zone i i don't like the the square that's superimposed i like it if they're gonna use it i hate it where it doesn't mean anything it doesn't it's just showing me a box that doesn't mean anything they don't see it chris no i know it's not they can't use it they're calling it as they see it the league could the league could be using the box i fell out of touch with the sport before this box was a thing and i remember baked into the sport was so-and-so is behind home plate today, usually goes with a larger strike.

This guy's got a wide zone.

This guy's got a high zone.

Woven into the fabric of the game was like, ah, this guy calls the game a little bit different.

You got to adjust.

I didn't want to know pitch by pitch how off or how accurate they were.

Like if it's if it's a Marlin that's striking out looking, I'm like, that's inside.

That's not a strike.

Then when the square is there and they're like, oh, that was a strike.

I'm like, no, I wasn't.

No, I don't want to see that.

And then you look at the square itself, Greg, it doesn't look like it gets to all the edges.

it looks like it's visually tricking me so that if something's outside of the box on tv it could still be in what i consider the strike zone well it like baseball also is not head-on usually center field it's you know slightly off so right which if i would

i would expand the strike zone if if i were an umpire i would call almost everything a strike unless it's in the dirt or unless it brushes you back.

I would say to the bat.

So you'd be a little league umpire.

Yeah, get that bat off your shoulder.

I would say swing swing the bat.

I would say that to every ballplayer who stepped into

my

plate.

Bring it.

You know, I'm going to call strikes.

Swing that bat, Jack.

You know, that's what I would say.

Did you ever umpire?

Like youth?

I have.

And would you say that to the kids?

Would you let them know, hey, I'm calling it today?

You know, I let the coaches know.

I just lied.

I like a big strike.

Strike zone.

You used to umpire?

Maybe I was thinking of you.

Yeah, like you used to call my balls and strikes like out in the front yard.

Right.

He owned the story.

Okay, so hold on a second.

Let's revisit this for a second.

Not only was Greg, if you want to say he misremembered, lied, misremembered, whatever, but he also imagined a scenario where he told the coaches before the game.

I'm, you know, let's say the bad.

It's a hypothetical.

I played travel.

You're thinking of like my games where you would hear that said.

Right.

You've heard that said.

You didn't say it as an umpire.

I'm starting to wonder if you ever spoke of of Tim Bowens.

Yeah, because in Greg's mind, clearly he's imagining being this umpire.

You thought you saw the will.

Somewhere as time passed, he thought it ended up being a true story.

And now he's like, wait a second, I never umpired.

That's true.

Yeah, but you umpired.

I did.

Yeah.

And would you tell the coaches, hey.

I know, in my dad's defense, yes, to little league kids at the beginning.

I'm like, if it's close, it's a strike.

Like, let's go.

We're up here to hit, not one.

Yes, thank you.

But that's a clear little league thing that you don't do in the majors because the majors are the majors.

Okay, if I was an umpire, I would take it upon myself to speed up the game.

Like, I would want at-bats to go very quickly.

You're getting hot again.

You're getting sweaty?

Yeah.

Oh, now both of his lenses are fogging up.

You know what I need?

I need one of those things that are made to defog glasses.

You know, I don't know what the product is called.

You're getting warped up in here.

Well, plus, I got a long-sleeved shirt.

I got a t-shirt on a bad arm week.

And also, it's perpetually warm in here.

Like, I don't think the Levatard show is paying the rent.

I don't think they.

We are, I can assure you.

I would say that the AC has been cooking a little bit lately.

No, no, no, no, no, in a good way.

Yeah.

Like, you didn't have your glasses fog up when we actually had AC issues.

Right now, it's very comfortable.

Well, in there, though, there's also like a vent, if you look up, that is specifically just for Dan.

Like, the rest of the room is.

Yeah, look up.

There's like an air duct right above you.

I can't really do that.

He is struggling with the Sagat Sugatseat.

I suffer from vertigo.

You can't look up?

And

movements like that will

add him a camera moving.

Slowly.

What would happen?

Would you fall back?

Oh, there it is.

Okay.

You would fall backwards?

What other things like that can't you do?

Like, I can't move my head side to side very fast.

Look left, look up.

Like, it would really.

You can't do a little spinarama?

Does that get you going too?

So you have like a neck brace, like an invisible neck brace on, basically.

I mean, not really.

Like, you guys haven't noticed.

If I had a neck brace, you would know that I had a neck brace.

You haven't noticed.

But I'm saying you can't, you can't, like, if you turn, you'd have to turn your body.

You can't just turn your brace.

I just go slowly.

I just got to go slowly.

Like, I go look to my left here.

You just got to go slowly.

That's all.

Like, you have to turn your whole body, it seemed.

Michael Keaton.

I'm being careful.

Yeah, neck mobility.

That's right.

A little bit.

Yeah.

How long has this been going on?

I first started suffering from it.

It was about, it was right before COVID.

So, like, five and a half years ago.

And what happens?

You like get really dizzy and fall down?

I mean,

if I have a full-on attack, which I did that time,

I can have trouble walking.

We're all like, like,

development.

You're like, ah, I got the dizzies.

It's crazy when things just happen out of nowhere, too.

It's getting old, man.

I ran to a CVS not just to listen to music this time, but to also get eye drops because I'm like, I guess I'm meeting eye drop guy now.

Listen to music.

I've been that guy so many times, like tapping my foot, looking at which eye drops am I getting?

Where the hell am I going here?

I walked into Publix yesterday.

I sent Mike Ryan a text message.

I go, hey man, you want to guess what song's playing right now?

I guessed.

Chris, you want to guess?

What song?

I walked in yesterday.

I walked into Publix.

I have a guess.

They had the soundtrack on, man.

What song?

Israel?

Is it Natasha Bettingfield?

No.

I guess Michelle Branch.

I was off.

But then when you hear it, you're like, ah, how did I not guess this one song out of all the other songs ever made?

Very close.

Matchbox 20, 3 a.m.

Oh, wow, good song.

Very close.

Greg, did your glasses fog up when you walked into the sex store with your son?

Whoa, whoa.

I'm sorry, what?

Whoa.

Oh, has everybody not listened to the Greg Cody show podcast?

Can you repeat that line, please?

Not yet.

Well,

I don't want to give too much away.

You know, I don't want to step on the punchlines of my own show, which just dropped a couple of hours ago.

So I encourage people to listen to it.

But Christopher and I did make a trip to

a mega store that refers to itself as an adult entertainment store.

I'll reveal that my dad tricked me.

Late last week, he's like, hey, you want to go to lunch?

I went to his house.

I got in his car.

And he's like, it's late for lunch.

We're going to a sex shop.

Wait, what's a mega store?

It's like the size of a supermarket.

Like, it's a gigantic sex.

So much sex.

Like

the target of

risque things.

You went to a sex toy shop?

I heard you were throwing doughs at the park yesterday.

Is that true?

No, no, no, no.

We decided.

Well, that's, once again, now you're giving away.

Don't give away.

My dad wanted to not make light.

Trust me, we do plenty of saying this is not right.

We do plenty of caveats.

My dad wanted to say this is what people should be doing with dildos.

What they're doing is throwing them at arenas.

You know what?

Here at the Great Cody Show, we're going to give you something that you should be doing.

Whether we actually should be doing what he wanted to do, you're going to have to tune in and find out.

Yeah, but

there's a, you know,

use a sex toy for personal pleasure or group pleasure or

tossing, you know, for distance.

Can I quote, first of all, it's always jarring when you hear your name out of the blue, like in a podcast.

And so I was referenced twice in this particular podcast, which was a little jarring spoiler alert.

Can I quote something that won't give anything away?

Sure.

Greg said he was going to, quote, look for, quote, a decent-sized, classic-looking dildo.

Right.

So I just want your description on what is decent-size and what is classic-looking.

Great question, Izzy.

Okay,

by classic, I mean something that looks like what it's representing.

Classic, how?

Because when I look at like old paintings, for example,

it looks like they are not circumcised, but today you would call classic penis circumcised.

So in your mind, which penis is classic?

Can I go first?

Yeah, go ahead.

I think you're thinking about the classic replica, flesh-colored, vascular.

Erect.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

Aren't they all erect?

I mean, that's implied.

Ever flapped one of those things around?

I think it's a little misleading.

That would be funny.

A flaccid dildo.

Now, the most important part of this

being the size i think we're just right just all right let's probably take those up

in the edit you want something can we not do that you want something that's a little larger than life whose judgment those look like awards like can you be specific like what is larger than life like six inches seven inches probably it's probably more like eight nine ah okay

and and here's the other point i want to make the the sex toys quote unquote that have been tossed on the w NBA courts it it's all a ruse with this cryptocurrency company or whatever Cryptos aren't real.

But they're green.

I don't want a green dildo.

I feel like green is better than one that looks realistic.

What's your preferred color?

I want a flesh tone.

But like a color.

Whether it's white or black, you know,

I want a

dildo that looks like what it's representing.

That's all.

Purple, maybe?

Nah, not really.

So we do that, and

we figure out if my dad can do the monkey bar.

Wait, so you went shopping?

We did the monkey bar.

We journey to a sex shop.

You're going to have to tune in to find out whether we, how far we make it in there, what happens.

Just, you're going to have to tune in.

Also, did it in a muscle car.

By the way, I've always been like, you know what?

I should do some sort of like gay-themed podcast.

You straight guys have got that covered.

Like, dad and son going to the gay shop to buying dotos.

I'm good.

I don't need to do a podcast.

That's high praise.

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Don Lebatard.

What do I got here?

I got a magnum condom.

Um, we won't get that out.

That's shocking.

Stugats.

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

Right next to the condom, yeah.

He's there.

He has a little reminder.

Never forget it.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with his two guards.

I'll tell you, I feel like in the history of Father Son podcast, you guys may have pulled something off that has never been up to you.

That's why

I had some pride doing it.

Did it in the muscle card?

Like, I don't know if the Golix are doing that.

Can we put in a request for the Golicks to do that?

That would be great.

Do they think you were together?

Kirkchin, can Kirchin and his son do this?

Tune in to find out, but it's a father-son thing.

Because I will admit,

we didn't want to, you know, privacy stuff.

The video is on the way there.

It's all video, but we go just audio for into the sex shop.

You know, forgive, obviously, this hypothetical.

If something were to happen to your dear wife, you know, and then you were to date younger, would Chris be your type?

I could see me dating younger.

No, but like Chris specifically, would Chris be your type?

You know, soda body.

Why'd you look over at me as if to like assess?

I don't know how to answer that question.

I'm just kind of saying, like, and then you went and you like were a couple.

Would this be like a realistic coupling for you?

Yeah, I could see myself dating a man half my age.

But like Chris type?

Yeah, wait.

I feel like he's answered enough.

I don't like a beard.

No?

No, I don't like a beard.

Christopher doesn't like to shave for some reason.

He only shaves above his lip, I've noticed.

I have a beard now because I'm an adult.

Yeah.

Yeah, Christopher.

I shave my neck.

Seeing those two go in a place together where you were assume they were together is no weirder than Bill and Jordan.

I guess they're not the Belichicks, but I don't know her last name.

Them going out in public somewhere, right?

My dad was caught up on

because I did not want to go in with my dad.

I'm like, you take the phone.

So he wouldn't be your type if you went older.

My dad was afraid to walk in there alone.

He wanted me with him.

Well, of course.

I would have felt self-conscious walking in there.

Is that because, like, if you were recognized, like, what's great, Cody?

At least if someone's, if Chris is with you, it's like, oh, this is obviously a bit.

You should have worn a mask.

Probably just thought of that.

Just an eye mask, you know?

An eye mask.

No, you could do a mask.

Yeah, like a Robin type mask.

Yeah, he's sweating again.

You could do a surgical mask, too.

Oh, he's older.

He's

susceptible to COVID.

Did you walk in and say, where are the dildos?

That's why we did it.

Yeah, like I know when I go into a store, store, the last thing I'm doing is asking for help.

I'll find what I need.

I agree with you.

All right.

I'm a man.

I could do it on my own.

I agree.

So what's when you go into it?

It's all the poor women asking for help at the sex store.

Well, I'm not judging.

I'm just telling you from a man perspective.

I don't ask for help.

I don't ask for directions.

That's exactly where the dildos are.

I don't need help.

But how long do you wait in the sex shop to ask for the dildo?

Well, you don't want to be seen as leisurely browsing in a place like that.

You want to do your business.

You want to get to the cash.

In and there.

No pun in there.

Decisive.

I feel like the people in there wouldn't be judgmental of you.

Like, it's just in your head.

Like, you guys are all there for the same reason.

It's not like you're, you know, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but you mentioned like the CVS.

Like, CVS, I mean, you just walk down the aisles, you look around, you're like, whoa, like, okay, this is not what you thought that they would sell at CVS anymore.

It's just there, like, on the shelves.

You walk past, go down the wrong aisle, looking for some Advil, and then all of a sudden, Doe's everywhere.

It does.

You look around.

It does seem targeted too.

The recent dildo's being thrown on sporting courts.

You see them more.

You can find those easier now at CVS.

They're in more prominent spots.

So, like, there, if you're walking around and someone sees you, you're like at, you know, you're doing school supply shopping, all of a sudden, someone walks by, like, Greg, what are you doing in this section?

It's different than if you're at an

adult store.

Everybody's looking for dough's there.

I want to make sure I just heard something correctly.

You can walk into a CVS drugstore and buy buy a dough.

We didn't even have to go all the way where we went.

That's crazy.

Is it?

I mean, I knew that you could buy like condoms.

It's in the pharmacy.

Yeah, it's in the pharmacy.

Right next to the condoms.

No way.

No, it's just in the aisles.

Not even in the pharmacy.

I thought you guys were kidding.

It's under e-commerce.

No location.

Look, next break, walk over to the CVS down there, and I'm sure you could find if you're there.

I will.

Ask them which aisle are the dough's.

Yeah, I will.

We'll bring a live view camera.

Okay.

I mean,

it's crazy.

Do they have a good variety, though, or just like going to learn?

Probably.

Maybe it depends on the size of the

store.

Yeah.

You know?

Size of the store.

Yeah.

I've noticed like

the pharmacies in,

you know, like when we worked at the beach and here, like, in downtown, they're more like just meat and potatoes type pharmacies, you know, like they don't have a selection of anything.

Any CVS or Walgreens in a downtown stinks.

Yeah.

I'll say it.

There's a target here.

Honestly, I'm kind of wondering if that target sucks or not because like the target target on the beach I know no offense if you work at that target or any target that's that target kind of sucks.

It's it's not big enough you want like a lot of square footage and when they kind of when they put them in like more compact like downtown settings They're not the best versions of the stores Greg I can tell you sort of the evolution of how we got to doze at the CVSs or in regular drugstores.

Please if you go to any supermarket in the produce section cucumbers it's been largely the go-to for people way back in the day.

Or carrots.

I think people were like, carrots, a little small, a little rough.

How about zucchini?

They're all jagged on the wrong angle.

Each of their own.

Zucchini, little soft.

Doesn't really work as well.

And so.

What about an eggplant?

Because that's like the emoji.

Good for you.

Eggplants.

They seem small, a little large.

Eggplants seem impractical.

Yeah, they should be firmer if they're going to be that large.

Otherwise, Roy has thought of it.

Yeah, Roy has something to go.

Go for it, Roy.

Yeah, the problem with the CBS pharmacy situation is the pharmacy line is right there running past this section where the condoms and the sex toys are.

That's why Roy goes to the store for the dough's because everybody's there shopping for dough's and there's no judgment.

When Roy goes to CBS to get his dough's, people are like, Royal Days.

This has gone on way too long.

No, listen.

There are not does at a CBS.

Yeah, there are.

There are does at a CBS.

That's a personal massager.

Right now, Roy's definitely cucumbers at a Publix.

Vibrator.

Roy.

You're the arbiter on this.

They have

actual sex toys or just personal massagers that everyone knows that that's what it's done.

Personal massagers.

No, you've heard.

Okay, personal massagers.

But are they phallic-shaped?

Yes.

This is insane.

And why haven't I gotten the invite to this CVS?

I can only imagine.

It's every CVS.

No way.

I'm telling you, I go onto that CVS right down.

Put it on the poll.

Are there doughs at CVS?

Where is the line?

I mean, since I was a child, I go to CVS.

I see all the jellies and other types of.

It's like, why is other sex-related items?

You were thinking that as a child, as a child.

And I got a waiting line over here standing with Claire, and she's over here, like, what is that?

I'm like, yeah, that's crazy.

I cannot bother.

Do we have the capabilities for all of us to go as a show, just walk down the street and just broadcast all of us live from there?

Or someone has to stay behind?

I mean, my guess is it's tough to set that up mid-show.

I mean, I'm kind of new around here.

I'm finding those.

They have dough's.

Just walked.

Yeah, at least they're packaged.

And vibrators.

At least they're packaged, though.

They are.

They're just locked.

They're not dangling very fallicly.

You don't want to be walking down the aisle, like one fell to the floor.

And so, excuse me, a pickup.

It's apparently a recent phenomenon.

Interesting.

This is crazy.

How do you think that board meeting went when the CVS execs are like, you know what I think we need to start stocking on shelves?

Somebody in the meeting was like Mike, and they're like, no.

And everyone else is like, it's good business.

COVID was like the great reset.

Like, everyone just forgot everything that happened before.

So like after, it's like, wow, I guess this has just always been the case with everything.

Did we, of course, you know, the reason, if somehow you have forgotten, the reason that the Does are in the conversation is because of what has happened in the WNBA over the last couple of weeks.

Did we have any incidents?

Over the weekend?

You know, football, football, preseason football felt like it was front and center.

I didn't see any headlines about any DOS in WNBA preseason games this week and WNBA Greggo season games this weekend.

I haven't seen any either.

Maybe I was distracted, Shador Sanders, other things happened.

But it's possible, as Chris mentioned, some of them are sold out, so we don't have enough to go around.

The Love Buzz is sold out at CVS right now.

I did see that Piers Morgan fell for an NBA Centel tweet this weekend.

That NBA Centel put out that WNBA arenas are installing nets

like a hockey ring

so that you can't throw the does.

And Piers Morgan fell for it.

My favorite meme regarding this story is when the WNBA announced no bag policy, and the meme was, I know what I have to do, I just don't know if I have the strength to do it.

So guys, I've

strength.

I have something very important to tell you.

All right.

As you may know, there was a movie that came out this weekend.

Oh, did you find out why the kids keep leaving the rooms?

I know why the kids ran into the streets in the middle of the night at 2.17 a.m.

Greg Cody, do you know why?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

The movie

Weapons came out this weekend.

New horror movie.

Weapons.

That's the movie where they show you in the previews.

The kids are running into the streets.

They're leaving their homes unprovoked and they're running out all at the same time.

Greg, what's the last preview you saw?

2.17 a.m.

and they disappear to never return.

That's the movie.

I had to find out why they are running out of.

Like, do you remember the last time you watched a movie trailer and you're like, like, the trailer works in perfection where I have to know what happens?

I don't think he actually does remember the last time you saw a movie trailer.

Full stop.

No, I don't.

I don't.

My wife

talked me into watching

Happy Gilmore 2.

Not a trailer.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Whoa.

Awful.

You couldn't name one thing about the first one, though.

I like the first one.

But it's all paying respect.

That first one was great.

What's the bad guy's name in the first one?

You know,

the guy there.

What's his name?

Yeah, Darth McGillicutti.

I forget.

Gesturing.

I'm gesturing.

Shooter.

Oh, shooter McGavin.

Yeah.

Thanks, ass.

Of course.

Like, he was going to get it.

No, I, I, but

the finger gun gave me a hint.

So, so you don't remember, I forget about the trailer.

You don't remember the last time that you heard a movie was coming out, maybe?

You're like, I have to know what happens.

We saw the Rocket Man, the Elton John biopic.

You don't know what happened to Elton John?

Like, it's a true story.

It's a lie.

Swingboat and Elton John movie.

Those are his last two movies in the last two decades.

In theaters.

Yeah.

Gilmore 2, we watched in the privacy of our home.

Were you surprised at the ending of Gilmore 2?

Like, did it shock you?

No, the whole thing was formulaic.

I'm happier.

I'm sorry for the girls.

The live reference, you know, nothing worked.

It was just terrible.

Favorite cameo?

There were too many.

A little distracting, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Like, half of the PGA players.

Just push it away.

Half of the PGA players I couldn't name.

You know?

Like, who the hell?

Best player in the world, number one.

Oh, that guy, you know, he should have three clubs in his bag to give him a handicap.

Him, I sort of recognized, but not really.

But those other guys, they needed Hello My Name Is tags for me to know half of those PGA tour players.

And the Bad Bunny, I think, was in it.

Baboni.

The Bad Bunny.

Baboni.

My wife told me who that was.

I thought he was pretty good.

That wasn't funny where every time he was, like, he kept asking Happy if he needs a breadstick.

It's funny.

I don't get that.

Because he was a waiter.

He wanted to.

But what's the breadstick got to do with it?

You're really helping.

At restaurants, they have breadsticks.

Okay.

Whatever.

But he was a star.

You don't know about that Olive Garden?

Bunny, no.

Bunny was the star of the movie for me, along with Gilmore.

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Don Lebatard.

I heard that as a woman faking pain.

I didn't think that sounded real.

I really didn't.

You know?

It was not fake.

It was in no way fake.

If you can spot a woman faking it,

yes, I can, Jess.

Expert.

I've been married 40 years.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

You're annoying me today.

Just a little feedback.

Not super helpful.

The Timbo.

The Timbo, even like right out the gates, the photos.

I know you're not on Instagram, which is why you kept referencing Facebook, but the photos of the kids, like that's that's a pop culture thing, but I understand how it misses you.

And you know what?

I love you just the way you are.

You stay.

Can I ask a a follow-up question, which will get Greg more

into his comfort zone?

And again, this is not giving anything away about the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody, but

thank you.

But

when you are swinging on monkey bars, not when you do it, but as a generalization, when someone swings on monkey bars, you imagine your feet flowing freely, right?

Like you have, you don't have to hit against the ground.

You don't have to keep your knees up or anything like that, right?

Because this motion right here, keeping your knees close to your chest, is already physically more demanding.

Right.

Right.

So I will say, I'm not going to give anything away, but when we talked about monkey bar swinging, we definitely talked about it in terms of just having one that was tall enough where your feet can just swing.

Adult monkey bars?

Sorry, we couldn't find those.

No, every single monkey bar that I've ever hung on were long enough for adults.

Yeah, we went to a playground with kids' monkey bars, and it was.

Which I thought they all are.

What?

I mean,

no, the monkey bars of my youth.

This is what a ridiculous.

We didn't go to a CrossFit training place.

We were at a kid's park.

I know, but that was a...

What do you think?

The monkey bar is like three stories high.

It's in Squid Game.

I mean, that was a difficulty.

That added to my difficulty of whether or not I was able to complete the...

You know what?

From now on until the end of, let's say the end of the Greg Cody Show's existence, probably going to be at least 20 more years, right?

I will stop at every monkey bar that I see that are tall enough and show you.

And just so you know, that all monkey bars are not short little kiddie monkey bars.

Exactly.

That's right.

Christopher, take a lesson.

Wait to see.

One that isn't at a workout place.

So, am I the only one who knows why the kids ran out of their homes in the middle of the night?

Yes, you are.

The only one who cares is more like a million dollars.

No, that's not true.

I care.

I actually had tickets to see it on Thursday, and I couldn't.

I've been too busy this weekend, but it's on the list.

This is one that I have to see in theaters.

I have to find out.

You got to know.

I got to know why they're running out into the street at 217 a.m.

Well, just tell them why it wasn't.

Well, no, no, I'm not going to give any spoilers.

To people listening right now, watch right now, I don't do spoilers.

I'm not like that.

A courteous person.

Bad name for a movie.

Arder any weapons.

I'm not going to spoil anything for you.

Okay, I guess they were.

I'm not going to spoil anything.

But

yeah, so I will tell you, though, I enjoyed the movie.

It is not what I thought it was going to be.

That I will tell you.

Not what I thought it was going to be.

I will also tell you that purposely, the movie's actually pretty funny.

All right.

It's not,

like, if you think it's gory, it's not, there are some gory parts, but it's not gory.

It's not even scary.

It's, it's, it's a thriller.

It's more suspense than it is scary, but I liked it a lot.

It's uh, it's pretty wild, actually.

Would it be giving anything away if you told us what you thought the children running away would be?

Uh, I don't know what I thought.

I don't know, like, like, Mike, you haven't seen it yet.

Do you do you have like a theory?

I didn't think I'd have to.

I have a theory.

I had no theory.

I just, yeah.

Because the last time, to answer your question that you asked to Greg, the last time I saw a trailer that made me say, I need to know what that was about, it wasn't too long ago.

It was Sinners.

It was, oh, okay, I don't really know what the horror element here is, but I want to know what it is.

And then I watched it.

And like you said, it wasn't crazy scary.

It had a couple of jump scares, but it had a very...

consistent, you know, classic theme to it.

And it was a great movie.

I have a shocking admission.

I was embarrassed to admit this, but I'll do it on the air now too.

I saw the trailer for Sinners and was like, I want to see that.

I still haven't seen it yet.

Oh, it's a good movie.

And then I, and spoiler for those that haven't seen this, I don't, I don't, it shouldn't be a spoiler.

It seems like this is a pretty important plot point.

No idea Michael B.

Jordan played two roles.

I didn't know that at first either.

Had no clue.

I watch a trailer.

Watch the trailer a handful of times.

Right, right, right.

Then I sat down and watched the movie and I was like, huh.

What do you know?

That's a good idea.

It's like awesome powers, Dr.

Evil type thing or no?

No.

I mean, yeah,

he plays himself and his brother.

Well, he plays twin brothers.

That's how I knew he did a great job in it because right when I saw him, I said, man, that's clearly Michael B.

Jordan.

And I said to myself, at what point in this movie am I going to forget that those are two Michael B.

Jordans and just remember and just think of the character?

And at some point halfway through, I completely forgot it was Michael B.

Jordan.

That guy did a great job.

I liked weapons.

I liked it a lot.

My older son didn't like it.

My younger son was like, all right, they're all fine.

I see all the horror movies with my boys in the theater.

And anytime it gets too gory, you know, and one of them wants to put their hands over their eyes, I look, you put your hands down, you will watch every second of this.

You're a Zaszlo.

I don't allow them to look away.

Goddamn Zaszlo.

You will watch this.

Did this movie grab you like in the first couple of minutes?

Did weapons just totally suck you in?

Yes, the way it starts, you know, it's creepy the way it starts.

And immediately when the movie gets going, you're like,

it's building and building and building to finding out what the hell is going on.

So, yes, I liked it a lot.

I don't cop out.

You find out what's going on.

Oh, yeah, there's no mystery.

You know what's, yeah, they explain it all.

When it's not going to be what's happening, did you used to like have to open your kids' eyes?

Like little Alex with the ultraviolet in Clockwork Orange?

Really?

You would have to do that.

Well, no, I tell them to put their hands down because when their father tells them to do something, they do it.

Is it because like, you know, man, don't get scared?

That's right.

Zazzlos don't get scared of this.

We're at the movie.

We're not at the movie to not watch it.

We're not at the movie to cover our eyes.

We're at the movie to watch.

White Tamara, can she cover her eyes?

She doesn't come to the horror films with us.

She doesn't like it.

She's not into it.

Do your boys like it or you just burst out?

No, they don't.

They love it.

They love the horror films.

If they don't like it, they have the opportunity to physically challenge him.

Well, my younger son can challenge me.

He has not used up a challenge yet.

My older one used up his first ever challenge.

I think it was three months ago.

How often do they reset if they challenge me?

Six months.

Six months.

He's got three months before we can challenge again.

Yeah, my boys can challenge me, Greg, to be man of the house if they want.

You know, because they're both men also.

They've been bar mitzvah.

And I don't know if you know, in the Jewish tradition, once you're bar mitzvah, you're a man.

And so my boys, they're both allowed to challenge me to be man of the house at this point because they've both been bar mitzvah.

My older one took a stab at it a few months ago.

It did not go well for him.

And so he has to wait another few months.

But my younger one, if you want to step up, step up.

And what would be an example of a challenge that your younger one might make?

Got to take me down.

You know, like they announce, hey, I'm challenging you.

Okay, I drop what I'm doing.

You you know, I would never back down

fight to the death Greg, but close.

Yeah, you get you got you got to get me down on the ground where it's almost like all right, you know,

yeah, isn't your youngest son?

Well, what do you think we're going to have a debate?

Isn't your youngest son 14 on a daisy?

Yep, that's what he's talking about.

I'm talking about a physical challenge.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, just

so my older one, my 16-year-old, he tried.

He talked a tough game.

It did not go well for him.

And he was talking trash to me yesterday, to be honest, saying,

I can't wait for another few months because you're dead.

I'm like, oh, okay.

Like, we remember what happened last time.

It's going to go poorly for you again.

But he thinks that he's got me next time, but he still has to wait a few months.

Was it scary off the jump, or did they try to lull you into a false sense of security?

No, no.

My older son, like, when he tried, like, he started choking me out.

He jumped on my

weapons because I keep trying to find the loop to get to the top five that I cooked.

Let's do it.

Come on now.

Top five best opening scenes in cinematic history.

Good list.

Okay, top five best opening scenes in cinematic history.

We do have an OLI.

Here's the group of OLI.

Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Can you explain for those of us who haven't seen it in 30 years?

Yeah, big old ball.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

Okay.

Big ass ball.

Yeah, big ass ball.

The ball.

It's like the stun show, which is still around, by the way.

Is it?

Yeah.

Yeah, you can always tell who the plant is.

They're wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

OLI.

Heat.

Wow, that's OLI.

That's a great opening scene.

Dude, it was tough to boil this down to five.

It is a great opening scene.

Wayne Grove kills him.

He's got the blood in his ears.

That Wayne Grove was a real piece of shit, let me tell you.

Do you see who they're talking to to join the cast of Heat 2?

No.

Pat Riley.

Leo DiCaprio.

What?

Wow.

I like it.

I like it too.

Did you read the book?

Heat 2?

No, it was a movie.

Why would I read?

Well, Heat 2 is not a movie.

Maybe you just told me that the movie's coming out, though, so why would I read it?

Well, you know, they're still trying to get it green lit.

Huh.

All right.

OLI.

Final OLI.

Jaws.

Or

alternate title, What's That Knowing On My Leg?

Number five,

Scream.

Great opening scene.

Great opening scene.

Great opening scene.

Involving what?

Spoiler alert.

Drew Barrymore.

Yep.

The Drew Barrymore.

It was kind of a cameo.

It wasn't really a cameo.

It was a bit part, but, you know.

Calls coming from inside the house.

Yeah, this is great.

And that was also back then where, like,

a famous actor or actress didn't didn't get killed in a movie no it didn't do that you didn't see it and it was genuinely scary i just forgot that that was the opening scene but it's clearly the most memorable scene from the movie oh for sure number four

gotta give some uh animation some love here up

very it's very sad super sad and you you

You are totally shocked at how this movie grabs you right away and how emotional that start is.

When we watched up for the first time in my house, my kids were of an age where they're going to be into it.

Blockbuster was like still open.

It was still a thing.

And when we were renting up, like the person behind the red is like, be prepared for the opening of the movie.

It's really sad.

Hey, Blockbuster employee, don't do that.

Spoiler.

What a terrible thing to do.

I love the, dude, I miss the banter with the people that worked at Blockbuster to know-it all.

Really liked movies.

Till know-it alls.

Yeah, they were know-it all.

When you had the connection with the one person who would tell you when something just got returned, oh my god, that was my guy.

Well, do you know what the move was at Blockbuster?

If it was a really really popular movie and, you know, it was never behind the on the shelf.

When you walk into Blockbuster, you first go to the front where it has the movies that have been returned but have not been put back on the shelves yet.

That move.

Number three,

Dark Knight.

Wow, number three.

That's what I would have number one.

Dark Knight opening scene.

I think it might be that.

I don't know.

Great job.

William Finkner, right?

Fickner, yeah.

Is it Fickner?

Either way, it's a fing up last name.

Number two, saving Private Ryan.

This was really difficult.

You had dudes walking out of the theater.

Yeah, I mean, you had dudes carrying in their own arms.

It was nuts.

This is an incredible scene to start a movie with, and it was really hard to put that in number two.

That was the D-Day, like on the beats?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You open right up with Tom Hanks.

Apparently very realistic.

It was incredible.

And number one, for me, also in that World War II genre, not the kind of action, but gripping, edge of your seat type of dialogue.

Christoph Waltz, you knew that he would win an Academy Award just based off of this opening scene.

It's Inglorious Bastards.

Wow.

No good fellas.

I can walk you through that opening scene like almost frame by frame where you got Ray Liota, you've got Joe Pesci in the back seat, you've got, what's his face?

Robert De Niro, Robert De Niro in the passenger seat, and they're hearing the bumping.

His face, what's that?

And they pull the car over, and it's the dude in the trunk.

Oh, he's not dead yet.

And Joe presses

And then it goes to Ray Leoda with the voiceover.

As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster.

Do your own list.

If you're talking dialogue, social network.

Hey, it's Mike Ryan.

Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.

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I know I did.

And in many of the pictures that I went back to reminisce over, I had a beautiful white can of Miller Light in my hand because I love making good times during the summer a Miller time.

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