FOOTBALL AMERICA!: Harness Your Hopes with Mina Kimes

We did it!

Crawled through the off-season river of shit and came out clean on the other side.

It's football season, and with it comes hope.

Now remember what our friend Andy told us.

Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

Well, the Chiefs' dreams of a three-peat died, murdered in fact by the Eagles, but you know what I mean.

How could you be so obtuse?

As in deliberate.

As in me, deliberately starting a brand new NFL show here in the year of our Lord 2025 with some crap from a 31-year-old movie, which coincidentally is how long it's been since America's alleged team last played in the Super Bowl.

But the Cowboys have hope, and so do the other 31 teams.

Well, not the Cleveland Browns.

No one thinks they're going to the Super Bowl.

How say you there, fuzzy britches?

I kid.

Even Cleveland has hope.

They hope one of their 37 QBs is good.

Not too good, though.

They trade those guys away.

The Bills have more than hope.

They've got the MVP, and they're all hoping his eighth season will be the one that ends in February.

Problem is the Ravens hope the same for their eighth year QB.

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged.

Their feathers are just too bright.

Or maybe it's those white hot playoff lights that are too bright.

Either way, football is the study of pressure and time.

That's all it takes, really.

Pressure and time.

The latter part is especially true for the olds.

Looking at you, Stafford and Rogers.

Really, how often do you look at another man's shoes?

A lot, as it turns out, if he's your team's starting quarterback.

And they're CJ and Brock and Jaden, and they've gone this far.

Maybe this year they're willing to go a little further.

You remember the name of the town, don't you?

Santa Clara.

I find I'm so excited.

I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.

I think it's the excitement only a football fan can feel.

A fan at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

I hope my team makes it to Santa Clara.

I hope to see them there and shake their hands.

I hope the Lombardi is as shiny as it's been in my dreams.

I hope.

Now start the show.

Coming up, Mina Kimes.

Mean a time.

We're coast to coast.

Bradley's got the news in NYC.

The Fuentes Brothers have the con in Miami.

I'm your old pal Dave here in L.A.

It's time to pledge allegiance to your team.

Let's start things off with Bradley and the news.

Changes are afoot in the NFL.

The most talked about, how the league measures first downs.

Gone is the chain gang in its place.

How come you're black and white?

I'm sorry to interrupt you there, Bradley, the newsman.

I'm reading the news.

I'm reading the news.

Yeah, we just had a news filter.

This is good because your objective.

If I've learned anything about Bradley,

he is going to be the down-the-middle guy on this show here.

I am maybe a little bit biased.

I think the Fuentes brothers have their rooting interests.

So please proceed proceed there.

We need a icy journalistic voice here.

Thank you.

Continue, please.

I'm sorry for interrupting you, except that I have to interrupt you one more time.

Would you let him start?

We're starting.

Well, listen, I have to say something.

This is our first show ever, so I feel like we should honor it with the greatest number one in NFL history.

In fact, win-play show, here we go.

3-2-1.

The third best number one in NFL history is Jamar Chase with a bullet for number two.

Look out, Cam Newton.

You currently hold the second spot.

You are, in fact, better than the reigning Super Bowl MVP who wears number two, Jalen Hurts.

I don't know why that's become a controversy of late, but number one, the greatest number one of all time, Warren Moon.

I'm sorry for that interruption, Bradley.

Please continue.

Hawkeye.

Oh, yes, the new technology that we have experienced now in preseason football.

I don't love it because it removes the action.

It's not as visceral as the chain gang.

On the other hand,

the octogenarians down there kept getting it wrong.

I think that, you know what, to decide, it's a tough call if I'm ultimately going to like this, if this is going to be a winsome thing for pro football technologically moving forward.

Let's go to our version of Hawkeye to render a final verdict if this is going to be a good thing for pro football.

That's right.

Big thumbs down.

Thumbs down.

Now, I like to include technology.

I think all sports should use it, but this kind of looks like a Wimbledon-light situation we have going on here.

You know, Wimbledon's been doing this for years, years.

And now that Hawkeye thing really doesn't tell us anything and very, very unfair to octogenarians there, Dave.

You know, they can only work with the tools that have been given.

It's not their fault that a billion-dollar corporation wishes to give them two chains on their very aged eyes.

And I think it's going to be a good thing for football in the long run.

But this first demonstration, not impressive.

Yeah, well, first of all, Mike, you're right that it's going to take a little adjustment period for our eye, same as baseball when they take the umpire behind the catcher.

That's going to be a trip.

This is weird because we're all looking up at the monitor, including the head coaches and all the players.

It feels distant.

That's why the NFL always wants as much as possible to keep the action down on the field.

They don't like it, they resisted for a long time vending out upon further review decisions to New York City because it wasn't in the stadium and it wasn't handled by the guys appointed to do it.

I'd never like the excuse given to referees.

Hey, human error.

That's part of the game.

No, no, human error is these high-end human beings who have impossible athletic ability trying to pull off rare feats.

There's a

fail

ratio there that I can accept.

Referees are like cops.

You can't be wrong.

You got to get it right every time.

I'm sorry if that's the standard.

You decided to be a referee, not me.

By the way, what kind of weirdo grows up wanting to be a referee?

You ever think about that?

I understand wanting to be a fireman or a football player or whatever else.

Anyway, Bradley.

Changes are also creating confusion.

This week, players like San Francisco 49ers tight end George Kittle believed the league had banned ammonia inhalants, more commonly known as smelling salts.

Hello, friend.

How are you?

I honestly just came up here to air a grievance.

Oh, our team had a memo today that smelling salts and ammonia packets were made illegal in the NFL.

Wow.

And I've been distraught all day.

Illegal?

Yeah, he even said he's not practicing anymore.

I considered retirement.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow, I drink that bet for George Kittle.

You got to figure out some middle ground here, guys.

Somebody help me out.

Somebody come up with a good idea.

Somebody on you.

Airing of grievances.

Yeah, that's all I had to get out there.

I'll get that off.

Is it every before every drive is a trip?

I'm in every drive.

I'm in here.

I'm sure that's a guy's done.

I'm in every drive.

In between every play, he's

too much.

He's got sauce that pulls out the sauce.

It feels like the energy is still out here, though.

No, definitely, definitely, but I missed those already.

But Kittle was wrong.

Reporter Kalen Kaler broke the news that, quote, players will still be able to whiff smelling salts during the games this season, so long as they bring their own stash.

The new policy only applies to teams.

The restriction is due to ammonia inhalants having the potential to mass signs of concussion.

Basically, they have to mule the smelling salts in themselves.

I'm not sure exactly why this distinction is important.

It kind of reminds me of Marshawn Lynch.

I doubt that the Seahawks had anybody, the equipment manager otherwise, who was giving him his shot at Corvasier before the game.

I assume he brought his own there.

You know, I was an end-of-the-bench guy, guys.

So I never had a call for smelling salts, really, because you have to be out on the field to get a head injury or otherwise that would require those.

I've never tried them.

What gives with these things?

Have you ever had them?

Gino?

Oh, man.

Yeah.

You got to be careful with those things.

Don't do them indoors, first of all, because

they'll take up the entire room.

You have to do them outside.

But they're a shot to the immune system.

They're a shot to to every system you have, really.

And I don't think George Kittle really needs them.

I think he just likes them.

Maybe he just likes the high.

I don't know.

I'm assuming.

But what does it do?

What does it make you feel?

Makes you aware.

It just gets like a slap to the face.

It just kicks you up and you're ready to go for the next one.

When I was in high school basketball, again, being at the end of the bench, the leftover beer from the previous weekend on Mondays, me and my pal Richie would finish off however many cans of beer we had left in the trunk of the car.

That was how I would get ready for basketball practice.

Not the same approach that George Kittle apparently is taking, but you do you, Kittle.

Change is also coming to kickoffs.

League announced three modifications.

One, a minimum of three players in the setup line.

Two, moving up the dead ball spot to the 35-yard line.

And three, on-side kicks can be used at any point so long as the team is behind.

I appreciate the effort.

Pro football is our greatest sport, of course.

And in that same spirit, you know, I would like to make it a little bit better than I found it.

And so anyone who is trying to address the kickoff situation, the problem is it stunk last year.

I get player safety, obviously.

The on-side kick, though, and specifically the rules that address that, take away, and I get it.

As a human being, I don't want people to have smelling salts or worse and concussions and all.

On the other side of things, that is perhaps the most exciting play in football, right?

That, I would say, maybe a block punt and maybe a kickoff return.

Those are kind of the most exciting things that you see because of the rarity of them.

Now, nobody ever successfully completes an on-side kick, so it's a waste of time.

And the kickoffs are a throw.

I don't want to eliminate the kickoffs, but if that's what they're going to be, or at least what we saw last year, then I guess do do away with them.

And as long as we're addressing the kicking game, here's my banner idea for you.

Tell me what you think of this.

Field goal kicking has gotten a little bit too easy.

Ironically, the best kicker of all time and all-time creep, Justin Tucker, was the only guy who couldn't make kicks last year.

But you're not supposed to be able to, or at least the people who created.

football didn't anticipate guys going out there and making 57 yard field goals with regularity.

It was supposed to be a real long shot to make long kicks like that.

So to raise the standard a little bit, I think we should complete the rectangle and put a crossbar atop of the two cross of the two goal posts.

So now you have to kick it through there.

It wouldn't impact the long kicks.

What it would do is it would make the shorter kicks a little bit tougher because you would have to squeeze it underneath that bar.

Usually the

guys doing it kick it up over both crossbars.

How say you?

See, this is probably one of your best ideas since I've met you because this is actually going to lead to more blocked kicks.

Because we all know that the kicks that get blocked are the low-angle kicks that, you know, from long distance.

Those are the ones most likely to get blocked because they have to have more power behind it.

And I hate these guys from 30 yards out, they get to sky it up.

And then, you know, the poor octogenarians, as you call them, they have to look over at the other guy.

And he has to make sure it's okay.

Oh, yeah, it's good.

It's good.

Okay.

And then they put their hands up and then it's like, oh, did it go over the post?

Did it not?

Does it count?

That's the best idea you've had since I've known you.

Now, when it comes to the actual rules that are getting changed, yeah, right.

There would be no, there would be no ambiguity.

Either it goes through the record or it doesn't.

It's not it.

We're either here or you're not.

That's it.

There's none of this, none of this maybe stuff, okay?

A lot of maybe stuff in football, not now.

And we're not going to be able to do that.

I will say, I will say, Devil's Day Amishek does say, now that you mention it, that little move of the two guys, the two officials kind of looking at each other like,

I'm going to go like, I'm going to do this.

Like, right?

We're both doing this.

Are we?

Are you...

Right?

That's a nice little moment of anticipation that we get as fans.

Confirm it?

Ah, ah.

Okay, but the rectangle, better.

Yes, much better.

And then the on-site kicks, I'm so happy they changed this rule.

They're going to change this rule because the whole, like, it has to be in the last two minutes and you have to be losing.

And, and, and, and, well, what, didn't you have to announce it?

Didn't you have to announce that you were having an on-site kick?

I think you still do, though.

I don't think you're allowed to take it.

Yeah, I mean, like, as soon as the ball gets kicked, you're, you're allowed to take, or you don't have to wait until the ball is kicked.

You used to run up there.

The other 10 guys would run with the kicker.

So they had a full head of steam that would create that moment of the bouncing ball.

And the best thing about the on-site kick is you can practice it a million times between now and the regular season.

You can never fully get yourself ready for the weird bounce of the oblong ball.

That's why it's so much fun.

And that moment when the guy, it hits him and it's loose for a second or two, like I keep saying, is about as exciting as it gets in football when your team is down four and has to get the ball.

Breaking news, Football America is receiving reports that Football America host Dave Damashek is about to announce his Super Bowl picks.

For more, we go to host Dave Damashek in Los Angeles.

That was very dramatic.

Maybe needlessly so.

Some might say that.

I don't know.

Either way,

Ken was whispering in my ear to do.

I don't know who Ken is, if that's your imaginary friend or otherwise.

Okay, you put me on the spot.

I do need to give a Super Bowl pick.

I do want to say at the outset here, I am somebody who is open to the events that happen out on the field on Sundays, and that may impact my Super Bowl pick as we move forward through the NFL season here.

So I want to put that important asterisk down.

My guaranteed Super Bowl 60 pick for right now is the Buffalo Bills and the San Francisco 49ers.

I am not being swayed by hard knocks.

I know that everybody gets seduced by whoever is on hard knocks and you think, well, that team seems great.

They got to go to the Super Bowl, right?

In this case, I am buying it.

The one thing I didn't agree with Josh Allen on in the first hard knocks, if you happen to catch it, is he's talking about my favorite part or one of my favorite things about being in the NFL and with the Buffalo Bills specifically is that they require us to go stay in some college dorms for a few weeks.

If I were a free agent and being pursued by a number of NFL teams, my first rule would be, oh, I have to go to college and share a room with another grown man.

You're off my list.

I want to stay at home.

I'm an NFL football player after all.

Why do I have to to go to some Juco for a month of my life and sweat it out?

Probably that place doesn't even have AC.

So I'm not interested in that.

By the way, Bills 49ers, I think I'm invoking the classic Chris Berman pick there, aren't I?

Didn't he make that pick for like 10 or 20 years in a row?

Teach, Teach,

you got the...

L.A.

Chargers, you got the Kansas City Chiefs.

You got the Baltimore Reds.

Oh, look, the AFC has a lot of good teams, but the Buffalo Bills are putting something pretty special together up there in Western New York, where the blue cheese flows like wine back on the blitz.

That's a pretty good boomer.

I got to say, Dave, that's a pretty good boomer.

You didn't get the catchphrase.

Nobody circles the wagons.

Like the Buffalo Board.

Nobody circles the wagons.

What the Boomer-Berman thing is, is the self-interruption.

He also quotes old song lyrics like, like jerry and the boys sang about oh so long ago what a long strange trip it's been back on the blitz but he always gets in his way too he'll he he does a lot of you got cj stroud you you got patrick mahomes you got justin look you got a lot of good quarterbacks at the nfl the rivalries the marching band the upsets I should really work in the grilled bratwurst too.

Saturdays just got even more fun.

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Hey, fun fact about your old pal Dave.

I like beer.

Summer may be winding down, but there's still time to get out in the backyard and do some barbecuing.

And while we might all have different techniques on the grill, one thing's for sure, nothing pairs with it better than a Miller light, Light, the go-to beer to fill up the cooler since 1975.

Miller's clean, refreshing finish is the perfect accompaniment to a burger or a wiener.

And with only 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, you won't be weighed down before you get to your second plate, something that's near and dear to my heart.

Not as close as the third plate is, but still.

Nothing refreshes me more on a hot day than the iconic taste of Miller Light, the original light beer from 1975, and still iconic 50 years later.

Miller's brewed for taste.

Simply put, it just hits different, especially at the grill surrounded by pals.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash FBA to find delivery options near you.

Or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

By the way, I just did this and I got me 236 packs ready to go in the fridge.

Cheers to 50 years of Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

All right, fellas, I don't know if you've heard the news, but a lot of big-time stars these last several weeks, nay, last several months, have asked for trades away from their current team for greener pastures, potentially, or otherwise.

So let's dip into it now.

What the if transaction style, fictional trades.

I think it helps to illuminate the value of any given player to put them in another football situation.

Bradley, tee up the first one, would you, you, fella?

The Dallas Cowboys trade Micah Parsons for the Philadelphia Eagles, Saquon Barkley.

Ooh,

NFC East rival Saquon Barkley, the difference maker for them Eagles one year ago, six months ago.

Micah Parsons not happy with Jared Jones and all the rest of the stuff there.

This is a trade.

that both sides would accept.

First of all, the Eagles obviously are about as sober an operation as there is in pro football.

They said all of our assumptions on their ear with their Nick Siriani, head coach, and their not top five QB.

And yet, two of the last three Super Bowls have featured them, one of which they brought home the Lombardi from.

They would understand that if you have a Jenga piece like Micah Parsons, who you can put anywhere you want on the field, that is more valuable than the ultimately fungible spot of running back as good as Saquon was, 2,000 yards and all of that.

His second best rush total is 1,300 yards.

He's much more likely to land somewhere there, if not below that.

That being said, we know that Jara likes to react to shiny new keys.

You know, he'd love to get a guy like Saquon Barkley and take him away from the Eagles.

I think both sides would accept this.

I think ultimately the Eagles would be the winner of it.

Mike, how say you?

Well, like you said, Nobody likes a big, powerful, shiny offense more than Jerry Jones.

So he would, I think he's dying for this trade to go through.

He just spent money on CeeDee Lamb.

He gave Dak a huge contract last year.

He has George Pickens now.

He would love to have a totally rounded offense with Saquon Barkley.

I'm sure a lot of fans probably wouldn't mind.

Honestly, I can't even name you the running back in Dallas right now.

Do you know?

I think it's Javante.

It'd be Dane Blue, right?

Yeah, the fact that you guys said, I think...

He said two different people and no one mentioned Miles Sanders.

Exactly.

So all these guys, he would love to have that rounded out.

And it'd probably be fun.

You know, it'd be fun.

Sure, you'd struggle on defense.

You wouldn't have a pass rusher, but know, how many wins?

Fantasy football players.

Exactly.

You throw the entire Cowboys' offense and you win, right?

There'd be a guy definitely trying to do that.

I think they can make any running back work.

And if you give them Micah Parsons on defense, Vic Fangio is going to, he's going to go crazy with that.

He can, like you said, he'll put him anywhere.

He'll put him at middle linebacker.

He'll put him at defensive ed, outside linebacker, and it'll all work.

Jerry Jones, like my brother said, you put Saquon Barkley in there with CeeDee Lamb and George Pickens and Dak Prescott, and it'll be the shiniest, most explosive thing he's ever had, or since the 90s, at least.

And by the way, too, what confirms that Jared would do this is all the grief he took for not signing Derrick Henry.

If he were presented with the chance to get the one or one A running back, he would definitely jump on it this time around.

Bradley, what's next?

Kansas City Chiefs trade Travis Kelsey for the Chicago Bears first-round pick, tight end Colston Loveland.

I like this a lot because it's so particular that the only team that wouldn't make this trade out of the 32 teams is the Kansas City Chiefs.

And even they would have to think about this.

The only reason they wouldn't is because it would be too disruptive of the assumptions of Chiefs fans, Taylor Swift, and all of that.

Although I do suspect that some percentage of people wouldn't mind taking her out of the luxury box up there and making the entire identity of the team the two wives or girlfriends of the two most prominent Kansas City Chiefs.

but they're all in.

One last go for it.

This is it.

The last dance, right, for the Kansas City Chiefs as we know them to be constituted.

I don't know if you heard Tyreek Hill now lives down by you guys, Super Fuentes Brothers, but Travis Kelsey and Patrick Mahomes are going for it.

One last time together.

I got to think this is it for Kelsey.

Everybody else in the league.

Maybe a first ballot Hall of Famer, maybe even be the greatest tight end of all time, at least as a pass catcher, Kelsey.

But obviously he's at the tail end of his career, whereas Loveland is is just getting going.

I think this is a gimme for the Bears or any other team to reject that trade offer from the Chiefs, right?

I think you're getting cute here if you're KC and you try to take Colston Loveland.

Not that they would do this and they would never do this.

But yeah, I think you're planning for the future when you're in the middle of your dynastic run.

So I don't think it necessarily works for them.

I think if you gave this to the Bears, I mean, it would be a big help for...

their quarterback situation.

Caleb Williams having Travis Kelsey all of a sudden would change just about everything.

That's probably the only reason I'd see the Bears doing that is because now you have a really Hall of Fame safety blanket, even though they have Cole Komet, who's obviously not known Travis Kelsey, but he's been there for a while.

And Bradley, you switch it up on us because when we talked about this last week, Tyler Warren was the guy.

And Tyler Warren, I was in on, the more athletic Tyler Warren.

And now you switch it up to this Loveland character.

Don't like that.

But

for what, you know, it's an age versus...

It's an age conversation, right?

Because if you're Kansas City, you want to make the adjustment, maybe start start coming out of that Travis Kelsey era.

You know, we're not having this conversation just have a down year last year, right?

We're like all in on Travis Kelsey, still the best, and they can get there.

Obviously, they made the Super Bowl with him, but this is definitely of we have an aging superstar, aging Hall of Famer, but we can have the brand new thing that's going to extend the lifespan of a Patrick Mahomes.

Mike might be right.

They might, they, you know what?

The Chiefs might sentimentality be damned.

They might say, yes, that is the smart thing to do.

Obviously, you would get rid of the guy.

And by the way, I think some Chiefs fans would be cooler with it now than they were before the Super Bowl.

We've seen the end of the road.

It is nigh for Travis Kelsey, right?

So I think even the Chiefs might say yes to this, even though a lot of people might be real sad about the 87 jersey that they have in red and gold there in KC at the tailgates.

Bradley, who's next?

Chicago Bears trade Caleb Williams for any of the first-round quarterbacks taken after Jaden Daniels.

This includes Drake Drake May, Michael Pennix Jr., Bonix, and J.J.

McCarthy.

I liked where your head was there, Gino, on the last thing with how to help Caleb Williams.

If you want to get him over the hump in year two, a great pass catcher might be worth it, even if it is just for one season with Kelsey.

You got to get Caleb right because they didn't take him with the first overall pick.

They are plagued by their own history.

Here's a crazy thing.

You know, we swoon over how certain teams have a lockdown on certain positions, not just for a couple of years, but through the decades.

We associate great defense with the Steelers and great running backs, maybe with the Dallas Cowboys or otherwise.

How about the Chicago Bears?

In 59 years, a Super Bowl-era history, the best quarterback they've ever had is Jay Cutler.

I mean, what in the hell?

It's like you have to try to be that bad.

This Caleb Williams thing, the Caleb Williams thing, I don't know why everybody got such amnesia.

Like, well, now we have finally solved it.

We got Caleb Williams.

Based on your history, let's see it happen before you buy all the way in here.

Ben Johnson is going to be the difference maker.

So I think the Bears would definitely reject this.

Ben Johnson had a number of options over the last couple of years to take over

different football teams.

He chose to wait it out.

And among the options this past spring, he chose the Bears on purpose.

That says something to me.

Ben Johnson is, in fact, one of those guys who gets the quarterback position better than most of the people who claim they are QB whisperers.

He's the real deal.

He's going to turn Caleb Williams around.

Obviously, I think most people would say you got to take Jaden Daniels.

If you set him aside, I don't have faith that any of those other guys, Drake May on down, are going to end up being better NFL QBs than Caleb Williams.

But

talk to me in three months.

I think you guys are right.

I think maybe this is another situation where you might be getting just a little bit too cute.

We saw some of the tools that had Caleb Williams be the number one pick last year, even though it was against the Jazz in London.

Not the Jazz, the Jags in London.

Oh, they would beat the hell out of the Jazz.

Yeah, the Jazz wouldn't stand a chance.

What's Lori Marketing going to do?

I get it, yeah.

Caleb Williams, why'd you get so mad?

He just stood there staring into nothing.

He got so upset that we made Lori Marketing.

He's marketing dude fiction.

I get it.

Can you please take this?

I'm trading Kelsey for non-Tyler Warren, Cortland Loveland guy.

And you're like all serious about Lori marketing.

You guys crossed the line.

You turned this silly.

You turned this very serious exercise into something else.

Please.

Stay with Kayla Williams.

Okay.

Yeah, I'd agree too.

I mean, Drake May had flashes.

J.J.

McCarthy is a huge unknown.

I can't even remember the guys you said in the middle there.

Nobody who really, you know, like up my jive or whatever.

Like, Jaden Daniels, the only reason we're having this conversation is because Jaden Daniels looks so good, right?

Like, when you have a guy in his first year that goes to the NFC Championship and the guy that you picked was struggling to have any kind of season even after they got him all these great looking weapons DJ Moore extension uh Keenan Allen still a free agent by the way um

Roma Dunze Cole Kame yeah DeAndre Swift and then you know the offensive line they couldn't protect him so I think you know we're so quick now I feel to abandon the first round quarterback when he's not instantly good you know right off right off the the jump and you know like so just give it some time.

I think maybe another year from now, maybe even two years from now, he'll finally be able to put it together.

He wasn't this highly touted for no reason.

Well, my longstanding, or not long-standing, I guess two seasons long, if that counts as a long time, is that we have reached a place in man's recorded history where pro football is concerned that the offensive coordinator in a lot of situations can be more important than the guy at the trigger.

Look at Ben Johnson in Detroit.

Do you think Jared Goff is a magic man, or is it Ben Johnson who's making him look so good?

Would you rather have Kyle Shanahan coaching the offense or Brock Purdy at at the trigger?

There are examples like that that are around the league there.

The only thing about Jaden Daniels is, or Caleb Williams, I should say, is it would have been cool spiritually if he had landed in his hometown in D.C.

There was some noise about that before the draft, and he didn't want to sign with the Bears or didn't want to get drafted there so he could play for his hometown team.

I'll always support that.

That's the coolest way to go there.

Bradley, what's next?

Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam for the New York Jets owner, Woody Johnson.

This feels feels like a trick question because this is Alien versus Predator.

You know, whoever, you know,

if that trade is made, I don't even know if it's Alien versus Predator because no one's going to win.

Alien versus Predator, the premise of that movie is that one of the two is going to win.

I never saw it.

I'll be honest.

I never, as much as I like Alien and I like Predator, I don't cross those streams.

Anywho,

Neither side would win.

It would be the same thing.

They're the two worst owners.

They are two peas in a pod.

That's what those two guys are.

I kind of feel bad for the Browns.

This is bad for bad.

Yeah, I mean,

what kind of bad do you want to be?

You know,

if Deshaun Watson's healthy, are we having this conversation?

Like, or, or, I mean, I mean, that's, I don't know.

Yeah.

It's not about the health, the mental health.

They obviously

Deshaun Watson, but no, he hasn't been emotionally right for a number of times.

For a long time.

But, you know, you know how it goes in sports.

the the paintbrush of winning saves all things right and everything's forgiven if you win you win football games you make it to the thing all of a sudden all these bad things but in this case no one has any paint or a brush really yeah yeah the paint store is closed right you're right well they're throw or they're or just they're they're just putting their hand in paint and throwing it against the wall you know like uh jackson pollock but but it won't be reviewed reviewed or won't be sold for millions of dollars.

Although Woody and Hasm would do well to sell their piece of art called those football teams and give them to somebody who can make better use of them than they have.

The thing I resent about these guys is, but by the way, the embrace of Aaron Rodgers is just about as ridiculous the way they did it.

And they just gave him the keys.

Yep, the franchise is now yours, yours, Aaron Rodgers, guy who hasn't been to a Super Bowl in 15 years.

You'll surely turn us around.

And on the other hand, obviously, Haslum made the deal for $238 million on purpose for Deshaun Watson.

Neither one is a winner there.

What I really resent is both both franchises, and this extends to any pro sports franchise.

Your bad decisions do not require my support because I'm a fan.

I will stay a fan of the brand, but don't expect me to cheer when you do something bad because you're desperate and flailing.

Don't expect me to ride along with that, right?

Going back to your alien versus predator thing, I think this is alien versus predator.

If the predator and the alien both get to the planet at the same time and then immediately hit self-destruct, both of them.

That's what happens.

You know what, though?

Maybe let's bring it full circle.

Maybe what we should do is get Haslam and Woody to combine their teams and form something close to one viable NFL team, right?

If you jammed them together, then we might have something.

All right, since we're doing an NFL show, I figured we may as well start at the very mountaintop here.

She's not just Seattle's best.

She's as good as it gets.

It proves it.

Every Mean of Kime show featuring her pal Lenny and on NFL Live.

And of course, there are more colors in her rainbow than just pro football.

Viewer discretion with David Dennis proves that.

Here she is, everybody.

It's Lenny's best friend, Mina Kimes.

What's happening, sister?

How are you?

Happy football season.

Dave, I'm a disgusting individual because I am so excited for the preseason.

Anthony Richardson.

Daniel Jones, four quarters of Shadora Sanders.

How can you not be romantic about football?

I'm excited.

I don't want to get bogged down on a sour note right out of the gate.

As I've said a million times before, I'll say it for the million and first here, preseason football is football's version of Civil War reenactment.

They only look real.

No, those are the uniforms out there.

Well, except that you don't recognize the name on the back of the jersey and the running back is wearing number 73.

Little things like that are weird.

But anyway, I'm with you.

I'm excited.

Football season is officially here.

So let's jump into it, shall we?

First of all, we were just playing a little bit of what the if

transactions.

As you may have heard, a number of big name guys are out there trying to get dealt or have requested trades and otherwise.

So let's assume that the contracts are as they actually exist as we speak here.

Raiders quarterback Geno Smith in exchange for Steelers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

Does either side quibble

at the mention of that offer?

I get a lot of flack for being too positive about Geno Smith.

And I understand he has his critics, and there are people who think he's maybe more mid than where I have him, which is fringe top 10, just outside, probably.

But I think he is an unboxing.

To me,

Gardner Minshew slash Aiden O'Connell to Geno Smith is the single biggest quarterback upgrade in football this year.

Do you agree?

I

biggest upgrade.

I think that sounds right without having all the changes in front of me.

But yeah, off the top of my head, it does.

Although, I certainly think that the Jets starting quarterback this year would have been a better option this year, if only because not to say I think Justin Fields is a superior quarterback to Aaron Rodgers, even though Aaron Rodgers is 41.

And as I continually say, there's very little evidence of guys thriving no matter how good they've been and whether or not they're destined for the Hall of Fame.

Once they transcend 40, there's very little evidence of those guys being the difference maker in a positive way for their team.

Justin Fields, like Geno Smith, the primary virtue in my book is if you are, in fact, intent on landing the guy in the draft in 2026, what you wanted was a bridge quarterback.

I know Aaron Rodgers does that, but as I keep saying, I don't think Mike Tomlin saw sinners because the primary message of that was, do not invite the vampire who wants to suck the life out of your organization and turn it into his culture.

And we're already hearing noise about Aaron Rodgers is dabbling with the offense.

Arthur Smith is cool with it, everybody.

Oh, yeah.

I think this is an interesting one because the confusion that exists among the football world where Brock Purdy is concerned.

He's good, but he looks like a boy.

I think that's strike one in terms of perception.

Obviously, he's Mr.

Irrelevant.

That's the other one.

No matter what Tom Brady did as a sixth-round pick, people are still going to be skeptical of that.

But also, I think practically, Brock Purdy's talents don't seem transferable.

Obviously,

if

the Bills were off, I mean, if the Niners were offered Josh Allen for Brock Purdy, there would not be a question there.

The Bills would never make that trade.

The Ravens would never consider trading Lamar Jackson.

And so it goes.

So I think this is an interesting way to sort of color in how it's not the answer to everything if his talent is transferable, but I do think it's a how low do you go in the quarterback rankings before you get a

satisfactory comp for Brock Purdy?

I have him in the 10 to 15 range, maybe like

a little bit towards the lower part of that.

What's so tricky about stacking quarterbacks in that area is you're kind of weighing upside versus floor.

A quarterback like Kyler Murray, to me, is the hardest to rank because there are games where he looks like a world beater and then there are stretches of inconsistent play.

You don't really get that with Brock Purdy.

I would say Jared Goff is a player who I would put very close to Purdy, very similar in some ways.

You know that he sets a floor for the offense and that if things are good, if the line is good, if you got some good skill players in there, you can get, you can, you can call a top five offense.

Those two offenses have been.

But um

i think

you know there's skepticism correctly about whether either of them are elevators the way certainly guys in the top five six are and then outside the top six you have guys who have like flashes of being that

you know mike behind the glass there said this to me the other day i said i ride at this point over the last couple of nfl season it uh seasons and you and i have talked about this a little bit in the past is um

in a lot lot of NFL situations, the play collar, the clever offensive mind has outstripped

the value of the guy at the trigger.

I think I would rather have Kyle Shanahan where I am a Niners fan than I would Brock Purdy.

I would definitely rather have Ben Johnson than I would

Jared Goff.

And I think Lions fans are going to find that out over the course of the next, you know, three, four months here.

Do you think that, and mike pointed out to me he said and i said i i believe what kyle shanahan believes and if he decided we must keep rock purdy then i'll ride with what uh what shanny says and mike rightly pointed out yeah that's the guy who also desperately needed to have trey lance so i don't know if anybody is 100 trustworthy um but do you buy that the niners after their little red shirt season owed the injury and otherwise questions about the offensive line and otherwise do you both believe that the niners are a real contender here?

I think they could absolutely win the NFC West, which I view as wide open.

So start there.

They have the easiest schedule in football.

They were the most injured team in football last year.

That's statistically very unlikely to happen again.

Even last year with all of the injuries, they still had like a top 10 offense in a lot of metrics.

I was impressed by Purdy's play in pretty adverse circumstances.

Me too.

Right.

If I have a skepticism around the Niners, it's actually not about the offense.

I don't like the the look of that secondary right now.

Looking at it, the depth chart, I think there's some holes on the back end,

but I like the return of Robert Sala a lot.

I think that's a stabilizing force.

One of the more underrated moves of the offseason.

Right.

So, yeah, I think they could.

And then, you know, with the NFC, I think after the Eagles, it's just a glut.

You know, I don't think there's a clear number two team in the NFC at all.

You know, like just about everybody else, I was all about the Rams, but the Stafford back news, and you talk about older QBs and all of that, things now suddenly are murky there for one half of Los Angeles Pro football.

All right, I just told you my Super Bowl 60 pick.

I texted you in advance of this and asked you for two Super Bowl picks, the first of which is the one that you think is actually going to happen.

And to make it a little bit more fun, since I know you're a big pavement fan,

do you remember who you told me?

I don't know if it's something that bounces around in your head.

You asked me actually in most fun.

I remember.

Yeah.

Okay.

What was your actual Super Bowl 60 matchup?

I believe I went with the two best teams in the NFL, the Philadelphia Eagles and the Baltimore Ravens.

All right.

Let's see that represented as a pavement album.

Here we go.

There it is.

Slanted and Enchanted.

The first one up there.

I have to say, I like this exercise.

And by the way, the Czech Republic is strong.

Thanks to our pal Los for sending that one over to us.

We welcome, encourage all listeners, football Americans, to join the conversation.

Okay, so justify that.

The Ravens, you just said it.

Now justify it a little bit.

Sure.

We know why you say the Eagles, obviously.

But talk about the Ravens in a conference that still includes the Chiefs and the Bengals.

The Ravens are stacked.

Okay, so if you're looking at the top of the AFC and you have, I think correctly, the Chiefs, Spills, and Ravens, right?

Bengals are kind of outside of that because of their defense.

In my mind, the Ravens clearly have the best defense of the bunch.

I think they have a top three forward defense that was really repaired.

They really fixed things in the second half last season.

I think they're going to be even better this year.

It's wild that just mid-season, they were being had.

And I was saying halfway through the season last year, are you guys watching the games, though?

I know Lamar Jackson's super fun and everything, but they can't stop anybody when they have to stop somebody.

Then suddenly they moved Kyle Hamilton and they were a completely different team.

Now they doubled down at the safety spot.

Added a Jair Alexander.

We'll see how much he plays.

But yeah, I'm pretty high on that Ravens defense.

Ravens offense.

Listen, we could talk about the postseason and some of the foibles and the execution errors that they seem to have.

We should talk about the postseason, mean.

I know you don't like a quarterback wins in the postseason as something that matters, but it matters.

Me and Nick Wright agree.

They're the best team.

I really believe that they're the best team in the AFC.

The offense is basically the same.

I think the play callers are so good.

Todd Muncin to me is like one of the great NFL stories.

So I, you know,

the thing about the postseason is you can't, we can, once we get there, we can say who's injured, what are the matchups like, et cetera.

But this time of year, all you could really do is just try to pick the two best teams.

And I really believe those are the two best teams in football.

I think the Bills and the Ravens and to probably a large extent, the Chiefs, are all in this weird four-month pregnancy where obviously they can't just fall on their faces, but assuming that they get to the postseason, that's all we're waiting for for any of those three teams.

And it's a weird state to assume as a fan of those teams.

It surely's got to be weird for the QBs.

Josh Allen said it on hard knocks and elsewhere.

What matters at this point, except how he plays in those very limited sample sizes?

That's the drama.

Don't you see?

That's why it's great.

That's what makes it the most fun.

Let's move on to your heart pick, aka the one that you think would provide the most narratives for us to buzz about for a fortnight long, the most fun, the one that most of America would be the most excited to watch.

I went with Bill Lyons for the heart pick.

You know, there's obvious reasons, right?

Tortured fan bases to different degrees, teams that have come so close in recent years, knocking on the door, teams that are right there at the top of their respective conferences.

I think the Lions are kind of still America's sweethearts, but

there is a bit of an expiration date on that, right?

Like you can only kind of get so close for so long.

So I feel like this year,

if they were able to get over the hump, it would just be an amazing story and people would really rally behind them.

You know, a lot of teams out there are trying to, in the copycat league, adopt that Eagles model, and the Lions are really in a lot of ways similar, a couple of years behind that, you know, physical, built at the line of scrimmage and all of that,

and beat the hell out of their foes.

I refer you to what happened to the Eagles in the in-between Super Bowl years there.

The loss of those two coordinators, it wasn't day one that had happened.

It was slow.

It was a slow-moving wreck for that in-between team with the Eagles.

I have a hunch that that's what's going to happen to these Lions.

How say you?

My feeling is offensively, there is going to be some regression because the combination of losing Ben Johnson and the interior offensive line kind of turning over.

But my hope is that that'll be mitigated by better defensive.

This is the most injured defense in football last season.

I think they got better.

I think they added talent.

Obviously, Aiden Hutchinson returning is huge, but they also added players in the secondary, first-round draft pick on the defensive line.

so I wouldn't be so.

I actually had this as a top-10 defense when I did my top 10 defenses pod.

And so, my feeling is if the offense takes a step back, the defense could take a step forward that kind of nets them out.

Um, hey, by the way, everybody would say about a Bills Lions um Super Bowl.

Would they say they'd say Wowie's Owie, right?

Isn't that what they would say, everybody?

Let's see it.

There we go.

See, Dan Campbell, Josh Allen.

Oh, wow.

Look at that.

AI could never.

But, oh, you, I think you could.

You You could do it on an Etch's sketch, as a matter of fact.

So now,

ESPN and the NFL are merging.

And I'm curious for your thoughts on that, because, of course, Jimmy Petaro and Don Van Nada say, like, of course, it's not going to impact our

journalistic integrity.

You are an accomplished writer on top of everything else.

Where do you come down on this?

Well, selfish, just speaking from my own perspective, I think my job is just going to be the same, right?

My,

I would say the last few years, what I've been doing is just about 95% of what I do at ESPN is just talk about the sport and just,

I think, celebrate it because I take it seriously and love it so much.

And then the other 5%, sometimes I'll branch out and talking about social issues around the sport, being critical of the league when it calls for it.

I think I've picked, you know, I've always

felt the importance of that in not just, we said the league, but I'm talking about individual owners that's primarily frankly more so than the league itself in recent years I expect that to continue honestly I

have never gotten pushback honestly when I've spoken out about those things but it is it is a relatively small part of what I do since most of my job is just watching the games and talking about them I yeah I hear you.

And, you know, Don Vanada has a different profile than I have for what it's worth.

I did graduate Ernie Pyle School of Journalism at Indiana University.

And so I am proud of

my bona fides or bona fides, however you want to say it.

And I will also say, you know, to a more extreme degree.

My role has always been professionally to have fun talking about football.

That's the main point there.

And that's why I am the guy who would go to Super Bowls and ask the players, is this a must-win game?

To sort of satirize the people who are overly satisfied.

One of the best bets of all time.

Well,

you know, the point is to make fun of the people who take it a little bit too seriously.

And I do kind of harken back to, I can devil's damashek, the need for hardcore journalism.

Obviously, if concussions are a plague on the profession, that needs a deep dive and some honesty,

some raw truth applied to it.

But for the most part, I also kind of think about from the Supreme Court what Warren said forever ago of the saw about,

you know, I go to the sports page to see man's successes and I go to the front page to see his failures.

And it is funny, right around the turn of the millennium, that's when football, when sports in general got sort of the us weekly people treatment a little bit more.

And I don't know that we're better off for that.

I mean, I don't know that we,

and coincidentally or not, you know, Jim Brown and

Muhammad Ali and Bill Russell and all the rest of them, that was before

it sort of bled into a sort of incorporated like, hey, let's put words at the in the end zone to show that we're all behind this as a as an industry when it was it was more of an individual statement.

And then the other side of that is, I'm sorry, I'm all over the place and I don't mean to monologue at you about this, but I also then think about when the colin kaepernick taking a knee thing was really hitting in a big way and i would talk about it on my show i was called in by bosses um and said stop talking about the colin kaepernick knee thing and i said it's the biggest story in football right now and they said no one cares what you think about that that's the kind of stuff that happens it's you know

It's not formal, threatening, or anything else.

It's just like, don't, don't talk.

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares what you think.

I think that we're ignoring empirical reality with that kind of stuff.

And I do think, I don't know that it gets to you, but that does happen, right?

People always think that happens at ESPN.

And I swear I'm not being a company woman when I'm telling the truth.

I've always been given editorial independence.

Back when I was a writer,

you know, my earliest columns at ESPN the magazine were about

Ray Rice and how the NFL failed there.

I wrote about Roger Goodnell's salary and why it was so high one year.

I wrote about NFL ratings and

I certainly wrote about Kaepernick.

And I think,

you know, as I've continued and instead of writing about those things, I occasionally used my TV platform, whether it's criticizing Dan Snyder or Jerry Richardson, or, you know, the NFL has kind of gotten its act together with regards to the suspensions compared to back then, but certain moments like that, figuring out what's going on with Deshaun Watson and criticizing the league.

Honestly,

I've always felt like I've had

just the freedom to say what I really believed as long as it was thoughtful.

And I think that's what I've always tried to do:

you know, I think if I'm talking about football, maybe I speak a little bit more off the cuff.

But if I'm talking about something I think is kind of bigger than that, I've always tried to really like make sure I said things in a correct way.

I can't tell you what the future holds.

I can only speak to what my life has been, my work life has been thus far.

But thus far, I've felt good.

I've felt proud.

Good times with Mina Kimes.

Make sure you track down her show featuring Lenny and NFL Live and all the rest of it.

She's as good as it gets, and we appreciate you joining us for our inaugural episode, Football Americans.

We do ask, I really do want this show to be interactive with you.

I want to be able to answer and have conversations with you.

I think the best way to do that is to get into the YouTube comments.

We'll try to do an extra show as we move forward here where we can address some of those questions specifically.

In the meantime, great times.

Thank you so much to Dan Lebetard and to Carl and to Mike for putting this all together.

Can't wait to move into the football season more and more with the brothers Fuentes and Newsman Bradley, and you football Americans.

Can't wait to talk to you next week.

Until then, thanks so much.

It's been a thin slice of heaven.

Hey, fun fact about your old pal Dave.

I like beer.

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