The Big Suey: Jeremy Gets De-Microphoned (feat. Adnan Virk)

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Welcome to the Big Sue,

presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys.

I've done it.

And now here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode has been zinced about DraftKings.

DraftKings, the crown is yours.

I have been spending this entire week in Miami.

As you know, I've been staring at Marlins Park.

And I have been wondering, not just proud of Marlins Park, but proud of the Marlins.

And I have been trying to figure out how to deal with MVP odds and our friends at DraftKings.

And the odds, they go up, they go down according to what people are betting.

Otani last night goes four innings pitched.

I'm Jeremy.

I'll talk about Otani every day now because he is the MVP and will win the MVP every year that he takes the mound and gets up at the plate.

He drove in two runs with the home run last night, gave up one in four innings pitched.

There's no player like him.

He's totally unprecedented.

Like, we talk about all of these great players in the history of baseball, but last night, the home run that he hit was 460 feet.

So he's doing that on the same night.

David already told us they make it up.

They don't even know.

The 460 is cool.

Statcast has real projections.

It's better.

It's better now, but not.

You used to make it up.

So you're masked.

Wait, so you're buying the Cal Raleigh, like, made it by a foot thing?

No.

Come on.

Not at all.

I mean, it just...

Jeremy's exasperated.

It's okay, Jeremy.

Don't be exasperated, but just know that that's...

We're allowed to be excited about things.

We got excited, and within five seconds, it became a debate about whether or not the home run is real.

That's all, Zaz.

I'm going to get back to Otani and tell you that when you sign a contract, and there was a big announcement yesterday in Boston that got my attention because I loved it so much, a young player, Roman Anthony, is going to sign a new deal.

But the maximum amount of the deal that was announced, $230 million, he has to win the MVP every year for the next nine years.

It's the stupidest thing in the history of contracts.

What's the floor of it?

130 million.

Not too shabby.

Not too shabby.

It beats Corbin Carroll.

It's pretty good.

But people are going around saying, oh, he's going to make $230.

And then they read the fine print.

He has to win the MVP every year for nine years to get $230.

Do you think that makes writers uncomfortable?

By telling you the fact that when you give, they want to give big numbers.

People love seeing big numbers.

But I mean, it makes writers uncomfortable.

Like if it's late in the season and, all right, he's in the MVP conversation.

he's in the race, and you're voting who to give the award to.

The NBA is the biggest thing because you can do all-NBA, right?

Right, and that's

it.

Yeah, so they put a $10 million bonus essentially every year on it.

It's plus and plus an all-star, but it's just stupid.

You're not going to get it.

I looked up longest home run hit by a pitcher.

You're going to like this one, Jeremy.

Hideo Nomo hit a 575-foot home run during the Japanese League All-Star game.

I mean, it's here.

No.

You think I just made that number up?

Right here.

Hideo Nomo, 575-foot home run, Tokyo Dome.

No.

Japanese All-Star.

Is there video?

1995.

Also, John Gray hit a 467-foot home run in 2017.

But how does that course feel?

Didn't Galaraga hit one that was like 500-something?

Upper, like the middle of the upper deck.

Yeah,

I think it was a harper legend that in high school he hit one 550 feet with the aluminum bat.

But, I mean, the craziest thing about the Otani thing last night is it's four innings, one run, eight strikeouts.

He hits a home run, drives in two, they lose five to three.

And that's with the Dodgers.

That sounds like what he used to do with the Angels.

To have that happen with the Dodgers, he is the MVP.

The real question becomes.

Well, the real question becomes like, who's second, who's third, who's fourth?

Because the National League has a bunch of really interesting candidates, ultimately including Kyle Stowers.

But Kyle Schwarber is probably going to be above him with good reason.

He has been unbelievable for free agents.

Yeah, what a year for him.

He's paid.

As he should.

Kyle Stowers.

Do you have him high in the MVP race?

Yeah, I think that Kyle Stowers absolutely deserves to be high in the MVP race.

He's third in the National League in OPS.

He's taken a team in the Miami Marlins that were not supposed to be all that much and really buoyed their lineup for the

huge portion of the year.

He has, I believe, three walk-off home runs.

He has multiple games where they won and he was the only guy driving in any runs.

He actually plays a position, unlike the two guys ahead of him in Shohei Otani and Kyle Schwarber, who are only designated hitters.

He's been pretty solid at that point.

You can't make that case for Otani.

No, Otani's different.

I said he's just weird.

A minute ago, we were crazy.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm saying

in terms of hitting, right?

It's a different thing.

And Otani is a freak all of his own, right?

He's at the beginning.

But then you start to get to Picro Armstrong, who hasn't had a great second half, the way he lit the world on fire at the beginning.

You get to Manny Machado.

I think that there's at least reason to consider a player like Stowers, although I know Adnan Virk totally disagrees with me.

Well, you know, Adnan is here, and I'm so thankful to have him on our show.

Hello, Adnan.

It's really

on the show.

I just want to congratulate you being welcomed back to Miami.

That was a great story.

The president was reaching open arms to have you back there.

I still want to hear more about the nude beach with Larry Beinfest, if you don't mind.

Well, that, listen, I can't disclose more than that, except to tell you that it wasn't, it didn't suck.

And I did have my eyes up more than not because it's critical at a nude beach where your eyes are.

But Adnan, you're coming here, and I would love to just talk about movies with you.

Please, peak a gun, David.

We're back.

We have a comedy in movie theaters.

This is amazing.

It's great.

Have you gone to the theater to see it?

I went opening night, David.

I took my 14-year-old son.

I said, buddy, I laughed uproariously when the first one came out.

He said, dad, what's uproarious mean?

I said, don't worry about it.

We're going to go watch this.

We're going to have a blast.

27 minutes of trailers, David.

Enough of the trailers and the commercials.

Please, can we stop?

AMC apparently now is, they just put out a statement yesterday.

They're going to start to work on this a little bit.

Thank God.

85-minute movie.

That's five minutes of credits.

It's a comedy actually in theaters.

Liam Neeson is fabulous.

As you and I know, Leslie Nielsen was a dramatic actor his entire career.

When he did The Naked Gun, it was a lark.

It was like, wait, he's going to do a comedy?

Similarly, Liam Neeson has such great gravitas.

We saw that in Schindler's List.

We've seen him be an action star.

Him doing a comedy comedy is absolutely brilliant.

It's great casting.

Him and Pamela Anderson have wonderful chemistry.

They've been canoodling together on the red carpet.

Not every gag works.

Okay, I get that.

There's some misses along the way.

It's not the original.

Of course, the original is an all-time classic, but it's very funny.

I know you're going to enjoy it.

Adan, did you show your son the original before you took him to this?

Zashlow, I did.

And there was a few questionable moments.

My wife was like,

that part.

I'm like,

gotta be a little quick on that one.

And I said to her, listen, the thing with the naked gun is there's no profanity, Sashlo, even in the new one.

one, there's not one four-letter word uttered, but there's sexually suggestive content here and there.

I think I cover his eyes for a sec.

But he did like the original a lot.

So you cover his eyes for the sex part, but not the violence part.

Is that, are we just clear that that's

where we're okay with violence?

And quite frankly, if there's a little bit of profanity, because we can't cover his ears that quickly, anything with sex, and I got to cover his eyes a little bit.

I, again, for the record, and I'm not going to make an issue like Mike did about this.

However, I don't get it.

I don't get Aden Adnan.

You're at a movie theater and there's about to be a pair of boobs and you're like, oh my God, stop the presses.

Wait a minute.

There's a machine gun that's killing someone.

Please,

it's a lot easier to explain to a kid that that's fake, that murder, that actually didn't happen.

Boobs, it's like, it's like a dick.

I don't want to have this conversation.

That nipple's real, Adnan.

Hey, it's Jeremy here.

I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I'm not quite someone who loves confrontation or fighting.

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Hey, it's Mike Ryan.

Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.

Time that we have with summer is dwindling.

I'm sure you're already doing that thing where you're going through your photo album, flipping through the photos that you've taken this summer, already reminiscing about the good times that you have.

I know I did.

And in many of the pictures that I went back to reminisce over, I had a beautiful white can of Miller light in my hand because I love making good times during the summer a Miller time.

And it's a good reminder: we're losing time on this summer.

So why don't you share the moments that you have with a white can of Miller Light like I have, whether it's a long weekend or a full-on vacation.

It is the perfect time to get the crew back together.

And since 1975, Miller Light has been the go-to way to stock the cooler and celebrate those moments.

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Don Lebatard.

I actually thought you looked kind of good.

Stugats.

Thank you.

The beard's grown out a little bit.

I got a little life in my face, I feel like.

A little tan.

Colorado, San Francisco.

Great time.

You got life on your face.

You've got death on your face.

I think you've got 40 to life on your face.

This is the Don Lebatar show with his two guys.

Do you believe that Kyle Stowers, do you know, Adnan, that Kyle Stowers was the throw-in in the Rodgers trade here in Miami?

Great story, David, as you know, is that everyone said, okay, hey, Michael Ias never wants to part with anybody.

Wow, he's giving up Norby.

Prize prospects.

He didn't get Rodgers.

Rodgers, as you know, was terrible last season, actually been pretty good this year.

He's Lykes out this year.

Right.

He's been very good.

So it's helped redeem that trade for Michael Ives.

But, yeah, Staurus is a throw.

And listen, I try to give love to my friends, right?

I know Jeremy does a phenomenal job of the pitch clock.

Quite frankly, he's keeping me in the MetalArc family by having me on the Pitch Clock once a month.

So I appreciate that.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, the hockey show.

Hey, the hockey show as well.

Thank you to Roy, both of us guys.

And the main show.

Other than that,

other than those three shows.

Appearance Coming to Nothing Personal.

And that's a full-time employee, actually.

Congrats on your co-hosting gig on Supodity.

I see you.

i appreciate that mike yeah stu is keeping me in the mix as well um back to jeremy i want to give a little love right it's like if university of miami hit a big win i would text mike rye hey congrats to you buddy so with tashay i text him like hey man stowers 25 home runs first homer off the lefty his response david was stowers should absolutely be second or third in mvp voting do i have to come down there and smack the south florida out of him i love pal stowers it's a great story i'm rooting for the marlins i interviewed yuri perez at mlb tonight this week which i also texted jeremy about luis the translator fantastic I told Yuri Perez, I said, yonder Alonzo, fellow Miami guy, said that Yuri Perez reminds me of an eel.

In 20 plus years of broadcasting, Yuri, I've never asked other man this.

If you were a fish, what kind of fish would you be?

Yuri laughs and says, I'd be a whale because I'm huge.

So I don't know if he's a humpback or a beluga whale, but I love Yuri Perez.

I love what the Merlins are doing.

But Stowers is not second or third in MVP voting.

Otani, Machado, Schwarber, PCA.

There's a ton of other Juan Soto, Pete Alonzo.

There's a lot of guys ahead of him.

It's the Machado one that really kills me and PCA.

If you look at weighted runs created plus, Jeremy.

No, I mean,

what do we care about in this thing?

Okay, you want batting average?

You want batting average?

We could do batting average and home runs.

Give me orders for that.

How about this?

There's two guys in baseball hitting over 290 in terms of batting average with 25 or more home runs.

You know who they are?

Kyle Stowers and Aaron Judge.

Those are the only guys in baseball.

If you look at weighted runs created plus, he's fourth in the National League.

He's sixth overall in Major League Baseball.

Machado, 13th.

PCA, 25th.

Now, understandably, both of those guys are elite defensively at their positions.

Machado, not the same way that he used to be.

And I know what Adnan Verk's going to say.

He's going to say, hey, since 1997, the Padres haven't had a guy to lead the league in hits.

Not since Tony Gwynn.

You know who has a better batting average?

Kyle Stowers.

He's been better on a team where for half the year, they couldn't figure out who to put behind him in the lineup.

He had guys like Matt Mervis, who's been DFA'd since then, hitting behind him.

And on the Padres, there are real guys hitting behind him.

PCA has Kyle Tucker hitting behind him.

Kyle Schwarber even, he's been spectacular.

Obviously, he should be above.

To me, offensively, his value board is there.

Kyle Tucker is better than him.

In terms of the statistics, in terms of the impact, Kyle Stowers has led a team that everyone anticipated being one of the two to three worst teams in Major League Baseball.

to the level of success where they're six games behind the San Diego Padres for a wild card spot.

They have an opportunity with a crazy road trip coming up five games in four days in atlanta three games against the red hot guardians three games against the red sox if they can get through that and get back home and kyle stowers continues to be on fire i just think the deeper we get into this he's gonna get he should get the type of consideration to be second or third in mvp he really should he really should i understand why otani's always gonna be number one he should be right what he did last night is ridiculous he's always going to be there and for that matter Kyle Schwarber, ridiculous year.

He's been unbelievable.

I am having a tough time after those two finding anyone that should 100%

be voted for above Kyle Stowers.

I really do.

What keeps me desponding about that whole diatribe is watching Billy and Mike just disinterested.

This is their team.

I've been part of the chat where I've been seeing people saying Kyle Stowers should be serious in the MVP conversation.

I'm like, okay, this is a little ridiculous.

Even Billy, who is an avid Marlinson.

Yeah, it is a bit ridiculous.

I don't understand why.

Well, I mean, because.

Snower's got a top 10 MVP vote.

That would be a remarkable achievement.

Oh, he's

just named

top five, top seven, but like the idea that he's going to make a serious run.

All right, you want another one?

You want another one to back it up?

Let's do it one more time.

It's okay.

No, I'd rather talk about Eddington.

Okay.

They have a losing record.

But let's talk about wrestling on what streaming program it's on for another hour.

Uh-oh.

Wow, Mike.

It's our local team.

That was the local hour, right?

Another week and a half before we see Jeremy again.

Yeah, I'll never be back here.

Really, something.

I'm just excited about our local team.

I have lost control, Adnan.

You come on here, and this is what the issue is.

We're trying to make you a part of our great family while you're swiping at our toes.

Tyler's also like, he's had a good thing's up against Samson.

I apologize.

He's had a good month and a half, which is why he's in all these conversations.

He had a really, really great two months to start the year, then had 30 games where he didn't hit a home run.

He was awful, and we all thought that, all right, it was a fluke.

And then over 33 games, home runs, RBIs.

Did you just demicrophone him?

Is that it, Mike?

Turned it off.

That's what we call it.

So we're now...

Oh, is this?

I call it demicrophoned.

Demicrophoned him.

I like it.

I think that's a word.

Virk, you said something that bothered Zaz, and I want to make sure that I have it right.

Did you say Superman sucked?

Oh, yeah, I thought it was terrible.

Badnan.

Oh, come on.

I like that.

I like that.

But let's hear the sink.

Yeah, Zaz, I'm so excited to go see it.

I said, I see the trail.

I got to take my kids.

Here we go.

First, I don't want to sound just like Francesa because somebody sat with the eight and a half minute rant.

I said, I'm not going to watch this.

With respect to Mike Francesa, I don't need to see his movie opinion.

It's like, no, you got to see this.

I got to be honest.

Mike Francesa said more right than long in his review.

What's with the dog?

Enough with the dog.

I don't care about crypto.

I said, the whole movie's about the dog.

Also, my main issue, Zaslow, way too much of Mr.

Terrific.

And I know James Gunn did it.

He was one of the highlights highlights of the movie.

Now, Gunn did a great job with Guardians of the Galaxy because you have all these different characters.

And I get that.

There's a myriad of options you can root for.

Fantastic.

First Guardians was fabulous.

But in Superman, I want Superman.

It's a Superman movie.

I want to see Superman against Licks Luther.

I don't want Mr.

Terrific hijacking, as you said, one of the best sequences of the movie.

Why is he being featured?

He's Lois Lane's running shotgun, Mr.

Terrific.

It was ridiculous.

I'm stunned.

I'm stunned.

I described being Superman.

I'm stunned with this.

I don't know the last time I enjoyed a movie as much as I enjoyed Superman.

I had a smile on my face, Adnan, the entire movie, the entire time I was on the theater.

I love that movie.

You didn't have fun watching that movie?

I was introduced to Mr.

Terrific.

I thought that was a good idea.

He did a great job.

Look, I know the Superman character and I know its limitations.

So I like being introduced to other characters that have a little bit more depth to them.

And by the way, the dog was a great awesome decision because people struggle to find connection points to Superman.

We've seen the story so many times, and he's perfect.

He's got the one weakness, but everyone loves a dog.

And that really helped endear this character in ways that, quite frankly, Warner Brothers has really struggled to do with since Christopher Reed.

And did you least like David Cornet's one?

Couldn't disagree with Mike Morris.

To me, it felt like such an obvious attempt to play to the young audience, to kids, and to every dog over out there.

It has nothing to do with the movie.

It doesn't help the movie at all.

It doesn't help the narrative.

It's just ridiculous.

Oh, there's a dog.

We'll cheer for the dog.

He may be a dog.

He may not even be a good dog, but he's alone and he's scared.

Mike, I also didn't cried.

I also didn't think the guy was a great Superman.

I'm not saying everybody asked me a question.

I don't think he's got charisma.

He was solid.

He was solid.

Superman's a tough role to have charisma for him.

I thought he was a great Superman.

I thought he was really good.

I appreciate the perspective.

I really do.

At least Mike and I can agree in Eddington.

Can we talk Ari Astor?

Oh, the Master of Horror, even though he doesn't describe himself as a horror guy.

Now, Eddington, not a horror.

It seems as though Ari Astor wants to be a dark comedy guy.

And Eddington, I have this theory at Nan that is going, the movie is going to blow up when it hits the streamers for word, like exclusively word of mouth, because of how perfect this movie presented that whole very confusing time in COVID.

It's about COVID,

early stages of COVID in a New Mexico town, and it is an equal opportunity offender.

I think some of the biggest laughs were from the jokes at at the progressives' expense.

And then, as Ari Astor is wanting to do,

he does his twist.

Hell of a left hook then.

He does his twist and may lose people because of that twist, like often his movies do to certain segments of the population.

But I thought it was a great movie.

I thought it was really funny, a really good dark comedy.

Yeah, I liked it a lot with you as well.

Listen, the twist didn't necessarily work for me.

It went in a much, much darker, more severe tone, but I appreciate Ari Astor has a singular vision.

He makes movies like nobody else does out there and the first step i thought was laugh out loud funny like mike said guys i'm not the first guy online to see a coveted comedy i'm like we have to live through the process i'm not sure how much more could be said about it but it's particularly skewing towards the left which i thought was really well done and well charmed and scathing and great performances as well from joaquin phoenix and pedro pascal i really enjoyed it although i do kind of to mike's hinting i wish he'd go back those movies he did at the beginning like i love hereditary i love midsummer i made those horror movies but was afraid I enjoyed it was certainly a good experiment and I did like Eddington, but I'd love to see him bog back those horror movies, but a different movie to see at the multiplex.

Can I interest you in Augustine Ramirez's rookie of the year at least?

Because three multi-home run games,

two multi-soul and base games thus far in 89 games of his career.

The first guy to do that.

All righty.

Back to you.

I did hear Billy mention that the other day.

Listen, I love Drake Baldwin.

I push for him for the Braves.

And if Miserowski gets some more starts, obviously in the IL, but Augustine Ramirez has been great, no question.

Adenan, I am very excited for a movie that is coming out this week, and Mike's into it also.

I've been looking forward to this movie for months now.

I already have my tickets.

We're going tomorrow afternoon.

Me and my boys, we love horror films.

Are you interested in weapons?

I'm not as much of a horror guy as you, Zaz, so I am not running out to get tickets or taken, my boys.

But listen, I'm intrigued by it.

Certainly anything is better than War of the Worlds and ice cream.

I heard you guys discussing that, the 2% Rotten Tomatoes per meter.

Shout out to David, by the way, who wanted the IMDb score.

Cody kept wanting to give him Rotten Tomatoes.

David's going, oh, I want the IMDB score.

Is it under four or not?

Anyways, needless segue.

I'm not seeing weapons.

I hope you enjoyed, Zaz.

I'm sure it'll be good.

Wow, Mike, he's not going to see weapons?

I mean, it's got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

It's got a good cast.

It's got...

Oh, Zaz.

Don't you want to know why?

Do you want to know why the kids are leaving?

Don't you want to know?

It's 2.17 a.m.

in the middle of the night and the kids are running out of the homes.

They're never coming back.

Don't you want to know why?

2.17 a.m.

is the middle of the night, Zaz.

You don't have to say 2.17 a.m.

in the middle of the night.

Well, maybe, you know, again, Lord's time zone.

No, Lord's time.

It's still 2.17 a.m.

I want to know when Eddington is streaming because that's what I've been waiting for.

And I want you, you get worked up about not able to find your NFL.

And then what works me up is I have to go look around at every streamer and see when Bad Shabbos is going to start streaming.

Aren't you a SAG member?

Why don't you get

screeners?

Yeah, I get the screeners.

Yeah, no, David, weren't you in Dumb and Dumb or something?

No, what was it?

These were the three Stooges.

I was not a SAG member, though.

I'm joining a union shortly.

Okay.

We can talk about that.

that's a little spoiler alert just to go in and test it from the inside maybe break it up old trojan horse i want to go to david's point but when something is not streaming david are you like me you get so frustrated you go fine screw it i'll buy it i want to watch barney's version with paul giamati it's not streaming i'll pay twenty dollars i'll get the physical media and i'll put it in my dvd player and enjoy the blu-ray do you do that i except i don't have a blu-ray player or a dvd player anymore are you excited are you going on a book tour I am.

Thank you for mentioning, buddy.

Cinephile is the book.

It's coming on August 26th.

It's available right now.

Mango Publishing publishinggroup.com, which of course published Greg Cody's books.

So they're there in Miami.

Shout out to Hugo.

You can go to amazon.com, wherever books are sold.

August 26th, the book comes out.

And yes, I'll be on tour.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Me and David Sampson together in New York City.

We shall see.

I can only imagine how great it will be to read all of Adnan's movie views and views on life because he's Adnan, Zaz, and his opinions, frankly, are more important with movies than yours.

It's not a competition, you know?

It's always a competition.

All right.

Adnan, thank you.

Thank you, David.

And one last shout out, too.

Listen, people forget the fact Samson's loyalty is to Wisconsin.

How about the Brewers?

Best team in baseball.

Pat Murphy, he's eating pancakes out of his pocket.

Love it.

Go Brew Crew.

Adnan just had to get that in.

Can't wait for him to be as right about the MVP stuff as he was about predicting the Diamondbacks and Royals to go to the World Series at the beginning of the year.

That's tough, though, Jeremy.

Don't do that.

Don't be that guy.

Come on.

Who is your pre-speaker?

I'm playing around.

I didn't pick anybody.

That's why I shove it off on you guys.

Easy to pick.

Oh, of course.

I'm just having some fun.

It's not right.

It's just not right.

It's not right for me to have fun right now.

I apologize for having fun, Jeremy, right now.

I apologize.

I'll look directly at the camera.

I apologize for having enthusiasm and having fun.

I want to count.

He looks great, though.

Look how thin he looks.

Remember all the fish we made fun of him for cooking and like it's paying off.

All the healthy lunches.

His arms are incredibly shiny.

He looks sick.

Just amazing.

Thanks.

I will say this, David.

Right before the show came in, we were complimenting him saying, you look good.

He's like, yeah, I feel great.

I go, that's going to change real soon.

Yep.

1001 a.m.

and it's totally.

I go, that's going to get used to that feeling.

That's going to change about 20 minutes.

A week and a half away from this place.

He said

he's got a little thinner for health purposes and not to look better.

It is.

I was like, you liar.

No, genuinely.

You know that you're on TV now.

Well, yeah.

But also, I spent three years ballooning on TV.

And it was partially

because of unhealthy habits and stress and probably being bullied.

His doctor said has your heart been bullied

I believe it's more like your candy cabinet but in any case one of the fast food fast food that's yeah the getting out of games at midnight and going oh shoot I haven't had dinner just like can you let's all close our eyes just like give your order what you do at like 1 a.m.

Wherever you are just like say it to the to the restaurant double large fries.

Large coke zero.

This was a good bit.

Why are we closing our eyes for this?

Because I just want to visualize Jeremy at like 1 a.m.

after a heat game, just like a sad Wednesday.

Yeah, I've got sleeves rolled up from the button-down shirt, the tie a little bit loose, driving through the drive-thru, of which I'm certainly the only person dressed that way at 12.30 in the morning.

A.M.

Let me give you a word of advice.

If you're going to be in the baseball world, and this just comes from experience, you cannot give in to eating after games like that.

No,

you cannot.

I don't because of my health.

It became a problem.

And so now I'm trying to be healthy.

And I get the added benefit of the vain side.

The problem was, is you said that you don't like to eat before a broadcast.

Like, you don't want to be full.

So it's like, if you don't eat before, you're going to decide to power through that.

It's really because you don't want to make duty during the game.

That is part of it.

He also got caught on during a heat game.

Like, oh my God, it was the worst.

Well, you shouldn't eat when you're on TV.

However, I will tell you that the baseball time clock is if you're going on the air at 6 p.m.

for a seven o'clock game, generally about 4.42, you put a bite in, you eat a little bit, and then you power through, but you eat a good breakfast.

Yeah, that's basically what I've been doing at this point, is like either an early lunch or a late breakfast.

I'm sure the audience is really intrigued by the timing of when I'm eating.

I just want you to know that you look great.

Thank you.

And you're doing that, and I'm sorry that you come in here and all of a sudden you're having a bad day.

Oh, I'm having a great day.

You guys just told me that I look great.

I didn't bring fish.

A little turkey sandwich.

Okay, I need to get back to smelling salts because I don't understand why we don't have them.

Avoiding salt on my food as well.

We have everything.

We have costumes.

We have love.

We've got all of these little games and gimmicks.

We have ad nan speaking incorrect grammar, a myriad of.

We don't have smelling salts.

And the reason I'm obsessed with it is that the NFL went backwards all the show yesterday.

And the problem is when we do shows, they stay forever.

But we do a show saying smelling salts are banned.

And it turns out they're not banned.

One day later.

I'll be honest.

I thought they were banned.

Like, I thought smelling salts had been gone, except for hockey.

I thought they'd been gone for a while.

If I understood this story correctly, I believe this is George Kittle's fault.

So I think George Kittle decided to break the news that smelling salts were banned, and then the NFL PA or the NFL or someone came out and clarified it.

So they're not banned.

You just have to bring your own smelling salts moving forward.

Like, David, that's a liability issue is what they're doing.

This is what we did with tobacco in baseball.

And it's total horse hockey because we did give players tobacco.

We just couldn't do it overtly.

We just would hide the cans in a different place.

So there's no reason to believe these NFL teams are not still going to have smelling salts available.

We can't get them ourselves.

We've been efforting all morning.

How do you think the players are going to do it?

In plantation?

Well, it's one of those things where you can do it.

It's pretty easy on Amazon.

We're trying to get it this morning and our local CVS didn't have it, so we're efforting.

I'm just saying that the players will not be bringing their own smelling salts to games.

Have you ever tried smelling salts?

I've never.

I've never either.

I'm too scared.

There's a whole lot of stuff I haven't tried.

And And I don't mean like skydiving.

I like skydiving, but I'm talking about like smelling salts or drugs of most kinds.

I did it a few weeks ago on my dad's podcast randomly.

It came up before this was even a story.

My dad brought it up.

It came up randomly.

Like you're in the middle of conversation.

It came up on one episode on the podcast and we were like, let's order it.

And the next week we did it and it was terrible.

I hated it.

Yeah, bad.

Did it cause you to have a...

I'm not even sure.

I got the full experience because I hated it so much, but I got like a few whiffs and it just like, it stayed with me for like an hour.

It was terrible.

I hated it.

Have you guys seen those, I think they're called boomsticks that they sell?

I've considered buying them.

Yeah, I have that.

How does that work?

And what's the difference between like smelling salts and that?

Because that, like, I think it was like introduced to most people on like shark tank or like shark tank clips that go out there.

Now they sell them like at the airport.

It's basically like a nasal, like, it looks like a chapstick that you stick up your nose and you just take like a whiff and it clears you all the way up.

I had those back in the old studio.

And they worked.

Yeah.

I liked having them in my car.

what it worked if it was a late night and i would get a little drowsy at the wheel i'm like oh i'm a little tired but what does this do yeah

what it's kind of like a little slap in the face but like it clears up you're like like if you're sick it clears you up or it gives you like an energy shot like i don't know what they it's kind of like i just see it and i see like uh robert hirsh of whatever his name is go

and he has like a crazy face i'm like dude i think you ever smell vivapudo right now what if like they put a little vivap on your chest it's kind of like i'm sorry

um gentlemen what

are you not describing afrin i don't know what it is that's what i'm asking.

I don't know what it is.

I don't know.

It's a boost.

I don't know what it's called.

I just like what it does.

This can't be happening to me.

I'm not allowing this as.

If you don't pack me up here, we're in a fight.

If you're telling me you don't know what affrin is, it's a nasal spring.

It can't be.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You stick it up your nose.

It's like addicting, right?

It's one of those things you do it.

You don't let your kids do it.

It can ruin your nasal.

Once you start doing it, it clears you up.

Then you'll need it

worse the next day.

It's one of those things.

I'm not trying to do it.

It's like the chiropractor.

I never been.

Once you go, you got to keep going back.

Yeah, we'll do it.

It says simple ingredients, essential oils, and menthol inhaler.

That's the affrin or that's the boomstick.

That's a boomstick.

You definitely smell the menthol.

I want to go back to me looking great for a second.

Of course.

I think that even when I was weighing a little bit more, I looked great because it's most important that what's going on in the inside.

All right, back to you guys.

No, no, no, no, because it's really important because I don't want anybody in our audience to feel like if they've gained a little bit of weight in recent times, that they should still feel good about themselves.

No, you should still feel great about yourself, regardless regardless of what your weight is, so long as your health is intact.

There's a whole lot of people who are in the world.

I don't want us or anybody else.

I understand

that

that should be where we are because it's really impacted my mental health, and I don't want it to impact anybody else's.

I put too much weight into my literal weight, and I don't want anyone else to do that.

So, yeah, I look beautiful, but I would have looked beautiful if I was, you know,

a lot heavier.

We get it.

Yeah, no, I'm making fun of Fatty.

Got it.

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Don Lebatard I went in the margins I'm like I'm like you're money ball of sex I'm basically Scott Hatter a lot of

stugats a lot of walks but I'm on base

when it comes to sex a lot of foul

other other dudes they can be Giambi

you know your role you play with I know my role this is the Don Lebatar show with the stugats

It has menthol, eucalyptus oil, and peppermint oil in it.

Oh, man.

I don't think that seems healthy to me.

I prefer not to do smelling salts, boomsticks.

There was a story I heard when you guys did your pirate ship when you didn't invite me.

The story of having people do smelling salts or something.

I can't remember what it was, but I don't want to be a part of that.

While I'm in the chair, if you want to do it tomorrow,

I bring in smelling salts to your heart's

content.

Yeah, I would try it.

I think that you could end up like Lloyd Bridges.

I don't know what that is.

I'm a little bit more.

Airplane?

Thank Thank you.

Oh, with the hair.

Okay, very good.

Lloyd Bridges, he sniffed.

I picked the wrong one.

We just stopped sniffing glue.

The ones that I had, it like affected the whole room.

Like if Zaz did it, you would feel it too.

Smelling salts?

Some secondhand salts.

Maybe I did it poorly.

I like opened up the container and it just, if like if my wife walked into the room like an hour later and she's like, what?

I'm like, sorry, I did.

I love the idea of leagues covering up their players' concussions.

I love when boxers do it between rounds.

I love when NFL players do it.

I love when you get knocked to the ground.

You do a little smelling salt and you come up and boom, you're good to go.

I'm fairly certain it is banned in boxing.

It's smelling salts.

I don't think boxing allows it.

But I was wrong, apparently, with the other sports.

Like, it's been legal.

I thought Mike Tyson used to do it all the time.

Oh, but I mean, it got banned eventually.

Like, yeah, I'm sure he did do it at one point, but boxing does not allow it.

I think that's a mistake.

I think sports are worse off for not allowing.

I think steroids, smelling salts, let everyone do everything.

What's the actual difference?

I mean, I'm okay.

If everyone can do everything,

they stopped a sport that was going to happen.

Did you guys read about this?

I mean, this would be, I wanted Billy to actually do this, where you participate in Olympic events on steroids.

It's called the steroid games.

Okay, hold on.

Let's just rewind it.

You want me to take steroids and do the Olympic events?

Because you're an athlete.

You say that you can kick field goals.

You can hit

fastballs.

You can catch flyballs.

You can tackle players.

You've told me you can do all these things.

No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can kick a field goal.

I can hit off a baseball.

No, this side of the room can do all of those things.

I'm very aware of my very precipitous decline in athleticism and really just health in general.

I mean, Jeremy on the other end, we were bookheading, bookending these two great athletes here as like two chubbos, but now Jeremy's gotten in shape and I look like shit still.

So like I'm on an island over here.

I can't do anything.

I can barely tie my shoes.

Well, if you took steroids.

I've thought about that.

You'd you'd be able to do everything where do you think you would get them if you thought about where you would acquire them it's miami there's a gym i used to go to that i'm pretty sure a lot of people were doing steroids because it was like this little mom-and-pop gym and they had like a whole room was just like mirror walled and this was like you know i was like fresh out of high school at the time when i was going there honestly the best gym i ever went to these boutique gyms the la fitnesses of the world where it's all just pish posh and let me be vain this is like real like you're on there meat and potatoes type gym And then, like, people would just go disappear behind this mirror wall.

And I was like, what the hell's going on?

Like,

what air conditioning back there?

Like, what's happening?

And then, like, because I was young and naive, and I quickly realized, oh, they're probably just all shooting up steroids because they'd go in there, like, two at a time, and then come back out a couple minutes later.

And I was like, all right, well.

Okay,

let's say that's accurate what you're saying.

What would you do?

Oh, I couldn't get steroids.

But, like, would you walk up to them and you're just like, yo, you got them royalty?

No, I couldn't if I wanted to.

Like, we've gone over a number of times.

Like, my barber thought that I was a police officer.

I don't give off like I can go obtain illegal things easily.

I'm not, I don't, I don't look like someone that people could trust with.

Well, what if right before you ask them if they got them Reids?

What if right before that, like, you know, you snort a line?

You're like, oh, this guy, I mean, he's...

They're not doing that at the gym.

Well, there's a mirror wall.

I'm telling you.

They're not doing, how do you do cocaine on a wall?

You know, you go behind the mirror wall.

And then there's another world back there.

And then they come back up.

Yeah, come on, man.

Billy doesn't give off drugs.

We used to have to walk from the Clevelander to like the 7th Street garage, like three blocks.

I would daily get offered drugs on the walk just because of my look.

Daily?

No one offered to sell me drugs before.

It was so insulting.

I would get the...

Weed, Coke.

As, like, as I'm walking by someone, like, every day, and, and I would tell them, Billy's like, I never did get off.

It was so insulting.

Like, no one thinks I could be addicted to drugs.

I don't, like, come on.

Look at me.

Jeremy, you got it?

That happens

all the time.

Were the choices only wheat and coke?

Mike, would you get it?

That was what I heard.

Yeah.

No, I never got offered.

Wow, Roy?

Yes.

Yeah.

I've never been offered any of that stuff except the one time that I was at a bachelor party in Costa Rica.

You sure got offered?

That doesn't count.

Good golly.

Come on.

So, what I view that as not.

Your generation ruined that for ours.

We can't go to Costa Rica, can't go to Colombia.

If you say, oh, there's a bachelor party in Colombia or Costa Rica, you'll get, hell no, I know what happens.

I have some friends that do scary things there.

What does that mean?

I've never gone.

You can kill a guy.

Wait, hold on.

What does that mean?

Do you scary things?

I'll tell you off air.

If you want to kill a guy, you can kill a guy.

I didn't do that.

It's like hostile.

But I will say that.

It's heard.

It's very overwhelming.

It may be the only time that I was happily in a pool with other people.

Wait, what?

Normally I'm not happy, but in a Costa Rican bachelor party at a pool, there's just a lot going on.

And so you're in the pool, and I got past all of my German.

Why is Andy Slater always in Colombia?

I'm not answering that.

I bet you could ask him yourself, but I believe that why, hey, if you got him, you have him smoke them.

Did you play the pee-pee game in the pool?

No.

Did they pee in the pool?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are they going to do?

Come on, man.

Just tell us.

It's fine.

No, it's Costa Rica.

Anything goes.

Where you can be a 65-inch Jewish-looking middle-aged guy, and there are people saying, wow, you're super attractive.

And would you like drugs?

It's always weird when you say you're heightened inches.

Jews are attractive.

I can't figure that out.

Don't say 65 inches.

That's how tall I am.

Just say whatever you are.

12 inches and a foot.

Yeah, 12 times.

You can do it, Mike.

I believe in you.

5'5?

Yeah, you got it.

I know you think it sounds better.

It doesn't.

Just say 5'5.

I think so.

Excuse me.

65 inches sounds taller than 5'5.

65 inches sounds like you might be in a six-foot range.

You start tricking people.

You're just whole.

Someone thinks you're saying 6'5 ⁇ .

No, it's not only they measure babies in months.

Hey, how many months old are you?

My child is 26 months.

Don't get me started on the weeks.

Yeah, yeah.

Babies and weeks, I just

check out.

Yeah, don't.

My child is 161 weeks.

I mean, it's absurd.

If you say 53 weeks, like your baby's almost one.

If you're 53 weeks, you're over.

You're over one, yeah, but that's close.

Like over three.

This is why you say years.

This is why you go years.

This is why you embarrass yourself in front of Jeff Conan yesterday.

That one's sad.

one what a great he he texted me about it he said was cody doing show i don't think he knows my name he knows no he doesn't now i know you're lying no he knows exactly did he have a good time it didn't seem like it he loved it i didn't he seemed not he's hard to read yeah he's just very he that's how he played except when he his frustration would come out he'd bend his helmet the ears until they'd snap yeah but he wouldn't you know he he was very

i don't think tense he didn't like my joke where i was like josh beckett we should have saved him for game seven he also didn't like me saying, hey, that great NLCS game that you had, you had a pretty bad game prior to the game-winning game.

That was an interesting tack that you took.

That was bad.

Bo for one with a ground into a double play.

It's a story of perseverance.

I think what you said was you had a really terrible game.

Yeah, look.

Runs were at a premium.

All right.

He got the game-winning hit,

but he also grounded into a double play and got picked off at second.

That's pretty bad.

I don't know if this would shock you, but there are people who come to your atmosphere and don't actually enjoy it.

I was paying him a compliment and also doing a show.

Also,

I had heard that he was in

the area of Adrian Peterson when he came in the handshakes.

So when he showed up in those jeans with the tucked-in polo and jeans, I'm like, this guy's going to try to rip my hand off.

I got to give him the business.

I dominated that handshake.

Yeah.

I'm surprised he didn't just give you knuckles.

It was underwhelming, guy.

It was underwhelming, the handshake.

Just because I thought it was going to be amazing.

Hey, it's Mike Ryan.

Those sprinklers are starting to slowly come up on the football field.

Time that we have with summer is dwindling.

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