Hour 2: Remember COVID? (feat. Amin Elhassan)

Alright, Smirnoff.

Official vodka of the NFL, the world's number one vodka.

Here's the deal: game day is everything.

The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.

Smirnoff belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff.

Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

They've been doing this since 1864, which is.

I don't even want to do the math.

A long time.

They're award-winning, they make cocktails super easy, and they're all about bringing fans together.

So yeah, we do game days.

That's their thing.

And if you're over 21, you should too.

Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to Smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day.

Please drink responsibly.

Smirnoff, number 21 vodka, distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume.

The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York.

Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.

Are you coming off a losing fantasy week?

That means you're one week closer to losing your league and that's pretty stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding.

Dentech's mouth guards help with nighttime teeth grinding.

Dentech wants to prevent teeth grinding while raising the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment.

If you want your league's last place finisher to live in infamy at the 2026 Football All-Star Game, sign up for the ultimate fantasy football punishment at dentech.com slash ultimate punishment.

No purchase necessary.

Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S.

states and DC who are 21 years of age or older.

Contest ends on December 8th, 2025.

Voidwear prohibited.

For details and official rules, visit dentech.com slash ultimate punishment.

Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.

In the car,

gym,

even sleeping.

So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live.

She saved so much, she got a seat close enough to actually see and hear them.

Sort of.

You were made to scream from the front row.

We were made to quietly save you more.

Expedia, made to travel.

Savings vary and subject to availability, flight inclusive packages are at all protected.

This is the Dan Labator Show with the Stoogats Podcast.

I know that you guys don't want to talk about anything but football, but Amino Hassan is going to be here in a moment with some of his weekend observations.

I still don't think we've gotten appropriately to the story about Gator player spits on someone, and that's the reason that they lose as an 18-point favorite to South Florida at home.

Were there three spitting incidents last week?

Well, four if you count Dak Prescott,

if you make it two separate spitting incidents, but yes, it's a little bit strange to have four of these spitting incidents in

10 days.

If you're the Eagles coach in the next team meeting with Jalen Carter, are you like, see what you did?

Now the Gators are doing it.

See the imprint that you have on these kids?

Negative role model.

I don't think that came up.

Be better.

It's a coaching moment.

Remember, like, COVID?

Yeah, that's good.

Imagine spitting on people during COVID.

It's a good point, but we don't have time for it because we've got to move to all the other things happening all across sports and community.

I think you go to jail if you spit on someone during COVID, right?

Like, actually, I think you would have gone to jail if not prison.

It's always true.

Yeah, that's true.

Put it on the poll, Juju at Lebatard show.

Would you have gone to prison if you had spit on someone during COVID?

We can't get to that.

No, we don't have time for that.

But just if we're going to just glance through tennis and oh, what, an all-time great set?

Everyone's better than him now.

Okay, let's just move on.

How about NASCAR?

Mike, where's your gear head?

Get the gear head, put it on.

You'll have one chance at this because we've got too much to talk about today.

So you're going to have to do it like they do with the cars in that sport fast.

Okay, Denny Raymond.

That's the best story in motorsports right now because not only is he suing NASCAR, but he's also an active driver.

And he's a driver

trying to chase down his first ever NASCAR championship.

That's right.

Denny Hamlin's been a name that you've probably known tangentially with that sport for 20 plus years.

He's won Daytona a few times, but he's never won the big one, the big one being a championship.

He won the race yesterday, gave another trademark heelish speech, but there might be anti-hero vibes here for Denny Hamlin because he's trying to reform the sport, a sport that does need reforming and he's going to do it potentially by winning this championship and demanding he be heard.

Here's Denny Hamlin after winning the most recent NASCAR race.

Y'all can boo me, but you can either get on the bandwagon or you can get run over by it.

You still love the booze?

Bring them.

Bring them all.

The lame trash dog.

You think that's lame?

That's iconic.

The guy is suing NASCAR.

He's like, either get on the bandwagon or get run over it.

What do you, Chris?

He is in full villain mode.

You don't like when a guy is challenging everyone in his sport to a fight?

Just seemed kind of lame to me.

Like, oh, get on board or get run over.

You're kind of lame to me.

That is

so badass.

He's suing NASCAR.

He doesn't want to talk about anything except football.

What's a lawsuit about?

Yeah.

Charters.

Because they're not.

Charters.

Yeah, we went over this during the Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan's among the teams suing NASCAR right now because the charter system is unfair.

You essentially pay a franchise fee and it puts you in the hole.

It's impossible to make money in this sport.

Michael Jordan's fine losing money, but he's not being fine with your disrespect.

And Denny Hamlin's not fine with it either.

Now, even though Denny Hamlin races for another team, Joe Gibbs Racing, he co-owns that team with Michael Jordan.

So he's trying to win this Cup Series for Joe Gibbs Racing, all while trying to fight for he and Michael Jordan's team to get access to charters and reform the sport.

It's incredibly brave, incredibly vulnerable, dangerous even.

In fact, some people were having fun with the fact that while he was crossing

the checkered flag, the feed actually cut out.

So you didn't get a great call of Denny Hamlin winning this race, but then he talked that shit afterwards.

Danny Hamlin becoming likable.

Why is he racing for someone else's team?

Like, if you own your own team, wouldn't winning a championship for yourself be better than winning one for someone else?

Boring suit.

Oh.

He needs to win as the driver, though, to cement his legacy as a fancy.

I want to apologize to you that you get so little support when you talk NASCAR right now.

It's NASCAR.

It's a Football Monday.

It's fine.

Let me charter.

You guys obviously weren't dialed into TV1, the Enjoy Illinois 300.

That was a TV one with sound for me.

I'm going to try with Amin El Hassan here in a moment to keep as much football out of this hour as I can because I'd like to have a show that is a little bit balanced, if we could, on these football Mondays as we get overrun.

Well, what are you thinking?

What have you got?

Football, football, football.

What shots have you not gotten off today?

I don't need to get off shots.

I'm just here to talk some football.

What do you want?

Football is back.

Jack stays back.

Thank you, Greg.

Greg gets it.

Football is back, Jack.

Damn, right.

Right.

Do you have anything other than that, though?

Like, if you want to talk football for real,

what have we not talked about that the Duke has not opined?

We talked about the Steelers already.

We talked about the Dawns.

Not looking to review what we have talked about.

we were talking about spitting we stopped talking about spitting for a little bit plenty of college going around the shoe-ables right around the corner we talked about that earlier there's football to be talked about there is but also uh there is to be talked about uh monday night tilt tonight jonathan zaslow's meteoric ascent through the uh priciest places in media entertainment he is flying first class yeah baby he is landing in suites he's sending me photos every time he lands in a suite i did he is getting giant rooms on the road because of how good his college football coverage is.

I will be honest, week one, my suite, it was a little too big,

but this week,

that was the right kind of, that was the right size suite.

How about first class?

What are the first class adventures you've been experiencing?

Very few people at ESPN get first class.

So I'm not a big first class guy my entire life, but I'm flying first class now.

Mike, I didn't appreciate you trying to call me out on my way to Dallas this weekend.

It didn't look like first class.

It wasn't first class.

Well, it wasn't because I was flying southwest.

Yeah.

I was sitting in the first place.

Was there a reason for that?

No, I mean, it was direct flight, so I flew southwest.

Is there a shortage of premium airliners flying from South Florida to Dallas?

It seems like

you wanted to go?

That's a hub city to hub city.

You understand that?

That's the time I wanted to go.

So I was sitting in the front seat in Southwest, but on the way back, I was sitting first class, or I wasn't on Southwest.

I was flying American on the way back, and I was sitting first class.

And let me tell you something.

This first class, pretty good.

Pretty good.

We're about to take off.

See, I'm not used to first class.

We're about to take off and the young lady, she comes up, goes, sir, can I get you a drink?

And I think about it for a second.

Before takeoff?

Before takeoff.

And I think about it for a second.

I'm like, yeah, whiskey.

On the rocks.

Let's get after it, you know?

Why the hell not?

You're not flying.

I'm not flying the plane.

And so I'm drinking my whiskey, you know, whatever.

And then like 25 minutes later, we're about to take off.

She comes up to me.

She's like, sir, I have to take your drink.

I'm like, oh, really?

I guess you can't have the drink while we're...

I'm not flying the plane.

Why can't I drink my drink while we're taking off?

Is something going to happen?

Is there going to be like...

You got to have your tray tables up.

So where's the drink go?

In my hand?

You got that nine arm.

They're not strapping my arms down.

They're usually not good with trusting you to do that the right way.

So, so she wants to take it.

So I take a huge gulp, obviously, Greg.

As one, I'm not trying to let the whiskey go away.

Yeah, you got to savor that.

It tastes so good when it touches my lips does she even know who you were when she took it from you who cares man she took it i don't think

she is mickey harison so i i take a huge gulp it doesn't you know it's not all of it i'm not trying to make the face when you take a big sip of whiskey you're like no i'm a grown up i'm a grown-up i don't make faces when i drink my whiskey and so i i give her back the drink is still a little bit of it left i'm a little bit annoyed you know i mean it's not her fault but i'm a little bit annoyed because like man like i'm you know i'm gonna pay for that drink and you're taking it from me i was a little bit annoyed and then right when we after we take off she comes right back up to me and she goes sir what brands were you drinking i'm gonna bring you another drink like oh hell yeah and i told her wood for reserve please

and that's when i realized oh i'm not even paying for these drinks they're just coming for free i didn't even know that and then she comes up to me a little bit after that like sir would you like dinner i'm like oh what do you have and so i order some kind of pasta salad i thought i was gonna get like some little bowl She brings me an entire plate.

I got this pasta salad.

I got a side of veggies.

I got another little salad.

I got a cake.

This plate was so big.

I had to move my iPad off my tray where I'm watching football to make room for this spread that she brought me.

This first class is incredible.

What are you?

Jed Clampett and Beverly Hills?

You've never flown first class before?

I had a great flight home.

This was was wonderful.

And then

look at old privilege over here.

He's talking to one of the original Beverly Hill Billies, the old guy.

But Greg Cody looking down his nose at others because

his wife's a law partner.

Not because the sports writers getting first class.

Did you hear about the cake?

He got cake at the bottom.

A little bit of a cake right there.

Okay.

A little bit of a cake right there.

What kind of cake?

I don't know.

It was some like honey BS.

I don't know, man.

It wasn't acid.

Free cake.

Yeah, it was that free cake.

First class,

and so, you know, I ate up all the food, and then they took my tray.

And then guess what happened next, Billy?

What?

She said, would you like another drink?

What?

You said no, thank you.

You're hammered at this point.

You're wrong about that, Billy.

I said, yes, I would like another, please.

So you have taken off, though.

You're in your first hour, and you're four whiskeys in.

Yeah, this is like the first 30 minutes.

I'm hammered, but, you know, 45 minutes into this flight, I'm having a great time.

Greg Cody, has the Miami Herald ever bought bought you a first-class flight?

Uh, no.

So, like, what are you saying that you've never flown first class?

Because he's excited about first class.

Why are you first-class shaming it?

I'm not, but you are.

You called him Jed Clampett, the original Beverly Hillbill.

I don't even know what that reference means.

I'm so happy for his success.

Thanks, man.

That sounded incredible.

He made first class seem like a place that, you know, that's goals, right?

I loved it.

I couldn't believe it.

Now, are you going to continue flying first class?

Well, it depends.

If it's available on the flight, like, it's not necessarily available on every flight that I choose, like, you know, my Southwest flight on the way there this weekend.

Because here, here's my question.

I don't mean to upset you potentially here, but

you're not exactly dressing first class.

Don't you worry about that.

I feel like when you go first class, you have to wear a certain, you have to have a certain look about you.

It's not a backwards heat hat

and a wrinkly t-shirt.

You'd be wrong.

Some guy in business attire with his laptop open.

I'm like, this guy's seen.

I think you need a sport coat with all due respect.

First class.

He knows what first class looks like.

You got to wear a watch.

Yeah, let me ask you a question.

Between all of us, this room and that room right there.

Who flew first class this weekend?

Raise your hand.

Oh, wow.

What a shocker.

I'm the only one with my hand raised.

So I'm pretty sure I know what you need to do

when you're in first class.

Everyone's wearing a watch in first class.

Nobody else flew this weekend.

This is a great breakdown of SMU Baylor.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show.

Is it okay?

to fall asleep last night with five minutes left in the Sunday night football game.

Howdy, folks, it's Mike Ryan.

It's also NFL season.

Lots of big-time matchups.

You know, your boy is an NFL free agent, so he's looking all across that NFL schedule for the very best games.

And when I do, my very first and only stop is the Game Time app because the Game Time app gives the advantage back to the fans.

It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps.

It's incredibly easy to use, and the Game Time Guarantee means that you can trust that you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and at the very best price.

Plus, fees are always included.

So what you see is what you pay.

You have incredible features such as zone deals.

You get to save even more when you choose a section and let GameTime choose the seats.

You get panoramic seat views.

If you know nothing about the venue you're about to buy tickets for, this is a huge tool.

Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime.

Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply.

Again, create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off.

Swipe, tap, ticket, go, download the GameTime app today.

What does Zinn give you?

Not just smoke-free nicotine satisfaction, but real freedom.

Freedom to do what you love and choose your rewards.

With Zinn Rewards, you can redeem points for premium tech, outdoor gear, and gift cards to your favorite retailers.

Find your Zen and keep finding rewards that fit your lifestyle at zinn.com/slash rewards.

Warning, this product contains nicotine.

Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

Hey, listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

Fishtail palms, great memories we made, kids playing in the pool, and in our hands, a nice ice-cold can of Miller Life.

It was so hot out.

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

We took that first sip.

It was crisp.

It was refreshing.

Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

Hell yeah.

We fist bumped.

Whether it's, we actually really did.

Whether it's that touchdown.

It didn't make a sound, but it just started.

Bam!

Boom.

Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups, you and I did plenty of that.

Miller Light has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years.

Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffee notes, and that iconic golden color.

And here's a kicker, Billy.

What?

It's just 96 calories.

What?

3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light, grape taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Don Lebatard.

My algorithm on Instagram is, dance, all boobs.

Stugats.

It's a good algorithm.

This is the Don Lebatard show with the Stugats.

Zaz, were you filling in for someone on Friday who just didn't go to work to cook?

Oh my God.

Yeah, well, I do every Friday night with Amber Wilson.

She hosts Amber and Ian on ESPN Radio.

That's Ian Fitzsimmons.

But I do the show with her on Friday nights because we travel and we do the show on location wherever we are.

But listen to this crap.

Ian Fitzsimmons lives in Dallas, Texas.

So instead of doing his show on Friday night, which I'm glad to do the show, I want to do the show.

But instead of doing the show that his name is on, he was cooking for everybody at ESPN Radio at his home, except for me and Amber.

We're working.

And he's cooking for everybody else.

That's how Freddie Fitz does it.

Everybody knows it.

That's not a real person.

That's why you're a bigger bigger star than Freddie Fitz.

And you'll always be a bigger star than Freddie Fitz.

Amin Alhassen is joining us now, and we're always delighted to see him.

We're going to get to his weekend observations in a second.

But before we do so, what can you update us on the Pablo Clippers beef?

We've left this behind, and it's still a giant story.

Pablo Torrey has the number one sports podcast in America right now because it's such a giant story and because he's so far ahead on this story.

Amin, you helped with the initial unveiling.

What have you found interesting about over the weekend, Clippers' reaction, everything happening around what appears to be a giant scandal now?

Like, because people are realizing, wait a minute, it's no matter what your cynicism you have, millions and millions of dollars for a no-show job is sort of beyond the pale on what we thought we were doing where we were skirting the rules.

Right.

I think, Dan, first of all, the idea that Pablo is kind of just shooting from his hip, which is what many people kind of initially came out.

Even the Clippers, their first statement said something like,

are easily provable or provably false or something like that.

And then, as Pablo noted, they put out a revised statement that sounded like the first one, except the words provably false was removed.

That's the lawyers.

The lawyers got in there like,

buddy, you guys cannot.

prove that these allegations are false at the very least.

Mark Cuban getting in a Twitter fight with Pablo and then basically Pablo having a bail on the live stream we were doing because Mark Cuban was like, he's ready to go right now.

And then Mark Cuban got on and

talked in circles.

Basically, his main point was, hey, rich people don't know how much money they have or how much money they're investing in stuff.

So that was interesting.

But the other thing, Dan, was all the text messages I got from people.

around the league in various capacities, team employees, former team employees, league execs, agents, and all of it was something along the lines of, yeah, this happens, but oh, I think they're screwed.

Because everyone sees it's not just the magnitude of the money, Dan, it's also the amount of stuff in writing that links all these parties together.

Mike, what are you guys laughing about back there?

That Mark Cuban took to social media to be like, hey, I talked in circles for an additional two hours.

Yeah.

Good at it.

This honestly was stunning to watch happen.

I mean, I don't know if you're informed.

I feel like you're super, super informed here, and you can allow people to see inside of what the second episode episode of Pablo Torrey finds out was, where Mark Cuban, armed with very few facts, underestimated the amount of information that Pablo had.

So Pablo's got all of this information that is not only credible, but just fair fact-finding.

And Cuban's response is some form again and again of, well, Steve Ballmer's not that dumb.

Right, but at the same time, almost infantilizing Steve Ballmer.

It's like, he was a victim.

He got taken advantage of and pablo rightly points out like wait which one is it is he mr magoo or is he uh is he like just uh like a guy who it wasn't didn't do his due diligence because he's rich and he's got other people to do that and they didn't do that mark cuban brings up a story about how he got scammed and it's just like none of this really makes sense because at the end of the day Cuban and Ballmer, who, by the way, we need to get to his conversation with Ramona Shelberg because I was like, man, you should not have done that.

You should not have sat down and answered those questions that prematurely but then here's the thing they keep coming back to well these guys are scammers of course why would they do this other scammers this is what i know about scammers and really most criminal enterprises the goal is to make money So if my goal is to scam people, to make money, yes, I'll pay Leonardo DiCaprio.

Yes, I'll pay Drake.

Yes, I'll pay Robert Downey Jr.

because they're going to go out and spread the gospel and bring me more money.

Why would I pay $28 million to a guy who's not even the most famous dude in his sport, who's notoriously a recluse, who's not going to do anything for me?

Four times as much as you're paying any and all of the other celebrities who are bigger celebrities and better spokesmen than he.

Yes, it's literally the duality of they're more famous than him.

And also, oh, they're going to burn a calorie to sell our scam to the world and legitimize it.

This guy's doing none of that.

And he's not even that famous outside of basketball to begin with.

Why are they paying him the most?

How does that help the scam?

Okay, I get it.

They're scammers.

You're right, Mark Cuban.

You're right, Steve Balmer.

These guys are criminals.

They're awful people.

They took advantage of people.

You need to tell me how paying $28 million to Kwai Leonard helped them.

Because I can't see how it helped aspiration one bit.

I want to get back to the Ballmer interview, but before we head down that path, I want to get Zaz's thoughts for Amin and just reiterate, okay, that what Pablo Torre finds out is doing, the degree of difficulty on it,

he's got these people pinned with facts.

They are facts thoroughly reported by the most ethical of journalism,

and they're pinned in in a way that makes Ballmer a bit panicked, have to go on television before he's ready to talk about things he might not be totally prepared to talk about.

I just want to point out again, the NBA investigated some of this stuff.

What Pablo did is more thorough in its findings than

an NBA investigation that wasn't able to find things like this.

So I just want people to understand that Pablo's degree of difficulty on this, he's got to have the facts in his corner in order to be as confident as he is.

Yeah, I would say, I would clarify, the NBA did their investigation back in 2019-2020.

These events happened after that, number one.

Number two, much of Pablo's findings are based on aspirations, bankruptcy filing, and those documents

that we looked at at therein.

So we had access to stuff that even if the NBA had done their investigation in 2021, they wouldn't have had access to any of these documents.

There's nothing that would have compelled Aspiration to hand over that stuff as opposed to a bankruptcy filing.

I'm saying the fishiness around all the Kawhi stuff has led to investigations and it wasn't able to be, to look like there was this much circumstantial evidence until all of the bankruptcy filings and fraud.

Right, right.

But I think the bigger thing is that the Clippers have been investigated multiple times under Steve Ballmer over these things.

That was another thing a lot of people forgot.

DeAndre Jordan, remember the whole thing with the chair and the emoji he wore and all that stuff when he was almost a Maverick and then he wasn't?

Yeah, the Clippers did some capsule convention during that as well.

They kind of set up a side deal with Lexus to pay DeAndre Jordan.

The NBA fined them $250,000 for that.

So at this point, with Steve Ballmer, it's not just a case of, hey, man, this looks fishy.

It's also, you're a repeat offender.

This ain't your first rodeo.

Well, except Ballmer kept saying to Ramona Shelburne there, we know the rules, they know the rules.

Okay, man, they know the rules, except Uncle Dennis keeps asking for things that are against the rules, and you know the rules, but you got tagged for this in the past already with that Lexus deal.

So who cares that you know the rules and they know the rules?

But back to the Cuban thing real quick.

Cuban's whole M.O.

the whole time as to why he's team Bomber was because like Pablo kept stating his reporting in what is believed to be fact through his reporting.

And Cuban's response every time was just, I don't believe Bomber's dumb enough to fall for this.

And then, and then like, and but and and Cuban then went over an old email that Aspiration sent him at the time wanting him to be an investor.

And Cuban specifically says the reason he didn't go along with it was because it was really aggressive and the money raised several red flags.

Why'd Bomber go along with it then?

Zaz, dude, it was so crazy to hear Mark Cuban make points that were actively working against his argument, right?

When he said that, I'm like, do you realize what you're saying?

You said Steve Balmer is, oh, he's too smart to fall for that kind of thing or to do that kind of thing.

And then you're telling me that these people that you sniffed out within one email,

Steve Balmer with the full distance with?

Come on.

And then Steve Balmer with Ramona, I mean, she asked him, hey, how do we know you guys are doing this?

Because it's against the rules.

I'm like, that's not an argument, right?

Then he went on.

This is my favorite part of the interview by far.

He says, Ramona asked him, have you spoken to Kawhi?

He says, no.

She says, would you like to hear what he has to say about all this?

And Steve Barber says, no, it's not my business.

It's Kwai's business.

They're like, what?

If you and me, Zaz, were accused of robbing a bank, and I know we didn't do it, or at least I didn't do it, wouldn't I pick up the phone and say, hey, Zaz, isn't this crazy?

They think we robbed the bank?

Why would I be like, oh, no, I can't talk to Zaz.

Oh, that might look fishy.

It would only look fishy if I actually did something.

He could have lied any other.

He could have said, not yet.

I haven't talked to him yet.

And then literally never talked to him, but just still say not yet.

But he didn't.

He made it clear.

Uh-uh.

That's not me.

That's him.

And that's the part where I'm wondering is if that's Steve Bomber's ejection button, which is, oh, we didn't know anything about it.

This is Kwai and Uncle Dennis all on their own acting illicitly, which it still isn't a strong enough argument, but it might be the argument he tries to run with.

And when he was asked, you know, why was Aspiration paying Kawhi Leonard to not do anything?

He was like, oh, I don't know.

They're scammers.

Don't scammers normally want you to pay them to do nothing?

Right.

Not the other way around.

I mean, let's play this sound for you from Channing Fry.

You tell me what your thoughts are here on him reacting with Kendrick Perkins and Richard Jefferson here on the road tripping podcast.

First of all, why are you snitching?

No.

Why are you snitching?

Who cares?

Why are you snitching?

Who's snitching?

Who's snitching?

The reporter?

Reporters.

The reporter's job is to snitch.

Our job is to keep it quiet, right?

Like, Ballmer didn't tell.

Kawhi didn't tell.

So Pablo's doing what he's supposed to do, and he's doing an absolute great job.

Shout him out for this investigation.

Yeah, Channing went to the University of Arizona, not known for its academics.

So sometimes some of these things do fly over his head.

He's a bright guy, but I got to blame his education at that point.

No, what do you talk about snitching?

Where are we in in life?

When I was growing up, snitching was if you were doing the dirt, if you're in this thing,

that's what snitching is, right?

So if I'm also doing this tampering, cap circumvention stuff, I can't be the whistleblower of the source.

That would be snitching.

But for the rest of us,

I don't working.

I'm not doing this.

It's not my job to make sure that you're doing all right.

If the media's job is as a watchdog, it's to make sure these things come to light.

Well, what's Richard Jefferson doing saying my job is to hide that stuff?

Isn't he a media member now?

Well,

he's doing the multiple hats thing.

He's bald, so he has to wear hats all over.

Players want other players to get paid.

Sounds like a bunch of snitches talking to me, pocket watching Kawhi, wondering where is he getting all that money from.

It's not in your goddamn business where he's getting that money from, Pablo.

Mind your own business.

Where are you getting your money from?

This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.

We've all done this.

Gone to the wrong people for advice.

You've got real problems and suddenly you're oversharing with your barber, your bartender, maybe even a a stranger in the bathroom line.

I know I've done this a time or two.

And look, they're great for small talk, but they're not trained to help you with anxiety, relationships, or depression.

That's the difference with therapy.

Therapists are credentialed, clinically trained, and actually know what they're doing.

Therapy isn't just for huge life crises either.

It's about learning coping skills, setting boundaries, and getting tools to deal with everyday chaos.

BetterHelp has been helping people find the right match for over 10 years and they've got a 4.9 rating based on 1.7 million reviews.

With over 30,000 licensed therapists, it's the world's largest online therapy platform serving more than 5 million people.

As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

Find the one with BetterHelp.

Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash DLB.

That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash DLB.

You know what nobody tells you about being a new dad?

It's not just the diapers and the wipes, that's obvious.

It's the hidden stuff, the baby swing after we already purchased the other baby swing, the bouncer, the pack and play, the 20 different bottles, because apparently my kid hates every single one, except the most expensive one, which is the glass, by the way.

Don't get me started on late food delivery orders with my wife, and me too tired to even look or cook or think about food.

I'm staring at my bank account like, where did it all go?

That's where monarch money comes in.

It's like a financial tool belt for everyone, not just dads.

You link all your accounts, your credit cards, investments, even the old stuff from jobs you forgot about, and it lays out in a way that even a sleep-deprived parent like me can actually understand.

Normally, money talks are stressful, but with Monarch, we can track everything together, set goals, and actually feel like we're on the same team.

Less stress, more clarity, and finally, a plan for our daughter's future.

Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks.

Use code DAN at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year.

That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code DAN.

I want to talk about home security for a minute.

For the longest time, I thought it was just alarms and sirens that once somebody breaks in, you deal with it.

But when you think about it, that's already too late.

That's reactive.

I had my car broken into on my property a while back.

The only thing I could do was call 911.

That's reactive.

I don't like leaving things up to chance.

That's why I decided to install SimplySafe.

Why?

Because they flipped the idea of home security by making it proactive.

Their Active Guard Outdoor Protection uses AI-powered cameras to actually identify people lurking around your property.

And here's the key: Simply Safe's monitoring agents step in before anything goes down.

They'll talk directly to intruders through the camera, light them up with spotlights, and even call the cops if they need to.

That's not reacting, that's stopping crime before it starts.

No contracts, no hidden fees.

That's why they've been named best home security system by U.S.

News and World Report five years in a row.

And they back it up with a 60-day money-back guarantee.

Simply Safe is offering Lebatard show listeners 50% off a new system with professional monitoring.

Plus, your first month is free.

Visit simplysafe.com/slash DLB to claim the offer.

That's simplysafe.com/slash DLB.

There's no safe like simply safe.

Don Lebatard.

Doesn't matter anywhere.

We could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore, either.

You said you could do it where?

Anywhere.

Whoa, whoa.

No, that's crazy.

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

He said he could do it anywhere.

That's crazy, murder.

Murder, tell him.

Stugats.

I had no idea Mean had that in his locker.

That might be his death.

That's crazy.

I'm not kidding.

That's crazy, killer.

It's two America's dead.

You don't get it?

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Time now for Amin's weekend observations.

It is time for

to share his game notes.

No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy.

Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Light.

Dan,

my eyebrows are singed.

My hair is blown back.

And I smell a bit like burnt bacon.

Because just like that,

make no mistake, my Sundays are now cooked.

Weekend observations will officially be on Mondays from now on.

Yeah.

Unless they're not.

Like next Monday.

Tinty and Carl, we need to have a conversation.

The Dolphins did something yesterday that the Giants couldn't do in five years.

Made Daniel Jones into a competent quarterback.

Yeah.

Greg Cody,

stands strong.

You double down.

You don't let these guys talk you off the ledge.

Don't change that season prediction.

He's so homerific.

Like he can't.

Here's the problem.

Greg,

Greg, this is what I'll say to you.

This is in your support.

If anything happens from here on out that continues to be bad, you've already lost the crowd.

Everyone thinks you're already a homer.

But if anything good happens, you get to be the guy who said, told you so, told you it was just one game.

You don't give up.

Hold strong.

Baltimore starts its season just like it ended last season.

Choking.

Jerry Jones

needs to check if he still has the receipts for the Micah Parsons deal.

Maybe he can get store credit.

You ever do that, guys?

You get something like, ah, I made a mistake.

You go back.

And they're like, well, we can't give you your cash back.

Well, your store credit.

Why do people say choke someone out with their bare hands?

Would it be any more benign if you did it with gloves on?

No, okay.

No, that's fair.

It's a good point, guys.

I'm sorry.

No, I was just thinking about it.

Give us a tech.

We weren't.

It's not that the joke wasn't good.

You made me think.

Yes, we do it with the bare hands because it makes the extra syllables make it sound like more of a bad.

It's because I might otherwise do it with like a rope or something.

Or what if like a headlock?

You can do one of those moves the mafia does where you're in the back seat of the car and you do it with a wire.

With a a wire or something.

That's a good move.

I always wanted to do that.

Yeah, Michelle.

When you see it, you're like, that seems like if you ever had to.

You always wanted to murder somebody?

No, I'm saying, if you had to attack somebody, you're like, from behind, like at the...

Like,

you obviously know what I'm talking about.

I know what you're talking about, but I didn't go to the next place of volunteering that I want to do this.

Yeah, hypothetically.

If I was ever going to attack somebody, this is how I probably would have to be.

We were going to attack somebody to murder them.

We definitely know what you're talking about.

That's why we're confused that you're openly admitting you want to murder them.

It's weird.

Who would you theoretically want to murder?

Yeah, when you've thought about it, who were you doing it?

The first person it came to mind.

Yeah, premeditate this, please.

Not that it would ever happen, just, you know, who might it be?

Say it into the microphone.

You have till the end of the segment to take something back, just so you know.

You know, I'm going to use some judgment here and not answer this question.

Good idea.

Chris Cody.

It's going to be clear now.

If anyone gets murdered around you, no one's going to suspect you.

Because you didn't say a name.

Chris.

Yes.

Listen to me.

Double down.

Take a bait.

Come back with your top five ways you would murder someone.

That's how you do it.

All right, I'm on it.

Because that's how you win.

You give in now.

You've lost.

You've lost to the terrorists.

Jaden Daniels.

Effortless.

How many people saw that DeAndre Hopkins touchdown and thought game over?

Winner of the weekend.

Me.

I am people.

Guilty.

Good to see Geno Smith picking up right where he left off

the last time I paid attention to him.

Guy's a winner when I watched.

You,

for those who do not know, Amino Hanson, I believe, has the single greatest prediction in the history of this show, in the 20-year history of the show.

He got Geno Smith's stats almost exactly right the season that Geno Smith had, that was a season better than any of us thought he would ever have.

Almost exactly right.

Touchdowns, interceptions, all of it.

Yards.

Yards, crazy, how close he was before the season.

Just the history of this show, huh?

I've rarely heard predictions better than that one.

There's no better agent for procrastination

than a random Instagram reel.

It's not from an account you follow.

Nobody sent it to you.

It just appeared and you started watching.

Procrastinate.

Instead of doing your work.

What did you see?

I saw this whole thing about cricket.

This is a documentary.

I didn't watch the whole documentary.

It was just a clip from the documentary.

But like these the British dude in the documentary, like at the time, they were like, Oh, we're gonna make the West Indies team grovel.

He used those terms, we're gonna make them grovel.

And the West Indies team, they didn't like that because it was a white guy telling mostly black and other colored people that they're gonna make they're gonna grovel to the British dude.

So, they went out and whooped his ass.

And I was so locked in, I don't give a shit about cricket, but I was like, wow.

And then I realized, oh shit, I have to finish these weekend observations.

What am I doing?

My reels are a lot of boobs.

out of boy

Travis Etienne

can scoot

do you guys say Travis Etienne or do you guys say Travis Etienne

no need for the junior we know it's not his dad exactly if your father isn't famous I'm not including the junior similarly if your son isn't famous I'm not including the senior

Talking to you Marcus Morris

We call him Marcus Morris senior why is junior coming up?

He's like three.

Ridiculous.

I don't know if any of you had the reaction, not to damper this at all, but when I heard Stingley Jr.

to the medical tent over the weekend, like I had an immediate reflex on I don't like hearing Stingleys to a medical tent because I associate that name only with paralysis,

even though his son is a great football player.

Yeah, he is.

Way to damper the mood.

Sorry.

I knew Sinner was cooked in the U.S.

Open final when I saw Drake bet $300,000 on him.

Aubrey Graham,

the polar opposite of the Midas touch.

Man, he's a terrible gambler.

Does he ever win bets?

Like,

he's terrible.

Like, why does he have these giant public bets that always lose?

I'm going to start a new segment on DraftKings where we just bet the opposite of Drake.

It's just crazy, though.

How much money has he lost?

I understand he's wildly, wildly wealthy, but he loses giant bets all the time.

And

he can't be making only the ones that he's showing us.

Well, the ones he shows us is the ones he loses.

I've never seen him post one and then he won afterwards.

So maybe there's something to that.

Maybe Pablo Torre can uncover that.

Pablo Torre

uncovering an alleged massive salary cap circumvention story,

only for some people to be disappointed that Pablo Torre didn't uncover the Epstein files.

Tells you what kind of run Pablo Torre is on.

PTFO.

Debalmer.

They in the Clippers abided by the rules because that's the right thing to do.

I'll try that next time I'm pulled over for speeding.

Officer, I was doing the speed limit.

Why?

Well, that's the right thing to do.

Never mind, you got the radar gun that got me doing 75.

Debalmer

investing 50 million into aspiration

who happened to compensate Kawhi Leonard $48 million.

Coincidence.

Allegedly.

To be fair to Steve Ballmer, 50 million to him is literally worth three cents to a regular person.

That's right.

Puka Nakua deserves a second song.

Yeti, get on that.

My guy, Tenday Tony,

saying the Giants have the best defensive line in the NFL.

Pump your brakes.

But also, I hope you're right.

If you take Joe Missoula,

made him wear glasses,

gave him a little more hair,

and made him a lot less successful, you get Mike McDaniel.

This guy, he goes into the press conferences, he always says something weird,

and then the team goes out there and lays a fart.

Yeah, it's been a, yeah, it's been really bad.

Dan, you don't get to be quirky and eclectic if you're not winning.

No, that's not a good thing.

And we agree to that, right?

And certainly not if you're losing like that.

Like Joe Missoula hanging on by a threat.

We're going to see this year how long the eclectic, quirky, I think of things differently bit goes when the Celtics aren't the best team in the conference.

Mike McDaniel grew up with Dan Soder.

I didn't know that.

You guys know that?

Did you guys know that?

I knew that.

That's a yes or no.

Thank you.

I knew.

No.

You can't check out on me that hard, guys.

Just

play a little bit.

You know what?

I mean, I'm sorry.

I was talking to Chris about Yeti's got a song about the dolphins that I wanted to play at the end of the segment, and so I wasn't listening to what you were saying.

Please keep it moving.

There's 17 people in that room.

Streeter, that's it.

You weren't listening.

Chris wasn't listening.

Everybody else can't give me all of that.

I'm working on my top five ways I would kill someone.

I'm complaining.

Top killing someone else.

Yeah, we're in a room where Chris is actively Googling on a work computer how best ways to murder someone.

I mean, so it's like, am I now

implicit in this?

We didn't participate.

Keep it moving, please.

Thanks for not bringing attention to it.

Chris Cody, number five.

Sword fight.

Oh, that's a good place.

You have to win.

Number four, another four.

Number four.

Four, slowly poison them over time.

I like that.

Number three.

That was your way, the choke with the wire in a car from behind.

Number two.

Cut their brakes.

Oh,

the good one.

And number one.

Trick them into entering the lion's pit at the zoo.

Put some thought into this.

All right, excellent work.

Pride of a lion.

I like number one.

Right of a lion.

Another lion pass this week at Zoo Miami.

Okay.

All right.

Sad.

Way to bring it down.

I didn't kill it.

Chris's friend did.

Maybe Chris did.

Lion's Den, yeah.

Friend.

All right.

Killed the lion.

Who saw that coming?

Go ahead, Amin.

Angel Reese.

Suspended by the Chicago sky for a half

for comments detrimental to the team.

they're 10 and 31.

Sounds like the team is detrimental to the team.

Also, suspended for just a half.

Either go full game or go home.

Cowards.

It's the move whenever it's a good player.

You do it for a half.

Yes, but they're 10 and 31.

That's right.

They didn't want to give away another game.

Jackson Dart should start.

Russell Wilson should retire.

Someone threw threw a green, lifeless thing on the field of an NFL game.

It's called the Jets.

Oh, man, that just killed them.

Yes, that's a good joke.

Tore their hearts.

Where is the sex toy?

Do we have video of the sex toy?

Quality!

Landing on the field.

There it is.

Yeah, there it is.

Confirmed.

That right there is American football has returned.

A referee just throwing a dildo 20 yards.

I just like that it has to be green.

Like, you're not doing it right if it's not green.

Going forward, the confirming sound, we need to hear the whole thing, because when it starts and it doesn't end, it can be inappropriate.

I feel bad for that official.

Like, he has to pick it up.

It's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing.

The internet's forever, and now he's just got a dildo in his hand.

He's wandering around.

Fum him, I'm like, can I get a paper towel?

He's at the top of his job, and he can't, yeah, he needs something.

You know what I'm saying?

Because it goes,

yes.

Is there anything he wouldn't grab?

If he was like, oh, I can't.

I'm not touching it.

Close this out of Maine.

It took not being a jet for Aaron Rodgers to look like Aaron Rodgers.

Serbia lost to Finland despite 33 points and 8 rebounds by Jokic.

I guess you could say Serbia's Eurobasket run

is finished.

You lost to Finland.

Yeah, see, that's a good joke.

Nice, nice.

Yeah, that always helps when you have to point out that's a good joke.

People laugh harder then.

To get the people

to the people upset that I'm doing weekend observations.

I get it.

We always miss the original because it was better.

You ever gone to a bar and found out that your favorite bartender was replaced with a guy named Steve?

I'm Steve.

What can I get you?

Top five things where the original was better.

OLI, Jerry Garcia as the original lead singer for the Grateful Dead.

Number five, Chevy Chase as the original weekend update host.

Number four,

Janet Hubert, the original Aunt Viv.

Number three,

Lewis Wilson as the original Batman.

Very, very racist.

Movie, that original Batman.

You can watch it on Tubi, I think.

Number two, Backrub, the original name for Google.

Put it on the poll, please.

I'm not making that up.

That Lebertard show, did you know that Backrub was the original name for Google?

And the number one thing

where the original was better: the dinosaurs, the original dominant species that's wiped out by climate change.

They're better because they didn't cause the climate change, it just happened to them.

I guess Arch Manning

had a red dot on San Jose State.

Miami beat Bethune Cookman 45-3.

Georgia Tech beat Gardner Webb 59-12.

Florida State beat East Texas A ⁇ M 77-3.

Alabama beat Louisiana Monroe 77-0.

And Oregon beat Oklahoma State 69-3.

One of these things is not like the other.

LeBron James demolished his $37 million mansion so he can build his dream home.

LeBron James living in a $37 million mansion that isn't his dream home

is proof that everyone is miserable.

We're all in our own personal hell, Dano.

Speaking of hell,

Art Bryles,

those are the weakest.

I ran out of music twice.

Thank you, Amin.

Good talking to you.

I work hard.

Howdy, folks, it's Mike Ryan.

It's also NFL season.

Lots of big-time matchups.

You know, your boy is an NFL free agent, so he's looking all across that NFL schedule for the very best games.

And when I do, my very first and only stop is the Game Time app because the Game Time app gives the advantage back to the fans.

It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps.

It's incredibly easy to use, and the Game Time Guarantee means that you can trust that you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and at the very best price.

Plus, fees are always included.

So what you see is what you pay.

You have incredible features such as zone deals.

You get to save even more when you choose a section and let Game Time choose the seats.

You get panoramic seat views.

If you know nothing about the venue you're about to buy tickets for, this is a huge tool.

Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with Game Time.

Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply.

Again, create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off.

Swipe, tap, ticket, go.

Download the GameTime app today.