NFL KICKOFF SHOW: The Season is Now with Dan Hanzus

Well, glass half full, Bill Belichick.

At least now you know she's not into you for your coaching.

Must be your rugged good looks and sense of style.

What we all knew before last weekend even kicked off, there are only really four or five teams with an actual chance of winning the national championship.

College football is great, except for the end part, when the elites go behind the velvet ropes and into the VIP area, and everybody else gets to fight over Pop-Tarts and Mayo Bowls.

Really, what's the biggest surprise in the last half century of college football?

Let me list them for you.

BYU in 84, Schnellenberger and Kosar beating Nebraska in the Orange Bowl, and that's it.

That's the full list.

Compare that with the NFL where the unimaginable is the norm, and I don't just mean the Dallas Cowboys trading away their best player to their rival since way back to the days of the Ice Bowl.

The Micah deal wasn't so much unimaginable as it was just unsmart.

For all our collective focus on pro football, there's still things that no one sees coming.

Yeah, Vince, I was just thinking about how often the NFLs turn me into you, asking what the hell's going on out there.

So let me list them for you, the biggest surprises of the first 60 years of the Super Bowl era.

I'll start with the three best QBs of the Super Bowl era, being a sixth-round draft pick in his underpants, a third-round draft pick from Pennsylvania named Montana, and a QB who was drafted behind Mitchell Trubisky.

And there was the St.

Louis Rams greatest show on turf.

Looked like nothing you'd ever seen before.

It felt like the grocery bag boy and his pals were scoring 60 points a game.

Also bizarre, the LA Rams living in St.

Louis for 20 years.

And of course Dan Marino's 1984, which by itself changed the game forever.

I still say his second season is still the single best year QB's ever had.

Well, unless it was Lamar Jackson's sophomore season, which didn't look anything like Marino's, but was still just as stunning.

The guy drafted after four other QBs had 1,200 yards.

Rushing, I mean.

Even though all the experts said a running QB could never win in the NFL.

Of course, it was also a surprise when the Titans upset the Ravens that year in the playoffs, but NFL playoff upsets do happen.

Now ask yourself how many upsets there were in last year's college tournament.

Of course, the OG of improbability is the Jets beating the Colts in Super Bowl III.

Broadway Joe may have betted down with half the women in Manhattan, but it was plumb unimaginable anyone from the AFL could ever get the first base with the Lombardi.

Now to be accurate, the trophy wasn't named the Lombardi till 1970 after Neyman had won it.

But then again, if the Cowboys had survived the Ice Bowl and then gone on to win the second Super Bowl, that trophy might now be called the Landry.

Can you imagine that?

Let's start the show.

It's the footballiest time of the year

With the tush push still rolling and tailgate beer flowing, and Micah's new team.

It's the footballiest time

of the year.

Hi, and hello, my fellow football Americans.

Today's episode of Football America is presented by DraftKings.

DraftKings, the crown is yours.

It's week one, don't you know?

Games that count.

And starting on Monday, Football America is going to twice a week, Mondays and Fridays.

Be a deer.

Spread the good word.

Tell your pals or your enemies if you hate the show.

Either way, subscribe wherever you find your favorite audio podcasts and or on YouTube.

Shout out to everybody who already has done it.

My survivor/slash suicide pick of the week is the Denver Broncos.

It's the obvious one.

Play it as safe as possible.

Survive week one to get to week two.

My Super Bowl 60 pick remains.

The Bills and Niners, it still is at 4-1.

Shout out to my guy, Meatball in Chicagoland.

He has dropped me a line to tell me he is a football American as well.

We appreciate that.

All the feedback, keep dropping us a line.

Coming up, we got our pal Dan Hanzus of Heed the Call coming and Mike Ryan and the Fuentes brothers have the con in Miami.

Your old pal Dave's here in L.A.

But first, here's Objective Bradley in New York City with the black and white news.

Thanks, Dave.

Well, it's been a week at Football America.

We broke news about Aaron Rodgers giving Pittsburgh hero Ryan Clark the cold shoulder, and we're still digesting the trade that sent Micah Parsons from the Dallas Cowboys to the Green Bay Packers.

Since that day, a lot has happened, including news that Parsons may need an epidural to be ready for week one check.

An epidural,

an epidural is a local anesthetic injected between the spinal cord and the surrounding vertebrae.

But does this news soothe the pain of cowboy fans upset?

by the trade.

I've never had an epidural myself, but I've heard good things from those close to me.

I've been within three feet of seeing another human being getting one right between the spine.

The thing that,

I don't know, spine or heart or what, but if you're a Cowboys fan, the element that I feel like most people haven't talked about, and maybe that's because I love one helmet guys, guys that only play for one team and the rivalries and ones that extend beyond a decade and then last an eternity.

The Dallas Cowboys traded him to the Packers.

Apparently the Eagles tried to get him, but they said, no, we're not trading within our division, but you traded him to the Packers.

That goes back to the ice bowl and everything else.

Like I already said, hey, Mike Ryan is joining us here, and we didn't say hello to him.

So first of all, apologies for that.

Secondly, Muzzletov on the big win.

You took down the Irish.

Good for you.

And how are you, Fel?

And happy football season.

There is no way I'm not good after taking down the Notre Dame fighting Irish.

Dave, it has to look a certain way, and Miami is starting to look a certain way.

They are.

You know what doesn't look great to me, Mike, is the, you know, I love what we're about to jump into, the first go-round proper of our fashion segment here.

The one that's a little bit overrated, Notre Dame on the road.

I don't think looks great.

How say you?

I like Notre Dame's look, especially.

Under Armour, a couple years ago, decided to do a hard lean into the gold, and it's like extra gold.

And I actually think the elements out at Hard Rock Stadium really helped that look pop with all the water on the helmet.

It made for a nice aesthetic, but I'm going to shock you with an opinion here, Dave.

Miami's uniform, although classic, it leaves a lot to be desired.

Do you know what my single biggest issue with Miami's uniform might be?

I mean, I hope it's not the iconic you.

It is not at all the you.

That is great.

It is an iconic helmet, and that iconic helmet might actually be the root of the issue because Miami's piping is a disaster.

None of it matches.

The helmet stripe does not match the shoulder stripe.

The shoulder stripe does not match the pant stripe.

In fact, they have to go monochrome for the piping to work out, but that leaves a helmet stripe looking out of order.

I would posit that Miami should alter the helmet stripe.

It's an iconic helmet, and most people would argue you can't touch that helmet.

But what's iconic about the helmet is the U on the side.

The piping is a disaster on Miami's uniforms.

You mix and match, and it just leaves you looking really messy.

So I think that they need to find a uniform look for these shoulder pipes and the leg pipes.

Well, listen, I'm sure you got the ear of the higher ups at the U, and maybe they can make that change for us here as we launch into the righteous cause of fixing up what is wrong about uniforms.

And yeah, the Colts suffer from the same thing.

Two stripes on the shoulders, two stripes on the pants, monochromatic is nice, except single stripe on the helmet.

It doesn't match the double stripes on the shoulders.

Before we get into that, though, Bradley, continue with the black and and white news if you have anything left, friend.

Well, I do.

Closer to home, our good man Shek, that is you, unveiled the new Blute Fantasy Football League trophy and did not get kicked out of the famous Los Angeles League.

Woohoo!

I was sure I was on the chopping block.

What's more, I introduced the new trophy.

John Ham

two years ago, three years ago, now kicked me out because I lost the league trophy.

Who cares?

Who needs a dumb trophy?

That's what the money's for.

But for those who do need a trophy now they have a trophy and john ham no showed the draft he's off shooting some not yet another fancy movie so he wasn't there to receive the trophy that is now called the hammy it features him in his most famous role wearing those uh those two nipple rings shirtless as the as the mean sheriff from fargo um but yes i was very happy to to survive that for those who don't know what we do is every year cousin sal cooked this up about 15 20 years ago that survivor style the champion at the draft gets to kick out someone of his choosing I was sure it was going to be me thankfully I was wrong and I have a juggernaut once again the cool cat spelled with two case

no thoughts no anything

I got nothing all right

we'll fix it in post all right listen if that's his reaction if I you know what I think I've learned a valuable lesson here today and this is not on black and white Bradley He gave me what is the objective reaction of anybody talking about someone else's fantasy league.

It's like golf shots.

No one gives a crap, man.

Your fantasy is important to you, but everybody else's fantasy leagues make no difference.

So let's move on and let's jump into it with Mike here.

And like I say, we thought about it the last time he visited the show.

And now

we'll make it into a full segment.

We both love pro football and college football uniforms.

We're going to do a fashion segment ongoing here.

The first thing we have to do, though, Mike, is what should this be named?

Yeah,

that's a great question because we have to try to tie in to fashion and the gridiron.

But I'm really perplexed here as to what we should do because how about fashion faux pass?

Hmm.

Okay.

Okay.

It's a start.

It's a thought.

No bad ideas here.

That's not.

I like to crowdsource this one a little bit.

That was a mediocre one.

All right.

Hey, Mike and Gino.

Mike and Gino, if you want to do,

you know what?

We park our cars in the same garage.

I think we should throw it out to the football Americans within the sound of our voice right now and drop us a line.

What you think the fashion segment should be called.

I like that.

And the first question here is, as we dip into college real quick, I'll look back at it.

I contend that I love the San Francisco 49ers road uniforms.

I think they are the best road uniforms in the NFL, but they take a back seat to the very best road uniform in all of football.

That belongs to the Texas Longhorns.

How say you?

A great look.

You don't have to necessarily worry about the piping getting all out of sorts.

You don't even need a helmet stripe for this look.

A great traditional look, but might be a little too plain Jane for some.

Here's a look that I would throw.

But burnt orange is what makes it distinct.

It's a unique color.

No doubt.

But how about a uniform that has a little bit more going going on for it that can really pop depending on the opponent?

You mentioned Notre Dame.

I think one of the best-looking games, especially if the Irish go with the green tops, is when they take on the USC Trojans.

The Trojans road look is really beautiful.

It's classic.

I love that they have kept the great face mask.

That beautiful gold really pops.

And the shoulder kind of like daggers that they have, a little modern edge to a really classic look.

So they go for it a little bit.

They could go the easy route and their colors would work and everybody would understand if they tried to mail it in with a traditional look, but they've made those shoulder stripes seem really traditional when it's kind of modern.

I dig the USC away look.

Can I make an observation?

Because you mentioned the use uniforms.

Now that I am sort of thinking it through here, over the last decade, all three of the powerhouse Florida teams have mediocre to bad uniforms.

I think Miamis are fine.

I would say they're mediocre.

Miamis are fine.

Florida states, they have diminished on purpose for some reason over the last 15, 20 years.

And Florida, I like the color scheme, but it doesn't come all the way together.

They need to get back to the blue pants look there in Gainesville.

How say you?

Well, I do like the script logo on Florida.

I think that the blue over orange is quite a stunning look.

So I don't necessarily mind Florida's uniforms for a team that I hate.

FSU's logo, and I know we're entering dicey territory here, but for whatever reason, it looks like Elvis dying on a toilet.

I don't know what they've done.

They looked at, I guess, like ESPN one day and gained inspiration from Mel Kuiper Jr.

screaming at us from the bowels of hell for some reason.

I don't necessarily like what they've done.

And their uniform used to be a lot better in the 90s when they started.

tweaking with it, as you mentioned.

It was a downgrade.

Now, Miami does get extra bonus points for having a green and orange color scheme that you don't see around.

Everyone associates those two colors with the University of Miami.

Their white over orange look is great.

That's a great point.

Nobody else does that, do they?

No, no one else does that, and they own that look.

So I think it naturally contrasts

certain opponents.

Like whenever Miami plays UNC, that baby blue popping with that beautiful bright orange, it just pops off the screen.

I'm big into contrast, and Miami's uniform set often plays into it.

I don't like when they go away from the traditional white helmet.

I haven't seen it in a while, but I think they had one one year that was like that green metallic type color.

That was the most hideous thing.

And it looked like a Christmas like ornament.

No, the worst

is what the Dolphins are doing too, which is that head-to-toe black look.

And you mentioned

Mike Ryan that Texas is a little bit too plain, but they're the OG.

That's like saying that you don't like, well, I don't like the Ramones

because there's too much punk music out there already.

It's like, well, they're the creators of it.

So they're the ones who started it.

Everybody else takes a back seat to that creation.

That's what plagues the NFL NFL rivalries uniforms is that 90% of them are all like, hey, look what we did to our uniforms.

We slapped our team logo on an all-black getup.

And if it's not all black, it's all white.

Not very creative.

I don't understand naming it the rivalries set either because shouldn't if you're if you're wearing these for rivalry games, shouldn't you do more to tap into your history?

This would be a great time to tap into a throwback look or a mock throwback look, kind of like what the NHL did with reverse retros instead they took this opportunity to really go crazy and i don't necessarily like that also here's another thing the nfl should go back to throwback uniforms on thanksgiving day i loved when they did that yes throwback uniforms sell and now i understand that people like to wear their throwback uniforms whenever they feel like it but if you're really tapping into the history of the game and calling something a rivalry series why are we taking such crazy shots with our look let's do something that's a little bit more throwbacky like a a reverse retro.

And then if the Dolphins want to wear those crazy uniforms against, you know, the L.A.

Chargers, go nuts.

There's not a lot of history behind that rivalry.

I just don't get why they aren't tapping so much into the history for these games.

Oh, it's a plague on college now, too.

When the rivalry games arrive, that's when you got to wear the classics, not try some newfangled look.

All right, listen.

Let's move off uniforms.

Good first start, though.

Drop us a line, Football Americans.

Let us know what you think the fashion corner should be called going forward.

Right now, though, I want to get you on some games.

Week one is here, if you haven't heard, and I want to start it off here.

That will be obviously a tent poll on the Friday show every week or Thursday in this case, where we will tell you who is going to win all the NFL games upcoming on the weekend here.

Let's pick the three games that maybe RFK, I think, would be RFK Jr.

would be excited about.

And we'll start it off locally for you, Mike, and the Fuentes brothers.

Let's take a look at dolphins and colts.

How say you in this one?

As you know, I've actually killed a dolphin

and strapped it to the hood of my car now.

It's a rare occasion where I've also killed a colt and strapped it to the hood of my car.

So my heart is really torn about who to pick here.

I will actually pick the Miami Dolphins because I don't know if you've seen the recent mandates that the Florida Attorney Surgeon General actually came up with, but

one team is more likely to get malaria, and that's the Miami Dolphins.

And I'm actually siding with that because malaria gets a bad rap.

Teach, there have been a lot of HHS secretaries over the years.

I wish I could name even one of them here because that's what I do.

But you do, you're right.

You have sea creatures,

You have octopuses.

You have sharks.

You have wet.

Look, there are a lot of sea creatures.

But the Dolphins, the Miami Dolphins, have a good quarterback in Tua, even though he takes too many shots to the head.

Back on the blitz.

Dolphins win this one.

30-21.

Dolphins, the road dog here.

I do like the Colts to win the AFC South, but I don't expect that they're going to win every game.

Next up here, let's stay in the state of Florida.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Buccaneers, a lot of high hopes for that team around America.

I'm on the Atlanta Falcons winning the division.

I was premature in 2024.

Michael Pennix comes through for me here.

I say 33-31 in a shootout in the NFC South that gives a, by the way, I have to say again.

Why do we have to have divisional games in week one?

We've been lost.

We've been out in the desert for six months without football.

Beggars can't be choosers.

We don't need filet mignon.

We just need a cracker to get by.

Don't play games that may end up deciding who wins a division.

That's what we have here.

Mike, how say you on this game?

It's still Robert, and most people don't know that I actually am an expert in falconry, and

in doing so, I lean Atlanta too.

But

Michael Pennix is actually really good against the Blitz, and Balls is going to test them.

But ultimately, this comes down to

Tristan Worth,

Kate Otten banged up, Godwin, not available.

So ultimately, a tough divisional matchup early on.

Too many injuries for Tampa.

So I like the Falcons.

Berman, go.

You got John F.

You got Robert F.

You got Roe.

Look, there are a lot of Kennedys.

But Robert Kennedy Jr.

is the wackiest of them all, back on the blitz.

And moving on now to the Titans.

And Mike joined us, like I say, a couple few weeks ago, and he announced, I don't know for the first time, but he is now going to be a Tennessee Titans backer because of Cam Ward.

He's also now a Carson Beck fan, if you didn't pick up on that a couple of minutes ago.

I'm going to start with you.

I said that the Broncos are going to win this one.

I think they're your survivor/slash suicide pick, the obvious one, biggest spread of the week, eight and a half as we record right now.

I I can absolutely see Cam Ward doing something special and stunning the Broncos and all their high hopes, and people picking them to go all the way to the Super Bowl or at least win the AFC West that still does include Patrick Mahomes and Justin Herbert.

So I got the Broncos not just winning, but covering.

I guess

my job wouldn't be on the floor.

Bobby Kennedy, how say you?

One thing I try to avoid is picking the most picked picked game.

And everyone is going to pick the Broncos there.

But one thing that

I want to tell you is

I've seen Cambore do this down here in Miami.

And the expectations aren't exactly lofty.

So I think he's going to hang around that number.

It's a

juicy number.

So

while Denver may win, it's hard to win.

MII.

Hard.

But I think the Cam War finishes inside the number.

A lot of weapons outside.

Cheech,

you got thoroughbreds,

you got stallions, you got Mustache.

Look, there are a lot of different equines, but Broncos are pretty feisty, and they will be a factor in the AFC playoffs back on the Blitz.

You know what?

Let's do one more for old time's sake.

You're a Browns guy, and as we jump into it,

the battle for Ohio, as I think the locals there like to call it,

it's one of the best stories in pro football history.

You see, the Cleveland Browns were founded by Paul Brown, and he builds them up into a real good pro football collective until Art Model buys the team.

And he says, hey, Paul Brown, you're out.

And Paul Brown surely scoffs and says, what do you talk about, Art?

The team's named after me.

You can't fire me.

He's like, well, I just did it.

And so begins the great career of Art Model as a pro football owner.

So Paul Brown's next turn is, well, I'm going to move to Cincinnati and start a new football team.

I'm going to make the uniforms look exactly like yours.

Then Art Modell, decades later, moves those Cleveland Browns to Baltimore and then leaves the name behind.

And now what plays in the city of Cleveland is called the Browns.

But of course, the Browns have won two Super Bowls in Baltimore.

I don't know what we should be calling Cleveland.

We should be calling Baltimore to, as men of justice, the Baltimore Purples.

I don't know what to make of the Browns.

Either way, Joe Burrow and company understand the struggles that they've had and how it is limited how far they go the last couple of years because of those early season stumbles.

No such problem here against the Bumbranis.

35-28 Bengals win and cover in Cleveland.

How say you, Mike?

Divisional matchups, week one can be tight.

Joe Burrow historically has struggled with the Cleveland Browns.

We don't know what we're going to see from Al Golden's defense just yet.

Also, when you talk about this rivalry, twice a year, we're guaranteed a game that's usually difficult on the eyes because these

they don't have a lot of contrast.

Now, Cincinnati's announced their uniforms for this week, and I think they're rocking all white with an orange shell top.

At that point, go with the white lid because that plays into the contrast here.

But ultimately, I think Cleveland hangs around around inside the number.

I think there's a gritty three-point game that Joe Burrow pulls out, adds to what I'm sure most will consider an MVP type of season for Joe Burrow.

But Joe Flacco, week one, Cleveland can be feisty as a home dog week one, especially in a divisional matchup.

So I like the Browns to at least fall inside the number.

But the Bengals are probably a pretty good survivor pool pick.

Yeah, that's a good one, except for the fact that they keep losing at the start of every season now.

That's become a part of the Joe Burrow era there in Cincinnati.

I think that they understand that at least as well as the rest of us do, though.

And they know, especially it being a division game, they do not want to come out of the gate like they have the last couple of years.

Mike, you get out of the gate right now, but we appreciate the time and we look forward to talking uniforms and beyond the next time with you and with your new pal, Bobby Kennedy.

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All right, there he goes.

And here comes our pal.

He's one of the heroes.

You know him from Heed the Call, one of the best and most popular podcasts, not just in football America, but in the entire big blue marble.

He was just in MetLife Stadium watching his favorite band.

He's not just a pigskin insider, but he's also a music aficionado.

He is, of course, Dan Hanzus.

What's happening, Pally?

How you been?

What's up, Dave?

Now that you've joined the Lebatard universe, just the quality of your camera shows that you're aging like a John Hammed figure.

And I'm just a little jealous, but I'm also proud of you, Dave, as a longtime friend.

Well, you, listen, right back at you, because as proud as I am about my head of hair at my advanced age, you have me beat.

I give you the con in that regard.

Okay, Steelers, Jets.

The terrible pal is poised to strike.

So are the Steelers.

You and I have gone back and forth about this for months on end now.

I was just belly aching before you joined about how much I hate important week one games, divisional games.

I hate Ravens and Bills because it is so valuable probably by the end of the thing for who is higher, who's going to be the higher seed.

This one is big in a different way for both sides.

What's your big, your big narrative as we enter this one?

I think from the Jets perspective, there's so much optimism around Aaron Glenn and the refresh of

of the team following the aaron rodgers disaster and let's face it what it ended up being was a disaster and i feel like this is such a big opportunity but also a ton of pressure on glenn and the jets because as we know the jets it's 14 years and counting since the playoffs part of uh what's Part of being a Jets fan is the Lol Jets aspect of it.

So the last thing this organization needs in week one after offseason of positive vibes is for Rodgers to go for 350 and four touchdowns.

and the Jets get embarrassed by the guy that they hooked their entire hopes and dreams on for it all to blow up.

So I think that the sneaky for a Jets team that is not in Super Bowl contention, still, this game in some ways is the most important game of the season because I feel like it could set the entire Aaron Glenn expedition off on such a great foot, or conversely, kind of puts you back in that situation: like, oh, is it just the same, just different coach, same thing over and over?

Well, I mean, I think that the reality of fandom is that no one is more cynical about any team brand than the fans of it are.

People always, oh, you're a homer.

No, no, I can see the doom and gloom awaiting.

That's times a million for any Jets fan out there.

I feel like

there is upside available to Aaron Glenn to launching this thing off on the right foot, but unless he gets bella checked, I mean, unless he loses by five touchdowns or something, I don't think there's really a big stink that

could be applied to what Aaron Glenn's trying to cook up there.

It's the Rodgers thing, Dave.

It really is.

Like, as a Jets fan, it is a very sensitive subject because we all kind of opened up our hearts to the experience, knowing that there was a very high chance of getting hurt, but we were like embracing the Aaron Rodgers saying at his opening press conference that Lombardi trophy looks lonely and that hard knocks summer.

Like, people don't understand, Dave.

Jets fans watching hard knocks two summers ago, that was one of the best fan experiences for anyone that was that's my age I'm 45 years old like that's the level of investment we had in that guy so the fact that it ended the way it did

we can't have him play well in our building in week one we just can't

I hear you.

I found that laughable at the time.

The guy who hadn't been to a Super Bowl in 13 years was going to be the savior for you guys getting to a Super Bowl.

Lombardi look lonely.

I'd like to laugh about it, but you know, my emotions are a little split on it, as you might understand.

I mean, you know, first of all, it's redundant with what we saw last year.

The Savior was supposed to be the savvy vet who was going to bring maturity to the quarterback room and to the roster overall in Pittsburgh.

You saw how that worked out.

The guy who it ultimately cost the Steelers is now your starting quarterback.

I just don't, you know, the curse is supposed to.

The team that's supposed to win has added pressure to them.

And I just can't imagine that if Justin Fields takes down Aaron Rodgers after the investment,

you know, the waiting him out, not taking a quarterback in the draft until the sixth round and not really pursuing Justin Fields a little bit harder because they anticipated Aaron Rodgers was on his way all adds up to it would just be, it's going to be a tough hurdle to clear if they lose to the Jets in week one.

How they bounce back from that is just a ton of pressure pressure as far as I'm concerned.

Now, go ahead.

It's kind of a lot for both teams, let's face it.

For week one,

neither their team really needed this level of melodrama for week one, but that's how the schedule makers like it on 345.

Well, I just hope

you're heating what Aaron Rodgers said.

It's week one.

That's all.

Super casual.

It's week one.

Now, Elijah Vera Tucker is down for the year.

That's got to be a bad omen for the season or no?

Listen,

I'm one of those rare, you know, Dave, one one of those rare optimistic Jets fan.

I always have an open heart, and I understand every team's going to deal with a big injury at some point.

The Jets got theirs a little bit earlier.

Hopefully, it's the last major injury they have, but it's a big one.

This is a team that in Brees Hall and Braylon Allen and Justin Fields, I think their whole game plan is we want 50 yards on the ground from the quarterback.

We want like maybe 120, 130 yards from our two running backs that we love, and we're going to use our defense and win some low-scoring games.

I don't think you're going to see if like Pittsburgh fans are like, like, oh, we're going to stick it to Justin Fields,

our secondary, he's going to lock him down.

I don't think he's going to throw that much.

I think they're going to really try to ground and pound this.

And Elijah Vera Tucker, as their interior guard and arguably their most talented offensive lineman, to lose him, that reshuffles things that...

That's their biggest strength, their line and running game.

So it is foreboding.

It's going to take, it's going to take, it's going to be a test of their depth.

I'm hopeful they could fill the hole, but there's no way around it.

To lose him before week one, it sucks.

It just just sucks.

I think that what you are going to see is a better version of Justin Fields, or at least using his skill set more than what Pittsburgh did a year ago.

I think that's something at least to look forward to as a Jets fan.

I'm going to let you start us off here.

Let's give our picks here.

Pittsburgh Steelers, New York Jets, choose.

I like it.

I like that it's at the Metal Ends because you know the Jets, they always lock things down in the swamp.

I will, again, optimism reigns.

I'm going to say 20 to 17.

They have a new thick kicker, the Jets.

He's going to pump one through the uprights.

2017 Jets.

Wow.

Look at that.

Some optimism.

Now you're applying pressure to Aaron Glenn.

I'm going to say Aaron Rodgers survives this one 17-13.

That's how they'll come out of the gate.

I don't care who their quarterback is.

And like you said,

Mike Tomlin wants to win against the worst team and the best team.

He wants the final score to be 12-11.

I think it's going to be something close to that.

And with that said, I wanted you here for this, Dan.

I'm ready to make my annual announcement of what the Steelers' final record will be this year.

I have not been off by more than one game in 11 years now.

So it's an honor.

It's an honor that I'm on the segment where you make this Neth move because you do have great history in this realm.

Haven't been off by more than one game.

Can't be a big homer if I'm that accurate for more than a decade.

And in 2025, Aaron Rodgers and his new pals will finish

11 and 6.

They're going to the playoffs.

They're not going to win the division.

And they'll fall on their face.

And it's all underwhelming stuff for this Steelers fan that the goal is plainly to win a playoff game, not to go to a Super Bowl or otherwise.

Like I say, pressure entirely on them.

And one other thing is, and as we sort of

defense is going to be real good.

They are going to

the battle is going to be how much can they marginalize the first ballot Hall of Famer Aaron Rodgers in game-to-game.

The defense is going to be great.

I think the offensive line is finally going to be a virtue.

They have the runners behind him.

Just don't try to do too much, Aaron.

Turn around and hand the ball off.

Conjure Peyton Manning in 2015.

That's your model.

You're a better version of Peyton was then.

Play that role.

And I think the Steelers can actually make some hay here.

Jackson Jackson Dart.

Check.

Five-time Pro Bowl wide receiver Amari Cooper to retire.

Week one after Raiders reunion.

This news just broke.

The

Las Vegas Raiders wide receiver Amari Cooper has informed the team that he no longer has the desire to play football and intends to retire per the NFL network email.

So I'll have maybe four fewer catches than what he probably will have had.

I mean, there's a reason he was

out on the street until

it was his time.

It was Amari's time.

It was a nice career, though.

Now, like I say,

I want to hear about the Met Life experience you just had, but if the other inhabitant of that joint, Jackson Dart and his pals, is good, that's more bad news for Mike Tomlin this season.

We'll see how that goes.

But tell us while we have you here.

Let's keep you focused.

New York City zone.

Giants and commies.

How do you think this one plays out?

Yeah, I'm kind of wrestling with the Commanders a little bit.

We did our predictions on Heed the call, and I don't know.

I kind of, at the last second, said they're not going to make the playoffs.

I think there could be a step back.

There's some parallels here between the Houston Texans and Washington Commanders, a rookie quarterback who surges, but then, you know, they make a bunch of splash moves with veterans that.

That doesn't always work out.

In fact, a lot of times it doesn't.

They try to patch up holes.

So I think the commanders are a little more vulnerable than other people seem to think.

I certainly am not ticketing them back to the NFC title game.

The Giants are a very interesting team because I don't know if you've noticed this, Shaq, or if you've sensed it at all, but there's a lot more optimism around the Giants than one would expect given their recent results, their quarterback situation,

and that schedule, the division they play in.

So

I know a lot of people think the Giants are going to be the surprise team in the NFC.

I'm not there yet, but the quicker they can get to Jackson Dart, the better.

This Russell Wilson, the old parcelsism,

he's a progress stopper.

That's exactly what he is.

Get the kid on the field.

I'm with you in almost every situation.

I get it.

Just give him a week or three to watch from the sidelines.

Playing out of that spread that he was going out of at Ole Miss maybe does require a little bit more adjustment than most quarterbacks as they, you know, they're so pro-ready, the first round guys, generally speaking.

I do hear you, though.

Obviously, you got to figure out if dart's the answer.

But you just saw it, Dave, right?

Like, how many games where you have 296 yards of total offense is Brian Dable going to be be able to stand when he's got one of the hottest seats in the league, you would think.

And he knows the only guy that could save his job is the kid quarterback.

He has to show ownership that he could develop the kid quarterback.

I assume they have a plan in place, you know,

by maybe four to five weeks in.

But anything longer than that, I just feel like they have the wrong idea here.

Yeah, but the other side of that coin is by kicking it down the road just a little bit, if you get an incomplete out of Jackson Dart, you can say, well, I need another year, boss.

You can't fire me now.

We're doing something.

Whereas if you come out of the gate in week one and get whipped by the commies, and then that continues to roll that way, and then you have to fall back to Russell Wilson, then it's a lost cause and now we have to change regimes, right?

I get that one.

I think the Giants, though, to your broader point about the commies taking a step back, and I'm not.

you know, wild about where the Giants are going this year.

I think they pull one out here in our nation's capital.

22 to 20 they win this one that's right all right i like that i don't agree but i like it it would be it would be good theater and mark my words 10-5 october 5th giants at saints jackson dark is the starting quarterback for that game By the way, Cowboys could fall back.

If the Commons fall back, it's a tough spot for even a Super Bowl champion

the following season.

I wouldn't expect them to have the same level of record.

All that could add up to an extra win or three.

And the Commies, I mean, the the giant schedule is is relatively favorable before we let you go here real quick you were in met life to see your favorite band oasis

i was uh it came it hit me a few weeks ago isn't it weird that if you said what are the best rock bands of all time you would say in some order beatles rolling stone and led zeppelin the most influential whatever most iconic before you even get to the first american band if that what is the greatest american band

well

Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band.

Okay.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

That's one of them.

Me,

my number one, though, would probably R.E.M.

I love R.E.M.

You love REM?

I love you.

How have I known you for 15 years and this has never come up?

We're so split on music and we agree on that.

Their entire catalog.

Okay, I drop off somewhere

in the late stage.

Listen, that's the the connection point though, because we don't usually park our cars in the same garage.

My true REM love starts around Automatic for the People, and I loved all their 90s work.

Wow.

And I know you are probably more of the IRS records era pre-major label REM.

But I, yeah, I absolutely adore that band.

And I love, as you know, I'm also a big U2 fan.

One of U2's biggest problems is they never went away.

And so nobody had a chance to miss them.

And look what happened with Oasis, and they're playing stadiums in America, Dave.

After I saw them at Roseland Ballroom in 2003 with 1,500 people, 900 of them were British people who didn't want to see them at Wembley Stadium, so they flew over the pond.

And now they're playing the Rose Bowl.

You have to go away and make people miss you.

And REM's decision to walk away.

It almost had the weird thing is I feel like it backfired for them because they don't seem to have the same cultural hold on the zeitgeist.

They did, but they lost it for exactly that reason for never being a little more mysterious and vanishing for a little and they're not getting back together because that's not their style I respect the hell out of it but I would love to be I'd love to be in the pit with Shek at the REM reunion show but I don't I don't hold my breath Peter Buck makes that band go and you're absolutely right I can my favorite album of theirs changes every six months to 18 months

you know adventures in lo-fi a great one document may be number one though still for me when it's all said and done.

Green is a little underrated.

By the way, REM, I think, is right.

Grateful Dead, the Ramones, Nirvana needs a shout out.

The Doors need a shout out.

Allman Brothers and Skinner tied for all of time.

Modern band record, Shaq, you got a modern.

How about the War on Drugs?

Have you checked them out?

Nah, they're fine.

All right.

I'm just trying to keep you in the culture.

Try to keep me hip.

It's not going to work.

Hey, Dan Hanzus, continued success to you with Heed the Call.

Proud of what you and Sessler have built there.

Muzzletove to Sessler as well on his big personal news.

Connor or everybody else over there rooting for your success and happy to see it.

And not rooting for your success on Sunday.

I'll say it one more time.

Check out Heed the Call.

It's worth your time.

I think you'll enjoy it.

I suspect that a lot of you have beaten me there already.

Now it's time for this week's pick six segment presented by DraftKings.

DraftKings, the crown is yours.

And Mike Fuentes and Gino Fuentes are going to make their picks as well here.

I hope you fellas are all set.

I wanted to introduce something to you that was introduced to me about a year ago by my pal Eddie Spaghetti.

It is the quarterback rushing total bet.

Now, there are guys like Jalen Hurts who you associate or Lamar Jackson with taking off with the ball all the time.

And you see their rush total is 25, 30, whatever it is.

And that's one thing to play.

But there is a hidden opportunity for you, which is the perceived non-running quarterbacks and how often they run.

It's sort of like we could dedicate it to Tua because he's a little bit too aware of a quarterback's ability to take off with the ball.

But the guys who you don't see as scrambling are the guys who will make 10 yards in one run and you will be a winner.

And I'll start it off with a guy like Brock Purdy.

I like him going over 12 and a half rush yards.

He is, in fact, a sneaky good runner.

So that's one of mine.

Next up,

I'm going to go with Joe Burrow, who at the time of this recording is now not up on DraftKings, but his rush total is eight and a half.

So don't include that one officially, but that's another one that he definitely will exceed that.

Now, I mentioned Tua.

I love his over in pass yards.

245 yards and a half is what he's going to go for.

I've said it before.

I will say it again.

The Miami Dolphins 2025 may be an incomplete team.

They may not wind up in the playoffs, but that offense, the way people have slept on it, because I get it, Tua

goes to sleep on the field too many times, but also it is wildly productive.

Just remember what it was two years ago.

I think it's going to look something like that when they take the field this season, and it's going to be a mighty one to overcome.

They're going to be in a lot of shootouts this year.

By the way, they have a decent pass rush, too.

They're strong up front.

They're front seven.

Also, Drake London, at the time of this recording, I think he's going to go over 80 and a half yards.

I mentioned to you already that I think the Falcons are going to steal that game and he will be a big reason why.

Pat Fryermuth, Fryermuth, and all that tight end room getting some buzz from their new quarterback.

I do think he's going to see a lot of targets.

If you consider the Jets' ability to cover up a number one option, I think that means that Pat Fryermuth is going to be open in the seams.

He will get over 26 and a half receiving yards.

And lastly, the guy who people caught on to at the tail end of his great rookie season.

Brian Thomas Jr.

keeps the ball rolling there.

Five and a half receptions.

I'm going over that total.

What do you think?

All right, so let's go with, I'm down with Tua.

I think the Colts have a really bad secondary, and they're going to be indoors.

So I'm down with that one over 245.

If he's going to get there, he's going to need Tyreek.

So he's going to have, I'm going to put Tyreek over five and a half receptions, and that's going to be a nice pairing there.

Mike Evans, the Bucs are down three pass catchers.

And so without Godwin McMillan and maybe not Kate Otten, I think you're going to Mike Evans, easy touchdown there over a half a touchdown.

Justin Fields, under 172.5 passing yards.

I think eventually him and Wilson will get it going, but not in this first game against the Steelers.

And I think you'll agree with me on that one.

Josh Allen on national television against the Baltimore Ravens.

He'll get at least one touchdown on the ground.

And Diggs, Diggs, because that Raiders secondary, Stephon Diggs, I mean, is PFF's worst graded secondary in the league.

And he's going to start in week one for the New England Patriots.

So, over 47 and a half receiving yards there.

I don't expect Stephon Diggs to be relevant 17 weeks.

If you're going to get him and

see him be productive, I think it probably would be sooner rather than later.

So, I don't dislike that one.

Is Mike going to throw some at us here?

Oh, I am.

This is probably the most love that this show all year will give to a Tiger Valova because I too have him going over

out of all the options there on the pick six.

Yards, yeah.

Because it's like Geno said, they have a weak secondary.

The Dolphins, I expect him to throw a lot.

That's something that McDaniel, I know he was this run guru indoors, and he's this run guru coming over from the 49ers, but guess what?

He loves to throw the ball.

So I'm going to pick him there.

Joe Burrow, he has to throw all the time.

It's just in his DNA.

He wants to throw the ball.

He has Jamar Chase.

Why wouldn't he throw the ball if he had Jamar Chase?

Which also leads me to picking Jamar Chase to go over 85 and a half for this game against Cleveland.

Now,

Arizona, they're taking on the New Orleans Saints.

The Saints are going going to be terrible.

James Conner, he always finds a way to score.

So I have him over half a touchdown.

Derrick Henry, the guy only knows how to score touchdowns.

So I got him against Buffalo.

He's going to get one of those from the one, two, three-yard line.

Take your pick where he wants to go.

And now here is where we are the same, yet we differ.

Dave Demaschek, Brock Purdy.

I love a Brock Purdy rushing prop, but I took him one time in the Super Bowl.

I took both him and Mahomes over rushing, and he hit it by a yard.

Okay, and that's the only time I've ever seen him rusher more than 13 yards at at a game.

So while you're taking him over, I'm going to take him under.

Wait a minute.

He won for you and now you're returning the favor by saying under, though that was a fluke.

It wasn't comfy enough for me.

So I'm going to ding him and say under.

Okay.

Yeah, that's right.

And this is the mystery that is my brother.

That's right.

Very strange, very strange math there, but I kind of good stuff, I guess, from the Fuentes brothers.

Ride with Damashek.

That's how you become a winner.

More scores to come.

Okay, so now we're mostly through all the final scores of week one or maybe about halfway we've got to complete the deal though so let's get it over to dave damashek who's standing by in the near future specifically next tuesday to tell us spoiler alert he is going to ruin week one for you by telling you all the rest of the final scores take it away dave

thanks dave love the show

Handsome devil that host there.

Like you say, spoiler alert.

Turn away.

Week one's about to get ruined here.

And we'll start it off with the Packers hosting the Lions.

Micah Parsons' first game wearing the number one.

I hate the week one divisional games, but what's done is done.

It's going to happen.

And the Packers are going to get it.

30-26.

Jordan Love, 320 yards, passing two touchdowns.

Staying in the north.

Showdown of two sophomore QBs and the debut of Ben Johnson in Chicago.

Vikings spoil the debut.

23-20.

It's also J.J.

McCarthy's debut.

They cover and win on the road.

Next up, the big one, the Ravens and the Buffalo Bills are playing.

Ravens at the time of this recording catching a half point in Buffalo.

They're going to win the game outright.

28-24.

A lot of hopes back on the Texans, even after the stumble in 24.

A lot of hopes for Matthew Stafford and the Rams this year.

They're laying two and a half at home.

They cover it 20-16.

The Rams get seven sacks against that lousy O-line for the Texans.

Seahawks and Niners in Seattle, one of the great rivalries of the 21st century.

Can they renew it with Sam Darnold now?

The Niners have kind of run away from Seattle a little bit over the last couple of years.

Niners do win it 24-21.

Ricky Pierce all goes for 100 yards and a touchdown.

Next, Panthers and Jags both joined the league in 1995.

Two Super Bowl appearances between the two.

Trevor Lawrence probably has the edge this year if either were to reach the Super Bowl.

I think the Jags are going to get off on the right foot and cover 26-22.

Patriots and Raiders getting it on.

Tuck bowl game.

Renewal.

Drake May.

Some enthusiasm there.

A lot of optimism where the Raiders are concerned.

I think it's better placed

on the red, white, and blue team in Foxborough.

Patriots get it.

23-18.

They cover the three points they're laying.

Told you the Falcons are going to win their game.

Saints are not going to be good.

I think the Cardinals are a playoff team, but they will barely survive this one.

26-24.

That means the Saints are the right play for you.

And on Friday night, Chargers and Chiefs, I'm doing it.

I told you the Chargers are going to win that division.

I'm going to stand by them for now.

24-23, and thus ends this trip into the near future.

And fellas, I don't know how much time we have left here, but last things first, let's give everybody our picks on America's alleged team against the defending world champions.

Mike, I start with you.

Ooh, tough game.

I feel like morale in Dallas, going to be a little down after Micah got traded away and you're taking on the Super Bowl champion.

I don't know.

Eagles are such a complete team.

Dallas,

you don't really know what to expect from them.

You know, their defense isn't going to be great.

You know, their running game isn't going to be great, so they're going to be leaning on Dak a lot.

It's just tough to see them overcoming this one.

I'm going to take Philadelphia by two scores, I think.

Two scores.

So not even a fun game.

You know, the history since they have played this kickoff game, the home team.

usually pretty good because they're the defending Super Bowl champs.

They tend to win this game.

Of late, though, the Rode team has gone in there and pulled the upset off a couple of times, like I say, in the last half decade.

Gino, how say you?

Well, I think it's going to be a little closer than Mike says.

I think it'll be close at halftime, maybe even tied at halftime.

But I think in the second half, once

Philly finds a way to get around Dallas's defense, I think Dallas is actually going to be a little successful stopping the run with Kenny Clark sitting there in the middle, clogging things up.

But then in the second half, Jalen Hurts will start throwing the ball, and they don't have anything for that either.

So I think the Eagles will win, but it'll take them a little while to get going.

What I like here is going over the total on this one, Dak Prescott and his his pals, and that includes the new George Pickens.

I mean, CeeDee Lamb and George Pickens, and don't sleep on Jake Ferguson either.

That should be a tough-to-handle pass attack all season long, and I don't think the defense is going to be up to snuff all year long.

That means a lot of high point totals.

If you got Dak and company on your fantasy team, you probably did well, or at least I'm predicting you did well.

I am going to take the Eagles by nine to win, so they will win and cover that game.

And that's that.

That's a wrap on the week one episode.

We will be back, like I said earlier.

We are going to start on Monday our twice weekly run here.

We will be covering what you just saw in week one, starting to get right for week two.

And then week two, like we just did here, will be devoted to picking all the games and spoiling them for you.

Bradley, final thoughts?

Eagles 41, Cowboys 7.

Hey, I hope your team wins, unless they're playing my team, and I hope all the teams go to the Super Bowl this year.

With that wish being made now, up to the football gods.

Thanks so much, football Americans.

It's been a thin slice of heaven.

Taki on Monday.