The Big Suey: Hooey & Applesauce (feat. Pennsylvania Jones)

Speaker 1 All right, Smirnoff, official vodka of the NFL, world's number one vodka. Chris Cody, you're with me here.

Speaker 2 Smirnoff!

Speaker 1 Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Spinoff.
I'm gonna ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff. Not your favorite game day drink.
What's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff.

Speaker 1 All right, here's the deal: game day is everything. The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.
Spirit off.

Speaker 1 Smirnoff off belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff! Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

Speaker 1 They've been doing it since 1864, which is, I don't even want to do the math. It's a long time.
It's like when Greg Cody was born. They're award-winning.

Speaker 1 They make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together. So yeah, we do game days.

Speaker 2 That's their thing.

Speaker 1 And if you're over 21, you should too.

Speaker 2 Why, Chris? Smearing off.

Speaker 1 Grab a bottle of Smearinoff at your local retailer and head to Smearinoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Smearing off! Please drink responsibly.
Smearing off.

Speaker 1 Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smearin' Off Company. New York, New York.
Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Smearing off.

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Speaker 8 Welcome to the Big Sue,

Speaker 8 presented by DraftKings.

Speaker 2 Why are you listening to this show?

Speaker 8 It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast.

Speaker 9 I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

Speaker 8 In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

Speaker 2 I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.
I've done it.

Speaker 8 And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Speaker 10 This episode of the Dan Libertar show is presented by DraftKings.

Speaker 2 DraftKings, the ground is yours.

Speaker 2 Dave Damashek will join us here in moments. Football America is a very good podcast, quirky, fun, smart.
Football America Mondays and Fridays. But I want to play the sound again.

Speaker 2 Tony and Mike are on this week.

Speaker 11 This episode is especially smart today.

Speaker 2 Very intelligent episode. Okay, so you guys are being used by Damashek in today's episode of Football America?

Speaker 11 Oh, dude, mid-season awards.

Speaker 11 Where it's finally time where we can have a reasonable Baker Mayfield MVP discussion.

Speaker 2 Before we get to the Hampton Farms winner for nuttiest fan of the week, can you guys just play again the sound of Nick Saban, happy birthday?

Speaker 2 Because all of this is great, but especially great great in the middle of it is the way that Miss Terry really demands: hey, you're gonna sit up for a second in the middle of our football life and you're gonna accept your family's love.

Speaker 2 You're gonna do it very quickly, and I'm gonna get you to do it with two syllables.

Speaker 2 I'm just gonna hit you right in the heart with sit up, and you're gonna spring from that coffin of yours that you've been sitting in all weekend.

Speaker 2 You're gonna spring from it, and you're gonna enjoy your birthday.

Speaker 2 To you,

Speaker 2 happy birthday to you. Sit up.
Happy birthday, dear mama.

Speaker 2 Happy birthday to you.

Speaker 4 Think about a good wish. Good one.
Make it good. Make it good.

Speaker 2 Good. Greece, Italy, cruise

Speaker 2 family.

Speaker 2 More, more, more, more.

Speaker 11 Got a good idea of what that wish was.

Speaker 10 Her timing was impeccable. It's like, happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you. Sit up.
Sit up.

Speaker 4 Waited for the pause.

Speaker 10 Waited for the pause.

Speaker 2 It

Speaker 10 directly on target. Number two, the reason why she has to bark that is because as they're singing and rounding the corner around him, he hasn't moved.

Speaker 2 He's like,

Speaker 10 you could hear the exhale come out of him. I'm like, Jesus God.

Speaker 2 But it is a little strange, right, to see

Speaker 2 eternal leader of men,

Speaker 2 general of toughness, not only being told in a way that is a samurai sword across the face, sit up, but also referred to to as Dada.

Speaker 2 Like the whole thing, it's they were a little confused on what to call him. There was like a lot of like, dad, bug Nick.

Speaker 2 Coach.

Speaker 2 I did not hear a coach in there. I call every coach coach, coach.
I did not, there was no coach in there. Damashek, as you join us now, do you have any thoughts on our Nick Saban happy birthday video?

Speaker 2 Do you have any observations?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Compare and contrast that to who's more disinterested. Nick Saban at his birthday celebration.
Who's more disinterested in the events in that room?

Speaker 4 Saban there or Donald Trump looking at the guy laying on the floor?

Speaker 2 Oh my god. By the way, in this first scene, is that Greg Cody?

Speaker 2 You guys do understand that at that age, the birthday is not happy for him. He doesn't want to be doing any of that.
He wants to be watching the last five minutes of Mahomes against Josh Allen.

Speaker 11 Tommy Taig

Speaker 2 fellas,

Speaker 4 I have a lot of different things that I'd like to address with you.

Speaker 4 The garlic roll incident, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I was told that at Flanagans a week ago, it was alarming how many garlic rolls you ate, and your entire

Speaker 2 face smelled like bad breath.

Speaker 4 That's complete nonsense. That's abject hoo-eye and applesauce.

Speaker 4 I had one garlic roll on my way out the door because I was encouraged to have one. I think it was Chris Cody who was real.

Speaker 2 He said you were crushing them. He said you were crushing the garlic rolls.
He said you were eating them.

Speaker 2 They were like a factory line of garlic rolls going into your face.

Speaker 4 Okay, number two issue to address is: so, Dan Lebetard, I hope you had a good time in Los Angeles.

Speaker 4 You know, maybe we could have crushed some garlic rolls together while you were out here.

Speaker 2 Maybe on your next visit, we could see you. Well, I didn't even know you were in Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 I didn't know where he was. I didn't know where he was based.
I didn't assume it was Los Angeles. I think he's hanging out with Ned Ham in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 4 Your diminishment of Angelino sports fans is semi-fair, but I disagree that they don't know about baseball. You know about baseball? Yes, Los Angeles Dodgers fans do.

Speaker 4 I'm fascinated by the idea because I was talking with

Speaker 4 some of the gang down there last week when I was out. People want to, they have to rationalize reasons to hate.

Speaker 4 idyllic places to live like Los Angeles and Miami. And so they conjure these reasons.

Speaker 4 I could never live there because of hurricanes or earthquakes or whatever else or because of the governor and all of that kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 Which is the better sports town and which one is more hated and which one's titles does the rest of the sports nation

Speaker 4 care less about? I find that subject fascinating. I always say NFL fans in SEC country, it just means less.
It's clear that what really matters in your neck of the woods is how the college teams do.

Speaker 4 What happens on Saturday trumps what happens on Sundays, right?

Speaker 2 Dave, I'm not kidding you when I tell you that I heard three times while I was there of the 18-inning game it described as overtime.

Speaker 2 You're not going to tell me that those people knew what they were talking about. Like, three different times I heard.
What an amazing game last night. It went into overtime.

Speaker 10 Very important question, Dan. Were they talking about the Dodgers game or the Doyers game?

Speaker 2 Because someone who could talk about

Speaker 10 the Doyers game would not say that.

Speaker 2 That is correct. The Dodgers game would not say overtime.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to dig my heels in on that. I do want to say to Jeremy and Beyond, because we were talking about the series, obviously,

Speaker 4 as it was going on a week ago, and then I got back to Los Angeles and watched Saturday night.

Speaker 4 And I guess it speaks to the largesse of pro football in our society at this point that somehow we got to Monday and the Andy Pajes catch was an afterthought.

Speaker 4 That was, I think it will loom 20 years, 50 years from now as one of the iconic plays in sports

Speaker 4 in this millennium. Do you agree? Am I getting hyperbolic?

Speaker 2 Am I a prisoner of a moment?

Speaker 2 I think it will be.

Speaker 2 Regionally, people will remember it. I don't think it's nationally something that people are going to remember.

Speaker 4 Any baseball fan nationally is going to remember that catch.

Speaker 3 A guy who went one for 976 makes one catch, and it's going to be remembered for a millennium?

Speaker 4 That's why. No.
I mean, Roa, there are so events within. I mean, just start the clock at nine in the ninth inning from that point forward.

Speaker 4 The whole series ranks in my lifetime as probably one of the three best World Series we've seen.

Speaker 4 But just from the ninth inning of game seven on and the number of events that happened in it, but, you know, as opposed to, you know, Rojas, it's the improbable home run, but you put that,

Speaker 4 you stack that up with,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 Mazarovsky.

Speaker 2 You can say there were more moments in just extra innings of that series than most World Series have.

Speaker 4 But, you know, Amin at least will relate to this. I was thinking about it in these terms.

Speaker 4 You know, home runs are great, but they're garden variety, classic moments that live for eternity, but they all stack up against each other and which one was the best and all of that.

Speaker 4 I think, sort of like, is chili a soup?

Speaker 4 No, it's something better. It's its own thing.

Speaker 4 And sort of like Godfather,

Speaker 4 every death, every shooting, death, every killing in The Godfather stands out because it's got some weird little quirk. There's a beat that is a little,

Speaker 4 there's a half a beat of oddity when

Speaker 4 Luca Brazzi puts his hand on the on the counter at the bar. There's a weird pregnant pause before they kill him.
And so it goes. I think that's the Pahez thing.

Speaker 4 It's sort of like the Tyree catcher, the Immaculate Reception, or things like that that are just, they are by themselves.

Speaker 3 Andy Pajes,

Speaker 4 you understand, in the bottom of the ninth, with the whole thing on the line, crashed into Kika Hernandez. Once again, reminder, Kiki,

Speaker 4 the accent over the E, the most important accent mark in sports going right now.

Speaker 4 But this guy was going to basket catch it. I don't know if he was going to catch it.
I don't think he was.

Speaker 10 He wasn't going to catch it.

Speaker 2 He wasn't.

Speaker 4 And Andy Pajes trucks the guy.

Speaker 4 And, you know, when you run into another human being at full speed, generally generally speaking it throws off what your assumptions are physically about where things are gonna come to where they're gonna that he catches that ball and sends it to X-Tris is just it's just one of the iconic moments I've seen and nobody is talking about it.

Speaker 10 It's weird. You know what it is, Dave? It's the gun in the bathroom taped to the back of the tank, which by the way, Francis Four Coppola didn't tell Pacino where it was.
So that's why

Speaker 10 he's actually looking for it for real because he has he knows it's there He just doesn't know where, and he's doing that, and he finally finds it.

Speaker 10 And Coppola did that on purpose because he wanted an authentic Michael Corleone to be searching for that gun.

Speaker 4 The best thing in that scene is,

Speaker 4 I'm in one of the all-time scenes in movie history, of course, but

Speaker 4 is watch it again, as I'm sure we all have watched it 394 times at least.

Speaker 4 When Pacino comes out and he sits down and they start talking Italian again,

Speaker 4 they start speaking to each other again. And then the voice goes down.

Speaker 4 A coppola lowers the Italian voice and the train in the background, the volume on that goes up and up and up and it starts to stir in his brain. And that's what drives him to get up and shoot the guy.

Speaker 4 It's just the best.

Speaker 4 But yes, that's another quirk. Okay, subject number two.

Speaker 2 No, hold on a second before you get to subject number two, Dave. Subject yammering Dave Damashek here.
Where was that a plan? It's when you hand up the mic.

Speaker 2 He insists on reviewing movies from the 1970s

Speaker 2 every time. He was too busy eating garlic rolls.

Speaker 10 Vampires were.

Speaker 2 Can we get to for a second? Because you may have heard Amin had an off-mic laugh, and I'm used to all manner of narcissism around here. I know what it is Amin was laughing at.

Speaker 2 A picture was put up of all of us at that Flanagans, and you will see that in the right-hand side, Amin is doing cash patel, and he's laughing at his cash patel in the middle of a photograph of all of us.

Speaker 2 The only thing he's laughing at is looking at his own face.

Speaker 10 To be fair, I started laughing at Chris.

Speaker 4 His hand placement's weird.

Speaker 10 Chris looks like he's about to eat 70 nuggets in that picture right there.

Speaker 2 But then

Speaker 2 I saw myself next to Chris and I started laughing.

Speaker 2 Now, look, let's go to the other photo. No, you, I, when this photo was put up, you were only looking at you and you were only laughing at you.

Speaker 2 When the previous photo was put up, put up that photo, Chris Cody, who says he's never high at work. When the previous photo, you said before a show.

Speaker 2 When the previous photo was put up of Chris Cody,

Speaker 2 Amin's reaction to that was to say to me and to anybody listening, holy shit, Chris Cody is so high in that photo.

Speaker 13 Nah, I'm just having a good time, my boy Dave.

Speaker 10 Pennsylvania Jones.

Speaker 2 Subject number two, Dan Mashek. Go ahead.
I'm surprised Chris got that close to his garlic breath. Oh,

Speaker 4 this is an outrageous attack on me.

Speaker 4 Not why I woke up early on a Friday was to be assaulted verbally and otherwise.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 4 was Jeremy the one in

Speaker 4 the suspenders?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was me.

Speaker 4 I might go suspenders the rest of my life.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 4 Maybe it's time to end the belt.

Speaker 2 Jeremy's fashion just inspired you to

Speaker 2 inspire the rest of your life inspection. I'm a fashion.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 I'm kind of of the age.

Speaker 4 There's certain fashion choices one makes as you transcend the wrong side of things.

Speaker 2 You're fashion forward when only one word will do. You're forwards when one word will do.

Speaker 4 I don't even know what that means, but I'm going to move on to this.

Speaker 2 Hold on, Jeremy's got got something he wants to say here.

Speaker 1 Hold on. No, Chris has something.
Chris.

Speaker 13 Jeremy looks super stoned in these photos. I won't let this slide.

Speaker 2 Oh, get on it.

Speaker 4 Let's go to the flip. Not pie on life, baby.

Speaker 2 You were saying, Dave.

Speaker 4 Well, the other big observation from that party and from my experience in Miami was that Juju is officially too jacked to portray Colin Kaepernick, which I did not anticipate when I got out here.

Speaker 4 But to the color gold, which is one of the colors that the 49ers wear, I am fascinated by the subject of what is what counts as being gold slash yellow. Now,

Speaker 4 I know Tenday Tony doesn't like it when I go Pittsburgh, but you know, the Pittsburgh Steelers colors are properly black and gold.

Speaker 4 Wiz Khalifa may have said black and yellow, but properly, it is black and gold. That color is considered gold alongside the New Orleans Saints and the Rambling Wreck of Georgia Tech.

Speaker 4 Hell of an engineer.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Hey, Amin, do you remember? You're probably a little too young, but Dan does remember it. That was one of the great college basketball teams.
Bobby Cremons and all of that.

Speaker 2 I went to school there because of that. That's the reason he went to Stratton Territory.

Speaker 10 I went there because it was a, because I was like, oh, there's a lot of basketball there. And I thought there were no winters in Atlanta.
That's the other reason.

Speaker 4 Isn't it sad that team didn't, I felt like that team deserved something better for the town.

Speaker 2 Did it have two pros? Two pros or three pros on that team?

Speaker 7 What was Geiger on that team?

Speaker 4 Tom Hammond made it, right?

Speaker 10 Hammond made it. Kenny Anderson made

Speaker 10 John Sally was earlier. Mark Price was earlier.

Speaker 4 No, those guys are 85, 86, before Kenny Anderson.

Speaker 2 I thought you wanted Lehlo Weapon. Kenny Anderson is the reason he went to school there.

Speaker 10 Lethal Weapon 3, right? It was Kenny Anderson, Dennis Scott, and Forrest.

Speaker 4 See, I am older than you, and I just proved it. Yeah, John Sally and Bruce Dalrymple, and Dwayne Pharrell, and those.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm not doing this with you every time you come on, Damasheki. When I was having nostalgia through the 70s, where was that when you handed him the mic?

Speaker 11 Let me ask about Matt Geiger's house, didn't you? Once,

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Speaker 2 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 14 Boodball.

Speaker 14 Football. Football.

Speaker 14 Football. Football.
Football.

Speaker 9 Stugats.

Speaker 14 football, football,

Speaker 14 football,

Speaker 14 football,

Speaker 14 football,

Speaker 14 football,

Speaker 9 football.

Speaker 9 This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 2 The Pittsburgh Steelers, I know they are proudly black and gold, but that color is yellow.

Speaker 2 That color is yellow. Look at that color behind the colour.
I know they identify as black and gold, but that color's yellow. So you said you're fascinated by the differences between gold and yellow.

Speaker 2 What are the differences between gold and yellow?

Speaker 4 I'm not here to articulate the distinction. I'm fascinated by the fact that we call those two things, which are clearly not the same thing.
We call them the same thing, which is gold.

Speaker 2 The terrible towel is clearly yellow.

Speaker 4 Again, this feels like an attack

Speaker 4 on the roots

Speaker 4 on yellow.

Speaker 2 You had 25 garlic rolls. I saw you.

Speaker 10 Why is he dressed like a Ghostbuster?

Speaker 4 Who's dressed like a Ghostbuster?

Speaker 3 Like a Ghostbuster?

Speaker 2 This is a Ghostbuster? Ghostbusters outfit? Yeah, like I'm wearing black.

Speaker 4 I literally put this shirt on and I forgot that I did. I literally put this

Speaker 4 shirt on for you guys because you were talking about the color gold. And I think that it's beige is close enough to pass

Speaker 4 the Georgia Tack Gold.

Speaker 2 That's brown.

Speaker 2 It's brown? It's tacky.

Speaker 11 It's also the same shirt that you wore during our taping of football America.

Speaker 4 I was trying for continuity.

Speaker 4 And by the way, I have to say, spoiler alert, we did already have our conversation, and I think it was a grand one. I enjoyed it immensely.
We did the mid-season awards for this NFL season.

Speaker 4 We discussed things like what guys keep every week you got Mike being responsible for this, perpetuating who's an MVP three weeks in, two weeks in, seven weeks in.

Speaker 4 Okay, now we've transcended the midway point in the season. We can start having this conversation.

Speaker 4 But which guys keep getting mentioned as MVP candidates, even though they have zero chance of ever winning the MVP? Dan, any thoughts on that?

Speaker 2 I hate this every year. I hate that we switch from week to week who's the MVP candidate.
I don't like it

Speaker 2 as an entertainment option generally.

Speaker 10 Dave, this is why I invented the MVP conversation bar because there are people who are in that conversation, but they have no chance of actually winning it.

Speaker 10 See, to gain entrance into the MVP conversation bar, you have to have someone say, he should be in the MVP conversation.

Speaker 2 Are you going to vote MVP for him?

Speaker 10 Well, no. Well, now he's standing in the side.

Speaker 10 Now, the guy in the middle of the bar, holding court, drink in hand, everyone just enrapped with every word he says, that guy, that's the guy who has an actual chance of winning MVP.

Speaker 2 I don't mean to undo or undercut what it is you guys are doing.

Speaker 2 I'm sure you will make it entertaining, but just as a tether, whenever I look up at television and invariably they have to make two hours of sports television, but they only have 30 minutes of sports news, they end up in one of these graphics that says, who's on the hot seat?

Speaker 2 More pressure on somebody. Should somebody be in the MVP conversation when it's all just who are the nine best players in the league?

Speaker 4 How do you react, coach, to a lot of people out there are saying, like, are you one of those people saying it?

Speaker 4 Because you're awfully passive in the way you're setting this question up.

Speaker 4 You don't think that, though, right? Reporter asking the coach that question. You do.

Speaker 2 You see how you look like a Ghostbuster in this photo, right?

Speaker 2 You do. It's the same shirt.
It looks like the same shirt, the same collar. It looks like the same look from bill murray and ghostbuster

Speaker 4 keep it up keep it up i'm gonna lose the shirt and then you're all gonna be sorry for that then i'm gonna then it's not gonna be just mac jones with don't threaten us with a good with the weird nipples um hey

Speaker 4 um yeah i mean i i i love it and as we discuss on football america and

Speaker 4 the my favorite is this is this thing the cheat that the voters have provided themselves, the fallback of like, MVP, no, no, offensive player of of the year. Come on.

Speaker 4 Please, please keep them

Speaker 4 straight here. Like, can you articulate the difference? It's kind of like Steelers gold versus Georgia Tech gold.

Speaker 4 Can you tell me the difference there?

Speaker 2 Yeah, because what's

Speaker 4 offensive player of the year and the other one's the MVP?

Speaker 4 How are you distinguishing between the two?

Speaker 2 Sam Darnold is different this year than last year, right? The Sam Darnold who lost the last two games of the season and spent a bunch of the season winning one score games.

Speaker 2 This is not the same offense, not the same team, not the same quarterback, correct?

Speaker 4 I agree. And then you have to wonder, you know, KOC,

Speaker 4 they offered Sam Darnold in Minnesota, but they didn't offer him the full amount, as it were, the way Seattle did. And so he left and they turned the page to J.J.

Speaker 4 McCarthy as you would have expected them to, given the way Darnold finished the season. He was out there to be had by everybody.

Speaker 4 I wonder if, I know we talk about it a lot, but KOC, in a world of alleged QB whisperers, there are in fact maybe three or five of them. And I think KOC is the genuine article with that.
I mean,

Speaker 4 did he sprinkle fairy dust on Sam Darnold and Daniel Jones? All things kind of run back through. Kyle Shanahan, Sean McVay, Andy Reid, and now KOC, it seems.

Speaker 4 Good quarterbacks who pass through those guys end up better for the experience.

Speaker 4 And even though Darnold and Jones are away from him, they did spend time with him last year and look at them thriving now.

Speaker 2 Do you believe in Seattle and Denver? Are those teams that you're saying to yourself, I do not see them knocked out in the playoffs easily?

Speaker 2 It would be a surprise or not a surprise if Sam Darnold and Bo Nicks are knocked out early.

Speaker 4 Seattle much more so than Denver. Obviously, that offense ain't great, but I also buy that Sean Payton, who probably has lost a little of the luster of being one of those QB whisperers.

Speaker 4 I do think that the way they're constructed, dominant dominant defensively, can bang you

Speaker 4 running the ball. And is Bo Nicks going to be a liability in January? I guess that's the question at this point.
Otherwise, yeah, I buy that team. I think it's a big one.

Speaker 4 Talk about MVPs, guys who will get floated as MVPs who have no chance of winning it, Bo Nicks. I mean, if that team

Speaker 4 wins the AFC West, that alone makes the case.

Speaker 2 Damashekton. I hear you.
Damashek.

Speaker 4 I think it's an absurd thing to say.

Speaker 2 Hey, I'm talking about results.

Speaker 2 Dave, I like you. Don't do this.
Don't do this, Dave. Mike did this to himself earlier this year.
Don't do this.

Speaker 3 Don't do this to me.

Speaker 2 Take those words out of your mouth.

Speaker 8 I am not.

Speaker 4 I am saying what the narrative will be. If they win the division, things get fuzzy.

Speaker 4 How good the individual is.

Speaker 2 Many are saying.

Speaker 4 Now, Dan, a lot of people are talking about Bo Nix as an MVP.

Speaker 2 Nobody's talking about that. No, I know.

Speaker 4 But you know who they're not talking about also more legitimately in the same division is what if the Chargers actually win the division?

Speaker 4 Doesn't Justin Herbert kind of have to be a top two or three candidate?

Speaker 2 Well, Damashett won. I don't hear him mention that.

Speaker 2 One of the things happening with Herbert that is really interesting to me is because he is not won substantively in the playoffs, because some people want to question what looks like the prototype ability of a quarterback.

Speaker 2 People are not taking into account how hard it is to do what he has done given how often he's getting hit. He is getting hit more than any quarterback in the league.
He gets hit all the time.

Speaker 2 The pressure is ridiculous, and he'll probably get knocked out at some point of a game or of the playoffs.

Speaker 2 But that guy is playing extraordinarily well when the moment that Alt goes out on that team, all of a sudden there are seven defenders on him every time Alt goes out, and he's always going out.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and you think about why Jim Harbaugh succeeds everywhere he's gone. He immediately,

Speaker 4 on the first day in the office, he gets to work on the offensive line and becoming physical.

Speaker 4 And so obviously they leaned into that spot in the draft and otherwise. And now both of their dominant, potentially dominant tackles, or at least high pedigree guys, are out now.

Speaker 4 And here come the Pittsburgh Steelers, who looked like junk defensively, inexplicably almost for a giant swath of the first half of the season. Is everything right now?

Speaker 4 Because they turned the Colts over six times to the Steelers zero turnovers? This is a fascinating matchup on Sunday night football.

Speaker 4 If he,

Speaker 4 if Herbert, I mean, that would be another chip, obviously, but this is a huge spot, and I agree with you completely, Dan.

Speaker 4 I would take the Chargers blindly, except for the fact, man, they don't have their tackles.

Speaker 4 And here comes TJ Watt, who's maybe I talk about diminished, maybe a little bit, but Alex High Smith and the rest of that pass rush.

Speaker 4 It's going to be interesting to see how this breaks for both those teams and what it means going forward for these two teams.

Speaker 4 But the game of the day on Sunday, in terms of like, if you're somebody who likes to slow down on the freeway and look at car wrecks, is there anything funnier going right now than the Cleveland Browns going into play the New York Jets?

Speaker 4 And I dare say this may be the saddest note of the entire football season. The Jets, there's a pro football team hosting the Cleveland Browns, and that home team is an underdog to the Browns.

Speaker 4 Can you imagine? Can you imagine the disgrace?

Speaker 2 Fold it up, Woody. Fold it up.
It's over. Put it on the poll, please, at Lebatard Show.
Is Browns Jets the saddest note of this season-long musical?

Speaker 2 Did you guys cover on Football America any or all of the transactions?

Speaker 2 Because I think that the one that people are talking about most is the Colts saying, okay, we're going to line up to try and compete with the Chiefs in the AFC.

Speaker 2 We're going to get somebody who can cover. And the thing you just don't see very much anymore: two first-rounders and a surprise in the middle of the season.
Nobody had the Jets trading Sauce Gardner.

Speaker 2 Sauce Gardner's numbers have gone down for a couple of seasons, but I thought that's because their pass rush has gone down, that that's the reason that that has happened.

Speaker 2 I think one of the reasons Sertan is so good is because that Denver pass rush is amazing with four.

Speaker 2 What did you have to say about the trades, and which one did you find most interesting?

Speaker 4 Well, I think you just hit it with Sauce Gardner

Speaker 4 is, is the one, and obviously, it means a great deal to the Colts.

Speaker 4 It also, um, is interesting more vainly and more, uh, more having to do with uh a conversation I had one week ago today with Pablo Torre, and we talked about the news breakers. Fascinating.

Speaker 4 How, how did the newsbreakers, we, how did the Sauce Gardner trade happen without any of the newsbreakers, the insiders who have their ear to the ground and they have their 17 phones so they can't enjoy dinner and they can't have a normal life?

Speaker 4 None of them saw the Sauce Gardner trade happening. Oh, stunner.
Stunner, eh?

Speaker 2 But yeah, I think that's the insider. Those people are not journalists.

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 the pap of, I hate the grift of that these people

Speaker 4 have some information that they don't actually have.

Speaker 4 What evidence is there? If you're an insider,

Speaker 4 if you're somebody who's talking to both sides, shouldn't you periodically be able to, in advance of the actual news event, tell us, I'm hearing that this is

Speaker 10 happening?

Speaker 10 What are you alleging?

Speaker 4 That those people are not practicing actual journalism. Pablo Torrey is practicing investigative journalism.

Speaker 2 I'm a goon.

Speaker 4 I'm not doing either. I'm cracking wise.

Speaker 4 So I'm not taking slaps at anybody because I'm doing better journalism. I'm not doing any journalism whatsoever.

Speaker 4 I'm talking hooi and applesauce. Now,

Speaker 2 again with the hooey and applesauce reference. Twice.

Speaker 2 Twice.

Speaker 4 Twice or three times.

Speaker 2 I'm adding that to my lexicon. But why applesauce?

Speaker 2 Why is it hooey? Why isn't it sufficient with just hooey? Why are you adding a side of applesauce to that?

Speaker 4 Dan, when you have 10 minutes and you want to have a good laugh, open up

Speaker 4 the thesaurus and look up the word nonsense.

Speaker 4 A good

Speaker 2 real good thick thesaurus.

Speaker 4 The synonyms for nonsense are the best in the world. And Hui and Applesauce are two of my favorites.
And it's a tough list to choose from.

Speaker 4 I think that it's weird. And I've been asking, I was on with Zaz on his show earlier this week, and I talked to Tenday Tony and to Mike about this as well.

Speaker 4 As AFC East observers and people who obsess over it, I feel sad for Dolphins fans, legitimately, that you guys saw Tom Brady leave. So now here's your opportunity.

Speaker 4 By the way, he tried to buy the Dolphins and failed and install himself as quarterback. We've talked about that.
And then in the interim, you think you got the guy.

Speaker 4 The guys, in fact, in McDaniel and Tua.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 It's a whole new era for us here in the AFC East. And then that flames out.
And on the other side, the Patriots have solved the quarterback position once again. So I feel sad for you there.

Speaker 4 The two have-nots in the division, the Dolphins and the Jets.

Speaker 4 Which is more appealing to you? Which seat would you rather sit in as a fan? Because the Jets just gave away two guys who, by position, are essential in pro football in the 21st century.

Speaker 4 Obviously, interior pass rusher and shutdown corner or would-be shut down corner. And now they just, so they get two first-round picks.
basically to replace those guys.

Speaker 4 They just at a cheaper rate is basically

Speaker 4 the bid that they're making here.

Speaker 4 Or the Dolphins, who are kind of just still what they were before the trade deadline, minus one guy who was a, who was a nice player for you, injury prone though he was, which is the better spot to be in.

Speaker 11 When I think about the holidays, I think about the little moments with my dog, Roma, the ones that make the season feel special.

Speaker 2 Put little elf ears on her.

Speaker 7 You know the deal.

Speaker 11 Take some selfies, post it for people that have probably seen it too much. I love my dog.
That's what I'm trying to get at.

Speaker 11 That's why I'm joining Chewy Claws, who's out here making pets' wishes come true. From November 4th through December 24th, you can share your pet's wish at chewy.com slash chewy claws.

Speaker 7 It might come true.

Speaker 11 And it helps others too. Every wish triggers a donation of five meals to shelters and rescues across the country.
And if you share your pet's wish through the Chewy app, they'll double that donation.

Speaker 11 That's 10 meals for pets in need just for participating. I've been using Chewy for years, legitimately.
They've made my life easier for me and my dog Roma.

Speaker 11 Food, toys, meds, all of it shows up fast, no stress. And being part of something like Chewy Claws, where a small thing like a wish can make a real impact, that's the kind of stuff I care about.

Speaker 11 Every pet deserves a wish come true. Send your pet's wish to chewy.com slash chewyclaws.
It might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate five meals to pets in need.

Speaker 3 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Speaker 6 So these days are just getting shorter, right? It's dark at like 4.30, 5 o'clock now, and I swear it's messing with me. And that's when it hits you.
This time of year can be tough for a lot of people.

Speaker 6 And look, we all get busy. Sports, work, family, but it's still important to check in with the people you love.
Text friends, call your mom, hit up that one buddy you haven't seen since last season.

Speaker 6 You never know who might really need to hear from you. BetterHelp's all about that too.
Reaching out, connecting, talking it out.

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Speaker 6 They've been doing this for over 12 years, helped over 5 million people, and they've got a 4.9 rating from over 1.7 million reviews. Reach out, check in.

Speaker 6 You'll probably end up asking yourself, why didn't I do this sooner? This month, don't wait to reach out.

Speaker 6 Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take the first step.

Speaker 6 Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash DLB. That's betterhelphelp.com slash DLB.

Speaker 11 Folks, the leaves are turning. The weather's getting a little chillier.
That means the football games are more important.

Speaker 3 That means football time.

Speaker 11 Should be Miller time.

Speaker 11 Game day hits different with a Miller light in your hand. From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, my fantasy season's over already, but you know what makes that better? Miller Time!

Speaker 11 It's the beer that's been there for every moment. 50 years of grape taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color you can spot from across the room.
And here's the kicker.

Speaker 11 It's just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Speaker 11 So whatever your game day looks like, remember Miller time is always a good time. Miller Light Grape Taste 96 calories.
Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you.

Speaker 11 Or you can pick up Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller Time.
Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 2 Don Lebatard. While there's nothing official.
And conversations are still ongoing.

Speaker 4 Was that a fake chef turkey? Because it was.

Speaker 2 It was pretty good. It was excellent.
I feel like there's legs. I tried at the beginning and then I lost confidence in it.
Wow. It was good.
It was good. You got this.
Nothing official.

Speaker 2 The conversations are still ongoing.

Speaker 2 Stugats. It is trending towards Nick Siriani remaining the head coach of the Eagles.

Speaker 9 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 10 Dave, I have an update for you. I went to the thickest, heaviest thesaurus I could find, thesaurus.com, and I put in nonsense.

Speaker 10 And under,

Speaker 10 they've got three categories. Strongest Strongest matches, strong matches, and weak matches.
Under strong matches, I did.

Speaker 2 I found Hooi.

Speaker 10 I did not find applesauce anywhere.

Speaker 2 I got to be honest, I'm a little surprised that he will never in his life go again with another segment that has a player named Sauce traded in it.

Speaker 2 And he went Hooey and Applesauce twice without doing anything with Sauce Guard.

Speaker 10 He didn't play on words at all.

Speaker 2 Didn't do anything. He'll never have that opportunity again.

Speaker 4 Well, you just cleaned it up for me. We'll fix this in post, right?

Speaker 4 Somebody can edit this all together, so it sounds like I got it. This is live.

Speaker 10 Clap Trap is one of the ones on the list that I kind of, I like that one. Clap Trap.
Try to work that out.

Speaker 11 Twiddle, Twaddle.

Speaker 4 I are two of them.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Tri-

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 2 Have you guys ever heard the expression hooey and applesauce? That's not the same thing. No, I Googled it, and the first thing that comes up is Dave Jamashek.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a tweet of his from 2016 saying hooey and applesauce.

Speaker 2 There's fandom.com. He's kind of like Greg Cody in that way.

Speaker 3 A phrase regularly used by Dave Damashek.

Speaker 2 Like dancing swords a little bit. Get him out of here.
It's Football America. It's Monday and Friday.
Thank you, Dave. Good talking to you.
We are done with you now.

Speaker 10 Enough of that. Go bust some ghosts.

Speaker 2 Rambling rack. Football America.
I don't know the difference between gold and yellow. I don't know why the Steelers are.
The Steelers are. Look, I'm looking at the uniform.
It's yellow. That's yellow.

Speaker 2 that's not gold I don't gold

Speaker 2 I think of gold as being a harder kind of yellow yellow is brighter than gold yeah I don't know what distinctions you guys are making between yellow and gold but yellow is brighter than gold let them gaslight you into this Wiz Khalifa had it right it's yellow

Speaker 2 Black and gold wouldn't have been a good song black and gold black and gold no Pittsburgh Pirates also black and yellow Pittsburgh Penguins

Speaker 11 yeah we've covered this extensively the entire city has the same color scheme

Speaker 7 for the penguins started as uh blue but they switched to black and yellow.

Speaker 12 Really?

Speaker 7 Yes, yes. Come on, play with us here, Roy.

Speaker 2 Put it on the poll at Lebetard Show. Did you know that the Pittsburgh Penguins started with blue instead of black and yellow? And put it on the poll at Lebetard Show.

Speaker 2 Could you articulate to your friends the difference between gold and yellow? Who is our Hampton Farms nuttiest fan winner after doing the nominees? I don't know who the nominees were.

Speaker 2 You're having a lot of trouble with that costume.

Speaker 2 How swampy is it in that costume, Chris Cody?

Speaker 13 They call me Dave Dampeschek.

Speaker 4 Oh, Dan, this week's Hampton Farms winner, congrats to shirtless ab guy

Speaker 2 of the Colorado Boulders.

Speaker 13 They are this week's nuttiest fan.

Speaker 15 Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season.

Speaker 2 It's been unpleasant as a costume, correct?

Speaker 13 I'm telling you, way worse than the wings.

Speaker 2 Really? The nuggets. Is it tougher than my cowboy costume?

Speaker 11 Because that was.

Speaker 2 I don't want to do that again. This stinks.

Speaker 2 Let me ask you guys a question from all of last weekend's football.

Speaker 2 There was one story that caught my eye more than any of the others, and it was the story that Brian Schottenheimer, the coach of the Cowboys, I'm guessing you guys didn't see this, but this seems like it would be a pretty major inconvenience.

Speaker 2 Brian Schottenheimer, the night before the game against the Cardinals that they lost,

Speaker 2 was thinking about leaving his house entirely and staying somewhere else because

Speaker 10 an owl had gotten into his house

Speaker 2 and he couldn't get rid of the owl, didn't know how to get rid of the owl, and was confused as to what do I do now.

Speaker 2 There is an owl in my house. And so I'm asking all of you in practical terms: A, put it on the poll at Lebetard Show: have you ever had an owl in your house?

Speaker 2 And B, outside of calling pet control, what would you guys do if the owl, a notoriously dumb dumb bird, even though it has the reputation for being wise, a big bird, a bird of prey that might do something to your pets?

Speaker 2 I don't know whether an owl would like to have a small dog or a small cat that it would like to get into a fight with. What would any of you do if there were an owl in your house?

Speaker 2 How the hell do you get an owl out of your house? Sorry, who are we talking about?

Speaker 7 Brian Schoenheimer. Who? Who?

Speaker 2 Don't do that. Who?

Speaker 2 I should.

Speaker 2 You should get out, Roy, for for asking, for answering that question, Roy, you need to get out and take Jeremy with you. Okay, come on, Jeremy.

Speaker 3 A who joke off of it.

Speaker 2 By the way, good luck with Chris doing this job.

Speaker 2 Hey, what are you doing, Day? You're sabotaging the channel.

Speaker 11 I don't have an owl in my house, but I have an owl outside my house that lives in my fishtail palms.

Speaker 11 And it was a terrifying experience when I discovered this because it was dusk and I was just chilling on my phone outside watching my dog. And this pterodactyl flies into my fishtail palms.

Speaker 11 I like dropped my phone. I hit the ground.
I didn't know what was going on.

Speaker 11 And then like I was looking for it and a couple days later, it was just camouflaged in my fishtail palms staring right at me. I'm afraid of birds because I was attacked when I was younger by a bird.

Speaker 11 I didn't call animal control. I don't exactly know what to do.

Speaker 2 Then I had another raptor, another bird of prey.

Speaker 11 chasing a smaller bird directly into my fishtail palms as well. Crash, thundering.
It's like when they lowered that calf into the raptor pit in Jurassic Park. I don't like this one bit, Dan.

Speaker 10 So, to be clear, the bird wasn't terrified of your terrifying dog.

Speaker 11 My terrifying dog is a whipping and you know, mid-sized.

Speaker 10 I'm just saying, it looks terrifying.

Speaker 2 I know, if I were

Speaker 11 the bird was bigger.

Speaker 2 I know you think my dog is ugly and I think it's frightening.

Speaker 10 It looks like an alien. If I were a bird, I'm like, what the hell is that?

Speaker 2 I'd like Mike to explain again what he did when first seeing this bird, because

Speaker 2 it sounded like you dropped your phone and then combat rolled.

Speaker 2 You hit the ground. You got low.
You got to get low. Do we have security footage of this? When someone buzzes the tower, Danny, you go low.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 Who was it? Was it doggy that said stay low?

Speaker 2 You got to stay low.

Speaker 3 That's exactly what I was doing.

Speaker 2 I don't know if another one's coming. Who is he telling the stay low? I don't know what's happening, right? It was Tom Brady's dad.

Speaker 2 Tom Brady's dad originally. I'll get it.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 10 he did it again this week. We played the sound of him talking about

Speaker 10 the Dodgers play-by-play guy, and he was really upset that he hosted

Speaker 2 the championship parade.

Speaker 10 And so he told him, hey, because you're the national voice, you do the Fox games, whatever, you got to stay low.

Speaker 10 The Dodgers should have told him, stay low

Speaker 3 until the heat

Speaker 10 goes over or whatever.

Speaker 2 We are going to sit here and stare at Chris Cody until he figures out how to find the sound of Mad Dog

Speaker 2 telling Tom Brady's dad to stop doing interviews and to just stay low as a personality. We're gonna just keep watching a terrified Chris Cody,

Speaker 2 Dave Dampichek, try to figure out how to work the console.

Speaker 10 To explain to people who are listening or watching, Chris is moving his head rapidly up and down. The reason why is because he can only see through the mouth hole.

Speaker 2 So he has to look down to the keyboard and then look up. But also, the way that he's moving suggests, even though we can't see his face, a complete and total panic.

Speaker 2 Now he's got to find

Speaker 2 how to use his paw in order to hit the right button. He's got to take off his paw and hit the right button.
Come on, you can do it, Chris.

Speaker 2 I feel the segment's ending and you're almost there. Give us the sound we need of Mad Dog criticizing Tom Brady's dad in a way that's not going to be a good idea.

Speaker 2 We'll just wait for it. Shut the hell up.

Speaker 15 Shut up. Keep your mouth shut.
Your son got nailed. Keep your freaking mouth shut.

Speaker 15 Framegate, my.

Speaker 15 Keep your... Shut up.

Speaker 15 Stay low. Shut the hell up, framegate.
You mean, are you kidding me?

Speaker 15 Come on, a guy cheated, folks. Let's be honest.

Speaker 15 Frank, I gotta listen to Tom Brady's old man now, who, you know, who's lived in the bubble, you know, and has lived under the scenario where his kid's been a phenomenal player all this time.

Speaker 15 And now he's trying to make excuse, now he's trying to disparage the guy who spent 246 pages writing about it shut up put that guy on see if he's got the guts to talk to somebody's gonna ask him a tough question go ahead better yet put his son on let's see what he has to say put this shot on

Speaker 15 don't hide usa today come on come on talk shows hey come right now come on right now say that to me say that to anybody say it to somebody

Speaker 11 Folks, the leaves are turning. The weather's getting a little chillier.
That means the football games are more important.

Speaker 3 That means football time should be Miller time.

Speaker 7 Game day hits different with a Miller light in your hand.

Speaker 11 From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, my fantasy season's over already, but you know what makes that better? Miller time!

Speaker 11 It's the beer that's been there for every moment. 50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color you can spot from across the room.
And here's the kicker.

Speaker 11 It's just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Speaker 11 So, whatever your game day looks like, remember Miller time is always a good time. Miller Light Grape Taste 96 Calories.
Go to MillerLite.com/slash Dan to find delivery options near you.

Speaker 11 Or you can pick up Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller Time.
Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.