Local Hour: The Bicycle in the Barbie Room

Speaker 2 All right, Smirnoff, official vodka of the NFL, world's number one vodka. Chris Cody, you're with me here.

Speaker 4 Smirnoff!

Speaker 2 Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Spinoff.
I'm gonna ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff! Not your favorite game day drink. What's your favorite game day food?

Speaker 3 Smirnoff!

Speaker 2 All right, here's the deal: game day is everything: the noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again. Spirit off.

Speaker 2 Smirnoff off belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff!

Speaker 7 Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

Speaker 2 They've been doing it since 1864, which is, I don't even want to do the math. It's a long time.
It's like when Greg Cody was born. They're award-winning.

Speaker 2 They make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together. So yeah, we do game days.
That's their thing. And if you're over 21, you should too.

Speaker 8 Why, Chris? Smearing off.

Speaker 2 Grab a bottle of Smearinoff at your local retailer and head to Smearinoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Smearing off.
Please drink responsibly. Smearing off.

Speaker 2 Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smearinoff Company.
New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.
Smearing off.

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Cuervo.

Speaker 11 What are you doing here? Cuervo.

Speaker 12 Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

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Speaker 10 Cuervo.

Speaker 17 Cuervo.

Speaker 10 The tequila that invented tequila.

Speaker 18 Proxima, Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly.
Cuervo.

Speaker 19 I am so excited for this spa day.

Speaker 20 Candles lit.

Speaker 19 Music on.

Speaker 19 Hot tub warm and ready.

Speaker 19 And then my chronic hives come back. Again, in the middle of my spa day.
What a wet blanket. Looks like another spell of itchy red skin.

Speaker 19 If you have chronic spontaneous urticaria or CSU, there is a different treatment option. Hives during my next spa day? Not if I can help it.
Learn more at treatmyhives.com.

Speaker 12 Chris, I'm worried about today's show. There's a lot going on.
I believe Zaslo just snorted or cleared his sinuses. Don't wait to laugh.
Okay, I think you're sick. I'm not sick.

Speaker 23 All right, so

Speaker 12 I've got Jeremy.

Speaker 12 He is dressed in George Harrison's costume as part of his punishment. It's a bit distracting.

Speaker 24 My dad's wearing his headphones weird.

Speaker 12 I've got, well,

Speaker 12 your dad is mad about everything that happened to him yesterday in his own home, a home he hit 1440.

Speaker 21 I wish we were on video right now, guys. Hey, Greg, are you all right?

Speaker 25 Honestly, are you okay?

Speaker 12 Yeah, we're not on video right now.

Speaker 20 That looks like he's tripping balls.

Speaker 28 Greg, if I told you your dad was tripping balls, you'd be like, that's what it looks like.

Speaker 12 Greg, do you know that the shadow show isn't anything but audio? Like when you're making faces. What was that with your head?

Speaker 13 Like, what were you just doing?

Speaker 29 Well, first of all, normally it starts off with shadow show.

Speaker 24 I haven't done that in months. And stuff like that.

Speaker 12 We did do it last week, but defined normally.

Speaker 25 We had to do it.

Speaker 26 Yeah, I didn't hear that.

Speaker 12 All right, so let's start over here. Chris, yes, go because the shadow show is meant to be as if we don't know we're on air.

Speaker 26 The audio shows.

Speaker 31 Shadow show.

Speaker 31 Shadow show. Shadow show.

Speaker 31 Shadow show. Shadow show.

Speaker 31 Shadow show.

Speaker 31 Shadow show.

Speaker 17 Shadowing it.

Speaker 29 I'm not hearing anything.

Speaker 18 Oh, okay.

Speaker 27 All right. All right, what's going on here? Are you going to gaslight me?

Speaker 32 No, he's tripping balls, dude.

Speaker 21 That's what it is.

Speaker 27 Yeah, he's tripping balls.

Speaker 25 You know how to turn up your headphones?

Speaker 33 You know, okay, he can't hear us for real. Greg, I'm going to go.

Speaker 12 You've got to turn up your headphone. You're not ready for this.

Speaker 18 I actually like this video.

Speaker 12 You're not ready for the start of the show. All you've got to do is turn up your headphones.
Your headphone knobs are not here. It's touching his computer.

Speaker 34 It's not on your computer.

Speaker 12 How do you know so little about what we're doing?

Speaker 12 How do you think the show?

Speaker 17 Shadows.

Speaker 21 How do you think with your computer?

Speaker 32 You got to turn up the volume, Dan.

Speaker 18 Shadow show.

Speaker 29 Somebody was sabotaging me.

Speaker 17 Shadow show. Seriously.

Speaker 30 Intentionally. Sazzlo.

Speaker 12 Sazlo, explain to people what just happened as someone who's routinely disgusted by how little Greg Cody knows about how to do this.

Speaker 7 You know, this is the way I love to start the week with Cody just not understanding how to do a radio.

Speaker 12 Greg, you were trying to fix your headphones on your computer.

Speaker 29 It's true that someone had turned down the volume on my microphone. Why? I have no idea.
Could it be sabotage?

Speaker 36 It's possible.

Speaker 29 I need to investigate.

Speaker 12 He's also mad, Chris. He's also mad because I got Mike.
Mike is unhinged, okay? I can't harness the way Mike feels about the University of Miami.

Speaker 12 I can't do a month of this. I can't do a month of this.

Speaker 3 Well, you're about to.

Speaker 12 But Greg is enraged at what happened in his living room yesterday

Speaker 12 because

Speaker 12 he wanted Messi in his living room the best player in the world during a playoff game, and he couldn't move his family off Saints Falcons.

Speaker 29 It was so ridiculous.

Speaker 29 In the main room with our main TV, by habit, on a late Sunday afternoon, they have on Red Zone, right? So they're watching all this stuff. I hate Red Zone because

Speaker 29 90% of the time you're watching something that doesn't really matter. You're watching Geno Smith try to evade his 10th sack of the game by Miles Garrett in a meaningless game.

Speaker 29 When on another channel, Craig, save it.

Speaker 23 Let's start the show. Save it.

Speaker 12 Just save it.

Speaker 38 This is the Don Levatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

Speaker 12 Are you winded from watching yourself do that intro? Are you winded from in here singing to yourself?

Speaker 12 That's what just happened, isn't it, Saslo?

Speaker 7 I think he's winded from celebrating himself.

Speaker 29 Well, who knew that pantomiming something, lip-syncing, would be so exerting? But it was. What a banger of a song.
Yeti Blanc in the house.

Speaker 29 Even though he's not in the house, but figuratively.

Speaker 24 You're like Jameis yesterday giving a speech.

Speaker 18 We outside, even though we're inside.

Speaker 20 Five past the hour.

Speaker 12 Jameis was wonderful yesterday. So many wonderful trick-or-treats with Jameis yesterday.
Look, yesterday was spectacular for a number of different reasons.

Speaker 12 Like over here, Romo's telling you, here comes playoff Mahomes, and here comes Mahomes with the single biggest by number deficit comeback in his career because he does this the way Tebow did it.

Speaker 12 Tebow's the last quarterback to be this good in games like this at the end of games like this when he's got a deficit of 10 or more in a game.

Speaker 12 The football of yesterday was great and Greg Cody was trying to watch.

Speaker 40 We're all looking around like, did he just compare Patrick Mahomes to Tim Tebow?

Speaker 12 Yeah, well, the number was, this is what I'm saying.

Speaker 16 I mean, even your own body stopped in its tracks for like five seconds.

Speaker 33 Like, it was awesome.

Speaker 18 Did I really pause?

Speaker 39 Did I really, am I about to compare the greatest quarterback we've ever seen to Tim Tebow?

Speaker 3 That pause terrified me. I got confused.

Speaker 18 I was trying to get a bad thing. The game got confused.

Speaker 28 That's how bad of a take it was.

Speaker 12 I'm going to give you the take Rhys said a different way, but the show's moving too fast, even though it hasn't started. Mahomes is now 20 and 18 in games where he's trailed by 10 or more points.

Speaker 12 2018 for his career. It's the best quarterback record of any kind like that since Tim Tebow, who did it at five and six.

Speaker 12 Like when you're down 10 in games like this, you tend to lose them in the fourth quarter. And that Tebow miracle, people thought he could play quarterback.
You're right. You've derailed me.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 12 The thing that happened, though, yesterday, as Mahomes is saving his season and Romo's telling you that that guy's coming. Here comes playoff Mahomes.

Speaker 12 Greg Cody is unable to get the best real football player in the world on his television, having three assists and a goal as Inter Miami wins after a month-long wrestling match with many rest days, wins the biggest game in its history.

Speaker 12 And Messi is the greatest player in the world. And Greg Cody could not get it on the big television in his home.
He was an outcast in his own home. He couldn't do picture in picture.

Speaker 12 He had to watch Saints Falcons.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 29 Well, I had to watch Red Zone, which is worse because it's Saints Falcons times five or six, where they're going back and forth between games I don't care about watching. Good games yesterday.

Speaker 29 While the goat of goats, Leon Messi, is absolutely taking the semifinal, the Eastern Conference semifinal on his shoulders. He's saying, I'm 38 years old.
I'm still better than you are.

Speaker 29 I'm still better than anybody.

Speaker 29 I don't know about you, Mike, but we're three years into Messi now.

Speaker 29 I still find it hard to believe that Inner Miami was able to sign Lionel Messi and that he still is so great. So I'm trying to watch this on the big screen.

Speaker 29 Turns out we can't get Apple TV on our big screen for some reason. I have no idea.
It's above my pay grade. Fire stick.
I don't know. Something's going on in my house.

Speaker 12 So you just can't get

Speaker 25 inputs, HDMI2. We all know that.

Speaker 29 It's ridiculous, all these sayings.

Speaker 18 So

Speaker 29 I got to relegate myself to the Barbie room to watch Lena Messi

Speaker 35 room. Smaller TV.

Speaker 30 What's a Barbie room?

Speaker 29 It's my granddaughter,

Speaker 29 it's like a playroom. It's a combination, my wife's office and my workout room, workout room, and the Barbie room.
Hell yeah.

Speaker 29 You know, so anyway.

Speaker 5 So you're just sitting there with a bunch of Barbie dolls around you?

Speaker 32 Yeah, that's exactly right.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 12 It's a girl's, it's a girl's, a little girl's room and your workout room?

Speaker 29 Yeah, I have my stationary bike in there.

Speaker 12 When's the last time that was stationary?

Speaker 20 Very stationary.

Speaker 20 I don't keep that.

Speaker 24 But the last time you were on it when we did the Greg Cody show, like where I walked into the room as if I was interrupting a workout, just like a pretend workout, just for the video.

Speaker 29 Don't be ridiculous.

Speaker 12 When was the last time you exercised on the bicycle in the Barbie room?

Speaker 29 Oh, let me think. You know, let me think of an exact date.
I don't know. I meant to do it over the weekend to make up for the physical therapy session I had to skip.

Speaker 12 Months ago, years ago?

Speaker 37 Oh, months ago.

Speaker 29 Weeks. Weeks sounds better.
Couple of weeks.

Speaker 42 Several days.

Speaker 12 What is in that room that you have? Is there a plate? Is there a recliner of any sort? Look, this is the home you... This is 1440.
How long have you lived in 1440?

Speaker 29 Well, it's not literally 1440. It wants to be.

Speaker 30 This all makes perfect sense to me.

Speaker 29 We've lived there since Christopher was a boy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, 1440 is his childhood home. Yeah.

Speaker 20 Our house. Come on, Dan.
Catch it on 1440.

Speaker 18 Christopher's childhood home.

Speaker 12 My apologies. You've lived in this home for how long?

Speaker 29 Since he was a boy, I don't know. All right, I was two.

Speaker 1 30 years.

Speaker 12 This is the home. This is the home for dolphin Sundays across three decades

Speaker 12 where you watch the game that you want on Sunday afternoon, but now there are too many inputs and

Speaker 12 you can't get the real football. You're stuck with the American football.
When Lionel Messi, best player in the world,

Speaker 12 when you say you can't get your head around it, what Greg's watching on his television, he covered the Fort Lauderdale Strikers 50 years ago. He's like, what is this in Miami?

Speaker 12 How is it possible that a championship can be won with this player in this town on this team? And I can't even watch it in the big room in my house. I'm in the Barbie room.
What's in the Barbie room?

Speaker 29 It, you know, a bunch of toys,

Speaker 29 a closet full of shoes,

Speaker 3 you know. A couch, a desk.
Yeah,

Speaker 29 it's an unremarkable room.

Speaker 7 Why can't you get some control of your house, man, if you want to watch Messi on the big TV instead of Saints Falcons? Well, part of the issue. Get some hand, man.

Speaker 29 Part of the issue is that we literally can't get Apple TV on the big TV.

Speaker 24 My mom just tells him things.

Speaker 29 But the disappointment is that nobody else herded with me into the Barbie room to watch.

Speaker 7 Was it one of those? Who's coming with me? Yeah.

Speaker 29 And they're all watching Red Zone. They're like a bunch of zombies staring at me.

Speaker 12 So you were lonely in your corner of the house loving soccer as the rest of your family loved a different sport in another room. Correct.

Speaker 7 But what's the seating setup in the Barbie room? If it's everybody come with me, I feel like you're sitting on a bed watching.

Speaker 29 No, there were, it's a large fold-out couch, seats three or four, chair seats, one.

Speaker 18 This sounds lonely.

Speaker 12 A happy moment in Miami sports history for you sounds like it was lonely in your own home.

Speaker 29 It wasn't an historic win. First time they've ever been to the East.

Speaker 7 When Messi scored and they went up 1-0, did you cheer like loud so maybe others would come and see what's going on in the Barbie room?

Speaker 29 I do find myself cheering.

Speaker 44 Messi's doing it again. If you want to catch it and join me.

Speaker 29 And nobody.

Speaker 3 Jump and Charlie wouldn't even go in.

Speaker 17 In the Barbie room.

Speaker 29 No, nobody's coming in because, you know, Jacoby Brissette is in the red zone.

Speaker 26 You know, it's like so red.

Speaker 32 It's a big game, by the way.

Speaker 46 Did you see Shadur Sanders throw that bomb?

Speaker 47 Number 16.

Speaker 20 I don't even know who that guy is.

Speaker 1 The new kid.

Speaker 44 The new kid just scored.

Speaker 46 Essie with an assist.

Speaker 44 The new kid.

Speaker 35 I call him Leo.

Speaker 44 We bench swore it's for the kid.

Speaker 28 And the kid answered the bell.

Speaker 12 Did anyone in your home step foot in the Barbie room during the historic real football being played in your lonely corner of the house?

Speaker 29 Only when my wife came in to say, when are you ready to eat? Because, you know, the egg noodles are on the boil.

Speaker 17 Am I ready to eat?

Speaker 48 Messi's eating right now.

Speaker 12 That's his third assist.

Speaker 20 Damn right.

Speaker 29 That guy don't quit. 38 years old.

Speaker 29 A wonderful coaching job by Mashurano.

Speaker 49 I mean, it is bold to pull out Luis Fuarez from that starting lineup and go with the New Walls Old Boys signing Mateo Silvetti, but that bet has paid off.

Speaker 12 What are you laughing about, Tony? This is great.

Speaker 50 Like, they might be making this up, and I have no idea, because I was locked into Tyler Shuck.

Speaker 18 Why were you locked into that?

Speaker 20 I mean,

Speaker 20 look, I understand.

Speaker 25 You don't like it.

Speaker 47 Dornell Mooney had three for 74 and a score.

Speaker 51 It's not like the four o'clock hour had anything going on for it. I thought the most compelling story was.

Speaker 18 Cowboys Eagles was awesome. Kayak.
Cowboys Eagles.

Speaker 51 That's all right. That was a nice little second screen experience for me.

Speaker 41 Messi trying to win the biggest game in club history at a team that he lost 3-0 to earlier in the season.

Speaker 25 That didn't pop you.

Speaker 47 I don't know what will.

Speaker 50 Mike, Michael Wilson had 10 for 118, his second second game in a row with Boyd Sanders.

Speaker 51 He was responsible for all four goals.

Speaker 15 Tyler Shuck, are you not listening?

Speaker 44 Scored the first one, got three assists.

Speaker 20 He's playing his best footy right now.

Speaker 15 Sanders showed him what time it was.

Speaker 7 I was annoyed yesterday, man, because I haven't been watching Intermiami in a long time because I told you I was out on Innermi. I don't like that Suarez's behavior.

Speaker 7 They're not a likable team right now. But it was a semifinal.

Speaker 18 Wait, wait, you say right now.

Speaker 23 Well, they benched Suarez yesterday. They benched him.

Speaker 22 I like that. Hold him up.

Speaker 12 Hold on. They're not a likable team right now.
Let's call it for what it is.

Speaker 12 You were out on this team after Suarez spit on somebody because they were representing Miami in a way that you did not like so much.

Speaker 12 They were overshadowing the best player in the world because Luis Suarez is, very publicly, exhibits the behavior of an asshole internationally across oceans.

Speaker 12 Everyone knows this, and they took on the personality of Luis Suarez.

Speaker 5 And they didn't condemn it either.

Speaker 12 Unlikable, didn't condemn it, didn't punish it. No, that's who we are.
We'll spit in your face. We've got Lionel Messi.

Speaker 12 But this by itself yesterday was just Lionel Messi being all the things, the majestic things that he is to bring a signature win to Miami that you're out on because you are watching.

Speaker 12 Wait, I don't understand. A.J.
Brown's got 110 yards and catches. Why they lose it?

Speaker 29 I mean, this was a must-win game on the road.

Speaker 33 That's how playoffs usually roll.

Speaker 25 Must-win for MCA.

Speaker 7 Okay, but it usually is key here because for some reason, the first round is a series. And the more important the games get, it's not a series.

Speaker 43 I get it.

Speaker 29 get it every game's do or die right now and it was a road game in a raucous atmosphere yes in Cincinnati on a day that the Bengals played didn't matter that that crowd was electric and the goat shut them up right absolutely it was magical and and it's always interesting to to watch and hear uh an inner Miami game on the road because there are messy fans there like I'm not saying they they outnumbered Cincinnati fans but but they're everywhere I mean he is growing the support like look this has been weirdly this is weird, what I'm about to say.

Speaker 12 This has been a spectacular success that isn't because they've done just about everything wrong, but they've gotten the soccer right.

Speaker 12 Like, the way they've sold their sport, putting it behind a paywall, they made egregious business errors, but they've still got the best player in the world being the best player in the world as major changes are going to come to this business.

Speaker 12 And the miracle is so, Messi's going to get that stadium built in this city next to the airport, and he's gonna grow the sport in America being better than everyone else still at 38 years old.

Speaker 14 But Mike, what I'm hard to quantify that when their attendance is down and their TV ratings are down, and MLS realizes they are their ways, and the partnership with Apple has an early opt-out that Apple has jumped at.

Speaker 41 This has not worked out the way that MLS...

Speaker 49 planned for.

Speaker 13 They've decided they're going to do away with MLS season pass.

Speaker 49 Basically, if you just have Apple TV, now you get the MLS.

Speaker 41 Nice.

Speaker 40 The paywall was a huge mistake.

Speaker 7 I didn't get to watch last night.

Speaker 41 They're back to 2021 levels of attendance, which is not what the sustainable growth model chart was telling us because this was a live event sport.

Speaker 40 All the buzz from Messi seems to have evaporated, and they're playing their most consequential games during the NFL window.

Speaker 7 And playoff games might have paywalls bad.

Speaker 41 Yeah, but thankfully they're altering the calendar, and it seems as though MLS is going to learn from this, but it's a shame.

Speaker 14 They've kind of wasted the Messi thing.

Speaker 29 I agree. I mean, mean the Apple TV thing was a huge blunder, but the new stadium is Legacy's or Messi's Legacy, and they've already set the opening date.
It's April 4th.

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Speaker 15 Folks, the leaves are turning.

Speaker 53 The weather's getting a little chillier.

Speaker 30 That means the football games are more important.

Speaker 23 That means football football time should be Miller time.

Speaker 11 Game day hits different with a Miller light in your hand.

Speaker 48 From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, my fantasy season's over already, but you know what makes that better?

Speaker 10 Miller time!

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Speaker 16 Celebrate responsibly.

Speaker 54 Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Speaker 54 Real quick, want to talk to you about how Game Time is the official ticketing partner of the the Dan Lebatard show.

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Speaker 14 I travel for football.

Speaker 51 If I'm in a new city, I like to see what concerts are in town.

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Speaker 54 Because it gives me zone deals, favorites, panoramic seat views.

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Speaker 22 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 6 I feel like we need to normalize saying the scientific terms for

Speaker 6 organs on the air.

Speaker 10 Like if someone, yes, you know what?

Speaker 6 If someone takes a foul ball to the penis, we should just say he took a foul ball to the penis.

Speaker 18 Saying

Speaker 29 that free kick hit him right in the cockadoodle-doo.

Speaker 38 This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Speaker 12 The new stadium is Meggy's Mega. No, it is not.

Speaker 24 It's Legacy's Messi.

Speaker 12 No, in this town, perhaps.

Speaker 12 The new stadium is Messi's legacy.

Speaker 12 But do you realize what the size of your career has to be for you to birth a stadium near the airport? That's very expensive real estate.

Speaker 12 Like you've birthed the possibility of sports getting grand in your market while you were taking the best player in the world and renting renting him to Fort Lauderdale for a couple of years while telling people, no, we got a billion-dollar business down here.

Speaker 12 Wait, watch, watch what we can make down here with the real estate. They've made it a success in Miami, and that might be his legacy in Miami.

Speaker 12 But doing what this man has done at this point in his career to grow the sport and having the business betray him behind a paywall because not everyone has known that it's happening to see the best being the best behind a paywall, but then some of your, so many of your fans getting cut out by a line of, we can't keep paying paying for this.

Speaker 12 Zaslow is out on Inner Miami early. Mike was in on Inner Miami early and slowly they greeted him out and he's still interested, but the business of it was like, this is no longer affordable to me.

Speaker 12 Miami is gouging me for Fort Lauderdale games at Miami prices.

Speaker 29 Right.

Speaker 35 No, I can't agree.

Speaker 12 But so the fandom, so look at what surrounds Messi as he does the most amazing things behind a paywall at this age.

Speaker 12 He's denied the credit of of being able to break into your American football Sunday because, hey, holy shit, Messi's over there and he's scoring the goals in a playoff game.

Speaker 12 Like, that's not a normal thing. What happened yesterday was one of the biggest international sports things that has ever happened in Miami.

Speaker 14 That's one of the greatest postseason performances in Miami's history.

Speaker 51 It's like we talk about LeBron game six.

Speaker 40 You talk about Sam Reinhart in back-to-back cup clinching games.

Speaker 36 What Messi did in the Eastern Conference semifinal is an an all-time Miami sports postseason performance.

Speaker 29 Yeah, but he has to do it two more times to get full.

Speaker 12 Okay, but hold on before you do that, because yes, okay, do it two more times, fine.

Speaker 12 It couldn't even make its way into Saints Falcons in your living room, this thing that to you, as a lifelong sports writer, when I say it's lonely, it must have felt to you that the other half of your house has no respect for South Florida history.

Speaker 29 Well, what it felt like to me is that my house at that moment was a microcosm of America, really, because I don't know.

Speaker 51 Dan's so full of shit.

Speaker 5 He was watching Tyler Chuck, too.

Speaker 18 Don't let him do this.

Speaker 43 He's trying to make this bigger than it is.

Speaker 20 I understand. Look, it's the NFL.

Speaker 48 It's Inner Miami versus Cincinnati.

Speaker 7 Dan didn't watch a second of that game.

Speaker 20 Don't let him do it.

Speaker 7 He's doing the writer thing, wanting to frame it.

Speaker 5 Put me in the Barbie room.

Speaker 46 You don't like soccer.

Speaker 48 I get it. You're not an ally.
Get out of here.

Speaker 29 But the problem is, that's indicative of America at large. The NFL is still way up here, and MLS, even with Leon Messi, Messi, is down here.
Yeah.

Speaker 23 Bigger than it used to be, but

Speaker 48 it's a shame that you have such a big game in the heart of the

Speaker 33 Eagles Cowboys.

Speaker 30 But that's the Eastern Conference semi.

Speaker 27 What a comeback.

Speaker 51 They'll play in the Eastern Conference final. Hopefully after that, they'll play in an MLS Cup.

Speaker 49 And every casual fan understands that Messi has to win the MLS trophy.

Speaker 14 So he's a couple of games away from doing that right now, and he's playing his best football on the business end of the season.

Speaker 29 Right, especially after what happened, the flame out early in the playoffs last year. But you know my wife, she loves sports.
She knows sports. She could not name who they were playing yesterday.

Speaker 29 Like she had no idea Inner Miami was in the playoffs. She had no idea where they were playing, whether it was home or away.

Speaker 29 You know, and I think

Speaker 29 that's indicative of MLS, even with Messi, imagine without him, still has to make inroads that it hasn't made yet into the American sports consciousness at large.

Speaker 12 Greg Cody has at his disposal, you know, he is against metrics. He has told you a number of different times we give you way too much information in sports.

Speaker 12 Don't tell me how many miles per hour this leaves the ballpark. Don't tell me the pace of speed that the Miami Heat are playing in or how many miles they run.

Speaker 29 Yeah, how many miles? That's my favorite. He ran 3.8 miles.

Speaker 12 Okay, but this is the highest tempo team that there is in the sport. They're going to play faster than everyone else.
And Norman Powell is putting up like Giannis Antoine.

Speaker 12 That's not Giannis Ante Tecumpo Tecumpo numbers in terms of efficiencies.

Speaker 34 MVP.

Speaker 12 Well, okay, but so you have come with a metric of your own to

Speaker 12 give the Miami Health.

Speaker 12 What is this statistic you have conjured?

Speaker 29 You know,

Speaker 29 everything has an acronym now. I'm going to be the first to admit, I want to get out front of this.
Go on. This does not

Speaker 29 flow mellifluously off the tongue. The acronym is T-Y-D-W-T-P-I-T-F-R.
And what that means is, team, you don't want to play in the first round. Okay, that's what that acronym stands for.

Speaker 29 Because here's what the Heat are. And I'm not going to be the one just

Speaker 29 to make a headline.

Speaker 7 What's the acronym again?

Speaker 29 T-Y-D-W-T-P-I-T-F-R. Team you don't want to play in the first round.

Speaker 24 I feel like I'm back in the BCS.

Speaker 29 And

Speaker 29 I'm not going to be the guy trying to make a headline by saying, you know what? Nobody's talking about it, but the Heat have a chance to win the championship. I'm not that guy.

Speaker 29 I am a guy saying they're going to finish in the top four. They're going to have home court in the first round.
And you don't want to be the team that plays that.

Speaker 12 See, when you say it with that voice, see, that's

Speaker 12 wait a minute, right?

Speaker 18 That changes things.

Speaker 47 Because when he said top four, I was like, eh, I don't know about that. But then he said the voice, and I was like, okay,

Speaker 12 say it in a more threatening way, because I do believe the heat are now that. I believe it's not too small a sample when you win at Philadelphia, when you're winning that way

Speaker 12 that way at Chicago.

Speaker 42 It's impressive.

Speaker 12 Well, but it's, I mean, mean, look, Maxie's scoring 33 a game. If we're going to speed the whole thing up, okay?

Speaker 12 If we're going to speed the whole thing up, and all of a sudden the Heat are going to have a young 20-year-old who's going to do all the rebounding in where?

Speaker 7 He was a plus 26 yesterday.

Speaker 23 He's

Speaker 42 incredible.

Speaker 12 Okay, but so if he's going to grow that fast in front of us to being a rebounding monster

Speaker 12 and on the perimeter, you have a point guard whose assist to turnover ratio is only going to get better with the speed. They're the fastest team in the sport, so they're playing the most fun.

Speaker 12 They ran, like, they ran Chicago off the court. And so what you're saying is now in play.
Like, you got to say it with that voice, though. You got to say the initials.

Speaker 12 Like, you do not want to see this team in the first round. None of you.

Speaker 12 None of you do.

Speaker 18 I don't like saying it.

Speaker 14 I want the voice. Yeah.

Speaker 29 Listen, it's T-Y-D-W-T-P-I-T-F-R.

Speaker 5 Team you don't want to play in the first round.

Speaker 29 The Miami Heat, running like jackrabbits. They're going to be a top four seed.
They're going to have home court. This team has never scored like this.

Speaker 29 During the LeBron era, they weren't putting up 140-point games like this regularly. This is an exciting team.

Speaker 29 If you grew up watching the Heat and you're still looking at those 90s games against the Knicks where two teams are playing in the mud, throwing elbows, the final score was 86 to 78, this is the opposite of that.

Speaker 29 This is the exciting Jet Age Miami Heat. It's exciting.
I give Riley and Spolster all the credit in the world for flipping the whole script on how you envision Miami Heat basketball.

Speaker 29 This has been a fantastic season.

Speaker 52 Greg's absolutely right. We're running around at the Jackrabbits pace and running around in the Jet era.

Speaker 52 You know, the Miami Heat really are one of those teams you don't want to see in the first round.

Speaker 4 He's a Beatles.

Speaker 52 Yes, I'm George Harrison. I'm from the Beatles.
And, you know, Kalo Ware dominating last night on the class.

Speaker 32 Taser him, taser him.

Speaker 29 All you need is love him, all right?

Speaker 17 Stop talking.

Speaker 51 This is going to be a long day

Speaker 23 if that's the bit.

Speaker 42 Greg is very.

Speaker 12 Greg is legitimately excited today. He's legitimately excited today because

Speaker 12 the soccer team locally is exciting, and the basketball team is clearly good. Like, that's, maybe they get hurt.

Speaker 42 I don't know.

Speaker 12 Maybe Tyler Hero throws something off, and all of a sudden people are complaining, or this is what it's going to be.

Speaker 12 They're going after the top of the conference with speed they're going to try and they're going to try and play basketball faster than you and think their bodies can hold up look at the top three of the east detroit or top four detroit toronto mix in cleveland miami

Speaker 7 detroit and toronto one and two you're not worried about heroes screwing this all up what's to screw up this is the perfect

Speaker 7 yeah this is the perfect they just said the standings this is the perfect style of play if he's bought in those as if he's bought in right if he doesn't want to to be the ball dominant

Speaker 50 because he thinks he's the guy walking in being like i'm the all-star on this team i'm the guy that is the engine of this offense and now he's got to mix in with norm powell who's probably the best heat player we've ever seen through the first 14 games i agree with that take norm powell he's the greatest heat player we've ever seen for the first 15 games you missed for the first 15 games yes so there are only two players in the sport scoring more than 24 and shooting more than 46% from two and three.

Speaker 12 It's this guy and Giannis. Giannis does it on 18 threes.
He's made half of them. He can't keep it up.

Speaker 12 This dude's shooting better than Duncan Robinson and he'll eat you up inside and out.

Speaker 18 Oh, he's all right.

Speaker 28 Why am I worried about Tyler Hero screwing it up?

Speaker 30 Because over the last couple years, I know he had a decent bubble, but Miami's gone on runs without Tyler Hero.

Speaker 18 Okay, but you're

Speaker 28 it seems as though Miami plays better without Tyler Hero.

Speaker 7 Okay, that's not the way you prefaced it, though.

Speaker 7 You prefaced it with the whole, you know, he's, I'm the all-star, this is my team, as if he's not team first guy when his entire tenure with the Miami Heat has shown you he has absolutely been team first guy.

Speaker 40 My, I guess my mistake there is I thought that that was implied.

Speaker 51 Hanging over this whole Tyler Hero thing is the Heat seemed to play better without him over the last couple of days.

Speaker 12 Tonight is the third game in four days, and he's going to come back against a Dallas team that is in disarray, is broken, and this has the potential, this has the potential to start one of those dumb conversations around a team.

Speaker 12 Is the team better without its all-star?

Speaker 12 But the thing about the Heat is they're top five defensively when Bam plays. They will not be that with Tyler Hero.
What they did, they choked out Bulls.

Speaker 12 They said, Bulls, you want to play at that pace?

Speaker 23 Okay, we'll score the 140.

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Speaker 22 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 29 What do I got here? I got a magnum condom.

Speaker 29 We won't get that out.

Speaker 17 That's shocking.

Speaker 29 Stugats. Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

Speaker 23 Right next to the condom.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 22 Get a reminder.

Speaker 22 Never forget it.

Speaker 38 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 7 The part that's most confusing to me is what their starting group is going to wind up looking like. Because I like, I don't know how Eric Spolscher is going to handle that.

Speaker 7 I can only see it being that Davion Mitchell is going to move to the bench, which it's like, man, he's really good for them on the ball, and he never turns the ball over.

Speaker 12 His assist to turnover rate is great.

Speaker 7 It's the best in the league.

Speaker 12 They're playing at a pace that doesn't make sense. Like, you can't bench that dude.

Speaker 7 They're going to. Like, it's the only guy you could take out of the lineup for here.
You can't take Wiggins out because, like, you can't have a three.

Speaker 47 You need size.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you can't have

Speaker 7 Mitchell, Powell, and Hero. Okay, you're starting to.

Speaker 27 You're highlighting real concerns with this Hero thing.

Speaker 7 Well, I'm highlighting concerns as far as what the group is going to be out there together.

Speaker 50 I think the other thing, too, is this offense is so fast-paced that you need to be able to have the minutes spread out.

Speaker 50 So maybe a guy isn't playing 40 minutes a game, but you've got a couple guys playing 30, a couple of guys playing 20 something. Like, I think that's where that rotation is going to be.

Speaker 12 But guys, if you consider the science of this, like the science of it, on what the heat endured in an offseason, where get the guy, get the guy, get Durant, get the guy.

Speaker 12 If what you're trying to do is that you've already figured out in the science of this, oh, this speed is busting everybody in this sport, every physical body in the sport, except OKC, because they're really young, but that might happen to homegrown.

Speaker 12 It seems like a lot to put on the joints and the ligaments and stuff. They'll go 10 deep.
Bam was out and they survived it.

Speaker 12 Hero was out and they've survived it because they can go 10 deep at this pace. Like, it's not, and it's not six or seven players anymore.
It's like, you want to play 10?

Speaker 12 All right, here are our 10, and we've got some young ones now.

Speaker 12 Like, that's that's the future of the sport stuff, how you compete at the top of the Eastern Conference as the Knicks break because Brunson breaks down. You wait for the Pistons.
Is Cade Cunningham?

Speaker 23 Is he going to hold up under all of that?

Speaker 12 They're good.

Speaker 1 They're clearly good.

Speaker 18 Very good.

Speaker 12 Giannis is out again because

Speaker 12 is his body going to hold up?

Speaker 12 Like, that's interesting to go into the playoffs in a new NBA where everyone's hurt and say, our science will be better than yours. We'll go 11 deep.

Speaker 29 Well, the depth is crazy. If you look at the box score now, just about every game, they have eight or nine players playing 20 minutes, 25 minutes.

Speaker 29 And that's what you want to trust Eric Spolster with, right?

Speaker 29 That kind of depth spread out to increase that kind of pace of play, to maintain that kind of pace of play, play, is exactly the formula.

Speaker 29 And I don't know about 10 or 11, but they, when Hero comes back, they absolutely have nine players that they want to give minutes to. And that's a luxury.

Speaker 34 You can't,

Speaker 12 and in today's NBA, if I don't make it about the uniforms or the names or the all-stars or the credentials, in today's NBA,

Speaker 12 Saz, if I tell you you're playing at the fastest rate of speed in the league and your point guard has the best assist-turnover ratio.

Speaker 12 He doesn't turn the ball over, and he's a great defender on the perimeter. You don't want to bench that.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and overall, they're one of the best teams in the league. I mean, they're top four defensive rating.

Speaker 52 Well, and if we're trying to figure out the starting lineup, Greg's absolutely right. The team's really deep.

Speaker 52 We could move Pele Lawson to the bench, although he's been a great connector like Ringo Starr was for us with the Beatles.

Speaker 22 All right, warming up to it.

Speaker 27 As long as it's that efficient.

Speaker 20 You think he's right, Greg, or what?

Speaker 32 Yeah, I do.

Speaker 29 I think Ringo was the unspoken Beatle, the one everybody ignored.

Speaker 12 About the basketball point.

Speaker 37 I'm George.

Speaker 29 Yeah, he's George. Yeah, no, no, I wanted to

Speaker 29 substantiate what George was saying about Ringo's place in the Beatles. But Pell Larson, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 29 I don't think he's more than sixth or seventh on the depth chart under any math.

Speaker 7 Do you believe that story they told last night on the broadcast about Pell Larson and Dan Marley? I don't watch the broadcast. Was I the only one who thought that that was a little

Speaker 7 too coincidental?

Speaker 49 For those that didn't watch, why don't you let them know what happened?

Speaker 7 So Pella Larson's father, apparently, his favorite player, was Dan Marley

Speaker 4 for all those years.

Speaker 7 Well, no, that's not necessarily hard to believe. But then Pella Larson gets to the NBA, gets the heat,

Speaker 7 and the father and Pell Larson realize, wow, you're wearing number nine. That was also Dan Marley's number.
And it's like this big coincidence.

Speaker 23 I don't know. I found it a little hard to believe.

Speaker 12 So, wait, are you calling the heat fishy? You're calling them a propaganda program? You're calling Jason Jackson and his friend somebody that makes up stuff in order to get ratings?

Speaker 4 A little coincidental.

Speaker 12 What are you saying there? Are you saying they're putting this?

Speaker 12 What is the accusation you're making?

Speaker 12 You're a journalist now. Hold on a second.
Let me see here. If you're going to do this, do it correctly.
You're a journalist now. Like,

Speaker 38 time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless reckless speculation.

Speaker 4 I'm good.

Speaker 7 I'm just saying it's a great story.

Speaker 37 All right.

Speaker 7 I mean, if Pell Larson's father's favorite player is Dan Marley, A, he doesn't know his favorite player's number, and B, it's a huge coincidence that he then realizes, oh, wow, my son is wearing the same number as my favorite player.

Speaker 12 You're saying it's a made-up story.

Speaker 12 You're accusing the heat of propaganda of fake news.

Speaker 7 And by the way, and by the way, my son plays a lot similar to my favorite player.

Speaker 12 So that's what you're doing.

Speaker 29 My favorite part of that whole story is you saying that they're telling that story to boost ratings, as if the ratings are skyrocketing by a Pella Larson Dan Marley anecdote.

Speaker 12 Well, if it's a lie, if it's a fabrication, if it's being accused by Zasda of being a little too conveniently served. It's a good story.
Like, come on.

Speaker 12 No, he's saying it's a good story, but he's accusing them of not being true.

Speaker 1 Like, being

Speaker 12 clear about what you're saying, Zasda.

Speaker 12 Make it with your chest if you're going to make that accusation.

Speaker 7 That guy wears number 23. My favorite player was Michael Jordan.
Can you believe my son wears the same number?

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 22 It's a good story.

Speaker 12 The University of Miami this weekend

Speaker 12 buzz saw it on the road. Virginia Tech won easily 34-17.

Speaker 12 And it's just total chaos in college football. You can't tell who's good.
Ohio State hasn't played anybody. You saw what happened to Texas A ⁇ M.

Speaker 12 We all think Indiana's good, but but anybody can win and Miami's got a team that can play with anybody. Everybody can see that much.

Speaker 12 And so the question of whether or not they will be denied the playoffs, because some things had to happen this week and did happen for them. And

Speaker 12 they're in a good position if they beat Pittsburgh.

Speaker 40 I mean, had to happen to them for them in the ACC, but the top 10 in the AP had its most dominant week in several years.

Speaker 41 Utah even survived, though I think enough happened this weekend for Miami to leap over Utah because Utah's resume compared to Miami is so flimsy.

Speaker 14 It looks like SMU should enter the rankings again, and Pitts should probably re-enter the rankings as well.

Speaker 39 That gives Miami an opportunity to play a ranked team.

Speaker 48 But if you watch the broadcast, and I know a lot of people had a problem with it, it wasn't a compelling Saturday.

Speaker 33 Miami,

Speaker 40 the framing of this narrative, I saw it on ESBN.

Speaker 16 Miami survives a scare.

Speaker 25 That game was never in doubt.

Speaker 49 They never dipped below 92% win probability in the entire game.

Speaker 48 A bunch of funny things happened in that game.

Speaker 49 Bad replays, bad first down calls, improbable plays being made by Virginia Tech that prevented that game from.

Speaker 5 Was there cheating?

Speaker 33 Oh, it was the ACC refs. You know, there was cheating.
But it was pretty bad both ways.

Speaker 41 That was a really bad crew.

Speaker 48 But Miami probably had the most compelling game in that window, and it fed this narrative.

Speaker 18 Bob Washusin, who's been called Chuckle Fuck on social media.

Speaker 12 Oh no, they're hit Bob with the Chuckle Fuck.

Speaker 26 Yeah, no.

Speaker 12 Bob's a South Florida ledge.

Speaker 41 They called Bob Washusin Chucklefuck.

Speaker 48 He and Lou Riddick just kept, it was a horrible way to watch a game because the entire time is at any point in my lifetime, Miami performing that well in Blacksburg is a hell of a performance.

Speaker 48 But this thing was framed from the jump that Miami has to win this game by 40.

Speaker 33 And then Lou Riddick after the game's like, head to head is all that matters.

Speaker 46 Well, it would have been nice to hear that on the broadcast.

Speaker 30 It would have been nice to frame that narrative during the broadcast, but instead, I'm out here feeling like a failure because Miami isn't winning this game by 50 points. It's bullshit.

Speaker 39 And the fact that Miami is directly compared to Notre Dame

Speaker 47 outside of all the other teams is bullshit if you're not going to take what happened on the field as a primary metric.

Speaker 25 We are losing, we are losing touch with our great traditional American football values here.

Speaker 5 What happens on the field matters.

Speaker 48 They don't just pass the eye test as Miami is playing their most dominant football with the hottest quarterback in the nation in November.

Speaker 33 They pass the field test, Greg Cody.

Speaker 29 And Mario Crispal said exactly that in his post-game. He tried to couch it a little bit, but he basically said, everybody talks about the I test.
What about the field test?

Speaker 29 And he didn't bring up the head-to-head win over Notre Dame, but it's out there for everybody to see, except apparently the college football playoff voters.

Speaker 27 Guys, this is a culture war.

Speaker 48 What is happening right now with the computers having so much say and all these acronyms and having a group of five team inexplicably join this playoff. Let me tell you something.

Speaker 39 Group of five, it's DEI.

Speaker 44 It's DEI.

Speaker 37 Let's call it for what it is.

Speaker 20 Call it for what it is.

Speaker 1 This is absolutely a culture war happening right now.

Speaker 5 When computers are trying to tell you that Notre Dame is better, who is Notre Dame beaten?

Speaker 1 You can't beat it.

Speaker 44 No, Notre Dame's best win is against a stinky USC team. That's Notre Dame's best win.

Speaker 48 Wow, they look so dominant since they lost to Texas A ⁇ M.

Speaker 5 They're playing garbage.

Speaker 12 70-7 against Syracuse.

Speaker 42 They're playing garbage.

Speaker 24 I will say, though, I tuned into that Miami game late in the fourth quarter. Only up 10.
I did say to myself, I'm like, ooh, you didn't have to say to yourself.

Speaker 4 Just for the optics.

Speaker 7 Chucklefuck was telling you what to think.

Speaker 3 Just for the optics, I was like, oh, I feel like they needed to

Speaker 18 be like, which is bullshit.

Speaker 27 They beat Notre Dame.

Speaker 44 Stop with the computers.

Speaker 5 The computers only matter.

Speaker 1 This is, guys, this is an assault on the fiber of America.

Speaker 39 This is not good.

Speaker 1 Are you seeing this?

Speaker 44 You should be scared. And your children should be scared too.

Speaker 43 Minor penalty. Two minutes.

Speaker 21 Personal foul personal and foul

Speaker 12 Mike Virginia Tech was able to run the ball against Miami and big time almost 200 yards and and that don't do the thing where you kick me out and I can't defend this you're part of the enemy you're out

Speaker 12 you're out you're you have to leave the room and you have to go away for a minute and gather yourself because

Speaker 47 my guy was spitting.

Speaker 12 I want to talk about the actual game, whether Pringle is better for what they do than Fletcher.

Speaker 24 Can we whisper while Mike's out of the room for a second?

Speaker 57 The way he's acting about all this is kind of making me want Miami to bubble. Wow.
I kind of want them to come in 13th. And they're headed there.

Speaker 54 Just to see Mike lose his mind.

Speaker 7 Do you want them to be first team out?

Speaker 44 Monitor is out there, pal.

Speaker 42 They are headed there.

Speaker 7 Pick a side.

Speaker 12 No, stay strong, guys.

Speaker 3 I think it's best for content if we just bubble, if they become the face of the bubble.

Speaker 20 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 We can't.

Speaker 44 We're three weeks into this.

Speaker 30 Miami is doing their part.

Speaker 7 They needed to see more consistency. You can't get more consistent than this.

Speaker 20 Guys, this is bad.

Speaker 39 You should be scared.

Speaker 12 They didn't cover only up 10.

Speaker 17 They didn't be in the country.

Speaker 53 Bad Virginia Tech Team.

Speaker 24 Bad Virginia Tech Team.

Speaker 18 We covered the initial line.

Speaker 12 When you're favored by 17 and a half, you can't win by 17, Mike.

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