Hour 1: Perhaps The Middle (feat. Jessica Smetana)

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Speaker 6 hey chris here black friday game day is coming to prime and it'll be an epic day of live sports Black Friday football is at the center of it with the Chicago Bears taking on the Philadelphia Eagles at 3 p.m.

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Speaker 15 This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stoogats Podcast.

Speaker 15 So, somebody named Anthony Black for the Orlando Magic last night scored 27 points in 17 minutes as part of an 84-point

Speaker 15 first half for the Orlando Magic on the road at Philadelphia. It was such a pathetic performance.
27 points in 17 minutes.

Speaker 6 Midway through the third quarter, it was like 111 to 70 or something.

Speaker 15 Luca went crazy last night. The Lakers are good.

Speaker 15 Luca is fun to watch. And Andre Drummond squared up legitimately on somebody at seven feet.

Speaker 16 Wendell Carter.

Speaker 15 Yeah, but squared up, like wanted, did old-timey. You know, I can't because I got my hand in the dirt.
He did bare knuckle fighting old-timey. I think like he was legitimately ready to fight.

Speaker 15 And Andre Drummond as a seven-footer, that would be a seven-footer great at offensive rebounding is just generally someone I don't want to fight. Would you say?

Speaker 15 that as a as a characteristic, if I say someone is seven feet tall and they're good at offensive rebounding, that's not someone someone you want

Speaker 17 to ever fight Wendell Carter wasn't scared

Speaker 17 he didn't even back up Wendell Caro is like what do you do?

Speaker 7 Is that the NBA stat you'd associate with is offensive rebounding and fighting?

Speaker 19 Is there another stat?

Speaker 20 He could be 5'5 with that shoulder hair.

Speaker 21 It's a lot of shoulder hair.

Speaker 9 I would argue

Speaker 19 fouls per game.

Speaker 7 If you have like a lot of fouls per game, you're someone I don't want to fight.

Speaker 6 No, but Dance, to Dan's point, offensive rebound, you got to throw a chicken wing at somebody.

Speaker 22 You got to throw an elbow.

Speaker 18 You got to throw a knee low.

Speaker 7 If you leave the league in fouls, though, I don't want to fight you.

Speaker 20 Although, bringing down offensive boards is easier because people are trying to avoid that shoulder hair. It's disgusting.

Speaker 15 Not everyone is mailing it in this week, okay? Because Jessica is bringing her A game here. Amin embarrassed himself yesterday with those weekend observations.

Speaker 15 Jessica's covering for him by doing not just an internet minute today, but an F1 minute. But I need your help here, Jessica, because I don't want you to blow a gasket, a tire, or anything.

Speaker 15 If we do F1, should we do that at the end or the beginning?

Speaker 15 Because there's a degree of difficulty on that lift that it may make either the rest of the segment harder or might be harder to do at the end of the segment.

Speaker 14 Perhaps the middle.

Speaker 15 Okay, so we will start with LSU and the laugh out loud that's happening around what could be Mississippi State winning at home in the Egg Bowl on Friday. And people are writing, Lane better win.

Speaker 15 And I'm looking at it like, what does this affect Lane at all? Lane could not show up.

Speaker 15 Lane could not show up for the game, and he doesn't need to win because his next job is going to be a great one, even though he's 13 and 25 against ranked teams.

Speaker 14 Did you see the message board geniuses post, Dan, that was allegedly a hint about his next stop from one of Knox Kiffen's friends via Fortnite?

Speaker 15 Is that credible? Because I'd be willing.

Speaker 21 That's credible to me.

Speaker 16 I believe it will

Speaker 15 be willing to believe something on Fortnite that Lane Kiffen's kids would break this story before an insider. I'd believe that.

Speaker 14 So this is shout out to message board geniuses who comb through all the message boards and post the funniest and most unhinged things every every day um but this is from the florida 247 message board and it's a message it's a screenshot from a discord channel um from someone named shay and it says my source is knox kiffin we played fortnight yesterday online and he told me his dad is going to lsu don't send this to chat please yeah see that's the part that gets me that's why i think it's real because it wasn't real they wouldn't put don't send this to the chat It would be like you want it everywhere.

Speaker 17 So that makes me believe it's real.

Speaker 15 Are you guys saying Zazzlo already reported this?

Speaker 15 Who else is you reported it first?

Speaker 15 Who's going to get credit for breaking the story when it's when it's him obviously to LSU?

Speaker 14 Can I just say, I don't even care, man. Like there's been too much Lane Kiffen content the last few weeks.
Let's just ride it out and see what happens. I can't speculate any further.

Speaker 17 I mean, I'm in Norman this weekend for LSU, Oklahoma. Egg Bull is the night before.

Speaker 17 I'm hoping Lane Kippen sidelines for LSU this weekend. I'm almost like WWE style, where he just shows up, oh my God, that's Lane Kippens' music.

Speaker 14 That would be great, honestly. I'm so excited.
This weekend is going to be so great, Dan. There's so many great rivalry games this weekend.

Speaker 14 If I had to make a top five, I don't even know if I could.

Speaker 10 Top five?

Speaker 15 Mike Ryan is whispering as you're talking in my ear about how Lane's camp has gone silent. Because

Speaker 20 I've been on this beat. A decision was made on Friday, and I know that Ole Miss and Florida are doing their best to do what LSU did to hijack this whole thing, but not a peep since Friday.

Speaker 14 He hasn't posted any Tumblr quotes either, right? I haven't seen any.

Speaker 20 No, but have you seen his press conferences? Dude's dealing with this about as well as anybody could.

Speaker 15 Who is reporting that he'll stay at Ole Miss? Who's reporting that he might go to Florida?

Speaker 18 No one's reporting that Ole Miss.

Speaker 26 No, Brett McMurphy, like they put, he put out his own graphic, and Brett is really dialed on this stuff.

Speaker 20 And he predicted Ole Miss is where he'll stay.

Speaker 26 Now, there's a lot of people that are really plugged in.

Speaker 20 Kirk Herbstreet probably knows more about the sport and like the inner workings of it than anybody, but he just doesn't come out and report that stuff.

Speaker 20 He put LSU, from what I was hearing last week before everyone buttoned it up tight, I'm pretty sure LSU hijacked this thing.

Speaker 20 The statement from the AD over at Ole Miss made it seem like he's for sure leaving, but this is airtight over the last week.

Speaker 26 Kudos to them.

Speaker 15 Let's get to her top five. There are five games this weekend, five rivalry weekend games worthy of our attention.

Speaker 14 No, there's like 25 to 30, I would say, but I'm not putting just the ones with playoff implications in my list.

Speaker 8 For example, number one isn't Miami Pitt.

Speaker 14 No, I'm actually excited to watch that. Like, look, I thought Pitt was better defensively than I expected.

Speaker 14 I'm not surprised that they crushed Georgia Tech last week because Georgia Tech's defense has been a problem all year. Like we talked about a few weeks ago with Cash Patel.

Speaker 14 I still don't know why he was on the show, but

Speaker 14 I'm curious about, especially because, like, Mike, as you know, Miami hasn't played a lot of true road games this year, and it's going to be really freaking cold in Pittsburgh on Saturday for the noon kickoff.

Speaker 14 It's going to be like 30 days.

Speaker 15 Oh, that's the part she's liking. As a Pittsburgh person, she's like, oh,

Speaker 15 when the warm weather people come, they don't like it so much.

Speaker 23 I'm going to Pittsburgh. I'm going to Pittsburgh.

Speaker 16 Oh, my God.

Speaker 10 This is the first time in my life.

Speaker 20 I've never been to that crap town.

Speaker 14 Well, text me if you need any recommendations. I had the best flats of my life at William Penn Tavern last weekend.
I ate probably 40 of them. They were so good.

Speaker 8 Those bridges are a delight. That sounds underrated.

Speaker 23 No, Mike was a three rivers, man.

Speaker 25 Mike, it's pretty.

Speaker 15 You're wrong when you say that's a crap talk.

Speaker 20 That's just an old Brown.

Speaker 16 That is

Speaker 14 AFC North crap talk, Dan. You wouldn't get it.
Yeah.

Speaker 20 You know, I don't like the Browns anymore, but I still hate the Steelers and Ravens.

Speaker 26 I can't shake too much.

Speaker 15 Do you have OLI or is it just five? You're saying there are 30 games.

Speaker 15 There are not five worth watching this weekend. Five? That's, I mean,

Speaker 14 swap out, child.

Speaker 29 Learn ball.

Speaker 14 Quiet piggy. Okay.

Speaker 14 Let's start with OLIs.

Speaker 14 I'll give you three OLIs. The Oregon State-Washington State rematch.

Speaker 8 Come on.

Speaker 15 That doesn't count. That doesn't count.

Speaker 17 Yeah, Keynes fans are watching that game. Keynes fans need a big, big W by the home team.

Speaker 14 Western Kentucky, Jacksonville State has a de facto confidence playing game.

Speaker 14 Clemson, South Carolina, both teams that stinked this year but ate each other so that's always fun when there's like nothing on the line except pride look you you need to be diagnosed with a malady you come on you know come on come on what malady actually i'm getting over a cold right now i don't know if i'm sad i know what that is

Speaker 15 you someone this is sickness what you just said there yes that's all right five

Speaker 14 uh wait can i give you two more olis boston college syracuse dan okay sneaky rivalry they played each other a lot of times like 70 times and there is a a doomsday ACC tiebreaker scenario where this game matters to the winning percentage of conference opponents, I believe.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 26 take that with a great approach.

Speaker 3 Me watch that.

Speaker 20 For those that don't know, this is the second time Washington State and Oregon State are playing this season.

Speaker 10 There's a team going for a sweep.

Speaker 20 Wait, what? Yes, that's what's that's why

Speaker 14 it's an OLI.

Speaker 14 It's the Pac-12 Championship, I guess.

Speaker 25 I mean,

Speaker 14 Paul Bunyan's axe is this weekend, Dan. Kentucky, Louisville, two more teams that stink, that are playing against each other.
Okay, I'll just give you a little bit of a test.

Speaker 3 Did you say Louisville stinks?

Speaker 15 Louisville does not stink.

Speaker 25 They don't stink.

Speaker 3 They only have four losses.

Speaker 30 I mean, contextualize it.

Speaker 20 They've lost both Browns. They lost Miller Moss.
Like, they're a shell of what they lost.

Speaker 14 Yeah,

Speaker 14 they're pretty hurt coming into this game.

Speaker 14 So I'm going to go to the next one.

Speaker 20 I appreciate Jess following the sport, unlike Jeremy.

Speaker 14 Yeah, they have a lot of injuries. I'll give you a top five.
These are all going to be lame, like, oh,

Speaker 24 if the team that is favored wins, there's a big playoff.

Speaker 10 But the OLIs are better in this list?

Speaker 14 Yeah, because I like watching just the nastiest shit you've ever seen.

Speaker 15 You've got a malady. That's what I'd call the malady.
Watching.

Speaker 9 It's your list, so why wouldn't you have put the other ones in OLI?

Speaker 8 Number five.

Speaker 23 Number five.

Speaker 3 Let our guests speak.

Speaker 14 Because it's for the audience, too, Chris.

Speaker 14 Okay, I'm not going to go into details about Western Kentucky and Maverick McIver getting hurt earlier this season to give you a reason to turn on ESPN Plus to watch them play Jacksonville State.

Speaker 14 But I will give you number five the iron bowl

Speaker 20 i don't know what this sound is this is a foghorn foghorn fanfare uh i can't hear it this game is huge auburn's kept big spreads tight in the in the iron bowl the last few weeks uh last few seasons and this is the smallest this spread has been and you got a head coach that still thinks he's got an outside shot at getting the job he's doing funky things with the quarterback over there this one's tight five and a half point spread spread.

Speaker 20 Huge CFP impact.

Speaker 15 Mike, excellent work by you in the gap there, where Chris Cody, who's mailing it in this weekend, has forgotten that Jessica needs the fanfare in order to know that she's nailed the joke.

Speaker 15 She's waiting for the fanfare. Without the fanfare,

Speaker 15 she is doing the same comedy that Rich Davis is doing with Sock Puppet

Speaker 15 on ESPN.

Speaker 20 I was taking today seriously at work, but it seems as though the whole narrative around it being an official farting turkey.

Speaker 16 Number four.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 14 Number four, we'll go with the Texas AM Texas.

Speaker 14 Winning in for Texas AM in the SEC Championship game. Same goes for Alabama in the Iron Bowl.
There's a lot of Rode favorites this week, I will add. That's something maybe to keep an eye on.

Speaker 14 But look, I think Texas is not a bad football team. They've played in some terrible games.
I think the Kentucky point was the low point of the season, and since then, they've gotten steadily better.

Speaker 14 But Texas AM, aside from the first half against South Carolina, has just been really solid this year.

Speaker 14 I believe the point spread right now is Texas AM is like a two and a half point favorite on the road at Texas, but would be a huge bummer for Texas A ⁇ M to stumble right before conference championship weekend against Texas, who they, of course, played for a very long time before they joined the SEC and then didn't play for like 14 years and now play again.

Speaker 20 Texas AM has kind of had an interesting schedule inside of the SEC. There's a lot of ranked teams in that conference, but Mizzou is like the toughest test Texas A ⁇ M has faced.

Speaker 20 They've kind of avoided the team.

Speaker 15 It would not be surprising to anybody if Texas beats Texas A ⁇ M based only on the fact that before this season started, if I said to anybody listening, hey, who do you think has the better athletes?

Speaker 15 Your answer would be Texas.

Speaker 14 I mean, I don't agree. I think, honestly, KC Concepcion and Mario Craver in the portal are probably the two best portal additions that any team made on offense.

Speaker 14 They both are top five in the SEC in receiving yards this year, and they're on the same team. Cassius Howell, I saw, got named to an awards list yesterday.
He leads the SEC in sacks.

Speaker 14 He's got 11 and a half sacks.

Speaker 14 Texas's star defensive player has 10 sacks, so he's right behind him. But I think Texas AM is good.
And Mike, you can only play the teams on your schedule. As you know, the conferences are too big.

Speaker 14 So we'll just obligatory conferences are too big, right?

Speaker 15 Number three.

Speaker 14 Number three, we'll go with a sneaky, sneaky good one, Oregon, Washington. I don't feel like

Speaker 14 enough people are talking about the fact that this game could ruin Oregon's playoff hopes. They're a six and a half point favorite.
I believe it is on the road, 3.30 on CBS Saturday.

Speaker 14 These teams have played each other over 100 times. They are our rivals, of course.

Speaker 14 But Washington has lost a couple of brutal games, like games that just make you lose your faith in humanity.

Speaker 14 However, based on like the advanced analytics, they're only like 17th in FEI, which is pretty good.

Speaker 14 So, Oregon, not a huge favorite in this game, and like I said, could completely upend the Big Ten postseason for them if they do lose.

Speaker 14 So, that's going to be a very interesting one for Oregon, especially coming off of like an emotional win against USC last weekend, which, by the way, I hope we have time to talk about USC's game notes that were going viral from that game.

Speaker 18 It's a malady.

Speaker 15 I can't talk about all the things that she wants to talk about. Number two.

Speaker 14 Vanderbilt, Tennessee. Oh, there they are.
Dan.

Speaker 16 Number one.

Speaker 14 Dan, when you were covering Miami, I'm sure you had to read game notes all the time.

Speaker 24 I don't know if anyone, Jeremy's probably,

Speaker 15 game notes. A lot of them.

Speaker 14 You probably read them when they were like on typewriters. But anyways, if you want to get a kick out of something, these are like

Speaker 24 unnecessary shots.

Speaker 15 They were not on top right.

Speaker 16 I think they were factory hands.

Speaker 25 I think they were facts.

Speaker 8 Microfiche.

Speaker 14 If you scroll down, it's like what you would say if you were like a message board poster about what USC needs to do to win this game, instead of just being like, here's the head-to-head results against Oregon.

Speaker 14 It's just like, they said we weren't gritty enough. They said we weren't tough enough.
They said we couldn't compete with real Big Ten football. Did they see the final score?

Speaker 14 And then it's like, beating Iowa was a cultured one. It's like, I've never seen this in game notes before, so it's been very funny.

Speaker 26 Everything they said was absolutely right.

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Speaker 15 Are you ready to do your F1 minute before number one?

Speaker 15 This is the middle spot.

Speaker 14 Fine.

Speaker 14 Let's do it.

Speaker 20 I'm not phoning it in this week.

Speaker 14 The race started at 11 p.m. Eastern, so I went to bed, but both McLaren's got disqualified.

Speaker 15 That's it.

Speaker 15 So that's not you phoning it in. That's you mailing it in.
And that is just as bad as what a mean.

Speaker 20 Faxing it in.

Speaker 15 What a mean did, yeah, micro-feising it in.

Speaker 19 The internet minute's got to be better than

Speaker 16 what is number one.

Speaker 15 Not ready for the internet minute yet. She still wants to talk college football.

Speaker 15 She's not even a little bit.

Speaker 14 You don't let me.

Speaker 23 Number one.

Speaker 14 The egg bowl. It's always stupid.
Something stupid's going to happen, but

Speaker 41 I mean, no Michigan, Ohio State, no Miami, Pittsburgh. How list is this?

Speaker 14 Okay, but OLI, the game. I think it would be shocking to me if Michigan lost, but not that shocking.

Speaker 24 If Michigan won?

Speaker 14 If Michigan won, I mean, because as we know, like, this is just Ryan.

Speaker 41 You did more shock last year.

Speaker 15 Jeremy has got. Jeremy's the only person I hear predicting, no, it's going to happen to Ohio State.

Speaker 28 Michigan's going to win.

Speaker 15 No matter how ridiculous you think that is.

Speaker 15 Look,

Speaker 15 we can agree that it's total chaos if that happens.

Speaker 18 If Miami UM will get in

Speaker 15 Mississippi, if Mississippi State beats Mississippi.

Speaker 20 Enough, Jeremy.

Speaker 20 Yes, it would be really bad for Miami.

Speaker 3 Time to get in it.

Speaker 21 Jessica's internet minute.

Speaker 14 People are saying 6'7 now. I don't know.

Speaker 15 That is not fair what you guys have done to me.

Speaker 15 You mail it in in a way that is honestly.

Speaker 24 Is that pre-planned?

Speaker 15 It's disrespectful. You tell us, what are your thoughts on everything that happened there, including that wet sock calling Reese Davis rich at the end of it?

Speaker 14 Why are you calling him a wet sock?

Speaker 16 Because that guy sucks. Six, seven.

Speaker 15 As a spokesman, look, man, Kim, if you're going to make it a made-for-television absurdity where the judges are on TV announcing why they're making their picks, like, have the people be entertaining, talented at television.

Speaker 23 Six, seven.

Speaker 10 I took a stab at entertainment.

Speaker 15 seven like have the people be something that represents college football better than this guy in a sports coat

Speaker 14 i think he was absolutely spot on in all of his analysis on tuesday night so i think he did a great job i think this joke was hilariously delivered and i got a kick out of it six and dan we're talking about it now the entertainment television program guess what talk of the town wednesday morning six seven let's wish uh jessica thanksgiving here by emptying the file of thanksgiving sounds here so that she can enjoy her holidays, however it is that she chooses to spend them.

Speaker 15 What do you have for us in the way of emptying the Thanksgiving file here and wishing the audience a happy Thanksgiving?

Speaker 11 I have Zion Williamson being asked his favorite side dish.

Speaker 14 Happy Thanksgiving. You get to come home tonight and then leave tomorrow evening.
Give us a little glimpse into what Zion Williamson's Thanksgiving looks like.

Speaker 40 Just spending some time with my mom, stepdad, my friends, little brother, older brother, and getting on the plane to go on to Memphis.

Speaker 14 What's your favorite dish? What you looking forward to eating the most?

Speaker 40 He's trying to set me up. No matter what answer I give, social media is gonna clown me.

Speaker 21 So, no comment.

Speaker 14 I'm sorry, you know what?

Speaker 21 It took us all along. It makes me sad.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it is sad.

Speaker 15 It's our fault. It's a poor choice by you, Dan.

Speaker 14 Speaking of Memphis, Navy Memphis on Thanksgiving, another one, American Conference Implications of Navy wins that game, although they would need some help to get into the conference championship game.

Speaker 14 Dan, I heard a wonderful, beautiful clip of Maxion head coach legend Eddie George talking about his turkey. It was, I would say, quite sensual.
If you want to listen to that next.

Speaker 42 I deep fry my turkeys.

Speaker 42 It's done with the same oil over the last five years. So it's full of seasoning.
It has the perfect seasoning, perfect everything with it.

Speaker 42 And it's a 72-hour process, okay, where it goes into a brine that's homemade, then it sits in that brine for about

Speaker 42 two days and then I take him out, then I inject him, you know, with a homemade injectable marinade.

Speaker 42 And then it sits for another 24 hours, wrapped in the refrigerator. And all the

Speaker 42 marinade is getting into the joints, the juices, and it's really getting into

Speaker 42 the breast and the thigh and so forth. And then I take it out that morning on Thanksgiving and I dip it in the hot oil.

Speaker 42 And then it's delicious and it's going just like that.

Speaker 42 I mean, I can cut it with a plastic butter knife. It's so tender.

Speaker 23 Mama.

Speaker 15 Did you say that to everyone or just in your ear? Okay, thank you, Chris.

Speaker 29 I appreciate that clip.

Speaker 15 He said, I'm hard, is what he said in my ear. And I thought he said that on air.
None of it is helpful to me.

Speaker 23 And as this is happening, it did sound pretty good.

Speaker 16 That's part where he said, I mean, I almost forgot.

Speaker 14 Can you isolate fresh inside?

Speaker 3 That was pretty good.

Speaker 20 That was so good that I almost forgot how terrified that guy was.

Speaker 8 I want to put music under it, like central music under it.

Speaker 15 Let's do that before the end of the segment. Find some.

Speaker 14 He kind of like smacks his lips at one point, too.

Speaker 15 Yeah, well, he made all our mouths water, but also during that, Mike Ryan accused Eddie George, and Mike Ryan's the leading authority throughout the country reporting on these things of dying his goatee.

Speaker 15 He did.

Speaker 20 You can see it on the face.

Speaker 15 Yeah, you see? Like, so does that, does he?

Speaker 14 He's a nasty man.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he loses points with his sensuality. Less credible if he's dying his goatee, correct? Less authentic?

Speaker 20 I mean, the goatee looks good.

Speaker 13 You know, it's okay.

Speaker 20 There's certain people that make it work, and he's making it work right now, and he can talk to me about turkey any day of the week.

Speaker 15 Before you go, I would have assumed that your internet minute would have been

Speaker 15 on either the Campbell Soup CEO or the Sham Wow guy. I would have thought that those would have qualified for internet minutes.

Speaker 14 Apparently, the Sham Wow guy is running for Congress in Texas to end locism.

Speaker 34 He's got my vote. God,

Speaker 3 have you seen that?

Speaker 14 Macbro is sleeping. Holy shit, was that a delayed reaction?

Speaker 29 I thought you had more on it.

Speaker 20 I was going to lay out for you.

Speaker 16 I didn't know if you had more on it.

Speaker 24 I've seen this. The ShamWo guy.

Speaker 29 Patriot.

Speaker 11 Just like us.

Speaker 15 See you later, Jessica. Happy Thanksgiving.
Good seeing you. Check out her weekly Notre Dame podcast, The Echoes, with Mike Golick Jr.
This is not, not, not an echo chain.

Speaker 16 Echo chain over chain.

Speaker 22 It's a real podcast.

Speaker 16 She's being, oh, there it is.

Speaker 15 She's being awfully gentle about Notre Dame being ranked in perception better than Miami.

Speaker 15 It's got to be a little bit annoying for her and Lucy to hear all of your Miami talk that helped run them out of Miami because you talk about Miami so obnoxiously.

Speaker 26 If you've listened to this show, I haven't once caped up for Miami.

Speaker 25 You haven't?

Speaker 15 What you did to Washus and was disrespectful.

Speaker 20 Right, but we were just talking about a broadcast, but I haven't done a CFP ranking discussion today i'll do that on kane's insight with d money and peter rese today live at 1 p.m

Speaker 22 gary furman

Speaker 15 gary furman local legend yes or no gary furman says low no

Speaker 17 you can't say that john grooden putting together a staff

Speaker 15 oh he reported that wrong that's a good callback jessica you're gonna play you're gonna do the bucket with us here you're gonna you're gonna suffer the

Speaker 15 yeah uh Go ahead, Jeremy. What do you got?

Speaker 3 You got the Colts?

Speaker 44 I got the Colts hosting the Houston Texans. That defense is stingy.

Speaker 7 Let me remind everyone: the bucket is presented by Dentech's Ultimate Fantasy Football Punishment.

Speaker 11 Learn more and sign your league up at dentech.com.

Speaker 15 Dominique Foxworth says that the Colts have a quarterback problem.

Speaker 16 A quarterback problem.

Speaker 10 What does he know?

Speaker 44 Dave Damashek convinced me the Texans are going to win. I'm putting it back.

Speaker 5 The Colts are a four and a half point favorite at home.

Speaker 15 You're crazy.

Speaker 28 I know.

Speaker 3 That's a good favorite. I know it is.

Speaker 3 Shit.

Speaker 44 I got the Saints.

Speaker 16 Nice.

Speaker 16 I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 At Dolphins. That's a Dolphins.

Speaker 15 So the Saints are a six and a half point dog on the road.

Speaker 3 That's terrible.

Speaker 6 Even if the Dolphins are favored by

Speaker 8 six and a half against anybody.

Speaker 16 They're terrible.

Speaker 15 Go ahead, Mike.

Speaker 16 That was a very short Reaper this week.

Speaker 16 Cincinnati Bengals, do I get Joe back?

Speaker 15 You do. You get Joeback and Chase,

Speaker 3 and they're at Baltimore.

Speaker 29 No T.

Speaker 18 Higgins, though.

Speaker 16 They're seven and a half point dogs.

Speaker 6 I like to call this game the TriptoFan game.

Speaker 29 Where's your mouthpiece?

Speaker 23 All right. Oh,

Speaker 18 I'm not crazy about it, but Packers.

Speaker 16 Packers at Jags.

Speaker 16 At Lions.

Speaker 15 Lions at two and a half points. Favorite big games as big game or not a big game?

Speaker 3 Packers? Lions.

Speaker 16 Big game or not a big game. Thanksgiving.

Speaker 15 Big game or not giving.

Speaker 17 NFC North.

Speaker 16 That's a big game.

Speaker 15 That is a big game.

Speaker 39 All right, here we go. My first pick.

Speaker 29 I got the Tennessee Titans. Playing a little bit better, Playing a little better than the Jags.

Speaker 16 You haven't watched them.

Speaker 15 They're a good team. They're a six and a half point dog at home.
Jessica, think about who you want to pick for you, please.

Speaker 25 You watch football, Tony?

Speaker 16 Buddy, do I watch football?

Speaker 3 That's why I put it back.

Speaker 17 No one's ever said Titans are playing better.

Speaker 16 Jessica said that, not me. Jessica, for the record, I volunteered to pick for you if you need a help.

Speaker 3 Same.

Speaker 39 I got the Seattle Seahawks who play the Minnesota Vikings, 10.5-point favorites.

Speaker 3 They're going to beat that ass.

Speaker 15 Who's Minnesota's starting quarterback this week? He sucks. Who is it, though?

Speaker 15 It's not Wentz, so who is it?

Speaker 14 Wentz Brosmer. Isn't it the Minnesota Richards?

Speaker 15 So,

Speaker 15 I don't know who's starting for the Vikings at quarterback.

Speaker 16 It doesn't matter. Might as well be Max Brosmer.

Speaker 14 I just told you.

Speaker 39 Jess, you want me to pick for you?

Speaker 44 Yes.

Speaker 6 All right, I'm picking for Jess right here.

Speaker 28 This is Jess.

Speaker 16 First pull.

Speaker 5 Falcons. Sorry about that.

Speaker 5 You're actually a favorite at the Jets.

Speaker 43 Two and a half point favorite.

Speaker 14 Yucky, no.

Speaker 5 Okay, putting it back.

Speaker 11 A little rummage here for Jess.

Speaker 8 Go to the bottom here.

Speaker 5 The Titans. Wow, I'm really sorry.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Hell yeah.

Speaker 15 I'm so sorry. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Tony thinks they've been.

Speaker 10 Oh, but they're playing better.

Speaker 3 I'm so psyched about this.

Speaker 16 Really?

Speaker 18 I want you to lose so bad.

Speaker 6 Here, let me do my pick now.

Speaker 18 Oh, I do. You know what you do?

Speaker 20 The Raiders.

Speaker 11 Wow, I am just picking awful helmets.

Speaker 24 I'm going to give you terrible Pittsburgh recommendations.

Speaker 15 Raiders are at the Chargers a nine and a half point dog.

Speaker 14 I know a valet who you should give your car to.

Speaker 6 These three helmets I've picked. Like, let's see if I can if I get the Jets here, it'll be an all-time bad four helmets.

Speaker 16 The Raiders again.

Speaker 3 Wow, this is just awful.

Speaker 15 Yeah, you helped no one.

Speaker 16 Wow.

Speaker 9 I've had a terrible year at the bucket.

Speaker 44 Worst ever, they're seeing. He owes three punishments still.
It brought to be four.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 15 You're cursed. Yep.

Speaker 8 Next week, I'll sing the national anthem before a show.

Speaker 21 Just

Speaker 15 so that we're clear on the disrespect, I thought you were asking us if the person's name was Bronson. I still don't know what the Max, what is it?

Speaker 3 Brosmer. Brosmer.

Speaker 15 Okay, I thought you were asking.

Speaker 10 I didn't know you were telling us.

Speaker 14 No, it's okay. She speaks with a fear.

Speaker 16 Oh my God.

Speaker 15 What happened? There's a spider in there?

Speaker 25 I'm not sure whether it's a spider or not.

Speaker 23 What a great guest. Please tell me.

Speaker 15 Please tell me they have a video of that. Please tell me that we can show people how scared he really got of that.

Speaker 16 Oh my God.

Speaker 15 I hope the video caught that because that's legitimate fear from Zasla. I'm sorry they did that to you.
Are there any more spiders spiders in there, Reaper?

Speaker 15 Reaper, despite your lack of size, that was a good move.

Speaker 23 Yeah,

Speaker 15 that's a scared.

Speaker 19 We're working on the instant replay.

Speaker 15 Zaszlo, what did you get?

Speaker 3 I got the Bears.

Speaker 15 Wow, we really scared him.

Speaker 26 The Eagles.

Speaker 3 The Bears.

Speaker 16 Black Friday game.

Speaker 44 Wow, the rare time he got a win with the Bears last week, but now put you back.

Speaker 3 I love the Bears. I got the Jaguars.

Speaker 15 Nice. Jag's six and a half point favorite.

Speaker 16 The Titans are playing better.

Speaker 15 Yes, Mike keeps saying that. Jessica, happy Thanksgiving.
Thank you. I'm Golden Helmet.
So I got one more room with the Golden Helmet.

Speaker 15 Good seeing you, Jessica.

Speaker 23 I don't like a trick.

Speaker 45 All right, look, it's the holidays again, and people are running around and getting stressed out, and they're asking me, Roy, what should I get?

Speaker 5 What should I do?

Speaker 45 Give me some recipes. And every year I tell them the same exact thing.
Get meat. It's not that hard.
It's not that complicated. It's meat.

Speaker 45 And Omaha Steaks, they deliver the world's best steak experience, USDA-certified tinder steaks it tastes like someone actually cares about you burgers steaks comfort meals all that stuff makes you go

Speaker 45 that'll work and now during the cyber sale you can get 50 off site wide and an extra 20 off select favorites at omahasteaks.com plus our listeners get an extra 35 off of promo dan at checkout i've had omaha steaks many times i've given them out too people lose their minds you hand them that box and suddenly they think you're the greatest human alive.

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Speaker 45 That's omahasteaks.com, promo code D-A-N at checkout. Turns apply, see site for details.

Speaker 14 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. The days are getting way too short.

Speaker 34 It's dark at like 5 p.m.

Speaker 14 and I'm already instantly ready for bed. And look, this time of year can be tough.
People get busy, seasons change, and before you know it, you haven't checked in on your friends in months.

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Speaker 18 Call your mom.

Speaker 14 Grab coffee with the friend you said you've been meaning to catch up with since like May.

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Speaker 5 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 46 I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life.

Speaker 32 Stugats.

Speaker 46 Certainly not from your lovely grandfather, God. May of soul, rest in peace.

Speaker 32 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Speaker 15 That was a good trick. Zaszlo, that's as scared as I felt the energy of his fear.
That was not a bit.

Speaker 15 Look, I did not know until today's show that Zaszlo is legitimately afraid of spiders. The Zaszlo show 2.0, No The

Speaker 15 is available now wherever it is you get your podcasts. And he has said that you cannot text him or in any way contact him through social media with a spider or he will block you.

Speaker 15 He's an affable person, but that is his line. It's because he legitimately fears the spider.

Speaker 15 I was shown before the show something,

Speaker 15 some quotes. I saw some good quotes in a couple of different stories that I reacted to differently.

Speaker 15 One was seeing the way Tim Kuhn, who's still doing excellent writing for ESPN, wrote about Bill Belichick, wrote about Bill Belichick in North Carolina long form.

Speaker 15 But also I saw some quotes from Lee Corso.

Speaker 15 And it made me sad for Lee Corso because he kind of misses game day.

Speaker 15 And I

Speaker 15 understand

Speaker 15 everything at the end. He got such a great send-off.

Speaker 15 I was thinking to myself, it felt a bit like Ozzy Osborne's send-off, where he gets the celebration at the end of his career, and how lovely that we would be able to eulogize somebody while they're still with us, allow them the grace of aging on television, and send him off with a goodbye that made both networks stop and genuflect, both of them, in honor of what a mascot and voice he's been.

Speaker 15 But I haven't heard this sound, I've just read the quote. So, play Lee Corso talking about now being away from College Game Day.

Speaker 47 What has this season been like? Because it's the first one out of college football for you and what's probably felt like forever.

Speaker 45 What has it been like for you?

Speaker 15 Lousy.

Speaker 28 I hate it.

Speaker 15 I can't watch College Game Day. I mean,

Speaker 15 I just can't get used to it. I'm not working anymore.
I used to fly all over,

Speaker 21 but

Speaker 15 it sucks.

Speaker 17 That made me sad.

Speaker 22 Then why are you smiling?

Speaker 41 Do you understand how emotions work?

Speaker 15 I hate it. It sucks was not the answer I was expecting.
Because that's kind of like he's out.

Speaker 19 It looks like he's outside of a restaurant, just a news guy. It's just kind of like a fun, like, hey, how's it going in retirement? He's just like a brutally honest of like, yeah.

Speaker 15 He's in a parking lot.

Speaker 3 Well, look, look.

Speaker 15 Bobby Bowden said famously, once upon a time, I don't want to retire. There's only one event after retirement where your friends gather for you anymore, and you're not alive to see it.

Speaker 25 Why can't he throw a party?

Speaker 15 That's uncommonly honest. I feel I've wanted over the course of today's show, this is what I've wanted to do.

Speaker 15 I've wanted, before the end of the season, to do an honest University of Miami broadcast like the one Mike wants. So it's not Bob Washusin, but it's our show just during a game.
No, you're talking.

Speaker 15 And also.

Speaker 6 You wanted a mean as the turkey of the day?

Speaker 15 I want a mean as turkey of the day.

Speaker 10 Turkey Turkey of the month.

Speaker 15 Turkey of the month.

Speaker 23 Although Jessica.

Speaker 15 Jessica might.

Speaker 15 Based on that F1

Speaker 15 that F1 minute.

Speaker 16 Moment. No, you had it right.
F1 moment.

Speaker 15 And her internet moment as well, not her internet moment.

Speaker 21 You like that when we did that?

Speaker 15 No, I did not like... No, no, I don't like my employees.

Speaker 10 You set it up all show. I'm like, Amin.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 31 Jessica, try.

Speaker 34 Yeah.

Speaker 15 It stunk. I don't like the employees corporate time stealing weasels to actively not do their job well as an act of defiance.
Yosh will show you and the audience we won't try even more.

Speaker 15 Amin embarrassed himself yesterday, and I think that should be punitive. I think something should happen to him based on what it is that he did.

Speaker 15 But then Jessica comes in and does this, the very same thing. Like, why promise me an F1 minute if that's what you're going to do?

Speaker 15 She wanted so badly to talk about Texas AM and Texas, and that's an interesting one this weekend.

Speaker 26 Like, of all of them.

Speaker 20 I don't trust this committee if Texas wins this game.

Speaker 17 They can't jump all the way into the picture.

Speaker 20 I don't trust it.

Speaker 17 Go from 16 to 10.

Speaker 3 Hey, you guys want some three losses?

Speaker 20 You guys want some information?

Speaker 31 Oh, what?

Speaker 18 I happen to know.

Speaker 37 Yeah.

Speaker 18 You have a happen to know.

Speaker 36 He happens to know? Great Scott, he happens to know.

Speaker 16 He happens to know.

Speaker 23 Gather, everyone.

Speaker 36 Get the children.

Speaker 2 He happens to know.

Speaker 21 So wise.

Speaker 10 It's funny every time.

Speaker 20 Florida was going down to the wire with this one battling, but I think the crutching realization that they are not going to get the guy they thought they were going to get for months on end, that's finally lapped upon their shores.

Speaker 26 I think they're pivoting.

Speaker 20 Jed Fish right now is a desired candidate.

Speaker 41 I mentioned Jed Fish on ESPN too, like a month and a half ago.

Speaker 20 By the AD, but the boosters have some other plan.

Speaker 8 Is it Dab O'Clock?

Speaker 20 I think you're going to see a lot of big-time names. The Boosters want Sizzle because they missed out on Lane Kiffen.

Speaker 20 And I don't think Jed Fish, though I believe him to be a good coach, liked him down here in Miami when he was here.

Speaker 20 That's not going to please these boosters.

Speaker 15 I meant to ask Jessica, and I failed to do it, if anyone

Speaker 15 in our audience has any objection as the professionalization of college football makes it more and more the second biggest sports business that there is in America, that when Mike Gundy gets blown out at one of these lower-tier jobs that's still a decent job,

Speaker 15 that the way that Oklahoma State very quickly tries to snap its fingers and fix, okay, let's get that Mike Gundy stink off of us is let's just get North Texas's quarterback and North Texas's coach.

Speaker 15 They seem good at offense over there. Can we make it a slightly better thing here by just grabbing the smaller programs, coach and quarterback?

Speaker 15 Some people listening to this are made uncomfortable by that as just a transaction, no?

Speaker 20 I mean, it follows logic. The quarterback stuff isn't out there, but I expect the quarterback to follow the head coach.
I also expect the, I happen to know, D.C.

Speaker 20 to follow.

Speaker 26 And that's a right move for Oklahoma State.

Speaker 20 They don't have T-Boom Pickens around anymore. They're going to have to win inside the margins, get one of these guys that is going to use them to launch pad themselves and do a bigger job.

Speaker 20 That's a reality for Oklahoma State. It's not a reality that was there for them at the turn of the century for several years when they had a huge power broker in the sport.
T-Boom Pickens goes away.

Speaker 20 They're kind of outgunned. So this is a great hire for them.

Speaker 15 Jamal Hill is going to join us here in a little bit. Jeremy Tashay is

Speaker 15 under the best of circumstances, his heat analysis can be both very informative and too much to handle.

Speaker 15 So Jeremy Tashay wanted everyone to know that Tyler Harrow in his last game, where he had 24 points and zero assists,

Speaker 15 tied an NBA record for made floaters in that game. Hell yeah.

Speaker 15 An NBA record. I did not know that we were tracking made floaters, but he made eight floaters.

Speaker 15 And so Tyler Harrow, in his return to the Miami Heat as an all-star, a career, or no, I'm sorry, a tying of any game played throughout history since we started tracking floaters.

Speaker 15 I'm guessing that's fairly recent, the tracking of floaters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's in the NBA tracking era, the shot tracking era, but eight of nine on floaters in that game. And I believe that tied C.J.
McCollum and Jalen Brunson in their careers.

Speaker 1 Those are the only other two guys who have ever made eight floaters in a singular game. That was his first day back, and they normally say, you know, timing with that is a little bit difficult.

Speaker 20 Most people know that set, though.

Speaker 34 It's It's like Demagia.

Speaker 1 Oh, do you want another set, though?

Speaker 15 How many threes did McCollum make last night? Because I saw he had 45. It's not a lot.

Speaker 3 But how many?

Speaker 26 He had 45 threes.

Speaker 3 It's higher than average.

Speaker 26 46.

Speaker 17 He had 10 threes last night. Wow.

Speaker 8 How about this stat?

Speaker 7 Per Brett Usher?

Speaker 1 Qualified players in NBA history to average a double-double with a steal per game, a block per game, and 40% from three.

Speaker 1 Larry Bird in 1984-85 and through 18 games, Khalil Ware this season.

Speaker 20 There was actually an interesting Heat set that Jeremy showed me. I say this as if I'm surprised.

Speaker 16 You sound like because the Miami Heat.

Speaker 17 You watch any games yet this year?

Speaker 10 No, not yet. I'm getting to it, though.

Speaker 18 Oh, no, I saw one that was on Amazon Prime.

Speaker 20 It was an NBA Cup game and they didn't win.

Speaker 17 NBA Cups tonight, too.

Speaker 34 You know what's crazy? I looked it up.

Speaker 20 The main tiebreaker in the NBA Cup is head-to-head.

Speaker 20 So the Miami Heat are running the least amount of pick and rolls in the league by a lot.

Speaker 19 And that's crazy because they're going to set an NBA record.

Speaker 20 Because I'm pretty sure if Bam Autobio gets a statue outside of the arena, it's going to be that dribble handoff.

Speaker 43 Oh, you shut your mouth.

Speaker 3 Also,

Speaker 20 when your signature move is a dribble handoff, should put it on the poll.

Speaker 26 It would be the block on Tatum.

Speaker 15 Put it on the poll at Lebetard show. Should Bam's statue

Speaker 15 be a handoff?

Speaker 26 Come on. It's a signature move, the dribble handoff.

Speaker 15 Kirk Goldsberry says of the heat, quote, Miami's doing something completely different. Will teams around the NBA start to copy this like they copied elements of the Spurs or Dan Tony's systems.

Speaker 15 That's what the nerds are talking about. And Stan Van Gundy has said of Khalil Ware, his development has been fun to watch.
This was on Zach Lowe's podcast.

Speaker 15 Their last seven or eight games, he's been as dominant as any big in the league. This is a legit leap happening right before our eyes is what Stan Van Gundy is saying

Speaker 15 on the Zach Lowe podcast. But here is the instant replay finally of Zaz being legitimately scared by a spider in the bucket.

Speaker 15 He is indeed horrified. Play this because this is as scared as I've ever felt someone be in our environment.
He jumped away from me. I felt his energy.

Speaker 14 No, it's okay.

Speaker 26 She speaks with authority.

Speaker 16 Oh my God.

Speaker 16 What happened?

Speaker 3 There's a spider in there?

Speaker 15 That is the brave Jonathan Zaszlo, the face of bravery.

Speaker 45 Face of a sucker.

Speaker 30 It's the holidays and the 50th anniversary of Miller Light.

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