Hour 2: Amin's Internet (feat. Amin Elhassan)
Dan has his own version of a Tony's Top 5 for the NFL Weekend before we get to Amin's Weekend Observations. Or, we at least TRY to get to Amin's Weekend Observations. His internet is awful, just like how Dan would look in Daniel Craig's speedo from James Bond.
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Transcript
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This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stew Gats Podcast.
Amino Hassan will be here shortly to give us his weekend observations. There are some more football things I wanted to get to.
Tony's not here today, so let's just recreate his top five.
I'll do his top five because Tony, I don't know what happened. He had some sort of emergency.
So I've got top five football observations, mine on behalf of Tony.
OLI number one, Max Brosmer is the first quarterback that's ever played that Tony will not fall in love with
that play where he just flung the ball and i want to go play a pick six that's i'm gonna say that was the worst feeling of the weekend for any football player if it had not been for another oli
Matthew Stafford hydro planing five yards backwards on a pick six as the final block makes him go from the five-yard line on his back to the goal line is the worst he's felt in 10 weeks.
Hydro planing on his back, Two, a pick six and two interceptions in the first quarter. A fumble at the end of the game.
He's been clean for 10 straight weeks.
Why'd Brosmer throw that?
One of the worst plays in Nvil history. We're still in OLI.
Oh, really? Eagles fans are pooing.
Is that right?
Is that right?
Still in OLI.
The Cowboys, huh?
Also, OLI.
Guys doing first down. First down, it's done.
It's over. You're done with the first down signal.
No, you got to let the crowd know. Oh, it's over.
It's all too many of them. How will they know?
Too many of you are doing it. It's too many of you.
You know, you can't see the yellow line when you're there in person.
Keelyn Marion for Miami did a first down signal when he was two and a half yards short.
Number five. I believe Tua slid and thought he got a first down and then stood up and realized they marked him like that.
Tua got something wrong? get them all out of here. Oh my god.
Two OL OLI as well. I-N-T.
14 interceptions. Worst in the league.
Was that a punt? I have to check with McDaniel on that. Oh, tell me about that arm punt.
It was on first down. Saszlo thinks.
Saszlo's just proclaiming him terrible. Bad.
Bad. Proclaim? Is anyone else watching the game besides me? Even Greg Cody's turned off.
He is a broken, awful football player. I don't know if anybody watched that game outside of you.
I was mad that I had to watch it. I turned the sound off at one point.
I had the four screen going. going.
I had the sound on. Then I'm like, what am I doing? Number five.
You want to guess how many times Geno Smith has been sacked the last two games? 600. 15.
15.
They're terrible.
Tom Brady, bad owner.
Did you see the reports about Chip Kelly? About how he was calling for personnel groupings that were non-existent, how he was calling plays that weren't in the game plan. No way.
I mean, it looked like that, didn't it? That's why he got fired. That he was calling plays that weren't installed in the game plan.
But like, he wants the personnel that allows 13 guys on the field.
He's calling for personnel groupings that just weren't installed. That can happen, though.
In Man and Madden, sometimes you'll be playing with a team and you're expecting a play, but that's not what that they don't have that play in the offense, so you have to call a different play.
Number four, Sky Moore has the coolest name in the sport, Sky with two Ys.
Number three,
I really loved watching Trent Williams against Miles Garrett.
Seeing Miles Garrett struggle, that was something to behold. You seen Miles Garrett's arms? Yeah, they're big.
Like a lot bigger than mine, man.
Yes, his arms are bigger than yours. Well, like a lot.
Number two, check out the cold schedule the rest of the way.
And number one.
Oh, the Chiefs are done, huh?
The whole Chiefs thing is done. We got the Texans this week.
Oh, it's done. The Chiefs.
Chiefs win. Well, the Chiefs thing is done now, though, right?
After, I guess that's a little unceremonious, right? Because we keep thinking they'll come back. They'll always come back.
But this year, they're bad and one-scored game. I did a deep dive.
You know, Dolphins still in the hunt. So I did a deep dive on every team kind of in the hunt and their remaining schedule.
And I think the number to get to, 10-7,
should get you in the playoffs. So the Chiefs are.
The Bengals are in the mix at 4-8. Chiefs are at 6 losses.
So technically, I think they have one more game they can lose. But I think, yeah, Dan, it's going to be tough for the Chiefs.
So it's based on the AFC being bad, and yet still, if you get to the playoffs and the Chiefs have to go on the road against the Colts with a broken fibula of Daniel Jones or the Patriots with two broken tackles.
Yeah, I like the Chiefs. We're going to keep doing that?
We're going to do all season that the AFC is so broken that none of these teams can actually kill the Chiefs because you're not even going to believe in the Bills.
You can't believe in the Ravens, right? I didn't even get to the Ravens. I didn't even say the Ravens here.
Lamar Jackson does not look like Lamar Jackson. What happened?
But somebody explained that to me. He's the MVP of the league.
Is he hurt? Why is he not running? He's not running.
I think it's the same fear that everyone has with quarterbacks that are just so astronomically talented physically is over the course of a career, those hip start adding up.
And Lamar Jackson has had his injuries.
When you have just the slightest dilution to that athleticism that made you so much more athletic than everybody else, then the difference between you and everybody else gets closed real quick.
Doesn't it stand to reason if we're talking about how good sports in general have gotten at
measuring the value of people?
Measuring the value of how good and important is this athlete.
If I tell you in that sport, the economics of it make it so that the running back is disposable, even if you have someone as good as Kenneth Walker. The running back is disposable.
Financially, you're telling me it's so. You're telling me we're going to burn through A.
Chan's body so that when it's time to pay him, you don't pay him.
You're just going to burn those years of his body, and it's going to happen faster than you've ever seen because of how violent and big and giant all of these people are.
When Mike speaks to the lost a step, I every Sunday marvel at the fact that these giant people can't tackle Josh Allen.
That he's too big and strong and his body's not going to break down.
He's available all the time. Herbert's available all the time.
He's also physically very big, but Herbert is breaking body part at a time because he gets hit way too much. Way too much.
Are we willing to say
in that position, the organization of the Ravens has been great for a long time, just organizationally over different eras of football.
And one of the ways they game the system over the last few years is their running back has been their quarterback, and then they add Derrick Henry.
You think the miles are going to end up costing Derrick Henry at some point, but the economics of the position and the physicality of the position,
has it chewed up Lamar Jackson from inside the Ravens like
architecture? I think it's a fair question to ask. When you look at the nature of his turnovers, there, some of that was pretty embarrassing, and it didn't look like the Lamar that we know.
He is used to being able to escape escape that sack at the last second and underhand something.
And the drop in athleticism could be as small as, usually you hold on to that ball and it doesn't slip out of your hands.
Maybe you're thinking a little bit more about what you have to do physically to escape that. He wasn't crazy.
It's crazy.
It's crazy zone play action because it's crazy to consider that a lost step of athleticism would already be here for Lamar Jackson, right? It makes sense.
It doesn't. It doesn't though, right? Because he's still a young man.
Yeah, but he plays a style of football that ages you, I think, prematurely, which is everyone's concern when you get one of the mobile quarterbacks that enter the league. Sometimes it looks like that.
You have a quarterback that plays a little bit more traditional from the pocket, but also had athleticism aid him. Look what happened to Aaron Rodgers.
The tail-off in Aaron Rodgers' play is about five years going right now. And you could see a dip in his performance once his escapability, which was always super underrated, started diminishing.
And now he's a guy who's rightfully scared of any contact and he's throwing balls in the dirt to avoid it and he's literally curling up in plays that.
He's curling up to avoid the play that got them beat at the very beginning of yesterday where he doesn't have the physical sense in the pocket anymore to know that someone is chasing him from behind.
It's just aging. That
a bosa is chasing him from behind. It's just aging and guys who are so reliant on their athleticism tend to age a little quicker.
Do we point out that before Thursday night, the Ravens had one five in a row?
Yeah, but they had the part of the schedule that was supposed to be easy because because it was Browns and Jets and Bengals.
And he wasn't overly impressive. Look at the Colts' next five games.
You do not want that schedule. The Colts are headed for a buzzsaw
and their quarterback has a fractured leg. And Dominique Foxworth was saying before this last game.
It's bad. He was saying that.
You guys want to play a little WL?
The Colts have a quarterback problem. We're not going to do WL.
It's only five games. You said look at the next five games.
Only five games. I'm just telling people.
How can I look at it and not play that? The reason I'm doing that is only because I can't remember. It's twice against Jacksonville.
It's once against Seattle.
You're asking me to ask you guys. I believe at Jacksonville.
What do we think? I believe I had them going 10-7. They were one of my 10-7ers.
So at Jacksonville, that's a win.
Oh, Spiro better be on that call.
Just so I can hear him go, the Jigs. At Seattle.
That's a tough one. I know what they just did against Brosmer.
Then they host on Monday night football. The San Francisco 49ers.
They play the Jags twice.
If that's an easy game, those are their two easy games. Go against the Jags.
Win.
And then final week of the season, they're at Houston. For a playoff spot? Unless they lose to the Jags twice.
C.J. Stroud.
Good.
There are plenty of people who saw what happened yesterday and said the Texans are the team no one wants to see in the AFC playoffs because they can beat you with defense.
They can beat you with pass rush. I hear you.
I'm going to go with a team that's made nine straight conference championships. Yeah, I'd be okay with that.
I don't want to see the greatest quarterback of all time if I'm in the playoffs.
Well, this week you get Texans Chiefs, and the loser of that, I would say, well, I guess the Texans could lose that and still make it. Derek Stingley's been unbelievable for Houston.
Like, he just eliminates the side of the field for them. Solid player.
I think the Bengals are going to win the AFC North. They're 4-8.
But you see their schedule, too? Yep. Let me see.
They could win the rest of their games. I love this.
It's Joe Burrow, 4-8, chasing down Aaron Rodgers and Lamar Jackson, who are limping. And they played right twice.
Put up the Bengals schedule.
All right. At Buffalo.
At Buffalo this weekend.
They could win it. They They could.
They could win, but we could make that a loss though. Fine, fine.
Just in case. But I wouldn't, though, given that with Joe Burrow, that team has gone into Buffalo.
Like I said,
has beaten Buffalo.
All right, so at Buffalo. Yep.
Then they host the Ravens. Win.
They host the Ravens. And pick up a game on them.
Okay. Then they're at the Ravens.
And that would give them the season series sweep over the road. The Dolphins will be in the hunt.
Do we think they'll be able to beat the Dolphins in Miami? Yep, win. Okay.
Video, can you just keep putting stacking schedules on top of each other? Oh, I thought you'd never asked me. Just keep, just the rest of this segment, just continue to just stack
schedules on top of each other. The Dolphins offense can't keep up with Banks.
All right, so then they're going to host the Arizona Cardinals. I mean, that's an obvious W.
And then at the end of the year, they'll host Cleveland.
I have not mentioned enough, okay? Just let me walk through the audio. I'd like to walk the audio audience through something that is largely visual.
But I saw two catches yesterday.
that I can argue are among the best ever made in professional football. I can assemble the argument on that Bowers touchdown and on that Puka Nakua.
You only have to
open it. He only has to get one hand open now.
It's not even the same. But the defender's hand like pinched the ball.
You didn't even see the Traylon Burks one. Oh, where
he has a finger that is literally taped together.
The way that Puka caught that ball is: I am going to try and describe this while pushing off a defender.
I think that was Mike Jackson. While pushing off a defender
with his dominant hand, but his dominant hand turned away from his face.
He is catching a football with his right wrist.
A football thrown 35 yards, I'm going to say. This is the good stuff.
This is the good stuff. 35 yards.
I would love to just talk over this and describe both of the catches because I once saw Mark Bavaro catch a ball with one bare hand. It was close to the ground and he just snatched it.
And then that's when I realized
these people have have limbs and stuff that are much bigger than ours. That's a tight end right there.
But you saw the Bowers catch, correct? Well, Bowers is a tight end.
Now, good luck explaining to your parents, or your kids, rather, that Bowers was a dominant tight end, as dominant as you've ever seen, even with bad offenses and a quarterback being sacked 15 times in two games.
And he looked like that head of hair. Like, he is totally undermining what athleticism is supposed to look like.
by having that particular head of hair.
So the Cowboys are at the Lions on Thursday night football this week that's a losers out game that's a make-or-break game losers out game then the texans big game or not a big game
is texans chiefs a big game or not because you just said that's a team either and that's a game that either is out losers out game and then you said the texans might be able to survive texans probably survive chiefs texans have seven wins chiefs have six both these teams
will miss the playoffs not a big game whoa
can't be a big game if both teams are not gonna make a playoffs why would that be a big game What?
Why would a game be big? The Chiefs only play big games. With two teams that are not in the playoffs.
I'm not going to argue with this sound, but the Chiefs always play big games.
You're going to tell me that a game that would properly extinguish them when we're sitting here arguing, are they really out? And would they be a favorite against all the other AFC teams?
Like, that's just...
They're one game better than the Dolphins, Dan. Why are we talking with such stupidity?
I thought you were just going to stop it at why are we talking?
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Don Lebatard.
Since his large game performed and continued to establish on some reasonable amount, yes, it's actually.
Please story.
Stugats at the top, everyone,
I always like leaving a hand on the chickens.
Because he's so vulnerable, I just unfairly fade down the chicken to just leave him by himself. This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.
Are we playing a big game? Are we not a big game? Or are we not? You just said it's not a big game, and the Chiefs being eliminated, that's not something that can be quiet, right?
It's not something that can happen quietly. They're 10th right now.
It feels like they were eliminated yesterday or Thursday. Thursday.
They're 10th. They're closer to last place than they are first place.
But they do have two games of their five remaining at Tennessee and at Las Vegas.
Automatic damage. They'll split those.
They'll split those.
Cowboys Lions?
Amin Alhassen is going to join us for his weekend observations in moments.
I want to remind the audience, or I guess this year telling you for the first time, we have learned on how it is to do our toy drives over the years, and we have now partnered here with Branches and Amazon's wish list that Branches has so that before December 15th, all of you can support our annual toy drive without actually having to come to where it is that we are.
You could just go to lebitardaf.com and know that if you're donating dolls, remote-controlled cars, nerf toys, board games, craft kits, perfumes, and cologne, building toys, Legos, educational toys, action figures, gift cards.
Tesla. The game of Clue.
Big game? Not a big game. Oh, what a game.
Clue?
Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the wrench? That's a big game. Big game.
Monopoly, big game, not a big game. Oh, Monopoly.
Come on now. Come on now.
Who? What kind of... Is that Jeremy? Did Jeremy do that? $200 must go.
Is Monopoly a big game? It's one of the old-timers. Some people don't like Monopoly.
But it's a first ballot Hall of Fame. Roll doubles three times to get out of jail for it.
You're saying that
if Monopoly is not a big game, then what the hell's a big game, Jeremy? You realize. Clue, apparently.
No, Clue. Bigger game.
You know about that free parking? Put it on the poll at Lebatarge Show.
Bigger game. Clue or Monopoly? Operation.
Big game, not a big game.
Don't try and cover your trumpets. Operation game is so unfortunate.
Do you guys buy Mediterranean Ave if you land on it? Like the purple, the sad first purple one. Pop to buy a colour.
Do you do that? No, I pass on that. I'm just so locked in on board with the money.
Thank you, Lebrad.
I can't see anything else. Maybe even give me the green monopoly.
Atlantic Avenue, I believe, the green one. I like the green.
Leave this one in. The thing is, do you allow trading when you play? Oh, yeah, late in the game.
Come on, of course.
The only rule is there are no rules at the end. LebatardAF.com.
We're teaming with branches. They do good work.
We vetted them. And so the toy drive will be a bigger thing this year.
And it's been pretty big in the past because we're not asking you to actually go anywhere to give us physically toys. You just have to go to lebatardaf.com.
And there are an assortment of kids here who will get nice holiday things if it's easy for you. LebatardAF.com.
Zaslow, you were cold all weekend, and then you get on a flight.
And did you watch a movie that would make Amin proud of you? I think so. I watched a movie on my way to Norman, Oklahoma this weekend.
I watched, for the very first time, a James Bond movie.
Okay, we'll get to that with a mean in a second, but he just dropped out even though he was waiting the entire time. So we'll be with you.
I'm seeing him back in, so he should be here in a second.
So, do you have a report for us on a report for a mean? Which movie did you see of James Bond's? Now, I admitted I know I will like the James Bond movies.
It's not like I'm like, oh, I don't want to watch James Bond. I do want to watch the James Bond movies.
I just hadn't. I'd never seen a single James Bond movie.
So, which one did you see? Well, I'm watching the Daniel Craig Craig ones. So I saw Casino Royale.
The first 10 minutes of that are very good. Yeah, I thought the whole movie was very good.
I enjoyed it.
The first 10 minutes of it were very good. Yeah, he kills that guy right there.
Yeah, but James Bond, is Daniel Craig,
I mean, where would you rank Daniel Craig? Is he all-time Bonds? Is he second? Is he third? Ooh, as far as James Bonds go, you know, so Sean Connery obviously is number one. That's obvious?
That's the consensus. That's what everyone says.
Like when people think James Bond, they think Sean Connery. Then it turns into argument.
Will it hold up?
I mean, like, if I watch the Sean Connery ones now, will it hold up? I mean, yes and no. Yes and no.
It's an old movie.
I am playing Bullshites. And then now, some people like Pierce Brosnan.
Some people like Roger Moore as
the second best right there. I think, man, you know, Daniel Craig might be in the conversation for second best with Roger Moore.
But if someone is saying to you they've watched a Bond movie, you said that your opinion should be disqualified as a movie critic if you have never seen a Bond movie.
He's now seen one Bond movie with possibly the fourth best or fifth best Bond. Does that qualify him now to have more opinions about movies that you respect?
Well, yeah, so when people say, hey, I've never seen James Bond, what should I watch? I tell them to start with the Daniel Craig ones because they feel like modern movies.
I think people can keep up with them. Now, if he watches all the Daniel Craig movies, maybe then we can start to, maybe we could start to kind of like
have conversations. But right now, watching one Bond movie, get out of here.
No, I will not get out of here because I'm going to watch all.
No, I will not get out of here because I'm going to watch all the Daniel Craig James Bond movies. Yeah, you're going to get out of here and go watch the rest of them.
And then you can come back and talk to me. Where does Casino Royale
hold up with the Daniel Craig Bond movies? Is it one of the better ones? I would say it's one of the better ones. Yeah.
Yeah, it was good.
I like them.
They have a quality. Here's the thing about the Daniel Craig James Bond movies.
They have a very Mission Impossible quality of long-term. I totally felt like I was watching Mission Impossible.
Yeah.
It was like, I enjoy watching this. I don't remember a whole lot.
It's like, oh, yeah, it was good. Like, what's it about? I don't know.
It's a casino. It's a great point.
The Mission Impossible movies, Dan.
The only thing I remember from Mission Impossible is Henry Cabell doing the thing with his wrists. That's right.
That's all I remember. Bathroom.
Yeah, in the bathroom. But the first 10 minutes of
Casino Royale are exceptional. Like, they might be the first, they might be the best 10 minutes of Bond that Daniel Craig did.
That's the one in Mexico, right? It starts at Mexico City.
And it's all the parkour that they're doing through the construction site, the lunacy of that chase.
I don't remember, I'm still trying to remember if this is
the one where it starts with the parade in Mexico. The funny thing about that, Dan, is that parade did not exist prior to that movie in Mexico, like in real life.
But then they did the la muerte and like actually life imitated art.
So I'm worried about your internet, and I'm worried about doing weekend observations this way, but we're going to power through it at the beginning.
And if you have one failure, we're going to get rid of you, and it'll still be better than last week was. Is Casino the Royale, the one where he also emerges from the waves in that powder blue speedo?
Yep. Hot.
Yep.
Oh,
is it? Is it?
I thought it was the second one. My boy was packing.
The alcomes. No, I believe you.
You don't. Talking about his dick.
I'm going to go ahead and question Amin's knowledge, given that he doesn't have basic facts about Casino Royale. He's merging his Daniel Craig movies and can't remember what's what.
Dan, I'm going to tell you something else about Amin that I learned over the weekend. I learned something about you, Amin, and I'm going to tell everybody about it now, right now.
You're not going to be a son. What's that? Amin,
big time. My internet sucks.
Big time TV fraud. Big TV fraud.
How?
You've never seen Stranger Things? Get the hell out of here.
Ah, man.
I'm not watching that, man. I ain't watching that shit.
What am I watching a show about kids?
You fool. Oh, the little kids.
I feel good about this. I think we should do it.
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Don Lebatard. I actually thought you looked kind of good.
Stugats. Thank you.
I have the beard's grown out a little bit. I got a little life in my face, I feel like.
A little tan.
Colorado, San Francisco. Great time.
You get life on your face.
You've got death on your face. I think you've got 40 to life on your face.
This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stewarts.
I mean, let's just stop.
Let's start weekend observations. I didn't think you could do worse than last week, but I salute you for doing somehow worse than last week.
Whoa.
Yes, Daniel Craig was packing. Yeah, very hot.
Yeah, very hot, unquestionably hot. I actually saw that picture.
I'm like, let me see if I could buy one of these Speedos. And then I was like, nah.
I won't look at it. Really? You thought you'd look like that?
It made you want to see what does this cost. Everyone wants to see what they'd look like in that.
I'm with the pastor. I know, that's not true in any way.
You just take it for a walk.
You don't need too much self-defense. You take it for a walk.
Maybe you walk out, show your wife, be like, yay, nay. I was also part curious because I'm pretty sure this Speedo costs like $3,000.
Chris, you want to see what you look like?
Like I said,
like I said, take it for a walk. I'd like to see that.
I'd like to watch you walk. I would not want you taking a walk.
Ah, the love handles. New bucket punishment, folks.
Bucket punishment is emerging from the waves, and that's Speedo. I said, take it for a walk.
Yes, no, we're going to do it. At the walk out of the waves.
Out of the beach. It'll be either.
This one I was more half-kidding at. You or me are working? Yes.
Amin, are you ready to do your weekend observation? Well, we're doing it. With bad internet.
Let's do it. It is time for
to share his game notes.
No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy. I mean,
weekend observations is presented by Miller Light.
All right, we got that part in. All right, we're good.
All right, cool.
Dan,
Georgia Tech had the dream season, led by a Heisman-worthy quarterback, with hopes of a college football playoff birth on the horizon, but with back-to-back losses, including
one where I
lost
unbelievable.
Now you're cooking, keep cooking. We didn't hear any of your punchline.
We didn't hear anything yet. You mean not giving a sink?
Awesome. Tremendous.
L. Duncan making a bet to potentially wear Georgia Tech gear on Sports Center.
Then leaving ESPN the next day. Hetty play.
Can't be mad at that.
The Colts. Losers of three of their last four.
Still have the Seahawks, Niners, and Jags twice left on their schedule. You hear that sound, Dano?
I can't hear anything you're saying because you're garbled happy. No, we got you.
Keep going. That's the sound of a clock striking midnight.
Pumpkin time.
The Finns.
Keep hope alive.
I told you, Greg. Stay strong.
Stay strong, Greg Cody.
Where is he? Where is Greg Cody? He'll be here tomorrow and Wednesday. Okay.
Oh, boy. For about a half a football, I thought the Raiders were actually
the Chargers. All right.
That's enough. That's enough.
All right. Get out of here.
Get out of game.
Just get out of here. Going out like a sucker.
You got to do better next week, okay? You have to do better next year. Bear on a heater.
I mean,
you have to do better next week. I mean,
what do i what am i gonna do i wrote it i wrote it the shit's good the jokes are good what am i supposed to do all right keep cooking i'm supposed to go out on top of the the roof and like
have them hook up wires and like i'm responsible all right okay we're good all right all right here we go you fought through it you got one more chance at this and then you're doing the rest of this on social media only
for about a half of football i thought the raiders were get out of here
you're gonna be
you're not peeking at the right time
Do the rest of it on social media. Do it.
Progress. Finish it without our help.
Get out of here. You're not ruining any more.
Wicked observations are presented by Miller Lane. I'm sold now.
What a disgrace.
Hey, hey, I'm going to quit my job and go work.
All right, back to your show.
Do you know how hard it is to be worse than he was last week?
I didn't think it was possible. Head to head.
I didn't think it was possible to be worse than he was last week, but, and yet somehow better, because what's funnier than his first entire punchline being garbled?
That's the perfect timing for him to get cut off, honestly, from the internet. By the internet.
Oh, my God. Head to head.
All right, enough of of Mario Cristobal. We've talked enough college football.
I wouldn't mind if a mean, broken voice continued to make appearances over the next seven minutes as he just sits there.
Put him in the picture in picture and just make him suffer there without being able to do anything other than sit there.
The frozen picture right now.
I want to know how many times I have to shout for as much as we analyze football.
Sorry. For as much as we analyze football around here
year-round, and especially this time of year, the Eagles fundamentally falling apart every time Lane Johnson is hurt is crazy.
Like in terms of Jason Kelsey's the one who got all the fame for being the offensive lineman on that line. And yet when Lane Johnson is hurt, that team loses.
Whether A.J. Brown gets his 100 yards or not, they kind of need Lane Johnson to be out there mauling people.
And I don't,
I know we know that Lane Johnson and Trent Williams are the most special of the physical beasts that there are at the tackle position. What care about Paul? In that sport? What about Paul?
Paul is not quite in the Trent Williams category. That's a pro bowling second year.
I'm not saying he's not good.
I'm not saying he's not good. I exclusively watch Paul on Dolphins
now.
I'm so dialed in. It was really great analysis from Chris Cody.
And now
I watch him more than I watch Fred Warner Isolate. I'm just like, man, this Paul guy, he's a player.
It's great. Great build around him.
It's great to have an offensive lineup
whose name rhymes with Maul. Yes, and you can just call him.
Still don't know first or last name. Me neither, but he's good.
You'll agree, though, that it's funny that we spend
so much time talking about A.J. Brown that Al Michaels, who's fed up, goes on Amazon Prime.
And Prime, during the game on Friday, by the way, the rest of you at Lebaturg show, did you forget there was an NFL game on Friday? Because I did. We can get to this tomorrow.
PFBI forgot about that game. A bunch of people didn't make picks.
Controversy. We can get to that tomorrow.
They were were not happy at the sports bar in Pittsburgh when I asked for Georgia, Georgia Tech on the sound, please. Did you look for Inner Miami as well while you were in?
I had zero luck getting Apple TV at the sports bar, but also I was living and dying with every Michael Van Buren Jr. pass, so I understood.
So we had Damashek down here being like, where's the Pirates game? And now Mike's up in Pittsburgh being like, where's the Inner Miami game?
Different accent. Different places.
Mike adopted the accent just for being in comedic purposes. Hey, Yins got messy.
You just couldn't find a championship level, a game to get to the MLS Cup.
We were all at dinner, like, again, desperate for LSU's offense to do anything.
Somebody had it on their phone, and we were following the game. The game was pretty well in hand, like 10 minutes into it within Miami.
Al Michaels is so fed up with just the general nature of sports media that he spit like with acid on the Friday broadcast
that A.J. Brown is surrounded by a cacophony of crap.
A cacophony of crap.
That's great. Meaningless, meaningless talk.
But we talk so much about Saquon and A.J. Brown.
Like, why are we ignoring that they lose every time they lose
their right tackle?
Their record, they lose two-thirds of their games when he's out. But I guess over the last few weeks, they've been strange.
Like, their form has just been kind of all over the place, even when Lane Johnson's out there. But I hear you.
If you keep on with this herky-jerky form and you don't have Lane Johnson, Lane Johnson probably deserves like more credit than the other lane in sports right now for someone pointing to it and being like, this guy's really great.
The reason I bring all of it up, okay, is because, look, you can have all the surprises you want in the NFL. You thought Detroit would be better this year.
You're surprised the Bengals are still in it at four and eight.
Everywhere you look, you can find an assortment of this is the wildest sort of football season of I'm not totally sure who's not flawed out there, where you can see just about everyone being beaten.
But for Dallas to be in the position to chase down Philadelphia, because what we saw,
I know a lot of people are shocked by Rams Carolina result, but football sometimes happened. The Rams had a nice run.
The thing that I saw over the course of the last week that was the most surprising thing to me, is the Bears Zoe line gutting on the road Philadelphia.
Gutting Philadelphia, a champion Philadelphia team that has championship defense.
I didn't see a bigger surprise than that this weekend, and I'm understanding what I'm saying that Carolina was a 10-point underdog at home. Hey,
at what point do we give Jerry Jones credit? Right now.
Because I understand, and Micah Parsons has been fantastic for Green Bay, but the George Pickens trade was unbelievable.
He added Clowney, who has made a difference, and they look different with Quinnen Williams. Jerry Jones doing a pretty good job with the personnel.
They could totally win the division.
They fixed their defense is what they did. That was a word through the first half.
They were trading Micah is watching. Yes, for the first half of the season, they were terrible at defense.
Go look at those splits. Look at the numbers.
Their defense was on a pace to be truly terrible.
The Dolphins, all-time bad.
And Dallas now isn't quite good enough, though, because in the NFC, this is all crazy to say, right? The Bears atop the NFC. The Bears mauling Philadelphia to get to the top of the NFC.
The Bears having a better record than the rams when you were all questioning the bears and their eight and three going into that game for the bears to be at the top of the nfc and for the 49ers to be at the bottom at nine and four
That's an insanity. Like, what's happening over there? You're talking playoffs.
Yeah,
I'm talking about the bottom of the playoffs.
I'm talking about that 9-4 barely gets you in and knocks out Dallas in its current form and the Lions in the current form because the conference is too good. Like
the conference is too good because no one should understand how the 49ers are 9-4.
Well, Cowboys at Lions, like we said, on Thursday, and then after the results of that, Zaz, I mean, the Cowboys have Minnesota at home after that.
They'll get the Chargers at home after that. W.
At the Commanders. W.
And then they finish the year at the New York Football Giants.
That's a 10-year-old. That's four W's.
That's four W. 45-1.
So you see them beating Detroit on Thursday. In Detroit.
Oh, you didn't give me Detroit. Detroit was where we started.
No, L there. L.
Okay, but anyways, big game or not a big game. So big game or not.
Cowboys and Lions. Cowboys, Lions.
I just told you, I think the Cowboys are going to win the NFC East.
The Lions are fighting for their playoff lives. Dak Prescott, Jagoff, that's a big game.
Big game.
That's a big game.
I'll confront. That's a big game.
For the bottom of the conference playoffs while four and eight Bengals are still in it.
You know what?
We need to check in with the Committee of Things That are done to just because our show wants them acc letting them in no just let let's pick the best teams from the nfc and let's let the afc sit it out this year let's just take the no joe burrow
maybe joe burrow we'll let him in play in a few of the games mahomes we let in mahomes josh allen But no Drake May or Bonish. Just change.
I mean, it's already crumbling. We invoke three names.
Let's do an NFL committee. It took the first three names, all of them presently out for Dan to be like, okay, probably bad idea.
But maybe four AFC teams.
No, I think the Dallas Cowboys are someone everyone would enjoy seeing
playoffs now in this form. Why don't we just leave our hats at the door and make a 12-team playoff?
Best 12 teams. Holly, my hat at the door with you.
Is it best or most deserving? Do we count head to head? While we're cleaning stuff up, if you wanted to see what I would look like in that speed-o,
I don't. Didn't you want to do a beauty pageant? Didn't you want to do a beauty pageant where all the college football teams were allowed to stand in front of everybody?
You guys mocked me for arguments.
You mocked me for saying the ACC commissioner should just come out and say it's virginia miami that's who's playing man i'm packing some heat i think when there's a tie all the two how many two-lost teams in the acc are there four and you're talking about your dick there's not sure that's heat power
there's four two-lost teams all right they're in the final let's see you stud all the other acc teams
vote like a beauty pageant which two should deserve to go no one's listening to me it's fine i'm sorry we were all looking at daniel craig's dick yeah that is what was happening and then imagining me in that and then mike ryan threw it why did i get the smallest pack yeah mine looks bigger than Chris's yeah okay great
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