Hour 1: Jonathan Zas-ho

41m
"Do the right thing!"

There's an epidemic of people in sports calling other people a 'ho.' Roy is despondent over a loss from 25 years ago, and it's time to examine how much more credit Mike Ryan deserves than actual Canes players if UM makes the Playoffs. Plus, Zas doesn't understand weather, and Chris implores the ACC commissioner to change the rules for his benefit.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Press play and read along

Runtime: 41m

Transcript

Are you coming off a losing fantasy week? That means you're one week closer to losing your league and that's pretty stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding.

Dentech's mouth guards help with nighttime teeth grinding. Dentech wants to prevent teeth grinding while raising the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment.

If you want your league's last-place finisher to live in infamy at the 2026 Football All-Star Game, sign up for the ultimate fantasy football punishment at dentech.com/slash slash ultimate punishment.

No purchase necessary. Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S.
states and DC who are 21 years of age or older. Contest ends on December 8th, 2025.
Voidwear prohibited.

For details and official rules, visit dentech.com slash ultimate punishment.

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.
Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.
Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like Cuervo, I think it could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Cuervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.
Cuervo. Cuervo.
The tequila that invented tequila.

Brooksimo, Cuervo.com, please read responsibly. Cuervo.

Trust. It's not just given.
It's earned. Earned in the early mornings, in the late nights.
Earned by generations of real California dairy families who care and carried on by even the littlest ones.

Care for their cows, for their land, for their community, and care for you. Because when 99% of our dairy farms are family-owned, you're getting generations of tradition you can trust.

Real California milk. Look for the seal.
This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

I believe the second most

viewed World Cup adjacent broadcast, it's what's going to happen on Friday when we do the World Cup draw. Mouthful.

That global audience is incredible and it's going to lay out the groups for you and you're all of a sudden going to see which matches are going to be played where, who's got the group of death, all that stuff is going to matter.

So why don't you take the guesswork out of buying soccer tickets with GameTime? Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply.

Again, create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go, go download the GameTime app today.

There are a great many things that I want to get to in college football and pro football. The lame kiffin stuff is the juiciest.

We have not even gotten to the portion of this that allows us in 2025 to wonder whether

it's okay to ever call somebody a hoe.

Like we've got a hoe down, a hoe off between a couple of different stories in sports because Jawan Jennings is getting the reputation you do not want to have around the league where these paid professionals are like, this person is behaving on a football field in a way that's we're all here professional adults.

And he's behaving like a hoe. And

bringing back hoe in 2025 was not something that I thought I'd appreciate in sports. It hits, right? Well, we've got, we've got two hoe stories.
There are two of them.

Because how do you arrive if you're Jawan Jennings on the reputation of last week somebody got suspended for hitting me in the junk with his cast suspended for a year with what was clearly criminal behavior but now we know there's a fool out there running around talking crazy if you would have told me back then like obviously it looked really bad that dude got punched in the junk all right but if you had told me it's because he's a hoe we'd be like oh Now it makes sense why the ball football was so far away from the punch.

Right. Well, but let's let's check in here with Shelby Harris, okay? And it's just delightful here, right? You think of what you're watching on Sunday, and it seems, yes, that's terribly violent.

And then there's just a friendly man named Shelby who will tear your head off on weekends, and he doesn't like the way that man is playing football. He's a hoe, and I want that known.

Like, I see why he got punched in the nuts, because that's some, like, he says some things that you should not say to another man ever, but, like, I don't respect it, because you say that didn't run behind your O-line.

That's some real soft shit, and I want that known. I see exactly why they punched in the nuts.
I'm surprised nobody punched him in the jaw yet. It is now known.
Okay, it is now known.

Now, now Well, but this is the part of this story that I like. I've told you guys this before.
There was a rumble somewhere on the sideline, and all the 49ers run behind Trent Williams.

Everyone in that league knows, including Miles Garrett.

Miles Garrett, you were lucky to get close to that quarterback yesterday because Trent Williams still rules that sport with a documentary out called Silverback, I believe. Like,

that man, everyone is afraid of that man in that sport. And of course, Juwan Jennings, if he were to behave like a hoe, would hide behind Trent Williams.
We all would. He's a hoe.
Faux show.

So, what is the lame kiffin sound that we have? Because that is a real documentary from 2021. Risky.
That's one of those that you have to be sure of. Thank you, Dan.
I was very scared as I did it.

I'm glad you did, though. Shows that you're still with it and sharp and not afraid of consequences whatsoever.
I was. You know what? My guy does not play it safe.
As I was.

You will trot out Silverback when he's got 70% confidence on it, thinking that that's okay. I shouldn't have done that.
100%. Yes, bad judgment by me.
Thankfully, I got that right.

I was surprised that everything there existed.

Look, this man. That's how close it was, Dan.
Could have been over there. That man's story is amazing.
I believe they had to cut open his skull. He is stronger than everyone else in the sport.

I was impressed by just Miles Garrett not being able to do anything with that yesterday. Miles Garrett essentially backed up the hoe comments too yesterday.

Like, he was a lot classier the way he said it. It was a hoe sign.
Yeah. He's a hoe.

Oh, show.

Okay.

Can we get to the Lane Tiffin sound or is it backstory? Okay, do we have... so what is the backstory here?

This is a Mississippi podcaster that Lane is confronting because the podcaster, and forgive me, I do not know this person's name. What is this person's story? It's somebody protecting something.

Protecting the righteous identity of Mississippi, not happy with how Lane Kiffin is behaving. So he has made some sort of comparison.
This is what happens when you marry, you marry the...

You can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Because a hoe don't know how to act.
Ben Garrett. So Ben Garrett, thank you.

We'll assign you can't turn a hoe into a housewife to you because he has a hoe don't know how to act lane kiffen thank you zaslow ever supportive and here's a hoe here is um here's lane kiffen saying i will not i'm not down for your hoe

we want to walk in here and call me a hoe the rare outside interaction where the guy's like do you want to come inside He's a hoe. Why don't we go inside? Yeah, usually let's take this.
You'll

usually want to go inside. Hey, let's take this inside.
See how that works out. Outside is where he'll steal your kids.
He's a hoe.

I can't believe that Lane Gibbon is the most gangster person in the sport. Let's go inside.
Let's go. Let's take this inside.
You want to take this inside? He's a hoe. Outside, I'll steal your kids.

Outside the building, I'll steal your kids. Inside your

building, I'll beat you so hard you won't have kids. He's a hoe.
So multiple hoe allegations this weekend. Yeah, and I saw our guy from Ole Miss, the podcaster, the journalist.
He's a hoe.

I saw his... No, no, no.
He's a hoe. No.

No one's calling Ben Garrett. Is someone calling Ben Garrett the hoe? He's a hoe.
Look, everything's on the table right now. Yeah, he's not backing off, Chris Cody.

So I actually saw like a video clip from the content that he was putting out this week, and he doubled down

on the hoe stuff, making his point and playing hoes in different area codes to support him.

You know about them hoes in different area codes?

I'm not comfortable with the part of your personality that been unleashed in here. A little more comfortable than I'd like.
Perhaps you do the radio edit version where you say pros.

Also, over the weekend, evidently, the Jags punter threatened to kill somebody.

That's a thing that happened this weekend.

We have a Titans running back here reacting to the threat.

Poor Titans, the only team not playing in a close game in the one o'clock window. The Titans just getting dragged by a Jacksonville team.
That may or may not be good. I don't know.

Seems like the AFC is kind of flawed in every way. So any of them can come out of there.
But evidently, Jacksonville's punter is crazy because he was talking about trying to kill a dude.

I don't really know why the punter did that. You know, honestly,

I was just trying to play hard and he came up to me, said he was going to kill me, you know. So I don't know what made him do that.

I mean, just things kind of temper, maybe tempers flared from that moment, you thought? I mean, just how did the frustrations of the game kind of boil into that moment, you think?

I don't think it was any frustration.

I think it was just us playing hard and me and the other guy was just playing hard and I think he just wanted something to say. Honestly, I have no idea.
Might have been a couple players before

and I made a block on him. Maybe.
I don't know what made him want to do that.

Yeah, that was surprising to me. I ain't never seen nothing like it.

I don't know why it's so funny to me. Well, it's because he's

funny because he's charmingly befuddled.

Like, we're asking

a kind

human being being who does a very violent thing for a living. We're talking to him about like, what happened out there with the punter? He's like, I don't know.
That guy was getting crazy.

He threatened to kill me. I don't know why he threatened to kill me.
Dan, he was just playing hard and then someone wanted to kill him.

We have a picture of the punter.

He looks like a murderer, doesn't he? Well, does he? Yeah, I guess. Fits a profile.
White.

Roy, earlier in the show, I have been told, okay, I have been told, there's a number of different things in football that I want to get to, including, I want to ask the question seriously by poll.

Does Aaron Rodgers look like someone in a survivor movie, like toward the end of it, where he's being hunted by other humans, like through the jungle?

Because I've got to think after 11 or 12 games, he's looking up and being like, why am I doing any of this? What's the point of anything?

And he's blaming his receivers, which gets to be the top headline yesterday somehow over that football day where everybody's broken, okay?

These guys are going to suffer through the holidays. Herbert's out there playing with one hand.

Aaron Rodgers can't.

Aaron Rodgers and Justin Herbert can't sneak because they can't really take a snap under sender.

They've got a shotgun it where the margins for the supporter are so small that Jacksonville yesterday, did you see how they were struggling? Because

the long snapper being hurt sort of affects your entire weekend. No one thinks about this.
The long snapper, all of a sudden you're throwing flutter balls back there. They'll get blocked.

So the long snapper getting hurt basically takes out three position players where your holder, your kicker, and your long snapper, you can't trust them. And Jacksonville's got one of the best ones.

The margins are this big. And Aaron Rodgers, after a woeful offensive performance, where he's got a 311-pound tight end, that George locker room had some athletes in it, huh?

Worfs caught a pass yesterday, and he's 6'5 ⁇ , 320, and everyone's celebrating. And I'm like, Pittsburgh's got a tight end that's the same size.
Like, what are we celebrating?

Worf's as a fat guy touchdown. 320 pounds isn't fat anymore in that sport.
That was back when the SEC was actually the SEC. That used to be the fridge's weight.

Like, the fridge was a novelty at like 330, and now we've got a 311-pound tight end running

through the secondary. But

where the football resides over the weekend, a lot of bad football. The best football was the holiday football professionally, where the four dogs win, and it's just total chaos in the NFL.

where San Francisco is eking into the playoffs at 9-4. You know Dallas is better than most of the teams in that sport.
They've actually fixed some things defensively.

You know that Dallas is better than most of what you're seeing in the AFC. But somebody in the NFC is going to get left out, a Lions that you know would

ransack a Patriots team that doesn't have its tackles. Like, you think the Patriots are going to survive not having their tackles the way that Josh Allen can? Because I don't.

We'll see if Drake May is what we've been told he is, but this is pretty, because he's mobile, but this one's pretty hard here. You've got, he's out, two tackles, and this is the pass rush.

This is one of those games.

Wouldn't you have liked to have had the four-team parlay that over the holidays Thursday and Friday just bet all the dogs just bet all the dogs the Packers against the Lions Dallas ask if I wish I had a parlay with multiple teams in one I think I hear what Dan's saying the answer is NFL should go to the college system where we just decide who's good Lose your tackles.

That's it. No more Drake May doesn't matter that you're 10-2

Just like James Madison. We agree Dan.
It'd be funnier if we did it that way and oh would it or would it be chaos?

Well, it's already chaos though you think a sport that that actually has a tiebreaker that's head-to-head has it right? You fools.

We are laughing, are we not, at the fact that the four and eight Bengals are in the mix? Oh, I need to make an announcement, by the way. Carolina Panthers, season's over.
Whoa. Yeah.
After that win.

Yeah. You've seen everything that you need to.
Yep, season's over for the Carolina Panthers. They could host a playoff game.

Season's over. That's crazy.
You just said it was over. That game yesterday.

So Stafford hadn't thrown, he'd thrown two picks all season. He threw two in the first quarter.
He made the bonehead plays he never makes. He fumbled as well.

Three times, the Rams looked incompetent because Matthew Stafford was on a streak unlike any we've ever seen from a quarterback before. 28 straight touchdowns without an interception.

I don't think he'd thrown an interception since what, week six? And then Adam Schefter tweeted that, and then he threw an interception the next drive. Happened a couple of times.

Happened to Hanson a couple of times on red zone. He said Brissette hasn't had a nick completion interception.
He said Folk's the best kicker in the league. Missed field goal.
Boom.

both times happened to handle Nick Folk. That guy, he's just on the sideline with his helmet, it just looks like he needs a cigarette.
Well, but so does Brock Bowers.

Put her on the poll at Lebatard show. Brock Bowers, uh, greatest tight end you've ever seen or 50-year-old plumber.
He needs to go bold, he needs to. Brock Bowers.
You just been on that a while.

No, he needs. I mean, Brock, come on, you're a dominant athletic beast.
You cannot look like a 50-year-old plumber. You look older than Terry Bradshaw.
Put her on the poll.

Does Brock Bowers look older than Terry Bradshaw? Good tight end room at Georgia. I mean, that's why Washington wasn't playing as much.
Decent tight end room at Washington or at

with Washington in Georgia. Roy, there's the sound.
Thank you for doing that. Thank you for bringing me back to that sound.
That sound is Roy disgusted.

This is the most disgusted I've heard Roy about sports in 20 years.

That was Roy earlier. It was in the show and that happened 25 years ago.
It was the righteous rate. Yes, this part of Roy has been dead inside.

As you've heard him in 20 years for a story that happened 25 years ago. That's right.

It's so infurious. Is he saying nah, or it's just like, ugh? No, he's just mad that Miami, what's happening to Miami is the same thing.
He sees history repeat itself. Nah.
Yeah. Exactly right.

The story that he's talking about got everybody so mad that we're like, we're not doing computers anymore because we need to value head-to-head.

And here we are 25 years later.

Roy, Roy, this has happened to you.

You care about hockey this way, but I think your two most heartbroken, most feeling sports places are

anything hockey related and the University of Miami being betrayed and wronged in a way that is clear and awful and obvious to everyone. No, absolutely.
The BCS,

the lost Ohio State.

It's just ridiculous, man. I'm devastated again.
Finally hitting you, huh? Yes. No.

I wanted to talk about. 25 years ago, Roy's like, I need time to process this.

And he took 25 years.

And he's finally ready to share his thoughts.

Man,

my head was down. I was sulking the entire night after the.

Yeah, I was. I was sulking the entire night after the Ohio State Live.
I don't believe it. Hard to envision.
Hold on.

You weren't sulking. Just to be clear.
Just to be clear, lest it's...

anyone is under confusions right now what's happening with betting odds the way the schedule is played out it's very possible that the University of Miami has played its last game this season, correct?

They'll get a bowl. Half bowling.

We'll get the best of the best unimportant bowl. Don't sleep on the tax slayer bowl, man.
I went to that Pop-Tart bowl last year.

You reject it, right, Mike, if you don't get in? No, I ain't going to your bowl. No, thanks.
I don't like the Pop-Tart bowl because we're a joke there. But if it's, guys.

If it's the Cheese at Citrus bowl. Oh, shit.
That's a horse of a different color. And the Pop-Tart, he jumps into like the toaster, and then he comes out, and they eat it.

Yeah, there's six of them this year. It's a wacky change of face.

I am not prepared for the last two seasons of University of Miami football to have today in it the finality of, oh, so everyone's going to be in agreement then that Miami has played its last game because the arguing is over and the propaganda and the Mario Cristobal interviews are largely over.

And so the season is over.

We have just begun to fight. But with that being said, I want to drift off to the background.
Mario Crisobal's got it from here. You remember when Colin Cowherd told LeBron, we're good.

We're doing what he says. We're good.

We don't, thanks. We got Ben Simmons here.
That's something that Colin Cowherd said. LeBron, I'm fine.
That's how you can view me with this whole like campaigning thing. Now Mario Crisobal is here.

Now Dan Lebetard is here. Now Jeremy Tashay is arguing against us and it actually helps our case.
It's a different week. Folks, listen up.
You know my holiday pattern by now.

Every single year I tell myself, listen, Chris, you're going to be thoughtful this year. You're going to get good gifts.
You're not going to be lazy. You're not just going to get gift cards.

And this year, guys, I have news. I pulled it off.
No panic. No sad little card.
You know what I gave? I gave an aura frame. Like, why is it so hard to find a personal gift these days?

It's for the people I'm closest to. My parents, my wife, my in-laws, my kid, the most important people in my world.
I have no idea what I'm supposed to get them as a gift.

But one thing I know, people light up when they get photos. People love photos.
So I loaded up my aura frame with all the moments I know they'll love.

My daughter being adorable, random selfies, group pictures where none of us are looking in the same direction.

I kept adding them because Aura lets you send unlimited photos and videos right from your phone anytime. And the best part, you can preload the thing before it even ships.

So when it's open on Christmas morning, all the memories are already there. I'm telling you guys, this is a great gift.

And folks, for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver matte frames, named number one by Wirecutter, by using promo code DLB.

This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now and get it in time for the holidays.
Support the show by mentioning us a checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

This time of year, it's a lot. Lights, noise, pumpkin spice, it's everywhere.
But one feeling that we are all still chasing is coziness.

And Bumbus has the socks, slippers, and tees, basically everything to get you there.

There's something oddly therapeutic about a fresh pair of socks, and Bumbus knows that feeling and builds it into everything they make.

Slippers you can melt into, tees that feel just right comfort that holds up wash after wash and gifting bumpers makes that easy too your wife your kid your kid's girlfriend your neighbor's newborn your mom's new friend yeah they got socks for them all they're even stepping up the footwear game new colors new styles fluffy things suede things if you got feet they've got something for you and the best part every pair you buy bumpers donates one to someone experiencing homelessness cozy for you cozy for someone else i wear bumpers.

I got myself three pairs of underwear from bombers and they don't ride up, they don't bunch, they are very comfortable, very soft, and enjoyable to wear. It's cozy season.
It's bumpers season.

Head over to bombers.com slash Dan and use code Dan for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash D-A-N and use code D-A-N at checkout.

All right, look, it's the holidays again and people are running around and getting stressed out and they're asking me, Roy, what should I get? What should I do? Do some recipes.

And every year I tell them the same exact thing. Get meat.
It's not that hard. It's not that complicated.
It's meat.

And Omaha Steaks, they deliver the world's best steak experience, USDA certified Tinder Steaks. It tastes like someone actually cares about you.
Burgers, steaks, comfort meals.

All that stuff makes you go, mm-hmm, that'll work. And now during the cyber sale, you can get 50% off site-wide and an extra 20% off select favorites at omahasteaks.com.

Plus, our listeners get an extra $35 off with promo Dan at checkout. I've had Omaha steaks many times.
I've given them out too. People lose their minds.

You hand them that box and suddenly they think you're the greatest human alive. Five generations, same family, 100% guaranteed.
Save big on unforgettable gifts with Omaha Steaks.

Visit omahasteaks.com for 50% off site-wide and an extra 20% off select favorites during the cyber sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code DAN at checkout.

That's omahasteaks.com promo code code D-A-N at checkout. Turns apply, see site for details.

Don Lebatard. John's as low.

How you love that catch phrase?

Bad news for

opposing teams in the triple lane.

Stugats. These are smiles.

Till the blondes are clutch again.

clutch again

clutch again

This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats

Mike I have a legitimate question for you do you think and take me seriously head-to-head is always the number one criteria for anything he speaks for me that you deserve more credit if Miami makes the playoff than maybe their backup corner.

I heard him.

I heard him push Chuckle and Lou Riddick into a whole new dimension. I didn't answer my question.

But we all heard that happen the same way, did we not? Head to head.

Did we all not hear Washus and Riddick had 20 minutes to fill and they were going to fill it with UM propaganda? I mean, so David,

I'll go with the take that they just reacted to the game they saw. Miami looked a lot better this week than they did last week.

Chuckle f ⁇ and Lou Riddick have some pride. Where's your spot?

Oh, they want us to talk good about Miami. We're going to do that.
They were doing five minutes of pro-Miami talk that Miami would have liked to them.

If Miami had scripted what those guys could say at the end of the game, that's what it would have sounded like. But it wouldn't have made sense a week ago because they were up 10 late.

But Chris, what I'm saying to you is, when Mike yells at Chuckle saying, where was this last week, you guys weren't talking honestly on the air about

Miami being wronged on a national broadcast. Correct me.
You heard it, right, Saz? You heard it?

No. No, I did not.
I heard it. I was listening.
Okay, because if I had wanted to write that and say, can you Washus and Riddick, please do this on behalf of Miami?

That's how I would have written their conversation. So don't say they didn't change their tone.
It totally changed. But I'm giving the team and how they performed on Saturday credit for that change.

You can give it to Mike. It's Mike's credit that he's due.
I think they're reacting to what they're seeing. To answer your question, we lost OJ Frederick and PFF's best college corner in the nation.

So someone give me a piece. We got a bunch of group where they were healthy.
And we got that. Bryce Fitzgerald, a freshman, by the way.

Head-to-head matters. Bryce Fitzgerald stepped up admirably.
The backup corners, Jeremy. Who's the backup quarterback? You deserve more credit.
I think it's Malachi Tony now.

So you deserve more credit. Can I talk about him just for one more second, okay?

Because I'm used to, I'm not, I don't have a lot of experience with a freshman arriving and then me saying, well, hold on a second.

So the rules are going to make him a Heisman candidate for three years because everyone sees that he's a special talent? Malaki.

Not special talent.

I am saying, Zaz, and I don't think this is prisoner of the moment, I'm going to say unprecedented talent in the history of Miami, given Miami football, given the age and the range of, he'll throw passes, he'll run reverses, he'll make the one-handed spectacular catch.

We saw two of those in football yesterday, okay? Bowers and Puka both made catches yesterday, both of them.

Bowers and Puka Nakua both made catches yesterday that are among the best you've ever seen in your life from an athlete. It's the elusiveness for me.
He just doesn't get tackled.

It takes like three guys. He's a small guy.
He breaks tackles. That's the part that stands out the most about me.
So

to the eye test, this person is a legitimate star in a Heisman race that is crowded and he's getting his name out there earlier.

But I don't think I'm overreacting when I say a school that has produces a great many playmakers has never had one that has this kind of range and certainly not with this kind kind of youth.

I think he's the most instinctual football player on offense that we've had since Santana Moss.

He doesn't do it with straight line speed, though he's going to get faster the more time he spends in college. His dad had track speed.
He's going to improve his quickness somehow.

He is especially quick. But when he gets into the open field, he doesn't have Santana's speed, but he's got his vision.
He takes angles and makes guys look foolish. He's such a great football player.

And it's not just him with the ball in his hands, the block that he had to spring Carson back on a run. He's just such a great football player.

I don't know whether you guys, it still means anything to you with the national broadcast being as fractured as they are, but to me, it still means something when Lou Riddick is the one saying Malachi Tony is one of the best, one of the very best.

It's not just a broadcaster saying this is among the best pass rushers at his position.

Like, he knows what he's watching there, and it's going to be great in college football for the next three years if he does not get hurt.

He plays, it's a special football player, and I'd like him to continue watching him play games.

The thing that I don't want to go any more days without noting, because where all of the controversy resides around gambling and what's real and who's bought and what players are in on it, and what referees are in on it, and I'm not going to think about the rigging of games, how felonious that is, and how many people would be in trouble if the games themselves didn't always keep their integrity.

One of the great evolutions in sports in my lifetime inventions of any kind is the replay command center center giving you a game day operation center where you can hear how the referees are talking about things.

Love that.

Oh no, but the access is so unbelievable that I believe they've changed how it is that you can believe in sports because even if they get it wrong, you're like, oh, I see how they came by the decision.

They've offered me full transparency on how they're discussing it. And so I'm good.

I'm slightly less outraged than I would have been because it's in plain sight now. I want to know what it sounded like before they knew they were being recorded, you know?

Because it's so professional now. Everyone good? Everyone have a good, like before it was probably.
They know they're being

aware of it. I don't give a kick, you know.
Like, I imagine it was so chaotic, and now they're like, hey, we got to keep this clean.

I was in the Concourse and they were playing the pit broadcast during the sideline catchup. Clearly wasn't a catch.
In fact, everyone on the instant replay agreed, we don't really see the catch here.

So call upheld, catch. The pit broadcasters were laughing at how bad that call was.

All right, first down, pit. Well, they reversed.
The way they talked about it at the beginning was totally different about how they talk about it at the end. Like they reversed course.

Did you see the call that they had was

the result of the play is a touchdown. Miami pulled the player into the end zone.
They lined up and the pit broadcasters were like, wow, this is a weird place for Miami to go for two. And

everyone, the score was reflected a touchdown. They said, result of the field is, result of the play is a touchdown.
And then they lined up for another play, and then Miami just scored another.

But it was just bonkers. That's the same referee, by the way, from the SMU game.
Wait a minute. That was a PS that was.

No, it's necessary because Miami has two losses because one of them was handed to them by the officials.

There were multiple missed calls, including the vaunted Lightfoot roughing the passer that came on a fourth down down that essentially turned a win into a loss. Miami had a game stolen.
So did we?

Just like OU stole a game with the referee's help against Auburn. Context that should matter for whoever wants to cape up and fight this good fight.
Again, I lay my sword down.

Luca Gilbert. Tight end has two catches for 37 yards.
Do you deserve more credit for Miami making the playoff if they do than Luca Gilbert?

Luca Gilbert made one of the best catches I've ever seen at Green Tree. That guy's got to be a player.
What about Luke Nicol, backup quarterback? Scout team stuff. That's important.

Can I ask how everybody here felt about the way that they started the broadcast of UM and Pitt with the quote from Mario Cristobal as he prowled up and down the sidelines, possibly not making the playoffs again.

There is no such thing as bad weather, just soft people. I like it.

I mean, that's an asinine thing to say. No.
I saw so much bad weather last weekend, and it's not because I'm soft, though I am. No, if you can't handle the weather, you're soft.

You're going to say this? You couldn't handle the weather this weekend. Do we have photographic proof of Zaslow and how he doesn't know how to dress like an adult?

It's not merely that Mike Ryan accuses him credibly of not being an insider, even though Zaszlo wins that argument. Zaslow did not have Chris.
Did you see any of this?

Zaszlo continues to not be able to dress like an adult. I mean, this actually looks better than last week.

No one gave you that jacket. Dan, yeah, well, okay, so that jacket does not fit me.

That's as far as it goes. I'm wearing a small right there.
Me, Ambers is actually bigger than me. We both needed those jackets.
Luckily, he had them on hand. I was freezing.

I was not dressed right now. All right, your hands look so cold.
I don't understand. Can any of you in the room please walk me through what seems to be real toddler behavior?

Again, I will say, Zaszlo is not in his first year with this traveling outfit. He knows that college football cities and campuses and places off lakes get cold.
He's got a year of experience.

How am I supposed to know there's a lake? Zaszlo.

Zaslow was, you went to Madison, Wisconsin in late November, and I could have told you at any time in my lifetime, that's dangerously cold, but especially off a lake, you're going to get wind blowing that feels really unpleasant.

It's going to feel colder than 40, even if it's 40. You dressed poorly last week.
This week, and I was surprised this happened with Lucy.

It makes me wonder if she's got an ice in her bones from Iowa that I don't understand. She said Zaszlo would be fine in Norman, Oklahoma this time of year.

And I'm thinking to myself as a South Floridian. No, that's been a hellscape my entire lifetime during winter.

Like I would absolutely not want with the clothes that I have to ever go to Norman, Oklahoma for any reason when the wind starts blowing.

I told you last week in Madison, I was going to be fine because I control my own blood. Now this week in Norman, I will admit, Dan,

I was annoyed and embarrassed with myself. I can admit when I'm embarrassed.
Not everybody can admit that. I can admit when I'm embarrassed.

And it was so cold this weekend in Norman that I was embarrassed with myself that why can't I get on the same page with weather? Like,

what is my problem that I can't pack warm enough?

That I just, I'm not on the same page with you. At least you weren't weathering.
At least you weren't shamed a week ago about it. Again, he had a year to learn this.
It's a strange thing.

I did not go to Burlington. He had a year and a week where this burned him last week, but he didn't want to learn.

At no point during the week, it's like, you know what, let me open up the actual break. You want me to bring you a jacket?

Amber literally told me the day before there is a cold front coming into Norman Saturday afternoon. And what did I do about it, Dan?

Nothing.

It's breathtaking in its stupidity.

That's not necessary. Why did you? Jonathan Zazzho?

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holidays are coming up, which means traditions.

Some families have these beautiful, wholesome rituals, and then some of us are just trying to keep our family family from arguing over who ruined the stuffing last year.

But this time of year can also be a lot. It gets dark at 4.30, everyone's stressed, and suddenly the holidays go from magical to nightmare.

It's time to start some new traditions, ones that aren't chaotic. Therapy can be one of those new traditions, and BetterHelp makes it easy to fit into your life.

They've got over 30,000 licensed therapists. They've helped more than 5 million people, and they've been doing this for over 12 years.

Plus, they average a 4.9 rating for more than 1.7 million reviews, which is better consistency than any team I root for gives me during the holiday season.

You fill out a quick questionnaire, they match you with someone who fits your needs, and if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapist anytime.

This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com/slash DLB.
That's betterhelp.com/slash dlb.

Get nutty with Hampton Farm, the official peanut of bowl season, bringing you the ultimate game day snack.

There's nothing like the roar of the crowd, the thrill of the play, and the satisfying crack of fresh in-shell peanuts.

From the first kickoff to the final whistle, Hampton Farms Peanuts keeps your energy high and your taste buds happy. Join the celebration of college football with every delicious crunch.

Purchase for sharing with friends, tailgating outside the stadium, or cheering from the couch. Grab a bag from the produce aisle of your local grocery store and savor the game one peanut at a time.

You ever ever find yourself late night scrolling, adding stuff to your cart you absolutely don't need? And then you see the beautiful, glowing purple Shop Pay button. Boom! Check out, done.

You didn't even have to get up and find your wallet. That, my friends, is Shopify magic.

That little purple button means that store is powered by Shopify, which doesn't just make it easy to buy, but ridiculously easy to start and run your own business too.

Whether you're a giant like Mattel or Gymshark Gymshark or just launching something weird from your garage, like Greg Cody's garage, Shopify has your back.

Let's be real, if we can run a show with this much chaos, you can run a business with Shopify.

With hundreds of beautiful templates, tools for payments, inventory, analytics, marketing, it's all in one place. And yes, that purple button?

It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Shopify, it's how real businesses get built.
If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash Batard. Go to Shopify.com/slash Batard.
Shopify.com/slash Batard

Don Lebatard. I've never stepped foot on that campus.
If you told me right now your life depends on it, go to Santa Fe University and just

take a picture. Stugats.
I would die. I don't know where it is.
This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

So, are we using ho this much because it's Christmas season? Ho, ho, ho.

That's all that we're celebrating in the ho and holidays. It's always the first word in holidays.
Can you please, though, give to the audience any semblance of understanding?

Like,

I don't think there are a lot of worse feelings than feeling cold.

I live where I live because the feeling of cold to me is something that windy cold specifically.

So look,

I may be one of, I must be one of these soft people Mario Cristobal speaks to. For sure you are.

But there is. If you're asking that question, I can confirm.
There is bad weather. I will not be told there's not bad weather.
I don't care what kind of meathead he is.

Don't tell me there's not bad weather in Norman, Oklahoma. There's bad weather there all the time.

I don't think he's using the cold weather thing as a criteria to determine whether or not you are soft.

All I had there in norman all i had brought with me i had a zip-up jacket and underneath it i was wearing a miami heat shirt that's what i had i think i think he was looking at your full resume body of work that's fine he can say that if he wants there's still bad weather and and if he and if he has any kind of objection we can take it inside Because it's where I prefer because there's, you know, a log cabin or some warmth, some heaters that I need.

If Mario Cristobal has any sort of objection to what I'm saying, that there is indeed bad weather, I disagree with him.

And there are also soft people, and I may be among them, but that's not an either-or. Show some nuance, Caveman.

Or we can take it inside.

I'll take it inside if you want to take it inside. Jordan Lyle, three carries for 22 yards this season.
Mike Ryan, did you deserve more credit for Miami's success if they make the playoff?

He got hurt early. Didn't do much with his opportunities.
You could argue. He prevented Miami from seeing what they had in Pringle.
Okay. But his fall camp was too good.
Iron sharpens iron.

So do you think you've seen your last football game of the season of consequence? You believe with stakes on it? You believe that this. I would like to win a bowl game.

I would like to understand what happened.

Have you resigned yourself to, I'm not going to argue my way in. I'm going to lose.
Miami's going to get shut out. Miami's a betting favorite to be shut out of these playoffs.

You'd get eight to one odds right now on Miami getting into the playoffs, no matter what happens from here. What's happening with Miami is the most obvious thing in the world.
This is obviously wrong.

Head-to-head should matter. There is a team that is bunched up closely with Miami.
They have the same record as Miami. Miami beat them.

Also, Miami is a common opponent argument over anybody they are also grouped with. Not JMU.

You have to look at this matter of factly. Are you okay with this? And a lot of people are okay with it, but I'm really hoping logic and reason really ascend here over the next week of dialogue.

I don't have to fight that much.

I feel like I have one of the best teams in the nation playing its very best football right now at 4-0 after that embarrassing defeat handed down by the officials in that SMU game.

I like Miami's hand here. I think it's the most obvious thing in the world.
They're a playoff team, and I think other people need to get with the program.

I think the Canes are going to jump to 11 tomorrow night, which of course is not good enough. I think they're going to jump to 11.

So is there anything that can happen between tomorrow night and Sunday when the final rankings come out that could help the Canes get to 10?

If Miami does indeed go to 11, like you're saying, then you look at number 10. You have

Miami, then Alabama ahead of them, then Notre Dame. Does the committee guard against Alabama losing in the SEC title game again by moving them ahead of Notre Dame?

Because if that's what happens, you have Notre Dame and Miami grouped right here. Okay, so that's head-to-head once again.
So that's what we want then is for Alabama to win.

You want the optics of Miami right there with Notre Dame and the committee and Eurochech telling you we think Notre Dame, even though they have the same exact record and got fat on bad teams.

By the way, you want to talk common opponents? Miami beat three of the four common opponents worse than Notre Dame did. You have all those arguments working in your way.

I got to feel in my heart of hearts. It's, you can't do that.
If the team below beat the team directly ahead of them, you can't hold out that team. You can't.

Does the ACC commissioner, and I say this half jokingly, but half serious, does the ACC commissioner have the ability just to say, you know what?

Duke's not in the championship game. Miami is.

I just, they deserve to, like, I don't care about what tiebreakers we've said in the past, I'm the commissioner of this conference and Miami deserve, like, I'm half kidding, but like, that would make, that would clear this all up.

Then they would have an ACC championship game to play in.

No, I'm not. It's just, it just makes sense.
Even Duke fans have to be like, we don't deserve to be in the chat. You feel good about these words coming out of your mouth?

I'm being half, like I said, half serious, half joking. If you're half serious, that means half of you are serious.

Except that if you say you're half serious, half of you are serious. If the ACC.
You're saying, never mind about playing the schedule, never mind. I'm the commissioner.
I rule as Lord.

Never mind these stupid tiebreakers that we thought made sense, but they clearly don't because Duke is in the game.

I'm with Mike Ryan and Chris Cody in making the following argument unemotionally and without bias. Who would argue with that?

I believe the commissioner should indeed have the power to choose what we think is right.

I think that the commissioner of the ACC

give this show the power of, look, guy, we know Manny Diaz would tell you

this is not how it should be. Mario's got the better players.
Nice win, Duke. Congratulations.
We push back on it against Wake Forest.

If it came out this morning, ACC commissioner says it's Virginia versus Miami. We don't care about the tiebreakers we said years ago.

Both Duke and Virginia.

All right, Virginia, actually. You know what? Virginia.
I even think

Duke

would be cool. Do you think Duke's like

we don't deserve to be in this game? This is stupid. Do you wish you said different words? No.
Like I said, half kidding, half serious. They earned their way.

If half of you is serious, then half of you is serious. They earned their way.
Who the hell? Yes. They haven't beaten anybody in the ACC.
Neither is Miami.

Hold on, let me think about that. No, but Notre Dame is a signature win.
Supposed to be a signature win. Stop the ACC.
That's right. Miami beat Virginia.

Miami beat Georgia Tech, which was, they were a better team. Miami did not play Virginia Tech.
Not the players.

Miami beat the team that beat Georgia Tech. Like I said,

back to this. Half kidding.
Miami beat the team that beat Virginia, even though that was an ACC game between two ACC teams that did not count for the ACC. Do the right thing, ACC Commissioner.

I do think that there is actually precedent for this. I think the Pig 10 has done this in the past, but

there's a flaw in what you're saying, and that's like Jim Phillips finding a spine.

That's not, this is exactly what he deserves.

Because he is spine.

Our show whimpering that the commissioner has no spine because he won't change.

Nobody would agree that Doobie deserves championship game.

I hear you. In a vacuum, that sounds bad, but I've been calling Jim Phillips spineless for several years.

Jeremy, you don't agree that Duke should be in the game of a wham. You know what? That does make it okay.
Mike's right. Based off of like a seventh-layered tiebreaker.

I think it's a lot of rules that have been there forever.

I've called him a cuck numerous years.

Is he a cuck?

You've reported that publicly. I don't think that's something you've said.
I have never said that on the errand. I won't.
What's his name, Mike? What's that guy's name? No. Jim Phillips.

Jim Phillips, look at me. Do the right thing.
You know Duke doesn't deserve to be in that game. Even Manny Diaz would agree with you.
Can I tell you what's funny?

If you go to the ACC standings on ESPN.com, Duke is still sixth in the ACCC. Exactly.
I don't know how they win. Stupid.
Half-serious. I don't know how they win a tiebreaker.
How are they sixth?

I don't know how to do it.

You feel good about those words? I look this up. It's the combined

in-conference record of the teams that they beat in the conference. But why don't they have them? That's an acronym for dumb.
Why don't they have them second then? They're sixth. That's a website.

That's the website. So dumb.

Maybe you do the right games. Do the right thing.
Are you more than half serial? I think everyone agrees. Are you more than half serious? I'm like 55% serious.

It is proof positive that conferences are too big, and it leads me to my solution for all of this, which is if we're going to go these huge conferences, you eliminate one of the regular season games, and you install a semifinal and a final to ensure that you do actually have the best teams and you mitigate what can happen in the conference right now.

Good idea. Let's just keep changing the rules.
No, no, no. This was just so we can get my answer.

Jeremy, I hear you. You don't agree that Jeremy should be there.
We're arguing about the 12th best team in the country. Please, please, please.
I'm trying to make a point that I've made for years.

I've called Jim Phillips fineless for years, and I've also said, I never said that publicly and I never will.

And I've also said for years, if we're going to expand to conferences this large, they need to hold off one block of the regular season, make that a semifinal, and you match up everyone else in the standings that it's reflective of where they are presently, and you sort that out on the field because Mario Cristobal told you earlier.

Head to head. You can't be out here calling someone a cuck.
You can't do that. I didn't.
You can't do that. Stop saying that I did that.
I never did. Head to head is always.

Head to head is always. You can't also, Chris, be out here with I'm 50% serious.
I'm half serious. You're a little more than 55% serious, aren't you? I think he should do the right thing.

This is not my channel. Change all the rules.
Okay, I'm going to. No, just do what makes sense.

Nobody across the country. Like, I know Jeremy's doing a thing right now.
Nobody accepts it. I am not doing a thing.
I'm doing the right thing. He doesn't think Duke deserves to be in that.

I'm not with him, by the way. The two best ACC teams should be in the ACC show.
I'm not with him. Like, you could see this coming like a freight train.
The problem is a lack of foresight.

I'm glad we settled this. I'm glad we're all in agreement that

we should rewrite all the rules so that this show gets what it wants. Yes.

Yeah, I mean, that's not about me right now. This is about doing the right thing and the teams that deserve to be there.
Put JMU in. I've never seen Roy this way.

Like, settle down.

Now is a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented Tequila.
Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.
Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like Cuervo, I think it could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Cuervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.
Cuervo. Cuervo.
The tequila that invented tequila.

Brooksimo, Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. Cuervo.