The Big Suey: The Uber Ratings Reveal (feat. Lucy Rohden)

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Speaker 9 Welcome to the Big Sue,

Speaker 9 presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebatard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

Speaker 9 In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

Speaker 10 I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's prize that if they're just there.

Speaker 9 That hasn't happened to you guys.

Speaker 5 I've done it.

Speaker 9 And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Speaker 8 We back, and we are joined by the great Lucy Rodine. What's up, Luce?

Speaker 12 How are you? Hey, I'm sad I'm not there.

Speaker 5 I know. Last time.

Speaker 12 I'm so happy you're in Miami.

Speaker 8 It was so much fun.

Speaker 13 You never said that before, Lucy. I know.

Speaker 12 This is crazy.

Speaker 14 It's a great opportunity to play Look At Me, Lucy. What was it?

Speaker 5 That was a great opportunity, was it not?

Speaker 15 No. No.
No. Do you not know how...

Speaker 14 I know what the meaning of it is, but but still, I'm like, off of the last conversation that we had about look at me everything?

Speaker 13 No. She's got to brag about something.

Speaker 5 Yes. Can't force it.
He knows. Get off my mouth.

Speaker 5 I'll just talk to you.

Speaker 14 This is my first day, Lucy. Good to see you.
Hi, Lucy.

Speaker 12 Hi.

Speaker 8 Ah, you've been enjoying the tournament this year?

Speaker 5 The tournaments, I guess.

Speaker 8 Why the question mark?

Speaker 12 It's...

Speaker 12 I think we've gotten like decent basketball, and that's all you can want out of a tournament.

Speaker 12 But obviously, there's a little, there's a little like bummy vibe when you're like, oh, okay, here we are, all one seeds in the final four and no mid-majors in the sweet 16 or elite eight for the men.

Speaker 12 And you're just like, well, this is okay.

Speaker 8 So I had this argument earlier in the week about people talking about how they

Speaker 8 want

Speaker 8 the Cinderella. So what's the point? Why do you want the Cinderella? Is it because of the story? Or, oh man, Charlie's going to chime in.

Speaker 5 This is the worst take that shot. She's her trash.

Speaker 8 She's like trash.

Speaker 16 Oh, it's no fun when a Cinderella makes the final four. I just want to see absolute shock.
We're going to have one seeds blowing out two seeds in the elite because you guys are wrong.

Speaker 8 If you guys don't listen to the Dominique Fox show, you'll know that Charlie sets these traps for me where he

Speaker 8 completely mischaracterizes what I say and think that I'm just going to walk into it, but I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 14 So, Lucy, how are you, Lucy?

Speaker 8 So, the Cinderellas, what about the Cinderellas do you miss? I don't know.

Speaker 12 It's just fun.

Speaker 12 Like, we haven't really had, every year There's sort of a white boy of March where it's some mid-major school that has this like insane white guy who just shoots like crazy that the whole country falls in love with.

Speaker 12 He gets a NIL deal with Buffalo Wild Wings or a similar company. Then they lose in the Sweet 16 by a lot to a much better team.
And you're like, man, that was awesome.

Speaker 12 That made me feel something. I sat behind Doug Eater at the Duke game and I was like, I forgot how great this made me feel.

Speaker 12 Like, it's just like, oh, okay, we have to root for the guys that like, you have everything.

Speaker 5 Look at me, mercy. There it is.

Speaker 5 That works.

Speaker 14 Our problem is I can tell the future.

Speaker 14 And I knew the brag was coming.

Speaker 8 So I guess, Cooper Flag, when you say a white boy, you're not talking about actually a boy who's white.

Speaker 12 It can't be a white boy that we already know about. It has to be an unknown white boy.
A white boy that appeared out of nowhere. and it is.
Yeah, we knew about his flag.

Speaker 5 No, no, no, no, because I believe

Speaker 5 Duke.

Speaker 12 No. Can't go to Duke.

Speaker 15 His name can't be Cooper.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Because Cooper is the white Jalen. If a black athlete is named Jalen, you know he's good.
You know he's nice. You know he's the best on the team.

Speaker 14 And it's now the Cooper is the white guy version of that.

Speaker 5 So if it's a Cooper is the white man.

Speaker 12 That doesn't apply to the name. That's not what we want.

Speaker 8 Also, oh, speaking of which, when I was watching that last game, I had to look up Con Knipple just to check the middle name. I had to check the middle name.

Speaker 12 Do you know his siblings' names?

Speaker 15 No, they're like his.

Speaker 12 He's one of the themed families where all the siblings have a weird name that starts with K. So it's like Khan, Kane.

Speaker 12 I'm just making them up.

Speaker 5 I don't remember, but it's K.

Speaker 5 Is there three of them by any chance?

Speaker 5 They're all with K's.

Speaker 14 Is there three siblings total?

Speaker 12 I think there's five. I think they're like, we got to get these numbers off.

Speaker 8 So there was three at one point.

Speaker 5 There was three. Hold on.

Speaker 12 There was three at one point.

Speaker 16 His dad and uncles nice were a three-on-three basketball team the flying kinipples the flying kinipple brothers that's incredible that is good that rolls yeah chris you look surprised that i'm gonna have to vet press it here

Speaker 8 it might be crowdsourced i don't know no the flying flying kinipples yeah that was their nickname how'd you know it you said it before he did everybody knew about the flying kinipples they were one of the best teams

Speaker 14 urban legend in the three-on-three community.

Speaker 12 Everyone loves the Flying Knipples. And if you want to to go see them play,

Speaker 12 that's a great reason for a trip that you can book with Priceline. Are you dreaming about that trip? Book it and go to your happy price with Priceline to see the Flying Knipples.

Speaker 8 Way to sell, Lucy.

Speaker 12 Thank you.

Speaker 17 That's when you talk again.

Speaker 4 She did a thing, and now you go back to the talk.

Speaker 5 Do you want to explain the circle?

Speaker 14 So when she does that, she's done. Okay.
And then you come in with the continuation of the conversation.

Speaker 5 Wait, hang on, I can't.

Speaker 14 Versus kicking it back to her

Speaker 14 to double down on Priceline.

Speaker 13 According to sporting news, the Flying Knipple brothers were Con, Clint, Clay, and Cole, but his brothers are Kager, Kinston, Cash, and Kidman.

Speaker 5 This is stupid.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 14 What's stupid about it, Roy?

Speaker 5 It's just dumb. I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 No, it's dumb. The theme is stupid.
I'm sorry. We're not doing this.

Speaker 5 How do we feel?

Speaker 14 Too many K's.

Speaker 5 Way too many K's.

Speaker 14 Way too many K's.

Speaker 8 How do we feel generally about naming conventions for like like my brother Scott his name starts with a D so like is that okay if it's if it's two it's just me and him and both starts is that okay what about if it's just two what about I

Speaker 8 I'm I'm going into some scary territory right now because I know that Hawk has twins yeah yeah what about when you have twins

Speaker 8 And they had like rhyming names. Did you go rhyming names with twins?

Speaker 14 They don't rhyme.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 14 They are both AUs, Autumn and Aubrey.

Speaker 8 So it's

Speaker 8 I feel like with twins, though, I'll allow it.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 With twins, I'll allow it.

Speaker 8 Because they got here at the same time.

Speaker 5 Would you want me to come up with two names?

Speaker 14 Yeah, my son's name is also Austin. Is that a little much? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 Now we're reaching the quarter now.

Speaker 5 You're going for something. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And your name is

Speaker 5 Andrew.

Speaker 11 Yeah, and their mother's name.

Speaker 14 I didn't want to come out and say this, but I am a part of the Knipple family, basically.

Speaker 5 Oh, no.

Speaker 14 Because all of my siblings are A's and all of their kids are A's.

Speaker 5 Wow.

Speaker 14 And I can't even name them all because I would have to sit here and think about it. But it's Artrell, Alicia, Anika, Avery, Andrew, our kids are both.

Speaker 5 Do you do not breed Ax voice? Austin, Azare, Atalya, Aria, Aeneas, Ageana.

Speaker 5 That's impressive, man.

Speaker 14 And it goes on. And my, my,

Speaker 5 my mom's name is Aletha.

Speaker 14 My dad's name is Artrell. So it's literally like four generations of every A name you can imagine.

Speaker 4 It can only be in the DMX voice from up.

Speaker 8 Lucy, you have a brother, right?

Speaker 12 I do. Just one brother?

Speaker 11 Jack.

Speaker 12 I have a brother and a sister, Jack and Kate.

Speaker 14 Okay, so right down the middle there, Lucy.

Speaker 5 Lucy, Jack, Kate.

Speaker 12 And we're all four letters. Those are the.
My mom said our last name is so ugly.

Speaker 13 Okay. They're all going to go to Duke.

Speaker 5 Oh, everyone.

Speaker 5 Get used to them. Look at all those.

Speaker 12 They're the plum weeks now.

Speaker 8 The problem with making Con Knippo or trying to make him him the

Speaker 8 white boy of the tournament is not just that he goes to Duke, is that the white boy of the tournament has to go professional in something else. Like, Conka Nipple's going to play in the NBA.

Speaker 8 You cannot, he has to, you have to see him later in life in a polo and slacks and be like, that name sounds familiar. This guy tried to sell me some insurance.
Oh, yeah, you hit six threes in 1996.

Speaker 14 Yep, yep, I agree. You have to, yes, you have to go that NCAA commercial where it says most of the NCAA athletes will go professional in something else.
It has to fit that bucket.

Speaker 14 Otherwise, you're just another great white guy from college basketball that goes and plays in the NBA. It should be 15 years.
In something else.

Speaker 5 In something else. And just Peters out right there.

Speaker 4 It's something other than sports.

Speaker 5 In something else. In something else.
Give him some time. And not everybody knows in college.

Speaker 16 Remember, Jackie.

Speaker 5 Figure it out.

Speaker 13 He played in the G League.

Speaker 13 He's still in the G.

Speaker 5 He's in the G League now.

Speaker 13 He's averaging like three points a game.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Lucy, what am I to do with the SEC narrative, especially when 25% of the ACC teams made the final four on the men's side?

Speaker 8 Oh, gosh.

Speaker 12 There was someone at the Duke, Alabama game that was screaming behind us the whole time of like, you mighty SEC, you don't know what you face.

Speaker 12 Obviously, the SEC is, they were the best team or conference in college basketball this year, and the ACC is ass. Like, it's just objective.

Speaker 12 And they're just kind of entirely banking on Duke being a good program.

Speaker 12 I love sort of the theory of the ACC combining with the Big East. I don't know how valid that is, but I think that's something interesting to look at in the future.

Speaker 5 That's something that's been happening.

Speaker 5 There have been real conversations there.

Speaker 1 It does make sense for basketball, no doubt.

Speaker 12 The big East. They need it.

Speaker 8 They're so bad. The Big East.
I know the NIL,

Speaker 8 there are like new rules coming to NIL with revenue share coming up pretty soon.

Speaker 8 There's an article I read recently that talked about how the future of basketball in college could be heavily tilted towards the Big East because they do not have football teams.

Speaker 8 And so when the revenue share situation comes, each school is going to have about

Speaker 8 $20 million, right? $20 to split amongst all of their sports.

Speaker 8 And so in football, it's normally going to be like 80%, 75 to 80% towards football because the revenue generating sport in most major schools.

Speaker 8 And then the rest will be divvied up amongst basketball and the rest of the sports. But the Big East teams, they don't have major football programs.

Speaker 8 So they're they're projected to be spending six, seven, eight million dollars on their roster per big East team against the rest of college basketball that will be spending four or five or maybe six million dollars.

Speaker 8 So we could be looking at a future where the Big East is like the basketball conference, and then the rest of these teams are essentially relegated to being like trying to be spoilers or Cinderellas.

Speaker 12 No, I think that's absolutely fair. And I see why the ACC is kind of trying to capitalize on that right now because the ACC has been the premier basketball conference.

Speaker 12 That is what the ACC is known as. And that has not been the case the last few years.
The SEC has completely taken over. The Big 12 has taken over.
The ACC just isn't competing the same.

Speaker 12 Obviously, you can kind of play that into the fact that Roy Williams isn't there anymore. And I know Duke's been very good this year, but there was concerns about Coach K being gone.

Speaker 12 But when you look at the ACC right now and just where they stand, where they've just redid their entire revenue model based off of what Clemson and Florence State wanted with football, Just because they're in a weird spot where no one seems to be particularly happy, it seems like a good idea to attach another way for teams to make more money for the ACC to be more competitive because right now they're just falling behind and they're grateful that Cooper Flag decided to go to Duke because that's the entire savior of their conference.

Speaker 12 Had Cooper Flag not gone to Duke, had they not been a good team, what would have their tournament appearance been? Clemson losing to McNee State.

Speaker 12 Like that was it. The ACC is not a good conference.
But if the ACC decides to join the Big East, we'll have some great basketball games.

Speaker 12 And do you know where you should get tickets for those hypothetical basketball games? You should get them for game time. Download the Game Time app and redeem code Lucy for $20 off your purchase.

Speaker 12 Terms apply.

Speaker 14 Now you go.

Speaker 12 Again.

Speaker 5 Look at me, Lucy.

Speaker 14 That's an undercover great news.

Speaker 12 Two for two. Use code Lucy.

Speaker 8 You cooking, Lucy.

Speaker 8 I had something to say about

Speaker 5 hawk for me off.

Speaker 5 That's what I'm doing. You're doing really great, man.
Production,

Speaker 1 you're doing really great.

Speaker 5 It is. Feels good.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 I got good news for you.

Speaker 4 No, I got good news for you, Mike.

Speaker 5 Oh, for me? Yeah, for you.

Speaker 8 Okay. So the article I was talking about, they're going to introduce a Deloitte-run clearinghouse for NIL deals.

Speaker 19 Now, that's upgraded.

Speaker 8 But it's going to turn out to be good news for you, Mike.

Speaker 8 So the clearinghouse is going to make sure that all of the NIL deals are above board and actually deals for name, image, and likeness, not just ways to funnel money to players.

Speaker 8 And so this article I was reading was talking about how the salary cap, essentially the revenue sharing, and the renewed strictness on the NIL deal is going to create a situation where...

Speaker 8 Get excited, Mike. We might be going back to under the table deals.
Miami's back.

Speaker 5 The U is back.

Speaker 1 We've been doing just fine with the rules.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 14 You were doing better with the under the table.

Speaker 1 I've had a huge issue with the

Speaker 1 entity that has tried to undermine NIL and lost over two dozen court cases fighting NIL all of a sudden just having full autonomy over NIL. It doesn't seem right.

Speaker 14 Mike, I'm with you, Mike.

Speaker 8 Get your ass under the table where Miami belongs. Y'all love it under the table.
Taylor's there.

Speaker 14 Come on, Mike.

Speaker 5 I don't think

Speaker 1 a clearinghouse may necessarily bring a fair market for the athletes.

Speaker 5 And also, I'm a little confused.

Speaker 1 I understand why everybody is marching forward with Rev Share.

Speaker 5 There is still things pending.

Speaker 1 The Supreme Court will probably rule on this. And look, there's few things bring both sides together quite like a mutual hatred for the NCAA.

Speaker 1 They do have, while everyone's just pushing forward as if this is going to be a certainty, there have been Supreme Court justices that have been on the record anti-NCAA, so it's not the slam dunk that they think it is.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of confused how the whole machine just keeps moving forward as if this is a foregone conclusion. Probably is moving because they feel like they have it.

Speaker 1 And that's why they brought in a politician to oversee the entire thing. But the entire thing makes me feel really bad.
And there's so many things going on that people are just going to ignore it.

Speaker 1 And I think a lot of

Speaker 8 a free market is going to get squashed in this I just and I don't see how they actually have the time to get to everything they they're going to completely create a new template inside of a couple of months before football season and think it's going to get messy it's not over it's going to change a number of times in the next few years before we get to some sort of steady state combining amateurism with business is never going to work as smoothly as they want but um i think the peak college sport right now is women's basketball we didn't talk much about that

Speaker 8 um in part because Juju's out, but I do want to wonder if the South Carolina's like close games against great teams like Maryland and other teams. Should we be concerned about South Carolina going up?

Speaker 8 I guess UCLA was the favorite going into the tournament, though, right?

Speaker 12 Yeah, so it was a kind of a choose between South Carolina or UCLA for the number one overall seed, and UCLA does have a head-to-head win over South Carolina.

Speaker 12 I personally thought South Carolina should have gotten the number one overall seed, but the way South Carolina has played in this tournament hasn't necessarily helped that case.

Speaker 12 So South Carolina beat Duke yesterday 54-50. They had almost as many turnovers as baskets in this game.
Like it was not a stereotypical South Carolina win.

Speaker 12 They had a similar style of game against Maryland the week before where they're eking out these close wins. They were down at half to Maryland.

Speaker 12 And then in the round of 32, the same thing happened with Indiana. They were down at half again.

Speaker 12 It was the first time and I can't tell you how long that South Carolina had trailed the halftime for multiple games within the tournament. Obviously, it doesn't matter, though.

Speaker 12 They're advancing to their fifth, final, fifth, straight, final four.

Speaker 12 It's one of those things where, like, you can look at this South Carolina team the way you probably haven't been able to the last few years. And it's very obvious they have some glaring weaknesses.

Speaker 12 They're very beatable. However, watching any of those games, I was hoping for an upset because it'd be fun, but the entire time I knew South Carolina is going to win.

Speaker 12 Don Staley, like South Carolina, they have a tendency to squeak out these close games whenever they're playing in them, which they don't haven't been doing much much over the last few years.

Speaker 12 But this is a team that got their ass kicked against UConn and has been pretty much unstoppable since. Got to the tournament and now has been playing with their food a little bit.

Speaker 12 I think with Juju getting hurt, obviously that opens up some area for South Carolina. It's probably going to be a South Carolina UConn Final Four.
Obviously, UCLA has looked really good.

Speaker 12 I think they looked great against LSU. And I think the key to how good they looked against LSU was that Lauren Betts was in foul trouble and someone else stepped up.
And that's what UCLA needs.

Speaker 12 I can't tell tell you how many times I've turned on a UCLA game and you see the little stat in the corner that's like Lauren Betts, her stat line, rest of team, and they're always the same.

Speaker 12 So I just think that even though they've been messing around, it's South Carolina and

Speaker 12 I'm not going to doubt South Carolina. They are a great basketball team.
They're just playing kind of ugly right now, but who cares if you win?

Speaker 13 Yeah, I think Duke plays that style of basketball where it's defense heavy. They're going to force you to turn the ball over and they're really going to limit your ability to make shots.

Speaker 13 And half of the South Carolina team is really young. Like it's a very like mixed age group right now.

Speaker 13 And a lot of the players that were on the team last year, primarily like Camilla Cardozo, who is a WMA lottery pick, she's gone.

Speaker 13 So they're trying to like fill in with a couple players that are a little bit younger.

Speaker 13 But if they, if Texas or TCU wins tonight, I think South Carolina is going to be favored over either one of them.

Speaker 13 They just beat Texas two weeks ago in the SEC championship and completely like destroyed them. So I think think that like

Speaker 13 if you're unfamiliar with the style of play of Duke Women's Basketball, that's sort of the kind of game that you expect.

Speaker 13 Like they try to give themselves a chance by like keeping it in there with defense and having these super low scoring rock fight games, but South Carolina ultimately is just the better team, so they won.

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Speaker 5 Don Lebatard.

Speaker 13 I just texted my best friend Hannah and asked her who she thinks is going to win tonight. And she has never watched a hockey game this entire season.

Speaker 13 She's picking the Rangers, and she's an astrophysicist. She's real smart.
I'll text Joey.

Speaker 6 Dan, you know what I found out about Hannah today?

Speaker 11 An anagram. Stugats.

Speaker 9 You said Anna or Hannah?

Speaker 5 Hannah. Okay, I don't know.

Speaker 6 Anna, too, depending on how you spell it.

Speaker 4 Fail me.

Speaker 6 Even though if there's two N's, it's also an anagram. Same with one and Anna.

Speaker 4 Anagrams are fun. Hannah.

Speaker 4 A hanagram.

Speaker 11 This is the Don Lebatar Show with with the Stugats.

Speaker 8 Lucy, do me a favor. You got your phone near you?

Speaker 5 Yes. Okay, look at that.
Look, my phone case.

Speaker 5 Oh, nice phone case.

Speaker 12 Isn't that cute? It's very cute.

Speaker 8 Where'd you find it?

Speaker 12 Uh, case-defy, no-free.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay.

Speaker 8 It was, I mean, I think stories behind where you find things are normally more interesting than I just bought it, but it's fine.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I just bought it.

Speaker 8 So, um, go to your Uber and find your Uber rating while you're doing that. Charlie, I also, I also

Speaker 8 contacted Pablo, Dan, and David Sampson to get their Uber rating. So Charlie, please run down the list of ranking who you think has the highest to worst Uber rating.
Hold on, Lucy.

Speaker 8 Don't tell us yours yet.

Speaker 5 Okay, I have it.

Speaker 8 But Charlie, you have it? You ready? All right, Charlie.

Speaker 5 Calm down.

Speaker 16 I'm starting at the top, highest to lowest.

Speaker 5 Okay, so it's a better reveal.

Speaker 15 Number one. Okay.

Speaker 16 I'm going hock.

Speaker 16 Football players are on time.

Speaker 8 He's a receiver, though.

Speaker 16 Oh, it's a good point. He's a good point.

Speaker 5 He's a receiver.

Speaker 14 And I feel like everyone's on my time. Always.

Speaker 16 All right. Well, I put you in the number one spot.
That might be hand up. My bad.

Speaker 14 Let's be honest with you, man. Number two.
I get there when I get there. That's just my life mantra.

Speaker 5 Wow.

Speaker 14 He's a receiver. I'm just telling you, man.

Speaker 8 Party starts when I get there.

Speaker 16 I've spent so much time with Dominique where he just gives me legitimate anxiety for being 10 minutes early to stuff that I just assume this is a full football trait. We've had Mike Gullick Jr.

Speaker 16 on our show before, and he's also there 15 minutes early, but he's a guard, and a guard's sort of like a slot corner. Yeah, like where

Speaker 14 let me rephrase that. If somebody else is paying, yes, 10 minutes early is late.
If I'm paying, I get there when I get there. Yeah, I mean, that's it.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 14 Like I said, Uber, like, hey, hey, I'll be down there.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 4 Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 16 I like peek out the window for an Uber to make sure I don't make them wait because I just crazy.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 8 No, it's problematic. Well,

Speaker 8 I'll save my Uber stories until after you get to your list because I want to know what you think.

Speaker 16 Number two,

Speaker 16 I'm I'm putting Jess.

Speaker 5 Jess?

Speaker 5 Shocking.

Speaker 14 I like Jess at two.

Speaker 13 Why is that shocking?

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 8 I guess it's just my own experience with my wife. The Uber rating is not.
I mean, the.

Speaker 5 No, keep talking.

Speaker 5 No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm with Dominique Holmes.
Oh, no, don't do it, man. Don't do this.
No, he's.

Speaker 16 This is, I'm with Dominique.

Speaker 5 I'm Donik on this. That's how this goes.
It's a trap.

Speaker 16 Same issue. I know what it is.

Speaker 5 I got the same issue.

Speaker 5 They're women.

Speaker 5 No, no.

Speaker 5 Give a man a five. Don't leave me hanging.

Speaker 8 I've told my wife, when we're going out, you call the Ubers

Speaker 8 because I hate making the Uber driver wait. When we go out, you call the Ubers.

Speaker 18 When we are coming home, you call the Ubers.

Speaker 8 I ain't calling no damn Uber because I've called it a couple times and you make me look like an asshole.

Speaker 8 I got to walk out there and sit in the Uber for five minutes and make conversation with this guy because I feel like a jerk.

Speaker 16 Hawk, that's why I'm peeking out the window. I need to know when I have to go and have the conversation.
They

Speaker 16 buy the extra five to seven minutes.

Speaker 14 Nothing worse than having to have the conversation.

Speaker 19 That's my move, though.

Speaker 20 You go out there and you're like apologizing for the group.

Speaker 4 You're like, sorry about these people.

Speaker 20 They're coming.

Speaker 15 I know they're in the bathroom.

Speaker 20 I told them to come outside.

Speaker 18 Don't, this is not, this is my rating it.

Speaker 14 Please don't. Me and your wife are from the same fraternity because I am the how much time do we have? 15 minutes, 10 minutes? Okay, cool.
At minute nine, go put my luggage in the car.

Speaker 5 Because then they won't pull off with my luggage.

Speaker 16 and then i got them locked in and then we wait another 10 minutes until i'm finished with this phone call your uber rating is definitely the worst all right charlie rattle through hope all right i'm gonna go i'm gonna go a little bit faster now dominique is third respect for time yep uh fourth i'm going with billy who i think is oddly polite with strangers uh fifth I'm going with Roy.

Speaker 5 I don't like where we're going with this.

Speaker 4 Billy, we don't have

Speaker 5 this.

Speaker 8 I don't know that I have Billy's, but okay. Okay.

Speaker 16 Fifth, I'm going with Roy. I feel like he's never, ever been like, hey, actually, you took a wrong turn.
Actually, there's a better route. He's just cool with it.

Speaker 5 What did I do to you, Charlie?

Speaker 16 We'll get to you, Big Red.

Speaker 16 Fifth, I'm going with myself because I know my Uber rating. Sixth, I'm going with Lucy.
I think she's probably got some one stars in college. I think you're not.
Maybe a couple issues.

Speaker 12 That's actually fair. Yeah.

Speaker 16 The young people are tough.

Speaker 16 Seventh, I'm going with Tony. I feel like he probably.

Speaker 18 I'm worse than Tony.

Speaker 16 Tony's like, have you heard this Joe Rogan podcast?

Speaker 5 I think we should put it on.

Speaker 5 Do that JFK thing?

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Eighth is Mike, Mr. Oxcord himself.

Speaker 5 Boarshit.

Speaker 16 Ninth is Chris.

Speaker 5 Chris, I think. How many people are on this list?

Speaker 16 Chris, have you paid the $250 fine for throwing up in the back?

Speaker 5 No. I haven't.
I'll be honest. I have not.

Speaker 8 Oh, Lucy has.

Speaker 5 Lucy has. Twice.
Twice.

Speaker 5 Wow. I'm liking my chances there.

Speaker 12 Love the University of Iowa. Gohawks, great time.

Speaker 20 Someone below me.

Speaker 14 Chris is actually 10th, just so you know your numbers are low.

Speaker 16 Actually, I am going to bump Chris down to 10 because I forgot.

Speaker 16 David Sampson has to go somewhere higher just because I know he's standing outside anxiously one minute before the Uber arrives and walks and goes, hey, how was your day?

Speaker 5 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing to take.

Speaker 14 Because if the Uber is late, he's giving him hell.

Speaker 5 The app said you'd be here two minutes ago. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 16 I'm telling you this

Speaker 16 from the Jewish diaspora diaspora anxiety thing. Okay.
David is more worried about his Uber rating than anyone else on this list. He cares more about it.

Speaker 14 And yet you have him at 11.

Speaker 16 No, I moved him up.

Speaker 16 That was my bad. I forgot to include him.
All right. Let's put him fifth, right, Pine Roy.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 16 I put Dan is not applicable. I'm shocked if he has the Uber app on his phone or knows how to call an Uber.

Speaker 5 I imagine no f ⁇ ing way.

Speaker 20 I imagine Dan, like, on the wrong side of the hotel, like, I don't know where to go.

Speaker 16 He also definitely has a black car driver that he knows that he calls and schedules the night before he needs to.

Speaker 14 Is that a black car driver or a black

Speaker 5 car?

Speaker 11 Either way, I'm not sure.

Speaker 16 That was also some damn wordplay.

Speaker 5 I think it was. There we go.
There we go. Slam Dan is in the building.

Speaker 9 Can we reveal now? Lee Swight.

Speaker 20 Can we reveal our numbers so I can get a victory lap here?

Speaker 5 Well, all right.

Speaker 5 We got Pablo and Dale. I got two more.

Speaker 16 Next is Pablo. He is always late, and I just do not think he cares cares about his Uber rating or about drivers having to wait for him or about him, you know.

Speaker 5 Hey, the rule for Pablo is if he ain't famous, I don't think that's a good idea. Exactly.

Speaker 4 That's a crazy mantra.

Speaker 16 If there's no value for it,

Speaker 16 he's not going to give his best.

Speaker 8 He got it tatted on his chest. And

Speaker 16 the last one's a mean. Like, come on.

Speaker 9 Give me a break. Give me a break, man.

Speaker 1 Smit take.

Speaker 20 That's fair. Hard to argue.

Speaker 16 Just him mumbling drunkenly to an Uber driver for a 30-minute ride to the airport airport every time he leaves Miami.

Speaker 8 Somebody texted me to see if he could get us his Uber rating because I did text him. I just texted Pablo, David, and Dan.
All right, now we got it. Let's go around the room.

Speaker 14 Who's going to pencil this list in?

Speaker 5 I'll write him down.

Speaker 14 All right. This is tough.

Speaker 8 Starting with you, Charlie. What's your rating?

Speaker 16 487.

Speaker 18 Imagine that.

Speaker 5 Ooh, ooh, ooh. All right.

Speaker 5 Mike.

Speaker 5 It's real bad.

Speaker 5 That's real bad.

Speaker 1 What is it? Show me your phone. It's 4.75.

Speaker 5 Woo!

Speaker 8 That's real bad, huh?

Speaker 5 I've been building it up.

Speaker 1 At a certain point, I was like, all right, let me just start over. I'll be a Lyft guy.
I got to reclaim my reputation here because I'm always a guy that gets the Uber XL for the group.

Speaker 14 Can I make a choice whether to do Lyft or Uber?

Speaker 5 Nope, nope. It has to be Oobs only.
Oh, come on. Both of them.
Jessica?

Speaker 1 I've worked really hard on my reputation on Lyft.

Speaker 13 I have a perfect 5.0.

Speaker 14 There's no way.

Speaker 8 Get out of here, Smetty Wop.

Speaker 14 Woo! You might be the first person I've ever heard of.

Speaker 8 That's impressive.

Speaker 4 To have a 5.0 Uber rating.

Speaker 5 Roy, what you got, buddy? Well, for Lyft, I have a 5.0.

Speaker 5 I don't want to kiss my ass about that. And V2 Uber, I have a 4.97.
Get them, Roy. Superlative.

Speaker 1 So I don't know who that one driver was, but you can kiss my ass.

Speaker 14 That was probably the guy who did the voiceovers.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Chris.

Speaker 16 Mine's higher than Charlie's.

Speaker 5 Ooh.

Speaker 19 4.92.

Speaker 5 4.92.

Speaker 20 Charlie forgets how just

Speaker 18 how damn nice I am.

Speaker 5 You are affable as hell, man. Hey, how's it going? How's your night going? You probably start with a four because you wobble in there drunk.

Speaker 5 I'm sorry, man. I'm a little drunk.

Speaker 8 But then what's that? But then what's going on?

Speaker 5 You having a good night, though?

Speaker 13 Chris also revealed to us once that when the Uber drivers are talking to him about weird stuff, he'll just kind of nod along and smile and agree with them.

Speaker 5 You know what they're saying? Whatever you're selling, I'm buying. Down the middle, Chris.

Speaker 11 It's like, oh, conspiracy theory?

Speaker 5 Give me some of that.

Speaker 20 And look at me. I get a lot of it.

Speaker 5 I kind of thought of it that way.

Speaker 16 Great point.

Speaker 5 Vaccine, smack scenes, baby.

Speaker 14 Black people are so loud.

Speaker 5 It's crazy.

Speaker 5 See that guy wearing a mask? He's still wearing a mask.

Speaker 11 All right, Lucy, what's your rating?

Speaker 12 I'm a 496.

Speaker 12 Despite what I did in college, I think that's the most impressive.

Speaker 4 That is incredible.

Speaker 14 To have thrown up in an Uber three times.

Speaker 12 Only twice. only twice.
Speak, no,

Speaker 20 have thrown up in an Uber twice.

Speaker 14 Gotten that fine.

Speaker 8 In your defense, Hawk, if you throw it up into Uber, Uber two times, you probably don't remember the other two times.

Speaker 14 Exactly. I completely agree.

Speaker 5 You got four Uber vomits.

Speaker 14 To remember two of them with the fine,

Speaker 14 and there's got to be something you didn't get fined for, like a couple words that and it just splatter on the seat in front of you, and you just left as if you didn't know because you didn't see it.

Speaker 12 I'm asking after five years.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 8 Oh, I love that. Comeback Player out of the year.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 8 Andrew, I'm nervous, man. I saved you.

Speaker 14 I'm not as bad as Mike. I'm not great.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay. That's good.

Speaker 14 I'm 4'7-8.

Speaker 14 I tip well, too, though.

Speaker 1 That was my 40-time high school.

Speaker 14 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 8 There's no such thing as an accurate high school 40 time. No.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 4 you were five.

Speaker 5 No, no, no. It was 4-7.

Speaker 1 It's like a full second faster than Rashrapo.

Speaker 8 I ran a 4-3 in high school and then got to college and they clocked me and they were like 4-6.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you got it. Because I'm faster, stronger, and lost points.
They're like 4-6.

Speaker 8 All right. Well, let me see who we got here.

Speaker 14 So, Lucy

Speaker 8 and Charlie. Oh, no, Charlie, what was yours? 8-7?

Speaker 4 4-8-7.

Speaker 8 So, Pablo is an 8-4.

Speaker 8 4-8-4.

Speaker 8 Dan is a 4-8-5.

Speaker 11 That's Valerie.

Speaker 5 Dan is a 485.

Speaker 8 And David is a 487.

Speaker 3 Put me next to you at your darkest moment, Mr.

Speaker 5 Uber driver.

Speaker 4 That's a good impression. This is tough.

Speaker 5 Can we do lift next? No, please do lift next.

Speaker 5 Please.

Speaker 5 Hold on. Can you get higher than I am?

Speaker 13 So Lucy's thrown up in multiple cars, and yet Uber drivers around the country are like, we'd rather have Lucy than Michael.

Speaker 5 Honestly, bro.

Speaker 8 Lucy is a lot like Chris, I think, is that they're probably really fun to talk to and the Uber drivers like them.

Speaker 5 Well, that's because I lie. You lie? See, just like Chris Haddock.

Speaker 12 Crazy stories.

Speaker 20 Are you guys getting into life debates with your Uber drivers?

Speaker 5 Just let them talk. Not alone.

Speaker 14 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 12 If they say bad shit stuff, I have to say something.

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 12 one time an Uber was like, I think you would love this girl. Her name is Candace Owens.
And I had to be like, no, we're not doing this.

Speaker 5 Stephen A.

Speaker 1 was your driver.

Speaker 5 Love CO.

Speaker 14 Perpetuate people pleasers is what you guys are.

Speaker 14 You don't have to be.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 5 Hold on.

Speaker 13 Not Lucy. You guys should be taking advice from me, first of all, because I have a perfect score.
The way to do this is just you don't talk. You just sit there and you nod and you smile politely.

Speaker 13 That's all you do.

Speaker 8 I never have very long conversations with the Uber drivers. It's cool.
But I am a part of the Dot 9 crew. I got a 4.9.
No, who else? It's me. It's Charlie, Lucy, right?

Speaker 5 Not Charlie. Catch it.

Speaker 4 I mean, not Charlie.

Speaker 8 Excuse me.

Speaker 5 Me, Chris, Lucy, and the boy Roy.

Speaker 15 Yeah,.9 boy.

Speaker 14 Is Roy short for Leroy?

Speaker 5 No. Okay.

Speaker 1 Roy Sif, actually. No.

Speaker 5 Roy Sif.

Speaker 4 Roy Tholomeu? No.

Speaker 5 Roy Alexander? No.

Speaker 14 I like how you made 4.9 a crew just because you're in it. No.

Speaker 14 That is the unconscious bias that America is built on of like, oh, if this is my thing, other people have done it to make it more important than everyone else. Because it's not a five.

Speaker 14 We have a 5-0, so there's no reason to call out a 4.9 crew, but yet he made it a thing.

Speaker 19 We all know the 4-9s are strong.

Speaker 17 We can all get it.

Speaker 5 He got to treat it like a 40-time in high school.

Speaker 5 Not as strong as a five, but.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Roy Mond? No.

Speaker 4 Not as strong as a five. Get out of here.

Speaker 13 What would your hockey nickname be, Roy?

Speaker 5 Roy. Roy?

Speaker 5 Roy, probably.

Speaker 5 The king. Bells.
Belly. Belly.
Bells. No, it would definitely be belly or bells.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Hawk.

Speaker 1 Hawk would just be hawk because they wouldn't add a Y to that because it'd be like hockey? No.

Speaker 5 Yeah. We can't call it Hawk.

Speaker 14 You can't call hockey hockey in hockey.

Speaker 5 That's nuts. All right, Luce.

Speaker 8 Thanks for joining us. I'm going to let you fly.
I appreciate it. What's your shirt say?

Speaker 12 It says chaos.

Speaker 5 That's what I thought. Oh, cross-class.

Speaker 8 All right, Luce, you got anything else you want to sell before you go?

Speaker 12 No, I already did a great job.

Speaker 5 You did an awesome job.

Speaker 8 Bye, buddy.

Speaker 12 Thank you.

Speaker 5 Bye.

Speaker 8 So what's the the most surprising score?

Speaker 16 We don't have Samson's score.

Speaker 8 I gave you Samson's score.

Speaker 14 Samson had a very high score, eight something.

Speaker 14 I was actually surprised how low his was.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he had a 4-8-7.

Speaker 8 He's not a.9 boy.

Speaker 4 Same as me. That's

Speaker 5 a tough scene. Real tough scene.
Yep.

Speaker 4 What are you doing, Ubers? How do you ruin your...

Speaker 14 Do you guys mark no conversation on your Uber?

Speaker 4 Yes. Yes.
Of course.

Speaker 14 I mark no conversation, and my wife will tell me I'm hard on it because I do not want to talk.

Speaker 14 Not because I'm, it's more my social anxiety because the whole having to get to the conversation and I'm typically doing something else. I want to work in the Uber.

Speaker 13 There's only certain places where Uber drivers tend to talk more than not talk. It's very city dependent.
You get in an Uber in a big city generally, you're not really chit-chatting.

Speaker 13 You get in an Uber, maybe you're on a work trip somewhere. It's a little smaller town.
They're like kind of curious about you. Why are you coming to my town? That's where the conversations happen.

Speaker 20 In Miami, they're on the phone.

Speaker 20 And like, you'll learn it like four minutes in. You'll just hear them like,

Speaker 5 yep. The Yugo driver.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 18 And like, oh, they're, are they talking to me?

Speaker 19 Oh, no, they're on the phone.

Speaker 5 So the person's just on speaker and they're just like listening along. Yeah.
Just listening along the whole ride.

Speaker 1 Like they're not actually communicating, but he's just like, I'm here for you.

Speaker 20 Man. Seven minutes in, they're like, yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker 17 And it's like, who are they talking to?

Speaker 8 Are you?

Speaker 5 So Mike is the worst.

Speaker 14 Mike is the worst. Mike's friends.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Mike's friends. Yeah, I mean, I will allow Mike.

Speaker 4 I'm almost exclusively left too.

Speaker 5 too so yeah okay mike that's like out of seven you're the that makes it worse you're the only one you're the only one i'll allow you to introduce your lift why score because i was right behind him

Speaker 5 we're part of a 4.7 gang

Speaker 5 that is not score seven score seven i'm so proud of you i i am it's more exclusive than the 49 5.0 and lift You should like close to 800 rides, yeah.

Speaker 8 Congratulations, man. You're not.

Speaker 5 I worked hard on that.

Speaker 1 I worked hard on that because I found out one time, like my Uber driver told me, you know, your rating's pretty low i'm like what i was shocked to hear that and then i was like trying to figure out exactly how i got to that point i'm like i'm never really the problem am i how low was your rating at that point it was like in the five what yeah like it was like four yeah 4.5 so i'm i'm really doing a lot of work on myself good job and it's just because he wouldn't stop talking about miami hurricanes football when i say no conversation it's to protect my rating

Speaker 14 i have also 5.0 and lift in case you were wondering

Speaker 18 Okay. They hand those out on that thing.

Speaker 5 Clarity.

Speaker 5 Everyone's 5.0 and Lyft.

Speaker 8 They're trying to get you guys to come over

Speaker 4 in order to get a better route.

Speaker 1 What are your Lyft ratings though? Because for some of you,

Speaker 5 I mean, there's only one way to go.

Speaker 8 I don't even have Lyft. Yeah, I don't know that I even have Lyft.
I feel like I downloaded it at one point.

Speaker 14 My name on my Uber is also not my name. So I wouldn't even be able to prove that it's my profile.

Speaker 5 Do you have a fake name like Roy?

Speaker 8 Yes. So does Pablo.

Speaker 14 You guys don't go fake names like that.

Speaker 18 Roy's name's Jack Spade.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm going to get you sucker.

Speaker 12 So, I mean, the point of having

Speaker 5 a fake name, you can't say. He checks in a hotel station.

Speaker 14 Say the name on air.

Speaker 8 You can't say the name.

Speaker 4 Isn't that the point?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 14 So people don't know your identity. You can't now give it away that you are Jack Spade on all your rideshare apps.

Speaker 1 Every hotel I go, is there a Jack Spade standing?

Speaker 8 Which of these is the most surprising? I feel like, I mean, Jess's 5-0 shocked me. That's incredible.

Speaker 13 I'm not like your wife, it turns out.

Speaker 5 Apparently not.

Speaker 5 You're different.

Speaker 5 But Uber was around when you were in college. No.
So, like, it should be.

Speaker 13 And I was very respectful.

Speaker 8 I would like to ask for a retroactive 90s pardon for being sexist.

Speaker 8 I just would like a sexist pardon.

Speaker 11 We didn't.

Speaker 5 At some point, you know, we digested.

Speaker 5 Can the pardon be granted?

Speaker 16 Because Lucy's is still the most shocking. 496 with the double boot.

Speaker 5 Well, you know what?

Speaker 1 Maybe they're like, maybe they're really smart about when they order the Uber. Like, maybe she's not feeling great.
Like, you should probably get this one.

Speaker 5 So it goes on someone else's ratings because I'm not at my best.

Speaker 14 Also, how many rides? We should also put that into consideration. Because if you only have two Uber rides and you have a high rating, I'm less impressed.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 Whereas if I have in the 4.7 gang for life,

Speaker 5 and I'm hopefully, hopefully not for life.

Speaker 5 Never get nasty. 5.0 is in Lyft.
Asterisk.

Speaker 14 Yeah, we should see how many rides you have.

Speaker 13 How do you do that?

Speaker 14 I don't know.

Speaker 4 My lift tells me right now.

Speaker 5 My lift tells me. Yep, I have 106 lift rides.

Speaker 8 I would love. Did anybody text Amin and find out? Amin and Tony.
So maybe I guess in the next segment, we'll get an Amin and Tony.

Speaker 8 Because somebody has to undercut my buddy Mike. I believe that between Amin and Tony, one of them is going to get under Mike, right?

Speaker 1 Man, that's pretty low. That's a pretty low rating.

Speaker 8 Who do you think is lower? Amin or Tony?

Speaker 19 Amin. Amin.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 I think Amin is lower, for sure.

Speaker 5 I think Tony's lower.

Speaker 8 Just because I felt bad the way that y'all jumped on my dog.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 1 Tony could be a charmer.

Speaker 5 Yeah, fair point. And Toby's.

Speaker 13 Think about his friends.

Speaker 16 I have a text from Pablo. Ask Mike if his Uber driver handed him a survey full of the anonymous thoughts of other Uber drivers that drove him in an attempt to make him more likable.

Speaker 5 Your thoughts.

Speaker 5 I don't want to indirectly talk to Pablo.

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