A Couple of Homies

Well, like, first off, Seth's not here.

How's everybody doing?

It's the Seth Meyers Lonely Island podcast, minus Turbot.

Let me say, it's too soon.

It's too soon for him to be gone.

Yeah, we just did our very first No Seth episode.

It went over great.

Everyone loved it.

And it's way too soon for a sequel.

And this is because he couldn't make it work this week.

It's not because of us.

He had another Bar Mitzvah.

Let me tell you my thing

Sorry, guys, I did live TV last night, so I'm just really in my performance mode.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ask me about it.

How was it?

I watched a little bit of it after I found out it existed as a thing.

Yeah, I wanted to read our text thread.

You're really on top of it.

I know a lot about what's happening in the world.

Mulaney has a show on Netflix, guys.

Andy was on it.

I watched a little bit of it last night.

See, here's the thing, you guys.

I'm a sports nut now, so I was watching the games.

And so I wasn't up on the fact that Mulaney has a show.

It's true, there's Nick's.

We're all texting, trying to figure out if Seth could make the pod today.

Spoiler alert, he couldn't.

And Andy said, I'm about to do Mulaney.

This was at 6:59 p.m.

It's a live show that starts at 7, I believe.

So, yeah, he was texting on the couch.

And then Yorm wrote, I know you'll all be shocked to hear this, but I don't know what that means.

Does Mulaney have a show?

He's been doing it for over two months now, maybe a month and a half at least.

Many, many episodes.

One could even argue it's the talk of the town.

It also is a sequel to him having done it before.

So it's also less surprising because it's already happened in the past.

I know his name is Jonathan.

I know his last name.

Around LA and New York, there are billboards.

Yeah.

I get outside sometimes too.

And I, you know, here's the thing.

When you're a sports nut, Keith, you're just like, go, go, go.

What's more information?

What are the stats?

Look at that pick and roll.

There's a layup slam dominant so you were like i used to know about mulaney's show and then i became a sports nut because the playoffs started and now there's no room in there for the mulaney stuff it pushed right up exactly andy gets it anyway you did great on the show and it was very funny oh thanks at one point because i only could kind of half watch because i was with my kids and at one point i looked over and there was a puff of smoke coming out of your mouth what was that about oh yeah um

One of the comics, Robbie, brought on a vape of THC.

Tabaki in it?

Yeah, it was tobacco.

She kept saying it was only 2% tobacco, and it was really low-grade.

And it's like mint strawberry-flavored or something.

How'd you like it?

Have you ever hit, have you ever taken a hit of a vape before?

No, I let everyone know that after that, that was my first vape experience.

Yeah.

It was pleasant.

You seemed to, you did it like a pro, like that would make me think, oh, this guy kind of smokes, but I know for a fact you definitely don't.

And so it was very pleasant.

I definitely don't smoke that tobacco, but the wacky tobacco, I mean, I've puffed my fair share of gonge, you know?

Yeah, but not often often in these days.

So even that would have been surprising.

Growing up in the bay, puffing on that law, the doja, taking it to the net.

The fact that you know over five slang words for it makes me know you're telling the truth.

No stems, no seeds, no sticks?

Some of that sticky icky?

Almost like you had five on it.

Oh, yeah.

You could always count on me to have five on it.

Sometimes I'd even have six on it.

Wow, generous.

How much did you have on it, Keeve?

Very little.

One or two.

Yorm, how much would you put on it?

Be real.

Be real, The rapper.

Yeah, he doesn't.

He's just gone.

How till he's probably checking his phone looking at sports scores.

Yeah, he's like, oh, how many did Brunson have?

I did

a week ago.

Yes.

That's why I said the word Yorm.

Oh, I thought you were asking Keeve.

I asked Keeve and he answered.

Jesus fucking Christ.

I can't live like this, you guys.

I can't do it.

I don't want to do the podcast.

Seth's not here.

Yorm's not even paying attention because he's fucking fixated on Brunson.

Let's hear what Seth said.

Please play and heart.

Hey, everybody.

I'm Seth meyers and you're listening to the lonely island and seth meyers podcast boo so here's the thing everyone is here today except me but because i care deeply about this podcast i have pre-recorded my part of it and to make it feel authentic this is the first time the guys are hearing it but i do think it might work hey andy go yourself

hey seth How's it going, Jorm?

Get bent, Turbo.

See, as long as everyone listens, this should be fine.

It should feel like a normal pod.

And I should say I'm stepping in and doing this because there were some notes about how my last absence caused the pod to feel a little rudderless.

So while this isn't ideal, it's better than nothing.

Andy, I'm going to start with you.

Do you think this will work, me pre-recording my part of the podcast?

I will give you five uninterrupted minutes to give your answer.

Wow.

How generous.

So tempting now to talk for five minutes about how much I hate Seth, but I don't.

I I love him.

It's hard to hate Seth.

I mean, it was fun.

Whatever he's doing here is fun.

He's a quality human.

And we don't need him, but we need him for what we've established on the Seth Meyers Lonely Island podcast.

That's part of the equation.

But we could make a Lonely Island podcast without him, and we'd be just fine.

Yeah, that's true.

But I have this deep sense of anxiety of just like, what's coming next?

Oh, God.

What are we going to talk about?

I've got stuff.

Andy, what are you doing on your phone right now, though?

Obviously, spelling B.

It's a hard one today.

Yeah, but I don't think...

I think 53 out of 59 words.

But here's the thing.

Without Seth.

I know, I can't zone out like that.

You're right.

I hear you.

I knew what you were going to say before you even said it.

We're so on the same page.

Unlike me and fucking Yorm, who only cares about Brunson.

And Hart.

And wouldn't even answer how many dollars he had on weed back in high school.

The answer was zero.

We only smoked other people's weed.

Yeah.

We had a lot of friends that sold too.

So they would just be like, hey, hit this.

I own it.

Yeah.

Drug dealers.

Some of them even grew illegally.

Oh, yeah.

And got busted when andy mentioned the word doja it harkened back to my first car that i ever purchased which was the 1976 plymouth valare i bought it from a dude named asa who was one of the most bay fools i've ever met who said a lot of things like that's sensational he would say that a lot and uh when i bought the car he described it as doja green inside and out and i was sold for a hundred bucks yes sir i wonder if we can find a picture of that car it was a crazy big station wagon it was quality and And I had bumper stickers on the back.

There was a band called The Who Riders we all liked at the time.

They were from Oakland.

And still.

They had a song.

Yeah, they're still from Oakland.

And they had bumper stickers made for a song that they had called Shot Calling and Big Ballin.

And so on the back of the car, I had Shot Calling on one side, Big Ballin' on the other, which was funny because the woman who had previously owned it was a...

85-year-old woman who had pillars on the end of her driveway and apparently would crash repeatedly on both sides so both sides were completely dented so yes the driver of the car was neither shot calling or big balling no

but did they have five on it

well i saved a bunch of money for 500 bucks so yeah i had five on it after that sometimes six hmm oh wait i have something that's naked gun related which is um i just have a special message to somebody hey jay i know you're You're laying in your bed next to your husband, and I hear that you like listening.

So Andy and Jorm say hello to Jay.

She's

she falls asleep to our wonderful silky voices while her husband, who happens to be a high-level paramount exec, is laying in bed next to her.

The kind of exec that might have to approve overages as a movie nears completion and might have to approve some music that might come in above the approved amount in the budget and might be

have a peaceful slumber.

It's a great song, you should approve it.

Oh, it's fully clear of it.

The effects sometimes come in a little hotter than you think.

But you want it to look real.

Somebody has to just sign at the bottom line and

exercising the power of persuasion within a marital situation.

All right.

Thank you.

Great.

That was a very specific message going out to one of the queens.

Just one queen.

Great point, Sandy.

Oh, you know what?

No.

You three have done a podcast equivalent in the past.

You did a DVD commentary for your fantastic film Popstar.

And someone in our YouTube comments wrote this, I recently listened to the Popstar DVD commentary, and it's very funny how close it is to the vibe of the podcast.

Akiva tries to keep the train on the tracks.

Andy doesn't want to be there.

And Yorm is calling in from a phone submerged in water.

Is that how you three remembered the DVD commentary?

I'll give you six minutes for your answer.

I'm so annoyed how well this is working.

Oh, my God.

That's great.

He's really keeping us on time.

That really helps.

Yeah, you got to tip your hat to the guy.

Oh, wow.

That's how little the studio wanted to spend on Popstar after it had come out and they knew it wasn't making money that they refused to pay for the nominal cost it would have to have Yorma at a microphone, a real microphone.

I remember talking a lot, regardless of whether I should have been for my poor audio quality, but I don't know where I was.

No, but you could have got on a mic.

It was, they wouldn't pay for it.

So we were like, all right, just call in.

There was just one mic.

That's it.

That was it.

And it was before the technology would allow for just, you know, this.

I guess I was in New York.

Yeah, you were just in New York.

There's plenty of mics there that would work.

That's true.

By the way, speaking of not remembering why I was or wasn't there, I don't remember this short.

The couple of homies that we're going to talk about today, I don't remember why I wasn't really involved in this one.

We can really race by a couple of homies, in my humble opinion.

Whoa,

I'm curious about it because I wasn't really, I don't remember how it sort of came to be.

How did you guys come up with this?

I mean, it's definitely a Friday night at midnight.

And it definitely aired.

Didn't even shoot at a flat hotel.

It is in one of the dressing rooms on 8H.

Yeah, there's no lighting.

There's literally no lights.

It is just, you got to do something.

It's Friday night at 9:30 and then by midnight.

Was that?

If you would ask me if this air.

That's the most surprising part.

This is the one I thought did not air.

I was sure this didn't air.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess we would have to look at that rundown.

It was the Rosario show.

Yeah, I have it here.

What do you...

It might have been that the whole writing staff hit a wall that week.

Was it in the middle of a crazy run?

That sometimes would happen.

Yeah, maybe.

Not only did it air, but it aired in like a primo digital short spot, like in the third act before the first musical guest before Fleet Foxes did their first song.

You know what?

What I really do like from the show is there's a Yorum dances to Fleet Foxes.

That's one of my favorite Yorum dances, just because I remember it having a great vibe.

So I was there that week, but why wasn't I really involved with this short?

Maybe I hated it.

Is there a Magruber?

That's what I was checking that because I was like, there had to be a Magruber or something.

It was distracting me a bit.

Oh, Kevin's reminding us that it originally was at dress rehearsal at a previous show in November, maybe the AF show.

Oh, so it didn't air.

We made it way before.

And then this show needed something to get between an Aladdin sketch and a ghillie.

And they were like, ah, a couple of homies that's already shot.

And then they threw it in, and we must have been blindsided.

Okay, can we describe what it is, though?

So Andy enters a dressing room to see Fred.

You're doing great.

Says hello to him.

They slap five because they're pals.

And then a song with Will Forte singing starts describing exactly what you're seeing.

And Q-clip.

Hey, man.

Andy.

How are you?

Hi, man.

Good.

What are you up to?

I just reading a magazine.

Oh, cool.

Just get here?

Yeah, yeah, I took the subway.

Very nice.

Yeah.

Close friends, slap and five.

Their hands beat in the symphony of friendship.

So I believe what happened is we obviously had nothing and Forte when I was like, probably asked Forte, like begging him, like, what do you got?

And he came up with an idea of doing like improv songs describing what's happening when nothing important is happening, I guess.

Oh, is this a forte idea?

I think so, just because otherwise, wouldn't it have been you singing?

Oh my God, definitely blame it on him.

Yeah, that's why I said we need forte voice to defend himself.

They are funny songs and they each change genres pretty distinctly into a new vibe.

There's also a backscratch one that kind of is nice.

Backscratch.

That is maybe my favorite.

Doesn't that sound like you made that music, Jorm?

Yeah, what?

Doesn't that sound like your music?

I think I did make that.

So I was loosely involved so you were there maybe i'm just trying to pass the buck here yeah i think you were heavily involved

maybe it was your idea

so yorm came in at nine like i've got it guys got it don't worry about it and then i'll immediately forget that it was my idea

gotta make room for brunson stats Andy, we had multiple comments

about upside down naked skier.

Oh, no.

Most of our listeners agreed with you that

it was an unfair cut based on how it played.

That's good.

Someone said their favorite comment in the last episode was when you, Andy, said you couldn't hear if upside down Naked Skier was playing.

But that, quote, might have been because my ears were full of blood, end quote.

Someone also, though, asked a technical question.

Andy, when you are upside down, do they hold the cue cards upside down too?

I'll give you two seconds for your answer.

Yes.

And now I'll give you another minute if you would like to expand on that.

I feel like Seth's distracting us now.

This is like talking to an AI nurse.

You'd think that if he's going to bother interjecting, he would have recorded on his podcast mic, not like in a wind tunnelly kind of like with a lot of background sound.

I think we can all agree Seth is trash.

He probably was trying to save money, like the way that Universal was doing the pop star.

Oh, yeah, that's why.

He's doing a callback to Yorm's pop star commentary.

Oh, how savvy of him.

It's actually very kind of meta.

It's on point.

That turbot's on point.

But, I mean, I don't want to be rude to the person who asked the question, even though I want to be rude to Seth.

Yes, they hold the cue cards upside down and I read them upside down, but to me, upside down, they look completely normal.

You got it in under the minute.

But your ears are full of blood.

Oh, it was very uncomfortable.

Once again, great answer.

Andy.

And let me just say, your vibe is fantastic today.

I feel like you finally got that job setting right.

Whatever you did today, try to keep replicating it.

Yorm.

Yorm, you still with us, bud?

Yep.

Okay, yorm.

Get ready to have your mind blown.

And by the way, if you guys ever want to pause this pre-recording of me, I did work something out with Jeff earlier.

The code word, if you want him to pause this, is just any one of you scream, pause it, Jeff.

Pause it, Jeff.

All right, so yorm.

Thank you.

Oh, man, it's like getting a mosquito out of the tent.

Now I'm so curious what he was going to ask me, though.

But let's not do it.

Well, I mean, we don't like a couple of homies, so I'm happy to go back to Seth.

I just felt like exercising my power.

Yeah, I actually am, you know, really thanking Seth.

This is really thoughtful.

He put some time in.

Those were interesting factoids he had.

What do you think he did?

Because I feel like he either gave these as a series of clips to Jeff, and then Jeff is just randomly playing them, or he did it all in one and he did timers, and then I'm wondering what he did.

Absolutely did not do timers.

Jeff is doing timing for him.

There's no doubt in my mind.

Jeff, why don't you tell us the truth?

It's a series of clips that I am timing you.

Oh, fuck.

So he was a lazy.

Doesn't Seth would fucking waste his precious time?

No, he's too busy tricking other people into starting podcasts with them and then bailing on them and then trying to act like it's their fault in his thing he sent in.

God damn you, Seth.

God damn you to hellfire.

I hope you burn there and your skeleton burns and keep consciousness.

All right, I'm going to screen share.

I haven't brought up the dog yet.

The dog in my house?

No, no, no, Frisbee.

Like he's going to transition to there is a dog in my house that Zoom is at.

Jorm, you'll get this.

I want all the smoke.

Yeah, Jorm will get that.

Sports nut.

Sports nut.

I'm up on that.

Support for the Lonely Island at Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb.

Oh, Akiva.

Yeah, here I am.

I've got a big vacation coming up, and I know you like to vacation with your family.

Tell me what I should do.

Well, so I went with my, you know, my brother and my parents.

We went to Pittsburgh this last year.

We like to go once a year, and we've been staying at old Airbnb's recently.

And it's just so lovely because we're in neighborhoods, we're around people who live there, we're by local coffee shops, restaurants that are attached to hotels.

It's just great.

It feels like we're at home.

And, you know, I don't see my parents that much.

I don't see my brother that much.

But, you know, like a lot of families, we used to all live together.

And when we do an Airbnb trip, we feel like we live together again.

Now, did you stay near that bar?

And I can't remember its name.

It's like Schlotsky's.

It's like a dive bar with a pool table in the back.

You know what I'm talking about?

You've been there?

I don't.

But next time I'll stay next to Schlotzky's.

It's not what it's called.

Somebody's gonna write in and know.

Okay, good.

But it has a great name like Snooby's or something.

But you know, we can only do it.

We can only stay at one of these when people are kind enough to share their home with us.

And maybe you're one of those people.

You could make memories both as a traveler and as a host.

Your home could be worth more than you think.

Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host.

Support comes from soul.

Keeve, I don't need to tell you.

Sometimes you just need a little something, something in the middle of the afternoon to get you through the rest.

Have your inbox or something at the end of the day.

Do I?

To make your evening more enjoyable.

I think for Andy, obviously, it's Jav.

Yeah, he's a job head.

But it can't be Jav for all of us.

Sometimes I need something that just hits a little different.

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Honestly, sounds very good.

I personally would probably be a gentle micro-dose.

Maybe a perfect buzz, but probably the gentle one.

Yeah.

You're a gentle fellow.

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Now, I was was just talking to Andy, and he was telling me the same thing I told Seth last week, which is that people in our lives genuinely hear this ad and hit us up all the time saying, Hey, can I get free Viori?

Because they actually wear it and they actually love it.

And it is a real thing that people really like.

Yeah, but guess what?

That's why we have a cool promotional code at the end.

Exactly, but that only gets you your first purchase.

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All right, I'm gonna screen share.

You guys seeing this?

Okay, we're watching me dance today.

Stop playing.

We've talked a little bit about me doing the dancing, right?

What are they playing there?

Is it like Blue Ridge Mountains?

Yeah, exactly.

I believe that that is.

I love that song.

Here it goes.

That was the exact thing you sang.

I gotta say, I'm pretty fit, you guys.

Am I wearing a white belt or something?

Then pants to Bill, but Forte's there today, too.

And then

the socks.

I like that for definitely talking one.

You forgot.

Andy forgot.

That's a genuine.

Andy genuinely forgot.

I did not remember that.

Got me.

Oh, the idea that you would just fully ruin their performance is so funny.

But it's so funny that we made Lenny Pickett give us the audio for that because I didn't actually play Synics.

You can't rip a sax, but it really sounds good.

It sounds legitimately like you're doing doing it.

Yeah, it sounds like it's in the room.

That's probably our best one of those.

It's definitely probably the most creative and surprising.

That's on YouTube.

Anybody wants to find it?

Just type in Yorm Dances to Fleet Foxes.

It's sitting right there.

I just love that we had the energy to be like, hey, let's do something else.

I mean, I guess after a couple of homies, we had the stamp.

This is what I'd be the most excited for that week.

I'd be doing this, and I'd write, this is what I wrote on the caption: secret stolen footage from SNL.

I caught this totally private moment of Yorma with Fleet Foxes on January 17th, 2009.

That's good fun.

Keep, do you remember, did we have one of those little handheld weird like

recording devices to record?

Like, how did we record these?

Do you remember?

Yeah, I think we talked about this last time we talked about these, but it was, I have the camera here in my closet.

It's a

one of those little silver point-and-shoot cameras that had a video mode.

It almost looked like a ring doorbell kind of thing, right?

And then you'd like pop out the US.

No, that's the, those were called flip.

Those were called flip cameras, and I don't even think I had that yet.

This was like a point and shoot for stills that had a video mode.

That was like

one of those ones that could fit in your pocket.

Here's what one of the comments from 10 years ago.

He didn't interrupt the song.

It was replying to people who were like mad that you were, or not bad, but like shocked you would interrupt.

They always do the Yorm Dances videos during rehearsals, so the band is playing just for the video.

It is rehearsals, but it's not, they're not playing for us.

They're genuinely rehearsing.

And then we're just doing it.

I just like that each of these bands, we had to be like, Hey, do you mind if we go just stand in front of you?

Like, while you're rehearsing for your big, scary live show, like, that's not distracting your dance around.

It's also, they're about to be on live TV in like four hours.

Fleet Foxes were not tripping, though.

They were very nice.

No, no, they're delightful.

Yeah, cool guys.

They sounded very good, too.

I love their music.

Yep.

I'm just reading through the comments in case there was anything good.

Was there anything about my bod and how tight it was back in the day?

Yeah, did anyone at that time say, Man, I bet you in a bunch of years- years?

He'll be way fatter later.

Boy, I bet he's glad he's got that captured.

15 years from now, he'll be happy he has this because it is not gonna stay this way.

Your arms are like an old pin-up girl from the 40s.

Like, that was me.

Yeah, he's like the Titanic lady.

I was a hat to Mally.

Yeah, I was a hat to Malley back then.

Me and my One Piece.

Oh, I'd walk down the beach at Cody Island, and all the boys would stare.

Oh, he's

Jeffus.

Jefferson is nudging us that he has more SEP notes.

Go ahead.

You want to play the rest of that one?

We talked in the last episode about how Hauser is also Douglas Quaid's real name in Total Recall, and what a coincidence that was that you would bring it up in the Doogie Hauser episode.

Well, also, Douglas Quaid's real name is Hauser, just like Doogie Hauser.

Doogie's real name is Douglas.

So this really has turned into a real puzzle.

This has total recall.

What are the years?

When did Total Recalls come?

I'm just going to slide into my next point.

Well, well, well, we were talking about merch, and hopefully, both Yorm's on it to make some merch that nobody wants, and then some professionals on it to make some merch people might one day buy.

All right, bear with me.

We were talking about merch, but we were also talking about Kangles.

What if our podcast made quado-themed kangles called quangles?

Oh, gosh.

Andy, can you please, as Billy Bob Thornton, say quangles three times and then react as though his quado is bursting out of your stomach?

I want to do it, and I'm also doing it in protest, under protest.

Yeah, we get it.

Duress.

Exactly.

Go ahead.

Like, I'm going to fucking pre-record my next episode.

Here we go.

Quangles.

Quangles.

Quangles.

Damn, the best.

That was right.

That was worth it.

Yeah.

Quangles.

You remember

the Quaid Army?

Oh, boy, he's coming back.

Never mind.

Go ahead.

We'll just maybe play because we don't need to re-record it.

We'll just get Forte's Joey Pants saying Dare to Best at the end of that.

And then I would assume the Quangles will just

flying off the shelves.

You know what, Jeff?

Just play Dare to Best for me real quick.

Dare to best.

All right.

So last but not least, I did get a voice recording for us, guys.

We talked about Shoemaker's final week, and that we had a party for him, and that Fred Armison played his version of Blackbird for Shoemaker.

Fred was kind enough to record it.

So, here is the promised Fred Armison singing a poor version of Blackbird.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night.

Oh no,

it's so good.

You will only wait for this moment to arrive.

Blackbird flybir.

Into the light of the dark black night.

Wow.

Oh, can we tell you?

It's really being good at music to be off in that specific of a

good way.

Keeve, how hard is it to make ringtones?

Like, do you know how to do that?

Because that feels like it should be.

I'm sure it's not that hard in this day and age, or maybe it's impossible and they've locked it out.

I haven't tried in a decade.

Way in on the conics.

I was going to say, I don't think I've done it since the goulet thing.

Yeah, somebody can tell us how how to do it.

Send us a voice note in, and we'll play it in its entirety step by step of how to make it long and create an iPhone ringtone.

So I think that we kind of brushed past the most important part of what Seth found out from one of our Quaid army, which is his name was Douglas Quaid.

Yeah.

Slash Douglas Hauser.

And I'm looking online, and it is true.

Dr.

Douglas Doogie Hauser.

So they had the same full name.

That's incredible.

That's huge.

Yeah.

Like, we could make a shirt that says Douglas Hauser, and it could have both Schwarzenegger and NPH next to each other.

Yeah.

Also, it immediately begs the question, the timeline tracks.

Is Total Recall a sequel to Doogie Hauser the show?

It's possible because it's in the future.

Yeah, he's a kid in the first one, so he could get buffed.

So in terms of also just timeline of release, it's bizarre because September 19th, 1989 is the the pilot premiere of Doogie Hauser MD.

And then the movie came out in 1990 at some point.

This just became like a, almost like a crime podcast.

Like we're really getting a deep dive.

Well, that means that they, so it came out June 1st, 1990.

So, you know, in the summer, that means they were likely filming around the same time.

So the question is, what event happened a year or two years before then that affected both the writers of Total Recall and douglas hauser md or akiva hmm is one of the writers of either one of those actually using a nom de plume and it's the same person oh and this was their little breadcrumbs they were leaving yes that only we finally picked up they they are now our moriarty oh my gosh i think that might have been a stretch they've been waiting 35 years for somebody to finally piece together oh my god So he starts as a kid doctor, then he grows up and is with Sharon Stone, I believe.

And then he gets bored with with life because obviously he's so brilliant that life can't compete.

So he goes to the place to like, he lost his whole childhood being a doctor in an ER and shit.

And so he's like, Jesus, I never lived.

Well, and then travel to Mars becomes more readily available.

Well, he goes to that place for excitement.

I haven't watched Total Recall in decades either, but doesn't he?

He goes to like a video game place for a virtual reality experience to see like

what could life have been like if I hadn't sold my childhood to a hospital.

And also maybe like spent a lot of time in Austria and then it rubbed off on him, the way he speaks.

Right.

Well, and also steal the air from Mars, right?

Doesn't he need to like infiltrate the rebellion on Mars and meet Quatto and kill him?

That's part of his exciting fantasy, right?

That's not what's really happening.

Or is it?

Or is it?

That's the whole question.

Yeah.

That is the question.

He might still just be a regular doctor who spent a lot of time in Austria back home on Earth.

But let me put it this way.

If you were a 12-year-old who became a doctor and missed your entire adolescence, you might be like into like, ooh, what if a girl had three tits?

Like you missed a crucial part of growing up and being a teenager and kind of maturing.

Right.

That makes sense.

I'm just saying there's some pretty immature stuff in Total Recall that Quaid's mind is thinking up.

All the immature stuff in Total Recall has to be

having a stunted social life from being a doctor.

Yeah, he didn't get to go to college and experiment and do stuff.

Yes.

And that's why he needs excitement.

That all tracks.

It's his gap year, recall.

That's what it is.

it's his rum springer exactly retroactive yeah and he goes from speaking kind of like this to i'm gonna kill you you son of a bitch

because of the time spent in austria as a doctor did they ever call him doogie quaid yeah like is that his nickname no but that's another great shirt doogie quaid because sharon stone like as a term of endearment could be like doogie why do you need to go to the the mind-altering place our life's exciting enough as it is doogie

Has anyone else named Douglas ever been called Doogie, I guess?

Right.

Or did they make that up for the show because they were like, we really want his name to be Doogie, but no one would ever really name their kid that.

Yeah, it's short for Douglas.

I feel like it would be harder to hate him with a nickname like Doogie.

To be like, oh, God, that guy who came before me who's tricked me.

Doogie.

I'll get that Doogie.

Oh, Douglas, come on in.

Oh, it's actually pronounced Douglas.

Well,

we did it.

Oh, crack the code.

Seth would have never allowed this level of investigating.

That's right.

This is what the podcast should be.

You know what, guys?

Before this, I was against podcasts.

But now that we've just, this is why you have to do them because you uncover things you never expected.

I mean, Seth started this, so I think Seth wanted this conversation.

No, Seth had nothing to do with it, and he's a piece of shit.

He sucks.

Well, he read a comment and then would have moved past briskly to keep the show car on the tracks.

No way, Joseph.

Exactly.

Sorry, Seth.

We can keep a car on the tracks because guess what?

I saw another comment that said, I've seen a car on the tracks.

It's a DeLorean in Back to the Future 3.

So that's obviously what Jorm was referencing.

So thank you, commenter.

Thank you for making Jorm's comment make perfect sense.

It was a cool car to be on the tracks.

Yeah.

A fun little sidebar.

I'm making a DeLarb.

I got to go to the hosted talk show now.

You guys are going to talk about a couple of homies.

Jorm had a fun little sidebar.

Obviously, heartbroken not to be there for this, but you know, you guys did it.

It's your victory lap to take.

Forte's.

What I wouldn't give to say it had something to do with a couple of homies, but

even you guys, you were the homies.

You were the trio of homies.

And Keeve, I think it's probably best if you take the lead.

And I love you guys.

Okay.

Love you, Seth.

Oh, that was, I guess that was his last one then.

We can only pray.

Thank you, Seth.

Thanks for calling in.

As we've established, it was all 40's fault.

What was your sidebar?

Do you want?

Oh, it's just that I'm building while I am watching Brunson slam hoops and stuff.

Right.

I'm also building a Lego DeLorean car, which I think is basically those are the two sides of my personality.

That's pretty fun watching basketball and building a DeLorean.

Adult puzzling while watching b-ball.

Doesn't get much better.

Nope.

All right.

Well, we have a special voice note from a true Quaid.

A real Quaid, a double-down Quaid.

How is that?

A member of the Quaid Army and a Quaid by birth.

Hi, guys.

Jack Quaid here.

Thank you so much for letting me send a voice memo in.

I love the show, and I'm such a big fan of all of you guys, and I have been for years, so this is gigantic for me.

Okay, let me just explain my personal saga with this whole Quaid Army business.

First thing you should know is, as a nickname, a lot of my friends call me either Quaid or Quado or some version of that.

Imagine getting to be aware of the name of the family.

So I'm listening to the Quado episode and naturally you're thrown around the word Quaid a lot because you're talking about total recall and

I'm having kind of an automatic response because it feels like someone's saying my name a bunch, which you kind of are, but because my nickname is Quaid.

Like I'm really perking up every time you guys say it.

And I remember it being like slightly distracting, but I still loved the episode.

And I was like, you know, it's going to be fine.

They're talking about a total recall sketch.

Of course, they're going to say Quaid a bunch.

This will probably simmer down.

Oh boy, how wrong I was.

It just kept building, and then Quaid Army became a thing, and it became somewhat of a problem for me because I just have you guys on in my apartment.

And logically, I know Andy Sandberg is not calling my name inside my apartment.

But for a second, I believe that is 1000% true.

So yeah,

it's ruining my life.

But I think I'm just that's such a testament to how much I love the show and how much I love you guys.

I'm just starting not to care.

It's not weird for me anymore.

I just love this weird ass bit that you guys do and have been doing for years.

And I just think it's funny and I love that it has absolutely nothing to do with me or anyone I'm related to.

Anyway, I'm a Quaid who is a Quaid, and I don't have a Smint.

Quaid Army for life, righteous kill, all the things.

Guys, thank you so much for having me on.

Have a great day.

Oh, Jack.

That was sweetheart.

Righteous Kill to you, good sir.

How nice.

I loved all of that.

Really great to hear from a double Quaid.

Double Quaid.

Those are rare.

He might be the only one.

I mean, yeah.

In a lot of ways, he's a VIP.

Yeah.

Run on the line.

I mean, he's more of a quay than we could ever imagine.

Thanks for that.

What a treat.

Yeah.

Thank you, Deck.

Yeah, it's hard to recover from it.

It's such a treat.

Thank you and sorry.

Apologies.

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No, I only do black web stuff, so yeah, this sounds interesting.

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support comes from cremo listen yorm i got a confession i've been hidden in the gym before work oh the exercise is great but can i tell you something that's a little embarrassing always gave we've been friends forever i know you've been going for that jeremy allen white bod so i knew you're the right guy to talk to here and i know you have a little bit of self-conscious stuff about how great you looked in that Flea Fox's video

and that it's been a lot of years.

So this is something that's even more detailed and it may be embarrassing.

The exercise is great, but managing the sweat and odor has been, let's say, a challenge.

Okay.

Yesterday, I had to pick up some body care stuff, but the scents were so boring.

Men's products need more variety.

How many times have I said that, Jor?

Oh, this product sounds like it's going to just like change your life, Keeve.

I'm so glad for you because you've said it for the last 25 years.

Yeah, well, I have body odor problems, let's just say.

And then, when I, and then

it gets worse

when I try to cover it up and it's boring.

So, part of the problem is just boring scents.

Yeah.

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Now, how many times have you been like, mmm have you been out smelling neroli?

Well, I'm already not bored, I'll tell you with the scents.

Thank you.

And fresh vetiver.

How good do those words sound like they'd smell?

The most good.

Okay, and then the other one is called Palo Santo, and it's deep, smoky, and refined, featuring notes of Palo Santo, bright cardamom, and dry papyrus.

That's the one I've tried, and I love it.

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Well, they use enhanced multi-layered scent technology for a longer lasting experience so you can apply it once and enjoy how you smell all day.

And your one last little note I'd like to share is that deodorant isn't just for smelling good or avoiding sweat.

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I mean, I feel like you always make an unforgettable impression, Keith, but this is just going to enhance that.

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Are we done with Couple of Homies?

I wanted to talk about the end of Couple of Homies.

Yeah, let's get into Couple of Homies, dude.

So, the end of Couple of Homies is the part that I like the most.

Back scratch, funny little song.

Other parts of it were just kind of like fun.

But then at the end, it cuts to forte in the record booth.

He finishes the song.

We're just a couple of homies.

Camera slowly pulls back.

This is nice direction, in my opinion.

Forte dramatically steps back from the microphone in the record booth and turns, revealing something we've done before.

He's not wearing any pants or underwear.

However, in this particular instance, it's not blurred.

He leans against the wall and we see his full butt.

Yeah.

Which I remember us being like, how is this possible that we're airing this?

It did air that way, right?

Yes.

And then we re-watched it this morning and it is fully in there.

And it is obviously the funniest part and the biggest laugh in it.

But it was like a full NYPD blue, you know, where you're like, there's a flesh butt being shown on network television.

A full NYPD blue.

That's your.

I forgot that they did that.

That was a big deal.

Dennis Franz butt.

And that show was on from 10 to 11 on primetime.

So it's definitely kidding.

By the way, Jorm, it was a big, like...

at the time, big deal.

Well, they were teasing it ahead of time.

Like,

get ready because you're going to see Dennis France's.

No way.

Yeah, and everyone's like, oh my God, I'm tuning in.

No way they teased it ahead of time.

They just dropped it.

Oh, they absolutely did.

That's how little there, how few options there were back then where you're like, that's event television.

You should have teased Forte.

I loved that show.

I'm looking it up.

By the way, no shade on Dennis Franz's, but I'm just saying, like, there was a lot less access to butts.

Well, he was kind of the pioneer then, you know?

He made it possible to have a couple homies there like this.

I think Couple of Homies was in its essence an homage to NYPD Blue and just the whole culture surrounding it.

God damn.

We don't have actors like Dennis France anymore.

I miss that.

Look at that guy.

Sipowitz.

Yeah, man.

Do either of you guys remember?

Was Vorte wearing some sort of cod piece on the front or did he just do it?

Well, based on the quality of the camera it was shot on, I think there's a strong chance it was like just you or Keeve were in there with him and he did it.

That's my guess.

But we should get a voice note from him.

I don't think there was production, but he might have went and grabbed a dance belt of some sort.

You know what?

Knowing Forte, he might have owned one.

I was trying to find an ad really fast of Sipowitz.

Tune into NYPD Blue tonight, where I'm going to be showing full ass.

Is that how it went?

Also, there's a crime of some sort.

I think it was definitely their VO guy.

Because wasn't it on Thursdays at like after friends and cheers and stuff, right?

So this would have been during like right between friends and cheers.

He'd be like, hey, this pretty funny stuff, huh?

Don't turn your TVs off because at 10 p.m., I'm showing full ass.

Oh, it was ABC.

So it was Disney.

That's definitely how they promoted it.

It was like step-by-step or Boy Meets World was on or something.

He's like, hey, stay tuned after Boy Meets World tonight.

Well, Boy Meets World would have been way earlier, right?

That's more like a 5 p.m.

or something.

Well, yeah, what are the ABC shows, step-by-step or something?

Well, that was TGIF, right?

Yeah, NYPD Blue wasn't after that.

Was it TGIF?

It couldn't have been.

Yeah, NYPD Blue was part of TGIF.

No, it was Wednesdays.

No, it was on Wednesdays, but I don't know what was before it.

It was like, after this, hey, after Freaks and Geeks, stay tuned.

I think that was Fox, no?

What was Freaks and Geeks?

Wait, but you guys, did you guys watch this?

Was it in a sex scene?

It had to be a sexy thing.

I think it was him, like, waking up in the morning morning and going to put his pants on.

Really?

They were just like just before teeth brushing full ass.

Oh, Jeff says he thinks he was in the shower.

I mean,

shower.

Okay.

God damn it.

I love your hypothetical commercial board fucking.

Why do you think there was a promo?

How did they possibly promo?

It was like the VO guy being like, and for the first time ever on network television, nudity.

Full buttocks.

I almost spit my coffee out.

Absolutely not, Andrew.

And then I remember it being like a news story after where it was like water cooler talk of like,

what the deal is.

It's not like he's got some great ass.

The water cooler aftermath, I get the promo of being like, you gotta watch for anybody listening to this right now who doesn't remember or doesn't know who Dennis Ferenz was, look him up because

you check him in Mona Lisa, pop star.

Yes.

And I'm genuinely a fan, but like, let's say he looks like a character that would be on I Think You Should Leave.

It is not what you would think of as the stereotypical sex symbol where you'd be like, oh, wow, we we got to tune in and see his butt.

It's so fun to look him up.

I just did it and it is well worth it.

Like, that is not something that you're like promoing, like, ooh, you know who he's ass, you got to see.

Did you look up the video, Jorm?

No, I've just looked up his face.

It's just great.

Oh, I thought we were all simultaneously Googling Dennis Fran's butt.

Show me.

I definitely am.

I don't think this has gotten off the rails.

This is what, listen, Jay's in bed.

Oh, my God.

Mikey's trying to fall asleep, but he's hearing this.

This is what she tunes in for.

Quaid, what are you doing in the kitchen?

I could have been talking to anybody.

It doesn't have to necessarily be Jack.

Yeah.

Just any Quade.

That was you just disturbing him in his apartment.

Any real Quaid, any double Quaid.

Quato!

He said they say Quado.

We would never say that until now.

Well, Quato has nothing to do with, it has absolutely nothing to do with Total Recall, aka the sequel to Doogie House.

Hey, Quato, make like Dennis friends and show me that butt.

Hey, I think I found a clip.

You did?

Dude, this podcast is way better without Seth.

I'm flying.

Hold on.

I'm sharing screen.

Is this allowed to be on YouTube?

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck yeah.

We're watching it, you guys.

Oh, shit.

All right.

So he's wearing

his usual button-up shirt with short sleeves, which I always call the Dennis Friends look.

Oh, this is going to be.

He was about to pee.

His girlfriend or wife has come in and is having small thoughts.

Bam.

Oh, my God.

There's his butt.

Whoa.

I just saw that.

His dad was full ass.

It looked great.

It did.

Yeah.

He's been chasing down perps.

He keeps it tight, smooth.

Oh, a bitch.

Why was there a gratuitous?

There's two buttons.

There's another butt.

There was a gratuitous pan down to his butts a second time, and then a girl butt.

Oh, my God.

She's in full makeup, too.

Oh, it's because he hasn't had a girlfriend much before, so he's never showered with somebody.

It's about

story-wise, character-wise.

Terrible shower pressure, too.

Bad water pressure.

Oh, my God.

This is a long scene.

He's never done this.

It's about him learning about intimacy.

Oh, my God.

The close-up of his butt panning to the second butt was classic.

I can't believe it showed his butt twice and panned to his butt.

Whoa,

that actually is crazy to be on TV, that last one.

This guy doesn't understand sex.

Wait, is he...

Is she jerking him off?

Yeah.

This is very pornographic for ABC.

This is very pornographic.

This is HBO level.

This was on Disney-owned ABC.

Jesus.

It's porn.

It's still going.

Franz didn't write this episode, did he?

I don't even know how that's on YouTube, let alone ABC.

Yeah.

Get me Michael Eisner.

Wow.

Thanks for finding that, Keeve.

I'm genuinely shocked.

Is it possible that Franz pitched that episode?

He was like, what if I'm in the shower and

yeah, and you see my butt?

You think he pitched it?

That came from Mickey Mouse himself.

I was going to say, that came from the top.

That came from the top.

Who was in charge?

Was it Iger?

That was an Iger channel.

No, no, that's probably Eisner.

Probably Michael Eisner.

Eisner.

I always get them confused.

Yeah, I always mix them up.

Well, I was hanging with Tommy Hanks the other day.

I was like, you know what?

Was it Eisner or Iger?

Anyway, you are muted how it is.

Brunson.

Who did the shower jerk off scene?

Was that Eisner or Iger?

That shook me, actually.

That was like HBO level.

I can't believe that was on network TV.

I just like that he didn't understand what was happening.

He was like, whoa, I usually wash myself.

That part of myself, I usually wash myself.

I'm usually in the shower, just one person.

This is weird because you're a second person in here.

Quaid, what are you cooking?

This joke is complicated.

What are you cooking?

The whole cast now exists to talk specifically to two people.

Jack Quaid.

Jack Quaid?

These are just Jack Quaid.

But also, I'm just saying, Jay.

All right.

These were some other comments.

Ready?

Kelly Bowes from last week said, Neil Patrick Harris has three first names, and so should not have been eligible for the two first names club.

You're right.

Same as Michael Clark Duncan.

But is Harris?

I mean, yeah, I guess it can be.

Yeah, we have known multiple people named Harris.

Yeah.

Yeah, it can be.

But is it more commonly a last name?

I hear you.

It's not as common.

I mean, it took this many years for somebody to call it out.

I think it should be, though.

Harris is a good first name.

If anybody wants to name their boy or girl Harris, I fully approve of that.

Oh, good to know.

I'm sure people were shouting at their TV screens back then.

There just wasn't as much social media to really get around.

It was harder to cut through the noise back then.

We have a pitch for merch, which would be be a box of smints, but the logo says Quaid Army.

Love.

That'd be good.

Yeah.

A little insight.

You could also do a Molson.

Oh, yeah.

Molson label that says Quaid Army, like a Molson bottle.

Well, after drinking all those Molson, you're going to need a Smith.

Well, that's right.

They do come hand in hand.

It is.

Yeah, it's hand-in-hand.

Especially if you're hoping to do some necking.

This is it from, hey, guys, big Frasier file here.

Part of the crane train.

Cool.

What part is sadder?

The tossed salads or the scrambled eggs?

Something to think about.

I mean, I always imagine the scrambled eggs were kind of like left in the pan.

It's like the amount that didn't get eaten.

Right, you're too depressed to eat it.

They're like lonely and cold.

Whereas the tossed salads, I mean, they're tossed, they're exciting.

They're living their best, you know?

You guys disagree?

Yeah, well, in Seattle, it rains a lot, so I just picture there's rain out the window when both of those things are happening.

I imagine you pan off of the cold scrambled eggs to the window where there's rain.

He does say, baby, I hear the blues are calling, right?

Yeah.

Out the window.

Yeah, so there is a sadness there.

Oh, for sure.

But then it's tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

So this person's asking, which one is more sad between the two?

That's how I picture it.

I picture it ending with him just looking at what he's created, looking down at his food, being like, I can't eat either.

He's thinking, I'm too fucking depressed.

I've never actually thought about it, but he is a psychologist on the air.

People are calling who are sad.

And is toss salads and scrambled eggs like a really callous, rude way of calling like people's brains?

Yeah.

Okay, this one's important.

Sorry, I was fucking totally checked out because I was trying to read through to find a good one.

Hey, Quaids, Jake Gyllenhal isn't the only Laser Cat alum to play Iyago in Othello.

This is really to Seth.

In the early 90s, Christopher Walken, star of Laser Cats 3D, played Iago in a production of Othello in Central Park for Shakespeare in the Park.

Whoa.

Okay.

All right.

We're making a lot of connections on this episode.

But I'm sure it will say it in the playbill for anything Walken has done post Laser Cats.

I'm going to try to go see that show soon, and I'll let you guys know how he does his Iago.

I'll be very critical because I saw that

walk-in performance, and so I'll be able to tell you who did it better.

Oh, I'm actually really excited to hear your thoughts on that.

Yeah, I didn't hear the see-to-walk-in thing, though.

That part was untrue.

Oh, less interested now, then.

I got what I wanted in terms of I knew somebody was going to be able to tell me about the Pittsburgh bar I was talking about.

I love that Pittsburgh bar.

As a card-carrying member of the Kuwait Army here in Pittsburgh, I'm like 90% sure the bar Kiva is referencing is Goosekis in Polish Hill.

I went there a lot when we were there.

It's a punk bar that serves pierogies all night, as is customary.

I had many abnormal ones there.

A normal ones.

What I like about Goosekis is that it feels a little bit like you might get punched in the face there, which I think is a very good sign for any kind of dive-y dive bar.

You're right.

I did not feel it entirely.

Me and Liz were playing pool in the back, and I didn't feel 100% physically safe.

Yes.

And I think that that is a good sign for a bar, a good bar.

Yeah, I agree.

If people don't want me there.

I mean, mean, it's kind of part of the definition of a dive bar.

It's baked in.

It's a great name.

Goosekies.

Goose is a great name.

Yeah.

Let's go there.

I remember it because it's when me and Tom Hanks were hanging out when he was shooting that movie.

Did you go to Gooskies together?

Who's Tom Hanks?

No.

Yeah, I only know Tommy.

How's your foot doing, by the way?

Wait, wait, I do have a

actual question.

So it ended with, had many a normal ones there.

Is that a Pittsburgh slang, or is Normal Ones a Pittsburgh beer?

Or is that a way to say?

I believe that's Pittsburgh slang, but I don't know.

Weigh in on the comments.

Yeah, is that just mean like a normal beer?

Yeah, or like a good night.

Like, I had many normal ones there.

Yeah, what do yins think about that?

Yeah, yins weigh in.

What do yins think?

I'll chuck down an icy light.

You know what I mean?

How'd it go?

Oh my god, here he is.

Oh, fuck, Seth's back.

Yay, we were off the rails.

Did you set a timer to be like, gotta get in before they're quite done?

We let loose, Seth.

It was bad.

I just got a text that I heard you were still going.

Seth, what do normal ones mean in Pittsburgh?

What do normal ones mean?

What do normal ones mean in Pittsburgh?

I don't even think I know the answer to that.

It's beers brewed in or associated with Pittsburgh include Iron City beer, Rolling Rock, and Penn Brewery.

Yeah, that's the Icy Light I was talking about.

But this guy that wrote in talking about the Goosekis, which was the bar I was referencing, said had many a normal ones there.

Interesting.

And we were saying, oh, is that a cool Pittsburgh way of calling out a beer, having had a brewski?

I do feel like you should know this, Seth.

I would not, I will admit that my connection to Pittsburgh is as a child visiting my grandparents, so we weren't doing a lot of brews.

Yeah, but being a Steelers fan, don't you kind of need to know this stuff?

Yeah, but I only drink, you know, red wines when I'm at the game.

Understood.

Yeah, irregular ones.

But do we all agree, sound off in the comments, that Seth can't really be a true Steelers fan until he goes to Goosekis and has a normal one?

I'll talk to Goose Keys.

Seth, how hard do you think Andy was sighing at your voice not?

I think he was sighing because they were going better than he thought they would.

That is actually part of what happened.

It was both.

He sighed for multiple reasons.

That did happen, but it was mixed in with a lot of vitriol.

Well, I mean, I'm deeply excited to hear, you know, the outcome of my efforts.

How much did you talk about hausers, the two hausers?

We did get into that a little.

I had to stop everything to go, whoa.

Yeah.

I almost don't want to spoil it for you, especially because I want you to have to listen to this.

You know what?

It's always a good podcast episode: you do the whole thing for an hour, and then someone comes on and you do like a five-minute recap of that hour for the audience.

So, Seth, next week, though, when we have you, we can talk about the actual episodes as well as the thing.

But I like, for instance, we don't have to talk about it now, but I see something called Gitmo ad.

And on here, at least, it's claiming that it's Solomon Tacone Kenward Schaffer.

Of course, these things sometimes get the credits wrong.

It'll be fun to watch.

I don't know what that is.

I'm very curious if we helped because it's a videotape.

So maybe we helped because it's pre-tape.

Yeah.

But I have no clue what that is.

I mean, obviously it didn't come from us.

My name's last, but you're second, Yorm.

I don't know what.

I don't know what Gitmo ad's going to be.

I know Yorm had a lot of Guatanamo Bay takes.

He would always come in and be like, and we'd be like, take it somewhere else, Jorm.

That's not our brand.

And just kept being like, is this the week?

Are we ready?

Are we fucking ready?

He would always say, if it's not a Magruber week, I think it's probably Gitmo week for me.

I got to get this Gitmo thing started.

Yeah, he thought he had a franchise.

He would come in.

He's like, do you think it's a good week for Gitmo or Slaw?

The second seth came back i started doing spelling bee again

man i gotta go i just wanted to check in on you guys oh what are you up to man everyone wants to know why you're too busy because i host a talk show it's hard to do both no you're the one who wanted to do the podcast get your priorities straight seriously

i did agree to it when there was a strike and it obviously ended a lot sooner than i thought it would you agreed to it you forced the issue it was you being like hey would you ever do this it's my idea seth my team will be in charge also i bet way more more people listening to this podcast than watch your show.

I think that's right.

That can't be right.

Is that his, what hat are you wearing, Yorma?

It's a Mets hat.

It's the weirdest Mets hat I've ever seen.

Is that the font for the Met?

I would believe it was for the Metropolitan Opera.

That's what I mean.

It seems like it's for the Mets.

That's correct.

It's like a hipster, I'm an asshole, Mets fan hat.

Yeah.

This guy's all sports.

We already covered in the Seth.

You'll learn it.

Seth, how many are you in on Spelling Bee?

How many did you get?

Today's a disaster.

It's one of those days where...

It's really, it's a bad one.

I mean, I'm like 10 away i hated it andy's been half defocused the whole time and i'm like we can't have that today because we don't have seth keeping things moving oh i see when i'm around andy can sort of one eye on the bee but yeah but today it's it's a problem he's gone back to it hard as soon as you popped on as soon as you're back he's right back to i'm five away but it's like it's a lot of words well i'll probably i'm almost certainly going to hints you know The thing I wanted to come on and say, and then I'm going to hang up immediately, is I love you guys.

I'm so glad because when we got to your last one and you said, I love you, you, I was like, the fucking show over?

No?

So now I know the show.

You got confused.

He's gone.

Oh, he really dropped off.

Okay.

All right.

Love you too.

Bye.

That was a great episode.

Okay, color.

That's always what I'll say, I guess.

Do you guys want any other?

Jeff did compile a bunch of questions.

Do you want to hit one more and then we'll say goodbye?

Can we do like a speed round?

All right.

Seth saying, I love you means we're at the end of the program.

So speed round for questions.

Keep, go.

Well, it's a little long, so I'll just read one, but I have not read it all the way through.

This is from Isabel.

Hi, Akiva, Andy, Yorma, and Seth.

I have been a fan for a while and enjoy most everything you guys do.

Something I have noticed over the years and across several Lonely Island projects are mentions of geese.

After the big drump in Hot Rod, Scrooge comes out with a cooked goose for everyone in Boombox, obviously, several

mentions of boiled goose.

There's another song featuring geese called I Don't Give a Honk.

It's the sound that a goose makes.

A stretch, but we'll

also did an update feature.

Andy did an update feature with Seth as Larry the goose.

And most recently in the hot rod episode of The Pod, I believe you mentioned that you were goose guys.

And we talked about goosekeys.

Yeah, we just talked about goose goose.

Yeah, this is an appropriate question.

Maybe that's our actual place we should be all the time is goose.

We don't even like the Steelers.

I was just wondering what draws you to geese specifically.

What is their comedic appeal?

Well, I can't explain it.

I mean, I mean, it's the reason goosekies is a great name for a bar.

It's just fun to say.

I think that's all it is.

This is a really nice observation and really makes us look in the mirror.

So really, we just say thank you, I think, to this.

Yeah.

And my last little addendum to that is that when I was five years old, I was bitten by a goose.

So maybe it's from that.

Maybe it's like a radiation, like Spider-Man thing.

Oh, yeah, it's your sort of radioactive goose.

Addressing and maybe eradicating the trauma by normalizing it.

Taking it back.

Taking it back.

Yeah.

Wow.

Damn.

We just got so real.

Well, why don't we just wrap up there with a goose comment?

All right, goose army.

Wait, are we changing it?

Yeah, we're changing it.

The goose key army.

if we change it to the goose army jack quay is gonna be stoked oh yeah hey quado but the guy who played goose and top gun is in for a world of hurt yeah we're just goose we're just um anthony edwards we're just gooseheads here sorry anthony that i didn't remember your name off the top when they were really trying to write maverick and they're sitting there and they're like what would goose anthony edwards is the basketball player is the other guy's name also I'm sorry, I forgot I was dealing with two sports nuts here who aren't going to remember.

You're right.

I never put together that they're both named Anthony Edwards.

You think we got another Dookie Hauser situation here?

Another Douglas Hauser?

Do you think Anthony Edwards, the actor, is constantly being mistaken for Anthony Edwards, the basketball player?

Yeah.

Like he'll give his credit card at a restaurant and they're like, hey, good luck in the playoffs.

It's like the Will Smith who plays for the Dodgers.

Every time they introduce Will Smith at the Dodger game, everyone goes, oh, here he comes, men in black.

And then, well, it's just a different guy, though.

It's just a Dodgers player.

And then you're like, that makes more sense.

Keeve, can I be honest?

I mostly was making that joke so that i could bring yorm back into the convo because he's a basketball guy yeah he's like a sports nut well i was with two sports nuts slam dunk pick and roll set oh you guys talk about ant-man oh he's definitely on the rise will he be the future face of the nba who can say i'm yorm so they call anthony edwards the sports player ant-man yes that's interesting because there's another ant-man did you know that mr paul rudd that's right it's a comic book character but that's just coincidence they called him ant-man before that comic book was written well i wonder if when paul rudd and anthony edwards the basketball player are in the same place and someone goes hey ant-man they both turn.

Right.

I'd say yes.

And they both turn at the same time and they go, yes.

What?

Not again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd venture to guess when all three are there.

ER is Ant-Man.

Oh my God.

When Anthony Edwards from Top Gun, who played Goose, is there too?

Yes.

And someone says, hey, Ant-Man?

Yeah.

Hey, Ant-Man, they all three go, yes.

Right.

What about when Anthony Edwards, the actor, is standing next to a real-life goose?

And someone goes, hey, goose.

And they both turn and then they go,

oh, good.

not a gonk.

Not a gonk.

Dorm,

you be the goose and I'll be the

ready?

And Keith, you say, hey, goose.

Hey, goose.

Gonk?

Aww.

Not again.

Gonk.

Him, goose, or me, goose?

Not a gonk is what the real goose says.

What I was going to ask, though, and it's really important before we sign off, is how long until they came to Rooster for what Goose's son's name would be?

Oh, yeah.

Miles Teller plays Anthony Edwards' son in Maverick, and his name is Rooster.

His rooster.

Because he's cocky, right?

Yeah.

Was it like, did they brainstorm it a long time, or was it like first thought, best thought?

They're like, he's got to be another type of bird, another kind of farm bird.

Fowl.

Another fowl.

Yeah.

And they're like, and he's cocky.

Yeah.

Do you think there was a moment where they were like, should he be guinea fowl?

Right.

I would have pitched geese.

Pheasant.

Like,

turkey.

Yeah.

Turkey.

He should have been call sign turkey.

Oh, yeah.

Call sign turkey.

We got him.

That would have been perfect.

Hey, Miles Teller, member of the Kuwait Army, send in your voice note.

Let us know when you got them to change it from turkey and how you talked old Tommy Cruz into it.

Hey, Tom, Tom, I'm loving it.

Thank you for including me in the projects.

Legacy grew up.

Such a big deal.

Oh, it's good to see you.

Just want to talk about my call sign turkey.

What do you mean?

What about it?

I'm playing Tom Cruise perfectly now.

What about it?

It's just like, it's just not exactly what I feel like is maybe in the vein of like tough, you know, smart, iconic characters like Iceman and Maverick.

Right.

And then here I am, Turkey.

Okay, so, I mean, we spent a lot of time brainstorming it, but what do you have in mind?

We already printed the helmet.

I mean, hit me with your best shot.

What do you got?

What's the pitch?

How about, does this do anything for you?

Hold up.

I couldn't even get through it.

You're...

Hold up.

You're going to be a chicken?

No, let me do it again.

Oh, yeah, I guess chicken does work.

Rooster, I guess it has been a while since the second or third version of Annie came out.

That was our concern with Rooster.

Right, the Tim Curry character.

He's like, everyone will be confused.

Yeah, they'll think you're the con artist from Annie.

Exactly.

That's right.

Hear me out.

I don't think they will.

Done.

Listen, Tommy, while we're on the subject of just simple rewrites, you think you could give me one of those shower scenes like DF had in

season three of NYVD Blue?

Right before our mission, we all just get in the shower and slow pan down our backsides.

Hit me with three shots of my butt.

All right, love you guys.

See you next week.

All right, love you guys.

Love you guys.