Lose the Ego, Win With Money

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

I'm Dave Ramsey, your host.

My co-host today is Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, co-host of the Smart Money Happy Hour hit on Ramsey Networks, and my daughter.

We're going to be here and tell you the truth all day.

We're going to talk about you, baby, right in front of you.

The phone number is 888-825-5225.

You jump in and we're here to help.

Herman is in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Hey, Herman, what's up?

Hey, Dave, how's it going?

Better than I deserve.

How can I help?

Hi, so my call is quick and simple.

Hopefully, I

am a married man, and I have a wife that is a spender, and I just want to know what can I do to get her more on board with the Dave Ramsey plan.

We went to FPU.

I watch her show pretty much every single day, and I try to tell her things.

I send her YouTube shorts, and I just feel like there's nothing I can say or do that makes her change her ways.

And I just, I don't know what to do anymore.

I think we're going to phone a friend.

We're going to call Winston, Rachel's husband, and ask him how he dealt.

I was like,

Rachel being a spender.

Perfect combo to show her.

We can do that.

I'm cool with that.

Okay, well, my question is to you, how are you approaching it?

Like, have you guys sat down and had actual real conversations, or has it been not that it's passive-aggressive to send

are you throwing Ramsey or YouTube grenades?

Is that all you're doing?

No, no, no, no.

So we have had heart-to-hearts.

And what's her rebuttal to her conversations?

There is no rebuttal.

That's the thing.

The thing is, just when the example is,

my brother's about to have a baby, and she decided to throw a baby shower.

And we spent about $700

on that.

And we're in baby step.

Because of that, we're back in baby step one.

And that's the kind where I'm like,

you know, I and she's super nice, she's a great person, super giving, a little too giving sometimes when we need to take care of our stuff, you know.

So, I don't know how or what to say to get her to do this Dave Ramsey plan.

Well, quit saying Dave Ramsey for one thing,

okay.

Yeah, I'm probably gonna turn me into a dadgum cuss word in your house, man.

Yeah, yeah, you kind of are already, yeah,

too late, yeah.

You're okay, so number one, I'll let Rachel chime in too, but most guys make this more than gals make this mistake.

You talk about what to do rather than why to do it.

So

you need to pan back and dream together about what life would be like if we had built some wealth

and didn't have the stress of money.

And you've got to get some buy-in in this high-definition dream.

And then,

only then, are people willing to do the hard stuff to get to the dream

right

yeah and I would say I feel like I've done that

yeah well what I'm wondering though again is too for spouses especially with money because it's such a hot it's such a hot button because it does it causes so much stress and conflict and so for you Herman I want it I would want the conversations more so to go not pointing at her and saying, you did this, you did this, you're doing this, you're a spender, you're out of control, you spent $800, you, you, you.

What's going on with you, Herman, right?

And coming to her in a sense to say, hey, as your husband, I have some fear around this.

This makes me,

when I look at the pattern,

what I'm scared about is that we're not going to have financial security.

We have a lot of debt.

If something happens, like, like, what is going on within you?

Because it can easily become, you don't mean it to be, but it can become the blame game of she's the problem and you're the savior in the situation, right?

And so for her to understand where you're going from, what you were just saying, it's not the what, we got to get on a budget, you have to stop spending, but it's why, what, what is going on with you?

And then at that point, Herman, you know, if you guys talk through, and it's not that she can never spend money, because that's another thing.

Some people, not that you are this, but some people, right, they go so extreme where the spouse is like, this is the most miserable life because you're giving me $150 right now.

Well, you don't have $1,000 to our name and you spend $700 on a baby shower.

I'm throwing a flag, okay?

Right.

She's out of bounds.

Okay.

Completely out of bounds.

That's like sixth-grade math violation right there.

Okay.

You just don't do that.

An adult knows that boundary, okay?

Yes, I hear you.

But also, I do want to make sure he's giving her the runway to really understand the reality.

Because sometimes people in his situation,

they're running and doing all the logistics of it.

Yeah, I'm just saying.

If we sit down and we say, this is how much money we have, and then you go do that, that's a problem.

Yeah, 100%.

No, I agree with that.

Yeah, so anyway, yeah, I'm going to pan back and I'm going to make this a conversation.

So here's the thing.

Maybe we can go this far.

Hey,

I'm worried about this stuff.

This is bothering me.

I'm terrified.

Our current process is not working.

It's hurting our relationship,

and I cannot see a prosperous future with the way we're doing this.

So something's got to change.

Now, sit down here with me and let's talk about what we want our future life to look like, what my friend Henry Cloud calls our desired future.

And then you have to ask yourself what must be true to get to that desired future.

And if she's like, yeah, I'm going to do whatever I want.

Well, you now have a wife problem.

You don't have a money problem.

You know, you have a marriage issue.

You need to go to a marriage counselor.

But most of the time, you're going to get buy-in when you ask questions and pull rather than push.

And when you talk about where we're going rather than how we're going to get there.

Yeah.

And what Simon Sinek calls the why.

Yeah.

And she, to your point, has to live in the reality of the numbers.

You can't live beyond that.

And when she starts to live beyond that, that shows a level of immaturity, honestly, on her end that she can't be an adult and do, you know, fourth-grade math of like, okay, we have this.

We can't overspend here.

Like, right?

Like, there is a point of that.

So I would want to know from her what is causing this.

Yeah.

And I think she is a sweet person, but she's got to be the adult.

That's right.

The second adult in the equation.

You're not a caretaker.

You're not her daddy.

Yes.

You're her husband.

I am not.

I am a partner, and that's what I want.

Exactly.

Amen.

And that's the way she's got to view it, which means she steps up, puts her shoulder in the harness with you, and together we pull this.

This is two grown-ups.

Yeah.

And

my hunch is.

And then you can argue about what we spend on the shower.

Sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But my hunch is from what he's saying and from what we experience a lot on the show with callers when it comes to

money and marriage issues,

80% of it's usually a marriage issue or an individual issue.

It's not just the math.

Yeah, it's a communication thing.

Yeah, so you're probably going to start to,

if you keep digging in and you guys keep getting to that level of conversation, it's going to start to reveal other things within the marriage and the relationship, which is great because this is the point of where a lot of couples separate everything and like, this is just too hard.

We're going to just do our own individual thing.

And that's a disaster.

And that's a disaster, right?

So even when it gets hard, continue to push in because those places of struggle and conflict, that's where intimacy is built, and that's where you build a strong foundation of a great marriage, is when you get through those conflicts.

So, see it as

a relationship-building opportunity moment, Herman.

That's what we could say.

That was so sweet.

Yes,

it's an opportunity to grow, it is to deepen the relationship,

so we don't kill each other.

But I know you're annoyed, so we don't kill each other, I hear that.

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Sarah is in Georgia.

Hi, Sarah.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Good afternoon.

I'm a landlord, and

I've had a tenant for a couple of years with no real issues until now.

According to the lease, she's supposed to report any maintenance problems to me so I can take care of them.

But today, out of the blue, I got a call at work from a plumbing company saying they fixed a water issue at the rental back in January and that the $660 bill had never been paid.

This was the first I had even heard there was a problem.

So I was thinking about it.

So your tenant authorized a bill for you to pay without you agreeing to it.

Yes, and it was actually a pretty simple fix that my husband could have taken care of and not costed either of us much money.

Have you called the tenant?

I have reached out to the tenant, and her response was she just didn't want to bother me and she just hadn't had the money to pay the bill yet, but it's within January.

And is the bill the work under her name?

No, it is.

It is?

Oh, it's under her name, but it's on her house it's on Sarah's house.

Yeah.

Well, the plumber's not going to lean the tenant.

The plumber's going to put a lien on Sarah's house.

And it's January, six months overdue.

So this is a sweet person who's not very smart.

Yes.

How long has she been your tenant?

A little over two years.

Okay.

And I mean, I've never had any issues with her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How much is the rent?

Um, It's $12.50 a month.

And how much do you have in deposit?

$12.60.

One month's rent.

Okay.

And how much is the bill?

$650.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to pay it because you're going to have a problem if you don't.

But I'm also going to have

a sit-down with the tenant, probably in person.

And really clearly explain because this lady's not bright, and you're going to have to be real clear.

You don't have to be mean, but you need to be blunt

okay like this is 650 that i would not have had to pay if you had picked up the phone and called me don't you ever do this again

if you do you won't be living here that kind of clear

oh that's exactly how your husband would handle it because that's how i trained him right well i know let me so if i mean he's handling my rental property right now so if there's somebody doesn't because you need to be clear because this is a dumb butt thing you do but does this she may not know I know, she's not bright.

So you're going to have to tell her real clear because she's not going to get it otherwise.

And, you know, Sarah, you're not going, you're probably not going to be as nasty as I am, but I want you to be very clear.

I'm not trying to be mean.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I do want this to, I want it to activate a little bit of emotion in the tenants so that they don't do it again.

Yes.

And then you need to pay the bill to me because I'm going to go ahead and pay it.

And if you don't,

I'm considering an additional rent.

And if you don't, we're going to have another problem.

So you need to get me paid.

Now, how can you get me paid back?

You want to pay half of it a month for the next two months on top of your rent?

I'll work with you on that.

I'll try to help you.

But listen, my husband usually does these repairs.

And it wouldn't have cost us $650.

It would cost me $14 in parts from Home Depot and my husband's sweat.

And

that's the way we do it, darling.

And so next time you have a problem, you do, you're not bothering me.

This bothers me.

That won't bother me.

So, you know, and just, you can be, and I know you meant well.

That's fine.

That's all good.

But we need to draw a line and go, this doesn't happen again.

Because I'm not worried about this bill.

Because worst case, she never pays it.

You take it out of her deposit when she leaves, right?

Right.

You're not going to be out of pocket.

But,

but

I'm trying to keep it from happening again because what's the next one?

She has a septic tank replaced and it's $6,000?

I mean, my God, what is it?

Was this woman?

It's like, you know,

people do stuff.

So, yeah, this is welcome to landlording.

Yeah, I would, but you want to be very, very clear.

You're in Georgia.

I'm in Tennessee.

I learned with team members many years ago that I was trying to be nice,

southern, passive-aggressive, sweet tea.

And in the name of all of that, I wasn't being clear.

And I was getting frustrated, and they didn't know because I was being so indirect and working around the edges.

And so now we have a saying around Ramsey when it comes to communicating internally: to be unclear is to be unkind.

So you want to be kind to her by being very clear with her.

Because if this comes up again, it's going to be a real problem, isn't it, Sarah?

Absolutely.

I mean, I'm very, I mean, it's very aggravating to get

that.

She'll have

some piss and vinegar in it.

I can hear it from you, Sarah.

Okay.

I'm just giving you permission as a fellow landlord to be very clear.

You don't have to be mean that's not what i'm saying but that's not what we're saying but we are saying i it's more mean for this lady to not get the message she needs to get the mail she needs to open the email read it is only it's not an email it's in person and then i would follow it up with an email or a letter writing that you know this has happened and we understand this time, but this is not to happen again.

All future repairs need to be cleared with us before they are done.

And then if you wrote the email, the next paragraph would be like, or I'm kicking you out.

I'm evicting you.

That's what you said.

Your first response was like, I'm so, man, I got just, this is.

I know.

You don't have a lot of patience.

No, it just, it doesn't.

I hear you, though.

I hear you.

Yeah, you need to understand there's consequences.

This is not how we're going to do this deal.

Okay.

That's right.

And we're not going to operate this way.

Rochester, New York, Jeff's on the phone.

Hey, Jeff, what's up?

Hi, Dave.

Thanks for taking my call.

Sure.

How can I help?

So I recently stumbled across your show.

I've watched your baby steps explained a couple of times, and it's got me on fire to really nail down my finances.

So I'm on baby step two.

I've got a few loans to pay off, and I've got some savings.

I'm thinking of taking those savings and wiping out those debts and moving on to baby step three.

Awesome.

But my dad and my mother-in-law, both independently,

suggested that I put the money towards my mortgage instead.

And I want to take

anything out of the market.

You're married.

I'm missing.

Do you work for them?

No, I went to them for counsel.

I just wanted to get their advice.

Oh, okay.

So you asked them to vote on this.

Okay.

Yes.

Well, I mean, you've got to decide what you think is wise, what they said or what we say.

Okay.

I think their advice is stupid.

I think they mean well,

but it's dumb.

Okay.

We have led more people out of debt into millionaire net worth than any other organization operating in America today.

And neither one of them worked for me.

All right.

So, I mean, it's

this process works, in other words.

It's a proven process.

If you follow it all the way through,

and you follow it in order, too.

That's another thing, is some people go out of order and all of it, and you're not going to see the progress as quickly.

Yeah.

Jeff, if you paid off all of your debt today,

how much of your income would you save per month that would not be going out in payments?

About $500 a month.

Okay.

Okay.

And how much is your debt total, huh?

$12,500.

Okay.

All right.

And so

if you put

$1,000 away, you're going to put $12,000 back in one year, agreed?

How much can you put on your baby step three if you don't have any debt to build your emergency fund back up because you're using your savings to clear your debt?

How much a month can you put back into savings with no debt payments?

I'm thinking right around $1,000 a month.

Okay.

Yeah.

I want you to crank that up to about $1,500

and

get on beans and rice, rice and beans, and let's get that emergency fund rebuilt.

I need that.

For your sake, I want you to have...

What's your household income?

About $75K.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, I want you to have 20 grand set aside for emergencies, grandma's rainy day fund.

And how much have you got in there today in savings?

Right now I've got about 22 and a half.

Perfect.

Okay, so you're going to take it down to 10

by writing a check for 12 and a half, correct?

That's right, yeah.

And then you got to raise it back up to 20.

And if you do that at $1,500 a month, you're done in like seven months.

And that would be my plan if I'm you.

Amen.

And then get on through and let's get the investing going and start paying off the house and babysitters four, five, and six.

But

get that consumer debt cleared out, Jeff.

From a mathematical and an emotional standpoint, when you have no payments, it frees you up.

Yeah.

Now, the one vote that does count is your wife's, and so the two of you need to be in agreement on that before you move forward.

But that's what we would tell both of you to do.

So, and again, your parents mean well, but their plan's dumb.

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Harrison is in Atlanta.

Hey, Harrison, what's up?

Dave, how are you?

Better than I deserve, man.

How can I help?

Amazing.

So, Dave, I'm trying to figure out my next move I have thirty four thousand dollars in student loans on one loan another twelve thousand dollars on another student loan and then a 17,000 car loan

and I'm you know getting help I'm also at the same time getting help with a down payment and I was just hope and I'm hoping to buy a house soon so but the thing is I'm worried about you know all the costs that come with ownership you know and with my debt

and so I just want to ask you know should I hit pause on buying and focus on paying off this debt first and keep renting with my high rental in Atlanta?

And if so, you know, how should I attack this debt and, you know, what, you know, should be my force towards that?

So you're single?

Yes, sir.

You're 24?

I'm 26.

Pretty close.

Okay.

Good guess.

All right.

What do you make?

I make $130,000 a year.

Cool.

What do you do?

Medical device sales.

Good for you.

Good career.

Nice.

Well done.

All right.

Cool.

So you don't have to talk anybody into this but you.

Okay.

And

I think you already kind of you've got,

let me tell you what I think I heard coming out of your mouth.

And you tell me if I was right.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, I may be wrong, okay, because I may have missed it.

But I think I heard a lot of people in your life going, buy house, buy house, buy house, buy house.

Everybody's got to buy house, buy house, buy house.

Crap, man, you make $130,000, buy house, buy house, buy house wasting money on rents you're throwing that money down a rat hole buy house buy house and then i think you're fairly analytical dude and you're a very detailed person and you started going yeah but if i take on all those expenses and i've got all this this that doesn't feel right to you

correct did i reach your mail or not

No, I think that's 100% right.

You know, I've just heard about horror stories of someone buying a house, you know, at this age and

they have to replace a roof, water heater, whatever it might be.

And that kind of worries me with the debt that I'm currently in.

We have found that home ownership is a key to building wealth.

It's one of the two things that causes people to get their first one to $5 million of net worth.

So it's very important.

So we're big on you getting a house.

However, when you're broke, like you are, and you buy a house,

it will make you broker.

That's why they call them brokers.

And so,

yeah, it's a mess.

And, you know, you got to have an extra bedroom for Sally Mae.

Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Yeah.

So if I'm you, I'm cleaning up the debt.

And you, the good news is $63,000, you make $130,000.

If you don't have a life for a year,

you could be debt-free.

Yeah.

Now, that's going to be really hard.

You're single in Atlanta making bank, but I just put you in jail.

Okay.

I put you in the apartment jail.

You can't do nothing.

You're not allowed to go out to eat.

All you do is work and pay debt.

You know what would make you sick, Harrison, considering how analytical you are, if you go to ramseysolutions.com and pull up our investment calculator and just put in the amount of money you're paying towards your student loans and your car loan every month.

And instead, if you had invested that at 26 to 65,

It will be, I bet it'll be over $3 million.

B-5.

If you are paying yourself versus paying someone else.

So that's the mindset you have to have: that you're paying other people your income, where you could be paying yourself that income for a down payment and/or even investing long-term.

So have your income work for you, not other people.

So that's why getting out of debt is the smartest thing to do, especially before buying a house, because you're exactly right.

Home ownership is very expensive.

And if you don't have savings, you have debt, you end up creating more of a stressful situation because there's no margin.

And so paying off the consumer debt first and foremost, getting some some money saved in an emergency fund, and then saving for that down payment.

Then the house is a blessing rather than a curse.

When you move in broke, the house can be a curse.

That makes total sense.

And I guess my follow-up question to that is: I do have a pretty solid, like, I mean, for my age, a solid little fund going on.

Oh, good.

How much is in it?

So I have around $35,000.

Awesome.

And

so my problem with it is I don't know which to pay off first.

I'd pay off the $12,000 student loan, the $17,000 car.

Okay.

Your two smallest debts.

And then you're going to attack that other debt with a vengeance.

Oh, crap.

Now you're out of debt in like four months, man.

Okay.

You're going to be out of debt in no time.

I should just...

You think I should just use the full emergency fund?

Down down to $1,000.

I'm going to send you a copy of the book, The Total Money Makeover.

It's going to teach you the baby steps on steroids, okay?

And the baby steps are $1,000 saved as baby step one.

Two is pay off all your debts except your home, smallest to largest in that order, only keeping $1,000 of non-retirement income.

We don't cash out retirement, but everything else goes on the debt.

We clear the debt because, as Rachel said, your most powerful wealth-building tool is your income, and that investment calculator will make you puke if you don't do this.

And so, go do it.

And so, knock this stuff out like your hair was on fire.

Be prepared for family and friends to think you've lost your mind.

Okay, broke people will make fun of your wealth-building plan.

Okay?

Count on it.

Count on it.

Because an interesting thing, one of the things we studied when we studied 10,000 millionaires, one of the things they attribute to becoming a millionaire is they quit caring what other people thought.

That makes sense.

That's definitely a problem of mine right now.

It's a problem with me.

It's a problem with every human that breathes.

We all want affirmation.

We all want to be liked.

We all want people to think we're brilliant.

But when broke people are making fun of your financial plan, it's like fat people making fun of your diet.

Okay.

I mean, come on.

So you just got it, you got to think about it.

That's how we get at it.

So Rachel's exactly right.

You get that debt paid off, build up that emergency fund, then save up a down payment.

Dude, you're going to be there in two years.

It's going to be quick.

You're going to be sitting in a nice home in two years making, by then, $160 because you're on an arc with this career of yours.

It's not going to get...

inflation raises.

You're going to see 10, 20, 30% hits on this thing.

So you're going to do great, man.

But I like how self-aware you you are harrison because

well because he said way i do i do care but he says i i care about what people think so it's a good notion to remember the ego hates this plan the ego wants to say i'm making a hundred and thirty thousand dollars a year and i'm 26 years old look at the restaurants i can go to go out with my friends the car i drive where i live because he even mentioned it's an expensive rent where he is in atlanta like right like every part of your lifestyle gets shut down and so much of what we equate our success and who we are and what makes us feel good and inflates that ego in us is this and so good line when you stop that thank you what'd you say

that's a good line thank you i'll take that compliment thanks dave uh ego hates this plan it does it does so harrison is about yeah so be on guard of that where your emotions are going to kind of spike in that that you're not going to want this but i'm telling you it is going to be it's going to release you from a lot because like you said though when you don't care what people think.

When you're doing busting through change, change is frustrating.

Yes.

Learning, by its nature, is frustrating because you're doing and taking in things you didn't know before.

And there's a level of angst that goes with that.

And it's real easy to...

get an entitlement mentality and act like a four-year-old on the cereal aisle and have a meltdown because I can't get fruit loops.

Yeah, right.

It's like, I deserve this.

I work so hard.

And, you know, but you're 56 and you sound like you're four.

You know, and it's like, I work so hard.

Like we all don't work hard.

I mean, give me a break.

That's just whining called the whambulance.

But you're exactly right.

That's good.

That's very good.

You're going to do this.

I can tell, man.

Hang on.

We're going to send you a copy of Total Money Makeover.

Make sure you get in gear.

And you call us back and tell us when you're debt-free.

You can do your debt-free screen right here, man.

It's awesome, Harrison.

Good luck.

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Thanks for joining us, America.

Cody's in Wisconsin.

Hey, Cody, what's up?

How are you?

Thank you for taking my call.

Sure.

How can we help?

So quick question.

Make a long story short.

About a year ago, my mother passed away due to cancer.

I have two sisters, older sisters.

And

me and my middle sister, we knew that the oldest sister was going to be left out of the will.

My oldest sister, unfortunately, kind of stepped away from the family.

And the day of the services, my oldest sister found out from a will that she had located that she would not be receiving any inheritance.

Needless to say,

things have been tight with the fair tough with the family.

We haven't spoken for a while.

I'm feeling guilt that maybe some of my inheritance to bring the family back together, I should give that up.

And I'm not talking a significant amount of money.

It's probably $50,000, $60,000 worth of liquid funds and maybe $100,000 of investments were my share.

You know, very significant, something that my family can use and benefit from.

But I just wanted to kind of get an outside perspective on what your thoughts might be for this situation.

Wow.

That's painful.

I'm sorry.

Well, your mother should have handled this when she was alive.

And I had that conversation, and I begged her to please put a letter in writing so that she understands why.

But things happened faster than we anticipated, and that letter was never written.

Yeah.

But she had not spoken to your older sister, not spoken to your mom in several years, apparently.

It was a while, and she was in.

Well, how long was a while?

They small talked,

but

she would never help out with any doctor's appointments, medical issues, problems.

And there was certainly some

problems that they had between the two of them that they never sat down and talked.

But it was, she would have probably been away from the family for maybe 10 years.

Cody,

what was your mom's reason to keep her out?

Because there just wasn't a relationship there?

Correct.

Yeah, there wasn't a relationship.

My father passed away from a stroke.

We kind of got back together.

The family was on terms.

My sister moved into my mother's house in the wintertime as my mother snowbird into down to Texas.

Once my sister realized that the house wasn't going to be given to her because my mom needed to move somewhere smaller.

And then she wasn't involved again for numerous years until my mom passed.

So I understand the olive branch you're wanting to extend, but I'm going to be honest, it feels like she's coming back into the family not out of a relational desire.

She has to be paid to get back into the family, right?

Like, that feels weird to me.

And I agree, that's just something I don't necessarily want to admit to, but that's certainly something on the back of my mind.

Yeah.

Yeah, because if I'm hurt and I want a relationship with my siblings,

then there's not, then you call up and have a relationship

to be motivated by money.

Anyone who's got any, I mean, this is a fairly cut-and-dried deal.

You didn't do this, your mom did this.

So, if your sister wants to be angry with someone, it would be with your mom.

And so, how can I

reconcile someone else's

issues?

I can only reconcile my issues.

So if I have offended someone, I can go to them if I want to and reach out an olive branch.

But I can't reach out an olive branch on behalf of someone else.

And

that's not how relationships work.

And so you can't make her okay.

You can't make your older sister not be mad at your mom.

Right.

No matter what you do, because it's not your place.

I mean, you're not in that position.

Only your mom could have done that.

Only that they're the only ones that could have reconciled while your mom was still here.

It's so sad.

It is.

And I don't think any amount of money, too, is going to make her happy.

No.

I mean, it sounds like it's.

This lady's not.

Your oldest sister is just not a happy person either.

Right.

Am I right?

Or is that overstating that?

No, I don't think so.

Okay.

all right so i think it's um

so i would i would go to her and say i would love a relationship with you like i like you know right if yours is i'd be happy to have coffee with her and say i completely understand that you're pissed at mom vertically cutting you out

i completely understand that

And I'm sorry that that happened.

And it wasn't because of me.

I didn't tell her to.

As a matter of fact, quite the opposite.

I told her to write you a letter.

I told her to tell you what she was doing.

And she didn't do it.

And because it's hurtful.

And I'm so sorry for that and I just leave it at that

I mean you can say the truth the truth is you

you know it may it's awkward it makes you feel bad but you didn't cause it

so no I'm not writing anybody checks in this no the spirit you know emotionally yeah

you know even spiritually there you don't think that there's a no reason or there is a no inheritance is not an entitlement

you're not entitled to money just because you hit the the DNA lottery.

And so, you know, any of you have a, you know, if your parents have money, any of you out there, you are not entitled to their money.

Morally, spiritually, ethically, they can do with it what they want to do with it.

It's called their money.

They don't have to leave it to anyone.

The only thing I tell people all the time is if you're going to piss somebody off in the wheel, have the courage to do it while you're alive.

And that way they don't leave people like you in this

case.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so.

so, Cody, again, just to reiterate, no amount of money is going to mend a relationship.

That's not, it's not.

With your mom, she's in heaven.

I mean, well, no, but with the sister, like him wanting to give the sister money to

be okay.

Yeah, that is not.

It's not a lot of all of it.

And she's not going to be okay.

That's not what money's for, right?

It will not do that.

It will have that power.

Yep, I agree.

But a gesture of saying, of empathy, saying, I

get that you're hurt.

I would be hurt too.

I understand that, and I'm sorry.

I feel badly that you are in this situation.

I didn't put you here, but I understand

that your heart is torn by this, and I'm so sorry.

Then give me some money.

No, that's not what this is about.

This is about me telling you, I understand that you're hurt.

I didn't make these decisions,

and

it is somewhat unethical to not abide by someone's will.

Right.

Because, you know, it is my will that you do so-and-so.

And that's where the name will comes from.

It's what your mother wanted.

It's what I want.

It's my will.

And so

to not do what she wanted with her money is a bit unethical.

I'm trying to use it to mend a relationship.

And to Rachel's point, which is really the core of the whole discussion, is money won't do that.

If the only way money can build a relationship, I mean, there's only one kind of relationship that money does, and it's called prostitution.

Oh, my God.

I mean, that's it.

There's only one thing that you're buying love.

I was saying a gold digger, you know?

Well, I mean, similar version.

Yeah, but

you're buying relationship.

And what that is, is it's not a real relationship.

It's a counterfeit

because it's not based based on reality.

And so I think I'm going to give you full permission, Cody, too, to have a discernment if you want relationship with her, right?

And if you do, extend that part of you,

but also don't feel like you absolutely have to mend something right now because it does sound like, you know, there's a bit of a mess too.

But if you do feel that in your own conscience, that it would be good for you to have a conversation with her, then do it.

Absolutely.

I would just be forewarned that I'm not, part of the conversation is I'm not going to be guilt-tripped.

I'm not going, you're not going to transfer your anger from mom to me.

We're not going to be able to do that.

Yeah, I'm not going to be a punching bag for you.

I'm not going to sit here and do that.

I can empathize with you, but I don't have to get beat up by you.

And so I don't need to do that either.

And I don't know this lady's modus operanda.

I don't know where she's coming from.

But sometimes when you're trying to help mend things where things are broken, there's a little transference.

And so you get mad at the wrong thing.

Yeah.

And that could happen.

I don't, I mean, what do I know?

But it could happen.

So, yeah, that's a good question.

Everyone needs a will.

If you don't have your will, go to mama bearlegalforms.com and get it done.

70% of Americans die without a will.

70% of Americans are broke.

I wonder if there's a correlation.

People that take care of money take care of money.

People that take care of their family take care of their family.

There's a correlation.

Get your stinking will done, done, all of you.

Statistics show that half of Americans don't have enough life insurance or they don't have any at all.

I don't understand this, John.

Why don't people people want to take care of their family?

They think they're going to die or something?

Well, I used to be one of those guys.

I didn't even think about it.

And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids.

And I immediately went and got term life insurance.

That's a gut punch.

And oh, you're telling me, and for decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse.

They've lost somebody important to them.

Me too.

They don't know what to do next.

Me too.

I mean, you're going to have a crisis here.

And, you know, you got two options while you're sitting and talking to a young widow.

She's concerned about how she's going to invest all this money properly and not mess this up, or she's concerned how she's going to eat tomorrow.

That's exactly these are the two options.

And turn your hands.

Take care of your dadgum family, man.

Term life insurance can replace income, pay off debts, cover funeral expenses, so your family can actually...

have the opportunity to just be sad.

Yeah.

To just miss you.

That's exactly what it's supposed to be.

It's saying I love you to your family.

Term life insurance.

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show.

We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, co-host of the Smart Money Happy, our hit on the Ramsey Networks.

My daughter is my co-host today.

Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Melissa is in Las Vegas.

Hi, Melissa.

How are you?

I'm doing good.

Thanks for having me on the show.

Sure.

How can I help?

So my previous marriage was very financially abusive um i've been divorced for four years and was able to build myself back up but i'm looking to get remarried in the next year or two and sharing finances just feels really scary i know that's what you guys recommend but uh the jump back into that and sharing finances and doing all that feels scary so i wonder if you guys have any tips for me

It should feel scary.

I mean, that would be

very awesome.

It'd be weird for you if it didn't.

You'd be a weirdo.

I mean, you got stung.

You got stung, so hanging out with bees should feel scary.

Yeah.

I mean,

yeah, that makes sense.

Now, and then I, but let's go a step further, okay?

Handling money is not a department compartment,

it is woven into

your spirit, your soul.

Where you spend your money says what you value,

says what you fear,

how you handle money says what your value system is

and um so you lose the ability to create an incredible amount of unity with the spouse by not sharing

and um so

what you know i i would go slow enough that my wounds were healed enough that with evidence of high communication and cooperation I could trust

and not superimpose the other jerk onto the new guy.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm working hard to not do that.

Yeah,

that's a hard one.

That's a human nature thing.

And your self-awareness is a big deal on that.

So congratulations.

I think you're very wise, but I'll just go slow enough to say,

in other words, if you can't share your dreams and your fears through your money, you're not quite ready to do the marriage thing.

Yeah.

Because you're going to share everything.

Everything.

You know, if you you guys have kids together, I'm like, if I don't trust the spouse that I'm marrying enough with my money, how am I going to trust them to raise human beings with me?

You know what I mean?

Like it's, it's an indicator of their character and who they are.

And if there's a pause on that,

then again, I think that that's a red flag to be like, okay, but again, your pause may be coming from your wounds as you're self-aware enough to know.

But I think that's the, that's the, that's the important thing what you just said is I would coach him

and ask your pre-marriage counselor to do this, and you could say it out loud to him.

Teach him this if you want to.

I don't care.

But if he were talking to me, I would say, dude,

you've got to be hyper-vigilant to A, let Melissa's vote count in all decisions.

B,

everything is crystal clear.

There is no side deals anywhere.

We are doing everything together, and all the cards are face up all the time because she's got tender places and if you touch one of those areas by forgetting to tell her something,

she's going to translate that into you're a jerk.

And you've got to be super diligent on that.

I'll give you an example in our situation that's similar, okay?

That was me talking to me a minute ago, okay?

Because when we went broke, my poor wife went through hell.

We had a brand new baby, a toddler, marriage hanging on by a thread.

She would have left, but she didn't have a car.

I mean, that's what we were doing, right?

It was nasty.

Water got cut off, lights got cut off.

She lived not, she wasn't afraid.

She was in terror that we were going to be homeless.

Okay?

That's the wound that she has.

Now, that was 35 years ago.

But we still have an emergency fund for the emergency fund.

And I don't even walk near the drawer where the emergency fund paperwork is kept.

Dave still has life insurance on him because mom wants it just in case.

Like if Dave dies, mom is fine.

She's got several hundred million dollars in real estate, but she wants some insurance too.

You know, and so

it's not even logical.

But that is me being hyper-vigilant to realize that she has

the reality of a wound there, that she was, that that terror can rise up.

It can return even 35 years later.

Yeah.

And that's, that's your guy, that's your guy's job here, because he's got to look at Melissa and go, she's worth me being super careful and tender on this subject.

And would that, Melissa, for you, feel so, would you just feel so loved?

Like, would you, that would just, in my head, that would raise him up even more of like, you're an amazing guy.

You know what I mean?

Like, there's a level of trust and care

that's really beautiful.

And I think actually could be very flourishing for you guys in your relationship.

That could be really one of the big things that actually unites you versus having to be divided, you know?

Yeah, absolutely.

But

if you knew everything, if you know everything that's going on, and I will tell you this, obviously.

With 35 years of positive track record, there's a bazillion times more trust in my competency and my integrity than there used to be with Sharon.

Okay.

I've regained that, but that scar is still there.

I've still got psychological scars from that experience.

So you will have that, but it'll get healed over, and there'll just be that, you know, that tender place where there used to be a scar.

In your previous marriage, Melissa, was there a specific thing with money?

What was the actual situation, if you don't mind sharing?

I'm just curious.

Yeah.

So it was always my job to fix the budget, but he would never change his spending habits.

And then he would rack up tons of money on the credit card and blame me.

And then we refinanced the house and we only put him on it, which caused a huge trouble on the divorce.

And he never wanted to save anything.

He said, we'll save money when we get out of debt, which we never did.

Gotcha.

We left the marriage with debt.

And so

have you said all of that to to fiancé yet?

Not clearly, no.

Okay.

Because

I heard real clear messages there.

Yeah.

You know, Melissa don't do debt.

Melissa does savings.

Melissa don't do hiding money.

That is very true.

I mean, I got real messages out of that.

Now I have no debt.

Yeah.

My financial life is where I want it to be, and I want it to stay that way once we get married.

And so that's the thing.

Yeah.

And this is not about you being greedy.

This is about not about you being greedy.

This is about you not being harmed.

Yes.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And that's fair.

Yeah.

That's fair.

It should be that way anyway, but from where you're coming from, you guys have just got to be super clear and careful to make sure all of these things are addressed.

And I'm going to say, Melissa, if he's not on board on any of that, even if you combine or not, I wouldn't do it.

Yeah.

I mean, like, that is a deep part of your story that that's not worth the gamble even if you keep it separate it won't be fun it's not that's not fun you're gonna always be looking over your shoulder looking over your shoulder looking for a bagger combine those values it's the values you're looking for with the fiancé when your values are aligned it is it is a beautiful life you guys create together

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Buying or selling a home is a big deal, and there's a lot of drama out there in the real estate world, especially if you do something like Instagram or Tic Tac.

You'll find all the drama.

All the feels are out there regarding real estate.

But here's the truth.

When you got all all the drama going on, there's only one way to cut through it.

Facts are your friends.

When you got facts, it kind of lets the air out of the drama.

And we can help you with that.

We've got a great U.S.

housing market trends page at ramseysolutions.com slash market.

And so it'll have on there what is the facts on the actual inventory, the actual median home price, how many days on the market, what are prices doing, what is interest rates doing, not what your broke friend with too many beers at happy hours opinion is.

What's really going on with real estate?

We can help you with that.

And it's good news.

It's good news.

I mean, there's a lot of inventory, but there's also the median home prices are steadily increasing, not very fast, not much, but a little bit.

They're not going down.

House prices are not a bubble.

They're not crashing.

And they're not going to.

There's 1,082,520 five hundred twenty houses on the market right now it's the highest inventory since 2019

and there's a demand that's higher than that so demand is higher than supply definition is prices will go up interest rates drop and prices are going to go up quicker so be ready for that that's going to happen because there's people sitting on the sidelines they're all going to jump in there at once And so

as soon as the bell rings, they're going to go.

And so this is a great time to buy, by the way, for that reason.

And you get a little negotiating power because days on the market,

there's not 83 people lined up to buy one house over the weekend like there was.

Y'all remember those days.

That was 20 minutes ago, right?

And yeah, so right now there's actually only one person.

So you're actually having negotiation like the old days.

And so it's a really excellent time to have a fair conversation about a fair.

And it's normalized.

You've always said that about the market, the not good of like how, you know, everything skyrocket, all the craziness.

You always said it just needs to normalize normal the normalization of the market is the best healthiest market not these crazy frenzy

frenzy is not good yeah it's not it's not good for the market long term and we had that right after covet y'all remember everybody came out of their houses looking for a new house like a baptist with a casserole i mean it was unbelievable so they were everywhere and uh it was crazy and drove prices straight up and you're getting these crazy offers and all that so we're in a pretty calm, it's almost almost kind of quiet, but it's a really excellent time.

So all of that to say, ramseysolutions.com/slash market or click the link in the show notes and we'll help you with facts, ma'am.

Just the facts.

Rachel's in Canada.

Hi, Rachel.

What's up?

Hello.

I'm here with my husband.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

you're breaking up.

I don't know if you're moving your phone in circles or what.

Let's try again.

Speak directly into your phone.

Let's try one more time.

Okay,

I'm here with my husband, and we don't have retirement set up for me

as any buses ahead of me.

We have a 13-year age difference.

I will have Social Security.

We do have assets.

So we have a home renting

and the rental just dried up.

So we've listed it for sale.

And we did finally lose you.

Okay.

We'll try to get it reset, honey, when we can actually hear you.

We're only hearing about every third word.

We're trying to hold our breath and understand what you're saying.

Rosie's in New York.

Hey, Rosie, what's up?

No, you hit Jalen.

I hit the wrong one.

I'm just going crazy here.

What am I trying to do?

All right.

Let me try.

I'm doing the right thing.

There's Rosie.

Hi, Rosie.

How are you?

Hi.

Thank you for taking my call.

Sure.

How can I help?

My employer is offering a pre-tax benefit for leasing a vehicle.

So would this affect the financial, you know, advice comparison between leasing, financing, and buying a vehicle outright.

No.

Leasing a vehicle is financing a vehicle.

You're signing the lease, right?

Yes.

No, don't do that.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'll take the money.

Just give me the money, and I'll go buy a car.

Even though the lease would be pre-tax, and if I buy the car, it will be post-tax?

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

The deal is this: leasing is the most expensive way to operate a vehicle, mathematically.

It's a ripoff.

The average cost of capital, quote, interest rate is 14.2%.

And you're buying a new car and it goes down in value like a rock and all of the lost appreciation is built into the lease payment.

You're financing something you cannot afford to buy and you're calling it smart because of some little quasi-tax break.

No, do not do this.

It's a bad deal for you, honey.

It's a bad deal.

Everybody's trying to be sophisticated here, and you're going to step in a bear trap with it.

Don't do it.

Simply pay cash for your car and if they want to give you some more money at work, I'll take it.

There's no 100% tax break.

Okay.

So the only way this works is if you get a hundred percent write-off.

Otherwise, you're trading dollars for quarters.

You understand how that works?

No, what do you mean by there's no 100%?

When you have a $1,000 tax write-off or you do something pre-tax $1,000,

you don't save $1,000.

You save a quarter, you save $250 in taxes.

Yeah, you save like 30%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so you're trading a dollar for 30 cents.

Bad trade.

For the extra you're paying on the lease, is what you're saying.

Yeah.

Well, and you're, and you're in the process, in the name of sophistication or in the name of tax breaks or sophisticated tax breaks, if we want to put the two words together, you're doing a really dumb butt deal economically and mathematically

just to get involved in the tax thing.

And,

you know, 100% of the time that you do something only because of the tax, it's a bad deal.

You do the smart things and get whatever tax break you can get on the smart things, and you move on.

That's the only thing you do.

And so I'll give you an example of that out there that's floating around right now into the big beautiful bill or whatever the flip they called it.

They did away with the tax credits, not deductions, for the solar units on your home.

Oh, yeah.

At the end of the year.

So a bunch of people are running out right now and financing solar units at 18% so they don't miss the tax break.

Stupid.

Mathematically stupid.

But it created this false scenario because the end of the year, it's over.

And now solar actually has to mathematically stand on its own without a false tax prop-up.

And so solar has actually got to cost less than real electricity or the regular electricity.

You know, it actually has to work now mathematically without a false government prop-up.

But people are going, oh, God, I can't miss the tax break.

And they're spending more than the tax break because they can't afford to finance it.

And they're buying solar panels like they're going out.

Jeez.

It's the same thing.

We're motivated by the wrong thing when you're motivated by taxes.

Same with people keeping their mortgage sometimes.

Yeah.

It's just

great example.

Great example.

92% of the people this year in America will not

take an itemized deduction.

They will do standard deductions.

If you do not itemize on your tax return, you do not get the write-off on your home.

The only way you get to write the mortgage off, the mortgage interest rate on your home is you have to itemize.

Only 8% of Americans do that.

But a whole bunch of that 92 that aren't actually taking the write-off go, well, I'm keeping my mortgage because it's saving me all my tax.

No, it's not.

You're not itemizing.

That's just stupid.

God, man.

But it's just, you know,

that's internet theology is what it is.

It's a problem.

And people just,

you're exactly right.

So if you did actually do it, let's say you had $10,000 in interest

and you're the highest possible tax bracket, 37%,

okay?

And you wrote off 30, so 300.

or 3,000 bucks in tax in actual tax savings will come from you having a $10,000 interest bill.

So, what people are saying then is, these are the ones that actually do itemize:

I'm going to send the mortgage company $10,000 to keep from sending the government $3,000.

Do I need to say that again?

I'm going to send the government $10,000, I'm going to send the mortgage company $10,000 to keep from sending the government $3,000, and I'm going to strut around like I'm smart when I trade at $1 for 30 cents.

No, you're stupid.

That's it.

Mauricio is in New York.

Hi, Mauricio.

How are you?

I'm good.

Yourself?

Better than I deserve.

What's up?

So here's my situation.

I have a business and I have three other partners involved in it.

And one partner really hasn't been pulling his weight for

probably two years out of the three that we've been open at this point.

And we've already had talks and we've had all this other stuff.

And he doesn't seem, he promises he's going to do it.

He doesn't do it.

Ultimately, I don't think I can work with him anymore.

I don't trust him anymore.

How can I go about going to the next step?

Or what should that be?

Well, this is one of the reasons we say the only ship that won't sail is a partnership.

Because very few of them make it.

This is one of the reasons they don't make it.

I'm hoping, and I'm betting not, but I'm hoping you guys have detailed partnership agreements.

We do.

Okay.

Does it address

what happens if one of the partners isn't falling in line with the other three?

How do you remove someone?

How do you remove someone?

So it's basically a buyout,

whatever those terms are in terms of money.

So basically what it was was

you get, hey, here's 30-day notice.

You're not doing what you're supposed to do.

You get 30 days to fix it.

After the 30 days, basically, then you're out.

And whatever the terms that we had.

Do you have the money to write him the check that the document requires?

Yes.

Okay.

What are the other partners saying?

The same.

Okay.

They're done working with them.

Okay, so y'all are all in agreement.

Yeah.

So I guess you just execute what the plan says, don't you?

Why would you not do that?

Sit down and say you have

our document says that you have 30 days to fix this to all three of our satisfaction.

And so, you know, you've been sitting on your butt, and we can't say you're sitting on your butt anymore.

We're done with it.

And we don't think you're going to turn it, so we'd rather you just not even work the 30 days and just take the check and go.

Right.

The problem, here comes the kind of

the fly in the ointment, so to speak.

Okay, I was waiting on it.

I knew there was an issue here.

What?

Right, there's always something, right?

Last year we did a lot more, and the terms are a percentage of year-to-date revenue is your buyout, right?

So from last year to this year, we're about 60% down of what we were at the same time.

So he wants to kind of drag this thing out as much as possible.

That'd be awesome because these bad numbers are going to be the ones you calculate on.

Right.

And that's why he's kind of like, I think he, should I get a lawyer involved?

Like, oh,

this is just enough to do it.

If you write him a check today, what is the check?

Have you calculated it?

I would say probably right now, probably close to like $20,000.

That's it.

Oh, geez, man.

Write the check.

Yeah.

Get rid of the dude.

I don't think he'll take it.

That's the problem.

He don't have a choice.

And I don't want.

He don't have a choice.

The formula's in the document.

And then what?

I'd have to go to a lawyer after that?

The formula's in the document.

If he wants to argue with the document, he's going to lose

in court.

Right, I have to take him to court.

That's what it is.

No, you don't have to take him to court.

He has to take you to court.

You're throwing him out.

I'm taking his keys and his computer

by the terms of the debt.

I'm going to take him off all the bank stuff and all that stuff.

Do what?

Yeah, take him off of everything.

Yeah.

If we're going to be adversarial, then let's get to it.

But if we can be kind about this and go, this thing just didn't work, and you're going to wander off on your way with a $20,000 check, then we can be kind and easy about this.

But either way, he's got to be taken off of everything.

When someone leaves Ramsey on good terms or bad terms, that day their fob no longer works to get in the building.

Hello.

That's just normal stuff.

I don't think they allow me to take him off on the bank stuff.

Why not?

Why not?

Of course you can.

You've executed the document.

You're saying that

he has to sign off, is what you're saying, on the bank stuff.

I would assume so.

As far as everything that we've done since the moment.

No, you have partnership documents that show that you have removed him.

And he can take it to the bank.

You take those down to the bank and you say, guys, you take him off this account or I'm closing.

I'm pulling all the money out of this account and I'm going to another bank and open one with the three guys.

Right.

You're not going to hold me hostage over here.

It's not happening.

So you just got to tactically work through the different details.

And, you know, if he's got other stuff that's proprietary, you've got to get it out of his possession.

And you've got to shut down his passwords and stuff.

I'm worried about.

Passwords and stuff.

So you think this is going to go go sour?

Oh, I know it is because

he's been spiteful up until now.

So, a lot of the times it's like, hey, great guy.

Spiteful and lazy.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really great.

And the problem is, it's like, listen, I'm welcoming my third daughter into this life right now.

I can't have this guy hanging over my head if he's not going to pull his weight.

And I don't want to make it tough because

it's so low.

Hey, I want you to change your pronouns.

It's not I, it's we.

All three three of us are sick of him.

Yes.

No, you're right.

We're done, dude.

Here's your $20,000 check.

Here's how it's calculated.

How many conversations have you guys had with him?

A lot.

This would probably be the fifth one in two years.

Yeah.

And it's a character issue.

The guy's just lazy.

He's a lazy hound dog in the sun on the front porch.

He ain't getting up.

But he's he a good.

Well, he's spiteful, you said.

I don't know.

There's a book called Ideal Team Player, and he could be, what is it, the lovable slacker?

There's like the guy who's spiteful.

I don't know.

Yeah, he may not be lovable, though.

So that may not be him.

No.

No, you know what it is, is it's also the position that he had, or he has is the fact that it's not really super important to the company.

And when asked to grow, was when the problem started.

Like, hey, you have to take on a little bit more responsibility like the rest of us had.

And he's like, no, I just want to stay in my lane.

And the problem is, because of his lack of trying,

I feel like it directly correlated to the fact that we went, you know, from

over a certain amount to less than what we had, you know, so if it were me in this situation,

you work in 10.

Okay, yeah, so you don't want to get into who shot anything.

Okay, when we've let someone go at Ramsey, it's a 10-minute conversation because there's been a bunch of conversations before that.

Lots of warnings, lots of discussions.

We've talked about the different issues, written down, and now we're done.

Documented.

And so it's,

hey, today's your last day here i'm sorry this didn't work we tried everything you know that we love you and we want you to succeed somewhere else and um we're as of right now none of your passwords or your computer doesn't work we'll need to catch your cell phone and your pass and your computer um if you want to go to your desk and get your stuff that's fine but if you'd rather not do that walk of shame and come back tonight after hours hr will meet you and you can just go the car and go home and have the rest of the day and talk to your family and everything tell them what happened and we you know it's about a six-minute conversation.

And that's where you are.

Yeah, but this guy's an oh, I mean, it's a partner.

I'm just going to go to the moment.

The three of you sit down together in a room in person with the check in front of you and say, and a document that says that this is our separation.

Have your attorney draft a one-page separation.

And he signs that.

He gets the check.

He turns over his stuff.

And we're sorry it didn't work, dude.

We thought when we started this, it was going to be a good thing, and it hadn't worked out.

We tried.

We talked about it, and this is the end of it.

This is your last day here.

Well, I don't care.

I'm going to get a lawyer.

I know, but you can do whatever you want to do, but this is your last day here.

Well, I'm going to be pissed.

I'm sorry, but this is your last day here.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm going to cry, and I want to start again.

Let's give me one more chance.

I'm sorry, but this is your last day here.

The decision has been made.

Can we continue working?

Right.

Can we continue working?

If he wants to get lawyers involved and all that stuff, we can continue on.

Sure.

We don't have to stop to wait for anything.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't wait on anything.

You go on as if he left the building happy, and then you've just got this side issue that's going to burn some calories and some money called defending your position.

But it should be an open and shut case based on what you're telling me.

I'm not an attorney, but you're telling me the document clearly gives you the right to let this guy go.

Yes, yes, yes.

That's how we signed off on it, all four of us.

Yeah.

And there is a clear formula on how the payout is done.

And here's another thing.

Here's a cool thing.

All right.

Let's say you run the calculation as $22,422.

Okay.

Right.

Make it $25.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Be generous.

Okay.

And go, listen, there's a little bit more on here.

And just

because here's the actual calculation.

Here's what you're due.

We're going to put a little mayonnaise on here, on the bun.

And this is your last day here.

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Not in all states.

Today's question comes from Olivia in North Carolina.

She said, My husband and I earn close to $500,000 a year with no debt except for our home.

The mortgage payment is $2,500 a month.

We max out all of our retirement accounts.

Kids' college funds are on track.

We have expendable money every month that we find ourselves spending on silly purchases.

For me, it's purses.

For my husband, it's electronics.

We don't live in a mansion and we can afford all these items, but we do recognize it's a waste of money.

And frankly, they can just create clutter.

Neither of us enjoy eating out or traveling, and we are very content with our lives.

How do we stop wasting money on silly material purchases, even if we can afford them and we're doing all the right things already?

That's a great question.

Olivia, yeah, I mean, I think understanding why you're buying these things in the first place, what is it just because you just feel like we just have the money, so we're we need to enjoy and spend it, and that's that's the motivation.

Is it uh because you're bored and you need excitement, right?

So finding that motivation of why you're making the purchases in the first place will help you determine and set some values around extra money that you have.

And I mean, I would, I didn't hear any giving in this equation, Olivia.

Maybe you guys are, but I would probably up your giving.

Uh, It's amazing what you could do if you could find, you know, people in your lives, a single mom or someone who's working the baby steps and giving, you know, a $500 spa gift card to the wife or, you know, giving them gift cards to go out to eat.

Like spend the money in the way of giving while also enjoying it.

But I wonder the fulfillment on that end is so much greater than just buying stuff to buy it.

So enjoy some of it, but I would be upping your giving because I think that's going to bring you a longer term level of contentment

down the road.

The word I heard in the whole thing was clutter,

which meant it's not satisfying.

You know, I'm not, I do this and then it's not satisfying.

There's just regret.

It feels like a financial hangover after I do it.

So I would pick up our friends Joshua and the gang at the Minimalists.

Why don't you start watching some of their videos and check out some of their books?

They've got a couple of documentaries on Netflix.

And

the minimalist, the idea is, is that we don't need as much stuff.

And not that stuff is evil, but that just collecting stuff for the sake of collecting stuff is ridiculous.

And that's kind of what she's saying, in a sense here.

So that's one thing I would do.

The second thing I would do is you guys need a written budget.

You're not living on a budget.

And a budget is simply being intentional with every dollar.

A budget is not a chokehold for people that are broke.

A budget is you're telling your money what to do.

That's all it is.

And if you have a line item that has a certain dollar amount in it for these types of purchases, then you don't go over that.

And you set that and you go, okay, you could set it high when you start and you go, well, it's still too much.

I think we're buying too much crap.

And then you could lower the amount.

But you can set an amount in the cool of the evening when the two of you are sane.

and you're sitting at the kitchen table.

Then when the insanity kicks in later, whatever this weird motivation is that's driving all of this, then you can look down and go, wait a minute, the calm, logical me told the crazy me not to do this.

Yeah.

And that's what the budget is.

It's telling you what to do when you were, and you told you what to do, your future self not to do this.

Yeah, and I think it's a good practice, maybe for you guys, and it sounds kind of extreme, but what if like for one month you said, you know what,

we're not going to buy, we don't need to buy stuff.

For one month.

No spend, no spin month.

Yeah, a no spend month and just practice it.

We did that with our kids this summer because our kids were like, we want this and this, and I have money.

I have $2.

Can we go to Target?

Can we please go to Target so I can spend my $2?

And it was just, I mean, they were just like these ankle-barted conversations constantly.

And I was like, you know what?

We're not spending money this summer, you guys.

I mean, once then I did, but to the kids, you're not spending money.

And whatever you have at the end of the summer, we'll double it.

We'll match you for what you have at the end of the summer, but you're not spending.

And it took about, I'm going to say six days-ish.

It was a little less than a week because they would ask and ask, and then they stopped asking, and they just were content with what they had.

But you kind of have to put in this practice, even as adults.

I mean, I do this sometimes to myself where I'm like, I'm just buying Amazon stuff, and I don't need to buy it.

I don't need another box of earrings, right?

Like, it just kind of gets to this point, even if you can afford it.

There's something about practicing that contentment of just kind of just shutting everything off and not forever, but just to get a baseline back to a level of just, I don't know, that contentment and that steadiness.

Yeah.

So maybe that's what you guys do.

Do something extreme for one month month and see what happens.

That's fun.

I like that.

Jalen is in Toledo.

Hi, Jalen.

How are you?

Hi, Dave.

Thank you for taking my call.

Sure.

What's up?

So, the reason I'm calling is I'm having a hard time building my savings with a fluctuating income.

What's your total income?

So I've got two separate, I've got a primary and a secondary source of income.

So I'm actually a 100% TNT disabled veteran.

So I get about $48.5K a year, non-taxable.

And then my secondary income is I'm a live streamer on a live streaming platform.

And I bring roughly about $2,000 a month from that.

Okay.

All right.

It's about $6,000 a month-ish you're bringing in?

Just about there, yeah.

Okay.

So what's your regular?

Just the variation in the 2,000?

Yes, the variation

in the 2000.

So, what's your months you get zero on that?

I'm sorry?

Do you ever have a zero month on that?

A zero month?

What do you mean by that?

On the streaming, do you ever have a month you make zero?

Oh, no, absolutely not.

What's your worst month streaming?

My worst month streaming this month is actually I can pull that up for you.

My worst month streaming was $2,000, no, sorry, $1,885.

The most I made was $7,200.

Okay.

All right.

And the average is $2,000.

Yes, sir.

Wow.

So that $7,200 was a mammoth month.

It was for my birthday.

So I did like a special event for my birthday.

And I don't have that money anymore.

I got married about a little over a month ago.

So all that money went towards the service and everything.

Okay.

Congratulations.

What does she make?

Thank you.

She makes about $30K a year.

She's a data analyst.

Okay.

So your household budget is around $9,000, or you guys are bringing in, on average, $9,000.

Do you know how much your monthly expenses are to run the household entirely?

Insurances, rent, mortgage, electricity, water, clothes, everything.

Do you know?

I know a few of those.

So my mortgage just recently got lowered from

the bottom.

Do you have a total of what it takes to operate?

To run your household, how much would it cost a month?

The whole thing.

probably around maybe 2500 i'd say okay so your number one problem jalen is you don't know what your expenses are

so so that's what i would do i would do a very very detailed budget tonight with your newlywed wife it's gonna be very romantic and very wonderful sit down you're gonna do a budget and you guys are gonna look at the line i'm we'll give you every dollar premium and it connects to your bank but you guys sit down with that app and fill it out and if there's categories in there that are that are part of your life that is not in the Every Dollar app, add them.

There's areas that you can add.

Go through, do a very detailed budget.

And you need that total of how much it's going to cost.

So let's say it costs $3,000 a month to run your household.

Well, then that's great.

That means, you know, you guys have $6,000 of margin, which is amazing.

So there's some savings.

I mean, that would be incredible.

So your premise that you're having a hard time budgeting because you have a fluctuating income is false.

And the reason it's false is a very small percentage of your income is actually fluctuating.

Like almost none of it.

Okay.

And so, because you've got her 2,500, you've got your disability, and then you've got a baseline of probably close to 2,000 on the streaming that's every month.

And so the only volatility is what above 2,000 that you're going to make and what to do with that.

That's your only volatility.

And that's not keeping you from laying out a plan, like Rachel's saying.

So you've got to sit down and do the discipline of spending your money on paper on the app before the month begins.

And when you give every dollar an assignment before the month begins, as Rachel said,

then if you get a windfall and you have a $6,000 a month instead of a $2,000 month, you quickly will know what to do with that other $4,000 because you'll have it already laid out a game plan for everything else.

And it's easy to make your adjustments on the fly on the minor amount of your income that is actually fluctuating.

What's up, guys?

George Camel here.

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People are drowning in money stress right now, and you can be the one who helps them by leading a Financial Peace University class.

It's totally free for you, and we hook you up with all the tools and support you need.

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Jessica's in Illinois.

Hi, Jessica.

How are you?

I'm good.

How are you guys?

Better than I deserve.

What's up?

Well, I was just calling, I guess, with a question.

So my husband passed away unexpectedly earlier this year.

We're both in our upper 30s.

So it was very uncomfortable.

What happened?

Thank you.

He had a heart attack.

Wow.

In his 30s.

In his 30s.

How long have y'all been married?

We've been married just shy of two years when he passed.

Oh, my.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

Thank you.

So I guess I'm just calling with, I guess, looking for advice, looking, you know, morally

just to see if the angle that I'm looking at is the right angle

we had talked about previous to getting married or engaged pre after getting married in regards to changing our beneficiaries on everything

we were very set

I guess

intellectually like with

on our morals and values and what we wanted in life, our future goals.

We are in the process of building a home that actually we just got the occupancy approval yesterday.

I have a daughter of my own as well prior to our marriage.

But I guess what I'm looking for is

when we had discussed life insurance and beneficiaries, we both agreed that we would update with everything that we had going on.

We were trying to have children of our own,

like I said, building a home.

And then we both had conversations after marriage to, I guess, confirm that this had been done.

And I recently found out in going through my husband's estate that his life insurance policy, he has a term life and then a supplemental.

And I found out his sister was the beneficiary on the term life still.

So that had not been switched over as we had discussed.

So I am only getting half of the life insurance.

So now having to finagle his estate, all the debts.

So he did have

assets prior to us being married that I am now the heir of his estate.

So I take on all debts, including any credit card debts.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not true.

Only if you want the assets.

Only if you want the assets.

Right, yeah, only if I want the assets.

So, how much in assets did he have?

Sure.

So, he had about $155,000 worth the assets of what's owed on the assets, I should say.

That's the debt he had.

So, what is it, like a rental property or something, or what?

Nope.

So, he had a decent size plot of land and then a building on the land.

And then we also built our home on that land

as well, which the home is in my name and his, but everything else is just in his name.

So

the house is on a different plat

than the rest of the land.

Separated the parcels.

Got it.

Okay.

So the land,

the rest of the land that the house is not on was in his name, and it is worth what?

I'd say the land and the shop are probably worth

between $250,000 and $300,000.

Okay.

And there's $155,000 owed on it.

There's

a little under $100,000 owed on just the land.

Oh, and then there's $100.

$55,000.

There are separate assets.

Okay.

So you are correct.

The land,

the equity in the land stands good for his debt.

You do not take on the debt unless you want to keep the land.

Yes.

And so, and that's what you're saying.

You want to keep the land, so you're willing to take on the debt.

But you don't get the debt automatically.

When someone dies, what they own stands good for what they owe.

Assets minus liabilities.

Okay?

And so let's pretend for everybody listening that

he had

assets of $30,000 and debts of $100,000.

You would turn the assets loose.

You're not going to take on these debts because you don't inherit debt in the United States.

Okay.

Okay.

You follow the difference?

So, in other words, you're willing, and I think you're wise, you're willing if you're able financially to accept the $155,000 to get the $300,000.

And it's adjacent to your new house, you know.

So

all of that.

Okay.

Now, then

you're leading all to another question.

So how can we help?

Well, I guess I was just leading more or less to

to give a little context in regards, you know, my husband and I have been together for five years in total.

Our families, both very close.

I made it in with his family immediately.

I fell in love with them, they fell in love with me, and vice versa.

For my husband, with my family, they

know

loved them.

So

my question is, with my sister,

and he, for whatever reason, didn't change his life insurance policy over, like we had discussed, and now I'm only receiving half, which is not enough to pay for our home.

Okay.

So now I'm being forced to sell our home, I guess.

So my question is, is just looking for advice morally,

you know, I

need to have conversations with her on how this has made me feel.

It's emotionally draining.

I'm going through probate.

You feel like she should give you the money.

Right, as you can see.

Because it sounds selfish, but it's

a life insurance policy, the purpose of it is so that.

Yeah, but

your husband didn't change the beneficiary, so it's not your sister-in-law's fault.

She didn't do anything wrong, and she does does not have a moral obligation to do this.

He had a moral obligation to fix it before he died, but she does not have a moral obligation to give you this money.

And it's not yours.

You don't have any rights to it, morally, ethically, certainly not legally.

If she wanted to give it to you because it was the intent, then that would be a kind thing to do.

But she's not obligated to, and I don't think you have a right to be mad at her if she doesn't.

No, and I understand that.

I guess I was just looking to see an outside perspective.

Yeah, and I mean, I hear you, Jessica.

That sucks that, you know, your husband's life insurance is going to his sister and you're like, oh, my gosh, but we have a life here.

I mean, that's not false.

I want to cry with you, but I'm kind of mad at your dead husband, okay?

Yeah.

You know, because he should have done this, you know?

And you are too, really, if you admit it.

But I'm sorry.

I mean, but it's just

because it left you in a lurch, so now you're going to have to sell the whole kidney for boots.

Have you talked to the sister?

I'm just curious if y'all have had any level of conversation of like the obvious.

I don't know.

We've had conversations in regards to it because, like I said, I was completely shocked by

what did she say?

Well, she had asked for a death certificate, and I was kind of shocked by it.

And I had asked, what do you need it for?

And she just said, some time-sensitive paperwork.

And so then I got, gave the death certificate.

And then I just, I said, can I just ask what it's like, what you would need it for, I guess?

And she's just like, well, life insurance.

I was a beneficiary.

And I was like, well, I knew you were prior to marriage, but once we got married, Drew told me that he had changed it.

So I said, can you just call to verify with his insurance company if you have a claim number and just verify that you are for sure before you go and send in for this and it gets paid out and you're really not because based like I said based off my conversations with my husband and she said changed everything and what she and what did she say

she just said I'm sorry I don't know what to say and Yeah, you're not getting us money on.

So I'm so sorry.

You're going to at least sell the piece of land.

You may be selling both things and restarting your life with what you have because you've been through a tragedy and a horrible situation.

I'm so sorry.

And the paperwork wasn't done properly.

Gosh, I'm so sorry.

You spend hours researching before making a major purchase like a home or car, but it's also a good idea to put in the work searching for the right insurance coverage.

To protect your biggest assets, I recommend using Ramsey Trusted Pros.

Whether you're looking for car, home, or any other type of insurance, Ramsey Trusted providers have been coached and vetted to serve you like we would find what you need at ramseysolutions.com slash insurance

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All right, Atlanta's calling Karina.

Hi, Karina.

How are you?

Hello, good.

How are you?

Better than I deserve.

What's up?

Yes, sir.

I wanted some advice on what to do.

Or I have two teenagers.

I have a 16-year-old boy and a a 19-year-old.

And in regards to purchasing their own vehicle, I've heard you say before that you would have them save and you would match.

But because we obviously were not very good with our money before,

and I wanted to know if it's okay, we're in baby step three now, if it's okay to help them

purchase a vehicle even though they're not going to put as much down or as much towards the vehicle or is is there any other way that they can have their skin in the game if we're able to purchase like a $3,000 car for them?

Well, do they have any money saved?

No.

Okay.

No, they do have, they just started a job this week, but it's part-time because they have school.

Sure, yeah.

But no, they do not.

Okay, you're on baby step three, which means you worked your way out of debt, and then you just asked me a question about putting your teenagers into debt.

That's inconsistent.

I don't want to put the none of the debts.

Well, you said I'm not down.

You said down.

I did, but there's no down unless you're loaned.

She didn't mean a loan, though, did you?

Correct.

No.

Yeah, I think she just meant them putting

them contributing money.

What?

Them contributing money?

That's what she meant.

Yeah, okay.

Yes.

What?

You misunderstood.

Oh, no, I didn't.

Okay, she didn't say down, but but.

All right.

All right, so what's your household income, hon?

We're at $135,000.

Okay.

All right.

And so give me a scenario under which the 19-year-old would buy a car and how you would participate and how they would participate.

Tell me what that might look like.

Yes, sir.

So I was what we had spoken about is that

like the example you give that they would save up up like $2,000 and we would do the $2,000 and then find a $4,000 car.

Right.

But

right now,

because they need a vehicle to move around, and we do have another vehicle in the household, I just don't know if like gifting it to them and then find another way how they can.

So you have three cars.

You have three cars, right?

We have two cars.

Two cars.

What's the extra?

You don't have a vehicle for the teenagers.

You have a car, your husband has a car.

No, my husband drives a company vehicle.

And then I use one to go to work, and then they're using the other one.

So then they can share that fee.

You don't have to give it to them, but they can share it.

They can just share the use of it.

It's your car.

And then save up the money, and then when they have money saved.

If they want their own car, they need to save some money and go get one.

Okay.

But

they can use your old car until they do.

Okay.

Yeah, that makes sense.

That's all you need to do.

At 16 and 19, it's too late to start any kind of a matching program.

I would just tell them, kids, y'all can use this as long as you're living here.

But when you get ready to go out on your own, you're going to need a car.

So you need to start saving for a car.

And if you want to not drive this car, you need to start saving for a car.

You could sell it.

And there will be no car payments while you live under my roof.

Hey, yes, they understand that.

No, I just want to tell them again.

Okay, so Carino, I would be okay with you still doing the matching program, you know, I mean, not until they're like 26 or something, but while they're still living in your home, if they work, if they're working and sharing that car and they save their own $2,000 and you and your husband have that to spare and you guys want to still match that.

Well, that's okay if you want to do that.

Yeah.

If you want to do that, but there's just not a lot of time.

And so really, if a 19-year-old does this and they're living at home, they got no overhead, they got no rent, they got no food problem, then all they got to do is go make a big pile of money and stack cash.

So get your butt to work.

Yes, sir.

You know, and you go,

he can make enough.

He can make enough by Christmas to buy a car.

Hello.

Yes, sir.

That's our plan.

That's our goal.

Because we did have a conversation.

I just didn't know because they were like older.

Yeah, if you want to help them a little bit, like Rachel said, some match.

That's okay.

But, you know, some level of match is fine.

But the good news is, I'm really helping you.

You get to use this car for free.

You get to live here for free.

So you got no use for money except stacking it to buy a car.

So stack it.

Don't spend it.

And go get you a car by Christmas.

And, you know, go, you know, hey, you're 19.

Try working 40 hours a week.

Let's see if we can't have $4,000 or $5,000 by Christmas.

You should be able to.

You know what I mean?

Expenses.

So

that's, but if you want to put two more with it and help them get a seven, Great.

That's fine.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But

you're right.

The inconsistency with our story is that we started that when our kids were really young, that discussion.

And so that matching thing has a whole different set of lessons to it that you don't get the benefit of the lessons here because it's just a short term.

The lesson here is work hard, stack cash, buy something with cash.

That's the lesson.

And it's going to be a very short microwaveable thing rather than a crockpot thing.

And that's the process.

But yeah.

And just, you know, because the culture and all of their friends are telling them to go get a car payment, don't be afraid to repeat yourself

a lot that we don't do car payments for people that live in this house.

But can a 16-year-old go get a car payment on their own?

Let's just, everybody needs to thoroughly understand what we do here.

And 16-year-olds

oftentimes don't hear something the first time you say it.

She said down

early on, and you have

attached to that.

I am just saying, be real

careful here.

I I don't want anybody making assumptions.

This is how this works, and this is how it doesn't work.

So that's the whole thing.

That's what we're doing.

All right, Mark's in Virginia.

Hey, Mark, what's up?

Hey, I'm getting ready to retire.

Cool.

And

trying to figure out how to go from

a saver mentality to a spender mentality.

How much have you?

What's your net worth?

Seven or eight, something like that.

Seven or eight dollars?

Million.

Okay,

I was hoping.

Dave likes to hear that word.

I was hoping.

Good.

Way to go, Mark.

Well done, Mark.

Congratulations.

We did good.

So,

Sharon and I, most people who do what you've done, you've probably started from nothing and you've worked your tail end off and you've saved like a maniac, and that's how you got here.

Congratulations.

You're a success.

You're a stud.

Well done.

But

now what you've got to do is, as you said, you need to learn to enjoy money more than maybe you ever have.

And you've got plenty of margin to do that.

Because if you're, if your mutual funds are earning 12%,

11%, and you pull 10%, you got $700,000 a year to do something with without touching the nest egg.

Okay, if you, if it all made, if your portfolio averaged 10% on 7 million, you follow me?

So you got a $5,000, $600,000, $700,000 income off of your investments without messing up your investments.

So Sharon and I have done two things to learn

to develop, to get past the emotional part of spending money because it feels weird when you spend money and you've been working so hard saving money, which is your question.

So two things we did.

One is we increase our generosity.

We're very intentional and look people in the eye like crazy tips, crazy.

Catch somebody doing something right.

Just walk up and buy, put a set of tires on somebody's car that you're looking at them.

They look like they need some help at the gas station.

Let's go over there, the discount tire.

I'm gonna spend a thousand dollars put tires on your car and just start doing some weird stuff like that uh just pocket money random

i have been doing that and it feels really good it does i'll tell you what the interesting thing is it's the same muscle generosity is the same muscle as a spending muscle yeah it loosens up the spending muscle if you're generous because it's the same thing because you're letting go of money in both cases where with saving you're holding on to money both of these are learning to hold with an open hand the second thing we've learned to do is we just have the burn the money in the middle of the floor question.

If you buy something for $70,000 and you burnt that money in the middle of the floor, would it change your life?

Not a nickel.

Nothing would change.

So if you go buy a $70,000 antique car that you've always wanted, whoopty-doopty.

Doesn't change anything.

Now, if you go spend $800,000, you could put a dent in this thing.

That'd be a problem.

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The Money and Marriage Getaway here on the Ramsey campus is a hugely popular event.

It sells out every time we do it.

Dr.

John Deloney and Rachel Cruz here with me are the hosts.

And it's a weekend-long event at our Ramsey Event Center here on our campus.

And it is incredible.

It's life-changing.

They get into the details.

I can tell you that.

Tickets start at $7.49 a couple.

The next one is in November.

And then we're doing one in February around Valentine's Day, February 12th through 14.

So you can get your tickets for the lowest price before they end at ramseysolutions.com slash getaway or click the link in the show notes.

And Rachel, this thing is,

with you and John doing it to start with, people need to know that's like stand-up comedy.

It's going to be really funny.

And there's a lot of awkward stuff that makes it really easy to be funny.

Yeah, well, we do dive into the two topics, yeah, in a lot of depth.

I talk obviously about the money side and how do you do this as a couple?

What does that look like?

Because there's so many different angles and approaches and topics around that.

And then John dives into the marriage portion.

And so it is, yeah, it's a really fun weekend and it's a very impactful weekend because we want you to come and leave, not just overwhelmed with, oh gosh, I have so many things to do, but really a plan and an awareness in your marriage that you may have not have had.

So that's our hope for you.

Yeah, some inspiration to do something even bigger and better.

It's very cool.

The money and marriage weekend, again, November and February.

They sell out every time.

And so if you wanted your tickets, jump in there right now and get them done.

Andrew's in Florida.

Hi, Andrew.

Welcome to the show.

How are you?

Better than I deserve.

How can I help?

So I have a

truck payment.

I'm 21.

I got a truck.

I financed $25,000 with a 23.8% interest.

I know I'm lying for that.

God.

And I owe $21,086 on it right now, and I've paid on it for two years.

And I can't refinance it because at the time of I got the first

truck loan, I had a car loan out, and that car got totaled, and Gap didn't pay for it all, so I paid it out.

I have a letter from the finance company saying it's a paid off, but they put a repo on my credit and they won't take it off.

And I'm like $10,000 upside down on my truck, and I just don't know how to get out of it.

Who said the truck's worth $12,000?

The dealerships in Kelly Blue Book.

Well, dealerships buy it wholesale, honey.

So you looked at Kelly Blue Book for what you can private sale it or what a wholesale is?

Oh, private sale.

I have it posted right now for $15,000.

Ah, there.

And I was just going to use money, use my own money.

You got some money?

I'm going to need to pay off the rest.

No, not really.

My fiancé does.

She's going to help me out.

No.

No, you don't take money from somebody you're not married to, honey.

That's another bad plan.

You're going from one bad idea to another.

Yes, sir.

So you don't have any money, you personally?

No, sir.

Okay.

Do you work, Andrew?

Yes, so I'm an electrician apprentice, but I just broke my foot, so I'm waiting on that to heal before I can go back.

I'm in a realtor spot.

How much do you make a year when you're working full-time?

In between, I'm going to say $30,000 to $50,000 a year.

It depends on the job and where I'm at.

Okay.

Yeah, when will you be back to work?

Uh I'm not sure.

I gotta see I got a doctor's appointment tomorrow to go over my X race.

Okay.

And when long ago did you break it?

About a month ago.

Okay.

So you'd be back pretty quick, unless she was really something.

You in a boot or like a scooter thing?

I'm in an air cast boot, so yeah, this construction sites don't like you on the job sites.

Okay.

And when are you guys getting married?

Uh, we were hoping for December, um, but we might have to postpone.

Why?

Financial reasons and just some stuff between us.

We want to be ready.

Okay.

Well, I would not take money from her until you guys are officially married.

And so it would be you doing this all on your own.

And have you gotten any

interest with it listed at 15?

No, not really.

Okay.

Yeah, I mean, that's going to be your best bet and to be saving up some money because because you're right.

I mean, I doubt you'll be able to get a loan for the difference.

That's usually what we say when it's upside down.

But with your credit and having a repo, it may be tough to get a small loan.

But that would be

what can you do right now while your foot's in the boot to make some money?

I've

known a guy, he owns his own company, and he's starting another branch doing RV repair, but it's still very new.

So he's just paying me, I think, $16 an hour to watch YouTube videos to learn.

So I have some type of income,

but it's not

everything I need right now.

Why is he paying you to learn to work on RVs if you intend to go back to being an electrician?

Because he's really trying to just help me out.

We go to church together and he sees I'm in a tough spot.

And I just like learning everything I can.

Yeah.

And how many hours a week are you getting paid to do this right now?

Right around 40.

Wow.

Okay.

That's a bright bright spot.

Yeah, he's a very generous man.

Okay.

Yes, sir, he is.

Being very kind to you.

Yeah, so what I'm going to do, if I'm in your shoes, is exactly what Rachel said.

If we can't solve the issues that are keeping you from getting married and advance the marriage date,

I would not wait to get married based on financial problems.

I would wait to get married if there's other problems.

And you mentioned two things.

But you don't need to save up and have a wedding.

You're two broke children.

You don't have any money.

You're 21.

You got no money.

So you don't need to wait two years and save up $20,000 to have a wedding.

Just go get married, for goodness sakes.

People do that all the time.

And 40 years later, they tell the story.

And so.

But

if there are relational issues that you need to solve, then do solve those.

I'm not telling you to rush into something that doesn't look good.

But if you go get married, then that solves the problem because you've got the money then to cover this.

And I wouldn't marry her just for that reason, but don't take money from somebody you're not married to.

It's going to put a strain on a relationship.

And if there's already problems, it's going to make it worse

because the borrower is slave to the lender, even your girlfriend.

Every time, that's the way that works.

A hundred percent chance that it changes the relationship when you borrow money from somebody.

time.

So don't borrow money.

Now, if the relational issues are minor and you're waiting on some kind of weird financial thing, put that to the side, go ahead and get married.

If the relation issues are a reason to wait, then Rachel's right.

I would tell you to wait.

If that is not the case, then what you've got to do is do nothing but work all the time until you get enough money to get out of this ridiculous truck deal.

25%

interest and $25,000 for a 21-year-old.

Whoever sold you that should be beat with a stick.

That's just immoral.

It's just thievery.

They just completely saw you coming and screwed you.

But we can't do anything about it now except learn our lesson and never go back on the property where you bought that truck the rest of your life.

Those are not good people.

Get away from them.

Stay away from them.

And then let's get this stinking thing paid down and get it sold get you a three thousand dollar truck and get your life back because this thing owns you right now man i'm sorry i've been trapped i felt that way that's why i'm kind of angry right now for you because i know how you feel and uh you can get there but that's our guidelines uh get you some money and get out of this truck and or get married and get out of this truck But the moral of the story is get out of this truck.

Get this thing sold, dude.

Yeah.

I mean, on some years, this is costing half of his annual income.

I mean, it's

just,

it's just.

No, more than that.

I mean, if he's making 30 some years, yeah.

So you feel it, though, Andrew.

And it's a good listen.

I mean, learning.

The good news is you never have to do it again the rest of your whole life.

This is one lesson you have learned.

And so with me, I do stupid stuff all the time, but my goal is just to not do the same stupid stuff.

And so if you've got a whole list of stupid things that you never do again, people start calling you wise.

and that this one's on this is this is on your list this is look at what i did when i was 21 i did this stupid thing and i'll never do it again and you got the whole rest of your life to live with that lesson and be smart and and not let somebody ever tattoo you again on a car deal oh my gosh

Our scripture of the day, Deuteronomy 7, 9, know therefore that the Lord your God is God.

He is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

Ronald Reagan said, I've wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would look like if Moses had run them through the U.S.

Congress.

Oh my gosh, Jake.

Reagan, oh man.

Jake is in Washington, D.C.

Hey, Jake, what's up?

Hey, how's it going, Ramsey Crew?

How's it going today?

Better than we deserve, sir.

How can we help?

Hey, so

I'm getting married in 18 days, and me and my fiancé, we're in an incredibly blessed situation, and we're wondering what to do with all of our inherited money that we have and, you know, how to

be responsible with it and how to,

you know, just give back to the community and make a positive impact on the world.

Phenomenal.

So who's inheriting money, you or her?

We've both already inherited it.

Oh, okay.

How much did she inherit?

She inherited close to

4.5 million and I inherited close to 300,000.

Oh, a little different.

Okay.

Cool.

Wow.

Where did hers come from?

Hers came from

hers came from her grandparents.

Both of ours actually came from our grandparents.

They just worked extremely hard and made sure to stash away a lot of money.

A lot of it's in trust and in the stock market.

So

yeah, that's how they passed it over to us.

Wow.

How old are you two?

We're both 27.

Okay, cool.

What do you do for a living?

I work as a technology consultant for Big Four.

What about her?

And she's a lobbyist in D.C.

Okay.

First thing I would do is establish a sustainable life on your income without touching the money.

100%.

Okay.

That you don't need this money to live on and don't become dependent upon it.

That makes you a trust fund baby.

And you're not that.

Okay.

You're both gainfully employed.

You have great careers.

You're obviously professionals.

Congratulations.

And all of that happened out of your grandparents' inheritance as well.

You inherited their character, their work ethic, their smarts, and all of those things, not counting their money.

And so let's honor that by creating a sustainable life where the two of you build wealth independent of this 4.3 and this 300K.

That's thing one.

Thing two is you need to lay out a very clear,

detailed itinerary or schedule of what we're going to do with this money.

And both of you be in agreement with it.

Because where people mess up is when they, if you spend it in your head or you invest it in your head, you'll end up doing about $8 million worth and you've only got $4 million.

So if you lay it out line by line by line by line, and there are only three buckets that these lines can land in.

The spending bucket, which is okay to spend some,

wisely and carefully.

The investing bucket,

obviously, wisely and carefully and slowly.

And the generosity bucket you mentioned giving to the community.

Okay?

And so I'm going to allocate portions of this $4.6 million

to those three buckets

and say, okay,

we're going to live on this income, but we are going to use $300,000 or $800,000 of it to buy a house

or something like that.

But we're going to live on our income.

All right.

And pay cash for a house at 27 years old.

That's a good investment.

So or whatever the number is, but it doesn't need to be a $4 million house.

That doesn't make sense in your situation.

But we're going to lay down, this is how much we're going to put on this.

This is how much we're going to put on, this is how much we're going to give, and we're going to do an annualized giving of this off of the income that this money creates.

And then we're going to look at the investments that are currently there.

You said the money is invested in trust in the stock market in some way or another.

I want to learn about that.

I want to know what it's in.

And you need to make clear, careful decisions about what the money is sitting in.

If it's in a bunch of single stocks, that scares me.

And we're not moving it to freaking Bitcoin.

Okay?

We're going to be boring.

Your grandparents were boring and steady, and it worked, and it worked.

So follow their lead.

And then the last thing, the third guideline I'll give you.

So guideline one is create a sustainable life without the money.

Guideline two is lay everything out line by line in those three buckets, generosity, spending, or enjoying money, whatever we want to call that, and investing money.

Line item, then the third thing to remember is

that you don't put money in stuff you don't understand.

So you don't invest because your friend said to.

We're not trying to get rich quick.

We're trying to be the tortoise, not the hare.

That's what grandpa did.

And a good way to remember any of the stuff, the generosity, the investing, or anything, is ask yourself, if I do this with this money, is grandpa in heaven smiling?

Am I honoring his legacy?

Am I honoring the man or the woman that made this money by doing this?

And if you would go, my grandpa would kill me if he knew I was doing this.

Well, he does know you're doing it.

So

beware, right?

And so, you know,

let's just be

the guy that is honoring to this because the opposite of that is somebody that goes crazy and acts like they won the lotto, and you're not that guy.

I can already tell by talking to you.

That guy doesn't even call the show and ask this question.

Yeah.

Yeah, Jake.

I mean, like, yeah, I think totally agree with everything you said.

And I think that the detailed plan is super helpful because it does take ideas and numbers that can kind of get foggy.

And there's obvious ways that we're going to handle this.

And it's written plain as day right there.

And, you know,

to another element, I'm like, this is so fun that you and your wife get to set up a legacy that you guys then get to build upon your lives, which then can be passed down to your kids.

You understand?

Your grandkids are going to get 400 million because of this.

Yeah, 100%.

That's the way this money works.

If you don't blow this, it's, I mean, you're old man Van or your grandpa was old man Vanderbilt, and you're like the second or third gen.

I mean, this is

a huge mathematical opportunity.

Yeah, no, I appreciate all the advice.

I think both of us are feeling the responsibility of this all.

And we listen to you guys a lot.

And I think something that resonates with us a lot is just going slow with it and learning along the way.

Like there's no reason for us to, we don't need to make a huge purchase right now.

We don't need to, we don't need to like add that extra pressure.

We can be methodical about it.

We can be practical about it.

And as life starts to evolve and change and after the wedding, we can make a decision.

And

it's good to have options.

It's an obvious thing, but

it does add stress.

And I think that's why I just wanted to call you guys and just get that reassurance that we can do this.

Let me tell you, the fact that you're feeling the weight of this

means you're wise.

That's a wise position to be in.

That means you actually understand that wealth is a responsibility.

It is not a celebration.

It's not a thing.

It says, oh, I get to do anything I want to do now.

That's childish.

But when you say this is a responsibility to future generations, this is a responsibility to generosity of the community.

This is a responsibility that we do this in a way that we honor grandpa's legacy.

This is a response.

You feel that weight.

It doesn't have to be stressful, but just the sense of that, that's the positioning of that in your spirit

really

says a lot about you.

It says you're very, very mature.

Congratulations.

I'm very proud.

Your grandpa's proud of you.

I can promise you.

I can promise you.

We're proud of you.

Yeah, and there's something too that it doesn't take the dignity of you all

away because of setting up your life as just you guys, almost pretending like you don't have it for a second as you're like, okay, here's our life.

Here's what we make.

We're going to live within our means.

And there's something in that that also gives you that dignity piece that it's not just completely stripped.

Because I think that's the other thing is it can feel so you can feel so numb if you get this money and you're just like, Oh, we're going to just travel the world and spend it forever and ever.

Amen.

And that's all we're going to do.

They're saying about having purpose specifically for you in your own story.

And same with your wife, of having purpose and you guys

make that.

There's dignity in that.

That's the right word.

You picked the right word.

I agree.

That puts the Sour of the Ramsey Show in the books.

We'll be back with you before you know it.

In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.