‘Out for Justice’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt

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The Rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network.

I'm Bill Simmons.

Kyle Brandt is here.

Great to see you.

Hope you're off-season.

The NFL is going fantastic.

And we've done,

this will be

our third

Steven Seagal movie.

It is called

Out for Justice, part of the three-word titles.

We're also doing Seagal Out of Order, which I can't wait to talk about.

But it's your favorite of the collection.

This is it.

This is if they asked you to do a director's commentary of any Steven Seagal movie.

This would be it.

With no football, did this give you the fuel post-draft that you needed to just survive as you hit it in the summer?

The Super Bowl was terrible.

The Eagles destroyed the Chiefs.

This is way, way better.

And I got fired up, Bill.

I walked around the neighborhood today just hitting people in the face with a cue ball and a towel.

It was awesome.

So I'm ready to go right now.

Did you have a guy named Styx and a guy named Tattoo with you or no?

Yeah, the Styx guy had sticks, and the tattoo guy was covered in tattoos.

That's my crew up here in the burbs.

I am so excited to do this movie.

This is a big one.

Well, we're going to take a break.

We're going to run the trailer.

And then Out for Justice is next.

Steven Segal.

He can take a compliment.

This guy's good, Richie.

He can take an insult.

One of these days, your wife's mouth is going to get the rest of your body in a whole lot of trouble.

He can even take a punch.

But what this cop's really best at

is taking out the garbage.

Steven Seagal, out for justice, Renadar.

Now playing at a theater near you.

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All right, here we go.

Special request by Kyle Brandt.

We did not have him on Big Ass 70s Month.

It's been a while since we've done a rewatchables.

I sent you a list.

And every time I send you a list, you just, you swap the list away by Mutumbo, like Takembe Mutumbo, and you go, Let's do Out for Justice.

Why aren't we doing Out for Justice?

How have we not done it yet?

You've been so passionate about it.

It's almost like Tom Cruise, it's your version of Scientology.

Why?

Because I've been lobbying this for five years.

Bill, you and I did our first rewatchables in 2020.

It was Teen Wolf.

It was COVID.

It was all that.

And I'm like, after Teen Wolf, I'm like, now that we've done that, how about Out for Justice?

And five years later, we're still doing it because it's my favorite Seagal movie because it's the most Segal of the Seagal movies.

And let me just put it in the rewatchables: what we've done.

So we've done Hard to Kill, which we love, but it's idiotic and we make fun of it.

We've done Under Siege, but Seagal is not the star of Under Siege.

The set pieces are.

And then Tommy Lee Jones steals it at the end.

Sagal has no ponytail.

He's kind of understated.

And then we get to this Out for Justice.

And it's just, give me an unmocked and a shotgun.

And it is full off-the-leash Seagal, and it's so fun to watch.

I'm so happy.

So, we did Hard to Kill because I had been obsessed with that movie since college when he wakes up out of the five-year coma and here's the guy and goes, I'm going to take you to the bank, the blood bank,

and then immediately gets back in incredible shape so he can fight, even though he's been in a coma.

And I really wanted to talk about that with you.

Under Siege is a classic.

As you mentioned, I think he's in at 41 minutes.

Here's why I offer Judge, and I'm so glad you rekindled my love for this movie.

And I watched it twice in the last four days, and I I had seen it a bunch of times on cable.

We did Cobra together,

which I think is one of the best ones we've ever done.

And one of the reasons we enjoyed it so much is it was sliced alone.

It was kind of his version of Apex Mountain, where it's just like nobody's saying no to anything.

He's just, it's sliced alone running amok.

for an entire action movie and nobody telling him like you shouldn't do that I don't know if that's a good idea he's just left to his own devices running amok and that's the gal in Alfred justice he is out of control some of the research for it is fantastic um just how out of control he was he really seems to think he's italian i know

you couldn't have put it better it's the cobra thing was we were like there's a part where cobra where he takes a piece of pizza out and cuts it with scissors and eats it and no one was like sly That doesn't make any fucking sense.

You can't do that.

Case in point.

You can't roll up to a murder scene as a narcotics cop with a fucking beret and a sleeveless shirt.

It doesn't make sense.

But no one was like, Steve, are you sure you should wear that beret?

Yeah, I like the beret.

The beret stays.

There's no one who could tell him no.

And the reason why, Bill, is because he's fucking cranking out hits right now.

He is cranking out number one movies every single time.

And it's like he, you can't tell him no because everything he says is turning to gold.

It's the fourth of the Saga movies, and we have not done above the law yet.

It's looming.

Sure.

It's not like we're not going to do above the law, but that was the first one.

And that we told the story in the previous Segal pods that he was a martial and martial arts instructor for Mike Ovitz, who was the most famous agent in Hollywood.

And he somehow decided you should be in a movie.

Stallone, Schwarzenegger, all these guys were super duper expensive.

It's like, what if we could just create our own version of those guys?

Which somehow they did.

So he makes Above the Law in 88,

successful.

Hard to kill in 90, Mason Storm, successful.

Also, that, was that the one where we have the intimacy coordinator, right?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He goes way over the line on that movie with an actress we've never heard from since because she's probably Patted Sal.

It's a.

She's just under a series of NDAs with Segal.

Yep.

He does Mark for Death.

Yep.

Probably the weakest of these first five.

Number one movie in America, Bill.

Number one again.

Him and Screwface.

It's all hits.

hard to kill and mark for death both 1990 and at that point they're like what's next steve yeah whatever he's like you know what's next for me i'm fascinated by uh the godfather italians brooklyn yep i was a big welcome back cotter fan once upon a time i would like to play gino toino and go into that world and if i can wear a beret and look like curtis seliwa and the guardian angels uh bonus and also nobody can land a punch in me for my fourth straight movie ever ever and understand this movie, what you just described, the stupid shit you just laid out.

Number one movie in America, two weeks in a row.

And let's remember the context of 91.

This is a year we're doing Sounds of the Lambs, Terminator 2, Point Break, Home Alone, City Slicker, just bangers.

Like cinema is massive.

And for two straight weeks until it was knocked out by Ninja Turtles, this was the number one movie in the world.

And it started in Brooklyn with Gino Folino.

And it's people liked it.

People came.

The critics fucking hated it.

We'll get into it.

But people were paying money to see this guy.

And I was one of them.

$14 million budget made $39.6 million and then was on cable for the next,

I would say, 20 years straight.

So probably even more than that.

And as you said, the critics hated it.

They hated Segal.

This was already, there's pieces.

I think he's hosting SNL right around this time where he became the most reviled host in SNL history.

The arrogance that he has during this movie is, you can't believe it.

You can't believe it.

Cobra, it's funny because I really thought we peaked with Cobra, but we just didn't.

He just adopts a dog randomly during the movie.

He goes into a pool bar.

He fights 15 guys.

Nobody lands a punch on him.

He's divorced, but then

seemingly just gets his wife back over the course of 60 seconds.

She says one nice thing to him and he goes, we're talking reconciliation over here.

And then they're back together.

And also, like like the Stallone thing with Cobra, he has a lot of skins on the wall, sly.

He's done all of the Rocky and he's done Rambo.

It's like, I'm going to do this crazy thing.

Stigal's first acting experience was Above the Law.

Never any little cameo, never some sitcom walk-on.

He had never done anything until he was the star of a movie.

That's almost unheard of.

So he plays Nico Discani in Above the Law.

His first foray into pretending he was Italian, but he's just not Italian.

Then he's Mason Storm.

Great name.

He plays Hatcher and Mark for Death.

Yep.

Hatcher.

And he just couldn't get the Italian out of his system.

And he had to be Gino Folino.

First of all, did he come up with that?

Was there a spitball session?

Did he like the name Gino?

Is he a Papa Gino's guy?

How do we even get to that point?

And why did they think it should rhyme?

It's a great question.

Gino Toretto was, I think, big at the time.

The Miami Hurricanes quarterbacks.

I think that could have been an inspiration.

Why not just name him Gino Toretta?

Fine.

Gino Toretta would have been a better name.

The thing with Gino Folino is

it's a fictional character.

You can name him anything you want.

You're not married to the name.

Of all the options they picked, they went with Gino Folino.

And the Italian thing is so fun in this because as we've talked about, we've seen Segal as like, he's Italian here.

We've seen him as Japanese.

We're going to see him as Native American.

He's Russian.

We're doing that too on deadly ground.

Yeah, yeah.

we're going to do that.

And I think in 2025, he's Russian.

I think at one point he was also black.

So he's done it all.

Like they say Daniel Day is the chameleon, but Stagal will play any ethnicity or race ever.

And he is playing the shit out of the Italian here.

It's so turned up.

It's out of control.

One of the fun things about how rewatchable this movie is,

he really Italians it up for the first 15 minutes.

Okay.

It's like he was in acting class or he was practicing it in front of a mirror.

So when this movie kicks up, he's like this.

And then, about the 45-minute mark, he starts sounding more like Seagal.

That's so true.

With like a little, and he just never lands on what the accent should be.

But that first 15 minutes, where he's basically singing his dialogue.

He's like, Copran, who the fuck are you?

Why are you doing this?

It reminds me of the Costner Prince of Thieves, where occasionally he'll just do a scene in British for some reason.

But when Seagal is doing it, he's like, His acting coach is like, Steve, try to be the most Italian person who ever lived.

It's like Roberto Benini meets Chef Boy RD with like some Super Mario.

Like, it's a me, a Gino.

Hey, it's so much.

Take it easy, Steve.

But he doesn't.

See, my theory in this is he watched the first Godfather movie, Enzo the Baker,

when he cut, we see him in the beginning.

Or that Enzo the Florist, whatever he was.

And then he comes in later when the Godfather has been shot.

Yeah.

And Michael Corleone is trying to figure out why there's no guards for his dad.

And he's like, it's me, it's Enzo.

And he just has that Italian thing.

And I think Segal is like, I think that's the accent.

I know.

And he goes, nobody in Brooklyn has an accent this crazy.

Like, nobody.

And what's funny is in the research, William Forsyth, who's great in this movie, he's the bad guy.

Richie.

Segal at one point gives him pointers.

He's like, I think that your Brooklyn accent, I think it needs some work.

Here are my thoughts.

And Forsyth's like, my accent needs Forsyth was from Brooklyn.

It was actually how we talked.

talked.

And he was like, you're giving me pointers at a Brooklyn accent?

But that's how reviled Segal was.

He has so much power and sway that one of the stories in the research that's too good to wait for Half Fest or Give it.

What do you got?

I love this stuff.

He feels like Forsyth is stealing the movie from him.

And one of the reasons this movie is only an hour 27 is because there's multiple Forsyth scenes cut.

Oh, that's great.

Because Segal saw some cut of it and was like, I think we need to tone down Forsyth.

Because he's too good.

I think he's dialing it up too much.

Like basically, like,

but basically, so Forsyth has multiple scenes and you can see it in the trailer and then the commercials.

There's extra scenes that they just, they just cut.

So can you, I'm trying to think of a comp.

Can you imagine they're shooting the dark night?

And Bale goes to Nolan and is like, Heath is stealing the movie, Chris.

You got to cut his scenes.

It's a bloody Batman movie, not Joker.

Because he was so insecure because ledger was stealing the movie and that is a perfect sagal anecdote this guy that we found who played the villain in my stupid movie is killing it so

get him out and he's from brooklyn so now i'm insecure and he's going to make fun of my accent get him out and yet he's the best part of the movie richie's amazing i've tried to do this with old rewatchables episodes i told i talked to craig i was like we've got to cut out like 20 minutes of rascillo in the town just cut out a lot of his best parts he's upstaging me like i can't imagine what kind of ego you would have to have to, instead of thinking, the villain in this movie is so good, it will make the movie much better, to Segal immediately being threatened by it.

It was like, we got to cut some of these guys' scenes.

Listen, it's a classic, classic trend.

Let's not, listen.

How badly did Tom Brady want Jimmy Garoppolo off the Patriots?

Let's call it what it is.

It's this guy is good.

He's probably better looking than me.

He's younger than me.

Get him the fuck out of here.

And he was gone and never heard from in New England again.

That's the kind of thing that happens.

So Forsyth, and you can feel it the more you watch this movie, because there's a 25-minute stretch where Sigal is like, has anyone seen Richie?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we don't have, we're missing like two Forsyth scenes.

And every time it goes to Forsyth, it's like, I couldn't be more interested.

I know.

This guy's a fucking crack, cocaine,

homicidal maniac.

When he kills that lady in the car,

that's clearly, I'll do an award now.

That's clearly the, okay, motherfucker.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

That's like, whoa, he just fucking killed this poor lady who's just trying to make her right.

Okay.

And then we don't see him for 20 minutes.

So this is the first R-rated movie I ever saw in the theater.

I was 12 years old and I went with my dad.

And so he kills Bobby and that sucks.

And it's really intense.

And I'd seen shit like that before.

Two seconds later, when he drags that soccer mom out of the station wagon and blows her head off, I was so disturbed and so scared.

And to this day, It's really fucked up to watch, but it's the most important part of the movie because for the rest of the movie, you're you're terrified of Richie because he's a psychopath and he doesn't care what happens to him.

That movie, that's a classic, okay, motherfucker.

This, that's less, you know, this isn't some bullshit marked for death.

This isn't that hard to kill.

This is out for justice.

And we're breaking the rules here.

That's why this movie is amazing.

It's gritty as shit.

Let's not forget, Bill, the opening frames of the movie are a man beating the shit out of a pregnant woman while Segal watches.

Like, it is really, really dark and on the edge.

It's not, I'm out of a comb and I have a fake mustache, you know?

these are all great points.

I almost have nothing to add.

I do want to do a little extra on Seagal, though.

Let's go.

Because I was trying to think there in this one, especially to watch this movie twice in three days is like a real sickness.

You could say it's for your job.

I could have watched it once and tried to cut corners.

And I was like, I was like, you know what?

I kind of want to watch this the second time.

I don't know what this says about me as a human being.

And I don't really feel this way anymore with a lot of people because I think our culture is so self-aware now of at all times.

We're just constantly self-aware with the, with very few exceptions.

Like Stan Bangundi is not self-aware.

Like he'll just, just, just, just talk for three hours during a basketball game.

And he's just

not aware that we're my lay, maybe, maybe tone it back.

Stan or Jeff?

Which one's self-aware?

I feel like Jeff.

Jeff is self-aware.

Stan doesn't seem to be self-aware.

No,

regardless, we had this era of 80s, 90s, where you have all these stars who were just not self-aware that's kind of my unintentional comedy sweet spot i know i love it the most i always felt like one of the things with arnold he was always aware smart he was always like this is how i'm perceived this is what i'm gonna dole out i always felt like this was one of the most interesting things about mike tyson who was you know a maniac but I always felt like he understood how he was being perceived.

And then you take Stallone, who loses his mind because he comes too famous.

And then over here is Segal,

who is such an egomaniac without the same kind of success,

but has no idea that he's a maniac.

And that scene, I put it on the Rewatchables Twitter feed, when he's just walking through, doing anyone's seen Richie and the camera's coming close to him.

And I don't know how you don't do a second take of that.

It's like, this is too over the top, Steve.

I know.

You just come off like a huge douchebag.

Like you're the star of the movie.

Are you sure you want to do this?

And he's just like, no, run it.

I really like it.

I like the way that camera looks.

I think you're on to something of also why this movie is so fun.

I think this is when Segal landed on the self-awareness.

This is the, they had a few ramp-up movies.

This is a full Segal movie where he's in almost every scene.

He's very serious.

And I think, like, Swarzenegger was literally a politician.

Like, he became the governor because he was tactical and smart.

Segal was this martial arts guy who stumbled into a movie career.

And I think now is when he's like, I'm a star.

Every shot needs to be about me.

The SNL thing we've talked about a lot, and it's so amazing.

Odin Kirk tells this story about Seagal that is so perfect.

And Bob Odenkirk's writing at the time and he's writing a Hans and Franz sketch.

Hans and Franz, huge deal at the time.

Seagal is going to be in it.

He presents it to Seagal and Seagal says, if I do the sketch, if I have to beat up Hans and Franz at the end of it.

And that's Steven Seagal.

It's these two morons and stuffed sweatsuits and it's Dana Carvey and Kevin Neal, but he's like, I won't do the sketch unless at the end of it, I beat them up.

And I know we're going to talk about how Seagal doesn't take hits in these movies.

It's all intentional.

It's all part of his plan that, like, I always win.

And it's just insecurity and ego.

And this movie is the apex of it, I think.

By the way, that's one of the things.

It's not just about movies.

Even like in podcasting, you have to be able to sell other people.

I know.

And you win if the episode's good or if the podcast is good.

And the people that don't understand that usually have bad podcasts or podcasts you don't ultimately want to listen to or go on.

Seagal, it's a zero-sum game.

So the Forsyth thing is so funny because he's threatened because Forsyth might upstage him.

He's not thinking about this is actually great for my movie.

I know.

But it's the same thing with the fights.

He's the only action star out of all of these movies, really ever, that is never threatened.

The way he basically approaches his career as an action movie star is like Goldberg in the WCW or Ultimate Warrior, where it's I come out, the crowd goes nuts, I clothesline somebody a couple times, they they sell everything I do and then I pin them and I never even take a punch.

And he he thought that was his career.

I know he one guy hits him with a stick with a pool cue.

Yep.

15 people.

So one time he takes a hit.

I know.

But I don't know why, but why wouldn't he think like it's actually better for the fight scenes, maybe if it looks like I'm in trouble a couple of times he's like i never want to be in trouble it's a sign of weakness especially since there is a money-making number one movie in the world template right now arnold sly van dam get the kicked out of them and they're drooling bloody pulps and then they make a comeback sogal said no no no i'm not gonna do that and it's like when you don't have any risk of being hurt Like, what is the, what is the stakes?

There's, and I can bring this up now, Bill, because now that you've done the Star Wars rewatchables you're like one of you're like one of ours now you're like a friend of ours instead of a friend of mine it really won me over i'm almost i'm thinking about empire dude but maybe diving into that pretty soon we could do a side podcast i would do a podcast about the star wars i was so proud of you guys it was such a triumph and it had my favorite thing that happens in the rewatchables universe is when you take fantasy to a part where he's just kind of too uncomfortable and is looking to move past the topic when you were talking about chewbacca's balls and shitting and fantasy's like oh let's move on i was like no stay with this I want to talk about Chewbacca taking shits on the Falcon.

I want to hear about this.

So I loved it.

I loved it.

But there's this, there's a classic moment

where George Lucas is showing off to Steven Spielberg the new droids that would be in the prequels.

And he says to them, yeah, the Jedis will cut through these like butter.

And all the fans are like, that's not an enemy.

If the Jedis can beat them with zero resistance, there's no stakes.

And Segal kind of has that.

He won't even so much as take a punch and then make a comeback.

His face is clean after fighting 15 guys.

That's him.

So, do you think Chewbacca had an asshole or no?

Not only do I think he had one, Bill, it's a great question.

I think Chewbacca took disgusting, huge Wookiee shits.

And I'll tell you that because Chewbacca is an eater.

Because in episode six, Return of the Jedi, he falls into a trap that the Ewok set where there's meat hanging.

He grabs it.

They get in the net.

And then Han Solo says, always thinking with your stomach.

So Chewie likes to eat.

And I bet he has destroyed the Millennium Falcon laboratory before.

So yes, I think he has all that stuff.

And it's a disgusting Wookiee dumps that he takes.

Yeah.

Listen,

if you're going to eat human food, it somehow has to leave your body at some point.

It's just the law of digestion.

A couple more Steven Seagal things that I wrote down.

I love this.

Well, it's just, if you're just talking about like just small pieces, little breadcrumbs that he

spreads through the movie.

At one point, he says, Madon, Madon,

which is usually the Italians say madon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he does like the Madon.

Like he mangles that, but feels like he had to do it because he's Italian.

There's a baseball dad moment.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

That's the most disappointing non-film scene, I think, of the 90s.

I know.

He's got the glove.

He's holding it.

He's holding it like, I don't, I know.

I don't know what his arm's doing, but it's not kind of how you hold it.

Damn it, Bill.

You stole my flex category.

All right.

Come on, Craig.

Oh, do it.

Craig, do it now.

Come on, Zoom.

Just join us right now.

Okay.

My flex category is the Tom Cruise Award for the most valiant attempt to emulate a normal human.

And it's Sakal acting like he knows how to play catch with his son, which has, which includes the quote, when his son walks out, you got the mitt.

I got the ball.

You got the bat.

Let's go.

So

I had the Ed Norton Reverse Dunk Award for did this movie need to have a random sports scene crammed into it.

I know.

Just take us to the park.

I know.

Why does the son have a bat?

Who plays catch with an eight-year-old where it's like, yeah, take some cuts.

Is he hitting grounders to him?

I don't know.

They have a baseball.

He's just going to be pelting line drives into crowds.

I wanted to see Seagal.

Kyle, I wanted to see him throw a baseball.

So badly that I hadn't seen this movie in a couple of years.

And when he got the glove, I was like, I can't remember.

Does he have a catch?

I was like, I was out of my mind.

I wonder if you guys are.

You guys have seen every Seagal movie.

Does he play sports in any movie ever?

No.

No.

No.

No.

Martial arts.

Yes, he plays the sport of martial arts, Craig.

And I listen.

The real shame of the murder of Bobby Lupo was not that he was killed in front of his wife and kids, is that it just interrupted us getting to see Stephen Frederick Seagal throw a baseball.

I have a feeling that Seagal would have made Tom Cruise look like Pedro Martinez.

Like, we needed to see that shit so bad.

You don't go and hit grounders with your son with one baseball.

You got to bring a bucket.

It's ridiculous.

Right.

You need at least 10 baseballs.

And the itinerary, the like the

listing of items that you hit on, Craig, it's so, you've never done this before.

Let's see.

Baseball, bat, ball, glove.

I had this unanswerable question.

Bring your bet, Bobby.

Yeah, you got a bet.

I got a ball.

It's baseball.

My unanswerable question was, has Steven Seagal ever in his life ever held a baseball in his hand?

Let alone thrown one?

And I don't know what the answer.

I think it may be no.

I love where we've just thrown away all the categories.

Because one of my unanswerable questions is, would the greatest scene of the 90s have been there was a cop softball game like at the five-minute mark and Seagal's playing short, but he's wearing like his beret and his sleeveless outfit.

Oh my God.

And he has the ponytail out the back of his little beret.

Yeah, it's basically the crew's few good men, but it's Seagal and Bobby's on the team and a bunch of the cops.

And Seagal, of course, would have to hit the game-winning Grand Slam.

Of course, yeah, and like pick up his son around third base.

Hey, bada, bada, bada, hey, Bobby, yeah, he's pitching, yeah, he's pitching, he's doing like this crazy underhand thing where they have to cut to the stunt man, throwing the ball.

Like, it's it would have been the greatest six minutes of the night.

Yo, how about when he hits one in the gap and he's running around the bases, and he's ran in second like this and sliding into home, and they're sending Segal.

Oh, we need that.

God, there's just never been a more inauthentic sports scene, and he's not even playing sports in the scene.

No, it's still that issue.

Even the way he's on the phone, just the way he's holding the mitt, it's just clear he had never held a baseball glove

ever in his life.

I got the ball.

You got the bat.

Let's go.

The glove's too small.

He looks like he's in the 1920s playing with like Rogers Hornsby.

Like, immediately, he should have been like, I need a bigger glove.

This glove's too small.

I can barely fit my hand in it.

But he's never touched a baseball glove.

So he doesn't know.

No, he's got shoeless Joe's glove, and they're walking out to have a catch.

And it's the whole scene is like, Did you finish your homework?

No.

All right, who cares?

Let's go play catch.

Come on.

And he doesn't know what he's doing.

His dad never played catch with him.

It's so, it's such a great call, Craig.

Well, it has, it also has Craig doesn't have kids yet.

He will at some point.

I have over-under for, I'm going to say two and a half kids, over-under for Craig.

I would also bet the alt three and a half on FanDuel for plus 150.

Seems like you have inside info, but yeah, I bet.

I bet the alt.

But

when you have kids, they have have this scene before they play baseball where, where, what's the kid's name, Bobby?

Tony.

Tony?

Yeah, his name's Tony.

Tony walks by Segal.

He's like, oh, let's go get your stuff.

Yeah.

And then he just kicks him in the ass.

Yep.

Did you notice that?

Yep.

I've never in a million years would just kick my son in the ass as they walk by me.

It's like Segal had like never been around a little kid before.

Yeah.

It's like, well, how do I interact?

Maybe I'll kick him in the ass.

And by the way, Bill, he only sees his son one weekend out of the month per his yeah because he kicks him yeah but that's probably the courts decided he you you know he's abusive it wasn't because he's wrapped up in his job it's because he actually kicks the child and that actually kicked him on one weekend that's a great call i promise you if you've ever had a little boy if you kick your little boy in the ass as he walks by you he would stop and immediately come back with fists because that's when little kids have that superpower they'll punch you right in the balls like they'll they're ready to go

they just want to fight so i don't know it struck me it's a great shame if we could have, never mind the Norton dunk.

Like Norton would have been Dominique Wilkins.

Like, if we could have seen Seagal make one throw with a baseball, it's all we needed.

We didn't get it.

So the sports movie

consultancy group that I've always wanted to start, I'd like to cross that with if we had a time machine

and we could take that back into the late 80s, early 90s, and we were on this set, we would talk them into a softball game.

I would actually want two scenes.

And then, like, did Seagal never had like a basketball scene, right?

No.

That would be another one that would be amazing.

He's got two hoops.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The closest thing is he's beaten people with a baseball bat, but I don't count that.

I would want to be in the Out for Justice universe and take the bullet for Bobby just so they can go and have the game.

So bad.

Just tell me how it was, guys.

I'll dive in front of it.

I want this game.

Segal top five celebrity all time.

You would have wanted to see shoot hoops for me.

Number one.

He's 40 seconds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I saw Peter Schrager firing some shots shots on some set this week.

I got to say, his jump shot looks so good that Joe House texted me randomly and said, Did you see Schrager's jump shot?

Yeah, that's a really nice jump shot.

Peter is varsity basketball in high school.

Like, Peter knows what he's doing.

And he just asked him.

He'll tell you.

He can play.

I think he would have been a huge favorite against Seagal.

Okay.

No, thank you.

We're going to take a break.

No, we're going to take a break.

And then we're going to do more about this movie.

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All right, come back.

We could talk about Seagal all day.

We got to talk about our guy, Billy Forsyth, please, who completely upstages Seagal,

who was way in this movie

probably 20 extra minutes.

And then Seagal complained.

But this movie apparently had more plot,

more characters,

and was like a two-plus hour.

The writer-director, this guy, John Flynn, who wrote Rolling Thunder, a beloved movie for Sean and Chris.

He directed Bestseller.

He directed Lock Up, a movie that we're probably going to do in the Rewatchables, one of the great sports scenes in a non-sports movie.

And I feel like this was, he was thinking this could be like a discount godfather three

type.

Like, I'm gonna dive into Brooklyn and Italian culture and people who grew up together.

And one guy's on the wrong side of the tracks, and one guy's on the right, and then it somehow turns into a Sagal movie.

And

I don't know what else happened, but I know this: there's two montage scenes in this movie, and the reason they have them is because at some point, Warner Brothers decided you got to go under 90 minutes.

Because the head of Warner Brothers, Craig Korlbeck, was like, I don't don't ever want to sit in the movie theater for more than 90 minutes.

So they either cut movies or cut scenes or made montage scenes.

And that's why we have those two montage scenes.

And that's why there's all this William Forsyth footage where it's like, boy, that would have been cool to see.

Yeah.

I would have liked to have seen that.

And that's the answer.

There's actually a scene that's in the montage, which is William Forsyth killing John Leguizamo.

And it's like, shit.

That's a scene in the movie.

Can we watch that?

No, it's five seconds.

You barely see Leguizamo's face.

But as we've talked about, like, I don't want to see the two-hour, 11-minute version of this.

I really don't.

It's awesome how it is.

I like the montages.

I wish they'd do more montages now.

I just saw the Mission Impossible movie.

It was great.

Could have used some montages like this one.

They clean things up quickly and we get in and get out.

I like them.

You wouldn't have gone two hours and 50 minutes for the new Mission Impossible movie if you were in charge.

No.

And I saw that in the theater.

Like it was 20 years ago.

And like the first hour is slow.

First hour.

And then it gets cooking.

But yeah, I could have used a few montages in that first hour.

Well, this movie is half as long as the Mission Impossible movie.

Forsyth,

I mean, he had a big role early in his career at Dick Tracy.

Yep.

Before this movie.

Yeah.

And then kind of eventually settled into

he was on cable a lot.

He was usually a bad guy.

It never 100% happened for him.

And I honestly think this is the best he's ever been in a movie.

He's unbelievable.

He's terrifying.

He's scary.

He's totally bought in.

And you know this because if you see an interview with William Forsyth, he's like a nice, nerdy guy.

He's not, there's no Richie about him.

I love my Forsyth.

He has a great scene in the rock in the interrogation room with Sean Connery when he throws him the quarter.

And then he, like, he's, he's a super badass and that.

He had a great, he was like a cool, like violent butcher in the Boardwalk Empire show on HBO, but classic character actor.

And like, I've seen interviews with him where people, Bill, like.

to this day, 30 years later, when he's like at the grocery store, someone will walk out and go, hey, Richie.

People know he's Richie.

And if I saw Forsyth, I'd be like, hey, it's Richie.

I'd have to do it.

You would definitely get the picture and then do the Instagram post with, has anyone seen Richie?

Oh, wait, I did or whatever.

I would go up to him and say, Richie, why did you do Bobby Lupo?

He would be an asshole.

Why?

Why did he do Bobby Lupo?

I watched the movie twice.

I still don't.

That's a little unclear.

I just think they were having sex with the same woman.

It's not clear, though.

And who cares?

Well, there were definitely some scenes missing.

So, um,

so on the uh,

what do I have?

What else do I have here?

Oh, John Flynn.

We did.

We did the budget.

And then, um, the only other thing is it's disappointing.

Honestly, it hurts.

Ebert didn't review this.

Didn't even review it.

Didn't review it.

They did some.

That's bullshit.

They did

Siskel and Ebert TV show.

And you're not going to believe it, but he wasn't a huge fan.

Two thumbs down.

Just, I think he was pretty done with Seagal at this point.

Number one movie, Raj.

Sorry.

The people like it.

Listen, this wasn't Raj's cup of tea.

So that's where we go.

All right.

Most re-watchable scene.

Yeah.

You mentioned the opening credits.

where the movie is just clearly saying right away we're going for a ride.

Look, it's ridiculous.

It's like the stereotypical 1970s pimp getting

a little frisky with a hooker, and then Seagal has to come in and literally beat the hell out of him.

But

it ends with him flipping the guy over into a car.

And then you see from the car angle a shot of Seagal peeking in,

and it freeze frames with the credits.

Steven Seagal.

It is the most 80s, 90s moment of the movie.

I got to say, it's amazing.

It's one of the better opening credits things that I could, gimmicks that I can remember.

You laugh, you say, fuck yeah.

And it's like the pimps' red socks are in the frame.

And there's just the gall freeze frame.

Let's go.

I want to watch it again right now.

It's, it's, it's, it's my great, great shot, Gordo.

We can do that topic right now, too, because I, it's the best shot in the movie.

It makes me so happy.

No question.

Um, next one I have is

it's the beret scene.

It's Gino sees Bobby's body.

He tells Sarge he's going to hunt the killers down.

And he's doing everything as Enzo in the Godfather one.

I'm going to hunt him down.

It's going to be fun.

It's just,

and

the regard that he's held by the rest of the police force, because we see this in 80s movies where it's like, you think you're bigger than the force, you think you're bigger than your badge, you're not playing by the rules.

I know.

Everybody in this movie is like, Gino's got it.

He doesn't play by the rules.

So let's let him cook.

There's one cop of black and white that comes over and gives him a shotgun.

He's like, go get him, Gino.

And he's like, I got him.

He's on Gino's team.

Yeah, it's just like, no rules apply to Gino.

Don't worry about him not playing.

We don't have the, every one of these movies has the cop who's on the other side who's like, I'm watching you, Gino.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This time you're going to have to play by the rules or I'm going to come get you myself.

We don't have that guy.

You have Jerry Orbach, the venerable Tony Award-winning thespian, being like, yeah, I don't know, Gino, maybe you stay out of this one.

He's like, fuck that.

Give me the shotgun.

All right.

He does his

thing.

It's so great.

I love that character.

It would have been funny if Jerry Orbach is like, Gino, you've carte blanche to do whatever you want, but the beret.

It's just

weird.

It's just weird.

I just don't.

Why are you doing it?

Gino, the guys are talking about the beret.

It's making everybody.

I don't understand.

Can I have?

I don't want your peace and shield, but give me the beret.

The guardian angels aren't even cool anymore.

I know.

Gino.

Like, just stop.

The funny thing is, before that scene even starts, like, how hilarious is it that this movie starts with a dead serious Arthur Miller quote?

Oh, I forgot to mention that.

I had that from the top.

It's such a great, jarring way to start this.

I'm so glad you mentioned that.

It starts with an Arthur Miller quote, and within two and a half minutes, Segal is beating up a pimp.

Do you think when Arthur Miller was writing Death of the Salesman, he's like, someday Gino Folina will kill Richie with a corkscrew?

I actually heard Arthur Miller did a treatment of the script, and he's like, no, no, no, no.

You need Richie to kill a guy who's a paraplegic, who hasn't had any pussies since 1969.

We got to get that guy in there.

They're like, all right, you're the goat.

Unbelievable.

While to the stranger's eye, one street was no different from one another.

We all knew where our neighborhood somehow ended.

Beyond that, a person was a stranger.

And then it says, Arthur Miller, playwright, raised in Brooklyn.

This movie has high ambitions for 10 seconds, and then it goes straight down.

Do you think Arthur Miller was like, he's just in the movie theater?

He's a Seagal guy.

And he's like, wait, what the fuck?

Why am I being quoted in this?

He wanted it disavowed because you're right.

10 seconds later, there's a pimp beating up a pregnant woman.

Also, we have one,

this entire movie is about Gino and Bobby's friendship and the revenge.

We get one scene with Gino and Bobby, and it is the worst scene in the movie.

It's two people that act like they have never spoken to each other before.

And Gino's like, I don't know what changes are worse.

Hey, Bobby,

you kind of see him off.

No, I'm fine, Gino.

Absolutely.

It's like you're talking to someone in a dentist's office.

That's like the Gino and Bobby, guys, can we get one more take award?

Because it's so, so stiff and bad.

And that's

so funny that Gino would notice anything about another human being.

He's like the most conceited, self-serving guy.

That's true.

He's like, oh man, Bobby, like, you don't even know Bobby's sitting next to you.

I know.

In that scene with the beret.

Yeah.

At some point, for some reason, his soon-to-be ex-wife is in this scene.

Yep.

She shows up.

To check in on Bobby's ex-wife.

Uh-huh.

And then they have some, they have like a weird exchange, and Segal goes, Don't worry, Vic.

I'll make it to the divorce hearing on time.

Okay.

It's like a dig.

Yep.

It's like, why?

Why not?

Petty.

Really petty.

She's petty.

Like, the real story is: Gino sucks.

Yeah.

Sucks as a dad.

Sucks as a husband, obviously.

Terrible best friend.

No idea that he had, that his best friend was going through anything.

And just a bull in a china shop.

Sucks.

And

we got to have some conversations about that actress that plays the wife.

That's got to come up later.

I had her in recasting.

I would have thought maybe she might end up there.

I got her too.

So Gino, Gino decides to rescue a dog.

All right, let's talk about it.

You're talking about Caraggio?

He names him Caraggio.

Great name for a dog.

But it leads to the next rewatchable scene where

he has a chase.

He's adopted this dog.

He's had this dog for 10 minutes.

This dog, God only knows what's happened to this dog.

Like, God only knows.

Whatever happened to the dog led to the dog in a burlap bag being thrown out of a terrible car.

Gino picks the dog up, puts him in the passenger seat, starts talking to the dog.

Dog seems like, all right, I'm a little rattled.

Gino proceeds to go on a car chase where he's on the side of the road where you're just going up and down, like you're on like a roller coaster bed.

The car is just jumping up and down.

We don't see the dog.

There's no cuts to the dog.

We have no idea.

Is the dog throwing up?

Is the dog like, can you just throw me back in the street?

I was happier in a burlap bag.

We don't see the dog for another half hour.

The dog's in the car during this car chase.

Gino doesn't care.

No, poor Caraggio, not buckled in.

It'd be like having a car seat in the back, like nothing.

We don't see the dog like jumping during the bumps.

That's so great.

I didn't even think about that.

And then

he goes into the Italian store and wipes out six guys and breaks two arms.

Yep.

Because at that point, Sagal is like, this is my move.

People want it.

Yeah.

I get, I do a cross, I turn,

break.

A lot of wrist, a lot of arm.

And as usual in that, in that deli shop, the strategy when you got numbers on Sagal is, all right, guys, let's surround them.

And then somebody goes, should we all jump them at once?

And it's like, no, no, no.

Let's each take turns sprinting as fast as we can, one by one.

It reminds me when the debate was going on of like the hundred guys versus the gorilla.

And everyone's like, could the humans do it?

Not if they go one by one.

Those morons, they never just jump him and beat the shit out of them.

It's they take turns in every movie.

That's script.

This was how the baseball furies fell apart against the three Warriors and the Warriors.

No doubt.

They caught up to him.

The one guy, the weak guy, couldn't run anymore.

Probably too many parliaments.

Yep.

And they stop, and it's three against seven.

But then the baseball furies tried to have honor with the fight.

And they just all, they all have baseball bats.

Just like, let's all jump on these guys and beat them to death.

No, they went one by one, which was the mistake.

I know.

Same thing in the Italian store.

And they had weapons, too.

They had like a machete.

Yeah.

Lose this fucking guy already hang him on a hook see richie's so good in every scene

the pool table scene which is the scene of the movie yeah

this is can we agree this is the most re-watchable scene or would you have something else no no this is this is the best scene of segal's career i have look how long my list is of notes that i have let's get into it i have a lot of notes too First of all,

here's my big picture question.

Eddie Murphy, his star-making role in 48 hours, the big scene was the torches scene.

Yeah, sure.

When he goes in and like wipes out this redneck bar.

Do you think Seagal was influenced by that scene with this scene?

I feel like Seagal doesn't watch movies.

He doesn't even know who Eddie Murphy is.

The other thing about him on SNL is all the cast members said that all week he would just kept saying, I've never seen the show before.

I don't know the show.

And they're like, you know, I'm on Saturday Night Live.

I don't think he knows who Eddie Murphy is.

I don't think he knows.

Fair.

Hey, Officer Big Shack coming to bust my balls.

Anyway, this launches, has anyone seen Richie?

Yep.

Anybody's seen Richie?

Huh?

I'm going to keep coming back till somebody remembers seeing Richie.

Which is your favorite line probably of any movie ever?

Non-Star Wars?

Yeah.

It's his, I'll be back.

It's the line that is associated with Steven Seagal, and he gets it yelled at him too.

I've read about it in public.

He'll go, it'll be literally with like Vladimir Putin and some Russian guy goes, Anybody's seen Richie?

Like, it's all around him.

People yell at.

This is like, I'm not doing shtick.

I'm not exaggerating.

I don't think there's a movie scene in history that I enjoy more than I enjoy this scene.

You could take any of the Copacabana and Goodfellas, anything in Boogie Nights, all my favorite movies.

This start to finish is maybe my favorite movie scene ever made.

It's so perfect and so fun and so entertaining.

The characters, it's like the slimy bookie, tattoos, slip guy in a jacket, sticks.

Sticks.

And and it's like, he just takes them one down after another.

And the funny thing about sticks is that Vinny calls sticks in, like Joe Torre, Colin, and Mariana, like out of the bull.

He literally snaps his fingers and goes, all right, he's worked his way through the rotation.

Sticks, you take him.

And then they have a stick fight in the middle of the bar.

And I'm just riveted every single time.

Sticks is the classic, you only have one job.

You're in the corner.

Your name is.

We're probably never going to need you, but if we do need you, it's time for sticks.

And then sticks somehow gets beaten.

I was thinking about it.

I'm trying to think if there's a funnier scene in the 90s.

It wasn't as funny in the moment as it is now.

But like when I watch,

if I watch, like, I think we both really like there's something about Mary.

And it has some really funny scenes in it, right?

Dumb and dumber.

There's, there's some great comedies in the 90s where you're like, oh man, I love that part.

Tommy Boy.

Yeah, yeah.

Tommy Boy still makes me laugh.

So I don't think this is funnier than Tommy Boy.

And it's probably not in the elite, elite top, top level of comedy but nothing is funnier than when he goes behind the bar and starts breaking glasses and then gets to the whose hot dog is this huh this is yours i know it's just the weirdest craziest ad-lib he's ever done in his career what made him pick up the hot dog and then go whose hot dog is this is this it's just a hot dog on a hot dog burner i know It's like the actors say, they use the expression, explore the space.

Right.

He's just ad-libbing there.

That's obviously not.

He found a hot dog.

Who's hot?

He doesn't even, it's not even in a bun.

It's the naked wiener.

And he's flashing it and then just tosses it at somebody.

And then seconds later, it's, who's the boxer here?

You got the gloves over here, pictures.

And that's like, you're a tough guy.

It's the exchange.

Yeah, so good.

I was thinking when he grabs the hot dog, the director was probably.

you know, doing the thing where he's looking through the square.

And when he grabs the hot dog and he's like, whose hot dog is this?

Is this yours?

The director has probably like looked at the guy next to him, like, the fuck is he doing?

Just let him keep going.

We gotta run.

Just don't know, just don't know.

We'll cut it later.

We'll cut it later.

And then he's like, I fucking hate this guy.

I'm keeping the hot dog in.

I know.

And the hot dog, we're talking about it.

It's memorable.

When I watched it this last time, I landed on something that I've never before.

This scene reminds me of the Alec Baldwin Glenn Gary scene.

And it's like, you have this super slick, dark-haired guy walk into this room full of kind of losers sitting around, and he just puts them all in their place, one after another.

Then they kind of try to fight back, and he takes them out at the knees.

Like Ed Harris is the bartender who boxes, and he's basically like, A, anybody S seen R.

Richie, anybody seen Richie, and walks out of there.

And it's like, that guy just dominated this entire fucking room.

What a scene.

I love it.

Well, that one guy.

There's some great bad guys.

You did a good job of laying out all the different, but there's the one guy with the long beard whose cigal knocks out his teeth.

Tattoo from Attica.

Yeah.

And when they start looking at each other and the guy goes, there's only two things,

there's only two things stopping you, fear and common sense.

I'm like, great line.

I know.

Kind of,

it's a borderline might be able to use that for your high school yearbook.

Just like do that and say, attribute it to tattoos.

And at the time, I mean, listen,

there's so many things going on.

Right before that line, he is very steadily and quietly taken the cue ball and wrapped it in a bar towel, a move that he's never done before.

And it's the most amazing thing ever.

He's beating the shit out of these people with the bar with the bar towel right across the face.

Like he has definitely done it.

And like, God, it's so good.

It's so good.

And that's not forget, like in the middle of the scene, it comes to 5,000 for that badge right now.

And then the place goes nuts.

They set a bounty in the middle of the scene and guys just start throwing haymakers.

God, it's good.

Craig, can you come back for a second?

Come on, Craig.

Yeah.

Because

you've produced a lot of these,

including a lot of action movies you never saw before.

Is there a better action movie trick than wrapping something in a towel?

Whether it's a soda can.

We just think Deathwish.

He has a quarters in the sock and death wish.

It's the number one move, right?

Like if we ever write an action movie,

somebody's wrapping something into a sock or a towel.

It feels like, I feel like I could take down a bar of like 10 guys if I had like a cue ball wrapped in a sock.

I really do.

It just seems like you immediately have a superpower.

Yeah, it's like a makeshift nunchuck.

And it feels like you can pretty much fashion it out of anything in any room you're in.

You can create that type of weapon, which is why it's so great.

It's boring to have a sword or a knife, but a cue ball and a towel, quarters and a sock.

I would think if you had to rank things, you would wrap in a sock.

Cue ball is perfect.

Cue ball is perfect i don't know what's better than cue ball well i'll shout out to the kubrick full metal jacket when they haze private pile they put bars of soap in a sock and just smash it with the soap that i think the cue ball way more painful than than the bar of soap because quarters can like jingle around maybe they break all the quarters spill out like you get you wrap that cue ball in there i know Those things are hard.

What would be better than a cue ball?

You could do a glass, but the glass would break.

The glass would break and then it shards.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The best when we see tattoo later in the movie, he has a perfect cue ball-shaped wound in his forehead from right where that thing caromed off.

It's unstable.

It's just stitched.

It's just a gaping hole.

There's gangrene all.

It hasn't gotten the ER yet.

And the nuance of Seagal and the towel is there's this close-up where he is getting it really tight and then he makes it perfect, like crisp, like a Marine folding his sheets.

And then just BAM.

It's, God, it's so cool.

I keep saying that.

I was thinking that would be a good SNL sketch, and God knows SNL needs to help lately, but um, it's it would just be an ER scene where all the guys are in the waiting room in the ER after they've been beaten up by Steven Seagal.

Yep, one guy's just got a hole in his head, the other guy's missing teeth.

It's like, what happened?

I want Gino Torino came into our bar.

I want a

like MacGyver sketch where he has to create weapons out of different rooms.

He's in that would be great too.

They need to bring him back to be the host again.

All right, thanks, Craig.

Thanks for the cameo.

Um, Segal cleans out 12 guys in this scene.

Also, in the middle of the scene,

we hear words like jadrul and mamaluk.

Like he's doing all this Italian slang.

I don't even know what those words mean, but he's all over the place.

And he refers to Richie as a chicken shit fucking pussy asshole.

This is Shakespeare.

Wait,

and then like a minute later, somebody says a swear word.

He goes, whoa, whoa, this is no time for profanity.

And the swear word is prick.

It's like an entry-level swear word.

It's nothing.

It's exactly right.

A pussy asshole.

He also does

the last guy.

There's a phone booth.

Yeah.

Twice he gets him.

And he gets him and he just shoves him into the phone booth.

And it somehow completely incapacitates this guy.

He's gone.

I don't know.

I don't know if he got knocked out by the, but the phone hits him in the back of the head, but that guy's just...

He unloads two rounds into the ceiling.

And Vinny says, you could have killed somebody upstairs.

And he goes, but there ain't nobody upstairs.

And you laugh out loud.

It's a non-stop tour deforest scene.

Everything about it works.

When they do Harold Letterman, when he's scoring the bar fight, and he comes in, okay, Jim, I have a 10-7 round for Steven Seagal.

He knocked out 12 guys, took a stick to the leg, and that's it.

Jim, what about you?

10-7, Segal.

I want to get that hot dog, Jim.

Thank you.

Harold Letterman at Ringside, HBO Boxing.

Yeah, we needed Letterman on the Compu Box.

Well, runner's up for most rewatchable scene.

Oh, by the way, Seagal said that the movie Barbara in the Pool Hall hall was his personal favorite among all the fight scenes he's ever done.

That's his only good take.

That's Sagal's only good take ever.

He's watching it with friends.

He's like, Do you see what I did with the hot dog?

That wasn't in the script.

I lived that.

I saw the hot dog.

I was just like, it'd be funny if I did something with the hot dog.

And he was probably eating 12 hot dogs while he was watching the movie, too, if you've seen them lately.

Yeah, dying his Fu Manchu.

Next rewatchable scene, Gina Gershon's first scene.

Great to have her.

It's awesome.

What's up, Gina?

The combo of this and Cocktail in the same year.

It's not an Apex Mountain, but it was for me.

Anyway,

he says, how you doing, Patty?

And she says, I can still get it wet.

Hot.

Unbelievable.

That might be the peak exchange we've ever had in an action movie.

I can still get it wet.

I know.

I'm guessing, I think I know what she means.

I think she's talking about a vagina, Bill.

I think she might be.

And then Gino goes, I can't believe you can still eat with that mouth.

It's all out of the gates where I can still get it wet is a vile thing to say.

Well, it gets worse because after he's trying to get information about Richie.

Yeah.

Because he's trying to find Richie.

I haven't even seen Richie.

I'm text.

You bottom line the story of this movie.

What was your text?

If you had to tell someone what this movie is about, what is it about?

Let me see.

Because you had it very on the nose, very brief and concise.

If no one's ever seen Out for Justice, how would you describe the plot of the movie?

So, I texted you.

The key to this movie is

he's trying to find Richie and he wants to know if anyone's seen him.

That's it, it's all you need to know.

That's what the IMDb uh thing should say.

It's imperative that he find Richie, and he's doing everything he can, including going to his sister and talking about uh, what the blowjobs that she gives, right?

Well,

this is the exchange.

What do you got?

She, uh,

she goes, what do you want?

You want me to go give you a little head in the corner and make you forget?

And he goes, it's not going to make me forget.

You weren't, you were never that good.

Incredible.

And then she goes, go fuck yourself, Gino.

Like, that, like, really hit home.

But it's not going to make me forget you were never that good.

How does it work, Gino?

Am I supposed to give you a little head in the corner and you can forget about the whole thing?

It's not going to make me forget, Patty.

We're never that good.

Yeah, go fuck yourself, Gino.

You're under arrest.

Seagal's like, great line.

He might have written that himself.

Anyway, it's fun to see him with Gina Gershon, but it's even more fun to see him with Cinemax legend Shannon Worry.

Talk about it.

Let's go.

This is her first movie.

Shane and Worry was like, if Shane and Tweed was Hulk Hogan in the Skinemax era.

Who's she, Macho?

No, she's she's Ultimate Warrior.

She was like, they thought she could be the champ in Salad Arenas for five, six years.

This is her breakout scene.

This is her first match, basically.

She's the uh buxom strip joint waitress.

She's the one who Segal says, the one whose nipples you could dial a phone with.

The dialogue in this scene is really colorful, and it's it's it brings to mind all the workplace things we hear about Segal.

I'm sure it was a ripe spot to work.

Oh, I'm sure he loves Shannon Worry.

Anyway, I think she has a scene with her where she's giving information.

I got to say, really good acting by her.

I thought she did a good job.

I thought she was excellent.

She did a good job.

I was a little worried because, you know, when you move into the Skinny Max catalog in the mid-90s, maybe

not really as concerned with her acting chops.

But in this movie, she's really going for it.

She has an accent.

The small characters in this movie cook.

Like the eighth and nine hitters in this lineup hit.

We haven't even gotten a Corrado Soprano yet.

Like there are people cooking in every role in this movie.

And so

you got to hold your own.

Two more scenes.

Richie goes nuts in the bar, which is just Forsythe just cooking.

I know.

And then the final shootout

when segal just kills everybody he shoots somebody's leg off which i think he invented i don't remember seeing that in a movie before with a shotgun where the guy the his basically from his ankle down just comes off his body yeah and his reaction is very funny he's like oh oh oh oh oh

for like 20 seconds

i know it's awesome and then segal unfortunately fights william forsyth and doesn't let forsythe get even one punch in not one annihilates him but it's what's funny about that fight scene is is forsythe is richie Richie, every single time he gets thrown, he keeps landing next to a new weapon.

It's like a rolling pin, a knife, a corkscrew.

He gets hit over the head with a frying pan like it's like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

It's, it's very, it's almost like when Nordberg like steps in the bear trap and the wet paint and the wedding cake, he just keeps getting weapons like it's double dragon or something, but none of them work.

So we have the pool hall for the most re-watchable.

My most rewatchable scene in the history of cinema.

It's my favorite scene ever.

So yes.

All right.

We're taking one more break, and then I have an unbelievable brand new category for you.

Let's go.

All right, rest of the categories.

What is the most 1991 thing about this movie for you?

Mine's a fucking ringer.

This is Bobby Lupo is murdered on the sidewalk in the middle of a very busy city street.

And in the wide shot, and as well as the close-ups of this beautiful scene in Brooklyn, but a horrific murder, is a giant, giant Joe Montana LA Gear billboard for LA gear sneakers and it says unstoppable with joe montana throwing a football and it's like this is so perfect so 1991 it's just smiling over bobby's dead body it's great

i had uh young shannon worry

and i had the uh the winner for me is the early 90s rap songs all of a sudden the beastie boys come in and it's like wow

But then there's another one that I have it later in my notes, but it was, it just feels very rooted in 1991.

Absolutely.

And you hear the first two songs, and it's like, oh, anything's possible.

We might.

It's a little like how King of New York's same thing where

it's just like it was a really distinct time for music.

And the movie actually weirdly captures it for whatever reason.

Okay, new category.

Yeah, what do you got?

I mean, Seagal already has a category named after him, and you could argue he should have the Steven Seagal running award, should be a category as well.

The Stephen Seagal shitting on himself award for most unbelievable anecdote from the actual film film shoot.

I can't believe 380 plus movies that this wasn't a category.

Here's the thing, and there's been a ton of stuff about this, and I'm sure you've read and watched a bunch of it, including our guy, Ariel Hawani, did an interview with the stunt coordinator.

During filming, here's what we know.

During the filming of this movie, Seagal allegedly claims that because of his training, his martial arts like his whatever the highest level he had gotten to

that nobody could choke him unconscious.

And as the story goes, the stunt coordinator, whose name was Gene LaBelle,

he was a 10th degree red belt judo.

And somehow this became an argument about whether he could choke Seagal out or not.

And Seagal was like, all right, let's do it.

He does it.

He chokes him out.

Not only is it unconscious, but he pees and shits on himself.

Yeah.

And Seagal has denied since then

the incident ever took place.

He has a witness.

LaBelle has been like pretty

not confirming it, but not denying it either.

And then

he said in 2012, sometimes Steven has a tendency to cheese off the wrong people and you can get hurt doing that.

And then this was Ariel's interview with him, actually.

He said, well, you're going to confirm this story.

And LaBelle said, well, if 30 people are watching, let them talk about it.

And then another stepman who was there said a confrontation did happen, and that

Segal was trying to get out of the chokehold, swung his forearm into the crouch, and then LaBelle used a foot sweep to sweep him off the floor.

We don't have a direct confirmation that he shit on himself, but honestly, I want to live in a world where he did.

Yeah.

Yeah, I choose to believe.

Which to you is more believable?

That he got Steven Seagal got choked out and shit on himself or the Richard Gere gerbil thing?

This by easily by far.

Yeah, Richard Gere was doing anything he wanted, I'm sure, with any woman he wanted.

This, like, I never believed that.

I thought the Richard Gere thing seemed pretty brazenly,

you know, you could just make something up and it spreads.

We had a bunch of those from the 70s and early 80s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This, something clearly happened.

And whether he shit on himself or not, nobody has come forward and said,

I believe, I saw it.

I smelled the shit.

I cleaned his pants.

We haven't gone that far, but nobody has also denied that it happened.

I would assume the only way, because he wears black in the whole movie, it's not like he'd be wearing white pants.

The only way you could confirm that he, in fact, defecated in his pants, you just have to go by a smell test and he clearly did it.

I haven't been around someone who shit himself, I think, since college.

So I guess that would be, that would be it.

Let's bring producer Craig in one moment.

Craig in here.

Third party.

Craig, did you know this story?

And what do you want to believe hearing it for the first time?

He 100% shit himself.

I have not heard this story, but knowing everything I know about Seagal, I mean, you can clearly see why the guy can't lose in any single fight in the movie.

And he's just doing the same thing off-camera.

He can't lose off-camera either.

This is 100% true.

So, one of my rules when I hear stories like this

is if the story is so crazy,

then I default to how would somebody have made that up?

So,

if you're making this up, we start with you can't choke me out.

And the guy chokes Seagal out for for a little bit and whatever.

And maybe that's what happened.

And then all these other people hate Segal so much that the story then takes a life of its own and becomes, oh, then he shit on himself.

And then that takes hold.

The fact that nobody has denied the story

kind of makes me think it's true.

Do we know if you can shit yourself when you get choked out?

Is that a common symptom?

All right.

I just Googled.

Yeah.

I Googled while we're talking.

And AI says, While it's possible, it's not a guaranteed or common occurrence to lose bowel control when someone is choked unconscious.

So that's, we're still in the, we don't know if it's true enough.

Yeah, it's, it's, it says also known as being choked out and shitting yourself.

It is definitely possible.

And with the amount of hot dogs he was slamming.

Talk about it.

That's right.

I would think he had a huge lunch at craft services.

Well, have you ever, have you ever been in the room with anybody who passed out from like, I don't know, drugs, mushrooms, whatever?

Sometimes they will pee on themselves.

Yeah, absolutely.

But I feel like shitting yourself is a much harder excretion than just you get piss leakage.

Like you'd make a full bowel movement in your pants.

Well, because you would think like it would happen in UFC all the time.

That's true.

Right.

Because you're getting choked out in UFC.

You don't just shit in your trunks when it happens.

They usually usually tap before they're unconscious, though.

That's true.

True.

Craig, see if anybody's ever shit themselves in the UFC.

Well, in the NFL, when guys get knocked out, they don't shit themselves.

Yeah.

I'm not saying jokes about that, but I can't make them.

I'm going to Google if you shit yourself in UFC.

So, fado odds, Segal shit himself minus 125.

I think it might be the underdog, but I'm still taking it.

You think it's underdog?

Like, plus 130?

Yeah.

So, if we can find out the exact story, would you bet he did shit on himself or he didn't?

I really, I want to believe that he did.

Yeah.

What is it?

Life's too short to bet the under?

Like, I want to, I'm, I'd be very disappointed if he didn't at this point.

His intestines were out for justice.

what an awesome lie to make up, and that everybody just immediately believes.

You know, you know, you hate somebody's guts or that he was hated on a movie set when this becomes a story that comes out of the set.

What's the worst thing to spread about somebody?

Nothing.

Man, it's tough.

All right.

Thanks, Craig.

You're killing it today, Craig.

New category.

I can't wait for

more examples in future rewatchables.

What's age the best?

Juliana Margulies.

Yeah.

First.

First movie.

She looks young and great and very like young person on ER kind of vibe to her and

is one of the best actors in this movie.

Clearly talented.

She tears up immediately.

She's terrified of Richie.

Like, you know, she's going places and she was an ER a few years later and she's great.

Here's another would say she's the best, Kyle Brandt.

The director's thoughts on Steven Seagal.

John Fauci.

Oh, what's he got to say?

I really liked working with Bill Forsythe and Jerry Orback and all those guys in the car who played the killers, but I didn't didn't get along with Steven.

He was always about an hour late for work and caused a lot of delays.

That's his Steven Seagal scouting report.

But to say that he's late, that's mild.

Like that's, that's a win for Sagal.

You're late.

A lot of people are late.

This is the guy who has way worse stuff said about him.

I had a couple more.

What did you have for what Sage is the best?

It's just the cast in general.

We've talked about it.

It's just Margulies, Uncle June, Vinny, like just wonderful actors everywhere.

And they don't belong in a piece of shit action movie, allegedly, although it is, it's a great movie.

So the cast, and we've covered the rest.

I have a couple more.

I like when he says he's killing people like it's free.

I know.

Never heard that line before.

I enjoyed it.

It's not a good line.

I like that Gino has an awesome relationship with mob boss Don Vittorio.

Yep.

They go way back.

I know.

He can just go in there.

But it's like, hey, Gino.

Like, Gino is like apparently the most powerful person in Brooklyn.

Don Vittorio is just sitting around waiting to hang out for him.

And then

a WhatsApp the best.

You could also say it's a what sage the worst in the baseball catch scene, which is a tour de force.

He gets a call that his best friend has been murdered.

Yeah.

Could not be less upset.

Doesn't even try to act.

Like, doesn't do the what?

He's just like, okay, Bobby's dead.

Yeah.

Talk about we needed one more take for the scene.

This is like leader in the clubhouse.

That tells me that that was the one more take.

They probably gave it a few times.

And then Segal probably thought it was good.

and this is the best we're going to get.

And then he calls Vicki and tells her the same news, and her reaction is just as bad.

Like, all the, there's amazing actors in this, except for the people in the main in the lead and his wife.

They're not the best.

How many times do you think he says, anyone's seen Richie or some sort of variation of that sentence during the movie?

I'd say like 10.

Eight.

Eight.

Yeah.

More would say it's the best.

Any movie where a police sergeant says in an 80s or 90s movie, I'm getting too old for this shit.

Love it.

Because Jerry Orbach rips it off.

It's almost like they were playing the hits.

And then I have Jerry Orbach's peak from

87, 89 as a What's Age the Best.

He's in Dirty Dancing.

Yep.

A phenomenon of a movie.

He's in Crimes and Misdemeanors, a Woody Allen movie that's really good.

He's in Someone to Watch Over Me, which we just did on rewatchables.

And he's in Last Exit to Brooklyn.

Yeah.

Another respected drama.

So he's like a really respected,

way up there, working with good directors, Ridley Scott, Dirty Dancing, working with Woody Allen.

And during this time, it all leads to 1991 where he does Out for Justice and Toy Soldiers.

Fuck yes.

Two rewatchables.

He uses his power,

his cachet

to make the movies that we care about.

God bless Jerry Orbach.

It's he does the one for them and then he does the one for himself.

I find myself watching it the other night and I'm like, God, why is the fuck is Orback in this?

But then you look and it's like, it just clicks.

Right after this, he gets Law and Order.

Right after this, he's in Beauty and the Beast, which is a massive hit.

Yeah.

And he's old because he had years of theater.

He's not slumming it.

He just hasn't blown up that big yet.

Big Kahoona Burger were best use of food and drink.

The hot dog.

Come on.

I was going to go with the six pack of seltzer he buys from the kid in the cooler.

Pretty good too, but it has to be the hot dog.

You had great check Gordo.

You nailed it.

Through the windshield.

Kid Cuddy Pursuit of Happiness where Best Needle dropped.

Beastie Boys, No Sleep for Brooklyn, right after Gino Rescues the Puppy.

Yeah, it's good.

Or we got Shake the Firm from Cool JT.

Shake the Firm.

That one's not very good.

It's the movie.

Brooklyn, and he's not sleeping until he kills Richie's.

So it's perfect.

License to Ill had been out four years at that point, and it's still just, it's an awesome.

That's a great needle drop.

Was there a better title for this movie?

John Flynn said that the movie was originally called The Price of Our Blood.

Nah, not that.

And that was the title that Stephen and I wanted.

And Warner Brothers said no.

It had to be a three-word title like the other Steven Seagal films.

And that's how we ended up with it.

The rule with Seagal is you have to be able to say in the trailer, Steven Seagal is

for death, for justice, on deadly ground, all that.

So that doesn't work with the price of blood.

Your choice for a flex category, Kyle Brandt.

Okay, I'm going to go with the Vinny Chase Award for Are We Sure These Guys Are Really Good Air Job?

Worst mobsters of all time.

Pathetic loser, weak mobsters.

Not only do they can't find Richie in their own neighborhood, their only strategy is to go keep beating up his brother.

Why do they take so much shit from Gino?

The boss says to him, Gino, we love you, but let us handle this.

And he's like, nope.

Then the boss just laughs.

The capo says, you know, we got to do this our way.

And he's like, I don't care.

I'm going to kill him.

You're never going to change, are you, Gino?

And then at the end, he sits down with the mob boss and is like, look, I don't like you.

I hope you fall off a bridge.

They're supposed to kill him at the fucking table right there.

These mobsters are such wusses and they're completely inept as well.

Richie's running amok, ruining Brooklyn.

They do nothing.

They can't even control their own sidewalks.

So like, they're not even good at being mobsters.

They're all well cast, but they're terrible mobsters.

So if you're like an actual Brooklyn mobster, you probably hate this movie.

I would think it would be so insane.

I would have killed Gino.

I would have killed Richie.

You know these things happen.

It's a great one.

Totally agree.

The Butch's Girlfriend award for weak link of the film.

So go on.

I can't wait for this.

What do you got?

There's a bunch of obvious ones.

There's the one that I feel.

I don't know if I'm right.

And then you might have a different opinion.

Everything about Gino's puppy adoption as

a dog lover, not a psycho dog lover.

I'm not one of those who, you know, I'm not a 10 out of 10, but I do think there comes a certain response.

Like my wife found our dog Jesse, who's now 11 on the streets.

And, you know, it's a rough first,

rough, rough first couple weeks there for the dog that's been abandoned on the streets.

This movie doesn't acknowledge any of this.

And as I mentioned earlier, in the first 20 minutes of the adoption, he's in a car chase with the thing bouncing.

He goes to buy food.

At one point in his homie Italian store, he's like, I'm not buying anything from Jersey.

Just immediately gets the puppy, like the worst dog food possible.

Who's watching the puppy?

He's a single dad.

Who's home?

Is there a crate?

How many times are you?

Was he putting the puppy?

Why are they pissing shit in the car?

Like six times?

There must be piss and shit all over that car.

Right, is the puppy sick?

The puppy needs shots.

Has the puppy ever had shots?

How old is the puppy?

Is it a female puppy?

Does the dog need to be

like

Gino Torino, Gino Folino has no answers for any of these questions.

He's like, hey, I got a dog.

Yeah, you're protective of the dog.

I can tell.

I get it.

You should be.

Do you mean dog parent or not, Gino?

It's an interesting device in the movie, and I think it's put in there to make Segal likable because everybody loves dogs.

Everybody loves puppies.

And when he's not killing people, oh, look, Seagal is soft, and he's got a softer side, and he loves this little dog, and it works.

I love little Caragio.

He's so cute.

But you're right.

It's kind of fucked up.

Yeah, just give us a crate.

What did you have for the week, Link?

Well, are we going to talk about recasting parts here?

Because I think later.

Okay, I'll say Segal's wife is the weakling for me.

The Stephen Seagal Hard to Kill Award.

I feel like we had to give this out for did this movie need a better intimacy coordinator.

Yeah.

Maybe for the Polaroids.

And I still don't really understand the Polaroids in general.

The Polaroids are hot, man.

I love those Polaroids.

But they're posing, but somebody else is taking the pictures.

And it's like, hey, it almost seems like naked gun.

I was young, I needed the work.

It's not somebody like in mid-thrust, or it's actual people with a third-party filming.

I don't know.

That's a great point because it now it would be a selfie, but they're Polaroids that are perfectly framed where they're clearly not holding it.

Maybe their Polaroid camera had a timer on it.

Back in the day, we used to use timers a lot.

Oh, that's a great, that's the answer.

And maybe that's what it is.

But Bobby and Roxanne, and by the way, but

Bobby seems like a fucking great time.

Like, what a party.

Bobby was a maniac.

Right.

Drugs and women and that women.

Like, Bobby would have been fun to party with if you're young.

Jesus.

The only other time I was thinking of better intimacy coordinator is he goes to see the

dead stripper, Roxanne.

Doesn't realize he's dead.

Goes in.

She's dead in the bed, but naked because they clearly were trying to lock down that R rating.

Yep.

I wanted an intimacy coordinator for the actress playing the Dead Stripper just because Segal, you never know.

He might be like, what's going on here?

And just like grabbing like a a feel somehow.

If anyone doesn't know the origin story, when we did the hard to kill rewatchables, there's a scene with Segal, Mason Storm, and his wife, in which, in my opinion, Segal seems to ad-lib

mouth-to-breast contact, which you just don't fucking know.

Minds are crossed.

Yeah, yeah, like that's that's not exploring the space.

That's not the hot dog in the bar.

They're going at it in a real uncomfortable way.

That

yeah, so that was alarming.

We were worried for the actress, so that's how that category happened.

So that's the award.

It's not a good one.

What's aged the worst?

We've mentioned so many of them.

Yeah.

Is there anything left on the any meat on the bone left?

Well, I mean, listen, obviously, Segal is aged the worst in every single one.

Yeah, we cover that.

It's almost like a disclaimer when we do Seagal podcasts.

Just Google the last 20 years of Seagal.

It's been tough.

At best, he's highly problematic.

At worst, he's reprehensible human garbage.

We've said that.

I'll go on a terribly different note.

Richie's Cruise fashion is so fucking 91.

Richie, the baddest guy in Brooklyn, is wearing a top-button silk shirt from Structure in the mall that never becomes untucked.

He's got his bro in the windsuit like a mall walking mom.

That's all stuff is just so early 90s.

It looks ridiculous for like this crew of psycho badasses.

We should have had that in the 1991 party.

Richie's Cruise outfit.

I blew that one.

I think that's fair.

Sorry.

The Ruff Lohan and Rubinik Partridge over acting word obviously has to go to Segal.

I don't know how anyone beats him.

Did you have anyone else?

There's only one way to refer to him, but like

no pussy since 1969 guy is at a thousand out of 10 in that wheelchair.

He is so worked up.

No, Richie, no!

He's so nervous the whole time.

He's clearly on drugs.

They're fucking with him.

That guy has 30 seconds of screen time and owns every second of it.

And I love that line that he says.

It always makes me laugh.

The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford.

Hottest take a word.

Do you have one?

I sure do.

My hottest take comes in the form of Bill, you and I wondering what life would have been like if Seagal was a great guy who people loved working with and his career continued to flourish.

And if that was the case,

I think Steven Seagal should have played Tony Soprano.

And it's all right there in front of you.

David Chase, obviously a fan of this movie.

Half the Soprano's call sheet is in this movie.

We have a de facto screen test where he does a beautiful scene with Uncle June right there at Corrado's house where tears are shed and emotions are shared.

I think he has the physicality.

I think he has the unsettling sexual presence of Tony.

And you might say, yeah, well, Seagal's not Italian.

Who gives a shit?

Neither is Marlon Brando.

Neither is James Kahn.

And you might say, yeah, but Tony's a big fat guy.

Well, that's coming for Segal.

Don't worry about that.

He'll get there.

I think he plays Tony.

And I think Johnny Sack, who runs the New York Mafia, is played by a great young actor named James Gandalfini.

Seagal as Tony Soprano is where his life should have gone.

So I had a similar, very good one, by the way.

I had a similar one

because,

so David Caruso.

finally settles in the CSI Miami much later in life and really leans into the unintentional comedy of David Caruso and kind of owns it.

It's great.

And I just wonder if CSI Brooklyn was sitting there for Steven Seagal in like 1999.

Oh, no way for Seagal.

All right.

For Seagal.

How's it look?

Well, so CSI comes out in the mid-90s, right?

Then they start doing the spin-off ones.

They do New York.

I can't remember how many they've done it.

Orleans, LA, all of them.

Like they're everywhere.

And part of the key is like you want the unintentional comedy piece.

And I just feel like if the CSI guy had seen out for justice and be like, hey, is it a crazy idea to do this in brooklyn with segal but i think segal's reputation was so bad i just don't think anyone's doing a tv show with him people wanted to get in and out and night in a 90-minute movie with him and that's it but he would have been so good at the stupid one-liners you know like if somebody gets like chopped up by a ceiling fan you'd be like i guess he met his biggest fan and they'd be like

I won't get food again.

Like Segal would be so good at that.

He's basically,

which Baldwin was in the end of Forgetting Sarah Marshall?

Daniel Baldwin, Billy Baldwin with Kristen Bell, yeah, or one of them, yeah, crime scene, scene of the crime, yeah, he would, that would have been the entire Segal Brooklyn thing.

Uh,

new category, best IND stat padding.

I thought of this because it's a movie that also co-stars Julian Amargulis, John Leguizamo, and Shannon Worry.

And if you just put that on an Amazon thing, it seems, but meanwhile, they're in for a combined like two scenes.

Um,

I will say with Shannon Wurry,

starts here from 92 to 94,

rips off animal instincts, body of influence, mirror images 2, and animal instincts 2.

There's two animal instincts.

Mirror Images 2, not her franchise, came in,

did that.

So those were her next four movies.

And then this is another IMD tidbit.

Seagal cast Julian and Margulies are claiming credit for it.

I don't like where this is going.

You're not going to believe this, but she didn't really enjoy working with them.

I don't like where this is going at all.

She later said in an interview, she regularly saw Segal working on projects for Warner Brothers when she was doing ER.

And he would say to her, Margolise, come over here and show me some respect.

And she says in the interview, he's not someone I keep in contact with.

Ah, Christ.

See, where's Noah Wiley to step in and defend?

Where's Eric LaSalle?

Like, somebody needs to stand up for Margolise.

That does not surprise me at all.

Noah Wiley should have taken a crack at it.

Or sticks.

I like the

sticks if stick was there.

The stat padding is a great call because you can put all those names on there.

It's like, it makes me think of like Frank Gore is like a top five all-time rusher or something, and they count his rushing yards with like the Bills and the Dolphins.

I hate that.

That's like what we're doing here.

That's that guy award.

Uncle Jr.'s in this.

Dominic Chianese.

So is he Dominic Chianese or is he Uncle Jr.?

No, he's Uncle Jr.

I think for just about everybody, he's Uncle Jr.

So I think 100% Uncle Junior.

And by the way, you mentioned this earlier.

His one scene,

he's like fucking De Niro and Raging Bull in the one scene.

He's great.

He's as good as like, and he, the other weird thing is he seems older in this movie than he does in the first season of the Sopranos, even though it's 10 years earlier.

I don't know how he pulled that up.

It's 90, mid-90s right now, still with us, still performing, like still doing his thing.

It's, it's, I love, I mean, Uncle June to me is the funniest character in the Sopranos.

And it's so weird to see him.

He's so serious here and he cries.

And it's like, what can I do to keep you from killing my son?

I want him to fall in a shower and say, sisters cunt and order Bobby around.

He's the best.

I love Jim.

So you said his name was Dominic Chianese?

Yeah, I think that's how you say it.

I'm butchering it.

I think he's 94 years old.

I'm looking this up.

Yeah.

Because I was thinking, I always get mad at this when IMDb, they have the thing where

when you click on their IMDb, it tells you the four things they're the most known for.

No, I want to see them all.

I don't want them.

And I want to see if

they have this for him because

Johnny Ola, Godfather 2,

basically leads to Fredo's death.

He's the catalyst.

Soprano is Uncle Jr.

And then I wonder if this is three.

So we're going to find out.

I have it.

His top four is Godfather Part 2, Sopranos, Dog Day Afternoon, and then Andrew.

And Justice for all.

I think that's fair.

That's a good thing.

Software justice doesn't crack it.

It's a really strong four.

Damn.

Yeah, that's good.

Okay.

Recasting Couch Director City.

We do not have any casting what-ifs for this movie, by the way.

Not a ton of

reporting/slash journalism about the making of this movie.

You'd be shocked to know.

I looked at it.

Recasting Couch Director City.

I agree with you on Gino's wife.

I had Annabelle Shura there.

I think at the perfect time in her career, I think we could have snuck her in.

What did you have?

I got something I think you might like.

I'm looking at a young Mia Sarah who Mia Sarah's real name, Bill, is Mia Sarah Pochiello, and she was born and raised in Brooklyn.

And I think it's just sitting right there.

I looked it up.

She's the exact same age as the actress who plays Vicki in this movie.

So in this, in five years, she could go from Ferris Bueller's girlfriend to fucking Gino Folino's wife.

I would have loved to see Sloane Peterson in that role.

Amazing.

Better than mine.

I also, I think Paul Sorvino should have been the head of the crime family because he could have done good fellas in 90, this movie 91, and then the guy in the firm in 93.

He just could have just kept playing heads of crime families.

Yes.

Triple Crown.

I forgot to do Deion Waiters.

I could give you the pimp in the beginning.

I can give you Shannon Wurry.

I can give you Gina Gershon.

I can give you sticks or I can give you tattoos.

Sticks.

I think it's sticks.

I think Sticks wins.

What was Sticks doing?

He's just in the back reading.

He's also in a jogging suit.

He's just there in case there's a stick fight.

And if it escalates the stick fight, Vinny calls him in and he wins the stick fight, but he loses this one.

Yeah, let's give it to Styx.

I love Sticks.

So do you think Styx, he had his sticks in like a case, like how you would carry like

Vincent in Color Money had his case for his pool cue?

You think Sticks, there's like, oh shit, stuff's going down.

He opens his case, gets his sticks.

Yeah, it's like Walter Subcheck with his bowling ball.

Like, it's like he goes to the sticks when it's time and he loses.

But sticks getting the Dan Waiters in a cast full of Tony and Emmy award-winning actors is why we do this.

Fucking Astyx.

Craig, you have a flex category.

Well, I already did my Tom Tom.

Oh, he did a baseball.

Yeah, but you.

Well, I was going to shout out.

I love the...

Just all the homages to great Italian movies that I think they thought they were honoring.

When in reality, it's just like the cheapest references of of all.

Like,

what's his name?

Dying in front of the fruit, like the godfather.

There's also a line where Segal says, like, basically, all my life, I always wanted to be a gangster coming right out of Goodfellas.

And then you had him too old for this shit.

But there's like all these references where I think he thinks this is the next version of those films.

So, this could be an interesting rewatchables category.

Most insulting homage to better movies.

Most unearthed.

Sheetchek.

Yeah, Omar Sheetchek.

Yeah.

It's like, yeah, it's like a little Goodfellas.

It's a little godfather too.

It's like, no, it's actually not.

Because he tells a story, but when he was a kid, he's like, and since that day, I always wanted to be a gangster.

And I'm like, this is just Ray Liotta from Goodfellas.

God, you're right.

And it's invented as Vicki.

Your name should have been Karen.

That's a great one.

The calendar with Goodfellas is really interesting.

Goodfellas comes out the same year, September 17th.

This is 1990.

Out for Justice was shooting for about a month and a half after Goodfellas came out.

So you got to imagine, like, holy shit, Scorsese's killing it.

Let's rip off.

The guy who's the mobster who's looking for Richie all the time, who keeps meeting up with Gino, has a total pesci thing going on.

The shirt collar, the blow-dried hair, like it's, it looks very close.

We got to rip through.

We're on pace to be longer than the movie, so I'm going to go faster.

Half fast century,

Bill.

Two-part part out for justice.

So he names the German Shepherd puppy Carragio.

That's Italian for courage or bravery.

Richie was inspired by

Gus Ferraci,

a banana family associate, subject of a manhunt,

eventually caught and killed by a mob hitman.

So that's where they got that.

The theatrical trailer shows two deleted scenes.

Richie shooting inside a clothing store from where he took a new shirt, which is somehow he shirt changes during this course of the day.

We don't know.

Structure.

And then another scene where the police captain tells Gino that his body count is coming up.

Oh, I like that scene.

We also see Richie and the guys breaking into the house where Gino's wife is trying to find her, leaving when the neighbors show up and some other stuff.

Leguazamo, who doesn't interact with Seagal in this movie, but did an executive decision, not a fan, complained after that Sagal is an asshole and he actually hurt him slamming him against the wall.

And And then Forsy said the same thing that he got hurt during the fight scene.

Yeah.

Seagal, much like a wrestler,

works rough.

It's like why people didn't like Goldberg.

And then

this is a story.

Again, half-fast on your research.

This is Shannon Worry telling this story.

She wore that outfit with the short-type black skirt with the yellow ribbon around her neck.

And she said when Seagal walked in, he asked, what the fuck is the ribbon for?

And she replied, I'm trying to draw your eyes upwards.

So when you say you're looking at my ribbon and you're really looking at my tits, then I don't have to beat the shit out of you.

And she said, from that moment on, they really got along because he liked her sense of humor.

That's another one where I don't, it's, it's too elaborate to be made up.

But Sagal's like, I like this.

I like the mouth on this one.

This is a good one.

Yeah, tough one.

Apex Mountain.

Segal, maybe.

It's either this or Under Siege.

This leads to Under Siege.

It's his next movie, and it's Under Siege is his biggest movie.

So

it's probably Under Siege.

He's going to be able to get away with that.

I think it's going to go with Tommy Lee.

He gets a sequel.

I think it's that.

Forsythe, I'm going to say yes.

Coming up, Dick Tracy.

It's looking great for him.

Definitely.

Definitely.

Gershon,

no.

I had Cocktails 88.

This is 90.

I forgot that wasn't the same year, but it's probably later.

She's in some good stuff in the 90s.

She's in Face Off.

She did that movie Bound with with Jennifer.

Yeah, Bound is probably a real conversation piece.

I love that movie.

Brooklyn as a TV movie location.

I'm going to say no.

Mob movies, no.

No.

Pool hall fight scenes

have my attention.

I'm just trying to think of a better one.

I have it as Apex Mountain for ad-libbed weapons, and that beats a lot of competition from Born.

The Joker in the Dark Knight uses a pencil.

I still will go with the cue ball and the towel, though.

well that's another one uh things wrapped in a towel or a blanket or some some sort of weapon i think this this might be it i thought this is sean penn and bad boys with the with the sodas and the that's still in the pillowcases pillowcase is another good weapon yeah it is

um

that's really all i have i mean i could keep going in apex map but we don't need to that's okay cruise or hanks

we i i can't have cruise doing an italian accent.

I actually am going to go Hanks on this.

And I know it's hard, but I think in this category, the movie that gets overlooked a lot is Road to Perdition, where Hanks kicks ass and has machine guns and kills people in cold blood.

It's a tough role for either of them, but I'll take Hanks over Cruz.

I couldn't hear Cruz doing that accent.

I have Cruz, so Craig's the tiebreaker.

Craig, come in the Zoom.

As Gino.

Stop depriving us.

Oh, man.

I kind of want to abstain.

This is one of the hardest of all.

You can't.

It's a tough room.

You can't abstain.

This is a true, like, either scenario is terrible yes hanks or cruise as gino

i think cruise is much funnier cruise has an unintentional comedy yeah hanks is perhaps a little i was leaning hanks but hanks would be too aware to do this movie cruise might be that perfect blend of unaware to pull we're still in the cocktail kind of far away far and away era of cruise where he wasn't self-aware with with the stuff he was picking and I think Cruz, I think he tries to do an Italian accent.

you guys can sit there and hear cruise say there ain't nobody upstairs like i don't know he did an irish accent in a movie for two hours in the same year

it was rough but he does wear beret and taps so that there is that for that if if if craig says says cruz i'll respect it yeah cruise wins i hate both sides yeah thanks craig scorsese or spielberg i'm gonna say scorsese since they're ripping the movie off yeah i just i wish i i wish in in the color of money there was a part where, where Paul Newman put a cue ball in one of the towels and just started beating the shit out of everybody.

That was missing from that movie.

Yeah.

But no, you just replace No Sleep Till Brooklyn with Paint It Black, and it's a Scorsese movie.

We did a lot of picking knits already.

I only have two more.

Gino goes and checks out Bobby's desk and finds cocaine, money, and sex Polaroids.

Hell yeah.

This is the biggest cop murder in New York City of the year.

Nobody looks at his desk for three days.

And he opens it with a switchblade.

Like they always do that dumb shit.

There's just a big bag of cocaine.

Oh, he must be dirty here's a bag of cocaine um the polaroids themselves i just don't understand why they were shot that way yep timer and then bobby's widow just keeps a dirty sex polaroid of her dead husband in her purse

she's carrying that around in the grocery store like they didn't want to just put that in a book in the library nothing I'm trying to protect him.

In your purse, the easiest thing to steal from you?

That's where you're keeping the Polaroid?

Yeah, not good.

What do you have?

Any nitpicks?

I'll do one quick one.

And back to the baseball scene.

You thought we've covered everything.

He kicks his son.

He's got the glove.

There in Stevens Negal's house is a samurai sword at the eye level of the child.

He has a 10-year-old child.

There's a fucking sword in the hallway.

Like when that kid's friends come over, they're going to kill each other with that thing.

You cannot have a sword.

If you do, it better be way up on top of a cabinet.

It's about three feet in the main hallway of the house.

Get out of here.

Terrible dog father.

Terrible father.

Yep.

Sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black casters are untouchable.

Untouchable, obviously.

Great.

Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Treyo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson, Nell, Byron Mayo, Barney Cousins, Tony Romo, Harling Mays, Chris Collins, where Daniel Plainview, Long Legs, or Wilford Brimley in the firm?

Any thoughts?

We started with an Arthur Miller quote.

Arthur Miller's daughter is married to Daniel Day-Lewis.

That is his son-in-law.

I'd like to see Plainview walk into the bar and say, Ladies and gentlemen, if I say I'm looking for Richie, you'll agree.

I've traveled over half of Brooklyn to be here tonight.

This is my son, Tony.

We'll keep coming back here until one of you builds a pipeline or remembers seeing Richie.

I want to see him with the cue ball and the towel and all that.

Plainview would fuck those people up.

That was great.

I was really captivated by that for a second.

We need it.

I just think Doris Burke probably has to be in this.

Who does she see?

This young man, Richie, has just been running amok in Brooklyn.

It's like France and Germany in World War II.

I don't know.

It just feels like we need Doris to set the scene with Richie.

There's a lot of scene setting these days.

We see you, Vicki.

We see you at home with Tony.

I get it.

We see you, Sticks, and we see you, tattoos.

Sticks.

This young man richie has lost his mind i'm so excited to who won the movie because i know it's going to be sticks at this point sticks is sweeping the oscars just one oscar who gets it uh forsythe yeah forsythe brevest supporting he would have had to beat jack palance and city slickers and two nominees from bugsy i think we could at least give him a nomination i think it's fair probably unanswerable questions

Has anyone seen Richie?

They did answer it.

But why did Richie kill Bobby?

Even when you mentioned it, well, it's because they have sleeping with the same girl, I think.

You don't even, none of us know.

Not really.

He's on drugs.

There was a sex thing.

I think he's always hated Bobby since childhood, but it's because he's Richie.

What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want?

This is tough.

From this movie,

I'm going with the baseball glove that Seagal uses

that he puts on his hand.

A game, a movie game, movie set Game worn Segal baseball glove because it's the only time his hand has ever gone into one that he that he holds his hand like coatto from total recall like backwards

All right, listen, this this is tougher than Cruiser Hanks.

I either want the beret or I want the towel with the cue ball.

Um, oh, I think the beret is a good one.

That's probably the answer.

I like the bar towel so much.

I'll be like, this is the actual cue ball that he hits tattoos in the face with.

So maybe it's the cue ball,

but I need the towel as well.

Yeah.

Cue ball with the towel.

Okay.

I like it.

It's part and parcel.

Coach Finstock award, best life lesson.

What do you got?

Just tell Gino if you saw Richie.

Save us all a lot of time.

If you've seen Richie, will you tell Gino, please?

Just tell him.

He's asking.

He's been asking around.

Just tell him.

Does he know why Richie did Bobby Lupo?

Tell him that too.

He's

helping him.

Give me the info.

He's going to find out.

He's Gino.

What do you have for best double feature choice?

The one that came before this, Mark for Death and Gino or Gino fighting, Hatcher fighting Screwface.

The slogan is, he's a good cop in a bad mood, which took three seconds to think of.

I like Mark for Death.

What do you got?

I think hard to kill.

Yeah,

it's excellent.

Because

you can watch him with a normal accent.

And him attracting me with Kitana.

Hey!

Who won the movie?

It's hard not to give it to

our guy, Seagal.

It led to Under Siege, and he was another number one movie, and you can't take your eyes off him.

I think it's fun to say this at the end.

We make fun of him, but in like three or four movies, I really like watching him, and I'll watch those movies until the day that I die.

And so I thank him for that, for all his faults.

It's Segal, and now we're going to bring in producer Craig.

We have a feeling that he enjoys not only this movie, but this entire genre that we've introduced to him and brought into his life.

Craig, your thoughts?

I really have fallen in love with these movies.

It's some of Seagal's best work, I have to say.

And it's usually, it's because it's trying the hardest to make him seem cool, which I think directly correlates with how enjoyable the movie is.

He's really the only movie star that you could more easily convince somebody who's never heard of him that he is an adult film star acting in a porn parody of a real movie than actually acting in a legit Hollywood film.

Yeah.

He's like, it's like a Truman show experiment with Seagal.

Like this whole thing of like, can we convince a random guy that he's a good actor and an action star while just making like the worst movies possible?

It's, I love it.

I also think the stick fighting is legitimately good.

It is.

We make, we joke about sticks.

I thought that back and forth was legit, well-done action.

The people are going to freak out.

The guy who plays sticks has a deep, deep martial arts background and is considered a legend in those circles.

Like that's not just some actor.

You can tell.

Both of them.

That's a real guy.

Yeah, they were really going at it.

That was impressive.

I know.

So that's another case for cruise versus hanks for cruise because i think cruise would have spent three four five months trying to figure out the stick fight yeah i don't think hanks puts in that kind of time um i also love that you not many movies like immediately is the second the movie ends the credits are just back to cool shots of stevie segal

Which like that would be like if the second Mission Impossible ended.

It's just like back to Tom like earlier scenes from the movie of just Tom Cruise running and punching people, which is just trying to jam as much Seagal into the movie as possible.

So they had to fit him into the credits.

I wish, Craig, there was a post-credit scene of him just hitting jacks with his son at some local baseball field.

That's what I want to see more than anything.

Batter's cage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, we really fucked up not bringing that post-credit scene up because it immediately comes in.

And the first thing we see is him running.

And of course, every time he runs, it's the worst thing that he does.

It's him with the beret at the beginning with the pimp.

They cut right back to that in the credits.

Running.

One on empty.

So I wonder if the director hated him so much

that he put that in and again segal not self-aware is like yeah that's cool i like that i like when i'm running but meanwhile he's running like

it's almost like he doesn't have any vertebrae like he's he's like a bobblehead i don't know what he does with his hands when he runs it's hilarious can i give a like a like a a soft hottest take yeah I think we need to bring back kind of movie dictators.

I think we need to bring back once one person just had kind of complete control.

because I think it goes back to what you were saying, Bill, about we've lost the unintentional comedy.

We had that because Segal was just like running the show and he thought he was awesome and what he said goes.

And now everything is so market tested now where when movies are bad, they're watered down bad.

There's nothing random about them.

You know, it's like I just watched that movie, The Fountain of Youth, with John Krasinski.

It's terrible on Apple.

But there's nothing, there's no unintentional comedy.

It's just a bad movie that has been glossed over on the edges.

We need to bring back movie dictators who are just like, it is only me and my brain decides what goes in this film because then you get gems like this.

Well, so what Craig just said.

So if we were all running Apple, we get Jason Momoa and we're like, we want you to be a cop.

It's a blank slate.

We're going to give you no notes and we're not going to test the movie after it's done.

Yeah.

That's what I want.

You do your thing.

We trust you.

We think you're a thinker and an actor.

And then it just goes completely wrong and we let it happen.

Yeah, we'll give you 30, 40 million dollars and just do whatever you want.

And then, you know, our culture has changed so much.

Like as a society, I can't believe that just 30 years ago, the opening scene with him and the beret and the freeze fame on his face, like that's just unbelievable that that happened, it worked, and it made a lot of money.

And we wouldn't even get close to allowing something like that to happen.

The hot dog wouldn't be in the movie now.

It's just stupid because some focus group would have said it doesn't work.

You're right, Craig.

The closest we have now is like ESPN hiring Schrager and then having people on his split screen not selling his jokes.

That's the closest we have now to an intentional comedy.

Well, you don't know how right you are.

There's that scene in the movie where Richie says, You got the balls for it?

The guy goes, Yeah.

Well, now you got the bread.

That's how Peter was hired away from Good Morning Football.

Someone from ESPN walked in and said, Do you want to go and get up with Greenie?

He's like, Yeah, I got the balls for it.

Well, now you got the bread, Schrager.

And I haven't talked to him since.

That's how

we have guys in a split screen just scowling at your takes.

Yeah,

stone-faced.

Also, like, can I just say, me having to pay $3.99 for this movie is a fucking joke.

That's ridiculous.

This movie should be free on a streaming service.

Not free, but if I have a subscription to most streaming services, you got to pay more.

I have to pay for this movie.

The movie went the other way.

I rented it for $3.99.

Yeah.

And after I rented it, I regretted not buying it.

And I think the $3.99 should have gone to the purchase price on Amazon.

So it's like, if you want to buy this movie for...

six more dollars, you can take it down completely because I think I would have done it, but I didn't want to spend more than the price.

If we're trying to to spread the gospel of Segal movies, it can't be $3.99.

It's got to be on 2B.

Here's my question:

you see those bundles like they have on Fandango and some of these, Amazon will have them where it's like five, you know, Apatal movies.

And you can buy five streaming Apatow movies for like $19.99.

You get like Super Bad and Four Year Virgin.

Why isn't the Seagal five pack out yet?

Or seven pack or

every Segal movie for seven bucks.

Yeah, for

$14.99.

I just get the complete cigar catalog.

You don't, you know, all you need, like, like, I think five movies, maybe four, and you're set.

You get the whole thing.

You don't need all that.

I mean, he's made 100 directed DVD.

You don't need that shit.

It's a big collection.

I don't want anything past 95.

There's a great app called Just Watch, and you can type in anything to your TV show, and it tells you where you can watch it for on streaming, where you can rent it, where you can buy it.

And I'm always, you know, I always punch it in before ever we watch it.

I was like, you know, I'm assuming I can watch Out for Justice for free somewhere, of course, $3.99 on it.

$3.99, baby.

i go on just watch every week to see if this is the week that kiss of death and eddie and the cruisers are back on cable and the answer is always no it's crazy it's like a sure thing no when they come back people freak out and they put it up there you look you check for it yeah all right kyle brand what are you up to all summer Right now, I'm looking at my Google results that say, does the UFC stop a fight if a fighter shits his pants?

That's what I'm looking at.

I'm still doing good morning football at NFL Network.

I'm there.

He's come check us out.

I'm coaching Little League Baseball.

I'm coaching La Crosse.

Just doing my thing up here, Bill, in the East Coast suburbs.

You got your mitt.

You got your ball.

I got a bowl.

I'm going to kick my son in the head.

Well, you're coming.

I know we have a couple more on the list, so we'll see you a couple more times this summer.

But it was great to see you.

Thanks to producer Greg Horbeck as well.

And we'll be back on the Rewatchables

next week.

Thank you.