439 - Stay At Home Summer & Being A Good Guest

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. How are you? I have a Netflix special

coming out on Tuesday, April 15th. What I'd like you to do right now, my little demon hose, is go on the Netflix and hit the reminder to be reminded that this special comes.
I don't care if your child is in anaphylactic shock. Hit it with the epi.
Put the reminder on Netflix to be reminded to watch when this special goes live. It is Tuesday the 15th, right? Yeah.
Tuesday, April 15th. I'm in the midst of a press tour.
Is it Megyn Kelly's home today? Lovely. Lovely property.
And I'm all over the place going down to see Joe Rogan at Austin and Tom and Christina and others. So that would help out a lot if you put the reminder on Netflix.
What does it look? Can you go to Netflix and show them how to do it? Maybe people are confused.

You're going to love it.

It's very fun.

We have a fun promo that's coming out that no one will be angry at at all.

I'll just say that.

This helicopter crash in the Hudson's

driving me nuts

because, number one, I'm not a devotee of the helicopter.

But I'll tell you this, it is convenient as hell every now and then to hop in a helicopter

from Manhattan and go to the Hamptons.

But you don't want to end up dead.

So it's becoming a problem. I'm just saying it's flight can't be for all people anymore.
Everyone can't be in the air. People that are in the air need

It's got to be people that deserve to be in the air

Not everyone is not for everyone

Helicopter tours need to go away

What do you need to see?

New York is the most famous man-made vista in the world

It is the most famous skyline on earth

Thank you. away.
What do you need to see? New York is the most famous man-made vista in the world. It is the most famous skyline on earth.
Go to a rooftop bar and get a view. Go to an observation deck.
Don't get in a helicopter with your family. You taking a chance Especially the fucking helicopter tours You don't know who the fuck is in there Or what they're doing I'm telling you Enough with these summer vacations I'm predicting this summer Because of the market instability that people are going to actually find ways to have vacations at their house.
It's called a staycation where you don't leave your home and your kids go, are we going anywhere? And you go, shut up. And you go, well, actually John and his family going somewhere go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got cleaned out.
We're fucked. John's family owns property.
We're fucked here. We got nothing.
Oh, they're going to the lake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good, good. I hope he drowns.
I hope John drowns in the lake with his family. His father's a drunk.
He's always nice to me. Shut up.

I have nothing.

This family has nothing.

That's the conversations that will be happening this summer.

When the kids go, are we going anywhere?

The answer is no, we're not.

We're not going anywhere.

Kids are spoiled pieces of shit.

They're making you feel bad about the economy.

They're the problem. Oh, consumer confidence is plunging.

Because kids want more shit than they fucking need, by the way. Oh, there's going to be less Christmas presents.
Good, good. There should be none.
You should get one fucking present. This abundance that everybody talks about, nobody's happy, by the way.
So enough with this crap. Get off, get out of the helicopter.
It is a convenient way for me to go. And we fly mostly when the water is warm.
That doesn't mean much if it goes down, you know, it kind of spirals. I don't even want to show this video.
This is terrible. This is a family that crashed and just show it just to scare people because I think people got to stay out of these things.
Show it. In a matter of seconds, a helicopter fell from the sky.
God, the news people don't help, do they? In a matter of seconds, what started out as a family trip quickly ended in a watery grave. In a matter of seconds, a once-smiling family plunged to their death in Lower Manhattan.
The cold waters of the early spring Hudson were the last thing that family felt. It's like, do we need that? What is this guy? Is this guy's reaction now? It sounded like an engine just dying.
Are you done? It was like, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. And I just turned, I looked, and I saw the helicopter crash and splash into the water.
Oh, good. Good, good.
Well, I'm glad we got his tank, this guy. I saw it crash and smash into the water.
I heard the helicopter went down into the water. Oh, good.
Well, I'm happy. I'm happy that we've cleared that up.
We were all confused. What really happened? What exactly happened? Everyone's so, it's like, everybody's like, what exactly happened? I saw this helicopter and then it fell out of the sky and into the water.
What was the first woman? Did the first woman, I just want one of them to go like, I don't know if it was even in the air. I can't believe anything anymore.
It's like screaming. We were crying.
Claiming Sin River. Everybody was like screaming.
We were crying. Claiming six lives, including a family on a sightseeing trip.

You got to stay out of the helicopter.

You got to stay out.

You got to stay out.

For the sake of your family,

you got to prepare your children now for actually it's lean times.

Lean times.

Markets up, the market's down.

There's a lot of volatility.

Larry thinks we're going to have a recession.

Jamie Dimon, all these guys, the real demons are out here talking about the recession. CEOs of all these big banks and private equity companies are going, we're going to have a recession.
And you're going to have to tell your children and prepare them for this is not going to be the epic summer. It's not going to be epic.
Too many people expect everything to all these kids going to Coachella. It's epic.
It's going to be what's the times of our lives, you know? Well, we're going to have to, we're going to have to calm that down. We're not going to have the times of our lives this summer.
It's going to be a try not to die. That's what you tell your your children try not to die this summer because hopefully next summer or the summer after we can go back to doing something but we're gonna have a little it's a rough patch here it's a rough patch why don't you acquaint yourself with our yard how about that go to the local public pool it's a public pool summer that's what it is This is local public pool.
It's a public pool summer. That's what it is.
This is a public pool summer. Go get choked in the water by a gang member this summer.
Why don't you get choked in the water by a Latin king? Because there's no lake house this summer. It's a tough summer.
This is a popsicle summer. We're in the 90s right now, pre-Clinton.
We're at the end. It's Gulf War.
There's not a lot. This is a rediscover movies summer.
This is a Netflix and chill summer. It's a public pool summer.
It's a popsicle summer. It's a borrow mom's car summer.
It's smoke a joint on the beach summer. It is not helicopter tour summer.
It's not epic concert summer. It's not backpacking through Europe summer.
This is a very pared down, simple suburban summer. This is smoke glass with your friends summer.

Smoke meth with your friends. This is not like you're going to be making memories to last a lifetime summer.
No. This is, I'm looking at the, I'm reading all these articles about what's going on in the stock market.
Prepare your children for an old school summer. Some drugs, couple of hand jobs under the boardwalk and move it on.
We're back in school. It's not going to be the greatest night of your life.
I'm telling you, it's not going to be the greatest two months of your life. It's not happening.
It's not happening. It's going to be just hot, sticky, and cheap.
It's going to be a cheap summer. Everyone's mad at RFK because he's pledging to find the cause of autism by September.
And that's pretty cool. Number one, life's about setting goals.
And he's literally going, I'm going to find it out by September. By the end of the, this will be the summer that RFK found out what caused autism.
That'll be this. This will be the summer that we all remember.
RFK is going to work really hard. He's going to hunker down and find out why people are autistic and tell us all in September.

And I'm kind of excited. What if it's something we have no idea what it could be.
We don't know. Could be canned tuna.
We don't know. Everything's on the table.
That's what you got to like about RFK. Everything's on the table.
I'm thinking he might go in the direction of vaccines, but we We't know. We don't know.
Could be household chemicals, toxins in wood furniture, the cream for the Dunkaroo. No one knows what exactly is making people autistic.
He has pledged, while everyone else is, I don't know what they're doing in the summer. This guy is pledged to find the cause of autism.
Let's listen to this guy. I'm telling you right now, pretty fucking cool, pretty ambitious.
RFK. The autism rates have gone from now most recent numbers, we think are going to be about one in 31 and one in twice so they're going up again from one in ten thousand when i was a kid and we are going at your direction we are going to know by september we've launched a massive uh testing and research effort that's going to involve It's like a scavenger to involve hundreds of scientists from around the world.
By September, we will know what has caused the autism. We'll be able to eliminate those exposures.
This is like going to the moon. This is like going to the moon.
You're going to have a pretty good idea, huh? We will know by September.

There will be no bigger news conference than that. So that's it.
If you can come up with that answer

where you stop taking something, you stop eating something, or maybe it's a shot,

but something's causing it. Well, it's pretty cool that RFK has come out and said, hey, we're going to look into this for the months of May, June, July, August.
And then in September, we're coming out and we're going to tell you why you're autistic. And it's like a fun summer scavenger hunt.
We're going to look at vaccines, Kennedy said, but we're going to look at everything. Everything is on the table.
See, I didn't even know he said that, but I knew it. Our food system, our water, our air, different ways of parenting, all the kind of changes that may have triggered this epithet.
He might come back and go, you're not beating your kids. He might say, we have figured out what it is,

and it's the fact that you are not open-faced smacking your children.

He might say, the lack of beatings has resulted,

you have to beat the autism out of the kid.

He might say it.

We don't know.

And he might be right.

He might say, you have to beat the autism out of the kid. He might say it.
We don't know. And he might be right.
He might say you have to beat the autism out of your child. I mean, belts, chase them around the house.
Bloody. You know, what's that thing Joe Jackson used to say to Michael? Go get me a switch.
Go get a branch from the tree and beat your child with it. RFK might come out and say it's because kids aren't getting beaten by their parents anymore.

So we don't know.

We don't know.

He might say,

after the research,

we've concluded that children

who are not beaten with a belt

multiple times a week

are much more likely to be autistic. You might have to beat them.
You might have to beat it out of the kids. Sorry.
The answers are not always what you'd want. They're not what you'd want.
It's Brussels sprouts, not smoothies that make you thin. Sure, we'd love it if it was smoothies.

Oh, milkshakes all day?

And then I get better.

I get better with a milkshake?

Woo!

But it's not.

It's actually lean meats and vegetables.

Okay?

And some healthy fats.

So this might not just be, oh, hey, don't give him a cupcake.

It might be you need to beat the living shit out of your child again.

Fear.

Let's go. This might not just be, oh, hey, don't give him a cupcake.
It might be you need to beat the living shit out of your child again.

Fear.

Like when the door of your car closes, your child is quivering.

And it might not even be beating them for a reason.

It might be randomly attacking them in the house.

I'm not saying it will be.

I'm just saying we don't know which way it's going to go. We don't know what he's going to wreck, what his recommendations are.
These recommendations could be that you, you know, maybe he'll make kids sleep with tape on their mouths. Remember, that's a new thing that people are doing.
They're sleeping with tape on their mouth. There's something with the nose or something.
I don't know. He might require that.
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You know, we don't know. But what we do know is we don't want to go to war with Iran.
Now, there's a lot of people in the Trump administration who they always sneak in these neoconservatives, by the way, or neoliberals, it doesn't matter. What we mean by that is people that love going to war all the time.
There's never a war they don't like. They like Ukraine.
They like Israel-Gaza. They like Syria.
They liked Iraq. They liked Afghanistan.
They liked Libya. And they'll like Yemen.
There's nothing they don't like. There's not one war a lot of these people don't like.
I just want one. I just want one of them to go, well, that one I don't think is good.
Every war on the table with these people is great. Everybody we're supporting is of unimpeachable integrity and the greatest people ever.
Everybody that we're opposing is an irrational monster who cannot be negotiated with. We are just trying to help a people live in a more democratic way against a Hitlerian figure who's impervious to reason.
This is every conflict that i have ever witnessed my entire life since i became conscious all of these people i ran they've been talking about i ran since 2001 i ran and in long island you know during the iraq war when everyone including me thought that was a great idea of course my defense is that I was 17 and on cocaine. You know, you would bump into people and dunking donuts, and they would go, yeah, the real problem's Iran.
They're going to go into Iran after Iraq. That's where they're going to go, to Iran.
Because these people, these gremlins, these creatures that walk the earth have been filled with the idea that Iran is going to take their Levitt house in Levittown, Long Island. And that in order to stop that, we need a major war.
This is what we've sold all these people, by the way. We've sold them this idea that like all of the threats that you're going to encounter in your life are from outside of the country.
And it's caves. There are these people in caves plotting to destroy.
But they're also really super sophisticated and brilliant and in caves, but really smart. And they're religious fundamentalists, but also futuristic tech geniuses.
And they're able to do all kinds of things like attack our country. And on the day when NORAD had scrambled all the planes, they picked the exact right boat.
It's wild what these people are able to do from a cave. It's really amazing.
It is unreal what they're able to pull off from a cave. I mean, because they're all in caves, and they're all plotting to take the things from you.
They're going to come in here somehow. Now, you would think, wouldn't it be easy to stop them from coming in here if we just didn't let a lot of people come in, if we tightened up security as to who could come in and who could go, whoa, that's silly.
We can't do that. It's a global world.
So then you go, okay, so then what do we have to do to make sure that no one attacks us? Well, we have to go around the world, overturning their governments and convincing them all to love us. Oh, that seems so hard.
It seems so much easier to just like make it harder to get into our country. Wow.
You'd think that, but actually the best course of action is to just go get these people to really love us and appreciate us. And how do we do that? Attack them.
We attack them. What? We bomb their homes and families.
And then the ones that are left alive realize how benevolent and good we are because we let corporations go in there and do things. Oh, okay.
Has this ever worked?

No.

Right. Okay.
But we got to keep doing it. Yes, why? For our safety.
Yeah, seems odd. So that's the course of action that these people believe.
They believe it because the financial incentives to believe it are too strong. There's absolutely a direct correlation between our defense budget, which Trump is now proposing a trillion dollars or something absurd.
Because they're all getting ready for China. They're getting ready for the main event.
Remember wrestling? And the main event! They're getting ready for China, but we got to run around the Middle East as well. And we have to make sure that Iran doesn't come and get us.
So all of these people are, yeah, it's record-breaking $1 trillion defense budget. He campaigned as being the ultimate peace president, wars guy and he's doing a trillion dollar defense budget so here's what people will have to start parsing out in their own mind at a certain point here what version of Donald Trump is the version that you want? And what's the version that you're getting? And how much daylight is there between those two versions? I think it would be a very big mistake to go to war with Iran.
A lot of people do. I think it would drain our resources at a time when we shouldn't be doing that.

It's one of the reasons I don't think it's intelligent to continually make the Ukraine war a permanent column in the Defense Department budget and effectively engage in a Cold War with Russia. while the looming threat of China, which makes, Taiwan has a lot more strategic importance to America than the Ukraine does.

1,000%. While the looming threat of China, which makes, Taiwan has a lot more strategic importance to America than the Ukraine does.

1,000%. And any smart person will tell you that.

So the idea that we'd be, we cannot fight wars in three theaters.

We can't be funding these people and funding Israel and in Iran.

We can't do it.

So President Trump has given Iran a two-month deadline to accept a deal that would lead to Iran shrinking its nuclear footprint or eliminating its program altogether.

I'm not a father. we can't do it.
So President Trump has given Iran a two-month deadline to accept a deal that would lead to Iran shrinking its nuclear footprint or eliminating its program altogether. I want them not to have a nuclear weapon.
I want Iran to be a wonderful, great, happy country, but they can't have a nuclear weapon, Trump said on Air Force One. Because Iran having a nuclear weapon poses a direct threat to Israel, not so much America, but Israel's an ally of America.
And of course, Trump said military strikes are possible against Iran if a new nuclear deal isn't reached, though he said Israel, which has been advocating for an attack on Iran, would take the lead. Well, here we are.
Here we are. Here we are again.
And who's this for?

Whose security is this for? If it requires military, we're going to have military, Trump said on Wednesday. Israel will obviously be very much involved in that.
They'll be the leader of that. Israel wants to go to war with Iran because it is in their interest to do so.
Iran backs proxies like Hezbollah and other people that have attacked Israel. And Israel has gone to war with Hezbollah and it has gone to war.
Hezbollah is backed by Lebanon, but Iran is funneling money to all of these different groups. The Houthis, all of the different terrorist groups, Iran is definitely supporting.
And Qatar is supporting to some degree. And it makes sense why Israel would want to go to war with Iran.
However, right now, it makes very little sense that a president who campaigned on being peaceful and getting us out of wars and restoring the middle class would entertain preemptive strikes on Iran with Israel. Iran has allies like China and Russia, and I don't know if China and Russia would directly get involved in this.
They probably wouldn't, but I don't think they would. But they might.
It's always a risk when you destabilize an entire region of the world that allies like China and Iran are going to come in and now we're in World War III. Now we're literally in World War III.
The economy's tanked and now we're walking into World War III with Iran at the behest again of Israel, which I don't think is a smart decision for our government to make. And there's a lot of people in Trump's ear that are telling him it is a smart thing to do, that this is a good thing, that it's a necessary thing.
I don't think it is. And I think a lot of people agree with what I'm saying.
And that's that we simply cannot continue to look at regime change in the world as the only option. We have to start dealing with people that are dangerous and threatening without directly going to war with them.
America's moment running the world is over. China is a power equal to or greater economically than we are at this point, probably equal to.
Some people say their economy is bigger. It depends on what metrics you look at.
India is coming up. Russia has more nuclear weapons than any other country.
A lot of countries are going, you can't push them around. A lot of countries are nuclear.
A lot of countries, they're not Iraq. They're not Afghanistan.
They cannot simply be bent to our will. And I think J.D.
Vance gets that. I think a lot of people in the administration that I have spoken to, I haven't spoken to J.D., but I know a lot of people get it.
And there's a lot of people that don't get it. there's a lot of people in the administration that I have spoken to, I haven't spoken to JD, but I know a lot of people get it.

And there's a lot of people that don't get it.

There's a lot of people that don't understand it.

Because there's this idea that retreat or capitulation to a guy like Vladimir Putin or the Ayatollahs in Iran is a sign of American weakness. And that is the foreign policy establishment's view in Washington.
The permanent foreign policy establishment, they just want war all the time. They don't really care what happens.
I mean, Netanyahu just goes, even if the nuclear strikes drag on, Israel may just strike anyway. I mean, he goes, we might just, we might do it anyway.
You can talk if you want. Well, we might just get it popping.
We might go into it anyway. Do you want to fight? I mean, think about it.
Are you trying to fight Iran out there? Anyone? Is anyone trying to fight Iran right now? Is anyone trying to fight Vladimir Putin over where the northern border of the Ukraine should be? Is anyone doing that? Does anyone? I respect the people that were like dual citizens of Israel and America, the ones that went over there to fight. I respect that.
God bless. Go do your thing.
And I respect that. But there's a lot of people that won't be fighting these wars to just love them.
They're like really excited. We're going to strike anyway, says Benjamin Nia.
Does this guy, do we have any control over these people? Do we have any influence over there? We give them billions of dollars. Do we have absolutely any influence at all with that country at this moment? This is like your kid walks into your house with a new tattoo, smoking a cigarette, and you're like, young lady, lady What What the fuck's going on You're smoking in the house You have a tattoo And they're saying you're not going to school Hey ma fuck you And I need five hunch What And then as you're saying it you're writing the check You're like I cannot, I cannot believe you're acting.
You want me to make it out to cash? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Here's your money. And then they put this cigarette out and they ash it on the floor and they put it out with their boot.
And then they walk out and they go, yeah, fuck you. And tell everyone at school, fuck off.
I'm going to Coachella to get fucking railed out in a teepee or something. I don't know.
But the point is, we really have to start looking at this. Like, Benjamin Netanyahu's like, this guy was, like, on trial for corruption.
Now, when my helicopter goes down, by the way, let's all not, let's's wonder why but he was on trial for corruption then october 7th happened the tragedy of october 7th the horror the attack don't call it a tragedy it was yes yes yes the attack i get it i didn't do it so this happens it's horrible they respond okay they go wild they go a bit overboard i think well those are actually the Hamas statistics sure yeah okay okay but it's not good right it's not great so we have this situation now on top of all and we've been very supportive now iran i i don't i don't know so we're gonna just we're gonna sleepwalk through that if trump that, I think it's the end of his term, even more so than this economic volatility. I think if he walks into that war, it's the end of his term.
Foreign Minister Abbas Arachi warned that a war on Iran would drag the U.S. and the region into a costly conflict that a president elected on an anti-war platform would be eager to avoid.
We cannot imagine President Trump wanting to become another U.S. president mired in a catastrophic war in the Middle East, a conflict that would quickly extend across the region and cost exponentially more than the trillions of taxpayer dollars that his predecessors burned in Afghanistan and Iraq.
You know, history, the longer you pay attention, this is why eventually I will retire from this job. It's not because I don't enjoy it.
I actually love doing it. I love doing this.
I love to stand up and I love coming on here. But here's the reality.
Eventually everything just starts to repeat itself. It's crazy.
We're talking again about going to war in the Middle East. You understand we did this in 2003.
It's now 2025. You understand what we're doing again it's the same it really is just it's Groundhog Day it's that movie it's just the same day every day I hope Trump figures out that this would be a terrible terrible idea now let's talk about that car that you own but don't use one you're paying to keep registered and insured that's taking up space out front and it's just sitting there doing no one any good.
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To escape the grid, young people are turning into mini retreats.

These little mini retirements.

Young people are going through it, apparently Some young people are spending their savings On an extended break earlier in their careers Rather than waiting until retirement Nobody believes in a future Nobody And they're not And they. They're not wrong.
Nobody believes this planet is going anywhere good. No one I know fantasizes about a retirement playing golf in South Carolina with their wife.
If you've got it, flaunt it. Smoke them while you got them is the, like, ethos of people right now.
Nobody really is approaching this thinking to themselves, hey, you know what'll be great in 20 years? When we're all happy, healthy, and retired and sitting on our porch. Everybody is ready to live now and be killed.
That's what everybody's waiting for. Marina Kazar wasn't sure what to call the three-month break she took after quitting her job.
After working in a series of jobs in finance and technology, Ms. Kazar, 30, was feeling stressed and overworked in December 2023 with a bit of savings built up.
She quit without another position lined up to focus on things that had fallen to the wayside while she focused on work. I had more time to work out.
I was eating better, sleeping better. It was just like a full reset.
For the first time in my adult life, I didn't have this looming cloud of work. Eventually, she came across a term for her hiatus that resonated with her micro retirement.
For most people in the United States, being able to save enough money to not have to work is a faraway ideal. That anxiety, especially for people closer to retirement, has only risen as stock markets have grown more volatile in response to President Trump's global tariffs.
Discontented employees who do not have the means to leave the workforce have turned to quiet quitting, acting your wage, or simply using their vacation days. So quiet quitting means I'm here, but I'm not.
I'm barely here. You don't see me.
I'm doing the minimum. Acting your wage means you're going to pay me

shit. That's the level of work you're going to get.
And now these mini retirements or micro retirements are people saying I'm being ground into dust by this hellish job and I don't believe in a future. So I'm going to spend the money while I have it now to rejuvenate myself.
it's taking a sabbatical

I agree with some of this

I love So I'm going to spend the money while I have it now to rejuvenate myself. It's taking a sabbatical.
I agree with some of this. I like it.
I like it because people are saying, hey, we're not going to make it here. And I'm going to have a little something for myself while I still can.
A mini retirement can take on many forms, taking extra time after being laid off to consider other paths, asking for unpaid leave, or building in a long stretch after voluntarily leaving a job. A lot of people cannot afford to take time out of the workforce.
But those who do take these breaks tend to be much more financially stable. Of course, these are people who have a little bit of money, maybe not a ton, but enough to take a break.
And they look at their lives and they realize this isn't going to end well. Gene Hackman was one of the greatest actors of our time.
They just found him in his house and the rats ate him. His dogs ate him.
And his wife, they had a rat-borne disease and they were eaten by their own pets. And that's the best case.
That's the best case. You're a legendary actor and you moved to Santa Fe to get away from it all and you're still eaten by the pets you fed.
this is what's going on people know that things are going to get worse

they're going to die in a cyclone. On a girl's trip in Nashville, they're just going to be taken up into the sky like the Wizard of Oz, but it doesn't work out like that.
It throws you back down and you break your spleen. People know a helicopter is going to crash in the ocean.
They know they're going to go to Thailand and get some weird disease that nobody knows what it really is. And then it's curtains.
So enjoy it. Smoke them while you got them.
That's the mini retirement thing. It's an acceptance of the fact that this doesn't get better.
And it really doesn't. Not to be negative about it, but the American government is in kind of a cold civil war where people are using lawyers and law firms to go at each other.
There are different feuding power factions within our government that are blackmailing and entrapping each other and forming alliances with foreign governments to try to topple each other.

The country and world has been given over to wealthy oligarchs who are teaming up to destroy what's left of the freedom on earth. You might as well take a couple of weeks in Key West.
What the hell are you saving it for? This doesn't turn around. This only gets so much worse.

So much worse. Unbelievably worse.
Acid rain. Your flesh is falling off your face.
Your children are going to barricade you in your home. And they're going to be on drugs you've never even heard of your kids.
Oh my God, the things your kids are going on they're going to wake up you're going to open your kids room in the in the middle of the night you open their door and they're sitting in their bed with big eyes looking at the wall going everything will become a horror movie it's going to be insane i'm telling you take some time in the hudson valley go upstate it's a couple hours from the city. You don't need to save all of your money for when China decides Taiwan's had enough of free time or when fucking Israel just decides to launch 15 nukes.
So, I mean, what are you waiting for? What are the chances your retirement's going to be nice? What are the chances things are going to degenerate so rapidly, it's going, your head will spit, it's not going back. It's not going back.
It's not going back. The Costco family is the good times.
They're the good times. Yes, it's stupid and silly and demonic, but you can still say, God, that's cringe.
You still have the ability to call it cringe. You still have the ability to recognize that it's gross and cringe.
You're going to lose that. You're going to lose it.
You won't remember what it was. What is cringe? What do you mean? That word will lose all meaning.
You will not be able to recognize good from bad. You won't know what cringe means.
You'll just know that a large group of people has decided to follow a person. That's all you'll know.
You'll look at the numbers and go, whoa, whoa. And you'll see them and it won't matter what they're doing or maybe they'll be shitting in a fountain in Central Park and the video is good.
And you'll go, whoa, that's pretty fucking cool. He's shitting in the fountain from friends.
It won't matter what they're doing, but you will lose the ability to know that it is cringe. The entire internet now is dominated by people who are parading around their worst qualities and being rewarded for it.
It encourages society to adopt that line of thinking. Let's go out there with our worst qualities and sell them to the people.
Let's be the worst we can be, the most annoying, the most desperate,

the most, like, you know, insane versions of ourselves,

the ones that we privately hid,

the ones that we would keep under lock and key,

the ones that we would only show to our close friends and family,

and they would go, ugh, go away.

Go away. That's stupid.
Go away.

The ideas that never should have seen the light of day have come to define people.

And those are going to be your gods.

You're not going to be able to tell where and when it went so wrong.

Don't save your money for retirement. Don't.
I mean, can you imagine what a retirement community is going to look like in 20 years? It's going to be a prison. It's going to be a high-tech prison.
That's all it's going to be. A high-tech prison in the desert.
And the reason it's going to be a prison is if you have enough money, they're going to have to protect you from what's on the outside. The other side of the fence.
Don't go too close to the fence. So yeah, if you got a couple of bucks, go to Europe now.
That's what I'm saying. Go to Europe now.
You need to wait till this degenerates fully. I mean, you're not even going to know who to be mad at in the future.
It's AI. You're going to be shaking your fist at a robot.
You're not even going to know who to be angry at. You're not even going to be able to identify the source of your pain.
You're not going to be able to, and it's by design. You'll just be like overcome and not know what to do.
And it'll just fill you. You'll live in a constant state of dread, a constant state of dread and horror.
And you won't exactly know who to assign blame to, and then you'll just go on this fucking phone

or whatever you have,

or maybe the phone's in you at that point,

and it'll just be retard after retard.

It'll just, it'll be,

and you won't be able to know.

It'll be an endless stream

of the most disgusting things

you've ever seen in your life,

and you won't be able to stop it.

You won't be able to opt out.

It's gonna be everywhere.

It's gonna be everywhere. It's not gonna make any sense, but you'll lose the verbiage.
You're going to lose the language. That word cringe might be the most important word in the English language once it's gone and buried and dead and it means nothing.
And you're just watching, I don't know, fat people get stuck in fucking doors or, you know, these weird albinos singing in a parking lot or whatever's coming. And it's not even coming.
It's here. You're going to lose the ability to know how did it happen? How did this happen? How have our lives been taken over by these people? They'll just be people making sounds.
They're just going to make sounds. There'll be a guy with an eye patch who goes, and you won't be able to stop.
You won't be able to stop it. You won't be able to stop.
It's not going to, there'll be a woman in her car. She lives in her car and she'll be sitting there.
shoved newspapers all around and she'll just go. I'm telling you, that's what's coming.
Why in God's name would you not go take a nice weekend in Georgia if you could? It has absolutely no value. Do not save your money.
Do not wait for a retirement. It's not going to make any sense for you to retire.
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No missed customers. Mahmoud Khalil, sorry, a judge ruled you can go.
You can be deported. While I disagree with this decision, I don't personally know you.
Louisiana immigration judge ruled Friday that activist Mahmoud Khalil can be deported in an undated two-page memo submitted to the court. Rubio detailed that on March 7th he got information about Khalil.
So, I mean, I guess, you know, whatever. They showed this judge some evidence.
I don't know what that is, of this guy that revoked his visa.

He was wiling out. After the ruling, Khalil

told the judge, I would like to quote what you said the last

time, that there's nothing more important

to this court than due process, rights,

and fundamental fairness. Clearly what we witnessed today,

neither of those principles were present

today or in this whole process.

This is exactly why the Trump administration

has sent me to this court a thousand miles away from

my family. I just hope that the urgency that you deem fit for me afforded to the hundreds of others who have been here without hearings for months.

He will not immediately deported.

His attorneys have said that if he were ordered.

Here's the thing.

I don't want this guy to be deported.

I also don't want him to be like a folk hero.

I don't want either of those things happening.

I want him to be here and ignored.

That's what I want. I want him to be here and ignored That's what I want I want him to be in this country

And be ignored

Like most people in this country

They're completely ignored

That's what I want

I don't want him to get a soapbox

I don't want him to lecture me

I don't want to hear anything about colonialism

I don't want to hear any of that

I just want him to be silent in my country

And shut up

Which is his country now

I guess if he's on a visa

I don't know what his statements are. I disagree with a lot of them and I'd agree with some of them.
But the point is that I just don't want to be lectured to by this guy. It's the same reason I don't want to be lectured to by Vivek.
Rah-la-la-la-la-la-la. You just got here.
Chill. You just got here.
Chill a little. Chill a little bit.
You just got to the party. Chill.
Just don't tell everyone immediately. Now, I know you have feelings.

I get it.

If I went to Qatar to stay at the Four Seasons,

I wouldn't immediately be like,

oh, Hamas is a terrorist group.

I'd be like, I like the pool.

You have to assimilate a little bit.

Just chill.

I would not even bring it up. If I was in the Qatar Four would be, I would not even bring it up.

If I was in the Qatar Four Seasons, I wouldn't even bring it up.

I wouldn't bring it up.

I wouldn't be like, well, Hamas is a little bit of a death cult.

I'd be like, the eggs are fluffy and the pool is nice.

It's a great hotel.

I'm having a good time.

I'm actually having a great time here.

I wouldn't be like, oh, let's organize a demonstration at the Four Seasons in Qatar. I would be on a fluffy bed going, it's so technological.
I would call the front desk and go, I just want to say the technology in the hotel is amazing. You have these iPads and we order everything from the, I mean, I just want to say it's stunning.

I actually think it's great.

I wouldn't be starting, I wouldn't be like, what about the rights of women?

I'd be like, where's the spa?

Let's chill it out.

You're a guest.

I'm a guest.

In Saudi Arabia, I don't start going around and going,

why are you chopping people's hands off? I go, where's that indoor lake you have with the jet skis? That's sick. I think people, you're a guest.
If I'm a guest, I'm a good guest. I am a great guest in a home, in a country.
I don't go in there and tell everyone what's what.

No one wants that.

No, I've had horrible guests in my home. They bring their dogs.
They're rude. They insult RFK.
He's my friend. But what I've learned is how to be a good guest.
And here's how you be a good guest. You don't make your presence known in a, like, controversial way.
You focus on what's nice. You focus on what's good.
I don't agree with Hamas. I don't agree with the Qatari royal family.
I'm sure there's overlap. We both like luxury.
We both seem to enjoy real estate. There's overlap per se, but they're not good to gay people or women, you know, and they have archaic points of view, but I don't make that the focal point.
If I go, I appreciate the scale of the development. You have to chill.
Like the Vex over here yelling and screaming, Americans are lazy. Hey, buddy, you got here a few generations ago.
Just chill. Just chill.
You're not being a good guest. No one wants that.
I'll be a good guest. I'll be in Doha.
Wow, the World Cup stadium's amazing. wouldn't People in Dubai Oh no You think I would go to Dubai And be like Everything's made by slaves I wouldn't say that I would look at them And go get to work I'm a good guest I would go That's an amazing building Not Well There's no climate regulation So you No no no no It's a no, no.
It's good. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
This thing's tall. That's tall as fuck.
I assimilate. I'm a good guest.
I don't go to India and go, well, this caste system seems unfair. These untouchables.
I don't do that. I don't do that.
It's not my business. I'm a good guest.
I assimilate. I would be at the Saudi

Behanding, not because I agree with

it, but I'd just be there.

Thief.

Well, this is...

Well, actually, this is

what happens. In my country,

we let them run everything, the thieves.

Yeah.

Well, they just run through the streets, actually. How are you? Good to meet you as well, Mahmoud.
Very good. Thank you.
And this is Fatima. Hi.
Well, I mean, it seems extreme, but the reality is where I'm from, there's drug addicts on the street and everybody, it's smash and grabs in the Woodland Hills Mall. It's a part of Los Angeles.
You know Los Angeles? Of course you do. Well, they've ruined it.
They've actually killed it. Do they just do one hand? They don't do two? I might do two.
I might do two. But I see what you're saying.
Okay, he's coming. And he still puts the mask on.
Okay. It's actually humane.
It's actually quite humane. And they disinfected after.
I think that's good. What are the restaurants?

What are the restaurants?

Is that one good?

You're the third person who's told me.

Fatima, you are the third person who's told

me that's the good one.

I'm going to see if I can get it. Well, it was lovely to

meet you and it was lovely. And you're Osama?

It was lovely to meet the whole family.

I'm a good guest. I'm a good

guest.

What do you think I'm going to do? Run on the stage? Why are you chopping his hand off? He's a thief. It's not my country.
I didn't design it. Nobody's a good guest anymore.
So this guy's coming here and yelling and screaming. Listen, it's not about whether you're right or wrong.
You're a guest and you have to act a little bit like a fucking guest. I'm sorry you do.
I do not go to places and tell them they should be more like me. I don't tell them they should be more like America.
That's not what I'm not on this mission to tell everyone how to live. Everyone else is.
It's odd. It's odd.
Everyone's just doing that all day. And no one's bored of that.
I don't, I would completely, I would walk down to the Qatar lobby and say to them, this is such a beautiful and luxurious property. And I'm, you know, I mean, what am I going to do? Be like, well, I think a lot of this is unfair, you know? And you know what will happen.
It's just inevitable. I'll be talking to this guy.
We'll be laughing. Probably smoking.
They like smoking. Be smoking and he'll hand me his card and it'll go like director of business relations, Hamas, and I'll go.
You have to meet people where they are You have to I don't think That this is the problem If you come here just be a little quiet And fit in a little bit Just fit in a little bit I'm not saying you're wrong I just talked the first half of the show That we shouldn't go to a war with Iran And Israel shouldn't start just lobbing this I'm not saying you're wrong. I just talked the first half of the show that we shouldn't go to a war with Iran and Israel shouldn't start just lobbing this.
I'm not saying you're wrong. And I get it.
And America's based on peaceful protests, but do you know what it's even based on more than that? Kind of quietly buying things. Actually, people like the heart of America is peaceful protests.
I'm like, but it's also quietly shopping, to be honest. Like, that's really the way I feel.
Like, yes, like, when you think of America, do you think of just people screaming in the streets? Not really. I think of, like, a nice mall, like a suburban mall.
You get a cup of coffee, you buy a couple of things. Like, that's the thing.
You can quietly shop. You're also honoring the traditions of America.
Maybe the only, you should, the only tradition of America that you should, like, free speech is a tradition. Protest is a tradition.
It's not the only tradition. Why honor that as the only tradition? Honor a few other traditions.
Going out to eat, having a cocktail, buying things. Those are traditions.
It's not the only tradition to go out and yell and scream in the street. There's other traditions.
There's lots of other traditions. You can have a family, go to a little league game, whatever, if your kid's in it, not if it's not creep.
But you know what I mean? Like there's other traditions. It's not the only tradition we have.
Well, America's built on free speech. Yes, but also buying things.
You can do that. In the same way that I'd say just, well, you know, I wouldn't say that the entire country is about buying things.
The entire country is not about protesting. It's just not.
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Berries and stores with beverage tax. Can you imagine if I was in Dubai and somebody came up to me and they're like, do you know all these buildings were built by slaves? I'd go, hey, hey, what are we doing here? What are you saying to me? Let's just enjoy this building.
It's actually beautiful. There's an indoor ski slope in it.
If they said to me, these buildings are made by slaves,

I'd turn around and go, they've done the mountain inside.

It's not easy.

Can you enjoy it for a minute?

And what are you going to do about it?

This is where I'm at, folks. You got to meet people where they are a little bit.

This is why I don't think we should go into Iran.

What are we doing over there? Like, I think that we just got to meet people where they are a little bit. This is why I don't think we should go into Iran.
What are we doing over there?

Like, I think that we just got to chill it out. The lessons of the early 2000s were that you cannot force your way of life onto people at the barrel of a gun.
It does not work. It is not smart.
people like America

the ones who still like it

because it seemed like a place

where you could have freedom and you would use that freedom to be cool and do things that people liked around the world. This whole thing that like everyone's dying to be America, it's completely untrue.
It's a complete falsehood. People around the world

are not clamoring to be Americans. But the reason that they used to like us is because our lifestyles were enviable.
They're no longer that enviable. People don't look at an 80-hour work week with no health care in a city where you could get stabbed by a homeless junkie on the way back to your fucking rat hole apartment as an enviable life.
They don't. They don't envy having sex with 100,000 people and then ending up to be completely alone.
and, you a Chelsea Handler that's not necessarily an enviable life to a lot of people in this country in other countries looking at us we're not enviable back in the day people would look at us and that is it. You get your little house.
You have a little life. You have a family.
Or maybe you're in the arts. Maybe you're gay and talented.
Remember when gay people were talented? Remember that? 20, 30 years ago? And maybe you were gay and talented or you were in the arts. You did something cool.
You had a bohemian life and you didn't really give a shit. You weren't running around trying to make everyone accept you, you were good at something, and people were in awe of that, okay? Okay? It was interesting, and you played around with gender from a sexy point of view, it's not Sam Smith with a devil hat on and his ass out who looks like my drunk uncle at a Halloween party.
It's not enviable anymore to people, okay? When our biggest show is the White Lotus with just soulless rich people floating around a hotel pool and brothers jerky each other off, it's not that enviable to people anymore. We've given away that.
People don't look at it as the ideal anymore.

When you take a beautiful city like San Francisco

and you make it into a scene from a zombie apocalypse movie,

people tend not to envy that.

That's not good governance.

People don't emulate that.

They don't want that, okay?

Okay?

When we're preaching that individualism means a nine-year-old girl has a beard, people don't want that. They're not into that.
They don't really want that. It's not ideal.
They don't look at that as enviable. We're not selling a good product right now.
We're not selling a good product. So maybe let's work on the product a little bit Okay?

We're not exactly selling this enviable life that oscillates between Christian fundamentalist lunacy, flat earth QAnon stuff, and then also like crazy patriarchal white supremacist fucking handmaid's tale fantasies. The culture swings from one thing to the next.
It's not enviable. People go, this seems crazy.
You all seem crazy. You all just seem like crazy people.
It seems like they let a mental institution out and gave you all phones. It's not an enviable culture.
We're not selling. Nothing is cool anymore.
Everything is so uncool by design. These retards, I'll bring the bull.
It's so fucking stupid that people in, there are people right now, the slaves in Dubai don't want to be a part of it. They go, just put another sack of cement on my back and I'll die in the mud with my dignity.

It's so bad.

It's so fucking hollowed out that it's the product.

It's one thing if people wanted what we were selling, they don't.

They don't.

It's not fun.

It seems like a lot of work for a very little result.

It doesn't make any sense to anyone.

The buy-in is too high right now.

We need to chill.

We need to chill.

We're like a band that's released too many albums that needs to chill

and then come back for a tour. Oh, they're back.
Wow, they look good. We need to have that moment where we come back and look good.
That's what we need. We're just shoving ourselves down the world's throat right now.
We need to take up a beat and then come back for like a reunion tour and have everyone go, this is kind of sick. People are excited about Oasis because they went away.
We got to go away for a little bit and then come back. And then people go, whoa, they look great.
That's what we're missing. We're just too out there right now.
We're just, people are just like, oh, enough of it. It's enough.
It's too much. The headlines, it's too much.
You know, Trump's done some good things, some crazy things, but like the way that the headlines are just dominated, it's all politics in this country and no fun. And it's not enviable to people.
They don't look at this and go, oh, it's just constant political, you know, where's the art, where's the music, where's the pop culture, where's the lifestyle, where's the innovation, where, where's anything that we like and envy here. You know, we're now going and ripping off trends for other, but we're ripping off Scandinavian architecture.
We're ripping off this. We're ripping off that.
Like, because we've stopped innovating. We've stopped progressing in any interesting way because we're just at each other's throats about politics and nonsense.
And then we're going to try to replay 2003 again with Iran now. We're going to go back and watch a movie that nobody wants to watch.
No one wants to watch this movie. We know how this ends.
No one wants to watch this movie. So hopefully JD and Tulsi and some of the people over there can wrestle control back and let's watch another movie.
Let's do something else. Let's take a break for a little bit.
America needs a micro retirement. That's what it needs.
America needs to go out to Joshua Tree and take some shrooms and figure out what it wants to do with the rest of its life. America just got fired from a job and it's got savings for a couple of months and America needs to go out and take a

micro retirement and it needs to go out to Zion National Park or something and figure out what the hell it wants to do. Because right now, America needs a timeout and then it needs to reemerge and come back as like kind of a sexy,

middle-aged, salt and pepper haired, old con artist at the bar.

That's what we are.

And there'll be a bunch of the younger countries like India and Brazil

and people like that.

Not old, not younger in the sense, but like new to money.

These countries would be new to money.

They go, what do we do? And then America's like the salt and pepper hair guy at the end of the bar who's like let me tell you a story let me tell you a little something and then you become like a sage old counselor to these young countries and you teach them how to fuck people over that's what we need to do's our legacy on the world stage. The old guy at a bar in the Florida Keys who talks a good game and they go, you don't know about Johnny? And they go, who's this guy Johnny? And they go, Johnny used to run this whole fucking place.
He used to run this whole fucking town. And you go, wow, he seems to know everything and everybody.
Man, Johnny knows everybody. Johnny knows everything.
And they go, yeah, they go, he brought the boom. Oh yeah.
Oh, he brought the boom. Good night, everyone.
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