438 - Tariffs, China & The Chocolate Factory

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Speaker 4 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show.

Speaker 8 Recorded on the day the market is dipping, crashing.

Speaker 11 There's blood in the water.

Speaker 12 The tariffs have arrived.

Speaker 15 Donald Trump is putting tariffs on

Speaker 11 many countries to

Speaker 17 bring back manufacturing to America.

Speaker 15 It's a gambit. It's a risky gambit.

Speaker 19 We are primarily a podcasting-based economy.

Speaker 22 We are a hot take economy. We are an opinion-driven economy.

Speaker 24 We do not make anything anymore except

Speaker 9 takes.

Speaker 22 We are a grievance-based economy. We are a rage-based economy.

Speaker 28 And that is, we're shifting now.

Speaker 15 And it's painful from an economy based on

Speaker 33 people's

Speaker 35 thoughts and feelings

Speaker 20 an economy now hopefully based on people manufacturing things and going back to the factory, get back in the factory is what Trump's hoping.

Speaker 8 He's hoping that people will

Speaker 40 walk back into the factories and start making stuff made in the USA.

Speaker 7 You know, people be, they're proud. They work with their hands again.
They get into it again.

Speaker 42 They get on that assembly line again.

Speaker 43 And I don't know.

Speaker 10 I mean, maybe that happens. I'm skeptical.

Speaker 44 I'm a little skeptical.

Speaker 41 But you know what?

Speaker 45 Maybe it happens.

Speaker 46 Maybe we learn to live with less.

Speaker 39 Maybe we learn to live with less.

Speaker 48 We don't need all these things.

Speaker 48 Instead of all these things that are cheap,

Speaker 50 you get a job in a factory and you work there all day every day.

Speaker 38 And you have camaraderie with the other workers at the factory.

Speaker 52 That's the hope here.

Speaker 39 You know, the softball team and the cookout and the block party and we bring America back where that's the hope.

Speaker 52 The hope is that you work all day at the factory and then you have friends there and you all go together.

Speaker 43 and raise your children and someone of you coaches the team

Speaker 58 and then it's it's that america we all read about and hoped hoped for and none of us really ever lived in, but it comes back and people are excited and they have pride.

Speaker 31 I work at the factory and I make the stuff and the stuff is good.

Speaker 31 And we derive a sense of national pride from that.

Speaker 43 And you don't have a million cars.

Speaker 36 You have one car that the family uses.

Speaker 60 And everyone has to decide who gets the car when.

Speaker 61 Because you're not going to afford a car anymore.

Speaker 31 You get one car for the family of six or seven people.

Speaker 39 Grandpa, grandma, mom, dad, the three kids.

Speaker 6 You have one vehicle.

Speaker 24 You have one TV.

Speaker 35 It goes back to fighting over what are we watching.

Speaker 64 We've lost that with cheap goods.

Speaker 41 The rage that you felt when someone had the TV in the living room and you didn't and you wanted to watch something, it's all coming back is my point.

Speaker 67 Those moments we lost fighting with each other.

Speaker 57 Now everyone's got a TV, everyone's got a phone, everyone's got a car, there's no sense of

Speaker 70 togetherness.

Speaker 52 But now there will be a sense of together when everyone has one thing,

Speaker 59 an entire family has one thing that everyone can fight over and rip each other's faces off

Speaker 52 so that you all decide as a family, you argue as a family about the merits of what shows on Netflix you want to watch.

Speaker 7 Let's go see some of these numbers here.

Speaker 39 They're a little troubling.

Speaker 46 They're disconcerting.

Speaker 67 The Dow's down about 1,400 points.

Speaker 7 SP is down 4%

Speaker 35 as of now.

Speaker 10 Nike fell 12%.

Speaker 41 So many of its products are made outside of the United States.

Speaker 19 You don't need Nikes.

Speaker 24 You don't need them.

Speaker 73 There are other shoes.

Speaker 62 There's other types of shoe

Speaker 41 other than a Nike. United Airlines lost 10%

Speaker 28 because their customers are worried about the global economy.

Speaker 11 You ain't getting on the plane.

Speaker 29 NVIDIA sank 4.6%,

Speaker 20 which they've already been losing, but now their loss is down to 22%.

Speaker 74 I mean, all of these things,

Speaker 38 you're going to learn to live without

Speaker 39 traveling

Speaker 52 or shoes

Speaker 75 there's

Speaker 18 i don't know what to tell people that need these things all the time to be happy

Speaker 6 you don't need all of these things to be happy all the time you just need to make do with less

Speaker 49 this is how you bring back

Speaker 7 the america that we lost

Speaker 11 i'm telling you

Speaker 67 this is what

Speaker 65 this is what people are

Speaker 51 are are excited about

Speaker 76 because there's too much uh shit people have too many things

Speaker 64 you don't need a phone

Speaker 8 anymore like a smartphone all it does is pump your head full of craziness

Speaker 52 you don't need sell it if you have a smartphone right now Sell it to a drug dealer who can use it.

Speaker 8 If you're not a drug dealer, you don't need a phone.

Speaker 26 It's the way that we treated pagers.

Speaker 11 Oh, you have a pager?

Speaker 30 Are you a drug dealer?

Speaker 71 That's what it used to be.

Speaker 73 You had a cell phone, you were a drug dealer.

Speaker 78 Now everyone needs a cell phone.

Speaker 52 By midday, the SP 500 lost 4.37%.

Speaker 20 The NASDAQ declined by 5.59%.

Speaker 72 And the Dow Jerry, most of this doesn't matter to people because they're just broke.

Speaker 43 And they don't know what any of this means.

Speaker 40 And it doesn't mean anything to them.

Speaker 7 But there are people that have the 401k, that retirement plan.

Speaker 11 And that got hammered because you're all invested.

Speaker 80 Okay.

Speaker 49 We've erased trillions of dollars from the U.S.

Speaker 16 stock market.

Speaker 41 But, you know,

Speaker 68 you got to stop thinking that more money

Speaker 15 is making you happier.

Speaker 8 It actually could go the opposite.

Speaker 48 Where some of the happiest people I know are impoverished.

Speaker 49 Have you seen a third world country and all the kids are smiling and singing songs?

Speaker 43 A lot of them are singing songs.

Speaker 7 Bring up African children singing.

Speaker 40 Get up African children singing, please.

Speaker 10 African children singing.

Speaker 82 Smiling and singing.

Speaker 58 I don't want to see any of the starvation.

Speaker 28 It depresses me.

Speaker 38 Singing, not the, well, okay.

Speaker 47 Well, look at this.

Speaker 46 Look at this.

Speaker 52 Bring this up.

Speaker 57 This is what's going to happen once everyone.

Speaker 85 Look at them.

Speaker 47 What are we talking about?

Speaker 47 Let's go.

Speaker 84 It's a poor country.

Speaker 52 When's the last time you've seen Americans sing like this and be happy?

Speaker 64 Never.

Speaker 64 Never.

Speaker 38 All right. All right.

Speaker 58 But

Speaker 89 this is what I mean. Get up, other, get up, get up, get up, homeless crackhead dancing

Speaker 71 because

Speaker 59 you need to understand that your, your wealth does not define

Speaker 16 your

Speaker 66 level of happiness.

Speaker 60 I'm telling you, you have to, you have to divorce yourself from this idea.

Speaker 38 Oh, I've got a big fat retirement.

Speaker 61 We gonna retire and see the world.

Speaker 47 Please give me a white crackhead.

Speaker 36 I don't want to be accused of racism.

Speaker 63 Get a white, Google white crackhead dancing.

Speaker 61 I'm trying to prove to people that you can be happy with less.

Speaker 55 Is this a real crackhead or is it some sketch?

Speaker 47 Get a real crackhead, please.

Speaker 57 A white crackhead who is happy because we don't need the things anymore.

Speaker 57 And I think

Speaker 37 we're going to be happy.

Speaker 38 Van life, people living in vans, they're thrilled because they have freedom.

Speaker 2 That's what we need.

Speaker 45 We don't need this overcomplicated

Speaker 7 thing where everybody's got all this money and we're all

Speaker 44 gonna retire in Byrd Beach, Florida. We're gonna have, I'm gonna play golf, and the little woman's gonna drink wine.

Speaker 38 No, work, work,

Speaker 94 work.

Speaker 55 Work gives you, get up, just Google happy factory.

Speaker 52 I want to see people in a factory that are happy.

Speaker 89 Get up, you know.

Speaker 52 Fuck, what's that?

Speaker 71 What's that Broadway show where they're all singing with the

Speaker 38 look?

Speaker 51 Just show an image of this.

Speaker 63 Show how happy they are. Get that up.
Get that up.

Speaker 77 Look at this.

Speaker 26 They're happy because the job is well done.

Speaker 12 The job is well done.

Speaker 89 Put it up.

Speaker 7 The job is well done.

Speaker 59 Look at this. They're high-fiving.

Speaker 10 They're all raising their hands.

Speaker 38 Who wants to work more?

Speaker 77 Me.

Speaker 38 I want to work more.

Speaker 95 Who wants to come in on their day off?

Speaker 8 That's the question they just asked.

Speaker 7 I want to come in on my day off.

Speaker 19 I'm proud of what we make here.

Speaker 90 Look at that elderly people with hard hats.

Speaker 52 That's what I want to see more of in this country.

Speaker 81 Elderly people with hard hats on, proud of what they do.

Speaker 52 You think that guy wants to be in Myrtle Beach playing golf?

Speaker 78 No, it's now a country about work.

Speaker 45 It's now a country about work.

Speaker 95 It was all this financial trickery.

Speaker 10 Ooh, the money's over here.

Speaker 95 The money's over there.

Speaker 11 Where's the money going?

Speaker 78 It's a game of monopoly.

Speaker 8 Fake real estate, developers, and foreign money and everything.

Speaker 64 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 35 This is a game now about

Speaker 38 work and work houses.

Speaker 7 Get up food, glorious food from Oliver.

Speaker 58 People misunderstand Oliver.

Speaker 49 They go, oh, how depressing is it?

Speaker 96 It's orphans. None of them have parents.

Speaker 94 Sure.

Speaker 36 What it really is, is

Speaker 68 people are working and it's a sense of community.

Speaker 7 It's a sense of community.

Speaker 39 Let's, this is what we're going back to: that hat, wearing a hat like that and pulling a rope.

Speaker 64 Play it.

Speaker 84 Is it what the white there they are?

Speaker 84 Here are the children.

Speaker 65 Here are the American children.

Speaker 86 All we get is gruel.

Speaker 80 That's okay.

Speaker 38 Gruel's healthy.

Speaker 86 Gruel is actually one of the healthiest things you can eat because it's high protein and it doesn't have sugar.

Speaker 44 See?

Speaker 97 Formations.

Speaker 84 No one has shoes.

Speaker 8 They don't care.

Speaker 77 Uniforms.

Speaker 44 You hold your bowl.

Speaker 8 You get your goodness.

Speaker 44 All right. All right.
We get it.

Speaker 51 Listen, so where would you rather them? Shooting up schools?

Speaker 8 Doing drugs?

Speaker 2 Running around the mall with guns?

Speaker 99 That's what the kids are doing.

Speaker 55 They're running around the mall now with a gun.

Speaker 74 Work.

Speaker 52 I think we're getting rid of child labor laws.

Speaker 8 Get them in a job, these kids.

Speaker 52 Children should be able to work at factories.

Speaker 55 Sorry.

Speaker 49 Teens sentenced for their roles in smash and grabs.

Speaker 55 Because, yeah, let's watch it.

Speaker 57 Because they have no community.

Speaker 88 They have no sense of pride

Speaker 43 in the things they make.

Speaker 10 Let's watch this.

Speaker 100 Thanks for joining us here at 6. I'm Mike Darda.

Speaker 101 And good evening to you. I'm Cherie Palolo.
Today in Claremont County, the last of those teenagers who pleaded guilty to charges learned their sentences.

Speaker 101 Our WLWT News Science Brian Hamrick was in the courtroom for the deposition hearing and has more live tonight.

Speaker 30 Sounds like a magician.

Speaker 102 Hey, Cherie, yeah, we have three juveniles, three different sentences. They were all caught in these smash and grab style burglaries where they used a stolen car to do the smashing.

Speaker 102 This is where the wheels came off in the crime right here in Claremont County. They were caught shortly after a robbery in this plaza and today they were sentenced.

Speaker 103 It was a summer of smashing.

Speaker 97 It's a really bad situation.

Speaker 97 All right.

Speaker 17 But this is what's happening.

Speaker 5 The children are criminals.

Speaker 45 The children in this country are look at what they're doing.

Speaker 40 This is what the children in the country are doing.

Speaker 45 The children in the country are criminals.

Speaker 22 And we need to get back to a time when they delivered the paper.

Speaker 11 Remember when they would deliver the paper?

Speaker 55 Get up, newsies.

Speaker 81 Get newsies up and they would deliver the paper.

Speaker 19 And you'd have a paper route, and you'd get up early, and you didn't want to do it.

Speaker 8 But your parents would tell you you get on that bike and you deliver the paper, and it gave you a sense of pride.

Speaker 72 And you'd get a shiny coin, and then you would use it at the fair to buy your lady a,

Speaker 37 I don't know, a cotton candy or something.

Speaker 84 This is what we're going back to.

Speaker 47 Look at this.

Speaker 47 Look at this.

Speaker 44 How happy.

Speaker 47 look at this hot off the presses

Speaker 8 everyone's happy everyone's happy

Speaker 88 this is what it used to be this is the country that it used to be like

Speaker 47 tariffs get us back to this

Speaker 8 look at this they can the kids now are too fat they can't even jump Look at a horse pulling a trolley.

Speaker 10 This is what we can go back to.

Speaker 48 Dancing in the street.

Speaker 48 All right.

Speaker 84 Here's my point.

Speaker 57 We're going back to when you used to go to a diner with your woman

Speaker 82 and you would smoke a cigarette at a diner and eat a cheeseburger, okay?

Speaker 95 You wouldn't vape and then eat a veggie burger in some fucking

Speaker 8 trans

Speaker 88 communist safe house.

Speaker 7 You would go to a diner like a man and smoke a Marlborough Red.

Speaker 55 And then we're going back to the good times and we're going to invade Vietnam.

Speaker 82 We're going, we're going to, we can win it now.

Speaker 64 We can win it now.

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Speaker 95 I mean, I'm excited about where this country is going.

Speaker 13 I'm not worried.

Speaker 69 I think we need a bit of nostalgia.

Speaker 44 And

Speaker 28 a market crash might be necessary to just get people to appreciate what matters in life.

Speaker 72 What matters in life is not your 401k plan.

Speaker 8 It's that your family works at a factory.

Speaker 52 And it is, they are, they can be good jobs.

Speaker 55 They can be a good job.

Speaker 55 You can't,

Speaker 39 you can't have it all.

Speaker 57 There is going to be classes in society.

Speaker 45 At the bottom is going to be the kind of like,

Speaker 24 you know,

Speaker 19 drug-addled,

Speaker 24 sporadic youth gangs and, you know,

Speaker 52 the unhoused,

Speaker 31 the homeless, the terrorists, people that are just on the margins.

Speaker 37 And then you're going to have the great vast middle of factory workers who are making things.

Speaker 17 And then at the top of society, you will have finance tech and podcasters who will occupy the top spaces in our society.

Speaker 138 People like me who have the courage to sit behind a desk and fatly scream about the things I barely understand.

Speaker 36 That is the way society functions now.

Speaker 82 I don't understand what people are saying.

Speaker 45 The vast middle of this country needs something to do, okay?

Speaker 5 Federal Reserve board member Philip Jefferson claimed that there were no plans to change track on the two planned cuts for this year because Wall Street was like, well, maybe tank the rates.

Speaker 42 Tank the interest rates to offset some of the bleeding in the market.

Speaker 83 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 64 We're not doing it.

Speaker 39 Get up, Willy Wonka.

Speaker 52 get up the umpalumpas Look at the umba what if you told the oompalumpas by the way the chocolate factory is closed now You're all gonna bartend at the Capitol Grill.

Speaker 99 They can't even see over the bar in the Capitol Grill.

Speaker 38 They're umpaloompas, okay?

Speaker 38 What we've done in this country is tell a bunch of umpaloompas that we're going to make the chocolate in China now where they don't even believe in God.

Speaker 66 So now you've got a bunch of orange people running around on fentanyl.

Speaker 52 They're upset.

Speaker 43 They're not invested in the market.

Speaker 55 The asset-owning class has taken all the money, and the oompa loompas are just trying to get on reality shows or flick their bean on OnlyFans.

Speaker 18 They've got fentanyl needles out of their arms, and their kids are doing smashing crabs.

Speaker 65 No good.

Speaker 87 loopa, loopa dee, dee.

Speaker 86 If you are mad at the moment.

Speaker 2 Now this is happening. Now,

Speaker 71 pause this.

Speaker 38 Now,

Speaker 52 they're doing this in India.

Speaker 10 That's India now.

Speaker 63 What?

Speaker 7 We're doing this in India?

Speaker 88 We're doing it in China?

Speaker 57 This is footage from a real fact.

Speaker 39 Now people go, oh, it's a movie. It's a movie.

Speaker 38 Shut up.

Speaker 65 It was a real

Speaker 60 this is this is as close to what i can show you as to what life used to be like when people had purpose go

Speaker 87 what do you get when you cuz down sweets eating as much as an elephant eats what are you at getting terribly fat what do you think will come of that

Speaker 184 i don't like the look of it

Speaker 128 They're very judgmental for people who work in a chocolate factory.

Speaker 119 I've never listened to the words of this before.

Speaker 128 A little fat phobic, isn't it?

Speaker 121 You know, aren't they the ones? Aren't they making the chocolate and yelling at everyone for eating it?

Speaker 12 But what I mean is that they had a community, they had a life, they had things going on.

Speaker 39 The umpaloompa could have a little,

Speaker 7 it could have a wife, and then you could have umpalumpa children.

Speaker 58 Now we say to the oompalumpas, I hope you got your Bitcoin.

Speaker 52 Oh, are you invested in crypto?

Speaker 39 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 76 I'm trying to make the chocolate bar.

Speaker 7 Oh, we don't do that here anymore.

Speaker 17 Sorry, the factories in China.

Speaker 7 Go work at Panera.

Speaker 89 So that's what America is.

Speaker 43 It's an oompa loompa at Panera who's pissed off, who's making your little,

Speaker 61 you know, panini at Panera.

Speaker 67 They put it.

Speaker 77 You want to heat it up? You want to heat it up? Do you want to heat it up?

Speaker 15 They're not happy.

Speaker 16 They used to go to a factory and sing and make treats for the children now they're in a strip mall in a panero waiting to get shot in the face by a psychopath you want it you want to heat in do you want what soup do you want we have southwestern corn chowder it's so horrible what we've done to people because these umpalumpas now follow me here because i know many of you are i think most of the people who watch this are high on something so it's easier to get to where i'm going but some of them are sober like me and if you are sober you have to follow me a little bit

Speaker 43 what you're doing now is

Speaker 38 these tariffs are for the umpalumpas.

Speaker 63 Because Wonka, they came to Wonka.

Speaker 45 The Chinese came to Wonka and they said, you're a psychopath.

Speaker 82 You're going to keep paying these umpalumpas to make the chocolate for the children.

Speaker 20 And Wonka goes, well, I'm going to give the factory to Charlie.

Speaker 28 Cause he's worthy of it and he's going to keep everything going.

Speaker 117 Well, maybe, maybe Charlie goes, you know, I looked at the books.

Speaker 52 We opened it up.

Speaker 39 And here's the reality.

Speaker 18 Even though Willy Wonka is a genius, he didn't know what he was doing with business.

Speaker 56 His factory is on the edge of bankruptcy.

Speaker 186 We need to cut costs.

Speaker 62 We need to cut costs.

Speaker 26 We can no longer afford to produce the chocolate in the factory.

Speaker 16 We need to go to where labor costs are low.

Speaker 64 So we're moving the factory.

Speaker 37 We're moving it to China or we're moving it to Pakistan.

Speaker 67 So the factory goes goodbye-bye.

Speaker 59 Then a real estate developer gets rid of the Willy Wonka chalk.

Speaker 17 They keep a little of it because you want the gate and the thing and they build a condo where the chocolate factory used to be, but they keep just enough of it to excite the millionaires and billionaires who are going to buy these condos.

Speaker 99 They come in to the chocolate factory and they go, oh, I'm living in this new building and it's so fucking cool and the realtors go they are developing the Willy Wonka chocolate factory into a luxury condo

Speaker 45 and then all of their clients many of them foreign buy condos in the Willy Wonka chocolate factory that they visit a few months out of the year they don't care

Speaker 90 They don't care. And you know what?

Speaker 52 All is left of the chocolate factory?

Speaker 38 A couple of murals on the wall of chocolate.

Speaker 52 Okay, but just chocolate.

Speaker 59 They don't show Willie or the Oompa Lumpas because people would ask when they were in the lobby, where did the Oompa Lumpas go?

Speaker 39 Oh, they're on heroin. They're on heroin.

Speaker 7 So you have the Oompa Lumpas now that are told to fuck off.

Speaker 118 Charlie takes a big buyout, okay, because a multinational corporation like Unilever buys the chocolate factory and they move all of the jobs offshore.

Speaker 45 Charlie gets a big penthouse and sits at the top of the penthouse and he, yeah, him, him, he's now evil.

Speaker 52 Okay?

Speaker 2 Because he said, I need more money and more money and more.

Speaker 71 And he never even liked chocolate.

Speaker 36 That's the other thing.

Speaker 8 He didn't even like chocolate.

Speaker 81 He just liked going to orgies on a yacht in international waters.

Speaker 47 So then he's at the top of his penthouse and he goes, oh, are we, let's go to the orgy.

Speaker 90 I'll take the helicopter we'll land right on the yacht so now he's in international waters having orgies with all of his winnings because unilever bought the chocolate factory and shipped it to china india brazil and people call you from india and ask you if you want chocolate around valentine's day and they'll ship it to you because they have distribution centers in america that ship the chinese-made chocolate to your fat wife okay so now Charlie's a gazillionaire, babillionaire.

Speaker 52 He's a zillionaire, and he's flying his helicopter and landing on a yacht where he has sex with underage women and then cuts their throat at the point of orgasm and throws them over the yacht.

Speaker 43 And then they all die in the ocean, which is also pollution.

Speaker 50 And he's sitting at the top of the factory.

Speaker 52 And all of the umpalumpas are working at Panera and they're strung out.

Speaker 80 Okay?

Speaker 66 Follow me here. Don't start with me.

Speaker 84 All these strung out umpalumpas are like,

Speaker 8 fuck, what's the deal?

Speaker 81 And they ask Charlie about this.

Speaker 71 They say, Charlie, why did you do this?

Speaker 67 And he comes back, he wipes the blood off himself from just throwing a woman over a boat.

Speaker 8 And they said, Charlie, why did you sell the factory?

Speaker 7 Why are all the umpalumpas on fentanyl?

Speaker 5 And Charlie says, it's a shame how trans people are treated in this country.

Speaker 39 And they go, what?

Speaker 10 And he goes, it's disgusting how trans people should.

Speaker 51 And he goes,

Speaker 19 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but, but, but Charlie, the umpa Lumpas are all on fentanyl and they're eating at Panera and they're dying.

Speaker 56 And Charlie goes, well, the CEO of Unilever is a trans woman, and she's a woman.

Speaker 38 And he goes,

Speaker 8 but I don't understand, Charlie.

Speaker 11 We don't really have problems with trans people, but many of the umpa loompas are now hanging themselves with these little ropes because they have no jobs.

Speaker 39 And you're just offshore on some yacht and whatever I don't know and you're invested in all these different companies but you know we had a thing here we had a chocolate factory where we would sing and be happy and all the families would get together and they'd have a little chocolate every now and then and people used to walk around and be proud of the downtown because it was a chocolate factory and there was tourism and there was a sense of community and Charlie goes, hey, man, I'm a little sick of white guys.

Speaker 81 And you go, but Charlie, Charlie, you're like really white.

Speaker 9 You're like pale.

Speaker 189 And he goes, and I'm ashamed of it.

Speaker 82 And then he gets on his helicopter and murders another woman.

Speaker 49 And it almost feels like Charlie himself is using some of this, okay,

Speaker 98 to

Speaker 7 get people's mind off the fact that he sold his chocolate factory to a global multinational conglomerate who's offshore all of the jobs.

Speaker 80 Okay?

Speaker 66 And then then

Speaker 52 Charlie's sitting there and he's saying,

Speaker 11 Hey, man,

Speaker 8 this is just the way it is.

Speaker 67 Those umpalumpas need to diversify their portfolios.

Speaker 39 And the umpa loompa is like, wait, what?

Speaker 2 I'm covered in corn chowder at a Panera.

Speaker 95 I think people are trying to kill me.

Speaker 188 The lemonades caused two heart attacks this last month.

Speaker 95 And people go, Yeah, man, but you're a fucking racist.

Speaker 189 And the umpa Lumpa goes, Well, I'm not really a racist, but I just have, my life has been made horrible.

Speaker 11 I don't know how it happened, you know.

Speaker 63 I'm a third generation Umpalumpa. I'm trained in the chocolate manufacturing.

Speaker 7 And people go, yeah, whatever, man.

Speaker 106 I don't know.

Speaker 18 You just seem like some kind of Nazi.

Speaker 7 And you go, I don't know about that. I just, I don't get healthcare at this Panera.
And my wife, six, she has headaches.

Speaker 35 We don't know what they are, but they keep coming and they go, hey, man, I just don't understand like why you have to keep harping on immigrants.

Speaker 51 And you go, I don't really care about immigrants.

Speaker 52 I just, I just want some type of job.

Speaker 81 I want some type of future in this country.

Speaker 39 And they go, well, I don't know about that.

Speaker 7 I don't know about that bucko.

Speaker 27 Do you want it hot? We can make the sandwich hot.

Speaker 39 Do you want it hot?

Speaker 10 Do you want it heated up?

Speaker 28 So then someone's elected and they say, we want to bring the chocolate factory back to America, but it's complicated.

Speaker 124 Well, why is it complicated?

Speaker 64 Well,

Speaker 94 fuck.

Speaker 106 Because Charlie wasn't the the only one who sold the chocolate factory.

Speaker 111 In fact,

Speaker 145 Santa Claus

Speaker 150 is no longer making the toys at the North Pole.

Speaker 41 Do you know who's making the toys?

Speaker 93 The people in Taiwan

Speaker 31 are making the toys.

Speaker 94 Fine.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 39 She go, well,

Speaker 52 Santa shut down the toy shop and it's being made by people in Taiwan.

Speaker 134 And that's fine and great for them.

Speaker 10 But what happened to the elves?

Speaker 30 Well, the elves and the oompa loompas are on the internet reading about maybe the earth is flat because they don't have enough money to take their kids to Disney World or whatever.

Speaker 90 So now we've abandoned the elves and the umpa loompas, okay?

Speaker 39 And we're yelling at them and screaming at them and wondering why they're becoming increasingly politically radical and volatile and why they're embracing pathological behavior.

Speaker 49 We don't understand it, but Santa Claus is in Miami living in a penthouse with Ken Griffin.

Speaker 61 And Santa's like, I was an early investor in Citadel and I've always believed in Ken.

Speaker 24 And that's lovely and nice for Santa.

Speaker 52 He goes, ah, the toy business ain't what it used to be.

Speaker 65 And Santa's just sitting there in Bowell Harbor in a seven-bedroom, seven-bathroom condo overlooking the ocean, maybe at the Oceana.

Speaker 28 I don't know, who cares?

Speaker 31 But Santa's sick of the cold. He likes Miami because there's no income taxes and there's plenty of Latin American women that he can ogle.

Speaker 39 So Willy Wonka

Speaker 62 gave the factory to Charlie, who gave it to Unilever.

Speaker 71 Santa gave the toy shop to Taiwan.

Speaker 67 The Oompa Loompas and the Elves have been left to fend for themselves.

Speaker 38 And they are all working at Panera.

Speaker 43 So then Donald Trump goes, I want want to bring the chocolate factory and Santa's workshop back.

Speaker 7 But the problem is that our entire economy is based on the fact that everything we consume is made by child slaves.

Speaker 71 That's why it's also goddamn cheap.

Speaker 60 Why do you think it's cheap?

Speaker 39 You think it's cheap?

Speaker 11 Because people that these factories, Fox Connant, they're not good at Amazon either.

Speaker 67 You're not allowed to use the bathroom.

Speaker 188 The whole thing is a nightmare because in order for maximum productivity, you have to treat human beings like they're,

Speaker 8 you know, slaves, like they're indentured servants, like they don't have any autonomy or agency.

Speaker 49 And the way to do that is to destroy any type of union and any type of community that these people had.

Speaker 108 Oh my God, trying to make progress with my finances has been a real problem.

Speaker 111 That's why I'm using QIIME.

Speaker 112 Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 118 That's why when you set up a direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more.

Speaker 96 Chime is banking done right.

Speaker 79 Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees.

Speaker 120 Get paid up to two days early when you set up direct deposit.

Speaker 130 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals.

Speaker 75 To date, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion.

Speaker 135 Open a checking account with no monthly fees, no maintenance?

Speaker 92 not to mention access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs, more than the top three national banks combined.

Speaker 141 I mean, Chime is the best.

Speaker 19 The Chime futures I love most, I love getting paid two days early with direct deposit.

Speaker 147 24-7 customer support comes in hand because sometimes I'll have a question at three in the morning about my direct deposit.

Speaker 150 It's so amazing that they can answer it then.

Speaker 152 I'm working on my financial goals through Chime today, and I suggest you do as well.

Speaker 5 Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash Tim.

Speaker 23 That's chime.com slash Tim.

Speaker 154 Chime, feels like progress.

Speaker 155 Ah, greetings from my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 161 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

Speaker 165 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 167 I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

Speaker 170 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body.

Speaker 173 Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

Speaker 175 Save the offer in the app.

Speaker 176 N1231, see PayPal.com slash promo terms.

Speaker 179 Points give your renee for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval.

Speaker 180 PayPal Inc.

Speaker 182 and MLS 910-457.

Speaker 186 So these tariffs

Speaker 82 are maybe probably

Speaker 90 long-term, potentially good, but maybe in the short term, they're going to be absolutely a mess.

Speaker 84 And maybe long-term, it won't even work either.

Speaker 76 I don't know, and I'm not an economist.

Speaker 43 What I do know

Speaker 45 is that the people who've hollowed out the country, who've shipped the jobs elsewhere, who turned their back to child slaves while tweeting about social causes they happen to like and find important,

Speaker 8 those

Speaker 8 people

Speaker 66 are now very spooked

Speaker 48 because the economy is a scam and a fraud.

Speaker 44 And now

Speaker 57 we don't know what to do.

Speaker 45 And I'm not saying it's going to be good.

Speaker 52 I'm not saying you're going to be able to go back to the oompa Loompa chocolate factory because these Oompa Lumpas have a lot of tattoos now.

Speaker 39 No one loves that.

Speaker 31 You know, it's just too many tattoos.

Speaker 147 It's like, what is this? What are you doing?

Speaker 26 And the Oompa Loompas are upset and the Elves are upset.

Speaker 90 And, you know,

Speaker 51 so we're gambling the gambit here,

Speaker 8 the gamble that Trump's probably staking his entire presidency on is that he can get people like Charlie.

Speaker 62 who got the chocolate factory because he won some dumb ticket, okay?

Speaker 39 And his sick grandpa and him wandered around.

Speaker 61 And supposedly he's a good person.

Speaker 94 Is he?

Speaker 51 What happened to the women on the yacht?

Speaker 96 Few of them didn't make it back.

Speaker 52 So what we're saying here, and I'm doing this, by the way, in front of Congress.

Speaker 20 I'm workshopping this here, but I'm doing this in front of a joint sesh.

Speaker 15 I'm doing it in front of a joint session of Congress.

Speaker 147 I actually am.

Speaker 76 Have I explained to you what's going on?

Speaker 49 I hope I have, and we're trying to go back to the good old days or what we thought was the good old days.

Speaker 58 And maybe they were never the good old days, but they were better days for working-class Americans than they are now.

Speaker 16 And it's hard.

Speaker 61 Our economy is run by

Speaker 15 intelligence agencies and international criminals.

Speaker 90 Do you understand that?

Speaker 58 That there is no such thing as an economy.

Speaker 31 Stop it.

Speaker 72 It's fake.

Speaker 80 It's fake.

Speaker 8 So they can arrange it and make it do whatever it wants.

Speaker 55 You go, what's that apartment?

Speaker 52 $200 million?

Speaker 57 No, it's it's not.

Speaker 67 It's fake. It's all fake.

Speaker 90 It's money laundering.

Speaker 66 It's criminality.

Speaker 7 It's blackmail.

Speaker 66 It's the intelligence agencies and a lot of their friends high up in finance and tech arranging the world in ways that allow them to win.

Speaker 11 They're trying to eliminate human beings.

Speaker 7 It's just what it is.

Speaker 95 These tariffs might be a mess.

Speaker 8 These tariffs are probably economically bad, short-term, potentially long-term.

Speaker 66 But when we talk about the economy, understand what we're talking about.

Speaker 43 We're talking about an international

Speaker 91 system where criminals thrive at the expense of human beings, a class of biological entity they'd like to eliminate as soon as possible.

Speaker 18 I don't even want to get into how much the intelligence community controls the economy.

Speaker 91 That's a whole nother episode.

Speaker 18 I know more about it than I should.

Speaker 145 I've spoken to some very smart people about it.

Speaker 10 Okay?

Speaker 64 They're everywhere.

Speaker 31 And I'm not saying that in a paranoid way, but what I'm saying is like, yes, it is an international, interdependent system.

Speaker 17 Yes, our cars are made with parts that come from Canada.

Speaker 20 Yes, iPhones are made with parts that come from 100 plus countries.

Speaker 7 Yes, it is an interconnected, globalized world.

Speaker 76 But don't forget who's benefiting the most from that.

Speaker 31 We have a limited social safety net in this country.

Speaker 45 We don't have healthcare.

Speaker 18 We don't have retirement.

Speaker 109 We don't have a lot of these things.

Speaker 45 We don't guarantee a lot of standard of living for people.

Speaker 7 We have 401k plans, and some of them got beat up, and that does suck, 1,000%.

Speaker 66 But we've thrown the American working class, as a lot of people have said, we've threw them out in the cold.

Speaker 52 And these tariffs are a way to try to wrestle that back.

Speaker 19 I don't know if it'll work.

Speaker 128 I don't know what happens if you open the chocolate factory again.

Speaker 13 I do know that in the chocolate factory now, you have luxury condos

Speaker 39 that people are living in they live in the chocolate factory

Speaker 67 five blocks away from the chocolate factory there are people oding on the street

Speaker 61 but they clear those bodies up so you don't have to step over them as you get into the chocolate factory the chocolate factory for example has

Speaker 186 dark wood

Speaker 99 The color palette of the chocolate factory condo, ironically enough, is kind of chocolate.

Speaker 43 They have milk chocolate wood or dark chocolate.

Speaker 38 Which color palette do you want?

Speaker 24 You've made your money in finance.

Speaker 43 That's a $21 million

Speaker 186 industrial loft in the chocolate factory.

Speaker 4 And it's owned by the daughter of a Chinese amusement park tycoon who's rarely seen.

Speaker 56 She goes there with a few of her art school friends to do Coke.

Speaker 52 I'm describing the world.

Speaker 39 Pay attention. I don't have time.

Speaker 35 You understand me?

Speaker 17 I have to go to Vegas

Speaker 34 trying to play baccarat.

Speaker 20 Like God says, coming to the hotel I'm staying at.

Speaker 92 I could give him money.

Speaker 128 I just paid for his school.

Speaker 20 I thought he was Chinese.

Speaker 191 Then they go, oh, he's Filipino.

Speaker 121 It's like, what are we doing?

Speaker 20 Why is he in a Montessori?

Speaker 16 He's Filipino.

Speaker 147 He goes right to work.

Speaker 113 It sounds racist, but it's not.

Speaker 172 Actually, it's not.

Speaker 84 And they're going to shoot, they're going to kill Luigi,

Speaker 7 whatever his name is, Penne Alavodka.

Speaker 11 They're going to kill Mangion.

Speaker 11 And they're going to kill Luigi Mangion,

Speaker 67 not only because he's hot, but because he shot this guy

Speaker 28 and he had a lot of popular support because people are like, I'm sick of watching my family die because they're broke.

Speaker 18 I'm sick of watching people die.

Speaker 17 that don't live in the chocolate factory condo for $20 million, that don't have concierge doctors, that don't have medicine.

Speaker 20 I'm sick of that. And maybe Mangion is not the perfect mascot for this.
Maybe Mangion was just a hot guy who couldn't fuck, who got mad and shot a guy. I don't really know.

Speaker 45 Maybe that's what it's shaping up to be.

Speaker 43 Is he the hero you want? No.

Speaker 10 No one's the hero you think they are.

Speaker 77 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 7 Doesn't matter.

Speaker 11 We're trying to turn back the clock with these tariffs, but what I'm trying to tell you is it's going to be very difficult.

Speaker 16 It's going to be very hard.

Speaker 39 The world isn't the world by accident.

Speaker 67 Nothing developed the way it did out of happenstance.

Speaker 26 It has been a takeover for a very long time.

Speaker 52 People have been sold the idea that freedom is the ultimate thing in life.

Speaker 43 Most people want communities, families, and security, but we've supplanted, we go, freedom, you can have all the jobs or none of the jobs.

Speaker 51 You can do whatever you want and live wherever you want. You can invest in anything you want.

Speaker 26 Isn't it great?

Speaker 84 You can deliver food and you can Uber and have an OnlyFans and a blog and a podcast.

Speaker 71 You can do it all.

Speaker 79 You're a media entity.

Speaker 39 You are who you've been waiting for.

Speaker 57 You don't need anybody else.

Speaker 37 You can go to school online or offline or a brick and mortar, whatever you like.

Speaker 7 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 91 You can team up with a bunch of people and start a YouTube channel where you review architecture from old houses that are now abandoned and that crackheads live in because we ship the chocolate factory away.

Speaker 13 You have all the freedom in the world, but none of the security, none of the benefits.

Speaker 105 We've given you all the freedom, all the pretend freedom that you wouldn't know what to do with, and it's not designed for you to actually use.

Speaker 47 Donald Trump,

Speaker 31 here's the thing, and I'll get in trouble for saying this.

Speaker 83 I don't know if this will work,

Speaker 123 but he's not wrong.

Speaker 20 I don't know if it'll work, but he's not wrong.

Speaker 145 I passed the chocolate factory the other day,

Speaker 33 and it is silly to think about that kind of America coming back.

Speaker 67 It's why we started with the newsies and the this and the that.

Speaker 20 And it is funny, and it is silly.

Speaker 60 The idea of people having a job and security.

Speaker 44 It is

Speaker 20 silly to think about.

Speaker 106 It is funny.

Speaker 4 It is strange.

Speaker 7 But we've given you freedom and we've taken everything else away.

Speaker 31 We're a scam-based economy.

Speaker 83 Do I love the Trump crypto shit?

Speaker 69 Absolutely not.

Speaker 7 Do I love some of his new tech friends?

Speaker 105 We know how I feel.

Speaker 31 I'm not going to be the ad nauseum guy that annoys everybody with it.

Speaker 43 But I'm telling you right now, we're selling you freedom,

Speaker 145 but we're not really selling you freedom.

Speaker 28 The word we're selling you

Speaker 16 is chaos.

Speaker 183 You're mistaking freedom for chaos.

Speaker 18 You think that you are free to do anything you want, but you're free to gamble.

Speaker 62 You're free to hedge your bets.

Speaker 77 You're free, chaos, disorder, confusion.

Speaker 37 That's what we mean by freedom, a manic attempt to survive.

Speaker 11 Your spiritual life, your emotional well-being, your mental health, your sexual sexual health.

Speaker 41 All of these things are suffering because you're scrambling to survive and put money in your bank account.

Speaker 45 But we've convinced you that that's an actual great state of being.

Speaker 42 That insanity, that mania is great.

Speaker 26 We've sold it to you as Americana.

Speaker 52 We've sold that to you.

Speaker 38 Now that is a part of America.

Speaker 61 A lot of people, myself included, I have an addict brain.

Speaker 11 I got into comedy.

Speaker 144 It's worked, but for years it didn't.

Speaker 68 I started making money at 35.

Speaker 10 I'm now 40.

Speaker 135 I've had five years of earning money.

Speaker 8 I had a 10-year career before that where I didn't earn any money.

Speaker 2 Didn't earn a lot of money.

Speaker 21 It was me and Stavros performing at Joe List's thing, and we loved it.

Speaker 43 And by the way, it was the most fun in the world.

Speaker 109 So I don't regret any of it.

Speaker 125 It was actually a lot of fun.

Speaker 61 There are people that are going to just want to take risks and do crazy things and, you know, whether they pan out or not.

Speaker 67 I was very lucky.

Speaker 7 I was lucky. I was able to do it.

Speaker 41 I had to, I wasn't, you know, I didn't have to.

Speaker 7 I mean, I had a good enough health to do it.

Speaker 20 I mean, I'm not a triathlete, but I had good enough health to do stand-up.

Speaker 42 What I'm saying is that

Speaker 36 this idea

Speaker 37 that the stock market runs our lives,

Speaker 33 that chaos

Speaker 154 is freedom,

Speaker 31 and that you have to be in a manic state of reinventing yourself.

Speaker 29 This entrepreneurship horseshit that has been sold to you as if a business is better than a family, as if an empire is better than truly knowing who you are as a human being.

Speaker 40 It's essential to sell that to you so that Larry Fink and BlackRock can steal everything.

Speaker 24 And that's why they pump all these gurus that tell you how to make money and steal and all this bullshit.

Speaker 78 And I'm not against money and I love money and no one who says they don't love money is true.

Speaker 82 But understand where it comes from.

Speaker 17 Donald Trump is fucking the economy up, but he's not wrong.

Speaker 61 Those two things are both true.

Speaker 39 I'm sorry for you to hear that.

Speaker 43 I know a lot of people don't want to hear it.

Speaker 17 He's fucking it up right now, but he's not wrong.

Speaker 10 If you were to look at what's happened to the country, if you were to look at the economic and cultural malaise that the working class has felt, something has to be done.

Speaker 7 Is it realistic to get them all back into factories?

Speaker 43 I don't know.

Speaker 11 I don't plan to be, I'm not claiming to be an expert here, but what I'm telling you is

Speaker 39 at the end.

Speaker 45 At the end of the day, if Larry Fink and BlackRock are telling you something is good for you, you know, the company that bought all the houses?

Speaker 106 It's probably not.

Speaker 39 If they're selling you freedom, but they're giving you instability, they're giving you chaos, they're telling you that the gig economy is great.

Speaker 7 Did Larry Fink comes out and says you should invest more money.

Speaker 185 Don't save it.

Speaker 21 Invest it, gamble,

Speaker 45 give it to me, give it to us.

Speaker 20 And he came out and he said that

Speaker 7 if he's out there telling you

Speaker 128 that you're being too cautious or responsible with your money,

Speaker 145 you know there's a reason for it.

Speaker 108 Oh my God, trying to make progress with my finances has been a real problem.

Speaker 111 That's why I'm using QIIME.

Speaker 112 Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 118 That's why when you set up a direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more.

Speaker 96 Chime is banking done right.

Speaker 79 Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees.

Speaker 25 Get paid up to two days early when you set up direct deposit.

Speaker 130 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals.

Speaker 75 To date, CHIME has spotted members over 30 billion.

Speaker 135 Open a checking account with no monthly fees, no maintenance?

Speaker 92 Not to mention access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs, more than the top three national banks combined.

Speaker 141 I mean, Chime is the best.

Speaker 40 The QIIME futures I love most,

Speaker 143 I love getting paid two days early with direct deposit.

Speaker 147 24-7 customer support comes in hand because sometimes I'll have a question at three in the morning about my direct deposit.

Speaker 150 It's so amazing that they can answer it then.

Speaker 152 I'm working on my financial goals through Chime today, and I suggest you do as well.

Speaker 5 Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash Tim.

Speaker 23 That's chime.com slash Tim.

Speaker 154 Chime feels like progress.

Speaker 155 Ah, greetings for my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 161 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

Speaker 165 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 167 I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

Speaker 170 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body.

Speaker 173 Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

Speaker 175 Save the offer in the app.

Speaker 176 NS1231, see paypal.com slash promo terms.

Speaker 179 Points can be renewed for cash more paying for subject to terms and approval.

Speaker 180 PayPal Inc.

Speaker 182 and MLS 910-457.

Speaker 108 Oh my God, trying to make progress with my finances has been a real problem.

Speaker 111 That's why I'm using Chime.

Speaker 112 Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 118 That's why when you set up a direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more.

Speaker 96 Chime is banking done right.

Speaker 79 Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees.

Speaker 25 Get paid up to two days early when you set up direct deposit.

Speaker 130 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals.

Speaker 75 To date, Chime has spotted members over 30 billion.

Speaker 92 Open a checking account with no monthly fees, no maintenance, not to mention access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs, more than the top three national banks combined.

Speaker 141 I mean, QIIME is the best.

Speaker 40 The QIIME futures I love most,

Speaker 143 I love getting paid two days early with direct deposit.

Speaker 147 24-7 customer support comes in hand because sometimes I'll have a question at three in the the morning about my direct deposit.

Speaker 150 It's so amazing that they can answer it then.

Speaker 152 I'm working on my financial goals through Chime today, and I suggest you do as well.

Speaker 5 Open an account in two minutes at chime.com/slash Tim.

Speaker 23 That's chime.com/slash Tim.

Speaker 154 Chime, feels like progress.

Speaker 155 Ah, greetings from my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 161 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

Speaker 165 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 174 I used it to get this portable spa with jets now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body make the most of your money this holiday with paypal save the offer in the app ends 1231 see paypal.com slash promo terms points can be redeemed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval paypal ink at mls 910457

Speaker 29 i'm not saying these tariffs are going to work i'm not saying these tariffs are good

Speaker 17 but i don't think we can run a country Where we turn all the chocolate factories into high-end condos that are sold to the daughters of Chinese amusement park tycoons

Speaker 135 who only go every now and then to do Coke with their art school friends.

Speaker 58 Art, by the way, a lot of it, fake.

Speaker 91 I'm just saying,

Speaker 42 Santa's in Miami.

Speaker 33 The elves are working at Jamba Juice,

Speaker 40 making smoothies.

Speaker 33 It doesn't work for a long time.

Speaker 77 The middle falls out.

Speaker 20 People feel disconnected.

Speaker 121 You usher them into cyber bubbles where they can only live through the internet.

Speaker 31 They can only express their emotions.

Speaker 18 And the only freedom they really have is to go on X or Instagram and post.

Speaker 72 We tell them it no longer makes sense to own a house.

Speaker 37 Why would you own a car?

Speaker 61 Just Uber, just rent.

Speaker 43 Just be somebody online.

Speaker 72 That's all we need you to do.

Speaker 39 We don't want you to own land. We do not want you to own a car.

Speaker 4 I don't know if these tariffs are going to work.

Speaker 37 What I know is that the world that was ushered in by Charlie, who let down Willy Wonka because he sold that factory to Unilever,

Speaker 39 does Unilever

Speaker 53 advertise on this show?

Speaker 147 I better watch my mouth.

Speaker 11 I don't think they do.

Speaker 55 Look at that.

Speaker 126 Look at that. I want you to look at that because I'll tell you what Charlie's seeing.

Speaker 121 He's looking at that golden ticket. You know what he's seeing?

Speaker 192 He's seeing an invitation to the party.

Speaker 192 That's what little Charlie's seeing.

Speaker 128 He goes, one day I can wear a goat head and stomp around in the forest of California and kill people.

Speaker 42 You know what Charlie's seeing?

Speaker 4 He's seeing a $38 million penthouse in Monaco where they have no income tax and no property tax.

Speaker 112 I did think about moving the studio there.

Speaker 20 Charlie's thinking about a yacht where he can disappear Ukrainian women after he's done with them.

Speaker 7 Charlie is not seeing in that golden ticket what you think he's seeing.

Speaker 17 You think he's seeing the pride of owning the factory, the children getting the treats, the softball team, the family.

Speaker 183 Charlie's not seeing any of that.

Speaker 45 He's thinking of how quickly and he can sell this company right out from under the oompa loompas who've stirred those pots of chocolate.

Speaker 147 And all Charlie wants to do is go on MSNBC with CIA director John Brennan and talk about how deeply ashamed he is at racism or something or whatever ism they're going to focus you on instead of the fact that the umpa loompa in Panera was just shot by a child.

Speaker 20 The umpa loompa in Panera just got shot in the face by a child.

Speaker 76 So what does it all mean?

Speaker 145 The answers aren't.

Speaker 146 The answers aren't apparent.

Speaker 108 Oh my God, trying to make progress with my finances has been a real problem.

Speaker 111 That's why I'm using QIIME.

Speaker 112 Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 118 That's why when you set up a direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more.

Speaker 96 Chime is banking done right.

Speaker 79 Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees.

Speaker 25 Get paid up to two days early when you set up direct deposit.

Speaker 132 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals to date chime has spotted members over 30 billion

Speaker 138 open a checking account with no monthly fees no maintenance not to mention access to over 47 000 fee-free atms more than the top three national banks combined i mean chime is the best

Speaker 40 the chime futures i love most

Speaker 143 I love getting paid two days early with direct deposit.

Speaker 147 24-7 customer support comes in hand because sometimes I'll have a question at three in the morning about my direct deposit.

Speaker 150 It's so amazing that they can answer it then.

Speaker 152 I'm working on my financial goals through Chime today and I suggest you do as well.

Speaker 5 Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash Tim.

Speaker 23 That's chime.com slash Tim.

Speaker 154 Chime, feels like progress.

Speaker 3 Ah,

Speaker 155 greetings from my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 161 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

Speaker 165 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 167 I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

Speaker 170 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body.

Speaker 173 Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

Speaker 175 Save the offer in the app.

Speaker 176 NS1231, see paypal.com slash promo terms.

Speaker 179 Points can be renewed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval.

Speaker 180 PayPal Inc.

Speaker 182 and MLS 910-457.

Speaker 12 Three teenage girls

Speaker 105 try to stab their mother for turning off the Wi-Fi.

Speaker 16 That's where we're at.

Speaker 93 That's where we're at in this country.

Speaker 24 Three teenage girls tried to stab their mother for trying to turn off the Wi-Fi.

Speaker 113 Let's watch a little bit of this.

Speaker 184 Well, three teenage girls are in custody tonight after police say they planned to kill their own mother. And they say that it's all because their mom turned off the Wi-Fi.

Speaker 184 It happened overnight on Barker's Crossing near Barker Cypress in northwest Harris County. That's where we find Fox 26's Jade Flurry on this disturbing story.

Speaker 164 Jade.

Speaker 193 Well, fortunately, the Harris County Sheriff's Office says that the teens' mom was not seriously injured after her own daughters tried to stab her with knives.

Speaker 193 And we spoke with some nearby neighbors who tell us that disturbances happen frequently at the family home.

Speaker 157 They're known for that in this neighborhood. There's always cops around the house.

Speaker 195 A family dispute turned violent.

Speaker 194 The Harris County Sheriff's Office says a mother was assaulted by her own teenage daughters for turning off the Wi-Fi. Authorities allege the girls then plotted to kill her.

Speaker 195 The three teens, ages 14, 15, and 16 years old, accused of grabbing kitchen knives and chasing their mom throughout the house and into the street.

Speaker 195 A nearby neighbor says they were returning from the rodeo when they saw the family in the driveway.

Speaker 159 All right. Moments later.

Speaker 91 The country is clearly very sick, and we have lots of problems.

Speaker 192 These are the problems.

Speaker 146 The kids are trying to kill the parents for turning off the Wi-Fi.

Speaker 146 I don't think that's good.

Speaker 151 Do you?

Speaker 5 So in summation,

Speaker 4 I don't know how this is going to play out.

Speaker 146 Nobody knows how it's going to play out.

Speaker 189 What I've just described to you is as accurate a vision of the world as I can.

Speaker 126 That's the world as it is. That's what it is.

Speaker 58 Charlie.

Speaker 134 The chocolate factory condo, the yacht in Monaco with the Ukrainian women who disappear,

Speaker 20 and the Chinese amusement park tycoon's daughter who does Coke occasionally with her art school friends.

Speaker 114 That's what it is.

Speaker 11 There's not a ton more to say.

Speaker 4 How do you wind the clock back

Speaker 10 so that the Yumpaloompas are walking happily into the chocolate factory?

Speaker 27 I don't know.

Speaker 27 I don't know.

Speaker 7 But I know that Charlie

Speaker 132 is just

Speaker 16 a guy

Speaker 150 who was once a kid,

Speaker 146 who once remembered how good it was to eat chocolate and how fun it was to get a chance to visit the factory

Speaker 106 before he became a vicious Marquis de Saad murderer who killed Ukrainian women on a yacht in international waters.

Speaker 106 While he earned the money off his Unilever deal,

Speaker 106 was he born like that?

Speaker 7 Or was he born a good kid?

Speaker 135 Did we turn him into that guy?

Speaker 109 Did we turn him into a guy who lands helicopters on a yacht just so he can stab a few women?

Speaker 150 Was there another version of Charlie?

Speaker 114 Is it religion? Is it politics?

Speaker 53 Is it culture?

Speaker 34 Is it all things?

Speaker 147 That's all I'm asking.

Speaker 29 At what point did Charlie go wrong?

Speaker 130 At what point did Charlie forget that he was part of a larger picture and that we all

Speaker 34 owe it to ourselves to look outside of ourselves?

Speaker 33 Okay?

Speaker 106 Go to the end of Williwonka.

Speaker 40 Go to the end of it because it's important.

Speaker 7 These things are important.

Speaker 145 This is what

Speaker 146 the tariffs really mean.

Speaker 113 Let's watch this.

Speaker 125 Let's watch this a little bit.

Speaker 196 Mr. Wonka? I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
I just wanted to ask about the chocolate.

Speaker 196 The lifetime supply of chocolate for Charlie.

Speaker 196 When does he get it? He doesn't.

Speaker 196 Why not?

Speaker 86 Because he broke the

Speaker 27 little bits when it gets good.

Speaker 30 Fundrolls.

Speaker 86 Because we know he tricks every

Speaker 115 He tricks them

Speaker 196 in a weary world.

Speaker 190 Go to the end where they get up in that thing.

Speaker 93 Here he is.

Speaker 44 Here he is.

Speaker 91 Here he is.

Speaker 19 He goes, now this, Charlie, is London.

Speaker 106 And then Charlie looks at it and he goes, one day, we'll kick all these people out of these fucking houses.

Speaker 40 We'll kick all these fucking lazy scumbags out of these houses.

Speaker 45 And we'll turn them into condos and brothels.

Speaker 149 You can see see it in Charlie's eyes.

Speaker 60 He goes, and they'll just be houses where people live stream all day.

Speaker 18 And all these people will die.

Speaker 7 And we'll import people from other places that'll do the work cheaper.

Speaker 22 And they'll make the chocolate.

Speaker 20 And then eventually we'll just sell the whole goddamn factory.

Speaker 18 And anyone who complains about this will be called a Nazi.

Speaker 7 But I'll be on a yacht in Monaco having just filleted a Ukrainian woman like a fish because that's the only way I can come.

Speaker 42 My name is Tim Dylan.

Speaker 183 This is the Tim Dylan show.

Speaker 128 I have a special on Netflix April 15th.

Speaker 119 This probably isn't for everyone, this content.

Speaker 61 I understand that, but this is as good of a job as I can do.

Speaker 8 You can go to the Stern School of Business, you can go to UPenn.

Speaker 127 What I just did is more valuable than both of those institutions.

Speaker 16 Bye.

Speaker 108 Oh my God, trying to make progress with my finances has been a real problem.

Speaker 111 That's why I'm using Chime.

Speaker 112 Chime understands that every dollar counts.

Speaker 118 That's why when you set up a direct deposit through QIIME, you get access to fee-free features like overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more.

Speaker 96 Chime is banking done right.

Speaker 79 Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees.

Speaker 25 Get paid up to two days early when you set up direct deposit.

Speaker 130 With qualifying direct deposits, you're eligible for free overdraft up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals.

Speaker 75 To date, Chime has spotted members over 30 billion.

Speaker 92 Open a checking account with no monthly fees, no maintenance, not to mention access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs, more than the top three national banks combined.

Speaker 141 I mean, QIIME is the best.

Speaker 40 The QIIME futures I love most,

Speaker 143 I love getting paid two days early with direct deposit.

Speaker 147 24-7 customer support comes in hand because sometimes I'll have a question at three in the morning about my direct deposit.

Speaker 150 It's so amazing that they can answer it then.

Speaker 152 I'm working on my financial goals through Chime today, and I suggest you do as well.

Speaker 5 Open an account in two minutes at chime.com/slash Tim.

Speaker 23 That's chime.com/slash Tim.

Speaker 154 Chime, feels like progress.

Speaker 155 Ah, greetings from my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 161 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

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Speaker 167 I used it to get this portable spa with with jets.

Speaker 170 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body.

Speaker 173 Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

Speaker 175 Save the offer in the app.

Speaker 176 N'1231, see paypal.com slash promo terms.

Speaker 179 Points give you renewed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval.

Speaker 180 PayPal Inc.

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Speaker 197 Gun violence isn't just a policy issue. It's personal.
Every day in America, 125 people are shot and killed. For too many, it's left a mark.
And for all of us, it's a crisis we can do something about.

Speaker 197 Every Town for Gun Safety Action Fund is the largest gun violence prevention organization in the U.S. We've helped pass life-saving laws and built a nationwide grassroots movement.

Speaker 197 You believe in progress. So do we.
This is your moment to act. Go to everytown.org and donate today.
Together, let's build a future free from gun violence.

Speaker 198 Everytown.org.

Speaker 155 Ah, greetings from my bath, festive friends.

Speaker 161 The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four.

Speaker 165 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 167 I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

Speaker 170 Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body.

Speaker 173 Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

Speaker 175 Save the offer in the app.

Speaker 176 N1231, see paypal.com slash promo terms.

Speaker 179 Points give you redeem for cash and more pay in for subject to terms and approval.

Speaker 180 PayPal Inc.

Speaker 182 at MLS 910-457.

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