437 - Leaked Group Chats & Door Dash Debt

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Great to be back with you here.
Lots of fun being had by all. Great episode with Andrew Schultz out.
If you haven't seen that yet, you should check that out. A lot of people enjoyed it.
Thank you for the kind words What is going on With the These group texts I'm telling you I'm telling you And I've told you before I'll tell you again Get out of these group texts They are fucking you up They're fun when you're 23.

As you get older, you have to extricate yourself from the group text, by the way.

You have to severely limit your, or rather people's access to you as you get older. It's not a free-for-all anymore.
It can't be. For your own sake, for your own safety, for the sake of your own mental health, you cannot just have unlimited access to you.
You have to, it can't be, your phone cannot be going off every minute of every second. It will not work.
You must limit the exposure. There's always someone in a group text who's way too into it.
There's always someone in it who's not into it at all. There's always someone side texting you.
There's always someone weirdly offended in a group text about something. And you're like, no, the whole point of a group text is to talk all kinds of shit that would get us thrown in jail if it were to ever leak.
That's the point of a group text, but it's not fun. It's evidence.
It's mountains and mountains of evidence on somebody's phone. Someone's always showing the group text to other people that are not in the text.
I mean, there's legendary group text. I've been a part of some of them, but at the end of the day, you got to get yourself out of them.
You have to get yourself out before something like this happens. It's bound to happen.
Now, I don't even know what this was. I don't even know if I believe what this is, that the National Security Advisor, this guy Mike Waltz, added Jeffrey Goldberg of The Atlantic to a group text where Vance, Gabbard, Hegseth, and others on Signal were talking about military plans.
Number one, why am I not in it? Why am I not in it? I'm friends with two of those people. I'm friends with Vance and Gabbard.
Why am I not in the text? I could be hilarious in it. All the time I'd be funny.
And I wouldn't add anyone into it. Apparently, this journalist Jeffrey Goldberg at the Atlantic, who's a massive, you know, critic of the administration is in this group text on signal and they're all texting the plans for the, uh, where, where, what are we even? The Houthis.
We're bombing the Houthis and I'm bullish on that. I like that because the thing about the Houthis is no one really cares.
We're not committed. We're not going to be.
The thing about we need to bomb someone. We need it.
We need it now. We've needed it.
We need it. We'll need it in the future, always and forever.
We need to be bombing someone. We just need to.
There's nothing to do if we're not. There's nothing to do if we're not.
The Pentagon's got a budget of like a quadrillion dollars. What do you do when you sit down to work on Monday morning? If you are not launching an attack at someone, there's genuinely nothing to do.
There's nothing to do. If you're not at war with someone somewhere, you gotta be.
And the Houthis are a decent target because they move around a lot. They're on the sea.
They're disrupting trade. They're doing things.
They're like lovable little scamps. I mean, they're not lovable per se, but one of them, that hot one was, remember the hot one they compared to Chalamet, that guy.
And they're doing a lot of stuff on social media, the Houthis. I think that's what they're mostly doing.
I think they're just posting really. I think they're more social media stuff than anything else.
That's what they're really doing. They're out there like a tag, tagging shit.
It's like old school graffiti, fuck you down with Israel, stuff like that. I don't know what they're actually doing.
Yeah. There's the hot one.
There's a Chalamet one, you know, but that's, that's where we're, we're, we're focusing our attention is like blowing the shit out of them because they are fucking some stuff up on the sea for like the Chinese and for us. And they're backed by Lebanon, I think.
They're a militia, but not officially. Hezbollah is the real Lebanese militia.
And the Houthis are, oh, they're backed by Iran. and they're part of the axis of resistance.
Good. God is great.

Death. militia.
And the Houthis are, oh, they're backed by Iran. And they're part of the axis of resistance.
Good. God is great.
Death to, God is the greatest. Death to America.
Death to Israel. Curse be upon the Jews.
Victory to Islam is the main political slogan of the Houthi movement. So they're out there and they're, you know,

some would say that's extreme.

Some would say that view is extreme.

And we're bombing them because they got to get bombed.

You can't pop shit like that and not get bombed.

You have to get bombed.

That's our job.

As much of a past, I don't want to be in a war, but I want people to get bombed. That's our job.
As much of a pass, I don't want to be in a war, but I want people to get bombed. That's the fact.
And if you don't like it, then fuck you. I want people to get bombed because without that, they will piss in our face.
We have not made a good movie in fucking forever. We have nothing going on.

We have to bomb people to just get attention now. There's nothing left.
There's nothing left here in this country. So that's it.
And if people pop shit, they have to get bombed. But we shouldn't commit troops.
We shouldn't, no regime change.

Stop building malls there.

None of that works.

Just bomb them from the skies.

Rain hell on them.

Whatever.

It's fine.

They want it.

They want it.

That's the whole point of it all.

They do that. We do that.
It's a whole thing. It needs to happen.
No one's suggesting that it's not happening. Everyone in this government's doing it.
We'll do it. Bernie, AOC, you, you listening, if you were in it, everyone would do it.
There's nothing else to do. not what would you do you'd get to the government you'd go you go to the government you order lunch they go all right that'll be here in about 45 you go cool you wash your hands a few times you then you're going to start drone striking people there's nothing else to do there is not one other thing to do at all except steal a little money from old people.
But, and that's, they're running out of that. So you have to bomb people.
And you got to talk about it with the other people in the government because that's literally your job. There's nothing else to do.
Where's Frank? I don't know. We're bombing the moon.
And you go into the text and you go, we're triangulating on their position. We're going to bomb them.
And then you eat a salad. You're eating a salad while you're doing this.
You're texting the group chat about the bombings.

The bombings, because there's no other way.

Don't even imagine.

Don't even entertain there being another way.

There's no other way.

So you're bombing them, and you're sitting at your desk,

and you're just ordered.

And literally, you look at your secretary and go, what is that salad I like?

It's Mediterranean. it's Mediterranean it's from a Mediterranean it's Mediterranean that salad I like but I don't I don't want they put too much onion I don't want that and then she orders it for you and then in the group text you say we're gonna bomb them at uh 2 a.m our time and uh you know so here's what it says right this is what the text says vp building collapse had multiple positive id pete carilla the ic amazing job jd vance goes what i feel like he doesn't know what's going on michael was typing too fast the first target their top missile guy we had positive idea of him walking into his girlfriend's building and now it's collapsed.
J.D. Vance, excellent.
CIA director, a good start. Some other guy, Michael Waltz, fist, flag, fire.
Good job, Pete and your team. Michael Waltz, the team in MAL did a great job as well.
SM, great work, all, powerful start. Pete Hegseth, might be drunk.
CENTCOM was, is on point.

Great job, all. More strikes ongoing

for hours tonight. We'll provide full initial

report tomorrow, but on

time, on target, and good readout

so far. Susie Wiles, Trump's chief of staff.

Kudos to all, most particularly

those in theater and CENTCOM.

Really great. God bless.

Steve Witkoff, that real estate developer who's trying to

organize the Middle East peace deal. Prayer hands, muscle, two flags.
TG, great work in effects. It's a group chat.
It's all it is. It's people at work.
It's their job. That's all it is here.
It's not, I'm telling you. The problem with everything now is that people are convinced that everything is really interesting.
And it has layers of meaning and everything. And I'm a conspiracy guy.
And I've even, I don't even think it's that interesting anymore. I think there's things that are interesting.
Like there's evil people doing horrible things, largely for money and control and power, and to satisfy their Machiavellian urges and sexual desires and whatever. But this is just a group chat of people at work.
And this is what the American government does, which is just bomb people constantly all day, every day. And what are we not going to bomb them? They're fucking with us.
They're doing shit. So we're going to bomb them.
Trump's right about that. Trump knows.
Throw the bombs. Because otherwise no one's doing anything.
There's nothing to do. The government is not even real unless we're bombing something.
It's not even a real thing. Like, yes, do I agree with all the Elon firings? No, I think some of them are sloppy.
But here's the reality. A lot of it's just not even real.
Like, these people don't have jobs that don't even exist. They're not even real, and they're being paid for by tax dollars to create these things that aren't real, that don't exist.
So in order for our government to exist, we have to start bombing people. And then people are going to talk about it.
It's just like if you worked, you know, if you worked at Chipotle, is it the L-E at the end? Because some people pronounce it the other way. I don't, I agree.
It's Chipotle. You're texting about, you know, oh, fucking, you know, fucking She's a cunt that dirty bitch People are going to get sick when she touches Their food and stuff Because that's that business They hire some skank Who's touching the food And you and your friends are in a group text Talking about what a dirty hoe she is that she's touching the rice.
That's this. That's what this is.
There isn't more to this. And then people are like, oh, well, people could have found out.
Well, so what? So what? Would anyone be shocked if they found out that we were bombing people? I don't understand. I mean, yeah, I guess it's bad.
Because then the people, we're going to bomb them. And you're saying, oh, yeah, but our enemies could have found this out and tipped them off that they were getting bombed.
Yeah, maybe. So we bomb them again.
We would just bomb them again. This should be public.
This should not even be in a text. That group text should just be on Fox News as the one that goes, you know, whatever it is on the bottom of the channel, it should just be that.
Strike drones on target. Can you imagine all the boomers going nuts, getting excited, just sitting in their living rooms, eating lemon cake that their daughter brought them from Starbucks, and they're just going, going, the bombs are dropping.
They're dropping a bomb. That's just all people.
People just want to get involved. People just want to be involved.
I'm not outraged by this. What are we outraged about? Did everyone just realize we dropped bombs on everyone? Or did people text about it? It's their fucking job.
That's all it is. There's nothing...
Like, imagine a job review. He goes, what are you guys doing? And they go, oh, we're just, are you not bombing anyone? No.
What are you doing?

What

are you doing?

Well, we got together and reviewed

the intelligence and

well, we

we found out that

yeah, and we

we're going to bomb them. Right.

That's all there is. There's

nothing else to do. That's the whole reason the government exists.
That's it. It's to give people Social Security so I guess they don't have to eat cat food or whatever.
And to bomb people. I just like these Houthis.
I think this is good to bomb because we can't go to war with Iran. It's just sticky and messy.
And they have allies like China and Russia, but no one cares

about the Houthis. The Houthis are an expendable group of people who are just out there.
And Iran doesn't really care about them. They just go, yeah, fuck shit up.
And then you'll get bombed by America. And Iran's like, I'm going to bomb us and bomb you.
And the Houthis, this is all part of the show and part of the fun.

You need groups

like this. Al-Qaeda,

the

ICE. The Houthis, this is all part of the show and part of the fun.
You need groups like this.

Al-Qaeda, the ISIS.

You need them.

You need these groups of radical psychopaths who do stuff and then we bomb them.

It's the only thing truly that we really understand. Everything else is kind of this weird black box of like, what are we doing? This is cut and dry.
They pop shit on social media. They're all on social media popping shit.
They're talking mad shit. And we're just bombing them.
What are they doing in the Suez Canal? They're fucking around there in the Suez Canal? Yeah, because as much as we talk about it, we can't go fuck up Greenland. All those people are white.
So we're not going to go kill a bunch of white people in Greenland. What are we going to go into Denmark and start throwing clogs around? It's not going to happen.
We got to bomb these people, the Houthis, because they're somewhere in the sea. How great is that? They're just in the sea starting shit.
I love Helix. Everyone in my life goes, what are these beds? Why are they so comfortable? And I go, because they're Helix.
It's the best. Go to helixsleep.com slash Tim D.
I mean, listen, here's the deal. People with the Apple watches, they go, oh, my God, I'm sleeping better.
All of these things. People are like, my back pain has gone away.
The night sweats, all of that. I'm telling you right now, everyone that comes to my home, the Midnight Deluxe is my favorite one, but there's a lot of them.
There's a bunch of different ones. I like firmer mattress, but you might not.
You might go softer. You know, you got to take their quiz.
It's so quick. It's so quick.
You take a quiz and then they go, this is the right mattress for you.

I mean, God, I'm telling you, there is no product that people ask me about more than the Helix mattress. Literally none.
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These are the best amount who wants to go mattress shopping. What are you a pervert? You and your girl are going to go lay down in a mattress store.
What's wrong with you? You're sick. You're sick.
Imagine that. If like your partner goes, your woman, your man goes, let's go to the mattress store and we can lay on a bed in front of people.
They're sick. Take the quiz online.
You get them delivered to the house. Cut the nonsense.
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Speaking of bombs, this Snow White, get this Zegler video up. These movies, you got to stop making these big budget movies, by the way.
You have to stop doing it. You have to stop with these big budget movies.
A Hollywood reporter just came out and said, Gen Z is no longer watching this type of entertainment. They're all watching social media creators, YouTube, whatever.
Now, by the way, the Hollywood reporter came out with that last week. They should have written that article in 2012, but they're behind.
That should have came out like 2014. It came out last week.
They're like, do you know that Gen Z is, they don't value this stuff. They like the internet.
It's like, guys, how behind are you? But they're all invested in believing that big bloated corpse of an industry is going to continue. They have a mutual investment in it.
Part of is that, that they come up with these movies like Snow White, they ruin the movie. And then you have this bitch.
I mean, these are the, when actors and actresses talk, you realize that they're the biggest losers in the world. Now, the reason that we can tolerate that is because we don't know that they read words written by other people and all of their appearances are carefully managed and choreographed.
But when they go off book and they start telling us who they are, we realize they suck and we hate them. And that's what's really destroying Hollywood.
Sure, there's a million reasons. But the biggest thing, these people, when just given the chance, completely fuck everything by talking.
And if they would just shut their mouth, no one is asking these people to talk. No one is pleading with them for their opinions on anything.
No one cares. But they feel compelled because they're watching the people on the internet talk and get a following being authentic or being themselves or being some version of themselves or whatever.
That being said, these people go oh I'll do that I'll weigh in

and they make a big mess. And everybody hates it.
Now let's watch Rachel Zegler here. It's just, it's cocky.
It's humorless. It's everything wrong with everything.
Let's watch it. And to everyone who hates when I win.
Oh, my God. The wined victory came to the Louvre in pieces.
What? And people still line up to see her. Oh, no.
And I can only hope that despite my flaws and despite my cracks and my breaks, and there are many of them, that at every premiere and everything I do, people will wait in line to see. Yeah, I mean...
Someone has to put her in a cage. Someone has to put her in a cage.
I mean, there's no other way to say it. She should not be allowed out if she's going to behave like this while she has a movie out.
You have to put these people in a cage. If you are not, if you cannot keep your mouth shut, you have to get locked in a cage until we put a lot of money into this film.
We put a lot of money into this film, and if you cannot participate in the promotional rollout, we're putting you in a cage. We're locking you in a room until you learn how to be, with all my flaws, with all my flaws, I hope at every premiere, people by take, they're all crazy, they're all psychotic.
It's insane. They're all little Hitlers.
Despite my flaws, I hope at every premiere, it's like, I mean, just it's the, in the, they're always acting. They're not humans.
They're not people. They, they, they, they must be put in a cage for their own good, for their own good.
Here's the guy whose dad produced a movie. You really want to do this? Yeah, my dad, the producer of enormous piece of Disney

IP with hundreds of millions of dollars on the line,

had to leave his family to fly across the country to reprimand

his 20-year-old employee for dragging

her personal politics into the middle of promoting

the movie, which she signed a multi-million dollar

contract to get paid and do publicity for.

This was called adult responsibility and

accountability, and her actions clearly hurt the film's

box office. Free speech does not mean you're

allowed to say whatever you want in your private employment

without repercussions. Tens of thousands of people

worked on that film, and she hijacked the conversation of her own immature desires at the risk of the... Blabbity blue.
But here's the point. He's right.
Shut up. In the thing.
You're Snow White. You're not gonna save gaza i i'm not saying she's wrong about everything she says i don't know what she i don't care but you're not gonna do it you're just snow white and it's fake you're actually not even her she doesn't exist.
You don't have any powers to save these people

who are hurting. And this idea that you, like, need to speak up, it does, it's not, you don't.
You actually don't. You can just shut the fuck up.
You can keep your mouth shut immediately.

That's what I would say. I would say the movie's coming out now, and I would get everyone in an office, and I would say, hi, so we spent all this movie on Snow White.
We spent all this money on this movie Snow White, and it's about to come out. And if you open your mouth at all about Gaza, okay, or about trans suicide, I'm going to come and I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to come to your house and I'm going to kill you. Do you understand that? I'm going to come to your house and I'll kill you.
If you talk about trans kids hanging themselves or Gaza in the middle of the Snow White rollout, the production, here's what I want you to talk about. I love the movie.
It's beautiful. What a story.
And I'm so glad we get to retell it and reintroduce it to a whole new generation of children.

And then I know you're going to want to say more.

I know you're going to want to say more.

And you're going to go,

and speaking of children,

and I'm going to go,

shut up.

Shut up.

Speaking of children,

shut up. Andrew Tate, they're saying he strangled his girlfriend at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
I was there that week. I heard nothing.
If he sends me crypto, I'll be a character witness for him. Truly, I'll be a character witness for him.
If he sends me crypto, I will say I was there.

It didn't happen.

She's a liar.

I hate lying.

Okay.

Yeah.

One of Andrew Tate's girlfriends has accused of self-proclaimed misogynist of choking her so hard during rough sex inside the Beverly Hills Hotel

that she later alerted authorities.

Oh, enough. You're very lucky to get choked at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
You're very lucky to get choked at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think it's a little, you know, the entitlement that people have, that ain't a cheap room.
That ain't a cheap room to get choked at in when you were getting choked at the beverly hills hotel you were getting choked at one of the top properties on the planet i don't know why he doesn't go to dubai i don't know what he's getting into here this is not going to be good for him. Go to Dubai.
Go to Dubai. Choke in Dubai.

I don't understand.

I don't understand why you wouldn't just go choke people in Dubai.

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That's T-R-Y-A-R-M-R-A dot com slash Tim. I'm telling you right now, everyone I know, including myself, we're just focused.
You're dialed in with this. You're dialed in.
It's like an update on the phone. It's like you're updating your phone and you're like, whoa.
Because you start, and you're like this.

You're like, that's how most of us are going through life,

like snuff.

But then you take this and you're like,

ninja sword, kill everyone.

All right.

Tufts University graduate student grabbed off the street

by federal immigration officers.

This is part of this new push to, like, disappear these people that were participating in these campus protests. Let's take a look at this.
I'm not for this. I also am not for, I wasn't, let's go, let's, no one asked, no, I didn't vote on letting any of these people

into the country.

No one did, by the way.

But I'm certainly not for removing people that have a differing opinion.

That is free speech.

I don't think that's the right way to go.

Do I think it's a problem that we have a lot of foreign students in America and we don't

care about the American ones?

Yes, absolutely I do.

But let's watch this

disappearance.

Disappearance. Is this being done for America or for Israel? I mean, this is a fair question.
Is the United States government now just taking edicts and orders from Israel? I think it's a fair question to ask. Does anyone feel safer with this woman off the streets? Is this the American government's,

is this what people voted for when they elected Trump

is to have a country taking orders from Israel?

I don't think so.

And now, again, I'm not,

I'm sure me and this woman would disagree on lots of things.

And I'm very, very much a proponent of strict, tight immigration controls. But she's a legal U.S.
resident. She participated in pro-Palestinian protests as a legal U.S.
resident. Her arrest follows the White House's crackdown on what is classified as anti-Semitism on U.S.
campuses. What is this? And does anyone feel uncomfortable with this?

Does anyone feel weird that anti-Semitism

can now get you deported

if you are a legal U.S. citizen?

Is that odd?

What other isms are coming?

I just don't, I don't understand this.

I think people that commit crimes, it's a different story. But to speak out against an ally of America should not be grounds for someone to be deported.
And we look right now like we are doing this at the behest of Miriam Adelson and the big billionaire donors that have been very good to both parties in America. I couldn't think of anything that would feed Jewish conspiracy theories more than this, by the way.
I could not think of it. If you wanted Jewish conspiracy theories to kind of, I don't know, slow down.
I don't know if this was helping. I don't know.
If you think Israel has too much influence in our country, is this helping correct that belief?

Asking. Just throwing it out there.
Would this be the way if people say to you, hey, Israel runs America through donors and you say that's silly and absurd and ridiculous. Does this happening make people more or less, do they dig their heels into that belief more or less? That, by the way, remember when for like four years you could say anything about white people anything kill them how about we genocide the whites fuck white men they should die let's deny them health care but there was a few campus protests for like a month and now they're like deporting students.

There was, but there was like years and years of shitting on Whitey. And then no one really cared.
No one's getting deported. What about the people that said negative things about, I don't know, other countries.
I mean, will you get deported if you criticize, if you're racist against Filipinos? Because I have been. And it's only because my godson, they told me he was Chinese because he was so little, I couldn't tell.
And I said, I will pay for his school. And then now he's Filipino.
But I didn't know that at the time. And I would not have gotten involved.
No shade. I just want high end.
Chinese, Japanese. That's it.
Now, I don't live in fear of being deported because I've said things about Filipinos.

And I don't think I've even said anything terrible.

But does it seem odd to anyone that people are being put in detention for being anti-Semitic. Is that good? Do we think that's good? I don't know.
I'm a gay person. If someone was homophobic, I wouldn't want them deported.
I don't... Is that grounds for deportation? If someone said I hate gay people, I'd say, okay.
But I don't, is that grounds for them to be deported? Doesn't this feel like it's going to a bad place? Does it feel good? Does it feel good? It feels a little bit like we're doing this at the behest of billionaire Israeli donors. No? Yes? Perhaps? I support Israel's right to exist.
I don't agree with a lot of these kids at the colleges with a lot of what they're saying. I think they're silly.
They're kids. Some of them have some points, but a lot of them are saying things that I too would disagree with.
The colonization crap and the blah-blah-blah-blah-blah and the this and the that and stolen land and the land acknowledgement and America's this and that. I don't have any time for that.
I don't have any time for that. This land was stolen fair and square.
You steal it back. Idiot.
It's the way land is transferred. It's called stealing it.
How do you think land people get it? You steal it. Okay? But I just think, you know, because I try to calm these conspiracies down.
I have some anti-Semitic friends. I'm going to be very honest with you.
I'm going to be very honest with you. I have, I don't know.
I don't even know how many. I wouldn't, I would say, I would say not a ton of them.

Not a ton of my friends.

But a chunk of them.

Or anti-Semitic.

A chunk of them.

Not a ton of them.

65%.

65%.

Or maybe anti-Semitic.

65%.

Mildly. 65.
70%. 70% of my friends are anti-Semitic.
And I tell them, I sit down with them, I go, you're wrong about, you're wrong. You're wrong.
It's not the way you think it is. But things like this, I don't know.
It's hard for me because I'm always trying to correct them. They go, don't you think, and who's the other guy? Mahmoud.
Bitch. Not even for political views.
I just, I don't like most people.

I just think, and who's the other guy, Mahmoud Khalil?

I'm anti-immigration.

I'm Young Bannon.

That's my rap name in the underground scene.

But I think we need to chill it out. Let's get Americans up.
Everyone's up. Everyone's not up.
Lots of people are down. And we gotta get them.
I'm not for bringing but look at this bitch. Am I scared of this bitch? Let's get that up.
I don't love I mean I don't We're deporting her Let's hear what Marco Rubio says Now the reason I like him is because he was gay And he went to foam parties in Miami. I read it on a thing.

Get it up.

Let's go.

That's where you're in the foam and you jerk someone off in the foam.

Keep going.

I'm sorry.

It's the Secretary of State, Marco Rubio.

When you're in the foam, you can suck someone in the foam.

Secretary of State.

We revoked our visa.

He went to a bar where they would put foam in the back of it and people would fuck in the foam.

Marco Rubio, Secretary of State.

We revoked her visa.

We gave you a visa to come and study and get a degree.

Not have opinions about their jobs.

During the campaign, President Trump promised...

Is that Miriam Madelton? Interesting. She looks like a Sacha Baron Cohen character.
Yeah, listen, and I went to one of these encampments and everyone took photos with me and was very nice to me. Protests on campuses where some Jewish students reported being harassed and assaulted.
If you hate America... Yeah, I just, listen.
I don't think I don't think that we should be kicking these students out and I don't like them, but let's I'm just saying if we want to correct this idea that Israel has too much influence and power in this country, if we want to correct it, stop it dead in its tracks. Okay? If we want to shut that down, I think this is the wrong way to do it.
It's the wrong way to do it. Because I have friends, and they're wrong about it.
And then I tell them, and they say to me, they go, go Israel has too much their lobby is too strong and too powerful and it's actually causing the United States government to do things that are not good and then I go yeah well show me some facts and then they go do that and I go, And I will always love you. I will always love you.
I will always love you. And then I say, what were you saying? I didn't hear you.
I was singing I Will Always Love You by the late, great Whitney Houston. But Dolly Parton first, let's be honest.
Figure it out. Figure it out.
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Eastern time. United Kingdom outlaw outlaws a non domicile tax law.
United Kingdom has announced it will scrap a 225 year old rule that has allowed many of his richest residents to pay hardly any taxes on their vast foreign earnings. You live in the UK, you have the business in somewhere else, Kazakhstan, India,

whatever you're making money. They want you to pay taxes in the UK.

Smart people who I disagree with all the time,

like Scott Galloway and Kara Swisher out there going, Scott Galloway's going,

well, a lot of my friends are leaving the UK because you're, and I go, yeah,

yeah, yeah. Because they're being taxed and they,

they don't want to pay these taxes. So they're leaving.

And I'm sure that's true, but also Scott, but don't you understand why you can't create something that isn't a country? None of those people feel they're not living in the UK because they cared all about the culture of England. They see it only as a financial opportunity.
And when Steve Bannon says that's no good, you all go, he's a fascist, Nazi racist.

But the reality is, if you look at a country as only an economic zone, then if taxes go up, you get the fuck out. this is why you can't destroy a common culture

and replace it with a

financial architecture

so that people are only participating in an economy and not an actual country that has an actual culture. I'm not saying these taxes are just or unjust.
But if taxes are the only policy you're thinking about in a country, I'm not saying they're unimportant, they're incredibly important. But this idea, these are the same people that when I listen to them, they talk endlessly about the dangers of nationalism, the dangers of seeing a country as a nation that has a distinct history and culture.
Does it mean that it's racial? Does it mean that it's religious? It shouldn't be, but it's a distinct idea of what a culture is. And the idea that the UK has completely thrown that out.
They don't care about it at all. It is, they opened their door, London opened their doors,

they said every billionaire,

every oligarch, every, come on in.

That's why I disagree a little bit

with the Trump's, the golden visas,

where it's like 5 million you spend,

you buy the visa.

People that are spending that kind of money,

yes, they have the financial wherewithal

to be here in America,

maybe they're creating jobs and opportunities.

I'd be for it if, like it was like, build a factory here, you get citizenship, or invest a certain amount of money here, you get citizenship. But the reality is rich people just existing in a country doesn't necessarily make it better unless they feel some connection to it.
If they don't feel a connection to the country at all, and it is simply a landmass, when taxes go up, they'll leave. And the people that Galloway's talking about, because my friend's going to live in Spain or Italy or whatever, wherever they're fleeing to or going because they don't want to pay the taxes.
It's, yes, are the taxes silly, ridiculous? Perhaps. You have high taxes there.
But one of the reasons that this is very easy for people to do is just go, goodbye, is because the super rich no longer care about any nation state.

It does not matter to them.

Their only loyalty is to a financial system that they can suck as much money out of as they can.

It's lovely in Italy.

It's fine in France.

And, you know, they'll make it work.

They'll figure it out.

They're going to live well wherever they go.

So you have to stop seeing any discussion of nationalism and of culture

as some type of Hitlerian dog whistle.

It's not.

It's absolutely not.

We can discuss the merits of Hitler.

It's a different conversation. I'm kidding.
But the point is this. All these people that don't seem to understand what happens when you take away a culture, whatever that culture happens to be, people think culture is all race or all religion.
A lot of it is customs and traditions, civic institutions, expressions of, you know, the way people celebrate holidays and seasons and whatever. And when you destroy, and some of that's based in religion, some of it's based in race, not all of it.
People from all over the world celebrate holidays. People from all over the world celebrate certain civic milestones in, in, in a specific ways in specific countries.
It might be having a siesta, you know, it might be like whatever culture is, but when you import people from all over the world who don't respect the culture of an area and don't care about it, doesn't mean anything to them, they are only there to suck money out to put their kids in good prep schools that you cannot afford to send your kids to. And then the minute it gets harder for them to exist, they get up and leave.
They get up and leave. So, you know, I think there has to be a recognition and an understanding of the fact that, like, while we shouldn't be deporting the chick at Tufts, you know, because that's not what we should be doing, we also need to let her know that she's not here to make America into whatever she thinks it should be.
That's the reality. Sorry, you're not here to do that.
Just like my grandparents weren't here to do that when they came from Ireland. They were here to exist within a culture and do very well and be very,

they were very six.

My grandfather was very successful in that culture because he came and

embraced it.

And that's what people should be doing.

They come here from other places.

And she kind of was embracing our culture,

like throwing tantrums and kind of being somewhat fat. But I do think there's got to be a non-racist way to say, just shut up and be like us.
There has to be a non-racist way to say, you have to act like everyone else. There has to be a non-racist way to say you have to act like everyone else.
There has to be a non-racist way to say stop being different. There has to be a non-racist way to say enough with your own bullshit.
Fall in line. I went to a furniture store the other day and a guy said to me, that table's 80 grand.
I said, well, let's weigh out of my budget. He goes, it's rosewood.
It's Brazilian rosewood. He goes, you can't get rosewood anymore because they won't allow the trees to get cut down anymore because of the deforestation and the whole thing.
He goes, so people will pay so much for fucking real rosewood. That's what it's about.
It's not about the Middle East all the time. You know, it's not.
It's about that life is precious and rare rare and fleeting so we shouldn't be uh disappearing these people because i don't want to keep having these arguments with my friends where they're like everyone in the government is is like crazy is honest and i'm like that's not true i'm like name are. And then they start to do that.
And I'm like, I come from a land down under. You know, it's just, I don't want to have to keep having these conversations.
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie. They're like, are you going to listen or not?

I met a strange lady.

She made me breakfast or made me nervous.

She took me in and gave me breakfast.

I don't know.

Is this a dangerous person?

You know, are her ideas maybe not great?

I don't know.

Yeah, it's probably a lot of Kill Whitey in there.

She's probably got a lot of Kill Whitey going on.

You know?

But I don't think we should throw her in the truck.

Make her work at the mothership.

Make her work at the mothership.

Don't deport these people. Make them work at the mother.
don't deport these people make them work at the mother

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People are now paying for DoorDash with installment loans. This is the

hell we're in. This

is the hell that the economy's

gotten to. Eat now, pay

later. DoorDash Klarna deal

fuels concerns about loans for

takeout. These

fatty boon battys cannot afford a crunch wrap. They are literally putting it on layaway.
The food delivery app and the installment lender say they're offering a flexible alternative to high interest credit cards. Some social media users and advocates see it as a sign of hard times.
Yeah, it's a sign of hard times if you're financing a panini yeah of course it is of course it's who are the people who don't see it as a sign of hard I love how they're like some people think it's a sign of hard time yeah everyone anyone that you would tell this to thinks it's a sign of hard time who's celebrating this who thinks it's a good idea that you would tell this to Thinks it's a sign of hard time Who's celebrating this? Who thinks it's a good idea That you have to pay for a burrito In installments? I mean Who thinks that's great? A Klarna spokesperson Acknowledged the online pushback But said any form of borrowing for food purchases Is potentially concerning the circumstances. Quote, if people are in a situation where they feel like they have to put their food on credit, that's a bad indicator for society.
The spokesman said, still many people make, quote, a rational decision to use BNPL services to help manage their money. The spokesperson said, adding that the new features would be available only for DoorDash purchases of at least $35, a few dollars more than the platform's average order as of last March.
Wherever high-cost credit cards are accepted, consumers should be able to choose a zero-interest credit product instead. Indeed, industry-wide data shows the short-term loans have become a routine feature of many consumers' wallets, particularly among young adults coping with inflation.
So here's what they're saying. Order at least 35, and then you can pay.
So not only are they incentivizing financial irresponsibility, they're incentivizing being a pig. That's what they're doing.
They go, get the cake. Get the piece of cake for $6.99.
It's going to take you over $35. Then you charge this whole thing.
You finance it. You finance the whole thing.
Get extra. Get another sandwich.
You might want another sandwich.

It's fine.

Keep the more

food you buy,

the better

deal you get. You could just finance it.

Who cares?

A spokesman for DoorDash didn't comment

on the criticism of its partnership with Klarna, saying

their collaboration provides even more flexibility,

control, and options.

The delivery service noted that its

users can already pay with Venmo and Cash App, as well as

Thank you. the criticism of its partnership with Klarna, saying their collaboration provides even more flexibility, control, and options.
The delivery service noted that its users can already pay with Venmo and Cash App as well as government aid, including Snap Benefit. DoorDash doesn't care.
It's not their job. DoorDash goes, listen, man.
They're a middleman. DoorDash is a middleman.
They're a middleman. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, piggy pigs, burrito there,

you here. We got a guy

gonna get it to you.

Well, it's what it is.

They're not making four payments

to cover three tacos on Tuesday. Sounds

complicated because it is, said Adam

Russ, director of financial services at the

Consumer Federation of America and

Advocacy Group. I wouldn't characterize

this as a solution. It's a fintech innovation

Thank you. Complicated because it is, said Adam Russ, director of financial services at the Consumer Federation of America and Advocacy Group.
I wouldn't characterize this as a solution. It's a fintech innovation that creates problems.
Hey, Adam, fuck off. We're hungry and broke.
Fuck you, Adam. So what? Why not? Charge it.
Fuck it. People will go, why'd you go bankrupt? You go DoorDash I ran up I owe $80,000 to DoorDash We're going to run into that People are going to go I owe $70,000 to DoorDash Because I charged food for the last three years To survive And I can't do.
Now I'm on disability because I've eaten so much DoorDash, I can't even participate in the workforce. So now I'm in a scooter that needs to be paid for by disability.
And I owe $75,000 for DoorDash. But by the way, a lot of people, and I get it, I've been in that position where you just don't have the fucking money.
People don't have the money. You know? That's what it is.
People need to eat. They don't have the money.
You know, I mean, what are you going to do? You could go to a store, I guess, and cook it. That's not American.
It's not American. Think about being broke and cooking, how depressing that is.
Think about being poor and in your kitchen with the thing like this, with the pan. It's not American.
America is about being a delusional psychopath. It's like, that's what it's about.
It's not about being a rational person. America's about being a nut job all the time.
So, like, you order burritos. You charge them.
You scream and yell in your house. You live stream to know.
I'm fucking. You coach.
You become a life coach. You tell them that they don't know.
Be like like It's all about the hustle It's all about the grind They can't see that you're living in squalor Your own filth You know You're like Yeah Fuck yeah man I'm gonna fucking crush you today Monday Coffee Yeah I got the coffee I got the coffee And then You go nuts And then you you order a burrito, and then you charge it, and then you fucking completely, you're 40 grand in debt, you try to change your name, you cut your cock off, you throw it in the street, you become trans. You're like, I don't owe that fucking money.
You go, I think you do. And you go, stop deadnaming me.
You attack a TSA agent, you bite him in the neck at LaGuardia. That's what being an American is.
It's not making eggs in Europe. What? That's not it.
Being an American is about going into debt, developing an alternative persona, becoming trans, and then attacking a TSA agent on drugs. Get up Dank DeMoss.
Get up Dank DeMoss. Dank DeMoss is all of us.
All of us are Dank DeMoss. They came for Dank DeMoss and I said nothing.
And then... And then...
Then no one let me in a car when I became 600 pence. Dank DeMoss.
This is the evidence. She's showing that she can get in a car.
I she goes. That's what America's about.
Showing someone I can get in a car. Don't you dare deport Dank DeMoss.
Don't you dare deport Dank DeMoss. I don't care what she says.
That's an American person. She's already been approved for the DoorDash card.
She has a gold card. She's platinum.
Dag DeMoss is platinum. DoorDash.

Platinum.

Yeah, get a little heat.

Let's hear a little heat.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Young DoorDash! I've been chosen again. If she wants more, she a fan.
If I lose $20, I'm just gonna up shit again. I be mentoring these bitches when I rap and make sense.
Bitch, I made it on my own. Y'all had to suck three dicks.
I ain't jumping for these niggas and I stand on that shit. I can outsmart a killer and a scary bitch.
It's a beautiful country. Get it out of here.
It's a beautiful country. It's a beautiful country.
It's a beautiful country. And why shouldn't you be able to door-dash a burrito in this country? In this country? Why not? They're door-dashing burritos while bombing people in a group text.
Why would you not be able to do that? TimDillacomedy.com. We have no shows on sale.
Fuck off. New special coming out April 16th.
Shooting a crazy promo for it. This weekend, we moved our Raleigh dates to May because we're shooting an insane promo this weekend.
I'll just say it's one of the awesomest things ever. And it'll come out special on Netflix.
Really great, great time. We had the mothership.
This is a special I'm proud of. I really love it.
And thanks to Joe Rogan for letting me doing it, for letting me do it. Thanks for, you know, obviously letting us use the club.
Thanks to everyone who came out. It was an amazing weekend of shows.
And that'll drop April 16th on Netflix.

The streaming service, Netflix.

We'll be back out on the road, you know,

late this year, early next year,

in some theaters and having some fun.

But, you know, we'll just be hanging out on the internet

and we appreciate everybody.

And let's have Dank DeMoss play us out a little bit here.

Dank DeMoss.