394 - Donald Trump & Cracker Barrel

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Speaker 27 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show,

Speaker 27 recording minutes, maybe hours after Trump

Speaker 27 convicted on all 34 counts of falsifying business records in the hush money

Speaker 27 trial with Stormy Daniels, the

Speaker 27 porn star that Trump

Speaker 27 was plowing. And he

Speaker 27 paid off this woman

Speaker 27 with

Speaker 27 some dirty money.

Speaker 27 And this has been the trial that he's been going through. I,

Speaker 27 full disclosure, live a few blocks away. I have a home a few blocks away from the,

Speaker 27 I don't live there. I don't live anywhere.
So I'm going to say that immediately because that,

Speaker 27 people always say to me, they go, where do you live? It's like, why do you, what is that

Speaker 27 what is that it's like a crazy question people go where do you live um

Speaker 27 i'm like i don't know man

Speaker 27 i'm figuring it out like i'm figuring it out

Speaker 27 um

Speaker 27 but trump i have a condo that i occasionally go to a few blocks away from the courthouse

Speaker 27 Where they delivered this conviction, which was not a huge surprise because it is New York and

Speaker 27 Trump was probably guilty. I don't think anyone imagines that he wasn't guilty.
I think here's why people are upset about this and here's why

Speaker 27 I think ultimately this helps Trump. This is my analysis.

Speaker 27 Most people

Speaker 27 know Trump's kind of a criminal. He's been open about it.
That's kind of why people like him. He goes, I game the system.
I'm rich. I get away with shit.
I do what I want. I pay people off.

Speaker 27 He said that. He came out and said it.
He's like, I pay people off. I play the game.

Speaker 27 That was very refreshing. Dave Chappelle did that monologue on SNL talking about how groundbreaking it was that Donald Trump came out and was like, hey, yeah.

Speaker 27 You know why I know how corrupt everything is? Because I'm the guy. I'm one of those people who's been

Speaker 27 doing it for years.

Speaker 27 I get it. So I don't think anyone's, I don't think there's anyone out there that's like, would Trump have paid off a porn star? Would he have done that? Would Trump have,

Speaker 27 I think everyone knows that. I don't think anyone cares.
I don't care.

Speaker 27 I think paying people off is fine, to be honest, to shut up. I don't think that's a big problem morally.
Of all the ways you could get someone to shut up,

Speaker 27 you have killing them, threatening them,

Speaker 27 blackmailing them, paying them off is by far the best way

Speaker 27 to get them to shut up.

Speaker 27 It is by far the least of all the things

Speaker 27 in our political system.

Speaker 27 I mean,

Speaker 27 the three dudes at Boeing who were like, hey, maybe there's a crack in the goodbye. They're all gone.

Speaker 27 How nice would it have been if they just got hush money? It's not even that

Speaker 27 like

Speaker 27 no one's horrified that someone paid somebody else off to shut up.

Speaker 27 I think

Speaker 27 people don't like the idea.

Speaker 27 that in an incredibly corrupt system

Speaker 27 where you have almost everyone that you

Speaker 27 are aware of in the political sphere in this country is some kind of criminal. Everybody is some kind of criminal.
It's why they are there. We all know that.

Speaker 27 It's why they got elected in the first place. They are some kind of criminal.

Speaker 27 Everybody in the political system at a high level at one point or another has looked the other way or has paid some kind of hush money to somebody.

Speaker 27 It's just a fact.

Speaker 27 I mean, everybody

Speaker 27 has done it and we all know that.

Speaker 27 And the people that don't do it and the people that refuse to do it are flushed down the toilet. They get rid of them.
They get rid of them.

Speaker 27 It's just the way things work.

Speaker 27 And I think people get angry

Speaker 27 at what they view as an inherent,

Speaker 27 like, contradiction

Speaker 27 when you have

Speaker 27 the federal government

Speaker 27 and now the state government, but this is the federal government in New York. I believe.
This was federal. I believe.

Speaker 27 But it also could have been the state. I'm unsure.

Speaker 27 It was federal. It was in federal.
Yeah, federal. That's what I thought, because that's where the condo that I occasionally bump into is.

Speaker 27 People are wondering. They're going, this is a politically motivated prosecution.

Speaker 27 And it doesn't mean that Trump is innocent. It means that

Speaker 27 there's zero interest

Speaker 27 in finding out any of this information about any of the other people in our system,

Speaker 27 we don't care.

Speaker 27 We don't

Speaker 27 see any of these things being applied

Speaker 27 evenly.

Speaker 27 There's zero interest. In fact, when the Epstein docs came out and Clinton's name is all over them, the whole media, they were basically like, listen.
Yes, he's in all of these documents.

Speaker 27 Yes, he's mentioned 50 times. Yes, he's been on the plane.
But that doesn't mean that he did anything that is wrong.

Speaker 27 They didn't even forget legal. They were basically like, this guy is innocent.

Speaker 27 The media's job when the Epstein docs came out was to go out and say nobody who's mentioned in these docs did anything wrong. They're all innocent.

Speaker 27 They're all innocent. And again, it's like, go sell that to your wife.
Go sell that

Speaker 27 to anybody that you're mentioned 50 times in the deposition of a human trafficking victim.

Speaker 27 So there's zero interest in that. There's zero interest in getting to the bottom of that.
Nobody really wants to get to the bottom of that. Nobody really goes like, well, that's interesting.

Speaker 27 What's going on over there? Why are all these politicians?

Speaker 27 Where are all these tapes? What happened? I don't get it. All these people that were being recorded, where are those tapes? Who were those people? Nobody really cares about that.
Nobody's really

Speaker 27 interested in that. And that's just one example

Speaker 27 of all of the things people could be interested in. Nobody's really

Speaker 27 cares, but this case

Speaker 27 is explicitly brought for the purposes of trying to get this guy on something

Speaker 27 because

Speaker 27 his popularity

Speaker 27 is amazing considering all of the issues he's had.

Speaker 27 And there doesn't seem to be any way to stop that. These trials, these cases that they're throwing at him,

Speaker 27 you know, the entirety of his presidency was Russia.

Speaker 27 And none of that panned out.

Speaker 27 You know, this idea that he was an asset of Russia. He was installed by the Russian government.
You know, none of that worked. You couldn't get him.

Speaker 27 James Comey, Robert Mueller, all these Mueller, whatever, all these guys,

Speaker 27 all these special prosecutors, nobody was able to really deliver the goods.

Speaker 27 So

Speaker 27 that's where it started. It started that he was an agent of a foreign government who got elected in an election that was manipulated by that government.

Speaker 27 And he's now in the Oval Office, and he's carrying out the agenda of Vladimir Putin and Russia. In America, that's how it started.
This is a Manchurian candidate. This is a guy that's in there.

Speaker 27 And we don't know how this happened. This happened because Russia went on Facebook and made everybody's aunt racist.
And then Trump got elected. And now he's doing the bidding of Russia.

Speaker 27 It was the beginning of it. That was the beginning.
And that went on for years. And it was all his cronies and everyone he was around.

Speaker 27 They're all beholden to Russia and Russian money.

Speaker 27 And that was the narrative. And there were people that were deeply skeptical of that on the left and the right, by the way.

Speaker 27 The far left, not the mainstream left. They were with it.
And even a lot of the mainstream right kind of went along with it. They were kind of like, well, maybe this is.

Speaker 27 Now

Speaker 27 we finally...

Speaker 27 It's years later,

Speaker 27 and what we finally got the guy on is that he paid off a porn star

Speaker 27 to keep quiet.

Speaker 27 He paid off a porn star.

Speaker 27 You know, again, if somebody, is that like a black mark on his character?

Speaker 27 Isn't that his character? Isn't that Donald Trump's character? Like, what would you think Donald Trump would be doing if you didn't even know Donald Trump?

Speaker 27 And a guy who walked by you in a pinstripe suit with golden hair on Fifth Avenue, and someone pointed to you and said, that guy paid off a porn star.

Speaker 27 You wouldn't even respond with words. You just like take a sip of your coffee and smile because it's exactly what you think that person would do.
I don't think anybody's shocked by that.

Speaker 27 I don't think anybody's like.

Speaker 27 Now, I guess.

Speaker 27 I guess this might have an effect on the election. I don't know.
People said it. When I was watching Karl Rove,

Speaker 27 who was

Speaker 27 George W. Bush's guy,

Speaker 27 he was his guy,

Speaker 27 his, they called him the architect, Karl Rove.

Speaker 27 And Karl Rove is basically like, a lot of the polls that are out say people will be less likely to vote for Trump if he's convicted.

Speaker 27 But Karl Rove also said if he's exonerated, he's Teflon.

Speaker 27 But he was convicted. I don't know

Speaker 27 if

Speaker 27 this is going to have a huge

Speaker 27 impact on the election. I know that he's going to be sentenced.
Rarely with this charge, would you get prison?

Speaker 27 I don't know if he's going to get prison. I don't know if they're going to try to make an example out of him.
I think if they put him in prison,

Speaker 27 you're going to be looking at,

Speaker 27 you know, again,

Speaker 27 his website has crashed because of donations in the last hour. People are like, again, this has galvanized the hardcore Trump people.

Speaker 27 And if he goes to prison, the Secret Service goes to, I read this earlier that they will be protecting him in prison.

Speaker 27 And as our friend, the great Ray Cump said, he might run the whole operation from the can.

Speaker 27 Like the movie Donny Brasco, when the guy goes, Rusty's running the whole thing from the can.

Speaker 27 I got Brooklyn, Sunny Reds, got Little Italy. I mean, that might be it.
Trump might be the president of the United States from prison.

Speaker 27 He might just run the country from prison.

Speaker 27 He will lose no supporters if that happens. He will gain many supports.

Speaker 27 You are going to see, I think, a surge in support. for him.

Speaker 27 A lot of people in this country have been to jail. A lot of them.
A lot of people in this country have been to jail.

Speaker 27 And I'm watching them

Speaker 27 on social media.

Speaker 27 They kind of like... There's, by the way,

Speaker 27 I'm telling you right now,

Speaker 27 if you just want to look at cool,

Speaker 27 if you want to look at who's the cooler candidate,

Speaker 27 the guy who doesn't know where he is or the guy who's maybe doing like two months in jail,

Speaker 27 the guy who's doing two months in jail is the cooler candidate. No question.
And Trump's going to go in there and he's going to act like Nelson Mandela.

Speaker 27 He's going to be his version of Nelson Mandela

Speaker 27 in prison. This is going to be the best thing that has ever happened.
to him and to memes, really, but also to him. Let's watch some of these videos.
This is outside the courthouse today. Many people,

Speaker 27 very emotional. Here's the thing about Trump: people, he's really in their blood.

Speaker 27 This is a religious experience for these people.

Speaker 27 Let's take a listen.

Speaker 29 Jesus and Lord.

Speaker 27 If you're not watching this, this is just Asians in MAGA hats crying.

Speaker 27 I just wish he was exonerated. I just want to see happy Asians.
You know what I mean? I don't want to see Asian women crying like older Asian ladies in MAGA hats crying.

Speaker 27 How fun would it have been to just see them happy? A few blocks from my occasional pied de terre. It would have been nice to see them.
Any other, we got some people getting angry there. People.

Speaker 27 This was before, yeah. Are people

Speaker 27 getting violent or what's going on?

Speaker 27 Is go up to Blacks for Trump. Yeah.
Let's see what they're, what they're up to.

Speaker 29 Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump.

Speaker 30 I am the Elamite and I'm here to defend Trump. And they're trying to, they're using the fact that they say that he's a racist to do all these lies and call him a treasonous man.

Speaker 30 And in actuality, they're accusing him of what they are guilty of. So my job is to reveal the darkness that is now trying to overtake the light.

Speaker 27 By the way, I think convicting him of this is a big mistake. I think this is going to go the other way.
I think he's going to galvanize supporters. I think this was a big mistake.

Speaker 27 We're going to listen here to Robert De Niro, who took it upon himself a day before the verdict to just have a press conference and talk about Trump and everybody shouting at him like, fuck you.

Speaker 27 De Niro, you know, is a big part of this whole area, Tribeca.

Speaker 27 The lore is, the legend is that Robert De Niro was training in an empty warehouse in Tribeca for the movie Raging Bull.

Speaker 27 And he looked around at Tribeca and he goes, God, this area is great. Why isn't there anything down here? What's going on? And it was all these empty, kind of abandoned warehouses.

Speaker 27 And then he opened up Nobu and Tribeca Grill, and he's a big real estate owner down here. And, you know, and he's become very passionate about politics for whatever reason.
He's 80.

Speaker 27 Yeah, he's up there. He's 80.
He's got a kid, a lot of kids now, right? Young kids. He just had a child, yeah.
He just had a child at 80 years old. So that's who we're dealing with.

Speaker 27 By the way, they are, all of these people are Trump. All of these people, this guy just had a one-year-old child at 80,

Speaker 27 and he's going out as he's the same,

Speaker 27 rational

Speaker 27 voice of reason.

Speaker 27 The octogenarian new dad,

Speaker 27 Robert De Niro, everyone.

Speaker 29 Democrats, you are gangsters.

Speaker 29 You are gangsters.

Speaker 28 You're your son. Fuck you.
You fucking for real.

Speaker 28 You're a new cool.

Speaker 28 You're a softie. You're a nobody.
Your movie's sucked.

Speaker 29 You're trash.

Speaker 27 Why would you, after a great, by the way,

Speaker 27 after, like, what is he trying to do here?

Speaker 27 What is this guy thinking is going to happen? Like, actors sometimes just believe they have the powers that the people write in the scripts for them. What does he think is going to happen?

Speaker 27 Like, he's going to go down to this courthouse. He's going to give this rousing speech.
And then all the people in the MAGA ads are going to turn around and go, you know, Robert De Niro's right.

Speaker 27 We've been had.

Speaker 27 Trump's a con. Bobby De Niro's right.
That guy was in Casino. He's the guy from Goodfellas.

Speaker 27 So they're all telling De Niro, your movies suck. You're washed up.
Which, by the way,

Speaker 27 it is a dose of, you know, he needs to hear that. Everyone needs to hear you're washed up.

Speaker 27 It's a fun insult

Speaker 27 to throw it like an older person because it's invariably true.

Speaker 27 There's nothing.

Speaker 27 I wanted to go down there and yell very specific. What did you do about my father? Do you need money?

Speaker 27 So you have Robert De Niro getting literally thrown around by the MAGA people, just totally getting

Speaker 27 trashed by these people.

Speaker 27 There's like a ton of cops

Speaker 27 protecting Robert De Niro from the MAGA. By the way, people are getting like lit on fire in the subway, thrown on the tracks.
There was a machete attack at the Times Square McDonald's.

Speaker 27 And all of these police are on like detail, Robert De Niro detail, protecting this old guy who's just screaming and yelling outside of a courthouse. Robert De Niro is not involved in the case.

Speaker 27 Want to remind everybody, Trump did not pay off Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro is not an employee of the federal government.
He has zero reason to be there.

Speaker 27 And then the cops are all like helping Robert De Niro across the street as he gets totally pilloried by the Trump people.

Speaker 27 It is fun, though. You know, if you've ever read Bonfire that Vanities,

Speaker 27 one of my favorite books, I'm a lifelong New Yorker. I love Tom Wolf.
And that book is about a banker. I believe it's Sherman McCoy.
Yeah. And he

Speaker 27 is driving through the Bronx and he hits a young African-American child and then thinks he's gotten away with it, but he hasn't gotten away with it.

Speaker 27 They trace it back to him because he makes a mistake when the police come and

Speaker 27 ask him,

Speaker 27 when the police come and ask him about his car,

Speaker 27 he

Speaker 27 makes this kind of

Speaker 27 mistake. He says the car is not in the building, that he's having it

Speaker 27 tuned up or something.

Speaker 27 And the police then find the car. It's pretty routine how it happens.

Speaker 27 There weren't, you know, he could have gotten away with it probably had he not made that mistake, had he just showed them the car. There wasn't really scratches on the car or anything.

Speaker 27 The point is, the book culminates in a trial where you have all these New York characters just all over the place.

Speaker 27 It becomes a big civil rights issue. You have that.
You have this guy's life. spins out of control.
It's Tom Wolfe's best book. The guy's life spins out of control.

Speaker 27 He's this, you know, master of the universe, Wall Street banker, lives on Park Avenue, has a wife. I believe he was cheating on her when he hit the kid in the Bronx.

Speaker 27 And then his life just descends into chaos.

Speaker 27 And that's kind of the vibe of this trial a little bit,

Speaker 27 except Tom Wolfe never would have been able to imagine this scene, or maybe he would have, that the president of the United States, Donald Trump, is being tried in a hush money case with an OnlyFans

Speaker 27 model named Stormy Daniels.

Speaker 27 But it's a very right out of bonfire, the vanities thing. And outside the courthouse, you have a crying Asian woman screaming.
You have blacks for Trump. You have Robert De Niro,

Speaker 27 a... Dare I say, washed up actor who's 80 years old with a one-year-old child.
And instead of being being home with that child,

Speaker 27 he's now part of the Biden-Harris campaign. And Robert De Niro is screaming in front of the court.
It is a scene. And by the way, I witnessed some of it on foot.
I did witness some of this scene.

Speaker 27 It does feel like New York at its best. It really does.
It feels like New York at its best. People going, fuck you.
You're washed up. Your movies suck.

Speaker 27 How great is that? A guy with the accent. And you know that guy loves good fellas.
You know that guy doesn't mean that. That guy loves good fellas.

Speaker 27 That guy doesn't love good fellas. What are you nuts? But he hasn't made a good fellas in a while.
And when that guy goes, your movies suck.

Speaker 27 And these people, they, you know.

Speaker 27 So Donald Trump convicted, I think, goes the other way. I'm going to make a prediction that this was a grave error.
Bringing this case

Speaker 27 was a grave error. I could be wrong.
Maybe I will be wrong. I do not know.

Speaker 27 But I will tell you this. I think people get more excited

Speaker 27 about Trump now

Speaker 27 than they have been.

Speaker 27 In

Speaker 27 keeping with older people who are about to leave the planet, just

Speaker 27 letting people have it.

Speaker 27 A guy I've always kind of liked, Richard Dreyfus,

Speaker 27 goes on a rant

Speaker 27 at a Jaws screening.

Speaker 27 Now, every year they have this Jaws Fest,

Speaker 27 and in

Speaker 27 this type of, and I don't know if this is technically Jaws Fest, but Jaws is widely considered to be one of the greatest movies ever made. And Richard Dreyfus is the star.
We all know this.

Speaker 27 Richard Dreyfus goes to a Massachusetts theater

Speaker 27 and is going to speak before the film about

Speaker 27 purportedly the movie.

Speaker 27 So

Speaker 27 instead, you have Richard Dreyfus, who's again, it's like Bobby De Niro. It's like every day is a gift at that age.
Every day is a gift. And

Speaker 27 they want to just pop off. and tell you where their heads are at.

Speaker 27 So he goes on, I wish we had this rant, but we don't have it, right? There might be video. Oh, you know, because they took it down, but hold on.
Yeah.

Speaker 27 See if you can find it.

Speaker 27 Oh, this is it. This is him walking out.
Oh, this is great. By the way, this is a real treat.

Speaker 27 Richard Dreyfus,

Speaker 27 and these people don't know what's about to hit them. He's this is the star of jaws, but

Speaker 27 he's had enough with some things, some cultural trends. And I guess this might be it.

Speaker 27 He's getting a big ovation from

Speaker 27 the people.

Speaker 27 He's got a cane.

Speaker 27 He looks good,

Speaker 27 but he's getting ready. You can feel it.

Speaker 27 You can feel it. He's getting ready to unleash.
And unleash, he does.

Speaker 27 He's about to unleash here.

Speaker 27 Stop this for a second.

Speaker 27 They had to issue an apology to people. By the way, if you see someone over a certain age speak, the theater should never issue an apology.

Speaker 27 You should never apologize for an old person or an elderly person that this is their time now to speak.

Speaker 27 Really, it may be a lot of things you don't love hearing, but there should absolutely not, the theater should not engage in like a

Speaker 27 mea copa for this guy.

Speaker 27 Is he speaking in this clip at all?

Speaker 27 I'm gonna skip to the end. Here we go.

Speaker 31 The book is called

Speaker 33 One Thought Scares Me.

Speaker 31 And it's about the fact that 50 years ago, without telling anybody,

Speaker 31 they took civics

Speaker 32 out of the curriculum of all public schools in America,

Speaker 32 which means we

Speaker 32 have have no knowledge of who the hell we are.

Speaker 31 And if we don't get it back,

Speaker 32 assuming

Speaker 32 we're all gonna die.

Speaker 27 Now here it's great. Here's what's great.
They're all still with him because it's a general vague statement. And this is what old people love to do.
And this is why I love old people.

Speaker 27 Old people right before the end of their life will always invariably make some comment about how 50 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years, without telling anyone, they took away something that we needed.

Speaker 27 And in this case, it's civics.

Speaker 27 And they are teaching forms of civics, by the way. They are teaching that.
But it's hilarious. He's like, there, and we don't, and he goes, if we don't get it back, we're all going to die.

Speaker 27 Everyone's with him because they're like, I bet he's dunking on Trump. Like, they don't know what's coming next.
This is why old people are great. They're unpredictable.

Speaker 27 They don't even really know what's going to happen. He barely knows what's coming next.

Speaker 27 So, sadly, Richard Dreyfus, we do not have him on screen saying the rant. He went on an anti-trans rant

Speaker 27 at the Jaws premiere event.

Speaker 27 And we don't have him saying that, tragically, but we do have the news story about it and the people who were affected.

Speaker 34 People started leaving the theater in droves.

Speaker 34 And that may be the reason why there isn't actual video footage of this is that people were so disgusted that they didn't even think to take out their phone.

Speaker 35 They thought about just getting out of there.

Speaker 34 Take a listen.

Speaker 35 Many people walked out, including myself and my partner. Numerous other patrons who were at the Cabot also found it unacceptable.

Speaker 35 There were scores of people filing down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk.

Speaker 27 Well, that's after he said, we have some quotes from his,

Speaker 27 he went off. From there, however, Kerry said, Treyfus went off targeting his nuts, co-star Barbara Streisand.
He began to say a lot of sexist things about her, about all all women. They're stupid.

Speaker 27 They shouldn't have any power, et cetera. Other accounts say that Dreyfus accused women of being passive, which is why the 1987 film Nuts sucked.

Speaker 27 Then he just kept going with homophobic and racist comments. He insulted the Me Too movement.

Speaker 27 Another member of the crowd said, Dreyfus, said that society, quote, shouldn't be listening to some 10-year-old who says they want to be a boy instead of a girl.

Speaker 27 Kerry then said the atmosphere in the theater quickly soured, with many booing the star and some walking out. Now, now, don't turn into an angry mob, Dreyfus told the crowd, according to Carrie.

Speaker 27 Let this guy go off. You know,

Speaker 27 the theater should not have apologized for him. They should say, Richard came in hot.

Speaker 27 That's what they should say. They should, Richard Dreyfus came in hot, and we have no regrets.
You got to live.

Speaker 27 The way you live.

Speaker 27 He's got minutes before he leaves this planet. Minutes.
And he wants, everybody's going to do that at the end.

Speaker 27 There's nobody at the end of their career who has any public persona, like any form of public life.

Speaker 27 Anyone with access to a microphone is going to do this before the end. There's almost no point to having money.
and being famous if at the end of it you can't just alienate everyone before you die.

Speaker 27 Everybody's got to get it. He's up there screaming about Barbara Streisand.

Speaker 27 This is

Speaker 27 his right.

Speaker 27 It's like De Niro's right. As annoying as they are, they are in the twilight of their life.

Speaker 27 There is nothing better than watching people that you've adored for your entire life come out and disgust you. disappoint you, enrage you to the point where you're like, get out of here.

Speaker 27 There's nothing better than that. I wish if I have a long enough career where I'm in some theater right before I die, I want to walk everybody.
I want everybody to go, what the fuck was this?

Speaker 27 I used to listen to that guy. This sucks.
Fuck you. That's the last thing I want to hear.
The last thing I want to hear is fuck you. You suck now.

Speaker 27 That's full circle in this country. That's having a career.
that comes full

Speaker 27 circle. This story interested me.
I thought this was interesting. A Utah high school football teammate turned down a summer job that was actually a covert coup

Speaker 27 attempt, I believe, in like the Congo,

Speaker 27 in the African Congo.

Speaker 27 The friend of a prominent Congolese opposition leader. And let me just say before we go into this story.

Speaker 27 I know that a lot of people, you know, with the AI images of like all eyes on Rafa and Pray for Sudan, which I've criticized because they're silly and they look like it's a new show on NBC.

Speaker 27 Tuesdays at 8, all about Rafa. Like it feels,

Speaker 27 even

Speaker 27 CNN quoted me because it does feel silly.

Speaker 27 Not to say I shouldn't be upset about those things.

Speaker 27 We're losing focus with the Sudan and the Congo stuff, I feel.

Speaker 27 I really do. I can get upset about this Palestine, but you start throwing in Sudan and the Congo.
It doesn't work. I start going, oh yeah, everything's fucked.
And then I just turn it all off.

Speaker 27 You got to focus. I can't handle everything.
You can't be like Sudan, Congo. Like they are now listing everything going on on the planet.
I can't be enraged about that. Stick with something.

Speaker 27 The friend of a prominent Congolese opposition leader's son said he turned down a six-figure offer. to travel there from the U.S.

Speaker 27 as part of a family security detail in what turned out to be a failed coup.

Speaker 27 Marcel Malanga, the 21-year-old son of an eccentric coup leader, Christian Malanga, was detained by Congolese forces Sunday morning, along with a former classmate from their hometown of West Jordan, Utah, after his father was killed in a shootout while resisting arrest.

Speaker 27 His high school football teammate, Tyler Thompson, 21, was one of the two other Americans arrested after an ill-fated attack on the presidential palace in Kinshasa.

Speaker 27 Six people were dead and dozens arrested, including three Americans following the attack and another on the residence of a close ally of President Felix

Speaker 27 Shiketti.

Speaker 27 The Congolese Army spokesperson, Brigadier General Sylvain Akenj, said.

Speaker 27 Daniel Gonzalez, a former teammate of the two Utah residents, caught up in the foiled coup, told the Associated Press that Marcel had offered him $50,000 to $100,000 to spend four months in the Congo as a security guard for his politician father.

Speaker 27 The 22-year-old FedEx worker said he strongly considered it,

Speaker 27 but said it lacked concrete details. He ultimately declined so he could spend the summer with his girlfriend.

Speaker 27 I feel really sad for Tyler and Marcel, but at the end of the day, I just can't be grateful. I just can be grateful that I didn't go because I'd be stuck in the same scary

Speaker 27 situation.

Speaker 27 That is great, by the way,

Speaker 27 to have your son

Speaker 27 have a summer job, and that summer job is overthrowing a government in Africa.

Speaker 27 A friend of mine's father, who I've talked about on the show before, Bud Munster, said that

Speaker 27 if you're just a white guy with some money, you can kind of go, and I don't know if that's the case with this guy, I don't know if he's white or not, but you can go to like these places like Africa or South America, and you could really like

Speaker 27 fuck around a little bit and have fun, like try to overthrow a government. Like this is kind of cool for like a summer trip that you went there.
Now it didn't work. Certain things don't work.

Speaker 27 But the idea that, like, this guy's trying to overthrow an African government with his kid, and he said to his kid's friends, why don't you get a couple of your loser friends?

Speaker 27 And you could come over and try to overthrow this government too.

Speaker 27 It is crazy to think about that. That's his summer.

Speaker 27 I don't know what exactly

Speaker 27 you learn from this.

Speaker 27 That's maybe the issue is you don't really learn. You learn about trusting people.
Like if you go over there, first of all, I never, I never wanted to work as a person. That's why I do this.

Speaker 27 Poor people were always the ones that worked. You always see the poor working.
They're always fiddling and fidgeting. They're late all the time.
I was one of them for years.

Speaker 27 They work so hard and no one cares. And so I never wanted to work.

Speaker 27 It would never interested me. That's why I do this.
And rich people are kind of never really working. They're always doing something.
They're always like kind of like taking a phone call,

Speaker 27 going to a lunch. But

Speaker 27 so I would have turned this down immediately. They're like, you're going to be a security guard.
I mean, I wouldn't do that anywhere.

Speaker 27 And certainly not in the Congo. Like, if my best friend was like, you know, my dad loves you.
He wants you to be a security guard in the Congo. I'd be like, fuck off, man.
It's the summer.

Speaker 27 It's the summer. Like, we're not going to, I'm not going over to the African Congo with your dad.
Your dad's a nut.

Speaker 27 But apparently some of these kids did, and now they're fucked. Are they still in jail?

Speaker 27 Yeah, at least one of them is.

Speaker 27 So the son and then this other kid, this other Tyler Higby, his like parents talked to the news the other day. Let's see what's going on with these.
And by the way, how do you let your kid go?

Speaker 27 My son went to the Congo.

Speaker 36 It was supposed to be a family trip to Africa, but it turned deadly over the weekend.

Speaker 36 Rebecca Higby says her son, Tyler Thompson, was invited to travel through several countries in Africa with his longtime friend, Marcel Malonga.

Speaker 37 My son Tyler has been friends with Marcel for years. They've been playing football together.

Speaker 37 And every summer Marcel would go see his dad, just like any divorced couple. He would go spend summers with his dad in Africa.

Speaker 36 Marcel is the son of Christian Malanga, the man killed in a shootout after an alleged attack on the Congolese presidential palace. Higby says Malanga was shot in front of her son and Marcel.

Speaker 36 Since then, they've been trying to get any information about Thompson. They've been searching online and the images they've seen have them frightened.

Speaker 37 We just see images and every time we see an image, my son seems more...

Speaker 27 You know these two lesbos were so excited that their kid was going to Africa. You know they were so excited, these lesbians, when he's like, I'm going to Africa.

Speaker 27 They told everyone in the community. They told everybody in the fucking community.
They were walking up and down the streets going, our son's in Africa. He's in the Congo right now.

Speaker 27 Our son's in the Congo. They brought it up at every party.
They brought it up at every fucking bakery. They come in, oh yeah, we need a cake.
And well, our son, it won't be for our son, actually.

Speaker 27 He's in the Congo. He's in the Congo.
And they thought it was great.

Speaker 27 But, you know, if you overthrow a government, you got to win. That's part of it.
If you try for a coup, you got to win.

Speaker 27 Like when the CIA killed President Kennedy and installed Johnson, they succeeded. Had they not succeeded, it wouldn't have been good.
But

Speaker 27 they succeeded. They planned and they executed.
This guy's got a bunch of, what are they, college kids? High school, college? Yeah, high school. 20, 22, yeah.
Or college, okay.

Speaker 27 These guys, a bunch of college kids trying to take over. And that makes me think, can you do that? Can you take over like a little small African nation with a bunch of college kids?

Speaker 27 Because that's going to be the next thing. Everyone's going to be like,

Speaker 27 we all got priced out of New York and L.A. We just take over a small African nation.
I mean, that is really the way to be rich. The way to be rich is to go to Africa.
That is the way to be rich.

Speaker 27 It's like the old school way to be rich, really. And I know that some people are going to find this insensitive culturally, but it is.
To go to Africa.

Speaker 27 is the, you know, everyone's like, you go to the Hamptons and Palm Beach and Malibu. Yeah.

Speaker 27 Still laws. They're still going to tell you what to do.
They're still going to tell you what to do. They're still going to tell you what to do.
But if you go to Africa and you set yourself up right,

Speaker 27 there is nothing you cannot do and nothing you cannot have. Truly, if you set yourself up right in Africa, you're a warlord.
You're the government.

Speaker 27 Like, I don't know. I don't think I have enough money to be an African warlord.

Speaker 27 But I think if I, you know, when you think about it, because that's what this guy wanted to do. This guy was like, I've been living here, but I'm not where I want to be.

Speaker 27 I'm going to get my son and a few of his friends, and we're going to overthrow this goddamn government. Did they even get close? Play the rest of this.
Did they get close? Probably not.

Speaker 37 Like, brisk looks broken, nose looks broken.

Speaker 36 Miranda Thompson is Tyler's stepmother. She says Tyler was scrapbooking his trips to Africa, showing off their visit to Johannesburg and the restaurants they visited in Swaziland.

Speaker 36 The last communication he sent to his mother was that he loved her. But since Sunday, no.

Speaker 27 By the way, I bet the guy who got shot was so charismatic. I have been led to do crazy things by the charismatic parents of my friends.

Speaker 27 I was in two boating accidents with Bud Munster, who I thought was great.

Speaker 27 I used to drink so much with my friend's parents.

Speaker 27 They could get you to do anything. Really, I remember I was driving home once from a bar and I sideswiped this parked car.
I was like, what the fuck? And Bud, Munster and Claire.

Speaker 27 My friend's parents were in the back. They'd go, keep going, keep going.
I was just driving fast, cigarette in my mouth. I finally got to their house.
I ran out of the car and ran into the back room.

Speaker 27 But these are the types of things that

Speaker 27 if you're a charismatic parent, you can really convince. I wonder if these kids, these kids didn't know what was going on until they got there.
He's probably, they're getting drunk.

Speaker 27 They're getting congo drunk, which is a different thing. They're really fucked up.
And he goes, listen, I'm going to, we're going to overthrow this government. We're going to be kings.

Speaker 27 We're going to be kings.

Speaker 27 And I bet there was a minute in, in, in, and they're all alive, right? These kids? Yes, all the kids are alive. This is a great lesson.
And, and, and here's the thing.

Speaker 27 They were all probably relieved when the guy got shot. Because he was probably coming on real strong.
He was probably very intense. The last few hours of that guy's life were very intense.

Speaker 27 And I've had this experience where like the fun dad gets dark. And when the the fun dad gets dark, it's all over.
And you know that.

Speaker 27 Like when someone's fun dad, who you've been getting fucked up with all weekend turns around and starts to say some really wild shit. And you're like, oh, I don't know about that.

Speaker 27 Oh, really?

Speaker 27 Oh,

Speaker 27 Mr. Johnson, are you serious about all that stuff? You know, they start to go, there's a switch that flips.

Speaker 27 Because the fun dad can get really dark really quick.

Speaker 27 And I think this was the switch that flipped where he started looking at his son and his friends and going, we're going to overthrow this government. And I bet everybody's like, it started as a joke.

Speaker 27 Like, okay,

Speaker 27 we're going to, we're going to go up to the Congolese palace. And what?

Speaker 27 And this guy was deadly serious, and he got shot in front of everybody.

Speaker 27 And they were relieved when he got shot. They were like, thank God, because that was rough.

Speaker 27 And now they get put in jail and I don't know what happens to them.

Speaker 27 Utah parents terrified. We don't know where he is.

Speaker 39 We don't know what he's doing, what he's going through.

Speaker 39 We're just terrified.

Speaker 36 For now, they can only wait for any news from the State Department.

Speaker 39 I mean, we get to trust that it's their job, right? And that it's what they do and their job is to look after American citizens.

Speaker 27 What an interesting take. By the way, by the way, what an interesting take.
It's like, this is the problem with institutionalists. She's like, well, we just have to trust it.
It's their job.

Speaker 27 And their job is to look after Americans. Your son tried to overthrow the government of the Congo.

Speaker 27 The State Department's job's kind of like, ignore that. What are they going to do? Your son was involved in a coup attempt.

Speaker 27 They don't give it, well, it's their job. It's the State Department's job.
I'm sure they deal with this all the time. I'm sure they deal with people from Utah accidentally doing a coup all the time.

Speaker 27 And we just have to be,

Speaker 27 you know, we just have to have faith and try. Dude, the State Department is busy.
With all this shit going on with Israel right now, can you imagine not going to

Speaker 27 hire we doing anything about the Utah teenager who's stuck in the Congo? Hey, hey, hey, get the fuck out of my office. Okay, how about you get the fuck out of my office, okay?

Speaker 27 I'm on the fucker, up to my head and fucking Rafa. I got incursions.
I got headless babe. Everybody's bleeding.

Speaker 27 You think I give a shit about a retard from Utah trying to overthrow the government of the fucking Congo? I hope they kill him.

Speaker 27 And I hope they use that fucking thing where they smear honey all over you and let fire ants eat you or bees or something. I read about that.

Speaker 27 I don't know if that's what they actually do or if it's sort of a racist thing that I was reading, but the point is it's a cool punishment nonetheless.

Speaker 27 But nobody at the State Department, this is not priority one.

Speaker 27 Russia, Ukraine, China, Israel, Palestine, and then these

Speaker 27 fucking Lesbos.

Speaker 27 Sorry, ladies.

Speaker 27 This is their job.

Speaker 27 I'm sure they're really concerned about our son.

Speaker 27 This is their job, isn't it? Isn't this what they do? That's not what their job is at the State Department.

Speaker 27 Someone should explain to these women that's absolutely not their job at the State Department. That is not their job.
Their job at the State Department is

Speaker 27 to try to figure out how to

Speaker 27 say that Rafa attack was caused by lightning, like a heat storm. That's their job at the State Department.
They're sitting around going, like, well, what if there was just,

Speaker 27 could we engineer footage of lightning striking that camp? Maybe lightning struck a pile of ammunition.

Speaker 27 Well, have you ever heard of an electrical storm? They're actually quite powerful. That's their job at the State Department.
Not this. But anyway, let's finish this up.

Speaker 39 Literally, all we can do at this point is trust that they are going to do that job.

Speaker 27 Yeah, it's sad. Well,

Speaker 27 here's the good news. If the kids get out of jail, they have learned the humongous lesson.
It is a lesson that you'll never learn at summer camp.

Speaker 27 You learn you cannot trust a charismatic psychopath because

Speaker 27 now I've almost had Bud Munster said to me once, this was after the second boating accident. He said, you have to stop hanging out with me.
I'm trying to kill myself.

Speaker 27 And I kind of internalized that and I was like, oh, I I see.

Speaker 27 Charismatic

Speaker 27 people can get you killed. Charismatic people can get you killed.
Most people suck, so they cannot convince you to do anything. Really, they can't.
Most people are just like,

Speaker 27 who's that? Christian Malanga? Yeah, and his son.

Speaker 27 Yeah, that guy

Speaker 27 was an intense guy,

Speaker 27 but I bet he was fun.

Speaker 27 Get a close-up on him. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 27 That guy's a charismatic guy.

Speaker 27 He is a charismatic individual. And he convinced his son's friends to go to the Congo and try to overthrow a government.

Speaker 27 Not all at once, by the way. He was just like, you come to Africa.
You learn how to be man.

Speaker 27 You learn how to be man in Africa. You in America, you're old faggot, but you come here, you learn to be man.
And they're like, what does that mean? They don't know. They think it's going to be fun.

Speaker 27 They think it's going to be like American Ninja Warrior.

Speaker 27 But instead, this guy gets shot in the head in front of them.

Speaker 27 But I'll tell you this, you learn the limits of, and you got to ask for the receipts a little.

Speaker 27 I guess that's what you learn after you've watched your friend's father get killed in a failed coup attempt. If you make it out of the Congo prison, which, by the way, they might not.

Speaker 27 And our government should spend zero time trying to make that happen. Like, literally, the effort they should be one phone call to the Congo to go, hey, would do you, how do you feel?

Speaker 27 How do you feel about this? We'll give you a couple of bucks. Nothing crazy.
We'll give you a couple of bucks. We'll send you like 10 Gs,

Speaker 27 something like that, if you let this guy out. We should not, we got too much going on.
And they should tell the mother that. They should tell the two lesbians that.

Speaker 27 They should tell them, they should go, we got a lot going on. Like, they probably call the State Department every day, going, like, hey, what's the deal with our son?

Speaker 27 And then you go, hey, hey, lady, I don't know if you've heard, but we got a lot going on.

Speaker 27 We got a lot going on. It's getting real hot out there, and we don't know where your son is.
We haven't heard from your son. If we hear from him, we'll pass a message along.
But we're busy.

Speaker 27 We're busy. And they may never see him again.
And that is sad.

Speaker 27 This is 2024.

Speaker 27 You've got two lovely lesbians who have an adopted son who then goes to the Congo with his best friend's father and ends up imprisoned because of a failed coup attempt. It's so 2024.

Speaker 27 It really is.

Speaker 27 And they were happy about it. Oh, he's in Africa.
He's in.

Speaker 27 Well, he's in Africa. I think he's doing aid work or helping.
We don't know. But, you know, that's what happens.

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Speaker 27 Cracker Barrel's in trouble. The CEO

Speaker 27 is on an investor call. The stock is plummeting.
The chain restaurant and talks will be redesigned.

Speaker 27 What does it mean for the country-themed restaurant? I think the problem with the Cracker Barrel is you

Speaker 27 really do feel when you're sitting in it like you're at a Klan rally. It's not the most.

Speaker 27 People don't mind being white trash. They don't want to feel like white trash all the time.
And the Cracker Barrel aesthetic is kind of a garbage person

Speaker 27 aesthetic. It's just a, you know, it's a mythology about like what it's like when you're living off the land.
Everything's real simple here at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 27 Come on in and get a home cooked meal at Cracker Barrel. And what it really is, is a dump.
And good pancakes are good. The food's actually decent.
It's okay. But

Speaker 27 it needs to step up.

Speaker 27 to the new kind of more modern fascistic thing.

Speaker 27 We can do modern fascistic

Speaker 27 because that will be a genre of restaurant. It's like a fascist modern place.
But it's got, you got to get rid of this fucking like hearth and these old fucking skis

Speaker 27 on the fucking walls. Get rid of all this crap.
Get rid of the bear skins and the fucking

Speaker 27 you know, these weird contraptions. You got to design a modern patriotic place

Speaker 27 where you can say, I'm a modern patriot.

Speaker 27 I don't ask no questions. Give me my chicken.

Speaker 27 Give me my chicken. I don't want to know nothing about nothing.

Speaker 27 Give me my chicken. I support the military in everything they do, in everything they will maybe do.

Speaker 27 War is good for the soul. That's what it should say.
When you go to Cracker Barrel, it should say war is good for the soul on the wall.

Speaker 27 Cracker Barrel, by the way, should just be to get you ready for war as a restaurant. It should be what Fox News is, where it just gets you ready for war.

Speaker 27 And MSNBC is actually starting to do that now, too. Most of our cultural institutions in the country have just decided that

Speaker 27 their main

Speaker 27 function is just to prepare the population for war. So what Cracker Barrel, like the menu should just say rations.

Speaker 27 They should say rations on it. And your waiter should come over and say, God bless America.
Every sacrifice is remembered here at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 27 Like it should just get you ready to go and die somewhere. That's the theme of the Cracker Barrel restaurant.
And I think that it just,

Speaker 27 it needs to be redesigned so it kind of looked like they should just have plane. They should have.
TVs with military flyovers where you just see the planes like flying over football games.

Speaker 27 You should get out of Cracker Barrel and punch your wife in the face because you're so revved up. You're so revved up, you should come out of Cracker Barrel and commit a random hate crime.

Speaker 27 You should just commit a random hate crime at a rest stop when you walk out of Cracker Barrel. That's the point of Cracker Barrel.
You get out of there ready to fight.

Speaker 27 You're ready to fight because that's what this country is about. It's about war.
They just got to retool it a little bit. They got to retool it.
What is the CEO saying? What's his plan?

Speaker 27 Does he agree with me? It's a she. She said that they're not.
What?

Speaker 27 I've located one of the problems. It's a she.

Speaker 27 That's a problem. Cracker Barrel says, CEO, we're not as relevant as we once were.

Speaker 27 The 54-year-old Roadside Eatery with its old country store and down-home menu of chicken-fried steak grits and hash-brown casserole. has been steadily losing customers for the past decade.

Speaker 27 They want to start refreshing the interior and exterior with a different color palette. They got to go hard in there.

Speaker 27 They got to remind people what this country is about.

Speaker 27 Killing for God.

Speaker 27 That's what Cracker Barrel should be about. Killing people for God.

Speaker 27 Jesus.

Speaker 27 The white one.

Speaker 27 Crackerbarrow should be about killing. You raise a family until they're old enough to kill, and then you send them.
You unleash them on the world.

Speaker 27 We're just not as relevant as we once were, Chief Executive Julie Fells-Messino, who took the helm of the company nine months ago, said, some of our recipes and processes haven't evolved in decades.

Speaker 27 Well, figure it out,

Speaker 27 or you're going the way a red lobster.

Speaker 27 Cracker Barrel is a rest stop meth dungeon. It really is.

Speaker 27 There's zero reason to eat at Cracker Barrel, really, unless you're like, it's where human traffickers like, like take a break and eat a little bit, but it can be redesigned as a fascist place,

Speaker 27 as an American fascist eatery.

Speaker 27 This is the ex-president of Taco Bell, this woman? She was an executive that did wonderful things at Taco Bell, and so now she's Cracker Barrel. Well, here's what Taco Bell's done.

Speaker 27 What Taco Bell's done is consistently aimed for like junkies. That's what Taco Bell does.
They use bright colors and they use the same five ingredients, but it's for junkies. It's marketed to junkies.

Speaker 27 It's marketed to stoners. It's marketed to people that are out late at night, drunks.
They didn't try to be healthy. They didn't try to do any of that shit.
The cantina menu is fake.

Speaker 27 They are, their bread and butter is people that are out at one o'clock in the morning and they know it. They know it.

Speaker 27 This is the woman in the meetings when they say, should we try to appeal to people? She goes, absolutely not. We will lose this company if we try to appeal to people.

Speaker 27 She's got to be the one in the meeting that has the balls when they say, Should we make Cracker Barrel more inclusive or more diverse? She's got to go, No, actually, it should go the other way.

Speaker 27 It should be the scariest restaurant in this country. We should literally put on our website, we're the home of traditional values.

Speaker 27 There should be a picture of Donald Trump, a picture of Jesus, and a picture of Ribs. And that's what they should do.
That's their brand. Lean into it.
No DEI at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 27 You're going back to basics. We are a restaurant for white people who are going to send their children to go die in Iraq or something before they have a chance to get addicted to drugs at home.

Speaker 27 It's the last meal you have before you drop your kids at Fort Bragg. That's Cracker Barrel.
It is the last meal you have before you drop your children to go die with honor.

Speaker 27 That's what you're going to do. You're going to die with honor, son, because we've seen your mother's medicine cabinet.
There's a few things missing.

Speaker 27 And we know you've been drinking and hanging out with that Spanish girl. So guess where you're going? Wherever the government says, wherever the government says, you're going.

Speaker 27 And we're going to have a nice family meal at Cracker Barrel. And then we're going to drop you off.
And then you're going to go shoot a baby in its face because that's what you're doing.

Speaker 27 Go die with honor at Cracker Barrel. Here at Cracker Barrel, we understand that

Speaker 27 everybody can be a little bit of a problem, even the young'uns. Ain't that right? Israel.

Speaker 27 Cracker Barrel stands with Israel. Cracker Barrel should come out and stand with Israel.
Right after the Rafah attack, Cracker Barrel should say a lot of restaurants puss out when things get tough.

Speaker 27 But here at Cracker Barrel, we know what being an ally means. And we don't mean an ally to those fucking dog mask wearing faggots in San Francisco.
We mean an ally to Israel.

Speaker 27 Israel's getting ready for the coming of Jesus Christ. He's coming back.
And they're clearing the land, clearing the land to prepare for the Lord Jesus to come back.

Speaker 27 So here at Israel, here at Cracker Barrel, if you come in here and you can prove you're a Zionist, you get a free slice of pie, kosher pie. Come on down to Cracker Barrel.
Casualties happen.

Speaker 27 They should be out in front.

Speaker 27 Because all these New York City Jews would never be caught dead in a Cracker Barrel. Flip the script.

Speaker 27 Flip the script. Cracker Barrel should be targeting here at Cracker Barrel.
It's come to our attention. Most people don't even know what Zionism is.

Speaker 27 We're giving a course on it.

Speaker 27 So if you come to our Cracker Barrel, our prefix four-course dinner, one of our wait staff will explain to you the necessity of keeping the Holy Land holy for the return of Christ, no matter what.

Speaker 27 Come on down to Cracker Barrel. And at four courses of food, we'll tell you what needs to be done.
We'll tell you what needs to be done.

Speaker 27 I don't care how you pronounce it. Rapha, Rapha.
It's all bad to me.

Speaker 27 Get ready. Cracker Barrel's coming.
Cracker Barrel. They should sponsor the Israeli war.
Cracker Barrel is the official sponsor of Israel's war in Gaza.

Speaker 27 Sending biscuits.

Speaker 27 Netanyahu.

Speaker 27 Cracker Barrel. Some call it a genocide.
We call it goody.

Speaker 27 Some say it's a genocide. We say it's good eating.

Speaker 27 Here at Cracker Barrel, we think,

Speaker 27 what if drones could deliver gravy? What kind of world would we be living in? A much better world than the one we live in now.

Speaker 27 Here at Cracker Barrel, there's nothing better than a man marrying his own daughter. Cracker Barrel.
We believe in incest and drews. Cracker Barrel.
That's what they should do.

Speaker 27 If you want to have sex with your own child, you bring them to Cracker Barrel. Get married to your own child at Cracker Barrel.
There's nothing wrong with it.

Speaker 27 Cracker Barrel. I mean, listen.
What if they became the official restaurant of pedophiles? We're the official restaurant of alternative lifestyles. Cracker Barrel.
For minor attracted persons.

Speaker 27 Maps get really hassled in this country. Come on down to Cracker Barrel.
Ain't nobody going to rat on you.

Speaker 27 Come on down and get a good down-home meatloaf with your

Speaker 27 boy or girl. If you're a minor attracted person, there's a lot of judgment in society.
But not here at Cracker Barrel. The official restaurant for maps.
Minor attractive people.

Speaker 27 These should all be pitched as brand alternatives to like homestyle family.

Speaker 27 Here's the thing. There's no more homestyle family shit.
Everyone's on meth. Everything, every little small town is like a meth dungeon.
It's a meth factory. The rivers are polluted.

Speaker 27 None of the hunting and fishing. That's all over.

Speaker 27 So you can turn it into a fascist war factory or you could make it a place for like minor attractive people, maps maps, and people that are into incest.

Speaker 27 It's at rest stops, Cracker Barrel. We know where it is, right? It's a side-of-the-road restaurant.
You don't have a lot of options.

Speaker 27 You can't make it, no one's getting a shellfish tower at Cracker Barrel. Make it a restaurant for pedophiles.
Come on down to Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 27 We don't ask no questions except how much money you want to save on our dinner.

Speaker 27 Cracker Barrel for minor attracted persons.

Speaker 27 Hi, my name is Jules and we've done a lot at Taco Bell by focusing on feeding junkies.

Speaker 27 We thought it would be very interesting if we just played around with the idea of just alluding very vaguely to incest in some of the commercials and kind of targeting minor attractive people.

Speaker 27 That's all.

Speaker 27 And it doesn't have to be explicit. Maybe it's a father kind of smiling at his daughter while he cuts the pancakes or

Speaker 27 again, America's going to have, listen don't get mad at me america is going to have a very dark place and i'm the ceo of this company and i don't want to lose i hate losing my name is jules felz messino and i hate losing

Speaker 27 so i just want to point this company the direction where we can win there's a lot of pedophiles there's a lot of people having sex with their own kids and they need to eat

Speaker 33 Are your AI agents helping users or just creating more work? If you can't compare your users' workflows before and after adding AI, how do you know it's even paying off?

Speaker 33 Pendo Agent Analytics is the first tool to connect agent prompts and conversations to downstream outcomes like time saved so you know what's working and what to fix.

Speaker 33 Start improving agent performance at pendo.io slash podcast. That's pendo.io slash podcast.

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Speaker 26 You're at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 27 They got to think about things like this. That's what, listen, the demographics in this country are not going to be the old demographics.
People are becoming monsters.

Speaker 27 You're going to have to cater to them. It's going to be a reality.
You're going to have to cater to like people that are not great.

Speaker 27 They're not ideal. They're not what you would want.
They're not what you would want. Okay, so I'm not saying which ones you have to do.
I'm just saying you're going to have to make a choice.

Speaker 27 Taco Bell made the right choice. You go junkies, people that are on drugs.
That's who eats here. People that are drunk and they're on drugs.
They drink and they use drugs to make themselves happy.

Speaker 27 And they need cheap food that is colorful and quick. They don't want to wait.
They have bad impulse control, which is why they're eating here.

Speaker 27 So we need to get something warm in their hand in five minutes. before they start to fight each other.

Speaker 27 That's the way Taco Bell works. Hot in their hand within five minutes.

Speaker 27 Most of them are in their cars and they're drunk. So they will start fighting with the car behind them if the food is not out in time.

Speaker 27 It is for drug addicts who are coming home from a night of drinking and using drugs. That is Taco Bell.
I've been there many a night. That's who it is.
We're all drug addicts in that drive-through.

Speaker 27 We're junkies. We're drunks.

Speaker 27 We're not good people. We're not coming from the fucking

Speaker 27 whatever it is. You know, we're not coming from the food bank.

Speaker 27 We're not coming from from the we're coming from a place where we were drinking and using drugs and now we're at taco bell and we're eating this gooey crap in the back of the car you're like an animal you're going

Speaker 27 and you're eating all this shit and then you fall asleep and you wake up in the middle of the night

Speaker 27 and you feel this like this lava in your chest and a lot of times it's called acid reflux it comes up through your esophagus and and and you

Speaker 27 wake up with it and then you you like you'll go to the you'll run to the bathroom and start spitting it out until eventually you just actually go you know what it is and you just swallow it you like wake up in the middle of the night and you go oh that's the lava it's like the food because your body doesn't want the food their body goes no no no this wasn't food and your body goes expel it it's not food it's not food if you've ever watched what they do in taco belt the things they use aren't even utensils it's like a weird like thing that just flips the quesadilla over.

Speaker 27 It's not a knife. It's not a fork.
It's like this weird lever they use to just, and it's all just, you know, things of sauce. They squirt and then like pastes.

Speaker 27 But it's not food. Nothing looks like food.
You can't identify when something's been a food. So the body, the human body, after it's in there, immediately starts panicking.
You just panic.

Speaker 27 If you eat a lot of Taco Bell quick, your body panics. It doesn't know what's happening.
And you'll be in the car and you have this real thick.

Speaker 27 like feeling you have this you feel really bad really quickly and then if you go to bed with that food in the middle of the night, you wake up with what they call acid reflux.

Speaker 27 And it's just that food that is not really breaking down because the body doesn't want it.

Speaker 27 And it just comes up in your throat and you feel it. And it's holding in your throat.
And then you, but then you get so used to it, you just wake up. And this is when you know you're a fat slob.

Speaker 27 You wake up and you go, oh, that's just the bile in my stomach trying to escape. And then you go, nope, and you swallow it and go,

Speaker 27 nope, you go back in.

Speaker 27 Taco Bell, I've eaten a Taco Bell more consistently than any other restaurant in my life.

Speaker 27 I know Taco Bell when,

Speaker 27 I mean, I know Taco Bell in the 90s. I know Taco Bell.
I know Taco Bell. I know everything about it.
And I know this bitch.

Speaker 27 And I know what she did for Taco Bell. They have resisted every single change that every other fast food restaurant made.
Dan Soder, a good friend of mine, has a great joke about this.

Speaker 27 Dan Soder's joke is because McDonald's, they were trying to be like, no, we're healthy. And then Dan Soder, they're like, Taco Bell? And they're like, nope, we're crunchy.

Speaker 27 Like, like, they know what they're doing. It's words that drug addicts can understand.
That's what Taco Bell does. And the food, so what Cracker Barrel has to do

Speaker 27 is choose a course.

Speaker 27 Like Red Lobster chose a course.

Speaker 27 It was black people who were leaving church. That's who it was.
And I love Red Lobster and I like black people who leave church and I like a lot of the things they're going to eat.

Speaker 27 But that was the Red Lobster's choice. They had a demographic choice.
Okay.

Speaker 27 It's like Fridays. Fridays for a while, like their choice, it was like,

Speaker 27 they went with like teachers

Speaker 27 because like the whole idea of like, thank God it's Fridays, like attracted like these, it was like a weird cringe thing.

Speaker 27 It was like a teacher vibe or like middle management, lower level corporate cheap suit marketing dirtbag people that would show up and like get the jack daniels platter get the appetizer platter and like get like a margarita at fridays and like thank god and the bartender would pretend to flirt with them and they'd be like you're in again

Speaker 27 some guy'd walk in he'd be like you're in again huh And she'd be like, yeah, I didn't see you last week.

Speaker 27 And he'd be like, well, I was working or I was saying I was working like it's one of those and that's who Fridays had like the weird dad types who would flirt with the bartender Red Lobster had

Speaker 27 church people on Sundays

Speaker 27 Taco Bell had the junkies

Speaker 27 you got to choose outback had like families of 12 like families of 12 people where like people would go into outback steakhouse and they would bring blankets and pillows and cribs and like it would be their home for two hours.

Speaker 27 Outback just courted like very large families. They had like the largest families I've ever seen would go to the Outback steakhouse, like white, like white trash families.

Speaker 27 But I think Cracker Brown needs to make a decision. These theme restaurants tell us more about our lives and our culture than museums.
So if you think I spend too much time on them, fuck off.

Speaker 27 They tell us more about who we are. Then museum, the Guggenheim for the average person, means nothing.
It means people would get on my tour bus and they go, What museum should we go to?

Speaker 27 I said, Stop it.

Speaker 27 It means going to the Met and seeing the Temple of Dunder, it means nothing to you. It means nothing.

Speaker 27 Go to Charlio's.

Speaker 27 It's a nice little cheap, cheap, cheap steakhouse in Penn Station and go see a Ranger game. Go to Charlio's.

Speaker 27 Theme restaurants tell us

Speaker 27 who we are as a people. Museums don't don't.

Speaker 27 Like,

Speaker 27 you know, academic institutions barely do.

Speaker 27 Politics sort of does.

Speaker 27 Theme restaurants. You will learn everything you need to know about America by visiting like an Applebee's on a Wednesday night and just sitting there.

Speaker 27 You will learn everything you need to learn about everybody and about this whole cut. You will need nothing else.
You won't need a poll from Nate Thilver 538. You will need nothing else.

Speaker 27 You eat a meal at Applebee's, you walk to your car and you get it. Immediately you get it.
You understand the whole

Speaker 27 thing.

Speaker 27 The whole thing.

Speaker 27 The food that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 27 Bourbon fajita patty. burgers.

Speaker 27 It doesn't make sense. The food that they had, fajita burgers at at Applebee's at one point.
It's a burger and a fajita. It's party, party down, eating good in the neighborhood, and it's not good.

Speaker 27 Oh, it is not good. It's worse than frozen food that you would just buy and eat.
But you will learn so much about,

Speaker 27 and the people will talk to you too. You go, so you know, you can say to them, like, are you working a lot? And

Speaker 27 they'll tell you, they'll just be like, well, I'm only on two days this week. I'm going to school.
I want to be a dental hygienist. My mother took her own life.

Speaker 27 My brother's on the lamb

Speaker 27 from the law. My mother killed herself.
She couldn't really deal with that. I work two days a week.
I want to be a dental hygienist, you know.

Speaker 27 And you go, oh, thank you. Can I have the fajita burger? What's good today? The fajita burger.
What is it? They go, I don't know. They'll tell you too.
They go, I don't really know what that one is.

Speaker 27 I think it's a burger in a fajita. Yeah.
They'll giggle. Go, all right, I'll have that.
They go, yeah, we just serve it with seven sauces, whichever one you want. Just put anything on it.

Speaker 27 Put anything on it. We're all in hell.
We're all in hell here.

Speaker 27 Sir, are you a map? If you're a map, you get a free dessert.

Speaker 27 If you're a no-contact map, we want to show our appreciation by giving you a free dessert. So if you are a dormant pedophile, we have a free dessert for you.
If you're a no-contact map,

Speaker 27 well,

Speaker 27 they shot another guy in Minneapolis. Very sad.
This cop who was killed in Minneapolis.

Speaker 27 Minneapolis is really a fucking dump.

Speaker 27 It's sad. This guy, Jamal, what was his last name? Mitchell.
Jamal Mitchell goes in. He's ambushed.
He's killed. He was a father.

Speaker 27 He was recognized for saving two elderly people from their burning home on his third day in the job. And the guy is ambushed and killed.
And, you know, this is

Speaker 27 an absolute tragedy. It's one of the saddest things I've read.
And the people of Minnesota consistently vote for this type of shit. They vote for defunding cops.

Speaker 27 They vote for making it easier for criminals. It's a disgusting place.

Speaker 27 The people there are disgusting pale white demons from hell. And this is the way they want to live.
And they live in little igloos.

Speaker 27 And that's what they do. And

Speaker 27 they're disgusting. Good pancakes there for whatever reason.
I don't know. But

Speaker 27 they consistently

Speaker 27 get the people killed that they supposedly care about.

Speaker 27 And this guy is a hero. And

Speaker 27 I hope there's a GoFundMe or something. We'll donate to it for his family.
It's absolutely insane. And hopefully the people of Minnesota stop behaving like this.
I mean,

Speaker 27 he's like the third or fourth cop to get killed in a while. But again, they just constantly don't want to live in a civil society, the people of Minnesota and the Great Lakes region.

Speaker 27 They do not want to live in a civil society. I don't know why that is about.
I don't know why they do not want to live in a civil society.

Speaker 27 But I've talked to many of them when I'm there, and this is what they do not want it. They do not like civilization, and they are the enemies of it.

Speaker 27 In Minnesota, they are the enemies of civilization in Minneapolis, Minnesota. That's just what it is.
They are the enemies. They are the enemies.

Speaker 27 There's a few good ones that come to the casino to see me every couple of years, and I like them. Those are the good ones.

Speaker 27 But you know who you are out there, enemies of civilization trying to destroy the earth. You know who you are.
And a lot of you live in Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Speaker 27 There's something wrong there. It snows for like 10 months, and these gaunt white demons

Speaker 27 just keep trying to ruin everything.

Speaker 27 And they, I know.

Speaker 27 Now they're seeing, this is pretty crazy. This situation down there is pretty crazy.

Speaker 27 You know, and listen, this is where the Floyd thing went down, which, you know, obviously was not good.

Speaker 27 We're not saying that we want that happening, but we also just can't have cops getting ambushed and killed.

Speaker 27 You can't have cops getting ambushed and killed. This isn't safe for anybody.
And

Speaker 27 I just have nothing. I have nothing good to say about Minneapolis, Minnesota.
I've never met a person from there that I've liked. I have never visited it once and went, wow, thank God I'm here.

Speaker 27 It is just gross. Truly.
Am I wrong? Oh, you have a lake? Oh, is a lake nice? Shut up. We'll smack you with the Pacific Ocean or the Atlantic.
We don't need that part of the country. It's got to go.

Speaker 27 That gaunt white folk. Oh, shucks.
I'm a folksy white shucks. Oh, shucks.
Look at me. I'm from Minneapolis.
Die and burn in in hell.

Speaker 27 You are demons. They are.

Speaker 27 They are demons. They're demonic, these people.

Speaker 27 They're disgusting.

Speaker 27 It would be great to announce a show there right now. I would love to.
And I would sell it because they know.

Speaker 27 The people that agree with me know. We have nothing left, folks.
We have everything. The comedy store.
It's the last time I'm going to be in LA for a while. I'm going to Hampton's for the summer.

Speaker 27 Fuck off. Ryman Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee.
And Displanes, Illinois, they keep yelling at me. I got to keep plugging this.
November 2nd. I mean, well, leave me alone.
They keep screaming at me.

Speaker 27 These agents yell and scream. Displanes, Illinois, the event center at Rivers Casino right before the election.
Come on down,

Speaker 27 please.

Speaker 27 To see me.

Speaker 27 To see me.

Speaker 27 We're here on Patreon every week.

Speaker 27 We'll see everybody

Speaker 27 next week. Hold your head, Donald.

Speaker 27 Hold your head, sir.

Speaker 27 Can we get Donald Trump saying cash before we leave to play us out?

Speaker 27 Let's get Donald J. Trump.
You might be on the fence about this guy, but when they say

Speaker 27 what's a collateral for your bond, and he says cash and then walks away. Good night, everyone.
And we're going to play off with Donald Cash Trump.

Speaker 29 We appreciate very much the decision of the appellate division. Thank you very much.
much. What's your demon with the model?

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 33 Are your AI agents helping users or just creating more work? If you can't compare your users' workflows before and after adding AI, how do you know it's even paying off?

Speaker 33 Pendo Agent Analytics is the first tool to connect agent prompts and conversations to downstream outcomes like time saved so you know what's working and what to fix.

Speaker 33 Start improving agent performance at pendo.io/slash podcast. That's pendo.io/slash podcast.

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