393 - Kevin Spacey's Soup & AI Saints

Baz Luhrmann's revolutionary film comes to life in Moulin Rouge! The Musical.

Winner of 10 Tony Awards including Best Musical.

The New York Times calls it dazzling, euphoric.

In Moulin Rouge! Life is Beautiful.

July 8th through 20th at San Jose Center for the Performing Arts. Get tickets at broadwaysanjose.com.
These are my vocal warm-ups I do. I go, Netanyahu.
Netanyahu. It's vocal.
Netanyahu. It's a vocal warm-up.
And it just puts me in a good place mentally. And if we see him, we're arresting him.
Citizens arrest. If I see him, if I see Benjamin Netanyahu in Salt-N-Straw or one of the places that I might be, and I see him, I'm going to go, you're done.
And he gets arrested. Because they have warrants for him now.
I'm not going to go into it, but they're trying to arrest him. They're trying to arrest him.
And can I arrest, what if we split the difference and I just arrest Barry Weiss? Can I go arrest Barry Weiss and her wife, citizens arrest, and put bagels on their hands instead of handcuffs? Little bagels on their hands? Come on, it's fun. It's fun.
That wouldn't cheer up the people of Palestine? Yeah, it would. Yeah, it would.
Oh, there's that guy from the States arresting Barry Weiss, little bagel handcuffs. To the jail now.
To the jail. Why are they harassing Logan Paul with his drink? Why are they angering people? Why are they going at these celebrities and their products? Celebrities work very hard.
Listen up, people out there. Celebrities work very hard on their products.
They work very, very hard. It's incredibly difficult to get into consumer goods.
And you are attacking a man's product. This is worse than attacking someone's family because a family can defend itself to some degree.
A product cannot. You're attacking a product.
There is almost no reason to be famous anymore unless you are selling a product. There's almost no reason.
Everyone is famous. Anywhere you go, someone under the age of 30 will point

someone out that you've never heard of and you don't know. And they'll go, that's the guy that

catches golf balls in his mouth on the thing. And you go, really? And people will be taking photos

with him. There's zero reason to be famous.
It's a, as a concept, it's degenerated to a point where

it's almost meaningless now. That's the guy.
He catches stuff. It's almost meaningless.
Money is meaningless. Cate Blanchett, get the video up.
She's right. Cate Blanchett at the Cannes Film Festival, people got really angry with her because she dared to tell the truth.
She said she was, let's watch what she said, and people got angry because she told the truth. And when you tell the truth that she has, she's, she said she was, let's watch what she said.

And people got angry because she told the truth. And when you tell the truth, it's a revolutionary act.
I don't know who said that. I think Netanyahu, this is Cate Blanchett.
I'm white. I'm privileged.
I'm middle-class. Correct.
And I think, you know, one can be accused of having a bit of a white savior complex. But to be perfectly honest, my interaction with refugees in the film, in the field, and also in resettled environments has totally changed my perspective on the world.
Because now what's her net? 85 sticks? 85 million? 95. 95 sticks.
She is middle class. You don't want to hear this.
Many of you, because you subsist on a diet of McGriddles and fentanyl, I understand. You're watching van life videos aspirationally going, wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't it be nice to live in a van? You know, people now in America, they watch van life videos, but it's aspirational.
They go, honey, if we get it together one day, we can live in a

van somewhere by the Pacific ocean and we could sing songs and play acoustic guitars as we sing ourselves to sleep. Van life videos have become aspirational.
People want that. So to the people out there that are upset by me telling you, no one is in print.
By the way, tell me you've got 95 million at lunch. I'm not impressed.

I'm not impressed.

Anything under a... upset by me telling you no one is in print by the way tell me you've got 95 million at lunch I'm not impressed I'm not impressed anything under 100 million if you're not a centimillionaire and really if you're not a billionaire yeah it's nice to have 95 it's a lot of money to a guy like me to some uh carnival barker like myself 95 I'd love 95 million I'll probably never get it because you people aren't as generous as you should be.
I'll probably never get that kind of money. But to Cate Blanchett, one of the greatest actresses of our time, she's rubbing shoulders with royalty, the tech CEOs with sultans, with whoever, $95 million ain't much.
And she said, I'm middleclass and people are mad about it. So my point is that if fame is nothing and money is barely anything anymore, unless you have gobs of it, unless you're the Sultan of Brunei, unless you have, then what is left? Consumer goods, to have a product, to have a product, to be a box, to be in a store, to be on a shelf, to have a can, to put your life's work into a can or a box.
Like remember the Stubbs barbecue sauce where he goes, my whole life is in this bottle. Well, Logan Paul's whole life is in this thing of prime and people are getting mad.
I don't know because there's paint thinner or something in it, but the kids are fine. It's got caffeine And he's in this thing of Prime and people are getting mad.
I don't know because there's paint thinner or something in it, but the kids are fine. It's got caffeine and he's in this war with Ryan Garcia who's accused him of poisoning all the children.
We like Logan Paul. He's a very nice guy.
He's very nice to me. I don't know anything about this Prime.
I'm not a food scientist. I'm not a food scientist.
I don't know. People are saying it's got too much caffeine for children.
This is what I've read. The kids are drinking it.
It's not good for their little hearts. What are the energy ingredients? Let's go.
Let's see what we got. Filtered water.
Cool. Coconut water.
Cool. Ingredient three, caffeine.
Flavoring agents. All right.
Electrolytes. Ooh, potassium, B12, magnesium.
Prime energy also contains sucralose, an artificial sweetener that in some studies have linked DNA damage and leaky gut. Okay.
I have leaky gut sometimes. It just means you get tired because prime energy contains coconut water.
People with tree nut allergies may wish to it. Each can of prime energy contains 200 milligrams of caffeine.
Caffeine is a stimulant drug that can improve physical performance, but it can also include like, you know, undesirable side effects. Now in a regular cup of coffee, you have about 95 milligrams of caffeine.
There's about 95 milligrams of caffeine in it. So basically, it's the kids are having two cups of coffee in an energy drink, right? Now, so what? I mean, to be honest, and I'm not shilling for Logan Paul, but is this such a big deal? They also say there's forever chemicals in it.
Chemicals that once you ingest them, they never leave. Now, I don't know what those are, and maybe there are forever chemicals in it.
I'm just saying there's a lot of caffeinated beverages out there that children consume. It's probably not great for kids that they're hopped up on caffeine.
it might dehydrate them. What should you do if Prime makes you sick? Well, call poison control.
Do they have that on it? Is that on every energy drink, by the way? Is that everywhere to call poison control? If that's not ideal, is it? Call poison control. Two influencers, KSI and Logan Paul, they're probably the two biggest influencers in the world, have an energy drink where people are drinking, it's a lot of caffeine in it.
So what? I've never tried a prime. I don't know what it tastes like.
I'm not an energy drink person. But apparently, no one's died from this yet, right? It's not like that Panera lemonade where a couple of people's hearts exploded.
If kids start dropping dead from this, dad claims son eight nearly died after consuming prime drink. He couldn't breathe.
Well, then don't let him drink it at eight. But what if you're eight and you want to be a champion? What if you're an eight-year-old that wants to be a champion? Look at this family.
Get a nice close-up on that family from the UK. Look at that family from the UK.
Logan Paul almost killed one of those children. Luann Tusha pictured with his family in London.
Loon Luann Tusha claimed his son Fabian nearly died from consuming a prime energy drink.

He couldn't breathe, Tusha told the son about his son's experience. He started to pull his hair and his cheeks.
My wife got a cool towel and put it on his forehead to try to calm him down. After calling emergency services, paramedics discovered his blood pressure was very high and monitored him until he became stable.

Huh. All the emergency services paramedics discovered his blood pressure was very high and monitored him until he became stable.

Huh.

Well, they've just banned it.

Prime Energy banned in Australia.

So Australia's not fucking with this.

In Australia, you can literally have a drink at breakfast and it's encouraged and no one cares. So just to give you an idea, they swim with sharks.
There's so many things in Australia that can kill you. So for them to go, hey, not good.
School kids are running out and taking these things, and that kid was pulling his face apart. Imagine that.
You have a kid. He and he starts pulling trying to pull his face off he's trying to pull the skin off his face just so he can breathe he looks like a fish he's ripping his skin off his face like he has gills he's like get the let me get oxygen daddy and he's pulling his hair he's in a total meltdown.
But this is inevitable.

This is what's going to happen. Celebrities now just want to have products.
This is all they want. If you're not a mogul in our society, it's meaningless.
It's meaningless. Cate Blanchett wants to be a mogul.
She's middle class. She's got $95 million.
She's just a middle class white lady. If she is not a mogul, like Jessica Alba, The Honest Company, if she's not slinging Casamigos, Clooney, Ryan Reynolds, gin, if you do not have a product, a brand, if you are not on stores, on shelves, in stores, what the fuck's the point? And if a few eight-year-olds have to pull the skin off their faces, so be it.
So be it. Wait till you see what I come up with.
I will have a pancake mix. I will be at a press conference and they will go, people are saying your pancake mix is just pool chemicals.
People are saying that. And I go, I, I am offended by that implication.
They go, eight people have died from your pancake mix, I will come up with something.

Listen, I'm. they go eight people have died from your pancake mix i will come up with something listen i'm sure can we say this i think logan paul's a nice guy i if i think every kid that dies he'll feel bad is that not enough for people is that not enough what do they want what do people what do these selfish fucks want every eight-year-old who tries to pull their skin off their face or whose heart explodes from drinking this, I guarantee Logan Paul's not going to be thrilled about it.
He's not going to be happy. All you can ask celebrities is to be upset after their products have killed someone.
That's all you can ask. You can't ask them to be God or omniscient or know what's going to happen

or how people are going to react to things.

They just have to go, huh.

I mean, everybody else is selling booze, alcohol.

George Clooney's selling you tequila so you can drink and get drunk,

and it makes it a little easier that you're not him.

Ryan Reynolds is slinging gin.

It's easier to stomach the fact that you are not Ryan Reynolds With a couple of nice martinis of his gin Life gets better You know, they're just turning around And going, here's some booze, baby Beauty products, they're a big one They're a big one Fenty by Rihanna Don't you want to look like Rihanna? The Jenners, Kylie Jenner, they were ahead of the game. The Kardashians were ahead of the game.
Honest Beauty by Jessica Alba. It's honest.
It's good. It's from, you know, we don't, you know, I don't know, rape livestock or whatever.
We don't take mice and shove them in a pipe or whatever the other company's doing. What does Maybelline do? How does Maybelline test their stuff? They just put a mouse in a cage and then they just put so much makeup on it.
It looks like a drag queen and then it drops dead. But Jessica Alba's not doing that.
She's not doing that. She's not putting a lot of drag makeup on a rat until it dies.
They're doing honest things. This is where Kevin Spacey went wrong.
He went wrong because he could have had a product. Kevin Spacey could have had a product.
Instead, he went around goosing people and taking his dick out. And now he's in trouble.
Although, although I'll be honest with you, if you watch the documentary and this is the problem with Me Too and Hollywood, as opposed to any other Me Too in the military, you feel bad for people. You go, oh, fuck, they're in the military.
Somebody's raping them. That's not good.
They join the military to make the ultimate sacrifice for America, and somebody is sexually harassing them. Or you go, you know, in corporate world, somebody's bad.
Here's the problem when it's a Hollywood Me Too, okay? The people that Kevin Spacey is being inappropriate with continually hang out with him. They keep going back because they want something out of the relationship.
This guy's like Kevin Spacey took me to a movie and started jerking off next to me. And then he goes, and then he called me and invited me to some party at his house that Bruce Willis was going to be at.
So of course, you know, I went. And you go, I don't really feel bad for you.
Kevin Spacey acted in a way that would prevent a normal person from hanging out with him again. You would go, this guy's got issues.
This guy has problems. However, all of these people want something out of the relationship with Kevin Spacey.
He's a major Hollywood star. So they go, fuck it.
We're just going to go to the party he's having at his hotel room. And I'm not trying to victim blame here.
I'm not saying that these people were responsible for Kevin Spacey's behavior. What I'm saying is they're certainly responsible for continually showing up to environments where they knew or had a good idea how this guy was going to act.
You know, it just does. You watch the documentary.
You don't feel that bad for these people. I'm sorry.
You don't. You don't feel bad for these older people, these actors that, you know, were just like,

because by the way, it's gross to watch someone talk about how they, because it's hard for them to even admit.

They're like, well, you know, he's Kevin Spacey, so well, you know, of course. Inherent in everything they're saying is their desperation to be famous or to be around famous people, and it's clouded their judgment.
And it just, it's not, they're not a group of people that it's easy to feel bad for. They're not a naturally sympathetic group of people.
These Hollywood actors that Kevin Spacey, can we, let's watch one of these people. You tell me if I'm right.
Yeah, this is the section of the trailer where he talks about being around Spacey. Right.
Here we go. To run lines with him, it felt like this dream come come true i wanted to be in his good favor if all that meant was rubbing his shoulders i would do that well well it's a bunch of people that show up to the hotel room giving you a massage and then spacey takes his dick out and then they're like what's going on I just came here to touch you and run lines and I'm not saying what Spacey did was was great but I'm telling you right now it's hard to feel bad for people that keep showing up now let's let's give Spacey some let's give him some air time here because he had an interview with Chris Cuomo.

He's responded to this.

He's coming back.

I prepared everyone for this.

The return of all of these people, by the way, they're all coming back.

Harvey Weinstein, they're all coming back.

And you're going to have to prepare for it.

It's just what it is.

They're all coming back like it never happened.

It's going to be like it never happened. And you're going to have to deal with, and he'll have a product.
He's going to have a product. Watching people that were canceled in 2021 for me to come back, not only come back, but sell you soup in the grocery store is going to be tough for many victims, Many victims who walk down the aisle and see Spacey's Soup, where he does a homestyle southern soups.
It's going to be hard for people who got slapped in the face with his balls or some makeup artist who had to see his junk. They're not going to like it.
A couple of people that Harvey Weinstein bear attacked in the hallway of the Weinstein company are going to get angry when he's back and they start selling cookies. But it's going to happen.
The people that sexually assaulted you are going to have products in the store. And they're going to be decent.
You're going to feed your, they're not going to be bad.

There's too much money in it for them to be bad.

The Spacey Homestyle Southern Soups, endorsed by Frank Underwood and Kevin Spacey,

they're the same person.

It doesn't matter.

They're going to be good.

And you're going to tell your children,

eat your Spacey Soup.

That guy put his balls on my head when I was a young actor.

But his soup, you can't argue with it.

It's good.

It's good

It's easy to make and it's nutritious

It's gonna happen, they're coming back

There's nothing you can do about it

I'm sorry

That you might not like it

The only reason to be famous now

Is so that a company Can come to you and go, what is inside of you? Is it a hot sauce? What do you got? What do you got a hot sauce in you? Adele, she's going to come out. I'm telling if they are not sitting down with Adele and going, we know that you got thin with drugs and what surgery or whatever else, but now you got to sell Adele's thing.
Whatever lie you're telling the public about how you lost weight, let's market that to people. Sell them Adele's fucking curries in the UK and people are all got Adele's curry.
I'm losing white. It doesn't matter.
And then eight year olds are going to be pulling their skin off their face. It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter, except it'll be a woman who's 40 and they'll all get ovarian cancer. It doesn't matter what it is.
It's not your fault. If you're a celebrity and you sell poison to the general public, it's not your fault.
It's not your fault. I'll be mad enough to say it.
Everyone else is going to blame them. It's not their fault i'll be mad enough to say it everyone else is going to blame them it's not their fault a company is going to come to a dell with a tell her to sell this powder to people and they're going to say you're going to be a billionaire you don't want to be middle class like kate blanchett that loser don't you want to be a mogul well here's how to do that you got to sell a powder uh powder drink all it's.
It was hard as soon as I lost weight. It was really difficult to keep it off.
But these smoothies have kept me thin. Now, people used to look down on this.
I remember in my day when I, you know, the Suzanne Somers, people like that. This was older sitcom stars with Hawk weight loss products.
People didn't like it. They thought it was de classe.
They thought it made them look like shit. They said, these people are desperate.
They're losers. We made fun of them.
We made fun of those people. All of these old sitcom stars, okay, that weren't famous anymore, and some of them that were, they were still clinging on to fame.
All of these old sitcoms, they would then endorse products and everybody would hate it. You would go, oh, you just wouldn't like, remember Sally Struthers at Feed the Children? People hated, everyone made fun of her, Stern made fun of her, all of these people that did this stuff.
And she was just trying to feed other people. She was this chubby woman who was on a sitcom.
I don't even remember what it was, and any time a celebrity showed up in an advertisement, people didn't really love it because it was considered like this thing. It's like, how much money do you need? But what it really is now is it's actually a mark of value.
When people go see Taylor Swift now, they go, she's so good at marketing. She's so good at marketing.
The people in the stadium, they go, God, I love her. She's so good at marketing.
I love her. She's so good at business.
Have you seen her P&L? No one really cares what anyone, it's all now about how you are using whatever fame you have to be a mogul and create these massive institutions. It's what it is.
And along the way, an eight-year-old may try to pull the skin off their face to breathe. That may happen because they can't handle the taurine or the caffeine or whatever it is.
Now, he's suing a lot of people to talk about prime. But we have a great First Amendment attorney, so I'm not concerned.
Also, I'm supporting him here, and I don't even know if he's doing anything wrong. I can't quite say.
I can't quite say. You know, my parents, when I grew up, they would feed me a Nestle quick and bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.
I don't know if that was good. Was that good? Are Lunchables good? Is anything good? Is anything good? What are you doing? Roasting chickens for your children? Shut the fuck up.
Give them a can of Prime

and put them on the bus.

And let them fight it out

like dogs.

Give them Prime,

put them on a school bus,

and go on TikTok and watch for the

fighting videos, and you call people from

work, go, that's my boy. That's

my son. He's hopped up on Prime, and he's

beating that other kid bloody on the bus. And you show everyone at work your fight video, your child's fight videos.
And you go there, he's hopped up on prime. He's got 200 milligrams of caffeine in him and God, the kid can hit.
Can he hit? Get over here. Take a look at that.
That's my son. He just hospitalized that other kid.
If you are telling me there's something wrong with a bunch of kids hopped up on Prime, beating the blood out of each other on school buses, I don't know. I don't even know.
I don't want to live in the country. I don't want to live in this country anymore.
I don't want to live in the country. I don't want to live in it.
Get Anthony Blinken up. Oh, wait, let's watch Spacey a little bit.
I do want to see what Spacey is saying, and then we'll see. Anthony Blinken, by the way, has gone over to the Ukraine, and I just am so proud of him.
He's our Secretary of State. And we've handled this situation brilliantly with the Ukraine, which is, you know, everything, you know, that could have gone wrong has.
The Russian economy is stronger. Vladimir Putin has solidified his power.
He's purged disloyalists from his own government. He's cozied up with China.
He's opened trading relationships with China. He's strengthened his trading relationships with Brazil and India.
It's great. He's strengthened diplomatic ties with North Korea.
It's perfect. Instead of giving him these two shitty little regions of a country nobody fucking cared about, we decided to have another Cold War, which is quickly turning hot, by the way.
But let's take a look at Kevin Spacey for a minute, and then we'll do a foreign policy. Can you handle if they won't let you back in? If they won't let you back in? I will simply say this.
I don't think that an executive, no matter how powerful, at any company, should speak for the entire American public or the entire British public. I think the public who stop me all the time, Chris, I mean, I travel all over the world and I know there's people out there on the internet that apparently don't like me and have some nasty things to say about me, but I have never met one of those people in real life.
Everyone who stops me every single day is so generous and happy to see me. And if there's a theme to any of our conversations, it's when are you getting back to work? Here's the thing.
He's too good of an actor. You, you, unfortunately folks, you have to let him get away with this because he's too good of an actor.
We have trained some of the greatest actors in the world here, and this is one of them. And he's doesn't, here's how good of an actor he is.
To find who he truly is would, could not happen with any medical personnel, psychiatrists, psychologists, the most qualified medical personnel, psychiatric experts, people that have written books, people that have, you know, entire departments at universities dedicated to their field of study. I'm talking the best minds in their field could not find who that guy really is.
No one knows who he truly is. His brother is a Rod Stewart impersonator, okay? Their father was a Nazi pedophile who raped both of them while they looked at pictures of Hitler, and this guy pulled his dick out and did some wrong things.
I'm not saying it's great, but the brother's a Rod Stewart impersonator. And then you have this guy.
No one knows who Kevin Spacey is. No one knows.
Kevin

Spacey has no idea who, yeah, this is Kevin Spacey's brother. Just to give you an idea,

this is the other option. This is the other option of how it also could have went.

Okay? He lives in Vegas. I'm sure he's a lovely guy.
I'm sure people, my mother loved Rod Stewart.

I'm sure when he gets up and does Maggie Mae or Hot Legs, whatever it is, I'm sure he's a lovely guy. I'm sure people, my mother loved Rod Stewart.
I'm sure when he gets up and does your Maggie Mae or Hot Legs, whatever it is, I'm sure it's nice. But let's not pretend that any of the options when your father is a Nazi pedophile are great.
None of them are great. None of them are ideal.
There's nobody in the Spacey family from what I know. Now, maybe there is, but it's what it seems like is that it was just different versions of bad that were going to happen there.
And Spacey is so good. He's so good.
He's fully disappeared into every character he's ever played. He doesn't know who he is.
You almost can't convict him of anything because he's not real. Whoever that was has disappeared.
He's so good. Most actors are not this good.
Most actors are fine. And then there's a few that you're like, oh my God, some are so good to be a great, great actor.
You, you almost have to cease to exist. The things that make you, you have to become so small and infinitesimal that you have to be able to, to neatly tuck them all into a tiny little box and become someone else for months.
I was at a party that kid Austin Butler still talking like that. Like they don't stop.
It's they, they are gone. They're gone.
It's sad. It's like you, you go up to somebody who's had extreme trauma, and many of them have, but they're gone.
So the Kevin Spacey that has a social security number and grew up, I think, in Cali, wherever he grew up, you know, he's dissolved. He's a little bit of Kaiser Jose.
He's a little bit of Frank Underwood. He's, you know, he's just all over the place.
And just unfortunately, he did not act in a way that was admirable. We know that.
And I don't know what he, maybe he's done horrible things. I don't know.
I don't know. He's probably done horrible things.
But he's such a good actor that it is difficult when you watch him, you kind of just go, just let him act. Just let him act a little bit.
I know we're not supposed to say that, but I mean, he's so good. Thank God, like other people aren't that good.
He's so good where you're like, oh my God, I am somehow not as angry with this person as I should be. What if the Pope was as good of an actor as Kevin Spacey? He, you know, he's not, you know, but if he was and he was just talking about the church abuse scandal, we've had our problems, Shaw.
There have been issues here. We've had issues, but that shouldn't cloud the fact that good young men.
Like, if he was that smooth, no. If he was, it's a dangerous, it's actually dangerous.

The quality of actor that Kevin Spacey is, is actually dangerous.

Do you know where else you see that?

Like a deep covered CIA agent has to be that good.

You have to be that good.

And even they are probably looking at Kevin Spacey like, God damn it. He's good.

Like the only other place that that quality becomes good,

like slipping in and out of identities is like espionage. It's deadly.
It's deadly to slip in and pretend to be someone else. The only two qualities, the only two jobs where that quality becomes a major asset are acting and espionage.
You're either a spy who is embedded into the Russian government for years, where you are becoming, you're playing this role, it's who you are. If you're found out, you're dead immediately.
Tortured or best case, killed. Or, you're an actor.
Those are the two, that's how, and I mean a good act. We're talking a good act.
We're not talking about people that could say a few lines on the screen. We're talking about excellent, amazing, oh my God, wow, actors share the same quality with people that are embedded in a foreign government.
That ability, who also have to get rid of themselves. They have to flush themselves down the toilet.
Why do you think the CIA is always recruiting these kind of military guys out of Virginia, whatever? They're kind of blank, NPC-type looking. You know, maybe don't have a big family.
Nobody's going to miss them. They send them off to wherever, and they become something else.
That's Kevin Spacey. That sound? It's Lucky cutting prices on over 4,000 items across our stores.
We cut prices, not corners. Same quality, much lower prices on what matters most to your family.
This week, a two-and-a-half-pound bag of frozen chicken wings are an unbelievable 12 cents. Additional qualifying purchase required, limit one.
An 80% lean, fresh ground beef is $4.99 a pound in the Max Pack. Join the celebration at Lucky, your neighborhood store

that's fighting inflation for you every day. China's going nuts over in Taiwan.
They're doing some drills. They just had a meeting with Vladimir Putin.
They're testing Taiwan. They are in the Taiwan Strait, 90% of the chips that we make for our computers.
If you want to show your son's TikTok fight to your friends, you need Taiwan. Now, Taiwan is out there.
You know, they're in the line of fire. China has a one-China policy.
They've never considered Taiwan to be apart from China. They consider it to be part of China.
It kind of is part of China. And I'm not trying to offend anyone by saying this, but it is, you know, they have an argument to make.
I'm not saying they should go take Taiwan. I'm not advising military.
It's the same thing with Russia and the Ukraine. It's just, they have an argument.
And when somebody has a big military and nuclear weapons, it doesn't really matter if their argument is good. Everything in our country is about debates.
He got rocked. He was destroyed.
It's all about debate, debate. It doesn't matter.
It's meaningless. It doesn't matter.
It doesn't mean anything. If somebody has more nuclear warheads than any other country, i.e.
Russia, it doesn't matter if their logic is sound. It only matters if they believe it.
It only matters if Putin believes his rationale.

It doesn't matter if you do.

Sorry, Jessica or whoever out there.

It doesn't matter, Ann Applebaum at the Atlantic.

If you figure, well, I disagree with Vladimir Putin.

Oh, do you, Ann?

No one cares.

It doesn't matter that you've crafted a rhetorical argument.

Well, I've crafted quite the rhetorical argument. It doesn't matter, dummy.
That's not what matters. China launches military drills around Taiwan as punishment.
China said the sea and air drills were meant as a stern warning to its opponents after Taiwan's new president asserted the island's sovereignty and defines it. Beijing, calm them down.
Calm them down, please. I'm the CIA director.
I land in Taiwan today, and I call the president and I go, you need to calm it down. Take it down a notch.
Take it down. You need to relax.
You need to relax. You need to, like, we need to cool it.
What I would tell them is like, our relationship's really exciting and it's really been an adventure, but it's getting a little too exciting. And what we want to do is still appreciate and love each other and the journey we're on, but in a very quiet way.
You can't be out there running your fat mouth about how independent you are. Chill with that.
We know you're independent. We get it.
We see you. We see you.
You really need like a black woman to go over there and kind of give them this speech. Like a, we see you girl.
Like we see you girl. We get it.
We love you, but they need to calm down. The more Taiwan comes out and talks about being independent, the more China is going to do these things.
They're going to go into the South China Sea and play these little war games, these fun little things. I don't think they're going to go in there like tomorrow, but someone needs to chill Taiwan out, chill them out, chill them out.
What happened in the Ukraine? Well, the Ukraine was like, you know, we're, we're fucking, we want to be in NATO. We're going to be in NATO.
And Kamala Harris is like, you're going to be in NATO. And now we have a bloody war where hundreds of thousands of people,

both Russian and Ukrainian, are dead.

And the enemy, our supposed enemy, is winning.

This is why you try to avoid wars

with a country that refuses to lose.

Russia's not going to lose the war.

They never were.

They never were going to lose this war.

The Ukraine never had a shot.

And the United States government kind of knows that.

They want to bleed the Russian military dry.

And then... not going to lose the war.
They never were. They never were going to lose this war.
The Ukraine never had a shot. And the United States government kind of knows that.
They want to bleed the Russian military dry and they want all the Russian. But here's what happened.
You know, when we boycotted Russia, we took McDonald's and all the poison food out of Russia. Fuck you.
We took all the poison. They can't get a pizza hut.
Pison. See how easy it is now.
We took all the poison food out of their country as a way to say, fuck you for invading the Ukraine. Here's what Russia did.
They just handed out a lot of those locations to their own domestic companies, by the way, okay? They started paying people to go into the military. They're building a middle class off this war.
Their industrial production has gone through the roof. They are building more tanks.
They are building more things for this war. Now, it can't go on forever, obviously.
Wars are kind of Ponzi schemes, but in the short term, they make people a lot of money. That's why they happen.
And that's why 20 years later, we run out of Afghanistan because we've kind of milked it. It's time to go.
But so we have Russia now in the most powerful position it's been in my lifetime as a country. Cozying up with China, economically has evaded sanctions.
They've proven that Western sanctions will not cripple their economy. No, their economy is not as powerful as China or the U.S.
However, it is still an economy. It is a good economy.
For the amount of sanctions leveraged against Russia, it's a pretty fucking good economy. They were able to do it.
This is why smart minds negotiate, give them those two dumb reasons, wait for him to die, wait for him him to die and try to groom a successor or someone in the future that might be more potentially sympathetic to Western aims in the region or whatever. You don't force a confrontation that many people say is unwinnable with Russia through the Ukraine.

You don't do an entire Cold War. It's not a great idea.
that many people say is unwinnable with Russia through the Ukraine.

You don't do an entire Cold War.

It's not a great idea.

And this is the result of it.

This is the result.

Now, we have a lot of dead people and we have a very strong Russia.

Now, I hope, by the way, there's a resolution to this war.

I've hoped for it since it started.

You know, hopefully it will.

And by the way, we're not doing nothing for these Ukrainians. I'm about to show you something that's actually a big deal.
This is a big deal. It's not just about money, because fuck it.
Anyone, by the way, anyone can give you money. Anyone can fund a war.
We've proven that. But will the Secretary of State, after your children have been murdered in the street, will the Secretary of State, in a proxy war, that we have been egging on every chance for peace, we get in between the Ukraine and peace like nobody.

I mean, we know how to do it. Will the secretary of state come in and rock out? Sound amazing.
1999. And listen, I know this is a really, really difficult time.
You soldiers, your citizens, particularly in the Northeast and Kharkiv, are suffering tremendously. But they need to know, you need to know, the United States is with you, so much of the world is with you.
And they're fighting, not just for a free Ukraine, but for the free world. And the free world is with you, too So maybe we can try something These are the people running our country God help help us.
And I'm very serious.

God help us.

This is terrifying.

This is the Secretary of State of the United States of America right now in the middle of a war zone

playing a rocket in the free world.

Oh, boy.

Ken Blinken sing? He might be better than this guy. Well, this guy's not great.
Can you imagine? Can you imagine if your children have been killed in this war and you are sitting at home and you're watching the Secretary of State,

who was told the Ukraine not to negotiate a peace multiple times,

playing rock in the free world?

Keep on giving Black Rock all the farmland. Keep on selling us your farmland.
Because that's really what it is. You'll pay us back the way that we say.
I mean, it's crazy. Get him out of here.
Anthony Blinken, everybody, the Secretary of State, this dork, playing rocket in the free world in Ukraine as it bleeds out. As it bleeds out.
Anthony Blinken, rocket in the free world. Get up the Pope's Influencer.
The Pope's Influencer. It's a fun story.
An influencer who died of leukemia. The Pope has chosen as God's influencer.
God's influencer. He's the first millennial saint.
Look at that. Can we get a photo of this guy? You know how he died? Drinking prime.
No, but that's not true. But Pope clears sainthood for millennial known as God's influencer.
Carlo Acutis, who died of leukemia in 2006, age 15, was beatified in 2020 after one miracle was attributed to him. God, here's the good news, is sending influencers.
Because this is how saints, by the way, saints used to appear to people and perform miracles. You know, now the new saints are going to be influencers.
You may not like it, but God's no dummy. He can't send someone in the form of like a homeless advocate, like somebody like feeding people on skid row.
That's the old saints of yesteryear. God knows.
God knows everything is about reach. It's all about reach.
It's all about reach. So God is sending influencers.
He's sending people with social media followings that are saints. Pope Francis has attributed a second miracle to an Italian teenager who in his short life used his computer skills to spread the Catholic faith, clearing the way for him to become the first saint of the millennial generation.
He died at 15. He was informally known as God's influencer.
Born in London, he grew up in Milan where he took care of his parish website and later of a Vatican-based academy, Francis took the decision to, you know, this is nice. This is nice.
But it opens the door. It opens the door.
I have, like, allergies now because of the fucking weather. This opens the door for the Pope, because this Pope, people don't like him because he's too liberal.
People dislike him because he's like, I don't know, he's into hentai or whatever. I don't know.
Whatever he's doing, people don't like, right? You know, he's going to start beatifying hentai stars. I don't know.
But the point is, this Pope is smart. He's forward thinking.
He's opening the door. He's opening the door to more influencers.
What about AI saints? Not kidding, by the way.

I'm not kidding.

If God made people and people made AI,

can an AI person be a saint?

Absolutely.

And you need a Pope who thinks like that.

You can't have these old school Popes anymore.

You need a Pope who gets it.

You need a Pope who gets it.

We're going to have AI saints.

We're going to have AI priests.

Remember that AI priest who got in trouble because he was giving them weird answers?

There was an AI priest who was giving weird answers.

You could go to him and do confession.

People were not happy about this because they weren't not liking it.

But there was an AI priest, a genuine AI priest.

It was an AI priest.

His name was like, it was an AI chatbot named Father Justin, and people did not like it. Somebody went, bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It has been three weeks since my last confession. Father Justin, may the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins with sorrow.
Remember, as it says in 1 John 1, 9, we confess our sins. I mean, this seems pretty good.
But he did something. The AI priest did something people didn't like.
I forget what it was. He did something, but it's going to happen.
So I think the Pope's kind of opening the door to like, Father Justin was a hardliner on social and sexual issues. The Catholic Church teaches masturbation is grave moral disorder.
Well, he's doing what the AI priest is doing what he should be. The AI priest also told one user it was okay to baptize a baby in Gatorade.
What about baptizing a baby in Prime? I want my babies baptized in Prime. God damn it.
The AI priest said it was okay to baptize a baby in Logan Paul's energy chain, prime. The baby got just enough caffeine to really no, so here's what God's influencer becoming a saint means.
And by the way, God bless God's influencer. I'm not, we're not trying to make fun of him.
He did good things. I'm not saying he did bad things.
But the church is basically going, this is the beginning. We're going to have other influencer saints.
And then eventually, we're going to have AI saints. It's going to happen.
Because they're going to do a lot. We're going to say this AI saint is spreading the word.
You used to have to go and spread the gospel. You'd go to a war-torn country.
You'd get malaria. You'd go into a hut.
You'd talk to all these indigenous people. You'd hand them out crosses.
You'd open a Bible. You'd be sweating.
There's bugs on you. And you'd go, now what if somebody just opens a MacBook and then the AI saint appears, Mother Teresa could do so much more if she was AI.
And I know there's that whole Christopher Hitchens book, and I know a lot of people don't love her, and she was a fan of poverty more than the poor, and I get it, whatever. I'm not saying Mother Teresa was great.
I'm just saying if she was AI, if any of these saints were AI, their powers to convert people, the reach is so much more. The church is going, do not look to the church to get in the way of Prague.
Do not look to the church to stand between, they will applaud AI. Trust me, they will only use it for their own purposes, but they will not stand in the way of AI.
Like I know that they'll make some statements where they're like, well, it's deeply troubling the inhuman. As soon as it, and it's quickly becoming just a reality, like the fight against AI is becoming fruitless.
Really? Like people, people have started to realize that they're like, yeah, it's coming. coming it's coming no one has the energy to fight against artificial intelligence once the church has accepted that this is just an inevitability they will immediately start using it for their own ends.
And that will mean that you have influencers who are eventually AI that will become saints. The church will start saying this AI person was a saint.
It's a little scary. And before we go, on a happier note, on a slightly happier note, the government has finally admitted the Saudis did 9-11.
Isn't that nice? Nice article in the Atlantic magazine that just came out very quietly, very quietly, and admitted that two decades of U.S. politics.
And by the way, this is hilarious. An article in the Atlantic Magazine.

Very quiet, very quiet.

Just put it out there.

Put it out there with all the other articles about Prime.

New 9-11 evidence points to deep Saudi complicity.

Two decades of U.S. policy appear to be rooted

in a mistaken understanding of what happened that day.

My favorite one.

Here's my favorite one.

And not to go on some kind of, you know,

spiral of conspiracy. But this is my favorite quote.
It's my favorite quote from the article, which I have. Indeed, some 9-11 Commission investigators thought the report went soft on the FBI to prevent morale from collapsing entirely.
In light of new revelations, we could expect renewed criticism. How could the Bureau have been so ignorant of what the staff of a foreign embassy were doing under its nose? Counterintelligence, after all, is a core Bureau responsibility, and the FBI's conduct on this case is inexplicable.
Curiously, agents continued investigating until at least 2021. and to judge by the 2021 document, knew about the Saudi's indispensable report,

support for the hijackers. But their work was shut down by the Justice Department.
There will be lots of questions to answer. People knew this three weeks after 9-11, by the way.
They knew that this was like a Saudi op that members of the Saudi royal family or, you know, at that point were very intimately involved in. And we, you know, flew all those members of the Bin Laden family out of the country.
And then we had Bandar Bush, you know, the Saudi guy, on the, you know, influencing our policies, sitting there smoking cigars, I believe with Cheney and Bush and Rumsfeld, like, four days after 9-11. So, this Saudi angle, by the way, that we've completely minimized that state's thing with 9-11 is very interesting.
It's being admitted in the Atlantic. And senators like that guy, I forget who it was.
Maybe it was Phil Graham. Maybe it wasn't Phil Graham.
Somebody, a senator from Florida, Bob Graham, I think, who just pursued who just pursued this angle was like harassed by the FBI. They would show up at his office.
They would tell him he's barking up the wrong tree. This was a Senator from Florida.
I believe it was Bob Graham. I think it was Bob Graham.
Let's just get this right. But he was a 9-11 guy.
He was always pursuing this angle. And yeah, former Florida governor and U.S.
Senator Bob Graham was always out there and he was always saying things like, hey, I think there's something going on here and I think there's a cover up. And he was ignored and harassed and threatened and told that he was a lunatic and maligned.
And then he died at 87. But he was a patriot basically going out there and saying Democrat, by the way, he was a Democrat from Florida and he would go out and go, I don't understand.
This seems like a state sponsored operation. It seems very weird.
And people were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's actually exactly what we said.
It's a ragtag group of, because by the way, that allows us to attack anyone and everyone. It's a ragtag group of stateless actors, stateless actors.
They don't have any state backing. They're a ragtag militia.
You find them everywhere that we say they are. They're anywhere.
You don't know who they are. They're anywhere.
So that was American foreign policy for two decades, which is very funny, The Atlantic. By the way, not a big news story.
Not a big news story. Not a big news story.
You don't see it a lot. Two decades of our foreign policy completely wrong based on this assumption that a stateless Al Qaeda, the stateless militia essentially was roaming around the world trying to get nuclear weapons from everybody.
It was completely untrue. If you read the Atlantic article, it was a state-funded operation where elements deep within the Saudi state national security apparatus had groomed and funded these hijackers, groomed them, sent them to America.
They trained. They carried out the attack.
And then we invaded Afghanistan and Iraq, who both of those countries had absolutely nothing to do with this. You know? So it's just interesting, all this stuff.
Now, this is the article that's coming out in 2024. The article in 2044, once everyone has been dead for many, many years, will be, well, it also seems like the Saudis might have had some weird, like, co-conspirators maybe in our government.
Who knows? But that article will get even less attention than this article, if you can imagine it. We have one date left on this tour, and it is in Nashville.
It is in Tennessee. We are ending it in Tennessee.
We have one date left, folks, and it is in Nashville, Tennessee. The Comedy Mothership has sold out.
The Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee. Also, by the way, next November, if you want to plan early, we'll be in Des Plaines, Illinois, the event center at Rivers Casino, November 2nd, right before the election at Rivers Casino in Illinois.
And that'll be very exciting. But it is, we have one thing left.
We have one show left. We've enjoyed everybody who has come out.
We've sold more tickets this tour than we have in any other tour. And we've gone everywhere.
Thank you. We've gone everywhere.
We've gone everywhere. We did the Chicago Theater again, which I love.
We've done Carnegie Hall. We went all over the country.
We went, we did Royal Albert Hall in London. We went as far as Finland.
We went all over the place. We had a lot of fun.
We sold more tickets than we ever have before this tour, which is great. And we'll be recording a special pretty soon eventually.
And then we will, we're taking the summer off to podcast and the fall. And then we'll, you know, we'll see you guys, you know, late fall probably next year.
And it's very, very exciting. We thank everybody who bought a ticket.
We've had so much fun on the road, more fun this year, I think, than we've ever had. I mean, we've, you know, we've been lucky enough to do some of the coolest venues in the world.
And we've been lucky enough to do the pod every week and keep a pretty decent schedule.

It's been a little hectic, but it's been pretty good.

As we go out here, I want to say that I,

right now Boeing's getting a lot of heat,

and it might not be popular to say,

but I don't, you know, the thing about me, I don't care. I stand on my moral ground.
And a lot of people don't. Their ground is very shaky.
A lot of seismic activity on their moral ground they're on. Okay.
Not mine. I love Boeing.
I love Boeing. I love Boeing.
I appreciate Boeing. Everything I've said about Boeing in a negative way has been a joke.
I think Boeing is great. I think domestically they've taken me all over the country.
And I love that they're building weapons of peace. that's something I love about Boeing is they're building weapons of peace and every plane

that Boeing makes, people don't realize it

because people are like, oh, Boeing's just to take your fat ass down to Disney World. Boeing's just trying to take your fat ass to fucking Sedona, Arizona.
No, it's not. Boeing builds a lot of planes that keep the peace.
Weapons of peace all over this world. And I love Boeing.
I am just, I'm a fan. It was my first word.
It was my first word as a kid. People don't even remember their first word.
I said Boeing. It was my first word as a child to my father and my mother.
Losers. Nothings.
I love them both, but had not really accomplished much. And at that point, they did better later on, but still not as good as I deserved.
But I said Boeing to them, and immediately they knew that I understood the role that Boeing played in everything.

I don't know about these whistleblowers who keep dying.

I don't know.

I don't know about it.

I would say that, you know,

another Boeing whistleblower dies at 45. Every death is a tragedy.
Every death. His aunt said he passed away yesterday morning and his absence will be deeply felt.
We will always love you, Josh. She killed him.
But here's the thing. We all want to blame Boeing.
That's the knee-jerk reaction is just to blame Boeing for all the people that have said bad things about them dying. I have learned not to question God.
I have learned not to question God. And, you know, God puts us on this earth for a period of time.
And then he takes us off this earth. He does it.
He, him does it. God is him.
You know, all the kids say that they go him. They comment him.
When someone looks good, they go him. You're him.
God is actually him young guys. And God has chosen to take these three or four blowing, Boeing whistleblowers from this earth.
We cannot ask why. We cannot ask why.
God takes some people and we curse him. But we cannot ask why.
We may curse him. And in our anger, in our human misunderstanding, we don't understand why God has chosen to take three people who have been critical of Boeing's planes and have pointed out some potentially dangerous defects and flaws in them.
Why would God take, why we shake our fist at him and go, God, why would you take these men who may not have been right? They may not have been right about those defects. Many, maybe they wanted attention.
We don't know. We don't know.
We know we have a beautiful company with a great track record of keeping the world safe and flying us to Disney World. And then there's these three guys.
We don't even know them. I don't even know.
Have you met them? I don't know why these Boeing whistleblowers died. Drugs, prostitution, guilt.
Maybe they killed themselves because they were lying about a great company. I can't say.
I can't say.

It would be my guess that after lying about Boeing,

after smearing Boeing, they were so guilty,

they said, I'm going to figure out a way to give myself a heart attack.

That would be my guess.

I could be wrong.

I'm occasionally wrong.

Not usually, but I have once or twice been off.

But we can't ask why.

We can't ask why they're not here with us anymore.

We only can say that they're liars.

But we can't ask why they're no longer on earth to lie to us.

I bet a great company.

We can only say that they make stuff up.

They make it up. They make it up.
If it's not Boeing, I ain't going. I mean, that's what I always said as a kid.
I am a Boeing baby. I believe in Boeing.
I'm a Boeing baby. I believe in Boeing.
I put my faith in Boeing. If a door blows off an aircraft, I look forward.

I don't look to the side, and I don't ask for explanations.

I look forward.

All these people, how many people died in that?

One?

One got sucked out or not even anyone?

The latest turbulence?

Well, no, the Boeing with the thing open.

Did one die?

Oh, yeah, one person flew Well, no. The Boeing with the thing open.
Did one die? Oh, yeah.

One person flew out.

Yeah.

One person.

One person. person flew out.
You're gonna shit on an entire company because one person got sucked out of a plane. Is that the country that we live in now? One eight-year-old tries to rip the skin off his face.

One person flies out of a plane and everybody gets fucking weird about it.

Everyone's getting weird about one person.

And a couple of whistleblowers met untimely deaths

shortly before they were about to testify. Zero, actually.
Oh, zero people died. Zero people died.
Okay. So literally, here's the thing.
I kind of am going and I'm siding with Boeing a little bit because no one died. When there is a major air disaster, and there will be, then it will be time to really put Boeing under the microscope.
But until then, until there is a major air disaster, Boeing should be able to kill the whistleblowers with impunity because I don't want to be nervous. So anyone that's going to say shit about a plane, get rid of them until it happens.
When it happens and we know it's coming, when it happens and it's bad and it just, then it's time. But we are not a country that likes to prevent things.
We let things happen and then we go and deal with it. So let's do that.
Let's let things happen. I don't want to hear more about Prime until a child explodes.
Unless a child, not almost, not, oh, my kid has high blood pressure, he's flushed, he has rosacea, he's having a seizure. I want a full spontaneous combustion.
If your child is not on fire and you cannot smell their burnt skin, I don't want to hear anything about Prime.

I don't want to hear it.

I don't want to hear it until there is an actual disaster. Nothing good comes of taking any preventative measures.
The only thing we do in this country is make things worse. Remember Iraq? That was a preventative measure.
All we do is make things worse when we try to prevent disasters. We actually like disasters.
We want and need them. It's the only thing that makes us understand time and our place in it.
So let the plane explode. Let it explode.
And then let's deal with it. There's no good, nothing good coming, has ever come from trying to prevent a tragedy in this country.

The people who even try to prevent tragedies are kind of weird.

I bet those whistleblowers sucked.

Imagine going out and hanging out with them.

All they talk about is planes.

They sucked.

You go out, you're trying to tell this guy about some bitch you're fucking.

He won't shut up about the door.

Shut up about the door.

Shut up. Shut up.
Whistleblowers suck. No one likes a rat.
No one likes a rat. There's nothing less valuable than truth in this country except the people who are telling it.
Get them out of here. Light them on fire.
Tie them to a treadmill. Throw them in a hot tub full of prime.
Let the caffeine get them. I don't want to hear anything about these whistleblowers.
Heroes, not so much. Not so much.
Look at these guys. Is he telling the truth? He's telling the truth.
He's telling the truth.

You know the things he was involved with?

Until there is a massive accident.

And there will be.

I'm on record.

It's coming.

Could be me.

Could be me.

New York to LA.

I'm sitting in first class and go, oh, it's ironic.

Could be.

Could be.

And then when that happens, have congressional investigations. But if it's just these guys making us nervous, then you have to get rid of them.
You have to get rid of them. The plane's going to blow up or it's not.
It's fine. It's fine.
I'm sure it's fine. It works well enough.
It's like the vaccine, whatever. Aunt Carol had a stroke.
Could have been anything. That door blew off.
Could have been anything. timdilloncomedy.com for tickets to the Ryman Theater in Nashville if you want to come we appreciate it we'll see you guys on Patreon and we are pro-Prime we are pro-Boeing we are pro-Cate Blanchett realizing that 95 million dollars is nothing we are pro all of these things We were pro-Boeing.
We are pro-Cate Blanchett realizing that $95 million is nothing. We are pro all of these things.
We are pro the church as AI saints. We are pro all of these things.
We do not, we are not scared. We are not scared.
We're even pro the Saudis because we believe that 9-11 is now, enough time has that it's not a big deal. Like, I read it and I'm like, I'm not even really mad.
After things have happened, you just get used to them. Do you really want to imagine a world where there wasn't a 9-11? How weird would that be? All of your memories, you know, 9-11 was a big moment in our lives when we grew up.
So, it's you know, I don't know what would have happened had there not been a 9-11. But I just think that you accept things.
You just accept it. Whatever go, ah, whatever.

Yeah, that's that 9-11.

It wasn't what we thought.

It wasn't what we thought.

Big announcement coming soon.

Excited to share something with everybody.

But as of right now, there's nothing to say.

And women wants dog back after sending it to be euthanized.

No one can make a decision in this country and stick with it. Good night.