392 - Eurovision & Jerry Seinfeld's Pop-Tart Movie

This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash. Saving and investing can feel impossible, but with Stash, it's a reality.
It's easy. Stash is an interesting investing app.
It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster. They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals.
Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert-managed portfolio that picks stocks for you. Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month.
Don't let your savings sit around. Make it work harder for you.
Go to getstash.com slash T-I-M to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view your important disclosures. That's get.stash.com slash Tim.
That's get.stash.com slash Tim. Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients, and not a guarantee.
Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC-registered investment advisor. Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We are sorry we missed last week.
I was at the Kill Tony show at the Forum in L.A. What an epic night of comedy.
I believe you can still purchase that for the Netflix is a joke festival. I appreciate that.
I was in the elevator with the CEO of Netflix. And I, you know, was very, he shook my hand.
He said, people say nice things about you. And I said, thank you.
And I was in the elevator with my agent. And I was just telepathically saying my agent just don't say anything.
And he didn't. Well, the CEO was a very nice guy.
You know, we have a lot of fun with people on the show, and you never know who's upset or not. We don't know.
We'll revisit that later, because we've got to talk about a few things I don't want to talk about. We've got to talk about this new Seinfeld film, and I don't want to do it.
This is not the part of the job I really enjoy doing, to be quite honest with you, because I love and respect many people in that film. I do have to discuss it, though.
I actually have to talk about it. It's happening.
It's something that is happening in the culture. That film, Unfrosted, the story of the Pop-Tart, I have to discuss it.
And I think he gave a great commencement speech at Duke. And there was only a few young kids that walked out.
And the media acted like everybody walked out. Like the entire crowd got up and, you know, jeered at Jerry Seinfeld and then, you know, stormed out of the graduation.
But that's not what happened. There was a few kids that were, you know, protesting him, I guess, for being Jewish.
Because it's not like he was doing a commencement speech going, kill them all. You know, that's not what he was doing.
He wasn't up there being like, they shouldn't even get aid. Like, that's not what he was doing.
Why would they get aid? Humanitarian aid. I can't really even.
But the point is, he's not doing that. He's just talking about, you know, political correctness or whatever he's on now.
And I think he made a lot of good points about you're going to need your sense of humor. You're going to need your sense of humor.
And a couple of people laughed and they got mad. But I thought he did a great job.
But we got to discuss that movie. Because, I mean, the scenes i've seen this here's what i would say in gaza right now i have seen some of the most horrible things that i have ever seen on my phone you look at your phone and you see children crushed by rubble bleeding mean, any moral person cannot look at these images and not be affected.
This Pop-Tart thing, worse, worse, somehow, more disturbing. It's actually more disturbing than the Gaza images, and they are bad.
I just said that. I just said that.
So don't come at me and yell at me now. I just told you these images are, I've never seen anything and they're all over the place and they're on your phone.
This would have changed the way people felt about the Iraq war. If you were in the grocery store and there was a live feed from Abu Ghraib prison where they were, you know, torturing people.
And you were at the deli counter in the grocery store and you were going, I have pound of cracked pepper turkey. You know, then you got to stand there while they do it.
And you can't look too impatient because you have to go, well, you know, I'm a lucky guy that I don't do this. Right? That's a whole game at the deli counter.
You can't look too impatient. You have to take stock of the choices you've made and went, well, you know, that's right.
You know, everybody will, they'll come out of this. They'll come out of this deli counter life and they'll go somewhere else.
I'm sure. But you know, that's not happening, but you just got to stay there anyway and kind of go, I have panic.
And then you can't yell the next one until they finish, you know, because they give you a look. If you're like, and some ham, oh, you just, you did.
No, no, no, I'll get it. Well, well, no worries.
Don't worry. And then there's someone next to you and you're all holding numbers.
You're like, did they go? It's a whole thing. But if in that, during that process, when you were trying to figure out how quickly can I yell the next meet at this, you know, probably now person with Down syndrome now that's working.
How quickly can I yell the next meet at this thing behind the counter so that I don't look bad? You know, sometimes you go and you yell three meets and the person with Down syndrome is just like, damn. And I go, yeah, that's right.
You're right. I'm wrong.
It's true. If during that time you pulled out your phone, let's say it's 2004 and you were just, you know, or 2003, 4, 5, whatever.
And you pull out your phone and you just saw a live feed of torture from Abu Ghraib. Just these naked guys that were shivering and pissing and shitting themselves and being beaten by guards and being woken up in the middle of the night and screaming and having night terrors and then being stacked up on top of each other.
all the while you were waiting at the deli counter for a cracked pepper turkey, maybe a honey turkey, a boar's head ham, a black forest ham, whatever the case may be, a pound of macaroni salad, a pound of potato salad. If you were waiting at the deli counter and you were just watching people being, I mean, you you, hear screams, you hear script.
If you take your phone out now on any app, by the way, I don't even, I'm not even on Tik TOK like that. I'm usually I'll go on Instagram and just put, you know, post a link to a show.
Like I have at the Ryman in Nashville in June. That's what they call integration.
And I will just take it out.

And then, you know, you get a few cooking videos, you know,

and then, ah!

And it's people running and fleeing this onslaught of bombing.

And you just have to close it pretty quickly.

Or every now and then someone will catch you watching people screaming and fleeing and you just have to kind of look at them and shake your head. You have to go.
You have to go like this. You have to go.
Not good. And if you could, because it is a thing now, how much of the war can you consume? And how much of it can you consume publicly? It's a new thing.
It's a new, this is a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that never came out because they ended the show. But it would be like Larry in a cafe watching the Gaza war.
And it would be very loud. And it would just be like, and then people would be like, well, you can, you please put your phone on silent.
But it's terrible. This is terrible.
This thing that we're all watching unfold. And there's mass and the mass.
And this Pop-Tart film is worse than this in ways I can't explain. It's actually worse in ways where you go, I'm watching babies get made into soup with my money.
And I didn't say yes. I did not co-sign any of it.
And still, I would not switch over to this fucking Pop-Tart thing. Because it's terrible.
And I love many of the people in it. I went to Barry Weiss's wife's book party the other night.
I was there. Many other luminaries, Lloyd Blankfein, the head of Goldman Sachs, Graydon Carter, the head of Vanity Fair, Ariana Huffington, myself, members of the New York media elite were there.
Barry Weiss's wife, Nellie Balls, has written a new book. Let's get it up.
It's called Morning After the Revolution. Dispatches from the wrong side of history.
Nellie Balls. Now let me explain to you what this book is about.
It's not a political book. I thought it was more politics.
Here's what it is. Barry Weiss's wife Nellieie, was shipwrecked in the Indian Ocean when she was a young reporter and survived for 30 days, literally, on a piece of floating scrap metal, and she survived by eating her own pussy.
For 30 days. That's the only nutrition she got was eating her own pussy.
That's what this book is about. That's what this is about.
So if you're interested in that, and I am, that's why I read it. It's crazy.
Who would think to do it? But apparently if you're floating on a piece of scrap metal in the Indian Ocean,

you just start eating your own pussy for sustenance.

That's the whole thing.

And it's good.

It's a good book.

It's a little repetitive towards the end when she goes,

and while eating my pussy again.

But it's true.

I'm going to... of towards the end when she goes, and I, while eating my pussy again, but it's true.
I wanted to talk about this young guy who died at Goldman Sachs because, was it Goldman Sachs? Maybe it wasn't. It was a Wall Street firm.
He was 35 years old, and he died because, I believe he was also a Green Beret. Yeah, he was a Green Beret.
Bank of America. Bank of America, and this guy died.
This is sad. He was 35 years old, and he died.
And no one, you know, he had a cardiac thing, right? Yeah, cardiac event, just something from two weeks after he completed a big deal. Right.
But nobody knows if, you know, but here's the deal. His death came after he had allegedly been working some 100 hours a week for several weeks in a row.
So he had an acute coronary artery thrombus. I'm not a doctor.
And, you know, now everybody's going, should these investment banking guys work 100 hours a week and die? Yes. Yes, this is part of the thing.
I defended this. And I read, I actually wrote something.
If you go to timdillantalks.tumblr.com. This is something that I wrote years ago when this happened.
One of the Goldman Sachs interns jumped out of a window. And this was a debate.
Again, they always, every now and then they have these debates in the finance world. Should we be as hardcore as we are? And the answer always is yes.
And this is something I wrote about this at the time. Again, I'm disgusted.
Goldman Sachs has banned the all-nighter and ordered interns to leave at midnight because one died in the shower and another jumped out of his window because he was, quote, worked to death. Boo-hoo-hoo.
If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Finance is a culture about pushing yourself to the extreme, and the all-nighter is a rite of passage for many young finance guys.
If these guys wanted to be pussies, they could have been teachers. The reward is extreme wealth if you make it through this grueling process.
People should die. And everyone should pour out some Dom Perignon and move the fuck on.
We never heard about this during the 80s when Wall Street was dominated by cocaine snorting alpha males. Now we've got a bunch of Adderall eating nerds raised on Degrassi and bullying seminars.
So yeah, some of these tulips are going to jump out of windows. These people are soldiers in the war of wealth.
We've criminalized success in this country. We love failures and sob stories.
We cater to weakness. We've become an after-school special.
We've bought into the idea that people don't earn their money. It's put under their pillow at night.
This idea helps all the nothings sleep at night. So let's bring back the all-nighter.
I want these kids work to the brink of insanity. I want them jumping out of windows.
I want them dropping dead of exhaustion. I want them tough.
China's coming after all. Every litter has a runt.
The problem with this country now is that everybody's a runt. Every no good town employee union stude should be worked to death.
What a glorious way to die. What happened to Bob? He was worked to death.
People get into finance because they don't want to end up janitors cleaning up some kids puke in the cafeteria. They have more to offer the world, but sometimes they're wrong.
Sometimes they're the janitor all along, but they can't face that.

I don't blame them.

So they decide that the manly thing to do is remove themselves from the equation altogether.

They're correct.

So they try to fly from their window, but they end up splattered on the concrete.

Jumping out of your luxury apartment window is better than never having a luxury apartment in the first place.

Don't let anyone tell you different.

That's something that I wrote in, I don't know, I believe 2015, 2016. What I'm saying is this is not new.
This is not new. None of this is new.
None of these debates are new. All of these finance guys really go hard, and occasionally somebody bites it.
And I don't, it's sad. He had a wife and kids and I, I understand the human cost, but you know, somebody has to die.
It's sad. Stop showing his photo.
It's like he's from beyond the grave creeping me out. Need to look at his photo while I make this argument.
I'm saying this. You want to respect, what if we said no one in the military can die? What if we said that? Would we ever say that? Nobody's going to die.
Imagine giving that speech at West Point and none of you will ever die. No.
People die all the time. And this guy chose to dedicate his life to making exorbitant amounts of money.
Not even inhuman amounts of money. He wanted to close meteoric deals, massive success, gobs of money, more money than most people listening to this show could ever imagine in their life, more money than I can imagine.
He wanted the kind of money that inherently has some risk associated with it. Making that kind of money is not easy.
It takes a strain on your physical and mental health, emotionally. And if you want that kind of, we cannot protect you.
If you want to be a spy, you may die. If you want to be an elite athlete, you may die.
You know? These are jobs that require more than what you should give.

My job doesn't really require that. Not really.
That's why I do it. That's why I do it.
It requires just enough. But an elite athlete, it requires a lot.
You're going to get up. You know, when you're an elite athlete every day, you have to get up every day in the morning and you have to have a routine every morning because you're an elite athlete and you push your body to the left.
And some of those people, they die. Some of those marathon runners are in great shape and in the middle of a marathon, they go, and they're done.
And that's just because you're pushing your money. When you are trying to make mountains of money, God, God, money, money, money, sometimes you're going to drop dead.
And unfortunately, that's what happens. And I know that we want to protect people from that.
We want to try to create a world where that doesn't happen. But this guy's a type A guy.
He was a Green Beret. This guy was a legit Green Beret, and he didn't die there.
He died on Wall Street. But what are you going to do? You can't make Wall Street into something that is different from what it is.
It's a place where type A people go to make more money than any human being should in questionable ways. They're not inventing anything.
They're not, you know, it's not like they came up, they had this great idea. They're just low to the ground, sucking money out of the system, keeping their ear low to the ground.
And when you do that, sometimes you have to spend a lot of time. So instead of sleeping or treating your body, you know, you are out, you're not treating your body with the respect it deserves.
You're out there making money. And, and, and sometimes you have an event and it's unfortunate, but there's nothing to be done.
This happens every few years.

An intern can't take it.

That's what I wrote that thing about.

Every now and then an intern jumps out of their window. Well,

so what?

So what?

What are we supposed to do?

You want it or not?

Do you want the money or not?

No one forced you to do this.

You could be a teacher in Minnesota.

You don't have to be a Wall Street guy. It's like the military.
That's what I'm saying. It really is.
If you take it seriously, finance should be a religion. It has all the, you know, characteristics of a religion.
You devote an inordinate amount of your time to something unseen that doesn't make a ton of sense. But it's okay because it's like, you know, the idea that having a billion dollars, a billion dollars is like God.
It's there, but not for everybody. And you want it.
You don't know how you're going to get to it, but you know there's rituals that you can do to get you closer to that thing that you want. And this guy wanted the big B.
He wanted a billion dollars. He probably wanted more.
They want to be billionaires, these people. And the way to do that is to sacrifice your physical and emotional well-being in order to get there.
There's a lot of the comedies like that too. You try to be a comedian for years and you're broke and you sacrifice relationships with your friends and your family and you sacrifice, you know, having a good work history and a credit score.
You have nothing to say for yourself in your early 30s. People go, where the fuck have you been? What did you do for a decade? And the answer is nothing.
And then you either get successful and people go, oh, we get it or you don't. And then people just go, yeah, that guy's a bum.
If you fail as a comedian, you're just a bum. You're a guy that spent 10 years in bars.
So I don't know what to do every now and then. And I feel bad for this man and his family.
I'm a human being. You know? So this Pop-Tart movie has to be talked about.
And I don't want to do it because I actually really like Jerry Seinfeld. I think he's a great standup comedian.
I think he's got a nice family. I love Jim Gaffigan and Bill Burr.
I think these are the greatest living comedians or legends. I love everyone else in the film, Kyle Dunnigan, whoever.
I'm telling you right now, I was in my business manager's office the other day, and this lovely woman, I brought up the movie, and this lovely woman who's slightly brain dead, but that's okay, she goes, I said, did you see this? And she goes, yeah, it was good, because that's all they're allowed to say in Los Angeles. Someone goes, yes, it was good, and she smiles.
And I go, yeah, but it was for like kids though. And she goes, yeah, for kids.
Like they just agree. So this film, which I believe is fictional, other than the fact that the Pop-Tart does exist and was invented, is about the Pop-Tart.
It's about the creation of the Pop-Tart.

And it's about how that changed breakfast

for millions of American children.

Here's, let me, can we talk about another layer of this

that's just odd?

It's just a little, the timing is weird.

During the marketing of this movie, and this is no one's fault, it's just the timing. I am watching in Gaza, on my phone, children be pulled out of rubble.
And then I'm seeing an ad for the breakfast movie on Netflix,

where Jerry Seinfeld's talking about how Pop-Tarts changed the game for millions of American children.

And I'm like, wouldn't any of these kids in Gaza like a Pop-Tart?

Would any of them like a Pop-Tart? What's the breakfast they're eating right now? It's unfortunate timing is what it is. You know? And I'm watching this movie and this whole thing about children and breakfast and this being like this massive, it may be when you have a billion dollars, which I believe he has, the things that interest and fascinate you maybe are not the things that are relatable to other people.
The fact that they made a movie about this, the fact that this was interesting enough to him. Think of everything in the world.
Think of all the things that have ever happened in the world. Just think about it.
Let's go with it. I don't know where you are.
Maybe you're jogging, driving to work. Whatever the case may be, just think about everything that's ever happened in this world of ours.
Every invention, innovation,

advancement, achievement,

conspiracy,

question, anything you would ponder at night, something you would think about

as a kid when you were camping in the

laying there in the tent going

what's the deal with this world we're in?

All of those things.

Now you have

a billion dollars

and you're going to make a movie. Is the invention

of the Pop-Tart

Thank you. All of those things.
Now you have a billion dollars and you're going to make a movie.

Is the invention of the Pop-Tart worthy of making an entire, and putting every comedian that's ever lived in this movie about the making of the Pop-Tart and how it changed people's lives. Can you look up what year the Pop-Tart was invented? I think it was 1964, but I'll find it officially.
It's a nice family film. Meaning you can watch it with your family and nothing's offensive, but the kids are going to leave the room.
You can watch it with your kids. So, Smithsonian Magazine, in 1964, Kellogg's changed breakfast forever by introducing Pop-Tarts to the world.
Was this such a big deal? Am I not, am I nuts? Was this like the biggest event in the world? I don't, I'm, we weren't really allowed to have like Pop-Tarts for breakfast. Even my white trash boomer parents, like wouldn't really let you have Pop-Tarts for breakfast? Were there, like, millions of kids? I mean, I guess I don't get it.
This is like if I made a movie about the invention of the yodel, and I had a billion dollars, and I made a movie about the invention of the yodel, and I put every comedian in the world in this movie about the yodel being made and i was like in the 1990s like this would be the trailer you know in the 1990s there was a snack cake invented that changed the world the yodel and people go tim dylan's lost his fucking He's out of his mind now. That guy used to talk about things that had some value and now he's lost his mind.
When were yodels invented, by the way? I don't know when they were invented. Can I make that movie? Should I have turned around to the CEO of Netflix in the elevator and went, how about the next one? It's about the yodel.
And I do it. Can I do one about the yodel? I should have gotten right in his face.
Can I do a movie about the yodel? I want to do a movie about the yodel. Oh, they were introduced in 1962.
So every invention is fucking, every movie about any of these things is retards and bell bottoms. How about Shake Shack? I want to do a movie about Shake Shack.
How Danny Meyer decided to put the burger on a potato bun. And I'll just sit there in Madison Square Park and I'll be like, in 2009, there was an invention called Shake Shack that allowed this fat country to get even fatter.
And I have every comedian in the world is in this movie.

And they all do a fine job.

I'm not going at any of the comedians.

It's just the movie, the jokes aren't really funny.

The premise is insane.

I don't understand.

And again, I'm not trying to be negative about it. It's just crazy.
You have Hugh Grant playing Tony the Tiger. Here's what's also funny about this.
This is what unleashed decades of obesity in this country. Decades of cancerous sugar addiction.
And they kind of goof about it, but it's not ever treated as it should be. Like the invention of the nuclear weapon, the pop-tock.
Like, marketing sugar to children the way we did was, like, probably one of the darkest things. The whole movie should start where it's just legless fat people in hospitals.
And it should have been a documentary. And Jerry Seinfeld should go up to a guy who's got one leg and the stench of the room is making Seinfeld almost vomit.
Because, you know, you can get gangrene when they cut off a leg. And Seinfeld is standing in this room and he says to the nurse, he's like, is there anything we can do about the smell? And he's just interviewing this man whose leg has been cut off.
And he goes, what happened to you? And the guy starts by saying, I was raised on Pop-Tarts. And I got diabetes.
And they had to saw off my leg. See, that's the real movie that should have been made.
Jerry Seinfeld should go interview morbidly obese, bedridden people whose sugars ruin their entire lives. And he should have to stand there and try to have humanity with them.
Like when someone's laying in the hospital bed and they go, am I going to die? And he goes, I don't know. Jerry Seinfeld should have to hold the hand of someone who's dying.
That's what this film should be. This goofy film where it's like snap, crackle and pop.
You got everybody playing. I'm just saying.
Ted. He's like, who is this idiot? Who is this fat idiot? Get him out of the alleyway.
Ted, I want to do one about the yodel. It's called swirly cream.
Swirly frosting. And it's about the yodel.
No, I want to make a film about the yodel. And I want to have Louis C.K.
play the yodel king or whatever the fuck. No one can say no to any of these people at this amount of work.
Jerry Seinfeld could have pitched anything. It was just yes.
There's nothing he could have said that they would not have said yes to, by the way. He could have said anything.
He could have been like the stapler. I want to do a movie about the stapler.
And they all went, well, oh, yes. He goes, because it's funny you get in accidents.
You ever get a staple in your palm? They go, yes. It's yes.
Yes. Yes, whatever you want.
I just want to get to that point in my career where I could just come in and say something and say, this is how the meeting should have went with Seinfeld. Tell me you want to do a movie about the creation of the Pop-Tart.
I want to do a movie about the creation of the Pop-Tart. No.
But I really like Pop-Tarts. Yeah, no, that's all.
That's all right. That should have been it.
It should have just been no. No.
That should have been no. Should have been no.
Nope, move on. That's all.
That's all. We're not doing that.
We're not doing that. Why? Because it seems like it'll be really stupid.
I'm the CEO. It seems like it'll be dumb.
Oh, wait, Amy Schumer plays Marjorie Post. No, still no.
This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash. Saving and investing can feel impossible, but with Stash, it's a reality.
It's easy. Stash is interested in investing app.
It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster. They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals.
Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert-managed portfolio that picks stocks for you. Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month.
Don't let your savings sit around. Make it work harder for you.
Go to getstash.com slash TIM to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and review your important disclosures. That's get.stash.com slash TIM.
That's get.stash.com slash TIM. Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients, and not a guarantee.
Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor. Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions.
I'm trying to, these Gaza influencer kids, we try to get them on. They message me.
These two kids, I message them actually. These guys show a little bit of the stuff they're doing here in Gaza.
And I message them and I said, I want you guys to come on the pod. I want to donate money to these guys because they are out there, as Gary V would be, creating content in a war zone.
But they're actually doing this. You know, play one of their things, please.
28 of sharing our daily routine in war zone. I woke up today to get some bread, and unfortunately the bread is really expensive, nearly $6 because there is a lack of flour I'm gonna.
I'm ready to meet Omar and we started the day and we went to the chess club as it was the third day of the tournament Today was really special day because that we hit the 100k and I want to tell you guys that you are literally changed our life. Big thanks to you guys.
We want to support these guys. And I messaged them and they said that the Wi-Fi in Gaza is not great for them to do a podcast appearance.
I mean, these creators. I mean, they're always lazy, these creators.
Let's be honest. I've dealt with them all over the place.
I get it. No, but in all seriousness, these guys are out there in a hell.

They're living in hell.

And they don't even have strong enough Wi-Fi to watch the Pop-Tart movie.

Now, I want to support these guys, and I want to donate money to them,

and I'm going to donate money to them.

And don't yell at me and go, well, it's actually going to go to Hamas. So a little bit goes to Hamas.
It's still, they're kind of outmatched. It's not like it's going to change the whole thing a little bit.
A little bit of money goes to Hamas. But these kids are actually trying to keep themselves sane in an environment that I imagine is I couldn't think of a worse environment.

I couldn't. People you know are dying.
People's families. It's unreal.
And it's, you know, any moral person, and this is not to excuse what Hamas did.

This is not to say what Hamas did.

This is not to say that Hamas is good or that October 7th didn't happen or any of the conspiracies that are out there.

It is to say that watching these scenes coming out of Gaza,

if you're a moral person, should disgust you.

It should make you upset.

And anybody who's dealing with that,

and this Rafa invasion is a massive and huge mistake. It's a red line.
And the United States government is now kind of pulling back. And the Biden administration has kind of made it clear that they feel like this is a complete disregard for human life in a way that, you know, the official U.S.
government, which, again, is incredibly pro-Israel, but at this point going into Rafah, it's this, you know, it's all these people have been told to flee to Rafah, and now you're going in there. There's no plan.
There's no plan for a post-Hamas Gaza. There's no plan for an international force to keep things safe.
This is a massive humanitarian catastrophe. You have people being starved.
You have people being driven from their homes. You have people that can't get clean water.
You have people that cannot get operations. The majority of these people are not in Hamas.
They are not Hamas combatants. They are

not fighters. These are civilians.
Many of them are young people and they're being killed. And it's a moral nightmare.
It is an absolute disaster if you are a moral person, which not everyone has to be, and it's your choice. But if you have any morality, this is not something You look at and just go

Well

You know I mean

So what we're as bad

That's no, that's not the end. That's not it.
Well, you weren't upset about. All right.
All right. Relax.
And I'm not saying that the, you know, the white kids in Columbia with the, you know, wearing the Muslim scarves and banging the drum, that's not silly and ridiculous. We know that.
And certainly they're not helping their case with the death to America chants and saying that Israel shouldn't exist. And that—I'm a pragmatist.
I'm a realist. So the reality is you need two states for two indigenous peoples.
Now, whether the Jews are indigenous or not, they certainly have an argument that they are the Palestinians certainly do and you need two states and when I grew up everyone talked about a two state solution and everybody was on board with that the government of Israel drifted to the right there was no longer a discussion of a two state solution this kind of whatever it was this siege blockade became reality. People in Gaza were living there.
It's a perfect recruitment tool for terrorists. And, you know, I mean, this war is a perfect recruitment tool for terrorists as well, where people watching this are becoming enraged, and many of them that are, you know, young people, or not even young people, any person that is maybe desperate and wants to feel powerless or hopeless and is driven to commit acts of terrorism, the images that came out of Abu Ghraib become a terrorist recruitment

tool. I think the images that are coming out of Gaza become a terrorist recruitment tool.
By the

way, you know who shares that assessment with me? Anyone that thinks. So the problem here becomes,

how do we end this? How do we stop this? Because this is, you know, become a disaster. And again,

you know, this is not to say that Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth, which again is

Thank you. know, become a disaster.
And again, you know, this is not to say that Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth, which again is where the Columbia students and where a lot of those protesters are going to get things wrong. Because when you're a pragmatist, which doesn't really have that much, there's not room for pragmatism in a protest per se.
That's not how, what they're designed to do. They're not engineered.
Those people, they're things that are run on emotion. They're trying to get attention.
I get it. But if you're a pragmatist, you got to figure out a way to rebuild Gaza and give these people some restitution here because, you know, like I said, I mean, we're going to try to have these guys on.
I mean, it's been tough. They DM'd me back, and they were like, listen, the Wi-Fi is not great, but we want to support them any way we can, so we're going to try.
And we might do a thing with them and release it separately than a podcast. You know, we might just throw it up on the YouTube or whatever and put a link in there so that you guys can kind of help them and their families, because it's unimaginable.
Again, imagine that you were living in that situation. It's completely unimaginable.
In the same way that if you were an Israeli whose child was kidnapped from you, or daughter was raped, or any of the people that are still missing their loved ones and don't know if those loved ones will ever come back, I can't imagine what that's like. You know what I mean? I cannot imagine what it's like to have a member of my family kidnapped by Hamas.
Now, I do imagine it all the time, and I've tried to make it happen. But it doesn't work.
So I'm just saying that that is a difficult thing. Let's talk now about Eurovision.

Because I'll tell you right now, folks.

Eurovision is something I've paid very little attention to

in my life, and I am sad.

Eurovision

has, like, Dutch rappers.

They have, like,

Ukrainian

ska bands.

You have like Swedish.

Like Celine Dion won it in 19, I believe 1988 or 1998.

I forget.

Probably 88.

But Eurovision is a contest.

It is a contest of bands from all over Europe. They banned Russia last year or a few years ago.
And they were like, you cannot compete because you invaded Ukraine. Now what has happened is Israel's in it and Israel advances to the finals.
People are getting mad. They go, you banned Russia.
Now we're mad at Israel. And this woman, Eden Golan, and we're going to play her song later for you.
But there's a lot of tension in this contest. It happened in Malmo, Sweden, which is a town with a big Muslim population in Sweden.
And they're doing Eurovision here. And the Israeli singer Eden Golan needs all the security, and it's backstage, it's tense.
Now, they're all dressed up in crazy ways. Get the win.
Now, this winner is Nemo, this guy who wins Eurovision. This is Nemo right here.
This is Nemo. Now, Nemo is from Copenhagen? Switzerland.
Switzerland. He's from Switzerland, and Nemo, can we play any of these songs? Can we play any of these songs? Can we? It's copyright, so it's tough.
God damn it. Well, Nemo does a rock opera about their journey discovering they were non-binary, which doesn't exist.
But still, there's a journey to it. And it's Nemo is up there.
They're up there singing about being non-binary. Now, they break the award.
Can you play the press conference where they break the award?

Israel was actually doing really well. There was this demonic fawn from Ireland who really hated Israel.
This demon, this Satan fawn from Ireland, which I kind of liked because, again, Eurovision, they wear these crazy costumes. It's insane.
you really thank God for black people

after you watch Eurovision because you're like, man

I mean, this is

what happens to white people in music when they have nothing else going on. They're dressed up like fawns and some of them are dressed up like, I don't even know, like mythical creatures from Middle Earth.
It's like the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. They come right out of Nornia play the press conference this is Nemo the person who won Eurovision doing a rock opera about the journey of finding out they were non-binary oh this is clearly like a double standard and, like, I broke the code and I broke the trophy.

Maybe the trophy can be fixed.

Maybe Eurovision needs a little bit of fixing too every now and then.

This person broke the trophy.

When they handed them the trophy, they broke it or something.

Can we play a little bit on Twitter of something that they did? I mean, here's him breaking the award. Yeah.
He's like an idiot. The person's like an idiot.
Breaks the award. I mean, it's like...
They kicked out this guy, Juiced Klein, who did a song called Europapa, and they kicked him out because he started with the Jews backstage, I think. And Juiced Klein is like this rapper from Amsterdam or something.
I don't know. He's a Dutch rapper.
And he does a song called Europapa. And all the songs are like, I live in Europe.
I like it. I will die in Europe.
That's the words. Literally.
Can we play a music video on here? It depends on who is the publisher of it. It's Juiced Klein from Eurovision.
He's a rapper. He's a Dutch rapper.
Is he going to sue us, Juiced? Are you suing us? Because as a critic of Israel, Juiced, if you sue me, that's a pretty Israel move. But he does a song called Europoppa, and he's like, we all live in Europe.
I like to go Europe. And you realize how terrible music is in many cases when you leave America.
It's like crazy bad. Get up the Irish demonic fawn.
Because she was upset. They were like, what happened when Israel advanced to the finals? And she's like, oh, I cried.
I cried. I cried.
There she is. Irish Eurovisit contestant cries after Israel makes the final.
So now people in Ireland are mad at Bambi Thug. Bambi Thug is the satanic Irish fawn.
The Ireland is a very Catholic country, Protestant in the north, but Bambi Thug was a vocal critic of Israel. And when Israel advanced, Bambi Thug was upset and cried.
She's like, Oh, cried. Oh, cried.
Some mushroom is here. Oh, just cried.
Now, this Eurovision contest has been very controversial. We explained why.
We get it. But this young woman, this Eden Golan, she's a pretty woman, attractive young lady, and she has a song.
And I don't know why everyone's angry. Let the woman sing a song.
She's not the defense minister of Israel. So I'm like, let's play this song, which I believe to be, I think, kind of a poppy love song.

Yeah, I don't know what they do at Eurovision.

But again, I think it's like poppy love songs and stuff like that.

So without further ado, and we got special permission to play this song from her people,

which, by the way, is nice because a lot of people don't grant special permission to play a song like this. We could not clear Juiced Klein's song, apparently, but this is, the song is called Hurricane by Eden Golan, and this is her entry to Eurovision.

Let's hear this woman out a little bit here.

This is a regular nice song.

Before she recorded this,

she said she wanted to bring everyone together to music.

This was her hope.

Eden Golanat Hurricane. Kill them all.
Kill them all until they're dead. And then when they're dead, kill them again.
Kill the babies. Kill the teenagers.
Kill the old people Kill their dogs and cats Kill them if they're thin or fat Kill them in the hospitals Kill them in the schools Kill them while they're playing soccer Kill them from above Kill them from below Kill them from the left and from the right Make them into vapor Make them into dust Make them into a science experiment. Bury their bodies in the dust.
Bury their bodies in the dust. Then drag them back from hell and kill them again.
Kill them again. Kill them again.
I'm gonna burn you with a righteous fire again I'm gonna burn you with a righteous fire I'm gonna burn you alive And then I'll burn you dead I'll burn you dead I'll burn you in my house This is my house And you are in my house Get out of my fucking house you didn't live here before me do you like the taste of my gun do you like the taste of my gun do you like the taste of my gun do you like my gun in your mouth my guns in your mouth my guns in your baby's mouth I put my gun in your little baby's mouth Kill them all It's not genocide It's a song It's not genocide I'm here with pride Do you like the taste of fire? Do you like the taste of blood?

Blood is coming for you.

Rivers of blood.

There are rivers of blood.

Eurovision. I want to win.
Eurovision I want to win Eurovision That was Eden Golan, Hurricane An entry to the Eurovision You know, after hearing the song I do understand why it was controversial You know, I do understand understand. You hear some of those lyrics.
Some of them are quite violent and a little suggestive. But art is art, you know? And that was Eden Galan's song, Hurricane, from the Eurovision contest.
This podcast is brought to you in part by Stash. Saving and investing can feel impossible, but with stash, it's a reality.
It's easy. Stash is interested in investing app.
It's a registered investment advisor that combines automated investing with dependable financial strategies to help you reach your goals faster. They'll provide you with personalized advice on what to invest in based on your goals.
Or if you want to just sit back and watch your money go to work, you can opt into their award-winning expert managed portfolio that picks stocks for you. Stash has helped millions of Americans reach their financial goals and starts at just $3 per month.
Don't let your savings sit around. Make it work harder for you.
Go to getstash.com slash T-I-M to see how you can receive $25 towards your first stock purchase and to view your important disclosures. That's get.stash.com slash Tim.
That's get.stash.com slash Tim. Paid non-client endorsement, not representative of all clients and not a guarantee.
Investment advisory services offered by Stash Investments, LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor. Investing involves risk, offers subject to terms and conditions.
People are saying that with restaurants, they can't afford to be open or closed. We have a crisis in restaurants in the country.
We do. I've been to a restaurant, and I'm not smoking cigarettes again.
Post Malone had a bunch of cigarettes and was smoking them and wanted me to smoke with him to support him. And I did.
That killed Tony. But a lot of people are upset now.
Restaurants cannot afford to stay open. They cannot afford to be closed.
And it's because this is an article of Drudge. This is because like you know, it's a real problem.
The way people are acting up. The shocking state of the restaurant industry.
We can't afford to be open. We can't afford to be closed.
In October, Lauren and Peter Lemos locked the doors of their Chinatown sandwich shop for what they thought would be the last time. In late March, they flipped wax papers lights back on.
Not due to newfound success or windfall, but because they couldn't afford to shut down.

After closing Chinatown, we realized we still have our lease.

We still have our loans from the COVID loans.

The bills are still coming in.

We can't afford to close.

We can't afford to be open.

Wax paper's husband and wife team are hardly the only ones facing an economic crisis.

Interviews with more than two dozen chefs, restaurateurs, policymakers, and advocacy groups

were fueled pointed concern

over the state of the service industry

and questions of longevity.

People are, you know, there was a time,

for example, it's happening to real estate agents right now.

The job of real estate, which is a low rent profession

that only a few people can make money in. It's a low-rent profession.
It is now being glamorized on the internet and social media and Netflix and all of these reality shows. This idea that, number one, a very small amount of agents in real estate sell luxury real estate.

And a very few of those agents that sell luxury real estate actually sell it and actually make any money. For many people, real estate is a second or a third job or a waste of time or they're rich people that are bored, whatever it is.
But the job of a real estate agent, which has been, you know, you're just, you know, basically, you know, you're a, you know, somebody said it recently, developer, and I like it, you're a bottle service girl. Real estate agents are bottle service girls.
You're just opening doors. Three bedrooms, four bathrooms, this, that, the other.
It's all you do. But that job, a lot of people after these shows like Million Dollar Listing and Selling Sunset, people got into that.
The restaurant industry had that years ago. It was very glamorous.
People liked the idea of being part of the restaurant business because all of the reality shows were, you know, chef-centric. Ooh, I want to be a chef.
I want to work on the line. I want to be in a restaurant.
Well, being a chef is hard. You're a junkie.
A lot of times you do drugs. You don't see your children or your wife.
You don't care about anyone. You hate them.
You're obsessed with your craft. You toil in relative obscurity, and then you die pretty young.
That's most chefs. Most people that work in restaurants, you know, shows like The Bear, you know, notwithstanding, are not happy.
It's a tough job. It sucks.
Unless you're in a really good restaurant, and you're really good at it, and people people tip you and you feel good about where you happen to be. But most of these service industry professions, what happens is someone makes a show about them where everyone seems hot and it seems fun.
And you're like, that's fucking amazing and then there's a a period where everybody gets into that job for a while it was bartending in the like late 90s early 2000s people thought it was like a great job to be a bartender coyote ugly look at my tits And then, you know, people got into bartending

Again, cocktail, Tom Cruise, 1988

There's lore with a lot of these jobs

People get into them because they see them on the screen

And think they're getting that experience

There's a lot of people leaving the service industry right now

Because it's not top chef

Thank you. experience.
There's a lot of people leaving the service industry right now because it's not what, it's not top chef. It's not top chef.
That's not what it is. Even though shows like Hell's Kitchen, it's like, well, I'm getting yelled at, but it's like somebody believes in me and they're holding me to a high standard.
That's not what it is. You're working at Red Lobster.
You're working at Red Lobster. The chef's a pedophile.
It's not Top Chef. It's not Hell's Kitchen.
You're working at like the bistro in the Marriott, the new like, you know, Starbucks Marriott bistro, whatever it is, you're heating up a focaccia sandwich for some, you know, some fucking fat woman at a conference of dental hygienists. And she's like, can we get this going? It's not what you think it is.
And unfortunately, it has been represented as something it isn't. So people are getting into the service industry thinking that it's going to be something.
And then they realize it's actually a hell. Here's why it's a hell.
There's no more cash. Can't get a cash tip.
That was nice. In the 90s or the early 2000s and even mid 2000s, it started to go away.
People would hand you cash. I still tip cash.
It's great to have cash. We are

in a cashless society that you cannot get tipped with cash. So the tips are all on the grid now, and you got to split them with everybody.
Even the people that suck used to be able to take money out of your, uh, used to be able to take money and put it in your pocket it and act like he didn't get it.

That was great.

That was good.

Now you can't do that. You're on the fucking grid.
You're on the grid. People are too educated about food now.
They ask you too many questions about the food. They have too many allergies.
They have too many restrictions. They have too many requests.
They're remaking all of the entrees. Can you do this? Can you hold that? I don't like this.
What is the lamb crusted it? Like, it's a problem now. It's not I'll have the lamb anymore.
It's a five-minute interview. It's a dissertation on every medical problem they've ever had and their children.
They're annoying. They have already seen the lamb dish being prepared on YouTube before they come into the restaurant.
They know the menu better than you. They are demanding in ways they've never been demanding before.
It's annoying to deal with these freaks. People used to come into a restaurant, get a steak and cheat on their wife.
It was nice. Limited interaction with the waitress.
Limited. Get her over.
Get her out of there. I look at restaurants now.
The waiter's been at the table for nine minutes. What's going on? Why is he still there? Because they're discussing their strategy for the meal.
Waiters should never be your friend. Have you dined with us before? Have you ever been here before? All that crap.
No. There was stoicism.
They were colder. They came to you.
Hello. What would you need? They're not supposed to be your buddy.
Stop crouching. Don't get on the floor.
Don't touch me. Don't be around me.
I don't want your face in my face. Like, get away.
Be stoic. Be colder.
Here's what we have. In the 90s, the restaurants owned you.
You were lucky to get in. You were lucky to be there.
No, there are no substitutions. The chef will not be doing that.
Now, you are the chef of the restaurant. You are the manager of the restaurant.
You make all the decisions. You design the food.
You tell it. Does anyone have any dietary restraint? No, no, no, no, no.
They have to tell you what they've got or they die. When you give up your authority, you never get it back.
Say it again with me now. And you know who knows this? Daddy, Putin.
Putin knows. When you give up your authority, you never get it back.
Okay. Whether you're a Russian oligarch or a mall steakhouse, if you give up your authority, you don't get it back.
If you democratize the experience, if you let the inmates run the asylum. And by the way, there are servers right now that are like, they're going, hell yeah, Tim, because they know I'm correct.

You've let the inmates run the asylum now.

You have.

You've let a bunch of people come in and tell you how to run your restaurant.

Oh, they don't want to dress up?

They want to dress like pigs.

Well, I guess we make it a hoedown because they want to be pigs.

I used to go up thinking, oh, no, no, it's a dress code.

You're not allowed in. You don't have the things on we need.
We have requirements. Out.
Out. Now people go, well, people want to dress in sweatpants.
You want to dress like pigs. So then you have to adjust your restaurant where everyone can be a pig now.
You've given up authority. You have no authority anymore.
You're not running the show.

You're not curating an experience anymore.

That's the issue.

I'm not saying you have to have a dress code.

There's a lot of great restaurants that don't have it.

But if you want to have one, you fucking should,

and it should be enforced.

I might not go because I'm going to sweatsuit half the time, but that's fine.

You don't need me.

The point is you have to have authority.

The meals are the meals.

We're not doing your meal.

You're not designing your meal.

We are serving this.

The chef thinks you should eat this.

Why don't you try it?

Oh, you're a 36-year-old who can't try fish. You can't try something.
You're 36 years old. You're not a four year old.
Try a spice you haven't heard of. Oh, it's actually a little spicy and I get to stomach things.
Take a fucking balai or whatever it is, Tums. Take a thing.
You can't, I go out to dinner with people now,

it is a doctor's appointment.

They tell you about, oh, my stomach actually,

I have things, just shut up.

Order whatever you're going to order

that corresponds with whatever disease

you have diagnosed yourself with and move on.

But this is why the service industry,

because at one time it was a little bit glamorous and it was a little cool and there was a reason to like we work at a really hot restaurant but now because it has been we have transferred the power to the consumer fully fully they are now in the driver's seat. Can you imagine that? You take off in the airplane

and the guy comes back and goes, hey, slob with the pretzels, get in there. Get in the cockpit.

Why don't you try it? It doesn't work. It never works.
It actually never works. When you let the

people determine the course of the experience and how it should happen, it doesn't work. You have to

Thank you. determine the course of the experience and how it should happen, it doesn't work.
You have to give them something worth coming back for. And the only way that's ever going to happen is if you wrest control of your establishments back from these fucking monsters.
No phones. We don't do phones.
Oh, well, they actually need it for the marketing. They need it for the, they need people to have five phones on the table, one lighting the food, the other snapping photos.
No, no, no, no, no. You don't need it.
Figure it out. Hire marketing people.
Figure it out. You don't need people running around the restaurant with phones.
Say no phone. We don't do phones here.
Do you know how amazing it would be a restaurant where they go no phones? Take a bold stand. You might not have liked that Eden Golan song, but that was taking a stand.
But this is what I'm thinking. I'd love restaurants forever.
My family's in the business. I know people and I'm telling you I don't care about this article.
It doesn't even make sense. The problem is they're hinting about a real.
They're complaining nobody's making money. They don't know the cultural.
Politics is downstream. The great Cereal Marconi.
You want to know my favorite story? My father was a wine salesman once. Tried to sell wine at this restaurant.
They threw him out the back. They walked in, they go, oh, thank you so much, great to see you.
Because they didn't want to make a scene up front. They threw him right out the back in the alley.
Like the Irish slob he is. The Irish are thrown out.
The Irish go to the alley in the back. I'm just saying you've given up too much control.
I don't respect you anymore. I cannot respect you anymore.
If you are, you should be unwilling to compromise on certain things. Restaurants are not about comfort like hotels.
Hotels, your job is to make people comfortable. They're at their home.
It's their home. Restaurant, it ain't your home.
This is an experience you're paying for, and if you don't let us curate it for you, it's going to be a disaster. If you come in and demand exactly what you want, we have a vision here.
We have a vision. And if you're going to fucking muck it up with your vision, you're not going to like it and no one's going to like it.
And then it's not going to be fun to work there. It's not going to be fun to work at a place that's not cool.
That's not fun. That's why everybody's leaving the service industry now because they're like, wow, this isn't cool anymore because we've made it uncool.
It's a nursing home. We've made these restaurants into nursing homes.
They're clinics. People come in with problems.
Well, hi, hi. Can you come here? Hi.
The chick, the roasted chick. See, my husband, I don't want to get into it, but my husband has this stomach problem where if he has any type of spice, he will have to use the bathroom for 36 hours.
So is there any way that you could come and tell me every single spice that's on the chicken? Because my husband, he's had a lot of problems.

They caught him masturbating in his car by school two years ago.

But he's not a pedophile.

He was just very nervous.

And his thing with lactose is that if there's too much cream in the mashed potatoes, he gets really gassy about it.

And he's had a lot of problems with lactose.

When he was young, he fully had sex with his sister and he impregnated her. He impregnated his sister.
And of course, she got an abortion. I mean, thank God.
I mean, now maybe you wouldn't be able to. But back then they were in his family was Catholic, you know, but of course, you're not gonna have your brother's baby.
I mean, that's crazy. So he fully impregnated his sister at 14 years old.
And she was 13, but she was fully impregnated. And they took her.
They were going to take her to a convent. But they decided they didn't want a retarded baby because they think that it would come out with a third eye or something.
So they actually took her to get an abortion. But they've always had a weird thing since that, obviously.
Even though they were both young, but they've always kind of had a weird relationship since then.

And so, you know what's

interesting about her? She's allergic to avocado.

And she's here.

So when she gets here, just

if you cannot even mention avocado with her

because it reminds her of her abortion.

It's just too much.

Go watch Unfrosted.

Good night.