The Curious Case of the Feather: Wednesday, April 23rd, 2025

I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast and happy hump day.
Unfortunately, I cannot participate in hump day this week. I'm just far too immobile, you know? Yes.
And that's fine. There are other ways to participate in hump day.
To tell. You know, pet a camel.
Go on a camel ride. Pet a camel.
camel yeah there's a lot of things you could celebrate in spirit you could be there for someone who is celebrating hump day yeah yeah yeah um i just want to give a shout out not a shout out sort of like a what's what i'm looking for not a precursor but like a tell us what you're gonna do and then i'll try and tell Not a precursor, but like a,

tell us what you're going to do and then I'll try and tell you what you did.

Kind of like a message I want to give

to everyone before the show starts.

A PSA?

No,

but like a,

it's a pre,

like help me please find the word,

please.

It's like kind of the opposite of an epilogue.

Crologue?

Yeah,

but that's not the word I'm looking for.

Like,

preemptive?

PSA?

Kind of, kind of, keep going. You're close.
I don't know. Okay.
I just want to give like a preemptive PSA. A what? A warning.
Yeah, that is another like synonym for what I'm looking for, but we haven't found the word yet. I would like to just give a warning.
Yes. To anyone watching on YouTube.
I look sweet right now. I will have to start spreading my legs on the show.
Like I can't sit like this anymore. I'm going to have to start sitting like a man.
And I don't want to hear a word about it. OK, I'm going through a lot.
Man spreading. She'll be mansplaining.
But who cares if like a man is spreading on a solo chair like we don't care. You know what I mean's just like look this is how i need to sit honestly to be comfortable look how unattractive i look you actually don't look bad you look like you're sitting on a medicine ball yes that's how i've been taught to sit which is good for your condition exactly i have a condition yeah that's like so victorian age what is like calling it a condition i i have many conditions actually it is a condition so i don't want to hear a word about the way i'm sitting like if you want the show to go on for more than an hour i'm just gonna have to sit like this okay i don't think anyone minds i think you're the one who's my mind i don't want to watch clips of me later today looking like this like i feel sick just crop sick.
Maybe we'll just crop in above the waist for you. Love that.
If you see clips for the next couple of weeks where I'm extremely zoomed in, don't ask questions. Yeah.
I think you look prepared. Ready for anything.
Yeah. Your posture is great.
Thank you. It's not what you think, coach.
Okay. So that was my little preemptive warning.
What was the word I was looking for? Whatever. Hey, Jax.
How you doing? Happy Wednesday. Today we have a great show.
We have the Valley Recap. Yes, we do have the Valley Recap.
Excited to talk about it. I also watch Watch What Happens Live with the pregnant ladies, which was so cute.
Oh, no. I went straight to sleep.
Well, I wasn't going to watch, but then I saw it was Valley and it was only Valley, not some rando. And it was me and Kristen who are both pregnant.
And like, I wasn't gonna watch but then I saw it was valley and was only valley not you know some rando and it was me and Kristen who are both pregnant and like I don't think that watch what happens live has ever been like so pregnancy friendly you know it's just like I wanted to support you did you feel like an obligation to watch not obligation I wanted to support what they're doing you know because I feel like sometimes you get pregnant and like everyone forgets about you until you're ready to like be a snatchler again and Chris and Dodie what refuses to be forgotten no and like platform pregnant women I love that and I'm gonna watch live that's beautiful even though their polls are rigged they gave everyone two seconds to vote and not that I voted the polls are rigged like the last every poll starts and one answer goes to 100 and it's's literally never the winning answer. So someone just voted one person.
And then they're waiting for the rest of the votes. And they cut off the last poll, like when it was coming down from 100 to like 98.
And like told Kristen she won. It was like Kristen versus Janet or something like that.
And it was like. Jackie, they're protecting pregnant women.
Like. That's true.
But Kristen, like she's made, like she doesn't need protecting from like. It's true.
opinion. Like, it doesn't, it rolls off her back.
They were actually playing on Bravo before the new season, the new episode of The Valley last night. They were playing old Vanderpump Rules episodes.
Season one, Jax, Kristen, Stassi, Tom. Let me tell you, it was a trip.
I haven't seen it in so long. And they played the episode where, of course, Kristen gets backhanded by Stassi.
And then Tom and Jax like go at each other in the middle of Sir. And it's seriously so funny when the group erupts and Jax and Tom are like physically beating the shit out of each other.
Everybody disperses because they were in a big group. All the girls are there.
They're like in. And Sheena gets shoved.
She is in the corner sobbing. I just got my tooth fixed and they shoved me.
And's like your tooth is fine you're fine it's actually funny because the running joke now is like you know a senator dies and it's like well how is Sheena Shea doing and she has been that way since day one it was hysterical to watch that's great we love consistency I was also thinking when I was watching last night about the origins of the show and like how Jax and Stassi were dating and they were like the number one couple in this group. And there could not be two more different people in present day.
Like Stassi. Two more incompatible people.
He's going to be on the cover of Vogue. Yeah.
Jax has a thong on his counter. I was thinking that too when Kristen was in his house.
I'm like, you two fucked. I'm thinking like you two are perfect for each other.
1,000%. Even though nobody deserves Jax in his current state.
1,000%. So we'll do a full Valley recap at the end of today's episode.
Stories, how would you describe? Good. We'll see.
To be determined. You know, like the stories will be what we make them i believe it was the great hannah montana who once said life's what you make it so let's make it rock and we do make it rock all the time even yesterday mr and mr maldonado like we didn't want to talk about it wound up being like the funniest conversation of the day so title it wound up being the title thanks joe exotic what's so funny is during watch what happens live like andy's mazel went to joe exotic does he still do the mazel of the day i thought he didn't and then like he weirdly made the jackal himself for being married like less times than joe exotic like because joe's out so they couldn't think of anything joe exotic is on like his sixth husband or third fifth and andy like, he's been married more times than I'll ever be in my life.

Like, does any even want to get married?

Because he'd be married.

Yeah, a thousand percent.

He's the most eligible gay man in New York.

Like every gay guy is like dying to date him.

He's wealthy.

He's successful.

He's handsome.

He's so funny.

He's got a great personality.

That's like Leonardo DiCaprio being like, I've never been married. But it's by never been married but it's by choice please like right like i don't feel bad for you don't pretend to be relatable to like people who actually want to get married and can't yeah that was like a flop of a jackal just want to say nobody asked yeah i feel like it's hard to i mean we do queenie and weenie once a week which is like similar to mazel and jackal and sometimes it's hard to come up and they have to do it every day.
We have a whole week of stories. Yeah.
Yeah, but the pressure is on for Queenie. But they also have like a whole production team.
And like the pressure is on for Queenie and Weenie because like it's so amazing, you know, and we crush it. Mazel and Jackal stink.
Wow. She says Mazel and Jackal stink.
And like stop with the Mazel, okay? You don't deserve it. She said what she said.
I mean, we all agree. I wish I had more to update you guys on.
Oh, also, Andy's attitude last night. I'm on Andy attitude.
Oh, yeah. What was the Bechdel test of Andy's attitude? Neutral fine.
Like neutral good. Okay.
However, the only time in the episode when he like actually perked up and slowed down and was like paying attention and all of a sudden in no rush, two people came on the virtual to ask a question and they had a dog with them. And the dog looked a little bit like Waka, like with the ears.
And oh my God, your dog is so cute. That's really funny.
They were like, oh my God, he would love to come to see Watch What Happens Live. because you know he like literally rushes those people off usually the call people call in or zoom in he rushes them off so quickly what's your name where are you from what's your question all of a sudden so much time he's joking with them they're like he the dog would love to come see watch what happens live and andy's like that's not gonna happen like oh that's funny no dogs on the set sorry you guys could come and like literally time stood still meanwhile normally if people love to they say their question but they love to say one thing before being like andy i love you or uh what are the guesses it meant so much to me and they dress like everyone in the room before they ask the person their question and i know it pisses andy off so much because they don't have any time he's like thanks so much what's your question where you're from and that's hysterical that he gave the time of day to the dog yeah and someone in the audience asked a question like on the microphone I thought they were bringing that back because like they need to get rid of the virtual questions these people are loose cannons like it's so weird it's so awkward too the girl's like reading off a screen like stop like why can't it be the audience members a lot of times they clearly have it memorized or like they have a post-it taped to like webcam because i mean it is a lot of pressure and if it is live it's even more pressure i agree that's like a zoom thing that a covet thing that they brought into gotta go agreed what did they do before they had people call in okay well i like the audience me too works for me yeah so anyways let's hear watch what happens live recap i wish i had more to like update the crew on you know in terms of what i did yesterday it was just a busy day taking care of me acupuncture physical therapy i do my stretches all night long like we're i'm tired of doing it i know you guys are tired of hearing about it so like i'll just shut up sometimes self-care looks like hard work and sometimes hard work looks like self-care it a lot of work.
I'm sorry. I had a nice evening yesterday.
We had a picnic. A pizza party picnic.
Without me. Because the cleaners came to my house.
It was so clean finally because it was like a tornado blew through here over the weekend with the potty training and everything. So I was like, I don't want to cook.
I don't want to be like picking food up off the floor. Let's go eat in the grass.
And we picked up some pizza. And we had like a little pizza party.
It was really cute. Highly like free idea.
Like take your kids out for a pizza party picnic. The way like the housekeeper coming like changes the whole week.
Yeah. And I don't know if I shared this, but like the other day, Ben was like, we should just order in tonight.
Right. Because the housekeeper was here yesterday.
And I said, who do you? Like my work is done. Like he's aware of that.
Yes, we should. The correlation.
We should order in. And he was like, and we're going away.
It was like maybe the week we went to the Mayflower and he was like, well, we're going away on Friday. So the housekeeper came on Wednesday.
Thursday we should just order in, right? Planning? I've literally, and my nipples got hard. I was like, yes.
Yes, tell me more and then by the way i forgot to tell you this okay so ben used this studio yesterday to record good guys not my setup this little corner of the studio is off limits to everyone but we have another little setup when you came to new york so i said ben yeah feel free to move some furniture around use the camera and i think it's better because then we don't run into any potential issues of him turning my microphone off or whatever so you think so I was feeling really good this morning you're like feeling really good and I'm getting dressed and I'm explaining to Ben how tough it is to get dressed because it's so hot in the city and my studio is so hot he was like yeah it was really hot in there when I was using I actually opened the window I'm like yeah I open the window all the time it like lets in a lot of fresh air it's nice he was like yeah and then he starts like stewing I'm like what's wrong did he close he's like he was like I feel like I didn't close the window and I started to freak because I already have like a pit about leaving the window open I feel like a bird fly in. Like I just, and right outside my window is someone's like

alley thing. So they like leave their trash there.

There's definitely rats, like for sure. So I try to

limit how, I'm like the window's been open for

15 hours.

I was about, I was seriously

so mad. He's like,

let me go to the studio first. I'll go check it out.

Make sure like I did or didn't close it.

Make sure there's not a pigeon.

Made him FaceTime me because I knew

if the window was open, he would close it and say that it wasn't.

So, I'm like okay he was like Claudia I'm so shocked I was 100% sure I left it open and I was like okay okay then I got here today the window was000% closed. But there were some packages inside.

So one of the guys who works in my building, he has a key.

He lets in my packages.

So maybe he dropped off the packages and then saw the window and closed it as a courtesy.

Because when I was cleaning up, like Ben left it a little messy, I saw a couple of feathers on the ground.

Feathers on the ground.

And where would a feather, seriously, where would a feather have come from?

And it was gray-black, like the color of a pigeon.

My God.

I don't think that your building person would shut the window, actually.

I feel like they would. No, he would.

Like, I'm telling you my relationship with him.

Like, he looks out for me.

I look out for him.

Like, we're good friends.

Maybe you left it open on purpose, like, to air out the space. Like, I space like i don't know that's not something that you like that's such a red flag should i ask him like we text yeah we need now to solve the mystery be like just curious was the window open when you came in hey comma just curious period when you dropped off packages yesterday dash was my window open question mark thanks we have to get to the bottom of this i know because i said to ben if you walk in there and the windows open there is a ban you are not allowed to use my studio anymore like and i've i've kind of told him to fuck off because he's made so many issues in our studio but he needed it i was like you know what i don't use that second studio sure like i thought i could be magnanimous and i'm like day one you're causing issues I'm not even worried about a pigeon I'm really worried about a rat I am worried for you yeah so I'll keep you updated on what he says keep me updated wow wow yeah it was a busy morning yeah seriously yeah it was a busy morning I also forgot to.
Yeah, it was a busy morning. I also forgot to totally update you guys.
Over the weekend, Ben and I started our new car journey. Because I'm looking for a new car.
This has been so exciting for me. It has been really exciting.
To see you going through what I've been going through. Yeah, I can't believe you ended up with a Tesla.
Like, that's so not even, like, in my options. It wasn't you remember like I was going to do like Volvo XC60 right a couple of mom cars and then I had lunch with someone who has a Tesla and like they made us test drive it's like it's six zero to 16 right right zero to 60 which like doesn't get me going except when I am in a red light and it turns green like I'm ahead of everyone when it turns because not for long my car starts faster than theirs yeah but not for long what do you mean like you're a slow job yeah yeah but it's like if i need to switch lanes like i don't have like i don't have a pit about it i'm like that's good yeah um and he was like showed us the car which was really cool explained some of the features you know no key whatever you just walk away from the car i'm like it wasn't doing anything for me but then he was talking about the safety and I was really interested in a safe vehicle and they are so heavy the battery is so heavy it makes them really safe and they can detect certain accidents like they're it just he really made a case for the safety and I was like okay done and you can like literally order you can't order other cars online but like you can literally order a Tesla on your phone.
And I'm picking up my new one next week. I know I say that every week, by the way.
I didn't drop anything off in your space yesterday, so I don't know. Okay, no, that's good.
Because that means when Ben was here, he brought in my packages. Oh.
So Ben did close the window. Where the fuck did that feather come from? I don't know.
Ask Ben if he brought in the packages. Maybe it was like a different super.
different super no no we need to put it like we need to bring this case to a close did you bring in packages to the studio yesterday when you were here question mark or this morning or this morning question mark good call um okay yeah so we started we like went to a bunch of dealerships um what i thought i wanted i spoke to the car mom at length i've actually narrowed it down to a couple of cars too and then she endorsed my choice so i thought i was she endorsed like she's endorsing my choices i like fell in love with this car this lexus and she was like no why no uh she was like your duna will not fit why i didn't even think i didn't even think that car seats like couldn't fit in certain. The second row was just not big enough for a Duna.
And she was like, it's big enough for some car seats. The Duna happens to be big.
But as a city dweller, you don't have a choice. You need a Duna.
OK, the Duna is big. But if you put it on the side that you're sitting on, so if you're the passenger and you don't need a lot of leg room, you're fine.
Yes, that's what she said. But what if I need it to be on the other side for some reason? Like I'm not buying a car that I can only use half of, you know? That's true.
But I have a small, like my car is small for an SUV and like car seats fit. Like it's not been an issue.
Your car is not an SUV. Yes, it is.
No, it's not. What would you say it is? Sedan.
Oh. An SUV is like what Zach drives, like a big car.
That's why I said it was so crazy that that's what you landed on.

Like, because I'm only looking at SUVs.

So I have a couple in mind.

She did recommend, I'm between three cars.

If anybody cares.

If anybody cares.

It's the Mercedes.

I don't know what it's called.

It's the BMW X7 or the Genesis GV80.

Genesis?

Yes.

That new brand?

at the Ben is actually

at the

Thank you. mwx7 or the genesis gv80 ben's actually at the yes that ben is actually at the ben is actually at the dealership right now he's loving it the tesla model y is a compact crossover suv it's i'm sorry it's not an suv it is it's not a sedan the sedan is the model s you guys like it's literally the shape of a sedan what are we talking talking about? It's not a sedan.
I'm just telling you. It's an SUV.
It's a smaller one, but it is an SUV. Just to, like, defend.
Like, I'm just saying it's not. Okay.
Everything I know about SUVs, which is kind of a lot, there's no way. There's midsize SUVs.
There's extra jumbo SUVs. Mine is a compact crossover.
I'm sorry. Compact crossover.
I don't know about that. So the journey continues.
Margo put me onto it. It's, first of all, so nice.
And when the car mom did a video for me, like before I ever reached out to her, she recommended a few cars, and that was like her top pick for me. So then I looked into it.
And Ben is there now. The thing is, being better obsessed with the idea of getting a hunter green car, mostly Ben.
And not everyone makes hunter green. So like when the Genesis came in like a forest green, he's like, oh, okay, I'll get it now.
He's very transparent. He's doing a test drive right now.
So stay tuned. Who makes the Genesis? Genesis.
Where are they based out of of it's hyundai it's hyundai it's like the parent company or whatever oh so it's yeah yeah but it's a genesis it's like by the way and now i'm learning so much you know toyota owns lexus i think i knew that but they're like different mercedes owns acura i didn't know that like they all are like, it's a conglomerate energy.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so I endorse the Genesis.

I see them a lot.

I'm always like, that's a nice looking car.

But when it's a new car, you know.

No, let me tell you, low key, it looks like a Bentley.

Yeah.

The logo's eerily similar.

So I'm just gonna let people think I'm driving a Bentley.

Well, I look forward to seeing what you decide.

Yeah, it's been a journey.

You know, not one I'm particularly enjoying, but I'm learning a lot. It it's exciting a new car is always exciting i'm picking mine up next this weekend except i do not like new car smell when i was at the dealership and maybe it's because i'm pregnant but i'm like why do we chase this high in season one of desperate housewives when she realizes she's pregnant because she's throws up at the car dealership that's so true why are we chasing this high of new car smell? Like, no, I want used car smell.
No. It smells horrible.
I think we chase new car smell, because it means you're getting a new car. No, and it means new.
And it means new car. Clean and fresh.
I love a new car. It is exciting, although it's overwhelming.
It is. It's so many choices, and it's a big decision it's a big decision although

we lease we don't buy so it's like not that big of a decision it's still two years three yeah

maybe three what kind of lease are you gonna do what kind of business y'all in um i'm not sure

i'm thinking two to three three's a long time do two you think three's a long time yeah my last

lease was two yeah i mine was two perfect amount of time zax is three it's getting long in the tooth

Zax is getting a little long yeah and we're getting the hyundai santa fe wow okay so like so we'll be like hyundai swirlies hyundai swirlies i'm starting to sweat it's really hard for me to get dressed like i'm not into this weather it's making me think i cannot believe that charlie was born in august what the fuck did you wear in july like i it's may it's literally the most gorgeous weather right this is what people dream of it's 60 sunny i cannot stop sweating and i don't know what the hell to wear yeah just wear like um what was i leg on the podcast is not an option. Right, that makes it tough because you could wear like a bodysuit with like a collared shirt over it.
Yeah, of course, no, no, like out and about. Yeah.
But no, and the podcast, like Ben was like, just wear biker shorts. Why don't you wear like a bodysuit that's pants too and like a collared shirt over it? I just need like loose.
Yeah, but those bodysuits are comfortable. They're not like, they're not so tight.
And it's kind of nice to have like a little bit of structure. I feel like I'm going to be able to find like three outfits that work.
One of them is going to be our oversized merch t-shirt and I'm just going to have to like rotate them throughout the week and I don't want to hear a word about it. Okay? Yeah, I think that's fair.
And you're promoting your brand. So she's being a good businesswoman.
You have been promoted.

I actually thought about that woman the other day.

You are now one of my elite employees.

She was so viral.

What happened to her?

She went back to promoting her elite employees.

Right.

Being a girl boss and CEO.

Yeah.

I'm actually like I feel I am who I am because of her.

I'm heavily influenced by her.

But you don't even know what she's doing. I should follow her her I'm sure she has other premium content that's being slept on I think she like walks into local businesses and says like hi I'm a girl boss and CEO and like I wanna you know I wanna help you elevate your establishment we need her it's kind of giving undercover boss we need her totally yeah um should we dive in yeah it seems as though it's time to dive into the fast five stories that you need to know and the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by olive ave so olive ave jewelry is all about helping you remember the feeling.
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Chalamet but for our purposes Mrs. Chalamet oh I wonder maybe she went back to her maiden name maybe she didn't take.
Modern woman. I don't know why I feel like his parents are married still.
He gives off that energy. Yeah, like stable family life.
Let me look it up. Yeah.
But keep talking. They always are like all on the red carpet together.
Anyway, she revealed how she feels about her son's girlfriend in a rare interview published on Monday. She said, I have to say she's lovely.
She's very nice to me. She also detailed the moment that she found out that her son, Timothy, bought an $11 million home in Beverly Hills to be closer to Kylie, presumably.
She said... Jackie, they are not married.
They're not. They were married from 2008 until 2014.
Nicole is a former Broadway dancer. She works as a real estate agent now in New York City, and Mark, the dad, Chalamet, is a French journalist who has worked for Le Parisien and the UN.
They met in New York City while Marc was on assignment. Together they have two children, Pauline and Timothy.
When's Timothy's birthday? Like, they got married in 2008? They could have had kids before that. I know, but that's just like, I guess he's French.
So the rules of love go out the window. And that would make sense as to why Pauline lives in Paris now with her bed bed.
It's actually, they've always had like French vibes. They give, I guess Chalamet is a French theme.
She said, did he ask for my advice? No. Before he bought the home, he said, guess what? I bought a house in Beverly Hills.
By the way, I don't think him buying a home in Beverly Hills like obviously he'd like to be near Kylie he's a working actor in Hollywood like you need a house in LA and it's not like he bought it in Hidden Hills he bought it in Beverly Hills sure sure but he's been a working actor in Hollywood for a long time and now it's definitely amping up don't you think like he's more in demand than ever I would say starting By Your Name, like that was the kickoff of Timmy. No, I feel like he really needed a place starting, let's think, like what was, maybe Dune.
Yeah, so why now? Why this house? I mean, it's hard to find a house, you know? It takes time. And probably he's been living with Kylie.
One thousand percent. Maybe he likes to rent, you know? I love to rent.
You do love. Maybe he's like a Claudia at heart.
He's a renter. But then he just plops down $11 million.
Maybe not a Claudia. Maybe Claudia in a different lifetime.
I will buy a home eventually one day. I don't plan to live this untethered life forever.
Do you plan to buy a home? I feel like you don't. Oh, I guess.
You know, my dream is like, I don't think I would ever buy a place in New York City. But I would love to own like a second home.
Yeah. And that's what people in the city do.
Do they. Some people rent.
Because renting is so fabulous. And then own a second home in the country.
Right. Or the mountains, the beach.
I'm open to to really all elements. Yeah.
I feel like Timothy was like that too.

Yeah, definitely. He definitely runs it.
He totally has a place in New York because he's always

here. He was at the Knick game the other night and he

totally runs. And he's like a New Yorker,

right? He's like a classic

guy, you know? Yeah, but I

don't know if I'm just conflating him with like all those

pictures from him filming Bob Marley.

Oh, when I

think of him in New York, I think of those pictures of him filming Gwyneth Paltrow movie, Marty McFly, whatever it's called. The Kiss? The Kiss, yeah.
Is that in New York? Yeah. Okay, yeah, he's like really a New York guy, plus his sister's in Paris, so it's closer.
I want to say, I think this woman did an excellent job, obviously, being like the mother of a very famous person, dating an more famous person. Donna Kelsey comes to mind.
And she's had a couple of flubs. So everybody's very critical to write.
Like we're reading so in depth into this woman's article. So you almost like can't do a good job.
And she did a lovely job. She said Kylie's lovely.
She's lovely. She's very nice to me.
And then she made like a funny little joke. Oh, my son bought an 11 million dollar house without telling me.
Ha ha ha. She came off real normal.
Yeah. Nothing like underhanded.
Right. I feel like there's always like an underhand where it's like, wait, what? And then they say, no, I'm an old lady.
I'm confused. But we know what they said.
And by the way, I don't feel that way about Donna Kelsey. I feel like Donna Kelsey just got really nervous.
Donna Kelsey is also just like, she's just a victim of circumstance. Like it's the Taylor Swift of it all.
Like Taylor's so much more famous than Kylie. Like it's just too much.
Like she couldn't have, literally she couldn't have done it right even if there was a way. Like there's not.
Yeah. You know? Yeah.
But with this woman, I think she really did a lovely job. She sounds like her and Kylie really get along nicely.
And the thing with the Kardashians is like the families of the men that they date, like

love them, right?

Like they all become family.

Like French Montana is still hanging around Chris and he dated Khloe for five minutes.

Like they really bring, I mean, Amari, like they bring in everyone into their family.

Their family just keeps growing and growing.

Except for Chris Humphrey's sister.

Correct.

But she had like a chip on her shoulder, which I totally understood.

She wasn't wrong. So maybe Pauline and what's the mom's name nicole nicole flender like i could see them on the next season of keeping up you know at dream's birthday party yeah definitely pauline now that she has a baby too like she'll want to go to all those activities even though she lives in paris which is just like a little inconvenient she's gonna have to come back soon yeah actually sex eyes of college girls got canceled i don't know if she does have to come back soon well for kylie and she'll have to you know be an aunt to baby yeah right right i'm like i'm on baby chalamet watch now like it's time i do think about the fact that like kylie is two kids and so crazy because she's so young um and in the context of this relationship like what that means like timothy is is the stepdad i've never seen them all out together, but I imagine they do stuff, and like they've met Uncle Timmy.
And what does that look like? I think it looks beautiful. Yeah.
I mean, I think it really does look beautiful. He's not the stepdad.
He's the dad who stepped up. Because they're still together, so like that's all going well, and they're so happy, and so I think it's really working out.
And she wants a lot of kids. And this is the love of her life.
So there will be baby Chalamet. Yeah.
God willing. God willing.
And those are things that I look forward to. God willing.
God willing. Leigh-Anheira.
Are you ready for our next story? A little more love news. Mm-hmm.
Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurst quietly marries Bree Burroughs. So the star player.
Hearts are breaking everywhere. Yes.
But you guys couldn't get him. So let it be Bree.
You never stood a chance. You never stood a chance.
He's so serious. He's so talented.
He's very devoted to this woman. He's devoted.
He's loyal. Like, I'm sorry, you never stood a chance.
Who are you? So I hope you're wasting your time thinking that. The Philadelphia Eagles player and Brianna Bree Burroughs quietly tied the knot, he revealed to Men's Health.
In his cover story published on Tuesday, he did not provide details on the private couple's spring wedding date or location instead he said that by the time the article was published the outlet could refer to her as his wife that's so cute I didn't even know he had a girlfriend he's very private he's also I feel like one of those players who like is well known and famous like for his work on the field and that's it you know like we don't know a lot about his personal life, except I know that his whole team is women. They love that.
Like manager, agent, publicist, everyone's a woman. But beyond that, we just know his stats.
And he keeps separation of church and state. So I feel like that's kind of a nice way to live.
But it's nice that he shared this with us. That's really cute.
That is really cute. I also learned from Aaron Rodgers documentary that like once you become a Super Bowl winning quarterback the spotlight on your personal life gets so much bigger like before you're that you're a famous football player but like it becomes so much crazier like when you win the Super Bowl when you're the star quarterback like for Aaron he was things were quiet for him until he won the Super Bowl that like changed his life he's followed by cameras I do agree that Jalen keeps it more under wraps and Aaron was like he has all this drama that follows him right like he was kind of like the perfect storm not only because he has this like crazy family drama but he dates famous women like a lot of them Danica Olivia right he makes it like easy for the press to but Jalen kind of lives a quiet life as far as I know.

So there's not a lot of like meat there.

Given that he won the Super Bowl this year, he is like the best player in the league.

I think we'll be hearing like a lot more about him.

Probably against his will.

Probably against his will.

Yeah.

Well, listen, it's the price of fame.

It is.

It's the price of greatness.

They say that if you are to marry an athlete,

like football players are the best ones because they have the shortest schedule

and you have the most free time to get married.

Whereas remember Kate Upton,

when they were getting married,

they had like three days off

because her man is a baseball player,

which is like the worst schedule.

But he was also like an amazing one.

So he was in the playoffs and then the World Series. And like their wedding came really close to the actual World Series.
Yeah. So not that, you know, I'm looking, obviously.
Not that you have your pick of the. But if I did, like I'd definitely be hanging out in the stadiums.
You'd go football? Yeah. I feel like basketball, they don't like.
No no basketball like is a lot of games it's like 80 games a season literally the football players play 18 games that's so funny but they also get and the baseball players have they have like in the hundreds oh but then you do have to deal with like perhaps like a concussion yeah and like yeah that's tough that's. Everything's a trade off.
What do you think is least prone to injury? Golf. Basket.
Even though like you can like pull your shoulder. No, golf elbow is a real thing.
Ben gets it all the time. Planter's fasciitis.
Planter's fasciitis. And of course, like a bad back.
I would say also tennis, being a tennis wag looks to be fun. Paige makes it look fun.
It does. It does.
Except like when I think about attending a lot of games of a particular sport, tennis is so quiet. And it's like, yeah.
And there's not a lot of- We can't giggle. It's not like high drama.
It's a lot of boring before it gets interesting. Yes.
Similar with golf. But golf, I didn't realize, they play every weekend.
They actually have crazy crazy schedules and for a lot of the men like they have to choose between having like a a happy family life and being like present dad or being like great that's like what Tony Fina was experiencing in 2022 he's so cute oh my god he won one weekend on the PGA tour 3m or something um and his whole family was there he has like eight kids oh my god he he his his wife's father had passed away that year so she was struggling so he brought his whole family on the tour with they traveled with him like the whole year and all the commentators were saying like it was taking away from his game like he's so distracted he's with his family chooses his family god forbid it's so wrong that's so wrong god literally god forbid and then he won with them there and it was really cute i was like getting a little emo and then i had to turn on the valley but golf is like the same thing like kind of quiet and boring peaceful i think i know i think i think football like the games are rowdy and fun good food liquor i think yeah i think i'm i'm i'm definitely made for the football wag life if, you know, my time should ever come. And as a spectator in golf, you have to stand.
And walk. Like from hole to hole.
And walk. No fucking way.
No fucking way. Thank you.
I forgot about that part. You reminded me.
Are you ready for our next story? Is that why you don't go with Ben? I mean, there's a lot of reasons. No, when Ben plays like with his amateur level, you could take the cart.
Yeah. But they don't use carts is that why you don't go with ben i mean there's a lot of reasons no when ben plays like with his amateur level you could take the cart yeah but they don't use carts no they don't that's what makes the sport correct are you ready for our next story pen badgley is sharing the struggle of dating blake lively while filming gossip girl so pen badgley went to call her daddy he's actually talking about being dan humphrey don't know, feels surprising.
Yeah, except like when you're he's a podcaster like by trade and you kind of you have to lean into the lore if you want to be successful. And he is a successful podcaster.
He is. So he actually said that when he was doing Gossip Girl, living in New York and dating Blake, he felt he had a hard time like separating his like Penn self from Dan self he said when you're doing a television show you're doing it constantly he added that as his stardom grew people began linking him to his on-screen character what starts to happen when you're in this one role for a long time the aspect of celebrity being a part of it a huge part of it there's not enough separation I think for anybody you're seen as this person you're called their name out on the street you're also constantly having to be that person at work he said that in his early 20s he lacked the emotional maturity to understand how to differentiate himself from Dan Humphrey in terms of self-worth he said what people seem to think of Dan seemed to be what people thought of me like I really do feel that I see him as Dan Humphrey yeah a loser it's so true why only him I don't see Chase Crawford as only Nate Archibald well they it depends like it's circumstantial like I don't see Blair as Leighton Meester because she Leighton Meester as Blair because she went on and like did a total um left turn and went into music and then Blake Lively I didn't really see a Serena because I knew her before.
She was the only one I knew before. And then she went on to do roles that were just as big as Serena, right? And so every person's different.
I do see Ed Westwick like pretty much as Chuck Bass, but that's a good thing because we like Chuck. Yeah, but also everything that Penn did after like was so Dan coded.
Like he couldn't differentiate himself from Dan because he kept being dan jackie because he is dan because he is dan and i guess he's saying here like he's not entirely dan but he didn't even say that he just said i felt like i was dan everyone was treating me like i was dan i was being dan in my personal you were acting like dan because you're fucking dan yeah no it's so true when i think of like but but it's not necessarily bad it's just because Dan was like a weenie loser ass character like who would want to be because I think a lot when I see like Kelly Rutherford she's so Lily right like in real life she's very yeah and in real life she like is all over Europe fashion week she's very fashion forward like that's good like yeah you're Lily um same with ed westwick like who wouldn't want to be like sexy mysterious then that's you and then dad it's like well you're like artsy and grungy and like kind of insufferable so i can see why you wouldn't like that serena and then you started a band even though i don't i actually don't think his dan association has a lot to do with him dating serena no but i think for him it him, it just, I was one more layer of like his personal life. Yeah.
And Dan and like in his, I imagine that's a mind fuck, especially when you're younger and like, you really start to like, feel like you're this person and it's hard to separate the two. Yeah.
Yeah. Um, um, cry me a river, tiny violins.
You're fine. Oh, I don't feel sorry for him at all because he's Dan.
But it's just interesting to think about. And I imagine other teen or young stars on shows like this really start to feel like they're characters in a way that might also puff them up, but then make them feel low because who are you? A role like that is like a blessing, but you have to be careful with what you do with it afterwards and so in terms of like roles you take and even people you date just how you're perceived publicly like if you don't want to be just this one thing forever you have to be strategic and I feel like he wasn't but I think other people were yeah but I think now I think strategic and then like it it reads so obvious that that's what you're trying to do.
You're trying to go so hard against what you were like.

I think for some people it just naturally works out.

And then for other people it's like you're either stuck as that person or you're Jenny Humphrey.

Although in the long run I think he ended up fine.

Right.

Like he had enormous success with you and enormous success with his podcast.

But that was like really really like later on.

I think it took a while.

I imagine those years before you were like kind of.

Dark.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A thousand percent.

I have something in my eye if you can't tell.

Are you getting emotional because of all the hard things that you went through?

Everything that Penn Badgley has gone through.

It's hard.

It's devastating.

How does somebody not start crying?

I've never seen you.

But you guys already know that.

Yeah. I haven't either.
You haven't? Mm-mm. That's surprising.
Is it? I thought that you had. I'm not like murdery.
Those are not my type of shows. Yeah.
That one's for like the True Crime Podcast girls. If we had seen it, we'd be putting more respect on his name and we wouldn't be laughing at him.
I just want to say at current Penn Badgley, like modern 2025 Penn Badgley,

like I respect, like I,

but I acknowledge it was a long road to get here.

Are you ready for our next story?

It's a little podcasting news starring your boyfriend.

Okay, which one?

I have so many boyfriends.

Joe Mancinello starting a podcast.

No, but like not far off. John Mayer? No.
Okay, tell me. Sebastian Maniscalco will star in Apple's first original scripted podcast called Easy Money, the Charles Ponzi story.
Apple's first scripted podcast. So Apple's releasing original content now for podcasts yes and a scripted podcast which people have done before and this is the story of charles ponzi for whom the ponzi scheme is named of course um so apple's moving into scripted podcasts for the first time and it's taps sebastian maniscalco is one of the stars of its first project the company is launching easy money the charles pon story, and Bookie star Maniscalco will voice the eponymous lead character.
Oh, so it'll be like a play. Yeah, he has a very distinct voice.
And I think like him doing voice work, whether I would have thought more like, you know, cartoons, but this works too, is really smart. I find it so interesting that Apple's like finally entering the podcast game.
game. Like, all these other platforms have been, like, creating original content, doing big partnerships.
Well, apparently they have original podcasts already in the nonfiction space with the likes of Hooked, The Line, and Missed Fortune. But this one...
Never heard of any of those. Yeah.
This one is the first original scripted show. When I hear this, like, I think, want to watch this on TV.
It's like if we're putting so many resources, writers, screenwriters, Sebastian Maniscalco, get a camera. I agree.
But maybe like this will happen and then it will get made into a TV show. And maybe that's another new way to get TV shows made.
Like first you steal books and now you could steal a podcast. There have been a couple podcasts that have been adapted into.
Cereal. TV.
I don't think they've done a show yet. But they did that Will Ferrell one where he's like a therapist.
Oh. And that like steals the life of his client or something.
Oh. And like gaslights him.
Oh, oh, oh. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I do.
That was a podcast. What? I'm just gonna, and with, was it? Paul Rudd? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, we're talking about the same thing. Show, podcast.
And then what else? I'm not sure. But I know it's been done like a couple of times.
So it's like a new thing. Yeah, it's a good idea.
Mm-hmm. idea it's a good idea and I think this sounds good sounds like a good story yeah I don't know next door yes um I feel like we are always doing documentaries like everybody's story has been turned over in some way or the other in a movie a documentary a podcast except Mr.
Ponzi except Mrzi the pot I don't know a lot about him I don't know what his his scheme was the original scheme correct like I feel like they're gonna change the name of a ponzi scheme to like a made-off scheme like he out ponzi'd the ponzi right and it became such a bigger story that like now the word people use is like made off as a verb he got got made off. Right.
Yeah. But that must be a great feeling for Bernie.
Yeah, you did it, Bernie. I endorse this.
I think this is a great idea. Me too.
Are you ready for our fifth and final story? If it's a story that's brought to you by booking.com, booking. Yeah.
So this episode of The Toast is brought to you by Booking.com, Booking.com. Yeah, yeah.
So every time we use Booking.com, booking.yaya. So this episode of The Toast is brought to you by booking.com, booking.yaya.
So every time we use booking.com to find a place to stay in the States, we know that they're going to have exactly what we're looking for. Because they have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals, we know that we can find exactly what we're looking for, and we've really found that booking.com has something for everyone.
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And Booking.com has a ton of different options, you know? If you're looking for like a beach obsessed kid-free trip, you know, you and the hubby are just like getting a little, you know, time. Booking.com has amazing options there too.
I feel like every time I plan a trip, I'm really requiring different things because sometimes I'm going with my whole family. We need a big old house.
Sometimes I'm going me and Ben. We want to do like a little bit more lux.
So no matter who you are, booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com, booking.yeah.
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Did Ben answer you about the packages?

Oh.

Just to like...

Thank you for following up.

I don't want to leave people on a cliffhanger.

Yeah, he did.

Okay.

So he did also shut the window.

So we're good.

Like, where did the feather come from?

But, just one more hole in the story, if I may. Yeah.
If he brought in the packages and he hadn't FaceTimed you yet, you weren't on FaceTime when he stepped into the studio, right? I was, yeah. But you didn't see him bring in the packages? No, but there were three small ones on the floor.
He probably just kicked them in. Or after he hung up, he brought them in.

They were actually really small, all three of them.

Okay, because I was going to say, if he walked into the studio before FaceTime,

he could have shut it and then be like, hey, it's shut. I really, really appreciate your commitment to seeing the worst in Ben, for sure.

I was on the phone with Ben Jackie in the street.

I called him the second he left the house because I was like,

you are not going to pull one over on me.

No, I am just committed to understanding the feathers.

I don I know. Take them for testing.
Maybe we just tracked them in on our shoes. Maybe it's as simple as that.
Yeah. Maybe it was a simple tracking.
Maybe Romeo got into a pillow. Jackie it wasn't like a i know i wouldn't touch it like i just i knew it had diseases on it 100 our fifth and final story is some exciting tv news chloe kardashian announces a new very excellent kardashian hulu spinoff called calabasas behind the gates so at the get real house which is hulu's hulu had like some big like panels.
The Mormon wives were there. They did a red carpet.
There was the trailer release. It's kind of like an upfront.
Yeah. Yeah.
They were announcing some new programming include. And Khloe was there because, of course, Kardashian's Hulu.
Because nobody works harder than her. Well, nobody's working harder in their 40s than Khloe.
If she were still 39, she wouldn't have been there. But because she turned 40, she can launch popcorn, a perfume, a podcast and a spinoff show.
But she couldn't do it at 39. Just to wrap up yesterday's conversation, Jackie and I have been reached out to by Cloud Foods and we will be receiving the popcorn hopefully sometime this week.
They ask for our addresses. So excited.
I'm excited, too. I actually heard it's very delicious.
I'm so excited. I need some tasty popcorn.
And OK, so here's the tea. So Chloe was talking about some major news coming to the network.
She said it's very, very exciting, very new, very excellent. We're excited to continue developing.
Calabasas Behind the Gates will tell the story of those closest to the famous family, such as friends and neighbors. Rob Mills, the executive vice president at Disney, Hulu's parent company, was also present to expand on the plot at the Get Real House of Hulu.
He said, we all want to know what's happening behind the gates of Calabasas. Who are all these people in the extended lives of the Kardashians? So we're developing a show that we're actually, at least for now, calling Calabasas Behind the Gates.
OK, it's giving the working title of The Real House of Orange County. Wasn't it also called Beyond the Gates? Yeah, something like that.
Now, I don't need to know, like, the plot of the show.

I need to know the cast.

Of course, because, like, if it's Malika and Scott and Travis Barker, like, we've seen that.

But I want, maybe it's Jessica Simpson.

Maybe it's Jessica Simpson.

I'm thinking of a lot of the people in the Kardashians' inner circle.

They don't live beyond the gates, right?

Like, because I was thinking like Olivia.

Yeah.

Or the two Olivia Nicole who are reality TV gold,

but I don't think they live in hidden Hills.

No,

I don't think it's about them either. I think,

I hope it's about like moms who live in Cal in hidden Hills who are friendly

with the girls who would be like,

like almost like real housewives of Calabasas. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Maybe it's people we don't know. Yes, those moms that I'm talking about.
Yeah. Or women.
Yeah, I feel like when we see like pictures of the kids and there's always like random kids there, it's like, who are their moms? Yeah. I feel like it's Real Housewives of Hidden Hills and I would love that.
I kind of like this idea although the name is stolen well they obviously didn't trademark it or the trademark expired but i like behind the gates um calabasas and chloe's always saying maybe she was like teeing us up for this but in last season she's always like she never leaves the gates yeah i'm in the gates and it's all about the she's by the way totally teeing us up that's actually such a good call she was saying it's so saying it so much that I actually, it raised a flag for me. I didn't think it was TV show was coming but I was like, why do they always say it like that? I'm leaving the gates.
The gates. No, and they don't always say it like that.
Like just this year. Just this year.
But also Chloe wasn't leaving her house until she turned 40. And I just want to say like, I'm so glad she turned 40 because like she's obviously has a new lease on life and she's committed to making her 40s her best decade yet.
But like she could have done all of this at 39.

And it was just like a mental block.

Listen, however she got here is how she got here.

But like she's doing so much podcast cloud.

And by the way, it is cloudfoods.com.

So it's going to be more than.

Yes, cloudfoods.

The Instagram was cloudfoods.

It's going to be more than popcorn, assuming the popcorn does well.

And literally she's going to be Robert Kraft.

Okay. From your mouth to God's ears.
now she's doing the spinoff show still doing Kardashian's Hulu she did her fragrance at Harrods. Chloe in Wonderland is also really crushing I see it all over the charts.
She's the elk of a podcaster she always has been from that tub in the Hamptons. We knew that she was we always have said that it's so crazy the Kardashians don't have their own podcast.
And if they did, it would have to be her or Kris. And the fact that like now that there, now that there is like a Kardashian podcast, if there's ever.
Kim had one. Okay, it was about social justice.
Like it was about prison reform. I'm saying like anytime there's like a scandal, like that's where they're gonna go.
Take it to Chloe in Wonderland. Right, they have like an in-house platform now.
It's so smart. I don't know.
I can't believe they didn't have that before. And she'll be like such a safe space for celebrities.
I actually. Yes.
Red table talk. Right.
Which is funny because of like the Jordan Woods red table talk. And now like that will be Chloe.
Even though she hasn't used her couch like that at all yet. She's just talking to people she's interested in.
No, she's building it up and it's becoming reputable. But it will become that.
I could see other people

like going through scandal

or feeling misunderstood

like going to Chloe

because she's just like

there to listen and support

and not judge.

We listen and we don't judge.

Let's dive into the Valley recap

because I'm feeling like

I have like only a few minutes

left inside of me

to finish this podcast, you know?

Speaking of the Valley

and podcasts on

Watch What Happens Live,

Andy asked them,

who do you think has the most unnecessary podcast in the cast? i didn't who in the cast has a podcast every single person jackson britney jackson britney janet and jason have a podcast michelle has a podcast nia and danny have a podcast um kristen has a podcast every no claudia there's the better question who did did they say? Kristen said that Michelle's is the most unnecessary podcast. I agree.
And then Nia said that Janet and Jason's is the most unnecessary because she's beefing with Janet. So, of course, like the person you don't like.
So, I would agree that Michelle's is the most unnecessary. And let me tell you why.
This is one of my feelings from the episode. It was very hard to watch her scenes with Jason.

I know I lack context.

So just based on whatever.

So I know I lack context

because I didn't watch season one.

So based on what I know,

tell me if I'm wrong.

Like I think that Jesse

is the most evil man on the planet.

Like I fucking hate him.

And yeah,

she probably wasn't perfect in the marriage,

yada, yada.

But like the way she's,

like she's so right about him.

Like his tears are fake.

My daughter comes and says that the dog should stay with me because I'm lonely shut up like and when they called Sheena and Sheena was like yeah that girl said that like I hate this fucking man and I think he's evil and I feel actually so sorry for her but it's also painful to watch her because she he knows exactly how to get under her skin and she like lets him and she's not a good fighter like she doesn't have good words and so that's why she makes a bad podcaster she's not a good talker yeah she's not a good talker um but heather mcdonald said this like a while ago that these days having a podcast is like having an instagram account it doesn't matter like how big it is like everyone who has an instagram like has a podcast and so everyone just has a podcast so i guess we have see it like that. I agree.
I don't know why. I don't hate Jesse as much as you do.
But I really do hate him when it comes to Michelle. Like he's just making things so difficult.
And like he doesn't want to be married to her. So just like let her go.
Like make it easy. Stop torturing her.
No, but he's. No, he tortures her with the kid.
And it's so evil. Yeah.
When she's like you'll drop her off on Sunday with the nanny. And she says, okay nanny doesn't matter and no it does no it literally matters who's watching the kid yeah because like is there a nanny or is it your girlfriend and he was like he was like well right but then he was like michelle just thinks that like i take the kid to hurt her and i just you know go live my life and i drink and i socialize and i date and i leave the kid with the nanny and that's not true but what she doesn't realize is how much I struggle to balance my business my personal life and my single dad life I'm like oh so what she said is exactly true you have too much going on you work too much you date too much you socialize too much and you don't have time to be a dad right like you literally just admitted what she thinks of you is the absolute truth she never even said that but now I'm like yeah you live leave the kid with the nannies in the iPad thanks for letting us know yeah nannies in the iPad yeah I also appreciate that Michelle like when he starts crying she's like you're doing this for sympathy like because we don't know what he says to her behind the scenes and I might have watched that and been like oh my god Jesse cries like he really must be feeling right she's like no you're doing this for sympathy to make me look cold like I don't care you said presumably off camera like you don't give a shit that I'm the mother of your child.
Like I need to know this information because like I could be getting played. No, I'm so T.
Michelle. Like, I'm sorry.
I just wish she like. It's just so basic.
Like she's hard to root for. Yeah, because like she's not like incredibly sassy and strong.
But she's a good mom. All she cares about is her daughter.
she just wants like love and peace in her life and which can't she just have that and like why can't and then you can go have the life that you want the jackson britney stuff is so crazy um i guess it's not so crazy now because a couple of weeks ago jack shared that he was struggling with a cocaine addiction um but like the fact that she ripped the band-aid off and set it on camera I imagine is the impetus behind a lot of what he's sharing now because it's out there. And when he was like, well, you've never done it.
She's like, I have, but give me a drug test I could pass right now, could you? And then he just like silently walked back upstairs. It's like, Brittany, I actually, I've always liked Brittany.
I have enormous respect for her now. A, just like seeing what she's been dealing with over the last couple of years but be how she's really very protective of her son like 100% do not kiss my son on the face 100% at first when she was like don't kiss him on the face I'm like yeah you don't deserve to kiss him on the face you stink and then when she was like because you had a disgusting girl here last night and you probably have that photo that's the photo they used of the girl like he do not kiss how did they show that on tv of all the photos they used to show like we need to understand who this person is no i fully understood and then i said dirty thong on the count like she's out of control disgusting disgusting and i guess the agreement is that you know jacks took the marital home which is fucking crazy um the least you could do that's still britney's house britney pays for it.
Britney sleeps in that bed. Why? She shouldn't pay for it.
Of course not. But the agreement is that they can see other people, just not in the marital home, which I think is really fair.
And that's what got Britney so revved up is now it's two girls having come back to the house. And that's why there was a playing card over the camera.
Right. But then what Jax would say to that, which is that we had a set of rules.
No one in the home. No dating people that we know.
Brittany broke that rule. So I break this rule.
Oh, was the rule dating people we know? I didn't hear him say that. Yeah.
Okay. The way I don't give a flying fuck that Brittany dated Julian.
Like, I'm so glad she had someone. And I do feel like she, you can see she's not in love with Jax anymore.
Like, this isn't hard for her because him it's hard for her because she's stuck with him she's stuck with him and he's a torturer and she's responsible for him because he really has nobody and she cares about him but not in a way like that I think is romantic even remotely so way that it's like I need you to be a functioning human being so that our son can have a functioning human being as a father and i just want to say he didn't see his kid for so long he walks into the house and cruise literally does not walk towards him and starts crying like that's not a good sign no no that was a really bad look for him and very telling a thousand percent um he's fucking crazy yeah and i you can tell he doesn't want to go to the 30-day because he doesn't want to miss filming. Because that's all he cares about.
Because he's not even. He was talking a lot about 30 days, 30 days.
I'm like, what's such a big deal? 30 days for your whole life. And he's saying it's about like work at Jax's.
Which I'm sure the show could, that could go on without him. It's about the fact that this is happening during filming.
And he doesn't want to miss 30 days of being on the show. And he's only going to a facility to check a box, to say, I went, I changed, I did.
And we've seen that before from him. So like this instance is not the one, this is actually probably not the rock bottom from him because also he's been sober now.
He said a few weeks ago, 80 days. 83.
That's not starting last summer. That would be hundreds of days.
Got it, okay, so this is fake. This is a fake one.
Do you think he stays the whole time? No. I don't.
I feel like if he did stay the 30 days, even if he came in with the wrong intentions, it would be effective for him. Yeah.
So. And that's what the guy on the phone was saying, because he was making it seem like it was about money.
But that guy on the phone was just wanting a check. Like he did not.
OK, but I felt like. So I felt like that wasn't a real recording of what the guy on the other end of the phone was saying.
It was like dubbed with like AI generated phone conversation because who talks like that? He's like, give us some money and do whatever you want. Yeah.
It wasn't like a caring mental health person. Two 15 day stays will not be the same as one 30 day stay.
I'm like, why? Well, because probably the magic happens on day 16. And if you leave, then you have to start all over again.
No, but you know what I mean? Like you have to be in. It doesn't all happen on day one.
It takes time. and if you leave then you have to start how convenient no but you know what i mean like you have to be in it doesn't all happen on day one it takes time and if you lose that time but um i thought yeah i don't know where he's going and like the thing is i feel like when you're everyone's telling you need to go somewhere and you're doing it to check a box like i feel like you shouldn't get to choose where you go agreed especially because it's like a mental health place like you need a rehab yeah one thing and this my real takeaway from this episode was how much i really respect britney because i'm also i know everybody like doesn't agree with me and i don't know the real context or history but i know people don't like janet all i know so far like there's nothing that i dislike about her and i'm 100 on her team about the whole miscarriage that comment and the fact that britney like refuses to ride for her best friend literally this is her best friend right they're from Kentucky together right refuses to like ride for him I'm actually I really respect like as a woman and as a mom like what you said was so fucked up like no bitch you're literally on your own I'll be your friend still like we could talk and giggle about your boyfriend um but yeah there's gonna be a distance between us because you said something so fucking crazy like normalize holding your friend's feet to the fire and telling them that they're nuts yeah I totally agree I know every like half the group like hates Janet they say like she's crazier than Kristen she's a shit starter I haven't seen it yet like I just haven't seen and even Kristen last night on Watch What happens live like they're just talking so I mean if she does come for Nia like that Nia is a pee jow protected class I will be interested to see what that's about but um yeah so far it's just not landing for me like Janet seems fine and anything she's a little boring but like but like last season she was pregnant and so if anything she did wasn't perfect like you do get a pregnancy she gets a pass kristen doady is about to get one as well um but yeah it's just like not landing for me the the hatred of her and like how she's this crazy manipulator like who the fuck is they say she's more manipulative than jacks who has she manipulated into anything i mean that's insane to say yeah and so they said that to britney and that's offensive i'm sorry that Agreed.
And I just was genuinely curious at the amount of time they made us watch and learn about Zach's relationship. OK, thank you for with a married man who lives in Canada for discussing this because that FaceTime conversation was top five weirdest human communications I've ever seen in my life.
Monster energy refrigerator in his apartment. In his kitchen.
kitchen that whole scene this whole storyline was so do you know this guy like was do you film last season no no like we didn't get any df df like so he starts crying i'm going through a breakup he's being deported and he's married and when he said he was married i was like what are we talking about here the guy calls zach and like zach starts word vomiting um being like i want to be with you i want to make it we're gonna he found his green card he's here to stay benji hasn't said anything like like benji doesn't want to not only is he deported and married he also doesn't sound like he's like really in this relationship but also like who is benji in this world like who is benji when he started talking about benji before they showed their pictures and like explain your history i'm like benji i thought for sure i missed it in the last season no like i'm that should have been left on the cutting room floor like and that was a lot of time like he had own solo scene and then we're hearing about it with Brittany. I'm like, the whole second half of the episode was about this guy.
I'm like, how did we get here? And then Nia was, I went to her Instagram last night to catch up on her day in the city. And they all went out to dinner in the city.
Nia and Kristen and Tom Schwartz was there. And Zach and Benji.
Oh, okay. Well, at least they're together.
At least it wasn't for nothing. I don't think they're like, now they're together.
I think it's like still like drama and the threat of deport. Like maybe he's just on vacation.
The threat of deportation to Canada. Like this is so unserious.
Like I seriously have no idea what's going on. No, that was just out of left field.

And like, I'm sorry, there's a lot going on. I'm glad I read the situation correctly.

Jesse and Michelle, Kristen B. Janet.

Like, we don't need to hear about Benji today.

Not today.

Okay, I'm so glad I was right about that.

I was so confused.

It was so odd.

Okay, that's funny.

Well, that's our show.

That's the Valley Recap.

Tomorrow we have Summer Hill.

I'm going to go. I was so confused.
It was so odd. Okay, that's funny.
Well, that's our show. That's the Valley Recap.
Tomorrow we have Summer Hills. Also, Paige is on Watch Reppens Live for the first time.
For the first time? For the first time in like over a year. Oh, for the first time like this season.
This season, yes. I saw someone on TikTok say that she hasn't been on since February 2024.
So don't ask me how I know that. So last season she went on.

Yeah, this is like her first appearance this season.

And first appearance post-breakup.

That's why it's remarkable. I was thinking, I saw she's going to be on tonight.

I was like, this is going to be like juicy probably.

Because Andy's going to just ask her everything.

Especially in light of the Southern Charm reunion.

They haven't filmed the Summer House reunion.

Andy's asking his questions.

Hopefully he's in a good mood.

I hope Andy's in a good mood.

Yeah.

Hopefully she brings a dog.

Thank you guys so much for listening.

She has a cat.

Thank you guys so much for listening

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